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Endlessly	By : Froglady15 Category: Dragon Ball Z > AU - Alternate Universe Views: 2949 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Just my Husband, laptop, my 3 dogs and a very overactive imagination. Dragon Ball Z and any songs mentioned DO NOT belong to me. I MKE NO MONEY/PROFIT!

Chapter List
- 42
- 43
- 44
Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Just my Husband, laptop, my 3 dogs and a very overactive imagination… Dragon Ball Z and any songs mentioned in this fic DO NOT belong to me. I'm just borrowing them for my own twisted amusement.
Chapter 43
One week later…
It had been a week since the incident with Yamcha. One week since Bulma had invited Vegeta to share a bed with her to try and get to know Vegeta better in an attempt to try and salvage their relationship. The two of them spent a lot of time alone together in her room. Talking mostly. Trying to get to know one another all over again. For the most part it was going well, but to Vegeta's ever-growing frustration, Bulma still was nowhere near closer to wanting to re-establish the bond they'd had before.
She was completely adamant against it, despite her slow-growing feelings of desire beginning to blossom for the handsome Saiyan Prince. It wasn't that she didn't want him around, she was slowly beginning to trust him and want him; she could see that his intentions where she was concerned were sincere, but she just did not want to commit to having her mind and soul being such an open book to someone she still felt she barely knew. Not only had she been having flashbacks here and there of their former life together and while that had been making things easier on her with regards to the progress she and Vegeta were making, she also was having flashbacks of her time on Frieza's ship with Dr. Gero.
These flashbacks were usually accompanied by horrible migraines, nausea and severe mood swings, something which she wasn't sure if they were due to whatever they had done to her or because of her pregnancy; possibly both. She was also having flashbacks and nightmares of the horrific things they had shown her of the things Vegeta had possibly been involved with.
Bulma had consulted her father about it and his guess had been that they had maybe done something intentional to her to feel that way should she allow her mind to go against the way they had conditioned her to think; reason being, that every time she thought of Vegeta or tried to rationalize and fight against the thoughts she was having, they had placed a trigger to discourage her from that train of thought and that would bring on the nightmares, migraines and nausea. Dr. Briefs said it was a common practice in situations where someone was brainwashed and then reprogrammed to be experiencing the symptoms she seemed to be having, however he was at a loss for a solution. For now, she just had to tough it out and work through overcoming it on her own.
She awoke with a start in the early hours of the morning, completely unaware of her surroundings and in a complete and total panic.
Vegeta, now becoming used to her frequent night terrors, pulled her close in an attempt to calm her however this time it seemed to have the opposite effect.
"Get away from me!" she said angrily with clenched teeth, shaking like a leaf while struggling against his hold.
"Woman, it is fine!" he said, sleepily. "You are safe now."
"Not with you, I'm not!" she raged at him, still trying to wriggle herself away from him.
"Enough," he growled at her irritably, not loosening his hold on her.
She paused a moment, taking in her surroundings before relaxing a little and allowing him to draw her into his comforting embrace. As much as she hated to admit it, she always felt safe when he held her close like he was now. Even when she felt ill at ease and distrustful of him and his intentions, a part of her felt like she belonged there.
"I'm sorry," she whispered after a long time as she hid her face in her hand, attempting to stifle a sob. When would this end? She felt the tip of his nose and his lips brush along her jaw line and up just under her right ear. He never said much in these moments, was always just there like a constant presence. He would hold her silently until she fell asleep again.
As he lay there holding her, he frowned deeply as she took a few deep breaths in both an attempt to calm herself down and hide the fact that she was crying. After a few minutes, not knowing what else to do, he carefully turned her over so that she was facing him. Her left hand still covering the majority of her face, her mouth turned down into a frown. He removed her hand from her face, gently threading his fingers with hers and held it close as he looked at her intently.
"Vegeta, just leave me be," she pleaded weakly, wiping the tears from her eyes with her other hand.
The sight of her looking so sad and crushed frightened him to his core. He couldn't help but think the same thought he had thought several times over the past week he had been dealing with this with her: This woman was broken. His mate was broken and he did not know how to fix her or make any of this better. Not without repairing the bond.
"Tell me," he said to her. "Tell me what you dreamt."
"No," she replied, shaking her head. "I can't."
"Why not?"
"Because," she started, taking a deep breath, trying not to start sobbing again. "Because I can't talk about it."
"Why not?" he asked, trying to keep his tone gentle, even though he was becoming exceedingly annoyed by the minute with her. "Did it have something to do with me?"
She nodded and covered her mouth again as more tears began to flow.
"Then why not tell me about it?" he pressed.
"Because I don't want to know," she said between sobs. "I don't want to know if that nightmare was real or something else they've fabricated."
Vegeta simply nodded, unsure if he should push for her to tell him or not. If it was something real, how could he deny it? What if it caused a major setback for her? As it was, things were so far from normal between them, he didn't think he could handle another setback. She was finally comfortable enough around him that she didn't flinch or tremble in fear when he touched her.
Not knowing what else to do, he comforted her the only way he knew how: He kissed her. He kissed her on her cheek, where it was still damp from her tears. He kissed her along her jaw and finally her lips. He kissed her carefully and slowly, waiting and hoping for her to respond. Finally, she did.
