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Equus	By : Deb Category: Gundam Wing/AC > Yaoi - Male/Male Views: 2855 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing, it belongs to Bandai, Sotsu and associated parties. I do own the equines though, please do not take them without permission. Written for pleasure not profit.

Chapter List
- 44
- 45
- 46
“Equus”
Chapter 45

“Had enough?” Heero asked as Duo stood back panting. Sweat slicked his bangs to his face and the knuckles on his hand were turning red.
“Yeah, I think that's enough for now,” Duo replied.
“Is your shoulder okay?” Heero questioned as he released the punching back and moved to where his lover was catching his breath.
“It's fine.” Duo had been careful not to put the shoulder under any stress, but that meant the one good arm did twice the work and put up with extra strain whilst he was taking his frustrations out on the punching bag.
“Hungry?” Heero was still cautious whilst speaking with Duo. He knew they had sorted out some of their issues, but there was a lot still to be discussed and worked out.
Duo's stomach gave a loud growl. “Errr, yeah.”
“Come on, I'll go make a belated lunch while you take a shower if you like?”
“Thanks.”
The pair headed into the cottage, Duo to the shower and Heero to the kitchen.
* * *
Once lunch was out of the way, Duo went up to the practice to see how Zechs was coping. The blonde vet was rostered on for surgery whilst Duo was on call out duty. He also wanted to catch up on those morning consults he'd missed and thank Zechs again for taking over for him.
Heero desperately needed to give the horses some work and once the dishes were done he made his way to the stables. Despite his hand being bandaged up, Heero could still use it to a point and he wasn’t about to let it stop him from working the equines.
Orion was the first horse he rode, opting to work the gelding in the paddock and practice shortening and lengthening the black's stride. With Orion's successes so far, it wouldn't be long before he would be upgraded again and that meant tougher jumping courses. If the black was to reach his full potential he would need further education on the 'flat'.
Once he'd finished with Orion, Heero saddled up Lunar and gave the mare a solid workout over the jumping grid. She may not have the same potential as Orion, but she was a handy mare and would continue to improve. Finishing with Lunar, Heero grabbed a quick coffee, noting Duo still absent from the cottage, although his car was still parked up. Checking his watch, Heero figured he had enough time to give Wing some basic work over the grid before saddling up Shini and taking the gray out for a bush ride.
By the time Heero returned, dusk was beginning to settle in and he had to switch on the lights to see what he was doing. Frank had obviously been whilst he had been out on his ride as Jester was all rugged up and in his stable. Frank obviously hadn't fed him as it wouldn't have been fair to the other horses for them to remain out in the paddocks whilst Jester ate.
June's car was parked out in the parking area but there wasn't any sign of the woman in the stables. Heero led Shini inside and tied him up by his stable door. Quickly he removed the saddle and bridle, giving the gray a light brush over. Just as he was about to put Shini's rug on, June appeared in the entrance leading Orion and Angel.
“Hey, Heero,” she greeted as she led the two horses in and put Angel in her stable first. “I thought you must have been out on a ride and I wasn't sure how long you were going to be. Time was getting on so I thought I'd get a start on bringing this lot in for you.”
“Thanks, June but you really don't have to do that. It's not your job, you're a paying client,” Heero replied as he secured Shini's rug.
“So what. I like to help out and I enjoy it. I know I don't have to do it, I like to so please, let me?”
Heero chuckled. “Okay, you win.” Heero could tell that June sincerely enjoyed being with the horses and seeing how she was pregnant and not able to ride, the next best thing was for her to help out and he wasn't about to take that away from her – providing she was careful.
“I'll go get Lunar if you want?”
“Thanks. I'll just put Shini in and come get Zero and Wing.” Bolting Shini's door, Heero grabbed a couple of lead ropes and walked back out to the paddocks with June. “Do you know if Duo has treated Nataku yet?” he asked.
