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Prologue
By : Herpb4uDerp
Category: Missing Data > Missing Data
Views: 194 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
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Goku's mind is immediately choked with feelings. All of them deep, dark and intense. There is so much anger and hatred it is hard to break through to the painful memories underneath. When he finally does he is accompanied by a strong sense of fear belonging to his son.

Goku knows what he's looking for is here, but he doesn’t know where. So he starts at the beginning. He starts with the string of yelling matches turned violent fights with Vegeta that began after his disappearance.

They are violent because of Goten. He starts every single one of them and only sometimes did Vegeta indulge him when he absolutely had to. Eventually there is a shift. The fights are regimented, scheduled and Vegeta has full control over which techniques Goten will try and use.

"Stop hitting from your shoulder or next time I will shatter it. Throw using your body, that is where your power comes from." Vegeta demonstrates and Goten is left reeling. "You want to be better than him, don't you?" Goten nods, "Then learn how to fight better. You are not even half the fighter he was." Goten is only nine and it is the first time since his father left that Vegeta has compared them. Vegeta doesn’t mean it. In fact he regrets it. He even offers his hand but it's too late. The words have already had their effect. Goten smacks Vegeta’s hand away and takes his advice seriously. His next hit is clean and powerful.

Between Goten’s constant fighting with Vegeta there are flashes of painful heated arguments at home with Gohan and Chi Chi.

Goku remembers being so close with Goten when he was little and it is agonizing to see how devastated he is by Goku's sudden absence. Arguments at home are common, so is running away to Trunks’ room. But soon there are far more memories of Goten alone in the wasteland or alone in a small but furnished guest room at Capsule Corp.

A door creaks open and Trunks’ voice calls out. “Ten? Is that you? I felt your ki but I thought you went ho-”

"Can I stay here another day? I hate-" a fourteen year old Goten tries to hold back tears in a dark room with his knees hugged to his chest, "I hate going home” He begins to break down. “All my mom does… is talk about-”

“Yeah, forget about her." he rests his hand on his shoulder, “I found something cool the other day that’ll cheer you up, wanna see it?”

Goten straightens up a little just before any tears have had the chance to fall, “Yeah.”

There are a lot snapshots of him and Trunks and those seem fairly happy at first, even though they're getting into so much trouble... But it becomes clear they are both just looking for ways to escape the pain and grief they are surrounded by in their homes. Vegeta didn’t intentionally ignore his children but it was clear even through Goten’s memories that he didn’t know how to deal with loss any better than they did.

Goku watches a sixteen year old Goten sneak into a hospital from a window and shake a Trunks awake. Goku cringes as Trunks sits up suddenly and fearlessly rips an IV out of his arm, "Euch, I can still taste the fuckin’ charcoal-” He looks at Goten with a wide grin, “What time is it? Where’ve you been? You let me stay here all night? Dude!"

He shrugs, “That girl you failed to impress had a brother.”

Trunks scoffs, “Fuck, that puts you ahead by twelve now.”

“Well maybe if you stopped getting so wasted you died every time someone said they didn’t wanna hear about Capsule Corp’s boring projects, you could keep up.” He snorts.

Trunks rolls his eyes, tugs on a pair of pants and heads toward the window with one last look to make sure the coast is clear, “Whatever man. Let's get out of here before they try to do an MRI or somethin’.”

“That shit makes your ki feel weird too? I destroyed the machine last time they tried to do one on me.”

Trunks laughs, “Dude, overkill much?”

“Ah, well you know me. I couldn’t help it.” And they jump out the window.

As he gets older he stays more and more at Capsule Corp until eventually after a brief flash of a shattering plate and Chi Chi crying, mount Paozu disappears entirely from the memories that were becoming more and more punctuated by the way Goten looked at any dark haired guy who walked by with a little bit of muscle and sometimes even by the way he looks at Vegeta. Especially on hot summer days when he wears a particular pair of blue compression shorts.

Goku didn’t like that at all and it bothered him for both reasons that were easy to name, like jealousy, and deeply troubling ones that weren’t. But he’s… raising you. And… so much older than you… and you… can’t even stand each other. The only thing you have in common is fighting and…

me.

The looks more and more often turn into hot heated moments in dark clubs, darker rooms. ...How... many...? Goku can't count the number of different faces in different beds and from they way those memories begin to blur together, it becomes apparent his son doesn't know either.

Goku can feel the continual lack of satisfaction from it all. No matter how many men, or how much alcohol, or how many fights, it doesn’t matter. Nothing is enough. Goten always needs more. More, more, more, more. ‘More what?’ Goku asks and he hears his son respond in confused desperation, trying to push him out of his head,

'I don't know! I DON'T KNOW! I just need more SOMETHING! GET OUT!'

