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Behind Blue Eyes	By : Naomi Category: Gundam Wing/AC > Yaoi - Male/Male Views: 1758 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing/AC, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 4
- 5
- 6
BEHIND
BLUE EYES

PART
FIVE

*   *   *

The doors to the Emergency
Room burst violently open, swinging wildly from side to side. Duo rushed into
the ER, a haunted expression on his pale features. His hair was disheveled from
running; long bangs tousled as he rushed down the hallway. His wide violet eyes
scanned the waiting room, shifting hastily from one corner to another.

He spotted Heero sitting on a
chair in the corner of the waiting room, huddled into himself. He was sitting
with his heels resting on the chair, his knees drawn up to his chest. He was
hugging his legs, his forehead pressed to his kneecaps, making him look like a
small and miserable human ball. An ominous and melancholic cloud was hovering
over the young man, raining invisible drops of anguish on his slumped form.
Duo's heart ached at the sight, bleeding slowly into his ribcage.

He slowed his approach and
took careful steps towards his lover. He stood before him, his features full of
compassion as he looked down at the solemn young man. Heero didn't look up from
where he was staring at the floor. His head was bowed, his numb blue eyes
gazing dully at Duo's shoes.

“Heero.” Duo called softly,
trying to gain his attention. Heero didn't look up, so with a long sigh, Duo
took a seat next to him. The two sat silently together, both looking at thin
air. The silence stretched between them like a chasm. There were so many things
Duo wanted to say, to ask, to know, but the words didn't come. Heero's silence
rendered his own mouth speechless. All he could do was sit t and and stare at
the floor. He took a long moment to study his dark brown boots, and reached a
half-hearted conclusion that they were butt-ugly. He shifted his eyes to look
at Heero's white sneakers, and frowned. The two of them needed to do some
serious shopping.

Sighing, he shook his head a
little and closed his eyes. This was not the time to let his mind drift. He had
to make Heero speak. There was a reason he rushed out of class in the middle of
an important lecture. His Biology Professor will never forgive him for it, but
Heero came first. When he heard his lover's shaking voice on the phone, his
heart broke. Between sniffling, Heero asked him if he could come to the local
hospital. He actually asked, as if the answer wasn't obvious.

Duo sighed and tilted his
head back, looking up at the blinding florescent lights on the ceiling. He
gazed dully at the ceiling, simply letting time tick by.

“She's dying.” Heero finally
whispered. His voice was numb, like he was commenting about something as
trivial as the weather. Duo knew that he was in shock. He knew his lover too
well. If the emotional blow was too much to deal with, he would just cut the
cord connecting his heart to his body. He would shut the flood of emotion
flowing through his veins and live on facts only. Cold logic would take over,
slowly turning pain into plain and numb acceptance.

He wasn't going to let Heero
do that. If he was in pain, he had to deal with it. No more running away. Heero
made so much progress from his old, emotionally-cut-off self, and Duo wasn't
going to sit back and watch him close his heart again.

“What did the doctors say?”
He asked, forcing Heero to deal with it, to speak about it.

Heero sighed heavily, hugging
his knees tighter. “It's cancer. Leukemia.”

Duo winced. Leukemia. One of
the few types of cancer the After Colony science was unable to cure. The
dreaded Blood-Cancer was still an incurable disease that caused many casualties
and pain.

Realization slowly dawned on
him. His eyes widened in horror. “So all those times when she wasn't home...”

“Chemotherapy.” Heero
muttered, “She's been doing it for the past five months.” His tone was cold,
calculated. Speaking plain facts with no emotional attachment. Even though Duo
knew that Heero was deeply hurt from being lied to, from being left out of the
picture. He felt betrayed, tormenting himself with many painful questions. Why
didn't Nora tell him? Wasn't he important enough? Didn't he matter?

Duo knew that Heero was
answering all of his questions wrongly. He had to make him snap out of it,
before the next blow will hit. And considering the two of them were sitting by
the Intensive Care Unit, the next blow was soon to come.

“Shit.” He cursed, looking
away with a wince. The situation was grimmer than he had initially thought.

“She refused to receive
treatment up until now.” Heero mumbled into his knees, his head still bowed.
“She wanted to die, Duo. She just... she wanted to die.”

Heero's voice faltered,
breaking with tears. Slowly but surely, his emotionless act dissolved into
nothing. He couldn't shut out the tears. They came whether he wanted them or
not. Duo could see him struggle to cut-off the emotional tidal wave, but
failing miserably. His heart clenched painfully at the sight. Heero was trying
so hard to be strong, but his heart wouldn't let him anymore. In a way, giving
in to his emotions only made Heero look stronger. He wasn't afraid to cry
anymore.

“I... I think about it, and
it hurts. It hurts so much, because I... I know what it's like... seeking death
in every opportunity. Feeling too obliged to living so you can't take your own
life, but yet... jumping at the opportunity to die.”

He turned to look up at Duo,
his expression tormented. His blue eyes were large and vulnerable, a hot stream
of tears leaking down his cheeks.

“She was in so much pain; all
this time... there was so much pain in her heart, Duo... I could never ease it.
No matter what I did.”

“Heero, that's not true. I
think you are the reason she chose to start chemotherapy. She wanted to live
for you.”

Heero sniffled, a flicker of
doubt crossing his already confused features. “Then why didn't she tell me
about it? I could have... I could have been there for her...”