She kissed him back slowly, sighing as he welcomed her response and deepened the kiss. She didn't know why, but she absolutely loved kissing him. And she loved it when he kissed her. It was as though everything else stopped and nothing else mattered. He literally took her breath away and it both surprised her and frightened her. It surprised her because he was so harsh. The man she had seen in battle while fighting Frieza and the man who was in her bed right now kissing her so intently, were two very different men. If she weren't here experiencing it for herself, she would have never believed it. It was wonderful and she felt giddy every time she dwelled on the brief but frequent make out sessions they'd been having over the last few days. But it frightened her because she didn't feel ready to take things further with him. So far he had been very respectful of that. He never pushed her for anything more. But since they'd had a past together that obviously included that type of intimacy, she did not want to tease him and keep putting him off. She knew that wasn't fair. So far the man's level of self-control astounded her, but he was still a man, she reasoned. How long would he be okay with just this?
She reached for him, running her fingers through his thick hair with her free hand as she continued to kiss him and let him erase the memory of the horrific dream she'd just had. It couldn't have been real; she told herself. This man could not have done the things she'd dreamt up. Her thoughts were cut short as he shifted somewhat, settling himself between her legs as he still kissed her within an inch of her life. He hadn't done anything like this so far when they'd kissed. She decided in that moment that it was alright. She craved the closeness and the secure feeling that came with it.
Vegeta continued to kiss her, however was mindful of not taking things too far with her. So far she hadn't seemed to mind what he was doing. His only thought moments ago had been to get her to stop crying. He couldn't stand it when she cried. Now, here they were kissing each other deeply and he was only hoping she would not push him away. He knew he should probably back off, but he didn't want to. He wanted to lose himself with her. It had felt like it had been so long since their union had been full and complete.
He broke his lips away from her and looked down at her; a frown across his handsome features as he studied her intently.
"What?" she asked, feeling her face grow warm at the intense way he was looking at her. She wasn't sure if it was a good look or a bad look, but it was making her uncomfortable.
He didn't reply for a long moment as he continued to look at her and then shook his head. "I am sorry,"
"For what?" she asked with a confused frown. "You didn't do anything. I'm the one who woke you up. I'm the one who's messed up and can't remember anything."
"I am sorry this happened to you." He said, still looking down at her.
"It's not your fault. I know that now."
He shook his head at her. "I should have never let you out of my sight."
"Well, that's not really fair." She said with a slight frown. "For you, I mean. I'm sure there's stuff you like to go and do that doesn't include me."
He nodded. "I train."
"Right. You have to have your own space every now and again and your own activities. That's only normal. You shouldn't feel you have to watch me every waking moment of the day. What a burden!"
"You could choose to look at it that way, but if I had been paying attention, none of this would have happened."
"Alright, but then Frieza would still be lurking around. You would have had to face him some time; and I still wouldn't have my parents back," she said. "I am sorry I can't remember anything but thank you for coming after me and getting me and my family off of that ship." She finished, reaching up for him while untangling her other hand from his and wrapped both arms around his neck, pulling him down on top of her and burying her face into the side of his neck. He let her pull him down, wrapping his arms around her small frame, holding her close.
He didn't move or say anything for a long moment, but inhaled her scent deeply. That's when he caught it; it wasn't as strong as it usually had been when they were together in close proximity, but it was there. The very faint scent of her arousal. It was unmistakable.
He looked at her again and couldn't help the smirk threatening to take hold over his neutral features.
"What?" she asked with a confused frown.
Vegeta didn't say anything, but leaned down and began to kiss her again. He kissed her hungrily and longingly; not wanting to frighten her, but wanting to convey to her how much he wanted her and needed her. After a few minutes, when she hadn't pushed him away from her, he allowed his hand to wander down her side and slid his fingers up just a bit, grazing her abdomen. Her breath hitched just a bit at the feeling of his fingers lightly brushing the bare flesh of her waist. His hand did not continue to travel upwards, but he let it remain there unobtrusively.
She kissed him back, arching herself against him, all the while wondering in the back of her mind where this was going. She wasn't sure if she was ready for this. She wanted it, but wasn't sure she wanted what would go along with it: Reinstating the bond. As she was trying to decide what she should do, he broke off their kiss.
She looked at him curiously for a moment, waiting for him to say something when he leaned down, kissed her forehead and shifted himself off of her. "Go back to sleep." He said, pulling her close to him again and setting in.
Bulma couldn't help but frown to herself, trying to figure out what just had happened? Why had he stopped? Up until a moment ago, he had been kissing her with an intensity that made her grow warm all over and made her head spin. He had stopped so abruptly, she wondered if it had actually happened or had she just imagined it? She sighed in frustration and it didn't take long before she fell asleep again.
Though she had been keeping up a mental wall since they had made it back to the ship, Vegeta was still able to pick up on the odd thought of hers here and there; usually when she was distracted. As he had been kissing her, he'd been able to pick up on her indecision. He knew a part of her wanted him; that much was obvious. But he wanted her to fully want him. He wanted her to want him like she used to. He wanted her to want him and to need him the way he wanted and needed her.
