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Sand Castles	By : kracken Category: Gundam Wing/AC > Yaoi - Male/Male > Heero/Duo Views: 2255 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing and I don't make any money off of this story.

Chapter List
- 1-Sand Castles
- 2-2
- 3-3
- 4-4
- 5-5
- 6-6
- 7-7
- 8-8
- 3
- 4
- 5
"They're good," Duo muttered as he walked around the 3-d map. "Ice, snow, glaciers, volcanoes.. Landing there is impossible. Satellites can't get a fix on shit. Seventy percent chance of nature taking out the entire operation. Definitely men who aren't bothered by suicide missions."

"Slow process of walking in equipment," Heero agreed as he eyed the crevasse and tried to see something, any hint of an installation. "Thermal power, most likely."

Wu Fei reached into the simulation and spun the view, before tweaking it to make the crevasse look larger. "Nothing is concrete, of course, but this area of rock is two percent cooler than the surrounding area."

"Two percent?" Trowa snorted from where he lounged in one of the conference room chairs. "We're risking lives on a two percent temperature anomaly?"

"Our lives," Duo agreed. He was still out of uniform, wearing a loose black tee with a white skull in a splatter formation on the front. His jeans were black, as well, one knee a little worn. In a fight, Heero thought, it automatically marked which knee he used most when fighting, kneeling to shoot, or even climbing into a transport. It was a mark that could be used against him, and it confirmed his state of mind. He wasn't a hundred percent.

Even Heero had put on his Preventer uniform. When working in head quarters it gave him an instant recognition and level of command that casual clothing didn't. After months in flip flops and only swim trunks, it chafed and felt constrictive.

"Satellites didn't show any foot traffic?" Heero felt compelled to ask, just to be thorough. He already knew the answer and the hundreds of ways satellite recognition could be avoided.

"None," Wu Fei replied. He looked to Commander Une, who was pacing with her hands locked behind her back, waiting for them to finish with their conclusions. "Our mission will be to access the installation."

"And acquire information, weapons, and equipment," Une added."I want to know if this group has arms and where they go."

"I hate these kinds of missions," Duo grumbled as he reached out and spun the image like a top and turned away. "A good bomb tossed down their throats will make everyone's lives easier."

"That's why I make the mission plans, and you don't, Maxwell," Une retorted. "If you don't have the stomach for it, drop out."

Duo glared at her. "I'll ignore that," he said, "but I can't ignore the fact that I shouldn't be on this mission to begin with. I do have a pretty big score to settle. Aren't you afraid that I won't keep a lid on that?"

The tension was thick in the room. Une simply stared calmly at Duo until he looked away and hunched his shoulders, like a wolf showing his grudging submission. Heero wanted to reach out reassuringly. His hand ached to touch.

"We're here, because we never hesitate to sacrifice our own interests," Trowa said as he traced some imaginary design on the table top with a calloused finger.

Heero's hand went into a fist as Duo nodded grimly. Yes, Heero thought, we sacrifice until we bleed out. "I'm not going." It was a moment before Heero recognized his own voice. He analyzed the declaration for a moment and then nodded, reconfirming it. Act on your emotions, he remembered. It had been a mistake to come back, to think that he could live both the lives that he wanted at the same time. Both of them took far too much dedication of purpose.

Duo's look of astonishment was something that he had to turn from, as he removed his uniform jacket and put it gently on the table. His gun and Preventer badge followed.

"Yuy!" Wu Fei protested hotly. "If this is some sort of joke, we don't have time for it!"

"It's not a joke," Heero replied firmly as he loosened his tie. "There are many men, with Preventers, young, eager men, who are just as capable as I am of mounting this suicide mission. I've given enough. If you need verbal consultations, I will still be available, but my body is my own and I want it at peace. I resign Commander Une."

Heero walked out of the room and down the corridor, before Duo caught up to him, grabbed him hard by the arm, and spun him round. He was furious. "What the fuck,Heero? You can't just leave us like this."