“I don't know the answer to
that, Heero. Only Nora does.”

cla class=MsoBodyText style='line-height:12.0pt'>Heero sighed, looking away.
“I know...”

“Mr. Yuy?” A timid voice
called softly, as a young doctor came to stand in front of the two.

Heero looked up and hurried
to stand on his feet. He wiped his tears away hastily, and turned to face the
doctor. Duo got up as well and stood next to him. He placed a comforting hand
on his shoulder. Both young men turned anxious eyes at the doctor.

The young physician looked
down at his notepad, leafing briefly through his notes. “We have your blood
test results.” He said, his soft brown eyes apologetic when he looked up at
Heero.

Duo frowned in confusion. He
turned to Heero with a questioning look. “What blood test?”

Heero sighed, casting his
gaze down. “Nora needs a bone marrow transplant. I asked them to chef I'f I'm
suitable for a donation.” He looked up at the doctor again, his gaze piercing.
“We're incompatible, aren't we?”

The doctor's face covered
with compassion. “I'm sorry, Mr. Yuy, but while your blood type does match your
mother's, your bone marrow doesn't.”

Heero's body stilled. He
forze like a statue, his breath caught in his throat. Duo felt his lover tense,
and tightened his hold around his shoulder. He turned to the doctor with an
apologetic smile.

“There must be some mistake,”
he said slowly, “She is not his mother.”

The doctor frowned, and
looked down at his notes. “Are you sure?” he asked, leafing through his
paperwork, “Because according to our tests results...” he turned another page,
scanning it briefly, “...the DNA is a match.” Closing, his notepad, he looked
up at the two, his gaze confused. “Did I check the wrong patient?”

Duo whirled his head around
to look at Heero. The young man was still frozen like stone. His expression was
a frozen mask of shock and confusion. His eyes were unfocused, staring
somewhere beyond the doctor.

“No, there's no mistake.” Duo
let out with a sigh, turning back to the confused physician. “She is his
mother.”

While he still seemed
confused, the doctor nodded once and then left, mumbling a small “I'm sorry.”

Duo didn't tear his eyes off
Heero, studying his shocked features with great concern.

“Heero, are you all right?”
He asked carefully, placing a gentle hand over his lover's limp palm. Heero’s
arms were dangling lifelessly at his side, his fists clenched and trembling
ever so slightly. He was gazing far ahead, a numb and distant look in his eyes.
His lips slowly moved as he mumbled, “I... I need to sit down.”

“Sure.” Duo complied, guiding
Heero gently towards the small plastic chair. Heero’s movements were stiff and slow.
His dazed blue eyes were unfocused even when he moved to sit down. He didn’t
look where he was going, trusting Duo’s hands to guide him safely. When he was
finally seated, his body making contact with the cold plastic chair, he
flinched, blinking. A few tears that were flooding his eyes were swept away by
his long eyelashes. He took a trembling breath, his back shaking, and buried
his face in his hands.

Duo watched as his lover bent
forward, curling into himself, hiding his face in his hands. He listened as
Heero drew long deep breaths, trying to calm down. He rubbed his back
soothingly, trying to ease the small trembles that trailed up and down Heero’s
back. He leaned his head carefully atop of Heero’s, raising another hand to
caress the soft brown hair. Inhaling deeply, he closed his eyes and took a
moment to just drown in Heero’s scent.

“Shush...” he whispered
softy, running his hand gently through Heero’s fine hair, “Shhh...”

“She... she knew...” Heero
mumbled into his hands, his voice breaking with tremors. “She lied to me...”

“Heero, please...” Duo
begged, “don’t torment yourself over this. It’s not--”

“She’s my mother, Duo.” Heero
cut in, his voice harder than before, his gaze intense.

Confused, Duo pulled back and
looked at Heero, waiting for him to speak. He watched as Heero slowly put his
arms down, and raised his head. He turned to face Duo, his blue eyes burning
fiercely despite the tears that slid down his cheeks. Heero closed his eyes
slowly, and when he opened them again they were suddenly full of wonder. The
sudden change was shocking to watch, causing Duo to blink as well. He looked at
Heero, his gaze astonished, as the Japanese boy’s lips lifted slowly in a
smile. His blue eyes sparkled when he looked at Duo and said, “I have a mother.”

Duo didn’t know how to
respond, his lover was obviously in a state of shock, so the only response he
could think of was to smile back. It faltered.

*   *   *

Heero walked into Nora’s
hospital room, slowly closing the door behind him. He took a moment to just
breathe, before he turned around to face the room. The sight revealed to him
was not a pleasant one at all. Nora was lying slumped on the bed, looking paler
than the sheets themselves. The thin blue sheets cascaded over her body in
gentle folds, lingering to her form like a second skin. They traced her figure,
the gentle curves of her body, which made her look so small and fragile. She
looked like a corpse, lyindernder the pale blue sheets.

Heero swallowed and forced
his numb feet to step forward. He made his way slowly to the bed, his breath
catching in his throat when he finally reached her bedside. Looking down at
her, his eyes filled with tears once more.

Again that tight ball of
anger, deep in the pits of his stomach. “Get over it?! Nora, this is not the
flew we are talking about! This is cancer! Dammit, Nora! You are so stubborn!”
One minute he was crying and the next he was shouting. He felt drained.