For tonight, he decided to quit while he was ahead. He knew she physically wanted him, and that made him very happy. He could deal with just knowing that at the moment. It was progress! So, he decided rather than make her feel like he was pushing himself on her for more than she was ready for, he decided to quit before she objected. Quit while she was still wanting more. He knew it was playing dirty, but he was slowly becoming more and more impatient with this whole scenario.
Her rejecting the bond was slowly beginning to wear on him. He felt he was managing alright in trying to put off the depression that was beginning to set in, but it was becoming a losing battle. If she didn't change her mind soon, he wasn't sure what he would do. He may have no choice but to sever the rest of it completely. While he did not want to resort to that, he knew that if she didn't relent on this he could not live his life partially bonded to a mate who did not want to be bonded to him. If she did not want to be bonded to him, he would leave. She would have to give him either everything or nothing. He would not accept half measures.
It would pain him to his very core to have to do that; even the thought of having to do that caused him distress. But it was something he had to consider just in case she decided to never restore their bond. He would not wallow around pathetically in a state of constant depression for the rest of his life. He felt a small twinge of guilt as he thought back on all those months they had been separated and he had closed himself off from her. She had told him how agonizing and painful that had been on her. He hadn't fully understood that until now in these past few weeks on the ship as she continued to reject the bond. It did hurt. While he supposed he somewhat deserved to know what he had really put her through and experience the feeling for himself, he would only allow it for so long before he decided to let it all go. If she was that set against him even though she now knew a good portion of their history and that he would do anything to keep her safe; if she still decided to turn her back on all of that, he would let her go.
With those unsettling thoughts in mind, he eventually fell back asleep.
-0-0-0-
The next day, he got up early and went to go and relieve Kakarott from flying the ship for a few hours. He needed to think and gather his thoughts in order and decide what to do about Bulma without her around to distract him. He could not stop thinking about how things were progressing between them.
Now that he knew she wanted him, he could not help but want to finish what they had started last night. What was holding her back? She was not afraid of him. She had made tremendous progress in that regard. She didn't even seem to hate him any more either. She always greeted him and never pushed him away or flinched at his touch when he went to kiss her or hold her. That was all positive. So then, what was the problem?
The bond could not be such a horrible thought to her, could it? She had not balked at it when he told her about it initially when discussing Saiyan rituals. So what was the problem? It was really starting to pick at him that she kept him completely closed off from her.
He began to think back on how things had been before with them. Things had come together so differently. It had only taken her a few days when they had first met. Not even that. The night he'd brought her back with him, they'd nearly been intimate. Twice. After just over a week he had very nearly lost himself and would have taken her as his mate then had she not objected in surprise that he'd nipped her a little bit more enthusiastically in his need for her by mistake. A week and a half after that, he'd taken her as his mate. By this time last time, they had been mated and bonded and separated.
He had to keep reminding himself that things weren't as simple as that this time. Back then, she hadn't known anything about him except for what he'd chosen to fill her in on. He had done it at his own pace and she had accepted him despite his violent past and many flaws. This time, he had the work of a mad scientist filling her head with all sorts of hateful crap working against him. Before this, she hadn't been afraid of him and hadn't minded when he'd taken the lead in their relationship. In this case, he was afraid to take the lead, for fear of scaring her away; he had no clue how to play this and it was beginning to wear on him. Sure she needed time and patience, but at the same time, he needed her. He wanted her. He needed their bond. The fact that she was rejecting it as strongly as she was, was beginning to affect him negatively.
He growled to himself in annoyance as he tried to dismiss everything and think about something else entirely but found he could not. This was the exact reason he had never had an interest in having a mate to begin with! He hated this feeling of being connected to her now that she was rejecting him. He hated that it was affecting him to the point where he could not think on anything else but her and this impossible situation they were in. Part of him wanted to do nothing more than go back to her room and force her to see reason. Then what would she do? She would have to remember things as they were and accept him again.
What if that backfired though?
What if just holding her down and ravaging her until she was exhausted and then biting her, forcing the bond open only undid the progress they'd made? Then he would be worse off than he was now. Then he would be just as bad as what they had told her he was and she would most likely never be willing to give him another chance. He didn't really want to resort to that anyway; that was how badly this whole thing was beginning to affect him- he was beginning to have horrible thoughts like that.
The thought popped into his mind that maybe he could still share physical intimacy with her since she seemed alright with that, but he decided against it. Why should he be willing to give her everything if she did not want to return it?
Vegeta sighed heavily in aggravation and ran his hand down his face, willing himself to stop acting like a weak fool and forget about all of this for now. He focused on the progress they had made and decided to give her till the time they landed on Callisto to make her decision.
In the meantime, he would continue to spend his nights with her but would refrain from any physical advances towards her unless she made an advance towards him. That was what he would do.