“I think so. I didn't see Duo myself, but Nataku wasn’t in her paddock when I got here so I assumed that Duo had her up at the surgery stables. She's back in her paddock now though. I'll fetch her in once I've put Lunar away.”
Heero nodded and stopped at Zero's gate. The gray was waiting eagerly for him and rubbed his muzzle against his master's chest while Heero clipped the lead rope to the halter ring.
With June helping, it didn't take long for all the horses to be brought in, rugs changed and feeds put into feed bins. Even Nataku hadn't tried to evade being caught as much as she usually did with anyone other than Heero, Duo or Wufei. Checking the stable doors were all bolted, Heero stepped out and walked June to her car. June inquired about his hand and he filled her in on what Doctor Po had said and done. She also asked after Duo. Heero giving her a brief update without going into details. Saying good night, Heero waved the woman good bye and went back to the cottage to start on dinner as Duo would be in the middle of consults.
*
“That's the last one, Doctor Maxwell,” Catherine informed when Duo placed the last client file in the 'window'.
“Okay, thanks.” Duo returned to the consulting room and began to clean it up as best he could. With the strapping now a little on the lighter side, he was able to use his sore shoulder a touch more and that made life a lot easier for him. By the time he'd finished cleaning up, Zechs had also finished with his client and cleaned his consulting room as well. The blonde took his leave, having arranged a dinner date with Treize, leaving Duo and Catherine alone in the practice.
Hanging his white coat up on the back of the door, Duo took a deep breath and turned to face the receptionist. He needed to apologize for his behavior yesterday. “Catherine?”
“Yes, Doctor Maxwell?”
“I want to apologize for my behavior yesterday. I had no right to take my temper out on either you or Hilde. I shouldn't have lost it in the first place,” he sighed and ran his fingers through his bangs.
“That's quite all right, Duo. Hilde and I both understand you're going through a difficult time right now; actually, I'm surprised you haven't lost your temper before this, you have every right too.”
“No, I don't. Well, I do, but not at my friends. Anyway, I just wanted to say I'm sorry and it won't happen again.”
“Thank you, Duo, apology accepted. Now, don't think anymore of it, it's in the past so let's forget about it, okay?”
“You're too kind,” Duo muttered.
“I don't know about that,” Catherine chuckled. “I'd prefer to think of it as being friends, and part of being friends is being able to forgive and forget.”
“Either way, Thanks.”
Catherine gave her boss a warm smile and turned back to Nrobbuts to finish loading the client files from the consults to the data base. Ten minutes later they were finished, Duo locking the practice and waving Catherine off. Feeling tired, Duo made his way back to the cottage where something delicious could be smelt on the air.
*
How was consults?” Heero asked when Duo stepped inside the cottage.
“Not bad, the usual run of vaccinations, boosters, a couple of micro chippings, stitching job and general health checks. Did you manage to work the nags?”
“Hai. I worked all but Shini in the paddock and took him out for a bush ride. Dinner's almost ready if you want to wash up?”
“Okay.” Duo went through to the bathroom and washed his hands and face. He took a look at himself in the mirror and sighed. His eyes were no longer red or swollen from his earlier breakdown, which was just as well considering the consults he'd done. Last thing he needed was for his clients to be probing further with what could be wrong – it was enough that they were already asking him if he was okay. Luckily they didn't question any further when he'd informed them he'd had a restless night. He looked pale, tired and drawn and that had backed his replies when questioned. He sincerely hoped he would be able to sleep better tonight. Drying his face and hands, he walked back out to the kitchen where Heero was plating their dinner. “Smells good.”
“It's just a Beef Stroganoff,” Heero replied and set their plates on the table, taking his seat opposite Duo.
As they ate they talked more on their visit to Jay and what each one of them had gotten out of it. Jay's words had helped them both a lot and they planned on heeding the doctor's advice as much as possible. Once dinner was over with, Duo did the dishes as best he could whilst Heero took his shower. Duo had his shower while Heero made coffee and dried the clean dishes and put them away. They retired to the lounge room to watch some television, each man doing his best to relax.
