Running Out Of Tomorrows | By : Naomi Category: Gundam Wing/AC > Yaoi - Male/Male Views: 1608 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0 |
Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing/AC, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story. |
RUNNING
OUT OF TOMORROWS
PART
FIVE
* * *
Confused, Duo turned to the
bed, wanting to ask Heero what happened.
Only the Japanese man wasn’t
there.
The bed was empty, the blanket
tossed aside and the pillow on the floor.
There was blood on the pillow.
Duo’s eyes widened.
“Heero!” He called, voice
panicked. He whirled around, his eyes scanning the room frantically. “Heero!!!”
But the young man was nowhere
in the room.
“Ah shit! Where did he go?!”
Duo muttered, throwing his bag to the floor.
“HEERO!” He shouted, beginning
to run out of the room, searching.
“Heero- where are you!? Heero!”
* AN HOUR EARLIER *
The pain was overwhelming. He
felt like he was burning from the inside. The fire was consuming his inner
organs, leaving him to lie helpless on the bed, in pure torment. He was hugging
his abdomen, sweat breaking over his pale skin. His eyes were shut tight, tears
clinging to his thick eyelashes. He bit his lip, nearly drawing blood, trying
his best to keep from crying.
But the pain was too much. It
wouldn’t let go. It burned and drilled holes inside him, swirling in the pits
of his stomach and leaving every nerve in agony as it moved about.
“...Duo...” A desperate
whisper escaped his lips, the sound of his voice barely making it over the pain
and torment. “...Duo...” He pleaded, half opening his glazed eyes. Only an
empty metal chair and a dirty yellow curtain answered him.
“Come back...” He whispered,
his blue eyes tearful. “Please...” He tried again, looking at the chair as if
it would help him. “I don’t want to die alone...”
He coughed and gagged,
spitting out blood. He winced at the sight of the bright red liquid, staining
his already dirty pillow. He groaned and shifted in the bed, trying to reach a
hand under the mattress. His mind was hazed with fever and disoriented from
pain. He was merely trying to bend down so he could look under the mattress,
but instead he ended up falling down. He reach frantically for his pillow, as
if it will somehow help him, but the cushion was of no help and they both fell
down to the floor.
Heero screamed, his body
tensing and shaking from the intense pain.
Minutes past, and Heero
simply lay there, drenched in wretched misery.
“I need it...” He mumbled all
of a sudden, barely aware of his lips forming the words. He felt as if his mind
is swimming in jelly, or covered by heavy fog. His blue eyes, glazed with pain
and fever, stared ahead numbly as he continued lying on the floor. “...need...
it...”
As if suddenly struck by
lightning, Heero began to struggle to get up. He somehow managed to pull
himself up to his knees, wincing in pain at every movement. Again he reached a
hand underneath the thin mattress, searching for something like a blind man
trying to find his way. He was panting hard and sweating until his clothes were
soaked with salty liquid, but he didn’t stop to rest until he found what he was
searching for. Managing a little smile of relief, Heero pulled out something
from under the mattress. It was a little, ragged, wallet.
His movements suddenly
frantic, he tore the wallet open and with trembling fingers he began searching
every little pocket. At last, he managed to produce a few rusted pennies out of
the wallet, and clutched them protectively in his fist.
Although dizzy and in great
pain, Heero got up to his feet. The room spun wildly around him and the fevered
heat in his body was rising with every single step. He coughed again, nearly
retching, and more droplets of blood were suddenly staining his chin and the
floor. He paid it no mind and staggered out of the room, clutching his pennies
close to his heart.
* * *
None of the nurses bothered
to rush the deathly ill patient back to his room as he stumbled past them. They
merely sent him a small glance and kept walking. One was kind enough to ask if
he needed any help, but his fevered mind did not register the words. It was set
on one, and only one, goal. He missed the odd looks he received from the nurse
as he kept walking, stumbling more like it, down the hospital halls.