Determined to keep his resolve of not initiating any physical contact with her turned out to be a lot harder and trying on his self-control than he had initially thought. He noticed her somewhat disappointed demeanor that he would simply head to bed and not reach out to her. He would still talk and converse with her cordially and answer any questions she still had about their past life together, but that too was beginning to wear on him; he was growing tired of it. He wanted to be patient with her, but it was so difficult. Especially with her in the same room as him, her scent constantly assaulting him; reminding him that she was here, right in front of him, but still not wanting to trust him enough to let him repair their union. It was slowly becoming more than he could tolerate. One more week of this, he decided and he would lose his mind in this ridiculous limbo she seemed have placed him in, this whatever this was they had going on here. She did not mind sharing his company and her bed with him and did not mind when he touched her, comforted her or bestowed his physical affections upon her. But that was all she would allow. Any time he had tried to reach out to her through the bond, she closed her mind off to him.
He was slowly beginning to resent her for it.
So he sighed deeply and entered her room for yet another confusing and frustrating evening with her. She was sitting on her bed, reading a book. Vegeta had thrown together a ton of things when he had been waiting for the ship to be available to them. He knew she loved to read, so he had thrown in a few books for her.
"Hey," she greeted, not taking her eyes off the book she was reading, her knees up, and the book resting in between them.
"Hmmn," he replied absently, pulling off his shirt and tossing it to the side.
Bulma couldn't help but sneak an appreciative peek at him from behind her book. She had been having a hard time staying away from him. He was really starting to grow on her and she was beginning to look forward to the evenings when he would come to bed and they would talk into the wee hours of the night between increasingly intense make out sessions. It was like she was becoming addicted to him.
She went back to her book as he approached her and sat down next to her on the bed, not saying anything to her. She continued to read for a few more moments before putting her book down and looking at him. He looked lost.
"You alright?" she asked, looking at him oddly. Usually he was the one to instigate any physical contact. He was always so careful, clearly not wanting to make her uncomfortable. Though she was well past that now; she almost craved his touch. Never had anyone made her feel the way he did and she was beginning to want more from him, but was afraid to cross that line. She still did not want to fix the bond. She wondered if he knew that, because the last few nights he had not instigated anything. They had talked and visited, but he would not go out of his way to touch her.
When he didn't respond, she poked him on his shoulder. "Hey," she tried again before boldly deciding to straddle his hips and sit in his lap. She may not feel ready to fix the bond just yet, but she didn't mind the physical contact with him. The way he touched her was always so careful but so deliberate. She couldn't help but wonder what she was missing out on by not allowing him to take things further with her. Every time he backed off, the more curious she seemed to become about that aspect of their former relationship and she wondered if he was just as affected by her as she was by him.
Vegeta looked at her appreciatively and pulled her closer to him, placing one hand on the small of her back and the other he allowed to wander down and explore her hip and leg. He looked at her; she was so beautiful. She looked back at him and smiled. He removed his hand from her hip and ran his fingers gently through her hair, marveling at the soft texture of it and noting how quickly it was growing again.
Bulma looked back at him and saw an intensity that made her feel warm all over. She leaned forward, hugging him tightly and rested her head on his shoulder, burying her face in the crook of his neck and closed her eyes. She loved the feeling of having him close to her; she wished she could just stay here with him in this exact moment and not worry about anything else; their past or future or making another bond. This moment was absolutely perfect, she didn't want anything to ruin it. She relaxed as she felt Vegeta's hands slip under her top and caress the sides of her bare flesh. She shivered at his touch and sighed in contentment as his hands continued to slowly travel up and then back down her sides in a soothing motion.
Vegeta took in her scent and closed his eyes and enjoyed the close proximity. He continued to caress her gently; he could hear and feel her heart beating a mile a minute and wondered why? He wanted to say something to her, he wanted to tell her how much he needed for them to restore their bond but the words wouldn't come. So, instead, he wrapped his arms around her and hugged her to him; squeezing her gently and opened his eyes, turning his head to look down at her.
She felt her face grow warm and wasn't sure what to say to him so she kissed him lightly on his lips and then tried to get up off his lap before things escalated too much further but he held her firmly in place. She looked at him in confusion.
"Woman," he started but she cut him off, kissing him on the lips again, not wanting him to ruin the moment by starting a serious conversation. He returned her kiss immediately and pulled her closer to him, his hands settling on her hips and pushing them into the back of her shorts and pulling her hips tightly against his. She smiled against his mouth and ran her fingers up through his hair, not breaking her lips away from his.
Vegeta continued to kiss her back and held her closely against him for another few moments before moving one arm around her waist and moved them so that she was lying on her back and he was on top of her. This was the first she had boldly instigated any physical contact between them. He had quit doing so after the other night in hopes that she would come to him and finally want to fix things with them since she was finally comfortable with him.
He moved his hand down her side and along her leg, encouraging her to hook it around his hip as he still continued to kiss her deeply and slowly ground his hips into her center, subtly trying to convey his intentions to her. It was time to finally re-strengthen their union once again. He didn't see anything holding them back now, not now that she was no longer fearful of him.
She gasped at his bold action as she felt the evidence of his arousal against the inside of her thigh and ground her hips back against his. She wanted him. After over a week of this, she didn't want to wait anymore.
As she gasped for air, his mouth travelled up along her jaw line and down her neck, he alternated kissing and nipping her. He finally made it back down to the base of her neck, where he had bitten her before; he licked and sucked on the now marred skin where Frieza had burned off the evidence of their initial bond.