And now she was smiling at
him, a hint of amusement was sparkling weakly in her eyes. “At least you know
where you got your own stubbornness from.”

He wanted to be angry again,
but he couldn’t. He found himself smiling slightly, and then shaking his head
in a rebuking way. “This is not funny. I’m not laughing.” He muttered, rubbing
the bridge of his nose as his lover often did in such a situation.

“No... no you’re not.” She
mumbled, turning away.

Silence fell, and settled for
a while. It was so quiet Heero could hear the low humming of the florescent
lights, along with the natural background noise of the hospital life. He
wondered if Duo was doing okay in the waiting room. He hoped he wasn’t worry his his lover too much. Just this weekend the three of them were sitting by the
dinner table at Nora’s apartment, enjoying a friendly board game after a quiet
dinner. Duo paired with Nora (to help her due to her blindness) and the two
played against him. They won and he moped, and all in all they had a great
time. There was a smile on his face the whole evening. It felt as if it had
been over an eternity ago, but the memory did manage to calm him. He took a
deep breath, and turned back to Nora. To his... to his mother.

He wanted to try and say it.
Could he really? Should he? Maybe just once, to taste it on his lips. Just
once...

With a faltering breath, he reached
for her hand again, cupping her palm with both of his. He turned to look at
her, leaning closer to the bed. She turned her head to face him, her expression
confused.

“Heero?”

He tried to say it, but it
didn’t come out. His mouth was dry. He licked his lips and tried again.
“M-mother.” He said, and it felt so terribly awkward. Misplaced. The term
didn’t belong, didn’t apply here. It felt alien on his lips, like he had never
called anyone by that title.

Nevertheless, Nora smiled,
her amusement clearly showing. She flipped her hand over to return his hold,
squeezing his hand lightly. “Oh, Heero,” she called in sympathy, “you don’t
have to force yourself to call me that. I understand.” She smiled, and bent
forward to kiss his forehead. The touch of her lips was still warm, like he
knew a mother’s kiss should be. “I don’t think I can start calling you Hikari.
Even if you are my son... you’re Heero now. This is what your life had shaped
you into. I’m not going to change that.”

He smiled back for some
reason, relieved. “It would be quite a hassle to change my name after finally
acquiring a citizenship.” He joked, surprised by how his mood lightened. She
had this affect on him, this woman. She always made his heart feel lighter, no
matter how grave the situation was. Was that what being someone’s son felt
like? Was this what it felt like to be by your mother’s side? Yes. Yes it did.
To him, at least.

“Besides,” she added with a
smirk too much like his own, “you never called me ‘mother’. You didn’t speak a
word of English when you were little!” she chuckled, as if caressed by a
pleasant memory. “Hayashi and I spoke Japanese at home, and that’s what we
taught you. We agreed on teaching you ish ish when you turned three... it’s an
excellent age to learn new languages.” Her shoulders slumped all of a sudden,
and her cheerful tone slowly faded. Sadness was shining in her eyes again. “I
guess... I guess you learned on your own...” She mumbled sadly, bowing her head
in order to hide her tears.

Heero suddenly realized that
he had only seen her cry once. While he had shed many tears on her shoulder,
this was only the second time he had seen her cry. His heart was filled with
pain and admiration for this woman. She was so strong and yet... she was always
so alone. He ached to take her pain away, absorb it all into him with a hug. He
climbed on the bed and wrapped his arms around her, pulling the shaking woman
into a warm embrace. He guided her head to rest on his shoulder, and pressed
his cheek to the top of her head. He inhaled the scent of her hair into his
lungs, and let her pour all of her misery into him. He held her tightly as she
cried, wrapping her arms around him also. She clung to him tightly; locking her
arms around his waist in a powerful, desperate, grip.

Shean aan apologizing between
sobs, choking out incoherent apologies as she cried. She apologized for not
being there for him, saying she was sorry for all the pain he’d been through,
for all the horrors he had seen. She cried harder and harder as she began to bring
up events of his past, bits and pieces of what he had told her about the
training, the war, the pain. She apologized for each and every one of those
times. For each time he suffered and she was not there.

Heero kept silent, looking
ahead numbly as he listened to her cry and remind him of each painful
experience, each time another part of his soul was torn away and shattered. It
didn’t hurt when he thought about it. There was just numb acceptance. It was in
the past, he was healed. Thanks to her, he was healed. So at some point he
stopped listening and just stroked her hair, his fingers toying with the tip of
her long, thick, braid. He closed his eyes and let himself sink into the
sensations around him. Her warm body, the sound of her silent whimpering, the
feeling of her warm tears soaking his dark blue shirt. The softness of her
hair, the thick width of her braid. It was much thicker than Duo’s. It had a
completely different feeling to it. It was softer somehow, warmer in some
bizarre way. It felt heavy between his fingers, such a pleasantly familiar
weight in his hand. A memory suddenly came to him, and he smiled. He remembered
when his hand was so small he couldn’t wrap it around the entire diameter of
her braid.

Opening his eyes, he drew
back a little so he could bend his head and kiss her hair. He placed a gentle
kiss at the top of her head. She sniffled loudly and raised her head up. He
offered another kiss to her forehead and then gently parted with her.

“I’m okay.” He whispered,
looking down into her eyes. “I made it out okay.” He repeated, watching her
tearful eyes shimmer in uncertainty. “Don’t feel sorry for my hardship. None of
it was your fault.” He assured her, his voice warm and gentle as he spoke.