One old doctor sent him a
criticizing look over his newspaper as the young Japanese man stumbled down on
his own two feet, crashing to the floor with a silent cry. When the doctor saw
that the young man was struggling tt upt up, he nodded in approval and returned
to his paper.
The pain was the only thing
that drove him now, the only thing that gave him a reason to go on. Panting
wildly, he pushed himself up and continued his journey- now crawling down the
hallway, for he had no strength left in him to walk. He looked up ahead,
relieved as he tha that he was nearing his destination. He coughed loudly, the
sound echoing through the silent and empty halls. At last, he neared the end of
the long corridor, where a few old vending machines stood. Relief washed over him
and he forced himself to keep going- just a little longer.
When he finally reached the
vending machine, he wasn’t even crawling anymore, but dragging his body on the
floor. The floor was cool and it felt like heaven to his fevered body. He collapsed
in front of the vending machine, resting his forehead on the cool floor, taking
a moment to rest.
The low hum of the vending
machine was his only company as he lay there, trying to find the strength to
move. After a long while, he coughed and forced his head to look up. He dragged
himself towards the vending machine, using it as support as he tried to get up
to his knees. He reached a trembling hand towards the slot and dropped his
pennies into the machine. The pain was still swirling inside him, moving in
circles as if warming itself up before it will come back with a vengeance.
Knowing that soon he will
fall into another brutal attack of pain, Heero moved faster, shoving the
pennies into the machine. The numbers on the digital counter climbed higher
with each penny, stopping at the figure of 2.95.
Heero froze.
“No...” He breathed, nearly
crying. He looked down at his hands, seeing that he had no more pennies left.
“No... no... no...”
The machine towered above
him, the black and white prices looking down at him in mockery. The lowest
price was $3.00.
“NO!” Heero cried, using all
that remained of his strength to punch the machine. He then collapsed down to
the floor, tears running down his cheeks as the pain began to intensify. He
looked around him, reached a hand under the machine, looking everywhere he
could for a few lost pennies. Perhaps Lady Luck would be kind enough to grave
him with one, miserable, penny, and help him out for once.
But he found none.
“Please...” He cried, curling
into a fetal position in front of the vending machine. “...please... it
hurts...” He whispered, but no one was there to hear him. His body convulsed in
pain, his skin breaking sweat. He hugged his stomach tightly, his eyes clenched
and leaking tears. As the fit of pain intensified, Heero began whimpering
quietly, banging his head against the floor in a useless attempt to stop the
pain.
“...Duo...”
* * *
Down in the cafeteria, the
braided young man was standing in front of the public vid-phone, waiting for
his call to connect.
* * *
“Hello sweetie. Are you
looking for your mommy?” A sweet looking and blonde secretary asked kindly as
she looked down, at the little six-year-old who was standing in front of her
desk, looking at her with large and uncertain blue eyes.
The little boy shook his
head, and sent a small glance at the door behind the secretary, and then back
at the young woman. “No, my mommy is inside with the lawyer.” He said,
shrugging. “They said that I could use the phone to call my daddy. I miss him
very much and he promised he’d call but he didn’t so I’m gonna call him
instead.”
The young woman smiled,
amused by the boy’s elaborated answer. He sure could talk, that one!
“Oh, why sure sweetie!” She said kindly, picking up the receiver. “Do you know
his number?”
The little boy grinned and
nodded his head. He pulled up his sleeve and the lady watched him, puzzled. She
chuckled as she saw that he had the phone number scribbled down on his forearm,
written in large and sloppy black letters. He read it to her out loud and she
punched it in. she frowned as she noticed something, and turned back to the
boy.
“Honey, this is a cell phone
number. Is he on the colony or somewhere else? I have to know in order to
connect the call.”
The little boy frowned.
“Uh... he’s in... uh... some other colony.”
“Do you know which one?”
“Uh...” the little boy
thought for a minute and then blew out air, pushing a few long chestnut bangs
out of his eyes. He then grinned wickedly and pulled up his other
sleeve. He looked back at the lady, showing her his arm.