The feeling of his lips and mouth and teeth grazing her neck sent a weave of panic through her and brought her out of her lust like a cold bucket of water. "Vegeta," she moaned as he continued to kiss her neck.
"Hmmn?"
"Vegeta, I want,"
"What do you want?"
"I-I want," it was so hard to think at the moment. "I think we should stop." She finally said.
He abruptly quit kissing her and looked down at her. "You think we should stop or you want me to continue?"
"Both?" she answered. "I'm sorry. Just can't do this. I want to, I do. But I just can't." she felt her heart nearly break as she caught the flash of disappointment in his eyes; though it was quickly replaced by his usual impassive demeanor. It had been so brief, she wasn't even sure she had even seen it.
Vegeta didn't say anything. He only nodded once and moved away from her. He laid there next to her for a moment before getting up and out of her bed.
"Where are you going?" she asked him.
"I will find someplace else to sleep." He answered, pulling his shirt back on.
"But why? You can stay here. Please don't go." She objected.
"Why shouldn't I go?" he asked; his tone much harsher than he had meant it to be.
"Because I don't want you to go," she said. "I don't mind if you stay."
"It is very clear I do not belong here."
She exhaled harshly as she sat up to confront him. "Why? Because I don't want you to fuck me just yet?"
Vegeta shook his head at her and chuckled darkly. "Woman, if all I wanted from you was a good fuck, it would have happened weeks ago when we first boarded this ship."
Bulma laughed and shook her head at him, "Right. This isn't about that at all."
"It isn't."
"Then what's the problem?"
"We need to repair the bond."
"But I don't want that."
"Well, I need that." He said firmly. "I can wait for the rest, but I need you to accept the bond again."
"Right, and in order to bond we have to be intimate. Isn't that how it works?" she asked bitterly. "Believe me, I'm more than sexually frustrated right now. It's more than confusing to me because I've never felt that need before for anyone, not even Yamcha in all that time we were together and a huge part of me wants to just cave and give into that; I love being close to you and I love it when you touch me and kiss me. I want to throw caution to the wind and just do it already, but if that means doing the bond again, then I can't. It's not fair to you since it's not something I want again and it's not fair to me to be put back into that."
"Woman, you don't even remember the bond." He sighed in annoyance. "How can you just shut your mind off to it and refuse to open it again when you cannot even remember it? No, we do not have to be intimate for it to work. All you need to do is open your mind to it and accept it. Being intimate will help to strengthen it again, but I think we can begin repairing it if you would simply put some effort into it yourself."
"I'm not ready." She said. "I don't know if I ever will be."
He nodded. "Yet it would seem you'd be alright with it then if all I wanted to do was screw you with no strings attached."
"No," she said with a frown.
"Yes," he countered. "You more or less just admitted that if it weren't for the risk in building the bond, you would be open to it."
"Okay, so?" She huffed.
"So let me turn this scenario around then so that I understand what it is you are trying to tell me, You see me as good enough to fuck and fool around with but not good enough to form a permanent bond and commitment with? Explain; because I am at a loss to understand what to do anymore where you are concerned." He explained angrily. "I have been patient and have given you your space and have been respectful of your ordeal, yet you make no effort on your part to remedy our situation or even meet me half way there."
"I can't! I don't know! It has nothing to do with you not being good enough. In case you haven't noticed, I am very attracted to you and I kinda have a crush on you. Alright? Don't let it go to your head. You're kind of cute." She said, rolling her eyes, trying to diffuse the argument before it got out further of hand. It was clear that neither one of them was going to win this one; nor did she have an answer for him any clearer than that. She wanted him but not the bond.
"Woman, I am an Elite Saiyan warrior of Royal blood. I can assure you, I am absolutely not kind of cute." Growled irritably, unsure to take her words as a complimentary or insulting. "Even if such was the case, I will not take you in that way unless you agree to reopen the bond. It is pointless otherwise."
"Why? I know you want me." She said. "You can barely keep your hands off of me when we're alone not to mention I've felt the obvious evidence of it when you're making out with me. Yea, I'm not that naïve."
He looked at her with a scowl that quite literally sent a wave of fear chill down her spine. "Of course want you," he admitted so quietly she almost didn't hear him. "But it is more than that. What we had before goes beyond just a physical need for one another. By forging the bond that we did, it made us need one another; mind, body and soul. It is not something either of us can just walk away from. I never wanted a mate for that exact reason. It is nothing but a distraction and opens up a huge weakness for a perfect warrior such as myself.
"You rejecting the bond is damaging to me; much in the same way it was damaging to you when I shut you out when we were separated. There is enough of it there that it is beginning to affect me in a very negative way." he said in a detached tone, berating himself for having to admit that to her. "If you are to be with me, I require a whole and complete union with you."
Bulma frowned. She knew the bond was a serious thing, that's why she was so hesitant to rebuild it. She could remember what it had felt like when he'd blocked her out. It had been horrible. Now, she was putting him through that very same thing. She felt guilty, but not enough to want to change it at this moment. "I'm sorry, but I'm not ready."