Her lips trembled, she was
about to speak. He silenced her with his finer.

“No.” he whispered, “We will
not discuss this. It is not open for discussion.” He carefully got off the bed
and helped her lie down. “I want you to sleep, Nora. You exhausted yourself.”
He tucked her in, raising the pale blue blanket up and covering her gently. She
lay silently, simply letting him tend to her. There were a few more tears
sliding silently down her cheeks, but her eyes wereareearer now, focused and
bright. They were looking straight at him again, as if able to see him somehow.
She was looking up at him like a curious child.

Heero bent down and kissed
her forehead. “Goodnight.” He whispered, while holding her hand gently. “I’m
going to have a few words with your doctor and then come back. Try to get some
sleep.” He was about to let go of her hand and walk away; when he felt her
fingers curl tightly around him. Confused, he turned back to her. “I’ll backback.” He promised, trying to sooth her.

But she wasn’t distressed.
She was smiling. Her intense blue eyes were looking at him brightly. And that
smile... it lighted her face even more. “You’re so handsome...” She whispered
blissfully, tears flooding her eyes. “Just like your fatheR” Her hand went
limp in his grasp, and she was asleep. Heero continued standing there for a few
more moments, completely dazed.

*   *   *

For the following weeks,
Heero didn’t get to see much of the world outside the hospital. He was always
by Nora’s side, through chemotherapy sessions, doctor examinations, or simply
sitting by her hospital bed while she slept. The medical staff in the ward had
learned fairly quickly that the visiting hours did not apply to him. All they
had to see was the look in his eyes and that was enough to suggest that the
young man should be left alone, by his mother’s side. He fed her when she was
too weak to move, and he cleaned after her when she was too nauseous to eat. He
read to her to pass the time, and held her hand when pain attacked her in the
middle of the night.

He asked her to tell him
about her past, for he never grew tired of it. He asked many questions, about
his father, what was he like and how the two of them met. He asked about his
grandparents, about both sides of the family. He asked about her life after his
supposed death and the loss of her husband. He wanted to know everything.

When she was too tired to
speak, it was his turn to talk. He would talk about the lighter memories he had
from his life. Of the way Odin Lowe used to play hide-and-seek with him
sometimes, and about the time when he taught him how to read. He told her about
the first time he saw his Gundam and was stunned by the sheer size of it that
he froze in his spot and couldn’t move. And about the nights he spent on the
road with Trowa and his circus, how he met many bizarre and interesting people
there. He told her about the forming of his friendship with Duo, and about the
only time he ever danced with a girl.

She would lie slumped in her
bed, eyes closed, but listening to his every word. She would smile when she
noted that he was speaking of a particularly sweet memory, and she would tense
when he told something suspenseful, like a certain battle or a mission he
thought he’d never live through.

Duo came to visit from time
to time, each time carrying a present for her and Heero as well. He brought
many amusing gizmos; silly toys and gadgets she could play with, using only her
fingers for you didn’t need the gift of sight to enjoy such silly gifts.
Sometimes he brought Heero a book or a box of chocolates, maybe even a silly
gift like a slinky or a little Transformer™ action figure. Anything to make the
two of them smile. He would sit with them for a few hours, sometimes keep Nor Nora company while Heero went home for a few hours to shower and get some
shuteye. He was spending most of his time in the hospital, getting little sleep
in insufficient nutrition.

The University began sending
him notices by mail after about two months of his absence. They queried about
his health and reminded him, more th few few times, that he had finales coming
up. When he missed the first test, he got another notice, and then another and
another. They began sending him warnings that he will not be applied for the
next semester and he will lose his post-military scholarship. Duo was kind
enough to go take care of things for Heero, and after a long session with the
dean it was agreed that Heero would be able to take the exams in a later
occasion.

All in all Heero was keeping
his act together somehow. He lived from one moment to another, dreading the
mere thought of what will come next. He escorted Nora into chemo, waited until
it was over and then the two somehow made it through the rest of the day. He
became used to the routine, as much as it hurt him to admit it. He could hardly
remember anything else but green walls and pale blue sheets. When his lover
came to visit, it looked so unreal. Duo’s bright and cheerful personality
didn’t fit into his world anymore. It was like a fleeting dream, coming in and
out every now and then. And so it happened that as time went by and Nora slowly
lost her health and good looks, Heero’s humanity also began to fade. On some
days, he looked like nothing more of his own shadow.

He reached his breaking point
on the day the doctor informed him that they shaved Nora’s hair off. His
mother’s hair had been molting rapidly, and she asked them to shave it off. The
doctor warned Heero of the sudden change before the young man entered Nora’s
hospital room. Duo, who was standing behind Heero, watched his lover’s face in
concern. Heero’s pale and haggard features didn’t seem the slightest bit
affected by the doctor’s words. He simply accepted it with a curt nod, and
walked into the room.

His resolve died the moment
he saw her small, white, bald head resting against the pillow. Her eyes looked
even larger now, sunken deeply into her skull. He held on for as long as he
could before he ran out of the room and straight into Duo’s arms. He collapsed
onto his lover and wept like a child, his entire figure shaking as Duo held him
tight. It took a few more efforts and Duo’s arms around him to help him walk
back to Nora’s bedside. It was from that day on that Heero’s Prussian blue eyes
were always filled with tears.