He refuses, presses forward, and watches as Goten increasingly struggles with not knowing what to do to break through the endless cycle of instant gratification being immediately followed by bitter emptiness. Goku watches him get more frustrated as every one night stand gets rougher. He watches his son's disconcerting dependence on Vegeta as an outlet for his anger and frustration become more and more pronounced. He watches as his son's desire for strength begins clashing more regularly with his ability to keep control over his temper and thus his power. He'd always had a hard time with that but now it was interfering with the most basic of tasks, even-

Another memory. A flash of Vegeta. Asleep. Goten is... just watching him. The memory is quick, hardly more than an instant, but Goku is able to catch the only thing that matters. He knows what Goten heard and it is followed by a sudden, dramatic shift inside Goten's head. There is a loud flood of angry noise that momentarily disrupts Goku’s concentration.

Then a strange dark feeling of envy envelopes Goku as he tries to push past the noise now distorting not just the memories but the echo of Goten’s internal voice.

Vegeta...

Every time Goku reaches for a memory now it is pulled away or so full of noise he can’t quite make out what he’s supposed to be looking at. Goku is suddenly very aware that Goten is trying to block something from him.

...wants my father? But Vegeta hates my father! I hate my father! How could he- No, WHY would he-

Then the anger and noise is muted as something mischievous works its way through Goten's mind and Goku can feel how hard his son is trying to hold it back before it snaps free. The warped reverberating thoughts make the hair on the back of Goku's neck stand on end and it finally begins to click in place what Vegeta meant by, "You don't know what he's capable of."

You have no idea, Vegeta, how well this might work out for both of us .

Another memory surfaces amidst the noise and Goku doesn't understand what he's looking at. Myself? He is flexing in the mirror, wearing his gi. No, wait, Gohan is next to m- is that Goten? He is genuinely stunned by the resemblance he has denied almost as vehemently as Goten until now.

Goku doesn’t have time to reflect long as he is abruptly roughly pushed forward through the memories until he is suddenly met by an argument between Vegeta and Goten over... my gi? He watches Vegeta launch at Goten and begin hitting him relentlessly, all while shouting at him, threatening to kill him. He doesn't understand where this is coming from. Vegeta has never started a fight with Goten. ‘What’s going on? Why are you fighting over that?’

Goten’s voice comes through clearly, ‘He was- It was- isn’t it obvious?! Don’t be stupid, dad! He was mad at me for keeping it!’ but still desperate as Goku delves deeper for the missing part.

‘No.’ Goku responds. ‘Vegeta isn’t like that... You’re hiding something else.’

‘Stop, STOP! Look. He is! Look what he did to me. Get out. Get OUT! GET OUT! GET-’

But Goku hears the name “Kakarot” being called over and over again from somewhere far away and it catches his attention. He searches and searches, but it is buried deep. Goten is trying to repress it, trying to pull it away from him. It is only with a persistence he usually reserved for training and a concentration he strictly used for meditation that he is able to finally grab onto the memory and hold it in his mind.

Goten is sitting in the corner of a dark room that Goku recognizes as Vegeta’s. ‘What... are you doing here?’ He watches Vegeta stumble in and all but pass out on the bed. There is a long pause. Then Goten gets up and Vegeta does too.

Goku listens and watches carefully as Vegeta mistakes Goten for himself and throws a sloppy punch into his sons face that his son really should have seen coming. Goku almost wants to laugh because that is exactly the response he expected to receive when Vegeta saw him. Goten was wrong. He hasn’t changed at all.

The urge to laugh evaporates though, as he watches Vegeta fail to realize who is in front of him; as he watches Vegeta begin to shout angrily, openly clearly drunk about things he never meant to tell Goten.

He watches, through Goten's eyes, as his son's hand reach towards Vegeta’s face in a more than friendly gesture. He watches as Vegeta suddenly gets that look. The one he always got after they argued and he doesn't understand why his son... did that. Why he doesn’t... say something because this was starting to get very very uncomfortable. ‘Why are you- Goten- What-’ He watches as Vegeta pushes his son back onto the bed with a smirk and he watches as Goten panics, second guesses himself. Goku can feel his desperation to escape untill-

"Don't worry... Kakarot...." The words seem to drag out for an eternity as Vegeta leans in close.

And then all the apprehension melts away. Goten relaxes and he lets Vegeta….

‘No, No! Vegeta, stop! Goten! STOP! That's not-! This isn't real! This isn’t REAL! Vegeta would never-’ The memory doesn’t disappear, but it is put backseat as Goten’s laugh interrupts.