“I'm sorry I didn't stop to think before attacking Stefan,” Heero said softly, feeling the need to apologize again for his behavior. “You had every right to be angry with me. I promise, I won't ever do anything like that again, Duo.”
The soft words touched Duo's heart and he gave a sigh. “I'm sorry too, Heero. I shouldn't have lost my temper with you like that. I do know you were only trying to protect me, but I need to be able to stand up for myself, not have everyone else doing it for me. I shouldn't have given you the cold shoulder treatment either, that was very petty of me.”
“I deserved it, but it did hurt. I love you so much, Duo that I just want to wrap you up in my arms and keep you safe from everyone and everything,” Heero admitted.
“I know and whilst I appreciate it, you have to let me live too, Heero. I guess now you know how I feel at times when you're out there risking your neck in a jump off.”
“Huh?”
“All I want to do is whisk you away, keep you safe by my side. I'm terrified at times that you're going to have another, nasty fall and seriously hurt yourself. I know it isn't quite the same thing as your protection of me, but it's similar.”
Heero chewed on Duo's words for a moment. “I see what you mean,” he said. “I'd never really thought about it like that before.”
“I never expected you too either,” Duo smiled. “But there is no way I would ever expect you to give up showjumping. I respect your decisions and trust you to know your limits and keep yourself safe for me.”
“The least I can do is extend that same courtesy to you when it comes to looking after yourself,” Heero whispered. Duo nodded. “I'll still feel much better about it all if you let me teach you some martial arts moves though,” Heero insisted.
“Agreed,” Duo chuckled.
“Does this mean I'm forgiven?”
“Of course.”
“Good.” Heero slipped along the couch a little until he was pressed against Duo's side. He slid an arm around his lover's shoulders and pulled Duo closer to him. Duo dropped his head to rest upon Heero's shoulder and let a contented sigh slip out. Heero ran his hand gently up and down Duo's arm, caressing the warm flesh. His lips gravitated towards the top of Duo's head and Heero gently pressed a kiss to the crown of chestnut. Duo snuggled a little closer. The soft touches continued for a while, each man just savoring the moment of being close to each other.
After a few minutes, Duo shifted slightly and raised his head. He stared intently into piercing blue before closing the gap and sealing their lips in a kiss. It was soft and languid, neither person asking for more, simply content to share whatever was gifted. Duo pulled back a touch when air became necessary, but he didn't move far. He continued to press small kisses against Heero's jaw before nibbling lightly on Heero's bottom lip.
The rider began to lose himself in the pleasure he was being gifted. Duo's mouth felt wonderful against his own and even better against the skin of his jaw. He couldn't help the groan that bubbled from him when Duo commenced nibbling on his bottom lip. Somehow he managed to twist them around so Duo was completely in his arms. Whilst Duo was occupied by kissing him, Heero carefully worked his arms further around his lover and eased Duo into his lap.
Oblivious to what Heero was doing, Duo simply lost himself in the moment and enjoyed the soft kisses; they were soothing to his soul and he welcomed them. Heero's arms around him made him feel secure and Duo was content to remain where he was forever if he could.
The languid kisses soon deepened, Heero's tongue pushing forth, Duo's mouth opening and allowing the intrusion. Slick muscle danced with its counterpart, sensitive spots were rediscovered and explored over and over again. The kisses were having an affect on Heero, one that he wasn't paying a whole lot of attention to.
The kisses changed yet again, becoming more sensual as each man relaxed. Gradually Heero felt himself beginning to stir, his nether regions hardening and from habit he began to push his hips up. With Duo sitting in his lap Heero's hardness pressed against Duo's backside, a groan of pleasure coming from Heero's mouth as his cock found a small measure of friction with the action.
Instantly Duo froze.