Again she chuckled. “Ok,
that’s in the L7 area. Give me a minute and I’ll try to get the call
connected.”
The little boy smiled and
climbed to sit on the chair in front of the lady’s desk. He waited for the lady
to let him speak with his beloved father.
* * *
Somewhere, millions of
kilometers away, in a large and dirty room, a ring of a cell phone echoed. It
was coming from a simple brown paper bag, that was lying sprawled on the floor,
by an empty bed and a discarded pillow stained with blood.
It kept ringing for full ten
minutes, but no one was there to answer it.
* * *
From within the burning
clouds of acid pain, he was able to recognize a sound. Footsteps. They were
getting closer, walking towards him. He wasn’t sure if his eyes were open or
closed, so he tried to open them anyway. His vision was blurry and he had to
blink away the tears. His body still throbbed in pain, but he forced himself to
look up at the approaching figure.
He could see a pair of feet in
front of him, and he looked higher, trying to see if it was a man or a woman.
But his head refused to cooperate and slumped back down to the floor. Heero
sighed in defeat and settled on examining the shoes. But his mind was too dazed
and busy with absorbing the pain, so it was hard for him to reach any
conclusion.
“...please...” He finally
whispered, reaching a trembling hand towards the man’s (or woman’s?) feet.
“...just one quarter... please...” He pleaded, clutching onto the end of the
figure’s pants. “...it hurts so much...”
But the figure did not answer
and just kicked his hand away. Heero whimpered and let his hand drop down
limply to the floor.
His eyes widened as he heard
another coin being shoved into the slot, and he winced as he heard it drop and
clatter against the other coins, the ones he already put in.
“...no...” He whispered,
beginning to panic.
He could hear a button being
pressed.
“...it’s mine...” He mumbled,
his breath quickening from both pain and heartache.
A loud THUMP! and he knew that
the figure had received the package being dropped.
“No!” He shouted, his voice
hoarse. He made a finale attempt to grab the figure’s leg before it walked
away. “It’s mine! Please!” he called again, and then began to cough loudly.
The figure merely wiggled its
leg out of Heero’s hold and walked away, holding the small, cigarette-size,
package in its hand.
Heero remained lying on the
floor in front of the vending machine, his hand resting limply in front of him,
his eyes glazed over and tears shining on his cheeks.
“...please... it hurts...”
But the halls remained
silent.
“...it hurts so much...”
* * *
“Come on, Solo, we’re
leaving.” Hilde’s stern voice spoke up as the young woman walked out of the
lawyer’s office, and towards her son. The little boy was sitting on the
secretary’s desk, his legs dangling down the tall table. But unlike his usual
habits, the boy wasn’t swinging his legs back and forth or chatting happily.
Instead, his shoulders were slumped and his appearance downcast.
“Honey, come on.” His mother
urged him, coming to stand in front of him. The boy didn’t look up at her and a
worried frown appeared on her already worn features. “Solo? What’s wrong?” She
asked in concern.
The boy sniffled and shrugged
slightly. He sighed and hurried to wipe away the tears that formed in his
baby-blue eyes. He sniffled again. “Daddy didn’t answer again...”
A compassionate look covered
Hilde’s face. “Oh, honey...” She let out in sympathy, gathering the small boy
into her arms and picking him off the desk. She placed her palm on the back of
his head and gently guided the small head to rest on her shoulders. She turned
to kiss his sweet chestnut hair. “Honey, you know that daddy is very busy right
now.” She reminded him softly.
“No he’s not! He’s not even
working!” The little boy whined, wrapping his small arms around her beck and
crying silently into her shoulder. “He’s just with his stupid friend and he
won’t answer when I call and he probably didn’t buy me any presents but I don’t
care about that cuz I just want to talk to him but he doesn’t answer!” Solo let
out in a jumbled string of words, not taking the time to breathe and he was
panting when he finished.