"I can," Heero replied, searching Duo's eyes, sadly. "I wish that you would as well. I wish that you could feel the peace that I've found."

"Why did you come back, then?" Duo demanded. "Did you just want this dramatic bullshit when you quit?"

"No," Heero replied and put a hand over Duo's on his arm. He pressed tightly. "After all of this time, I still couldn't pass up a chance to see you. I know that you don't want to hear that, but it's true."

Duo scowled. "You act like I don't want you around and then you decide to take off before I can even talk to you. Tell me straight what's going on, because I'm not getting it."

"Duo, I want to go on this mission," Heero told him, reaching out one hand to take hold of Duo's braid and run its softness through his fingers.

Duo watched his fingers slide, confused. "Should I call Sally? I think you need your head examined."

Heero shook his head with a pained smile. "I want to go for all the wrong reasons, reasons that might get us injured."

Duo blinked and then shook his head as if to clear it. "Still not following you."

"I want to go to keep you safe, to keep you from doing something dangerous, because, I believed, that you didn't care anymore."

Duo thought that over, chewing on his bottom lip, and then he let it go and asked, "and you don't think that now?"

"Two Gundam pilots, who understand the situation, can stay unemotional and logical about making sure that you follow orders," Heero replied as he dropped the braid, wondering why Duo had allowed that intimacy.

"So, now it's, 'Duo's good, time to get out of town?'." Duo sighed and said in exasperation, "Why can't you ever have a conversation with me? Why can't you stand still long enough for me... for me..." Duo pulled away completely and briskly rubbed his own arms. "What the hell does it matter? You run away. You don't say anything. You just stare at me like I'm a sideshow. Maybe that was why it was so easy for a terrorist mole to get me to bend over for him. I just wanted someone to talk outside of , 'Which bomb should we use and what's your ETA to target?'."

"You didn't want me," Heero said in an incredulous whisper. "You told me that I wasn't right for you."

Duo stared into his eyes. "When did I say that?"

"It takes more than mutual sexual orientation, to make the relationship rocket launch," Heero recalled from memory that still hurt as badly as when it had first been said.

Do frowned. "I said that?" Heero nodded and Duo looked even more confused. "I don't remember that at all. Why would I say that? Did you ask me something?"

He didn't remember the worst moment of Heero's life? The pain in Heero's psyche grew more intense. "I told you..." Heero swallowed when his voice failed him. "I told you that I was gay."

Duo was turning white. Heero could see him shake with emotion. "When was this?"

"End of the war party," Heero replied and wasn't sure how he was finding the strength to keep standing there and having his heart broken all over again. "I wanted you to know, that I was... that I wanted... I was hoping that we..."

Duo closed his eyes tightly. He said, "I remember being drunk. Everyone was hooking up for some after the party good time. I remember... Davis calling me on my cell..." He pushed his hair back to reveal the small bud piercing one inner ear like a blue glowing jewel. "He wanted to hook up with me. I said something stupid to him, blew him off. Maybe... Maybe that's what I said to him..."

Heero remembered the moment in acute detail, but gave it its new perspective. Standing slightly behind Duo, nervous and ready to blurt his revelation and hope for the future, Duo's reply had not seemed strange at all. He had been expecting rejection, after all, he realized. He had never really believed that Duo could show an interest in him.

"It's all ruined!" Heero shouted in anguish, jerking away and back from Duo. "We can't go back! We can't change everything that happened. I'll never be able to make you believe in me, not after what that bastard did to you. All a fucking misunderstanding!" His laugh was hysterical and he bit his hand to get it stopped.

Heero couldn't stay, couldn't listen to Duo trying to say something to him. Yes, he thought, he was a runner. He was going to run again, and , this time, he wasn't going to come back. He'd caused himself and Duo far too much pain.

TBC
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Sand Castles