Duo couldn’t bear to see his
lover like this anymore. He would stand there, leaning against the door in
Nora’s hospital room, and watch his lover sit slumped on a chair by her bed,
holding her hand. His back was always bent, his head bowed and his shoulders
slumped. He was a shadow of his old self, the strong, proud and hopeful young
man who used to smile at him each time they met. A smile that would bring a
rosy shade to his cheeks and a bright light to his beautiful eyes. There was
only gray, black and white in Heero’s features. He always looked tired,
famished and miserable. He rarely ate, he never seemed to sleep for more than
an hour or two, and his eyes were always tearful. He resembled a ghost,
mourning over its lost life.

Duo could take it no more.
Not that he blamed Heero for being in such a gloom. He imagined he would be the
same if he would gain and lose someone he loves at the same day. But it still
hurt to see his lover so down. Heero was not taking care of himself, and it was
unacceptable in Duo’s eyes. So after three months, Duo decided he had enough.
Instead of bearing gifts on his visit, he came and announced, to both Heero and
Nora, that he is taking Heero home, to get some rest.

Nora didn’t argue. She nodded
slowly, her eyes thankful. Duo gathered that she understood his motives, and
she agreed with them. Heero needed to be out of the hospital for a while.

Heero protested of course,
claiming to be “just fine”. Duo didn’t bother with arguing. He ordered Heero to
get oft of the room and walk with him to the car. His tone left no room for
arguments, he meant business. Heero was rendered speechless by the intense look
in his lover’s eyes. He was too tired to argue anyway. Like with anything else
he had done lately, he simply accepted. Without a word, he got off his creaky
chair, forcing his cramped muscles to follow Duo into the car.

When they arrived to his
apartment, Heero noted thankfully that his sofa/bed was made and the apartment
was clean. Duo had been taking care of things, as always. He headed straight to
bed, not even showering, and collapsed on top of the thick mattress. He inhaled
the clean smell of the fresh sheets, taking their scent deeply into his lungs.
He had gotten used to sheets that smelled of antiseptic and sickness. The smell
of Lavender Laundry Softener was a welcomed change.

Closing his eyes, he kicked
his shoes off using only his feet, and then buried himself under the sweetly
cool covers. It was summer time and the air was hot. The hospital was always
cooled by the scentless air conditioning, but here in his apartment there was
only thel brl breeze that entered through the main window. It carried the scent
of flowers into the apartment as it brushed over Heero with a caress.

“How long has it been since
you last slept?” Duo’s bitterswvoicvoice reached his ears from somewhere
behind.

With his eyes still closed,
he mumbled into the pillow, “...about sixty hours...”

“Christ.” Duo muttered, shaking his head as he
walked over to the sofa/bed. “Go toep, ep, Heero.”

“I’m so tired, I can’t fall
asleep.” Heero slurred tiredly into his pillow, his words coming out more like
a moan than a sentence.

Duo cli on on the bed.
“Bullshit. You’re already half asleep.” He said softly, lying down next to
Heero. He laid his head on the pillow next to Heero’s, and since his lover was
sprawled gracelessly over %85 of the bed, he had to curl at the edge of the
small mattress. He sighed and turned his gaze towards Heero, studying the way
the light from the window touched Heero’s bangs, which lay sprawled all over
his face and pillow. Some long bangs reached as far down as his mouth, and they
moved up and down when Heero mumbled that, “I’ll have nightmares.”

Duo’s heart clenched in pain
for a moment, before he reached a hand down between their bodies, and took
Heero’s limp hand in his. “No you won’t. I’m here.” He assured him with a
soothing whisper, using his thumb to caress Heero’s inner palm.

Heero remained motionless,
lying heavily against the mattress as his body relaxed. His eyes were still
closed, obscured by his bangs. His dry lips slightly parted after a moment or
two. Duo was certain that he fell asleep, so he closed his eyes and allowed
himself to relax we well.

“Does it bother you that
we...” Heero suddenly spoke, his voice heavy with sleep, “that we only had sex
once?”

Duo opened his eyes, a shade
of confusion trailing like a cloud over his violet eyes. “What do you mean?” He
asked, unsure.

Heero sighed, shrugging his
shoulders briefly against the mattress. His eyes were still closed. “We’ve been
together for nearly eight months, and we only made love to each other once.”
His voice was more coherent now, which suggested how important the topic was
for him. He opened his eyes, and looked straight into Duo’s. “I want to know if
it bothers you.”

Duo was still stunned by the
question, so it took him a moment to respond. When he finally did, he smiled.
His eyes shone warmly as he looked at Heero with a kind smile. “No, Heero. It
doesn’t bother me. I guess it just... makes it more special.”

Heero frowned, small wrinkles
forming on his forehead, where his messy bangs allowed one to actually see it.
“But other couples...”

“We’re not other couples,
we’re us.” Duo cut in before Heero could finish what he was saying. “And we do
whatever suits us.” His smile grew, and he squeezed Heero’s hand, which he was
still holding. He bent forward to kiss Heero gently on the lips, and then
turned to look deeply into his tired blue eyes. “I understand that you are not
in the mood for this right now, and to be honest, neither am I.” He gave Heero
another quick kiss on the nose. “Now don’t trouble yourself with this any
further and go to sleep, all right?” He added another little kiss just for good
measure and then returned to lie against his own pillow.