The moment Duo froze, Heero realized what he'd done. “Oh, god, Duo. I'm so sorry,” Heero apologized and stilled his movement, his erection dwindling rapidly as the shock of what he was doing set in to his pleasure filled mind.
Duo had gone as white as a sheet, his body began to tremble and his eyes had a vacant look in them.
“Duo? Duo, are you all right?” Heero asked a touch worried. He looked carefully at his partner and noted the state his lover was in. Shit! “Duo? It's okay, Duo, it's just me, Heero. You're safe, at home with me.” Heero did his best to pull Duo from his shocked state. He let his arms loosen, afraid that Duo might feel trapped, but he gently ran a hand up and down his partner's back, soothing and trying to bring his lover back from where his mind had decided to hide.
The push of Heero's erection against his backside set triggers firing in Duo's head. The room around him faded away to be replaced with the walls and benches of the drug room. The arms holding him were there to stop him from running, the voice replaced with one that called him several obscenities. Whore, slut, cock tease were just some of the words that flashed through Duo's mind. Subconsciously he began to struggle.
“No, stop,” Duo cried out and pushed away from Heero.
Immediately, Heero opened his arms and allowed Duo to move away from him, his heart tore at the terrified look in his lover's eyes and he again tried to get Duo's focus back on the here and now. “It's okay, Duo. It's me, Heero. No one is going to hurt you.”
As soon as those arms relaxed, Duo bolted, scuffling his way across the couch until he was wedged in the corner. Despite the terror running through his blood, the soft, soothing voice penetrated his mind.
“It's me, Heero. I'm not going to hurt you, Duo. I love you, Duo, come back to me,” Heero coaxed gently.
“H – Heero?” Duo croaked out, his eyes beginning to clear along with his mind.
“Hai, Duo; it's me, Heero.”
Violet began to focus, Duo's mind giving up the illusion and as his vision settled he was once again back in his own lounge room with a scared Heero looking at him. “Heero?”
“Are you okay now?”
Duo shook his head. “I – I don't know..”
“Oh, Duo, I'm so sorry. I didn't think, didn't realize...” Heero's words were cut off as Duo scrambled back along the couch and into Heero's arms.
“Just hold me, please?” Duo whispered.
Wrapping his arms around the trembling form, Heero pulled his lover close and buried his face in Duo's hair. Duo's head was tucked under his chin, the vet shaking slightly as he tried to clear his head of the memories. “I'm sorry, Duo. I shouldn't have done that, I didn't think.”
“It's okay, Heero. It's not your fault. I guess...” Duo took a hiccuping breath, “It brought back horrible memories,” he said softly.
Knowing that nothing he could say right now would ease Duo's torment, Heero simply held his lover close and rocked him gently in his arms until Duo's trembling ceased. Heero was angry at himself, annoyed for letting his pleasure take over from common sense; he could really do with thumping that punching bag right about now.
As Duo calmed, so his mind cleared and he was able to think properly again. He eased back in Heero's arms a touch and thought long and hard before speaking. “Heero? We need to talk.”
Heero nodded, keeping his arms secure around Duo but shifting slightly so Duo could raise his head and they could look into each others eyes. “I know, I'm so sorry.”
“Heero, I don't blame you and I don't want you blaming yourself either, what happened was unintentional on your part, I know that. I'll be honest, this... the attack, it's all still very raw...”
“Duo, I really should have known better,” Heero interrupted.
Duo reached up and pressed a finger over Heero's lips. “Please, let me talk. I don't know if what I say will make a whole lot of sense, but I need to try and explain.”
Nodding, Heero relaxed back into the couch. Jay had told him that Duo would be vulnerable for some time. He'd also warned Heero that sex in any form right now wasn't advised, in fact, he'd suggested that Heero avoid initiating anything of a sexual nature, rather he let Duo tell him when he was ready for intimacy again and when he was, to let Duo set the pace.
He'd well and truly fucked that up.