His mother’s heart clenched
painfully at his hurting tone and tears of misery. She bent down to kiss her
son’s tears away and stroked his hair gently. “Shhh... don’t cry, Solo. Shhh...
don’t cry, little man... don’t cry...”
The nickname she had just
whispered only caused more tears to come, and now the boy was weeping miserably
in her arms. Nearly a week without seeing his beloved father and a few days
without hearing his loving voice and warm smile had taken their toll on the
little boy. He was suddenly filled with anxious feelings of fear and betrayal.
Little man... it seemed like
he wasn’t his father’s little man anymore...
Hilde rocked her son gently
in her arms, caressing his hair and soothing him. From behind her desk, the
secretary watched them in silence, a sympatric gaze in her eyes.
“Mrs. Harcourt says that you
should be here tomorrow morning to pick up the new documents.” She let out
quietly, feeling bad for having to disturb the pair.
Hilde nodded in
acknowledgement. “Thank you.” She said and then slowly turned around, and
walked out of the office, Solo still weeping in her arms.
“C’mon, baby. We’ll go home
and be there just in time to see the Jinx re-runs.”
The boy did not respond and
just tightened his hold around his mother. He didn’t want to see any re-runs
right now. All he wanted was his daddy!
* * *
“HEERO!”
A name was being called.
“Heero! Where are you!?”
The voice was familiar...
“HEERO!!!!”
Heero... who’s name was it?
Was it his..? Hard to think...
“Excuse me, nurse, did you
see my friend he’s—”
Friend..? Was he someone’s
friend..? Who..?
“HEERO! OH GOD!”
...Duo...
“Heero, are you all right?
What happened?”
Duo? He was really here?
With... with him? He really came...
“Say something, please!”
The pain was too much... he
had forgotten how to speak.
“Heero! Open your eyes,
c’mon! Don’t do this to me!”
It was so dark...
“Heero!”
The voice was fading away
too...
“NURSE! NURSE!
NUUUUUURRRRSSSSSEEEEE!!!!!!”
. . . . . .silence. . . . . .
. shhhhh. . . . . . . .
“NURSE! Oh, fuck it!”
Someone was touching him.
Warm...
“You’ll be in bed soon,
Heero, don’t worry. It’s gonna be okay. I’m here, buddy.”
He was flying... flying away
from there...
No... wait...
“Huh? Did you say something?
Heero? Heero!”
The vending machine...
“The what? Heero! Heero,
c’monp yop your eyes open. Talk to me. What did you say?”
Please... it hurts so much...
“Heero! Heero, no, stay with
me!”
. . . . . . . sleep. . . . .
. .
“No Heero, stay awake! Shit!”
The pain was fading...
“Would somebody call a God
damned doctor!?!?!?!?”
. . . . . .shhh. . . . . it’s
gone. . . . .
“AREN’T THERE ANY DOCTORS
AROUND HERE?!”
* * *
He placed Heero in his bed
and rushed out of the room, nearly tripping on his own two feet as he ran past
sharp corners. He slipped once or twice as he ran down the slippery halls,
looking frantically for a doctor.
“Help! I need help!” He
called, his eyes tearful, his breath harsh and his heartbeat racing. He saw a
couple of nurses sitting in a small Recreation room and practically leaped head
on into the room.
The nurses blinked, looking
baffled.
“Please, he’s in a lot of
pain.” Duo added, panting. He looked at them with pleading eyes, but all they
did was shrug and went back to their coffee.
“Good,” One said, not sparing
him even half a glance. “That means that he’s still alive.” She looked up at
Duo, her gaze cold. “The vending machine is down the hall.”
Duo gaped at her. “What?!
Were you even listening to me, bitch!? I’m asking for a DOCTOR not a can of
coke!”
The nurse didn’t even
flinched under his Shinigami glare. “There are no doctors in this ward, mister.
Just us.” She returned to her coffee. “We’re the Clean-up Crew in case someone
drops dead. Until then,” She turned to glare at him. “The vending machine is
down the hall.”