Heero smiled, his eyes
shining with gratitude. He didn’t say another word, simply closed his eyes and
drifted to sleep.

*   *   *

Duo only managed to sleep for
a total of five hours. When he woke up, Heero was still sound asleep, snoring
softly into his pillow. After a while of just gazing adoringly at him, Duo got
up and began tending the apartment. When he was done cleaning, he went out on
some errands, buying their weekly groceries, doing the laundry and the likes.
He then came back to shower and change into Heero’s blue/white/pink uniforms.
He made sure that Heero was sleeping deeply and then silently left the
apartment.

He took the bus to the diner
where Heero worked and greeted Malcolm on the way in. He then did what he had
been doing for each week for the past three months, without Heero’s knowing. He
covered for him at work. He felt bad for hiding this from Heero, but he knew
that his lover would never let him do it any other way. He would feel bad for
having Duo do things for him. Only that Duo did it gladly, he knew how much
Heero needed the money. He decided to tell Heero about this when it was all
over. Hopefully he will understand.

When his six-hours shift was
done, Duo bid his farewell to his temporary boss and fellow worker, and made
his way out of the diner. On the way home he stopped by the university and began
searching for Heero’s lecturers
from each and ever course, as well as a few classmates he knew shared a certain
course with Heero. They all knew the routine and what Duo came for. He was
there to photocopy their notes and gather new assignments from the various
doctors and professors.

He’d been doing this for a while now, ever since he had
that talk with the dean regarding Heero’s scholarship. One of the terms were
that if Heero did not attend any lectures, hand in assignments and take the
exams, he should at least keep himself in the loop and catch up with his
classes every now and then. He had all the assignments due at the end of the
next semester, or he will not be allowed to continue his studying. Duo hoped
that Heero would be able to catch up with everything until then.

After about two hours of roaming the university halls and
library, Duo paid a short visit to his dorm. He took an hour to simply rest,
then did some reading on a few texts he had to go through. Without another
wasted second, he packed an overnight bag, throwing various things into a large
duffle. He had all of his necessities at Heero’s apartment, but the bag he was
packing now had a different purpose. Duo Maxwell had a certain plan in mind.

When he arrived back to Heero’s place, Duo shoved his
heavy duffle into the trunk of his car, which he left parked by Heero’s
building. He entered the small apartment and found that his lover was still
asleep, as he had been for the last fifteen hours. Sighing heavily, Duo set to
work to make dinner. He was sure that Heero would wake up soon, and he would be
hungry. His lover hadn’t been eating properly for a few weeks now, and he set
his mind on making him a large, notorious meal.

He worked hard, cutting vegetables, boiling rice,rrinrring
the soup. His feet ached after a long day, but he allowed himself no rest. It
was his way of hiding and running. He worked hard and left himself no room for
thinking. No time to collapse. If he just kept going, a little longer, by and
by, somehow he’ll make it. Just keep going. Don’t think. Just keep going. It
was the same during the war and the same applied for his entire life. Just keep
going. Keep busy. Don’t think. Keep running. Keep running. He had to be strong.
Just a little longer and it will be over. Just a little longer.

His movements were brutal as he used a large knife to chop
some pieces of beef. His hands moved hastily as he threw it in a wok and
stirred it. The silent apartment was filled with the sound of cooking. The
sizzling and klinkling of various foods. The silence was beginning to bother
him, but he didn’t want to turn the radio on and wake Heero. The boy needed his
sleep. So he worked quietly, trying to tell himself that those were not tears
in his eyes. It was that damn onion.

But when he was done cooking, he found himself sitting by
the miniature kitchen table, with barely enough room for one, surrounded by
silence. There was nothing left to do. He did everything he could think of. And
now, sitting here alone, in silence, he had no choice but to admit that those
were indeed tears stinging his eyes. He didn’t even use onion!

He sat slumped in a small plastic chair, completely
powerless to stop the tears rolling dois cis cheeks. He was exhausted; lying
sprawled on the chair like a rag doll, shedding silent tears. In his hands, he
held a few small pieces of paper, torn out of a yellow notepad. They were recopies. Recipes written in
Nora’s neat and stylish handwriting. A blind woman’s writing. It made him cry
even harder as he clutched the papers tightly. They only remindim oim of how
strong she was, how similar to Heero she was. She never gave up. She never let
life beat her down. She was blind, yes, but that didn’t stop her from writing
these recipes for Heero. She was so strong in everything she did. And now...
now she was... she was dying... she was losing that strength so quickly... so
ungracefully. It hurt him so much to think about it. And as she withered away,
Heero withered as well. It made Duo cry even harder.

He curled into himself, folding his body on the chair and
buried his face between his knees. He began to sob quietly, each sob like a
restrained cough. He was trying to keep silent, he didn’t want to wake Heero,
but it was hard to keep the sobs away. The tearerwherwhelmed him. He never
cries, he just runs and hides. No. It was a good time to cry. He should cry
now, before Heero awakes. He had to cry now, so he could be stronger later on.
He had to be strong. Strong for Heero. Heero needed him right now.
And the only way for him to get stronger is to help Heero be strong. If he will
help Heero, he will help himself. It was better to cry now. Tomorrow he had
plans of smiling, because tomorrow, he was going to make Heero smile. They’ll
keep each other strong that way. The way they always do.