"But you feel ready and comfortable enough to let me have your body?"
She shrugged, "I enjoy your company. I love the way you touch me, the way you kiss me. I do want to explore further intimacy with you, I really do. Don't think that I have just been leading you on these past few weeks, it's not like that."
"Then what is it like?"
"I want you around; I want a relationship with you, but I'm not ready for a bond with you." She said honestly. "Maybe one day, but not right now."
"That is not good enough." He said as he shook his head at her, giving her a pained expression and left her room.
Bulma curled herself up in a ball and let herself cry. How had everything gone so wrong so fast? The evening had started out nearly perfectly. She wiped the tears from her eyes and began to think about what had just happened. Why was this such a difficult thing for him to understand?
-0-0-0-
The next morning, Bulma woke up feeling emotionally drained and exhausted. She had barely slept. When she had slept, she was greeted by the usual nightmares that had been present in her dreams since she had left Frieza's ship. Visions of Vegeta gleefully destroying young families and planets single headedly. Nightmares if him killing her child once he or she was born. Nightmares of him forcing herself on her repeatedly for hours on end as way of punishment for her not wanting to accept the bond again.
That one was new.
In one such dream, as he had his way with her he had not only broken her body by his sheer strength but had ripped open her throat when he had gone to bite her again to reopen the bond. He had laughed bitterly at her as he continued to roughly thrust into her as she bled out. She had known that one was completely out to lunch, but it still disturbed her none the less. In the moments after she had woken up she had wished more than anything that he had been there beside her to comfort her and chase the memory of it away with his presence. And his lips...
Instead of dwelling further on her horrific nightmares, she decided to get up for the day. She took a shower and changed into a loose pair of sweatpants and top that just barely covered her now small bump beginning to appear. Vegeta had thrown together a bunch of clothes; mostly comfortable ensembles for her to wear, but it was becoming apparent that by the time they reached their destination she would need to go shopping for either maternity wear or larger clothes. Never had she ever thought she would be dealing with this at her age. As she examined herself, she was relieved that no stretch marks had appeared yet; though she wasn't that far along. She was only just showing in the last few weeks since they had boarded the ship.
Bulma frowned. How far along was she?
She had no clue. She tried to do the math; four weeks back to Callisto from Frieza's ship. So she assumed four weeks to Frieza's ship when Yamcha abducted her. So that was eight weeks. Plus another two or three that she was actually there, she had no idea how long she had been there for. That left for her to find out how far had she been along when Yamcha had taken her? She shook her head. It was giving her a headache. She decided on 15 or 16 weeks. That had to be a decent estimate she figured. Four months? Five at the most. She wasn't sick anymore. So she decided on that. She decided she could also ask Chi-Chi when she returned home. She would know. She couldn't wait to see her friend!
Bulma exited the small bathroom and made her way to the kitchen for some breakfast. Thankfully the only people there were her parents.
"Oh my, you look exhausted!" her mother exclaimed. "Did that handsome prince of yours keep you up all night?" She asked with a wink.
"No, mom!" she whined irritably. "God! Is that all you can think of?"
"Well you two have spent so much time together since we've boarded this ship, sweetie!" her mother replied. "I know you have no memory of him and I think it's so romantic that the two of you are trying so hard to rekindle your relationship."
Bulma couldn't hold back the tears threatening to fall. "Mom, just don't,"
"What's the matter, sweetie?" her mother asked coming around to her.
"Nothing," she replied, trying to pull herself together. "It's just not that simple, okay?"
"Oh, would you like to talk about it over breakfast?" she asked.
"No," Bulma sighed. "Just give me a cup of coffee, I'm going back to bed." She said as she grabbed a cup and poured herself a cup of black coffee and left the small lunch room to retreat back to her bedroom.
On her way there, she saw Vegeta who was obviously on his way to the kitchen to get some breakfast.
"Hey," she greeted him.
"Hmmn,"
"Did you sleep alright?" she asked, though felt it was a stupid question to ask him.
"I didn't sleep." he replied.
"Oh," was all she said.
He looked at her a moment, taking in her worn appearance. "I take it you slept very little?"
"I had more nightmares." She confessed. "Some of them were really bad last night."
He nodded but didn't comment.
"I missed that you weren't there." She muttered quietly.
"Right, because my sole purpose in life is to comfort and coddle you," he said harshly.
"Don't be that way," she said. "I want you around. Your presence helps, you know."
"Woman, I have done everything that I can think of to help you through this but the one thing you continually reject." He replied almost bitterly. "Fixing the bond will go a long way towards fixing you. I not only want to fix it for my satisfaction and sanity, but for yours as well."
"I know," she nodded. "I'm sorry. I can't though."
Vegeta shook his head in annoyance, "Then you can enjoy sleeping alone and dealing with it yourself." Was all he said as he continued to make his way to the kitchen.
"You're such an asshole!" she called back at him. "Maybe they were right about you!"
Vegeta turned around to look at her and shrugged. "Maybe they were. You'll never find out for yourself I guess if you won't even put forth the effort." He taunted and disappeared into the kitchen.