Jay also said that at some stage Duo would possibly want to talk about things, what happened to him, where their relationship was going, his fears and hopes. It looked like that time was about to happen in some form.
Taking a deep breath, Duo began to talk. “Please don't think you have done anything wrong, you haven't. Right now though I can't help but relive the memory of that... “ Duo swallowed hard, “That asshole and his hands upon me, his dick where it – you get the idea,” Duo whispered. “I want to forget about it, I want to make it all go away, but it won't. Heero, I love you and I want to still be with you in every respect of a relationship. Part of me wants you to take me to bed, to make love to me, wipe out all the negativity from him; but as soon as I feel anything remotely sexual coming from you I can't help but tense up as those horrible thoughts come back. I want you to help me forget, but my mind refuses to cooperate. Does any of that make any sense?”
“Strangely enough, it does, Duo.” the words hadn't been quite what Heero had expected, but it did give him a much clearer understanding as to what his lover was experiencing both mentally and physically.
“I'm scared, Heero,” Duo whispered.
“You don't have to be scared of me, Duo. I'd never do anything intentionally to hurt you,” Heero comforted.
“I know you wouldn't and that's not quite what I meant. I'm scared that I won't be able to overcome this, that every time we try to be intimate these memories will surface and ruin it for me.” Duo paused for a moment and buried his face against Heero's chest before mumbling, ”I'm scared that you will leave me.”
“Never,” Heero stated firmly. He coaxed Duo's head away from his chest and made eye contact. “I won't ever leave you, Duo. I'm here for as long as you'll have me. I know what you went through is traumatic and it will take time and patience for you to get over it. I'm not in this relationship for the sex, Duo, although I'd be lying if I said it wasn't an added bonus. I'm in this relationship because I love you, Duo. I care very deeply for you and I want to share the rest of my life with you. It doesn't bother me if we're never intimate again...”
“You can't deny that you enjoy the sex, Heero. What if I can never face doing anything sexual with you ever again?” Duo asked. He knew his words were blunt and probably hurt Heero, but he had to be honest here.
“I won't deny that I enjoy sex with you, Duo, it's always great, but I can live without sex; I can't live without you.”
With Heero's soft words all that they had gone through these past few days ran through Duo's head. Finally he began to understand the depth of Heero's love for him. He'd abused Heero, lost his temper with him, been short and down right nasty at times, and yet Heero had still been there for him, kept coming back and holding him, soothing his tortured soul and – caring.
“I don't deserve you,” Duo cried and did his best to cuddle closer to Heero.
“Duo, if I could marry you, I would in a heartbeat.”
“Unfortunately, same sex marriages aren't legal.”
“I know, but we could always have our own, private ceremony. I don't need to have a priest or all that other fancy stuff including the paperwork to say I'm hopelessly in love and devoted to you.”
“Heero, you say the sweetest things,” Duo replied. “I'm totally in love with you too.”
“Duo, even though it isn't legal and not recognized by the law, would you do me the greatest honor?” Heero swallowed. “Duo, would you marry me?”
Duo thought his chest would explode with the amount of love he felt for Heero at that point. His throat constricted and tears formed in the corner of his eyes. “I – I don't know what to say,” he managed to breathe out, the shock of Heero's proposal knocking him for six.
“Just say yes?”
“Yes.”
Heero leaned close and took Duo's lips in a soft and tender kiss, a kiss borne of love, hope and devotion. “We can discuss plans later, once all this has sunk in,” he said softly.
“Good idea. I really don’t think I'm up to much in the thinking department right now,” Duo chuckled lightly.
Heero smiled, a genuine, from the heart smile and simply held Duo close.
* * *
Both men slept much better that night and awoke refreshed to a day that promised to be fine if a little on the cool side. Heero put the horses out and fed them, completing his stable work before returning to the cottage to find that Duo had managed to make breakfast for them both. As they ate they discussed the usual mundane things, neither man really wanting to bring up the topic that was foremost in their minds.