‘Kakarot, Kakarot, Kakarot. What's so fucking great about Kakarot.’ Goku can hear the sneer in his son's voice as it echos around him. ‘You are a giant gullible idiot who let Vegeta walk all over you. Just look at the way he fucks m- ...you. He used you. ...Pathetic. So fucking pathetic!’

Goku is silent as he watches the night unfold before him with Goten’s unpleasant narration.

‘And it just blows my fucking mind that you let this go on for… how many years? I mean really, dad, what did you think was going to come of this? Especially now that he's had me.’ Goten snorts.

Goku tries to shut out his son's thoughts but the panting and sighing surrounding him isn't any less painful to hear.

‘You're- you're wrong! And you’re-!’ He struggles to find the words that can begin to describe the disgusted angry shock washing over him.

‘Are you sure? He even said it himself, didn’t he? Oh look. I love this part.’ Goku watches as Vegeta bites deeply into Goten’s shoulder, ‘You really must be a masochist. Don’t worry though, I got him back for you.’

Just as Vegeta begins slowly begin lapping at the blood, pressing his mouth and lips to the wound in a way that was far from cruel Goten yanks hard on Vegeta’s hair. Vegeta growls out in anger, “AH-! What the hell, Kakarot?!” and pins Goten’s wrists above his head. He scowls and breathes heavily over Goten for a few moments and Goku can see the confusion and slight betrayal on his face because that’s something Goku never would have done. It wasn’t a rule. It was just something he knew Vegeta hated.

Goku stutters and tries to pull away from the memory, but Goten has decided, maybe this will work. He has given up on resisting the unwanted presence in his head so he can instead exploit it in his favor. He tries to draw his father’s attention to another moment, one that will really twist the knife into the injury.

A slew of filthy words exit Goten’s mouth provoking a shocked slurring Vegeta to ask, "Kakarot, where the fuck did you learn to curse like that?” Goku is forced to listen as Goten smartly replies,

"Ah, from you. Mm-" Vegeta laughs while Goten encourages him with a casual buck of his hips to fuck him harder. "I learned everything from you." Vegeta palms the blood on Goten's face and takes him up on his encouragement.

‘Especially how best to hate my father.’ Goten’s voice rings clear in his head and he laughs while Goku thinks he's going to be sick. ‘Is he always like that? I didn't even know we could go Super Saiyan during sex! What a climax, isn’t it? I’m just assuming that you know.’

Goku is struggling to maintain the connection. As if the ocean of hatred and pain inside Goten wasn't enough, he is now having difficulty controlling his own emotions which were suddenly many. Anger, betrayal, jealousy, fury, rage everything… his son had felt for so long fell into his own chest faster than he could respond to it.

‘...But he thought you were- That's why- he knows you- you tricked him! He knows! ...You deserved-!’

‘Yeah.... no, it's a shame I didn’t burn it sooner, but... I really thought I was going to have the chance to use it again.’ Goten says with mocking cruelty.

‘Again?! Ag- Goten! That was-! It was ra-’

‘I know exactly what it was!’ He says darkly. ‘It was revenge. Revenge on you. Revenge on him. On everyone who thinks I'm exactly like you! I finally got something I wanted on your behalf besides constant reminders about how I look exactly like the person I hate the most. And let me tell you, dad, It. Felt. Phenomenal. ...Do you know what the best part is? Do you?’ Goku doesn't respond, ‘I don't even like Vegeta. I hate him almost as much as I hate you. He's just hot. And powerful . And I used him. Exactly like he used y-’

That was it. That was the last straw. Goku breaks the connection and he breaks it painfully.
Goten can hear his father's screaming in his head. Louder and louder until everything begins to crack and shake, coming in and out of focus, giving him the most agonizing wave of dizziness, but the hold was beginning to slip and he is finally able to regain his bearings enough to rip his father's hand away with a startled cry.

When he comes back to reality he is still reeling from the pain in his body and his head. He is still questioning if what had just happened was really possible. He is still not quite sure what just happened as he comes back to staring directly up at the face of his father who had nothing more to say to him.

Goten begins to struggle but Goku doesn't give him the chance to get free. He was far more in control of his faculties and he takes full advantage of it as he lifts up Goten’s arm, snaps something on his wrist, stands, looks down at his son, presses two fingers to his forehead and disappears.
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A//N so the previous chapter, this chapter and the next chapter are my absolute favorites in the entire story. I'm going to try and double post this weekend because I'm taking a hiatus unfortunately for an unknown amount of time and I want to try leave off in a good place for the time being. So keep your eyes peeled like potatoes. Also how was differentiating memory, dialogue and thought in this? It was challenging to try to differentiate as writer : hope ya'll could follow it as reader.
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- 46
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Prologue	By : Herpb4uDerp Category: Missing Data > Missing Data Views: 194 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer:

Prologue