Lost

He woke up to find Winner holding his hand. That was better. Not pleasant but at least feasible. He pulled his hand back and sat up a bit more. “Ahh, you’re awake.” Winner gave him an overly bright smile. He internally winced at the fake smile. Not that you could tell it was faked. Winner was too good at this after all but coupled with the pity in his eyes it was a bit too much to swallow. The bitter aftertaste it left was even harder to swallow.

“Obviously.” And off course Winner would just smile at his tone. The guy was impossible to offend sometimes. Especially when he got like this. He cursed himself again for agreeing to come here. “Sleep well.” Gods couldn’t the man just fuck off. He didn’t want those pitying glances. Winner’s least of all. He didn’t answer, hoping he would get the point and leave. Off course that would be too easy. “You know you can talk to us right. It hasn’t been easy for any of us. We could help.”

He wished his head could reach the wall. Maybe if he banged his head into it often enough he could knock himself unconscious and wouldn’t have to deal with THE talk. Again. “Wufei…” Again that sympathetic hand on his own coupled with another one of those looks. Right now he wanted to stab those eyes. That way he wouldn’t have to look at them. He snatched his hand away as of he had been burned. Gods couldn’t they just leave him the fuck alone. He didn’t need this. He didn’t WANT this. They’ve been happily ignoring him for years.

His vision blackened as screams rung in his ears. Not now damn it. Not in front of him. His breathing was erratic. His chest burned. He grabbed his head, needing the images to stop. He felt something touch him. A voice in his ear. He instinctively lashed out. Something grabbed him right after. Held him. He tried fighting it off. It was restraining him. He didn’t want to be restrained. He didn’t want to go there. Not those rooms where they did those things. He needed out. He needed out now. He wouldn’t do that again. Not now. Not when he could barely hold on. He wouldn’t survive it like this.

There was a soft touch at his hair, breaking through the images and his own screams of pain. Slowly the images calmed until he could make out a voice in his ear. “It’s okay. Just breathe. That’s it. You’re safe. Shhh. It’s alright. It’s alright.” He slumped into the embrace, trying to stop the tears that were threatening to take over. He didn’t need them to see how weak he was. This was bad enough. He struggled to compose himself. He tried to leave the embrace but the arm around his chest tightened. Not letting go. “I’m not going anywhere. Just relax. It’s okay.” The fingers stroking his hair never stopped.

Slowly he looked up into one green eye. “Barton.” He flinched as those calm eyes seemed to bore straight into his wounded soul. Barton always did have a way of seeing people. Maybe even more so than the empath. He didn’t answer. He looked around, searching for Winner. “I sent him away. I figured you wouldn’t want him around right now.” He gave a soft growl. “Don’t particularly want anyone around right now.” Or ever. Not anymore. That time had past. “I know. But you need it.” He tried to hold on to the anger that raised. Desperately needed to but the soft hand stroking his hair made it impossible.

Tiredly he gave up. For now. It wasn’t any use. Barton had made up his mind and he wouldn’t budge. The man could be as stubborn as Yuy himself. Gods he wanted a drink right now. Just get out of his head because this was to confusing. What did they want. Neither Barton or Yuy were the cuddly type so why. Were they just trying to patch him together long enough to fight. Why were they sparing fighters for that. Wouldn’t it just be easier to leave him alone. To drop him completely as they had already all but done. “Shhhh. You’re over thinking things again. Just rest. You need it.” It took to much effort to actually speak the biting comment that begged to leave his lips. He sighed and closed his eyes. Maybe he could just rest. At least for a little while. Not like Barton was going to take no for an answer.