Bulma frowned at the hallway and went into her room. She just wanted to be left alone. She couldn't believe was a jerk he was being about this! Why couldn't he just give her a little more time? Was that such a difficult and unreasonable thing for her to expect? She didn't think so.
As she sat there dwelling on her predicament, her mother knocked at the door and poked her head in. "Sweetie? It's me, can I come in?"
"Mom, I just want to be left alone,"
"I don't think so, dear. I think you need to tell me what's been going on between you and that man of yours. It did not escape my notice that he's in just as fowl a mood this morning as you are." Bunny said knowingly. "He didn't even want any of the breakfast pastries I managed to throw together. If there's anything I've learned these past few week from those two handsome young men that the way to their hearts it through their stomachs."
Bulma groaned irritably. She really wasn't in the mood for her mother's mindless chatter. This was a situation she knew absolutely nothing about. Though she couldn't help but wish that this scenario between her and Vegeta could be remedied by simply making him a delicious meal.
"Come on, tell me what's wrong."
"Fine, but you won't be able to help because it's not a normal situation." She sighed knowing that her mother would not leave until she told her what was happening. She told her about how they had been visiting lots and he had filled her in on everything but that he wanted to put everything between them back to the way it was before. She briefly explained the bond, unable to go too in depth into it since there wasn't much more that she knew other than it was emotional and mental and very permanent and she wasn't ready to commit to that with Vegeta just yet and that he was taking it very personally.
Bunny sat there silent a few moments before sighing heavily, "Well I think it is truly honorable and romantic that he won't pursue you any further until you want to fix this bond thing. Poor boy! How sad and dejected he must feel. Shame on you for doing such a thing to that poor boy!" she scolded her daughter.
"Mom! You have no idea what it is that I'd be committing myself to!"
"That may be true, but you did before and things were good between you both until that horrible Lord Frieza and Dr. Gero got a hold of you. What are you so afraid of, dear? You have a wonderful young man who wants to be with you, not to mention he's the most handsome young man I've ever laid eyes on, but don't tell your father I said that." Bunny giggled absentmindedly. "You need to let go of whatever this is holding you back or you'll lose him. Trust me, a man like that won't just sit and wait around forever. He has his pride too."
"I may have already lost him, mom."
"Nah, I don't think so." Bunny replied, waving her hand dismissively. "You just hurt his feelings, not that I could blame him for being hurt! Just think about it for a few days, he'll come around and when he does, don't push him away. Try to fix this. If you don't, I have a bad feeling you'll regret it. Wonderful men like him and your father don't come along very often. And between you and me, I love Yamcha like he were my own son, but I think this Prince Vegeta will make you so much happier."
"Mom, he's nothing like dad and you only just met him. You don't even really know him to be able to make a judgement like that." Bulma sighed, rolling her eyes at her.
"That may be, but I have a sixth sense about these things. Not to mention I haven't missed the way he looks at you-"
"Mom, he can't even tell me he loves me."
"And some men are just like that, dear. They'll never say it. But put the pieces together, dear. If that boy didn't love you would he have traveled weeks in space to come get you? Would he have made the effort to find your father and me if he didn't truly care deeply for you? The actions speak louder than words ever could. Why can't you see that?"
"It's not that I don't see it, mom," she said. "It's just that I'm not ready for such a serious commitment. Why can't anyone get that?"
"Because you're only lying to yourself, dear." Her mother said. "How many times did you take Yamcha back and give him yet another chance despite his track record of hurting you with his inability to be faithful?"
Bulma shot her mother a dirty look in response.
"Yes, I am well aware of that whole scenario. I am not that oblivious. My point is, you gave him hundreds of chances and he never once proved to be worthy of you. Here is a young man who has done everything to prove himself to you and you refuse to give him a single chance. My advice to you-"
"Mom, that's just it! If I give him a chance and we restore this bond and things don't work out, then I'm stuck with him in my head for the rest of my life and he's stuck with me! It's ridiculous!"
"You didn't seem to think it ridiculous some time ago." Her mother argued back. "Anyway, my advice to you is to get yourself past this before you do irreparable damage. Fix things with him and move on. You'll of course do what you want, which is always how you've been but that is my opinion, dear."
Bulma simply nodded at her mother.
"One last thing, dear. Is it such a bad thing to you that you don't want to risk it? If you just let him go, you'll always wonder what if? That's all I have to say on the matter. The choice is yours and yours alone." Bunny finished as she walked out of her room, leaving Bulma there in her thoughts.
The rest of the trip went by without any incident or any progress between Bulma and Vegeta. He avoided her every chance he could and she refused to seek him out in order to try and make things better.
She wanted him to come to her and he wanted her to come to him. It was a stalemate between the two most stubborn individuals in the universe.
Kakarott and Bulma's parents simply shook their heads at the stubborn couple and left them both alone in hopes that they would both cave in and rectify this on their own. Perhaps once they got off the ship things would be better? The ship was cramped and dark and everyone was beginning to feel a little claustrophobic and stir crazy as the days and weeks dragged on.
Thankfully they landed the ship a few days later on Callisto.
"Oh, my! Isn't it gorgeous here?" Bunny exclaimed as they all exited the ship.