Duo didn’t know if to laugh,
cry or just beat the living daylights out of the stupid nurse. But he had no
time to do either of those. Without another word wasted on the tow nurses, Duo
bolted out of the room and ran down the corridor, towards the vending machine.
He nearly collided with it as
he came into a blunt stop, panting hard from his run. He looked up at the
machine, his eyes wide.
It was no ordinary vending
machine. It had no snacks or soft drinks. The vending machine held medication
and painkillers of all kinds.
Duo just gaped at it for
about thirty seconds before he forced himself to snap out of the shock. He
should have expected something like that on an L7 colony. They didn’t have
money to distribute medication for free, so you had to buy it. Back in the days
where the Plague was raging, L2 had similar medicament systems. But these
things became illegal when the Earth Sphere Alliance took over things. If one
thing could be said about the current government, was that it was very humane.
But apparently, L7 couldn’t afford to be ‘humane’. They could barely
afford being barbaric!
Cursing the colony in every
language he knew, Duo dug a few coins out of his pocket and shoved them into
the machine. The lightest painkillers were the cheapest, costing merely $3.00,
but he wanted to have something that will actually take effect, so he bought
the stronger one. He used the remaining of his loose change in order to buy
some pills to help
Heero with his fever and nausea.
Only when he was back in Heero’s room, after he injected
Heero with the painkillers, Duo allowed himself to breathe. He sat down in his
creaking metal chair, his body numb. He looked down at the paper bag he brought
from the market, his eyes beginning to water. The turmoil of emotions that
raged inside of him for the last few days began to take its toll on him. As the
tears came, Duo didn’t bother to stop them. He sat there in his chair, holding
Heero’s cold hand, and sobbed quietly into the night.
*
* *
Heero woke up at around midnight. Duo was still sitting in
the small chair, reading to him from one of the small pocket book he had found
on Heero’s nightstand. When he saw the boy was finally awake, he put the book
aside and smiled at him. Not one trace remained from his tears, and Duo had
been working on that smile for quite some time, wanting to assure Heero that
everything was all right.
The silence stretched between them as the minutes went by.
Heero just lay there, looking numbly at his hands, and Duo sat next by his
side, watching him. When Duo reached for Heero’s hand, the boy looked up, blue
eyes shimmering in the dark.
Duo smiled kindly. “Are you hungry?”
It took Heero a while to think about it, and he chewed on
his lower lip in thought. After a while, he sighed and turned to look at Duo.
“Well, I’m not nauseous.”
Duo chuckled, though in truth he wanted to whimper. He
nodded his head and reached down for the bag at his feet.
“Good.” He said to Heero as he picked up the bag. “Because
I hate eating alone.”
Heero frowned, watching Duo carefully. “What’s in the
bag?”
A wicked grin spread on Duo’s face. He shrugged, pulling
something out of the brown bag. “Oh, just some stuff.”
“Stuff?” Heero echoed as he watched Duo hand him
something. He reached up his hand to take it, and Duo had to hold himself from
wincing as he saw that Heero’s hands were trembling. He was getting weaker by
the minute.
“What is it?” Heero’s hoarse voice pulled Duo out of his
brooding, and he looked up at the boy again. He forced on a smile. “Open it.”
Heero did as told, placing the small box on his lap. He
noted that the box was soggy and greasy, and for some reason his mouth began to
water. He smiled as he opened the small box, inhaling deeply.
“I’m sorry it’s cold by now, but I hope that they’re still
good.” Duo spoke quietly, his eyes shining with a real smile as he studied
Heero’s joyous features.
“Duo...” Heero whispered, shocked. He poked the pile of
French fries inside the box, as if making sure that they are really there. He
turned to look up at his friend, his pale features stunned. “How did you get
this?”
Duo chuckled and shook his head. “Does it really matter?
C’mon! Eat up before I’ll eat everything for you!”
“This must have cost a fortune.” Heero stated, his voice
suddenly solemn. He looked down at his meal, his blue eyes shimmering sadly. “You
shouldn’t have done this.”