“What are your plans for today?” Duo asked, biting into a piece of toast.
“I'm hoping to set up a new course and give Wing some work over it. Lunar and Orion could both benefit from a break so I'll take them for a bush ride a little later. Shini can have some flat work and Frank is coming later this afternoon for his lesson. Did you want to check Nataku's leg before you start consults?”
“Yeah, I will if you don't mind bringing her up to the surgery stables after breakfast.”
“No problem.”
Once breakfast was done with, Heero went to fetch the bay, Duo put the dishes in the sink to wash later and headed off to get his things ready.
“It's looking much better now. The swelling has completely gone so we can cut the bute back to once a day for the next three days then every second day for three days. The wound has healed up nicely and the stitches can come out in another four to five days. I'll keep it covered until then though.” Duo applied a fresh bandage and checked the rest of the mare over. “Everything else has or is healing up just fine.”
“Wufei will be happy.”
“I'm sure he will be. I'd say you're going to have your hands full though once you put her back into work.”
“I think so too,” Heero chuckled. “The way Wufei has been spoiling her lately she's not going to want to give up the invalid status easily.”
“Okay, all done.”
“Thanks, Duo. You off to consults now?”
Duo nodded in the affirmative.
“I'll meet you in the cottage for lunch?”
“Yeah.”
“Duo? Try not to think about it.”
Duo sighed. “It's not going to be easy, but I'll try.”
Heero pressed a kiss to his lover's lips. “I'll see you for lunch.”
*
The morning passed rapidly for Duo, consults were busy and he managed okay even with the restriction to his arm. Catherine offered to come in to help him where necessary and also with any of the larger, male clients if Duo felt uncomfortable. Before Duo knew it, he was handing over the last client file and it was twelve-thirty.
Catherine and Zechs had finished up and preparing to leave for their own lunches. Zechs would return at two for the two cat spays they had booked in and Catherine had offered to help if he needed her to. Duo was on call and checked he had his pager on him. The other two wished him all the best and made him promise to let them know once he did what the outcome of the preliminary hearing was.
Entering the cottage, Duo found Heero already there and a plate of sandwiches sitting on the kitchen table. Heero was just pouring them both a coffee.
“Perfect timing,” Heero said and carried the mugs to the table. He took his seat opposite Duo and reached for a sandwich. “Come on, Duo. You need to eat,” he said.
“I don't know if I can,” Duo replied honestly. His stomach was full of butterflies and every sound made him jump.
“The hearing isn't until one and I'm sure we will hear from Sergeant Williams around one-thirty. Please, try to eat something.”
“I”m afraid if I do, I'll end up bringing it back,” Duo replied ruefully.
“At least if you eat something and are sick you'll have something in your stomach to bring up and not just bile,” Heero teased.
“Thanks a lot, I think.” Duo reached for a sandwich and began to eat. Heero did his best to keep Duo's mind occupied by telling him about Wing's antics over the new course he'd set up. It worked for a short while, Duo taking an interest in the youngster's education, or rather his attempts to get out of his education.
Just as Heero was about to get up and clear away the used dishes, the phone rang. Both men turned to look in the direction of the lounge room.
“I think that will be Williams,” Heero said quietly with a glance at the clock. It was one-twenty.
“Guess I should answer it,” Duo stated and slowly got up. He shuffled through to the lounge room, part of him wanting to answer the phone, the other part telling him to run for the hills.
“Maxwell Veterinary Practice. Doctor Maxwell speaking.”
Heero followed his lover into the lounge room and waited off to the side. He watched his lover carefully as he spoke with the person on the other end, but was unable to tell what was going on by Duo's short words. Moments later Duo was hanging up.
Turning to look at Heero, Duo could see the question burning in those clear, blue eyes. He took a deep breath and locked gazed with his lover. When his voice came out he was surprised it was as clear and steady as it was.
“Stefan pleaded not guilty.”
~ * ~
tbc...
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Equus