Yamcha quickly scampered off, leaving everyone on their own. He didn't want another confrontation with Vegeta or remind him that his death threat was to be carried out now that they had landed. He had taken great pains to avoid the Saiyan the rest of their journey home. He was hoping that Vegeta would just let this go and forget about him.
"Welcome to planet Callisto." Kakarott said cheerfully. "Our home isn't too far away from here. Just follow me." Bulma's parents followed Kakarott eagerly down the dirt path, ready to finally settle in somewhere.
Bulma hung back a bit, waiting for Vegeta to exit the ship. He seemed to be hanging back for some reason. He hadn't spoken to her since the morning after their argument and she desperately wanted to talk to him but didn't know what to say to him.
Things were just moving too fast for her. That was what she needed to tell him; that she wasn't completely rejecting him. She just wanted more time; more time to think things through, more time to get to know him better and be sure she wasn't making a huge mistake. The way she looked at it, if he really and truly did love her, he would understand and allow her that.
She waited a few minutes longer, unable to see her parents or Kakarott any longer. She didn't know how she knew, but she remembered where the house was. It was about a ten minute walk from here. So she wasn't worried about losing her way. She could even remember what the house looked like.
Just as she was about to give up on Vegeta exiting the ship sometime today, he emerged.
"Hey," She greeted him cautiously.
He made brief eye contact with her, eyeing her warily but did not reply. He stood there a long moment looking at her with an expression she could not read. She wasn't sure if it was angry or upset? He looked as though he were fighting an inner battle with himself and decided that it looked more like the look of indecision than anything else. He finally walked off the ship and walked past her without so much of a word or another glance.
"So?" she finally said to him, trying to keep up with the brisk pace he had set.
"What?" he answered, not turning to look at her.
"What's happening with us?"
"Us?" he repeated, looking over his shoulder at her.
"Yea, us." She repeated.
"Do you want to work on the bond?" he asked.
"Vegeta, I told you," she sighed. "I'm not ready for that. I can't-"
"Then there is no Us." He said sharply.
"Why not?" she asked, now trying to keep her emotions in check. "I don't understand! You say you're sorry for what happened to me and how it's not my fault-"
"It is not your fault and I am sorry for what happened; but your refusal to work on anything further between us makes it impossible for me to stick around."
"So what then?" she asked. "You're just going to leave?"
"I will be leaving, yes." He nodded. "I will leave here as soon as the ship is refueled and I will do what I can to sever whatever else is remaining of the bond. Consider your wish granted."
"Why?" she asked in near shock. It hadn't occurred to her that she had upset him that deeply.
"Because I cannot live out my life with a mate that does not wish to reciprocate a bond."
"But I still want a life with you, Vegeta." She objected. "I'm not saying I'll never want the bond, I'm only saying I don't want it right now. Not after going through what I did because of it. I still have horrible headaches!"
"So what am I to do, then, Woman?" he sneered. "Sit around like a fool, waiting for however long in hopes that you might decide to accept it? What if that never happens?"
"I'm not saying it'll never happen, I'm just saying that I need some time." He stopped walking, nodded and remained silent for a long while that felt like forever to her. "How can you expect me to blindly leap into a soul-consuming bond with a man I was taught to hate who can't even tell me he loves me?"
"If you'd take the time to put in the effort in strengthening the bond again, you would not need me to say those words. You would simply know it." he said coolly.
"Well, maybe I still need to hear it!" she said angrily. "You said so yourself that you failed me by not telling me how you really felt. I am warning you right now, you are in danger of failing me yet again, just because you can't say a simple statement."
"If it is such a simple statement, then why does it matter that much?" he asked.
"Because I need to hear It." she argued.
He looked her over again, long and hard as he considered her words. "If I say that, will you be willing to work on the bond?"
She shook her head and shrugged. "I don't know, it couldn't hurt, right? It would sure make me feel more confident."
"That still is not good enough." He said and continued to walk away from her again.
"Wait!" she called to him. "Please don't go, just give me some more time! Please, Vegeta?"
"Begging does not suit you." He replied tonelessly hoping and praying that she would not start crying; he could not stand it when she cried and knew that if she did, it would crack his remaining resolve to do this. As it was, he was very close to giving in and staying to give her a chance. But if he did that, would she still continue to evade the issue? What would giving her more time accomplish other than lead him down a further abyss of misery?
"Where will you go?" she asked.
He stopped to humor her and shrugged. "Likely back to my home. I will finally take my rightful place."
"Will you be back?" she asked after another long pause.
"Why would I come back?" he snorted. "There is nothing here for me."
"What about your son?"
"I thought you did not want me to be a part of his life." He replied dryly. "Kakarott will help train him. You may or may not teach him of his heritage. It is up to you. I will not insist."
"Wow." She said shaking her head at him. "So just like that. You're just going to up and leave?"
"You leave me with little choice, Woman." He said softly before beginning to walk away from her again before his resolve to leave crumbled completely; in the last few moments he was trying to think up another excuse to stick around longer with hopes that she only needed a little more time but decided he could not endure any more. "Look after yourself and the boy; you'll both be safe here. That is all I ask of you." Were his final words before he took to the air and disappeared in a flash of blue and yellow following him.
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