“Yes, I should have and I did. Now eat.” Duo said, handing
Heero another small box.
“Duo, please... it will only go to waist...” The young
Japanese man tried again, shaking his head while speaking feebly. “I’m not
really hungry anyway...”
Duo snorted and pulled another container out of the paper
bag. “Ch. Dun bullshit me, Heero. I know very well who’s been getting your
meals all this time!” He growled, sending a harsh glance in Heero’s way.
“You’ll eat or I’ll jam this down your throat.”
Heero winces at Duo’s harsh tone and stern face. He
swallowed and then bowed his head, sighing. The truth was, that he was
extremely hungry. He couldn’t remember the last time he had solid food instead
of a lousy excuse of a soup or an IV shoved into his arm. Licking his lower
lip, he looked up, watching silently as Duo pulled more small and greasy
cardboard containers out of his shopping bag.
There was a small buffet forming on his bed, and Heero was
unable to do anything but gape at the sight of it. His mouth began to water and
a small smile tugged at his pale lips as he watched Duo open the containers one
by one. Apple pie, a large salad, greasy onion rings, a bottle of chocolate
milkshake and a small containers full of...
He gasped, whirling his head in Duo’s direction.
“Strawberries?!” He breathed in surprise, his eyes dancing
with joy. “You found strawberries!?”
Duo couldn’t help but grin. “Yup! But they’re for dessert,
so you’ll have to eat everything else first.”
Heero paled, looking down at his large meal. “I... I don’t
think I can...” He mumbled, eyeing the strawberries miserably.
Duo chuckled and shook his head in amusement. “Kiddin’
Heero! Just kidding! Gee, that’s a line I use on my six-year-old son! You’re a
big boy, you can have whatever you want!”
Heero blushed at his stupidity. “Oh.” He chuckled and
shook his head at his own silliness. He turned to look at Duo. “Will you help
me finish this? It would be a shame to see it all go to waste.”
“Oh, don’t worry about wasting anything, cuz you won’t.”
Duo informed him, already reaching for a piece of pie. “Besides, I’ll CERTAINLY
help ya out!”
Heero chuckled again and then the two shared a pleasant
meal together.
*
* *
Later that night, after
having finished eating their meal, Heero was lying on his side, a hand tucked
under his head and his eyes wide open. The blue orbs shimmered weakly in the
dark, watching Duo carefully. The longhaired young man was still sitting in his
small metal chair, fast asleep. His head was lolling down limply, his chin
resting on his chest. It was an awkward and probably uncomfortable position,
but Heero didn’t have the heart to wake Duo and tell him to move to the bed. He
would have carried him if he could, but in his current state it was most
difficult. He could barely carry himself, not to mention a man taller and
nearly twice heavier than him.
Heero sighed and closed his
eyes sadly. He felt so useless! Helpless and incompetent as a small child!
No... even children could do more than he could in this current
condition! His body felt weak and his muscles had long turned into jelly. His
mind was hazed with fever most of the time, forcing him to spend his last days
in sleep. He was wasting precious time, time that was quickly running out and
still left unexploited. There was so much that he wanted to see... so many
things he wanted to say, to feel, to experience... So many things he wanted to
do and have a chance to finally live...
However, when he was
awake, all he knew was pain. This terrible pain in the pits of his stomach.
Pain that moved around his body, attacking every nerve and leaving agony
wherever it roamed. It turned Heero into a feeble, quivering and whimpering
shell, composed of jelly-like flesh and frail bones. He was still breathing,
but he already felt dead. The only thing that was still keeping him here, still
forcing blood through his veins, was the man sleeping on the chair in front of
him. Duo. The one who was beating his heart. The one who was still keeping him
here, alive and breathing... hoping... praying... doing all that he could to
gather the courage and finally say those words... Finally whisper them as he
lay on his deathbed. Only then, only after he will speak those words, will he
let himself rest. He wanted Duo to know. He will not let himself die before Duo
knew. He will not let himself die before those words are spoken from his lips.