*   *   *

That evening, before Heero
woke up from his long sleep, Duo went to visit Nora. With a heavy sigh, he
walked into Nora’s hospital room and closed the door behind him.

“Heero?” Her tired voice
reached his ears even before he turned away from the door. He took two steps
forward and opened his mouth, about to tell her whom he was. She beat him to
it.

“Duo. What are you doing
here? Where’s Heero?”

Duo halted, and bowed his
head down so he could look at his shoes. A brand new pair of black & white
Nikes™. He bought them two days ago. How could she recognize his footsteps so
quickly? With a frown, he shook that thought away and walked over to the bed.

“I ordered him to stay home
and rest.” He explained in a quite voice, pulling out a chair so he could sit
by her bed.

“Has he eaten anything? He
hardly ever eats anymore.” Nora asked, rolling over to lie on her side so she
could face him. Duo did his best to ignore her bald head, and nodded his head
slowly. After a moment, he reconsidered and provided a verbal answer.

“I’ve become quite handy
around the kitchen.” He tried to say as lightly as possible, though his voice
still came out bitter, even to his own ears. “And I always threaten to shove my
cooking down his throat if he doesn’t eat willingly.”

Nora chuckled, and then
coughed. “You two are such a strange couple.” She smiled at him, her eyes
shining weakly. “You’re perfect for each other.”

Duo cleared his throat in a
nervous gesture and hurried to turn his blushing face away from her intense
blind eyes. He looked over the small table by her bed, and then down at a small
bag he had brought in with him. “Would you like me to read for you?” He asked
as he pulled a book out of his bag.

“Sure, I’d like that.” She
said, closing her eyes and settling more comfortably into her bed. “I love the
sound of your voice.”

Again he was blushing. She
had the unique talent of embarrassing him to the point where he wanted to bury
his head in the ground. Like that one time when she asked him (while Heero was
nowhere around them) who was the dominant one in their relationship. He nearly
had a nosebleed then!

“Which book have you got for
me this time?” She asked, already eager to know. Duo had a great taste in
books; she always enjoyed the books he picked. She closed her eyes and relaxed
her aching body; opening her mind in anticipation for the flow of images his
amiable voice will bring to her mind. He had just the right tone and manner to
tell stories. His reading could truly make a book come to life.

Opening a thick book, Duo
cleared his throat and then read the title. “The Never-ending Story, by Michael
Ende.”

Nora giggled silently,
opening her eyes. “A children’s book?!”

Duo scowled at her. “It ist a t a children’s book. Far from it.” He protested, waving a finger at her.
“Besides, I recommended this book to Heero a while ago and he happened to like
it. A lot.”

“All right, all right.” Nora
said, still smiling. “I’d love to hear it. Go on.”

“Right.” He muttered, turning
back to the book.

She listened to his voice
tell the tale of a boy, who entered a book and experienced a world of magic.
Duo was right. This book was one that let the imagination run free. It didn’t
matter if you were blind or not, the sights described in the book were so
extraordinary that you could only see them using your imagination. She let his
voice guide her up and away on the wings of imagination, letting her get lost
in a magical tale. But somewhere between Duo’s honey-like voice and the sights
her mind was flooded with, Nora began to zone out a little. She drifted
elsewhere, leaving the sight of purple meadows and enchanted forests, and
flying towards somewhere else. It was like a part of her mind was left
listening to Duo, while another one detached from her body and took a trip
elsewhere, far away from that day, that age, that place.

She could see. Her eyes could
see. It was so bright. She was standing in a large, stylish kitchen. The
windows were open, allowing bright light to pour into the kitchen and paint the
colorful wallpaper with an even brighter shade. The light blue wallpaper was
decorated with small yellow flower and orange dots. The sight overwhelmed her.
There was so much color. Turning around she drank the sight of the kitchen
hungrily, from the yellowish cupboards, the creamy countertop and the shiny,
polished wooden floor. This was a good house, very fancy. Whoever lived here
made a lot of money.

The edges of the kitchen were
a little murky, like covered with fog. It slowly cleared, and so did her
confusion. When she could finally see the large dining table at the corner of
the kitchen, she suddenly knew to whom the house belonged. She had lived in it
for almost ten years now, ever since Hayashi got his promotion.

At the corner of the kitchen,
at each side of the grand dinner table, stood two large windows, overlooking
the garden. Green trees and soft yellow light created a game of light and
shadow outside the window, casting soft silhouettes over the polished wooden
table. A large mug of thick black coffee was raising steam up in the air as it
sat by a full plate at the head of the table. There were three plates in total,
all of them waiting for their guests. Her husband should be coming down soon.

And just as she thought of
her husband, he came down the stairs leading to the upper floor (it was a three
story house) and entered the kitchen. He was already leafing through his
morning paper, which got delivered to him every morning, scanning it from
behind his fashionable glasses. He was wearing a dark blue business suit,
looking as handsome as the day she first saw him. He smiled at her as he walked
to the dinning table, and she smiled back. Breakfast was already served to the
table, and all she had left to do was take the bread out of the toaster. She
placed it in a decorated blue bowl, straightened her lavender dress and walked
to the table.

Hayashi was already sipping
his coffee when she took a seat at the table. They exchanged glances for a
moment, smiling at each other, before turning to enjoy a quiet meal together.