But he was selfish. He didn’t
want to die. Not yet. Seven years... seven years without Duo, and now he was
here, next to him. Smiling, laughing and so full of life. He drank that sight
and his honey-sweet voice like a man who jus just walked the Sahara without
water. He could feel himself shine under Duo’s bright light, like he too was
alive and well all of a sudden. The feeling was toxic and addictive in the same
time. He didn’t want to perish and have that light disappear from his sight. He
didn’t want it yet. Not yet! Not yet!
Just a little more time...
just a few more tomorrows... a few more days spent under that blinding white
light... Just a few more...
Whimpering, Heero shifted in
his bed and buried his head in his pillow. How selfish can one man be!? Is
there no end to his selfishness?! For how much longer will he keep Duo captive
in his own Hellish prison?! For how much longer will he keep Duo away from his
son? From his home? From his life...
Duo had such a great life,
the kind of life Heero had always wished he could have. The kind of life he
dreamt of having and sharing with the one he loved. With Duo. But he had faced
it, a long time ago, that Duo chose another over him. He had every right to do
so. He would have probably done the same as Duo did if he were in that
situation. Anyone else but him would have been a good choice. It was no wonder
Duo didn’t choose him. He wouldn’t have chosen himself either. He, the selfish
bastard who cared for no one but himself... who would want to live with such a
person? Certainly not Duo. So he had let go of Duo, letting him live his life
happily and doing his best to keep out of the way.
Sometimes, the longing and
loneliness became too hard and he had surrendered to a few moments of despair,
giving up to temptation and sending Duo a small note, wishing with all his
might that the love of his life would answer back. Duo always answered, and
thus managed to save Heero from his little dark pit of loneliness, if only for
a while. But Heero made sure that the contact would remain via email alone,
without giving out his location, just in case something will go wrond wnd will
somehow bring unhappiness to Duo’s world. He did EVERYTHING in order to avoid
that.
But now... now that his time
in this world was quickly running out, he became selfish and greedy, wanting to
keep Duo by his side to the very end. He had stolen Duo from his home and family,
chaining his to this hospital bed and forcing him to stay here by letting all
of his weaknesses show. He let his pain, longing and agony show, trying to use
Duo’s kindness against him. Duo would never turn on anyone who needed him, even
if it was someone like he, the selfish bastard. He could see the guilt and
sense of duty in Duo’s eyes. It was the only thing that was keeping here,
probably. Sometimes he pretended that it was love and care he saw in those
violet eyes, and even though it really seemed like it, he knew that it’s
just not possible. No one can ever love a pathetic beggar as he.
And there was no end to his
selfishness, for now he had pushed Duo to the point of wasting his money on
him. Heero knew very well the importance of money in this world. He lived most
his life under the illusion that money was nothing, merely a silly materialistic thing that humans
used in order to trade the basics of life. Little did he know that materialism
would be the end of him. He had learned, the hard way, that a life of a person
depended solely on the amount of money he possessed. He had been so naïve...
believing with all his heart that human kindness still existed... that it
survived all wars and depressions and came above all materialistic ideas. He
had been so wrong...
He knew that Duo was running
low on cash. He had seen Duo counting a small stack of bills, while he thought
that he was asleep. Even though it was dark, he could see the solemn look on
Duo’s face as he sighed heavily, and then recounted the bills. It was clear
that he didn’t have enough, and guilt tugged painfully at Heero’s heart. Duo
shouldn’t have bought all those foods for him... he just shouldn’t have... it
was a waste of money, wasted on a selfish and dying bastard.
Struggling to contain his tears, Heero sniffled quietly
and slowly turned his head up. He looked at his sleeping love with shimmering
cobalt eyes, his features anguished. How dare he rob Duo of his money?! How
dare he!? Duo couldn’t afford to spend it on him! He had a son to raise! A home
to maintain! A whole life to live! And here he was... sponging off Duo like the
leech that he was. Had he no honor left? No sense of dignity? No more sense
left in his battered and fevered mind to remind him that he should not ruin
Duo’s life? He should do anything in his power to prevent Duo from having the
same fate as he had.
And yet... despite his selfish nature... despite the fact
that it was a waste of money... Duo still helped him. And what did he give in
return to all of Duo’s gifts and kindness? What did he offer!? Nothing! Nothing
at all! He was a selfish bastard who knew nothing but to take from others,
and still ask for more! Selfish! Selfish! Selfish!!!!
A light moan from Duo drew
Heero’s attention back to the here and now. He blinked a few times and turned
to face Duo, looking at him carefully, checking if he was waking up. But the
young man just stirred, shifting in his seat so he was sitting more
comfortably, and then drifted back into deep slumber. He shivered in his sleep,
mumbling something incoherent, and then stilled once more.
Heero swallowed and looked
away sadly. Here he was, lying on a bed and covered by a blanket, while Duo sat
shivering in the cold. Duo even used his own jacket in order to covim aim and
protect him from the coldness of the room. He was sitting there, shivering
without his jacket, while he lay covered with it! There was simply no end to
his selfishness.
“...Solo...”
The Japanese man winced at
the sound of that longing whisper. He looked down at the small paper bag that
lay at the foot of Duo’s chair, and more tears stung his eyes as the sight of a
small and colorful album peeking out of the bag. It was probably a gift for
Duo’s son. He bet that Duo couldn’t wait to be home and give it to him. He bet
he missed his son’s smile, hiice,ice, his presence... just the way he had
missed Duo for the past seven years.
Duo shouldn’t be here. He
should be home with his son, tucking him to bed and giving him a goodnight
kiss. It was better if he died right here and now, relieving Duo of his burden
and setting him free. Duo was too kind, too nice and thoughtful to just get up
and leave, no matter how much he wanted to. And Heero knew that he wanted to
leave kne knew how much it hurt Duo to be away from his son. How much it
anguished him to be here, in this stinking Hellhole full of the sick and the
dead, instead of living his own life.
If he was going to do
anything worthy with the little time he had left, it will be to release Duo
from this prison. At least then, he could die in peace, knowing that his love
was happy and content.
With that resolve, Heero
forced his uncooperative muscles to work, groaning as he pushed himself up to
sit on the bed. His pale legs dangled down the bed like dead weight, and tears
of pain filled his eyes. They blurred his vision, but he paid them no mind, and
after a few deep breaths, he pushed himself off the bed, struggling to stand on
his own shaking feet. He used the bed for support until he managed to steady
himself, moving slowly and quietly, doing his best not to wake Duo. He then
turned to his nightstand, slowly pulling out a pink paper slip out of the small
drawer.
He looked down at it
lengthily, his blue eyes numb and powerful. A few tears dropped onto the pink
piece of paper, staining the ‘charity money’ coufoilfoil with his misery. He took a long, shaky
breath and then slowly turned around, looking at Duo. He studied the young
man’s beautiful face, serene and calm in his sleep. He clenched the counterfoil
tightly, determination shining in his eyes.
It was the least he could do... it was not much, but at
least if he did this, he could die in peace. It was the least, and only thing,
he could possibly do. It was time to face it, there were no more tomorrto
to
wait for, no more time to stall and postpone the inevitable. He had to do it
now, before it was too late, and set Duo free. It was the least he could
possibly do.
Determined, Heero began taking one small and painful step
at a time, making his way slowly out of the curtain, down the long passage of
the room and then finally stumbling out the door. The exercise was hard and
caused him nothing but agony, but he was determined to continue. He had to do
it, for Duo. For Duo, he had to keep moving. It was the least he could do...
As Heero panted and struggled to keep walking, coughing
loudly and making a stop to rest every few steps, Duo remained sitting in his
chair, deep asleep and oblivious to any of Heero’s thoughts or actions.
Part 6.
Back.
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