“Smells delicious.” Her
husband commented with a smile as he put his newspaper down and turned to
examine his breakfast. He looked up at his wife, and then glanced to the left,
at the empty plate waiting there, along with a large glass full of orange
juice. He turned back to his wife with a questioning look. “Where’s—”

He didn’t even finish his
sentence when their son walked into the kitchen. The handsome teen flashed them
a bright smile as he ran a hand through his messy brown hair. He was dressed
sloppily, his school jacket hanging loosely over his shoulders, his shirt
tucked out of his pants. She knew without him saying so that he overslept.
Still he manages to look radiant and cheerful in the morning. His lovely smile
lighted his features and went deeply into his blue eyes. He was a charmer, her
son. The ladies fell at his feet for just that heavenly smile of his.

“Ohayou!” He greeted his
parents with a playful voice, and took his seat at the table. Without further a
due, he gulped his organ juice down.

“Hikari!” She rebuked him, a
scowl on her face though she was extremely amused. “Slow down!”

It was too late for he was already
finished. He placed the glass on the table and gave out a small chuckle. “Sorry
mom.” He apologized, his cobalt eyes shining with mischief.

“I sure hope you won’t behave
like this at the ball tomorrow.” Hayashi muttered, shaking his head before turning
to his newspaper.

“What ball? You said I didn’t
have to go anymore!” Hikari whined in his own unique teenager way, pouting his
lips before he turned to face her. She couldn’t help but chuckle. He was
sixteen-years-old and still as cute as he was the day he was born!

“Mom! Tell him! He said I
didn’t have to go to another stupid party!”

“Now, now, Hikari,” she began
to sooth him gently, “just this time. You know how important this is to your
father’s job. All of the ambassadors will be brining their children along.”

Hikari snorted and rolled his
eyes. “Great! Another stupid OZ-kiss-up party... sweet.” He scowled
angrily, crossing his hands over his chest. “This is unfair,” he accused, “I
promised Duo I’ll come over tonight!”

Something wasn’t right. Who
was Duo? Wait. She knew who Duo was. He was Heero’s lover. Heero? Yes, Heero.
There was no Hikari. There was Heero. He was her son. His name was Heero. But
Heero was not sixteen... he was almost twenty by now. Then why...? Because it
wasn’t real. A dream. She must have fallen asleep. It was a dream. Too bad,
though. It felt so real... For a moment she felt so happy to be a part of her
son’s life. To have him as a kid again, just for a brief while... She was sure
that Hayashi would have loved it too...

“...ora? Nora? Are you all
right? Nora?”

Duo’s voice slowly sipped
into her consciousness. He sounded worried. She opened her eyes, expecting to
see him leaning over her, but there was only black. Of course there was only
black. Only her dreams had color. She suddenly wondered how he looked like. She
didn’t have the nerve to ask him, but once she asked Heero about it, and her
son chuckled lightly before assuring her that his lover is as sexy as he
sounds. She could only take his word for it. /p>

She realized that he was
still calling her name, his tone anxious and worried. She forced herself to
smile at him, sitting up with great effort. “I’m sorry. I must have dozed off
for a second.” She muttered with a groan, finally settling into a sitting
position.

“It’s all right. I
understand.” He said with a sad little smile, settling back into his chair. “I
think we had enough reading for one day.” He muttered and placed the book on
her nightstand. He remained seated quietly, his hands in his lap and his numb
gaze at the floor.

“How’s Heero doing?” Nora
asked after a while of silence.

Duo sighed, shifting
uncomfortably in his seat. “He’s hanging in there.”

“I’m sure you’re doing your
best to take care of him.”

Duo snorted and crossed his
arms over his chest. “Yeah, sure. If he lets me.”

A sad smile touched Nora’s
lips, and then vanished. She bowed her head down and looked away. There was a
heavy silence, at which she seemed very thoughtful. Duo was almost sure that
she fell asleep, before she turned to him again.

“Duo, can I ask something of
you? A favor?” She asked, her blind blue eyes finding their way to his face,
looking at him intensely.

He swallowed, clearing the
lump from his throat. Her gaze was too intense to be blind. “S-sure. Anything.”

She smiled in gratitude, and
nodded her head. Taking a deep breath, she diverted her gaze for a moment
before turning to him again. “Take care of Heero after I’m gone. He’s going to
need you more than ever.”

His first response was a
weird little cough as he looked away. Her request made him very uneasy. It
stirred his heart in a painful way. It was a moment or two before he faced her
again, chuckling nervously. “Nora, don’t be silly. You’ll be fine.”

She just smiled warmly, her
eyes shining with some unrevealed knowledge. “I know. But just in case, all
right? Promise me?”

Duo sighed heavily, letting
his head hang down in defeat. “Sure, Nora. I promise.”

“Thank you, Duo.” She
whispered, her voice faltering a bit.

“But you should concentrate
on getting better!” Duo suddenly insisted, jerking his head up to look at her
fiercely. “Don’t give up so easily!”

Again that warm,
compassionate smile. It was the same look Heero gave him when he knew he was
going to break a promise. He knew that look. He hated it. It was the sweet,
innocent face of a lie.

“I’ve been sick for so long,
Duo... I let the cancer slowly eat me alive. There’s not much chance of
recovery, you know that.” She mumbled sadly, closing her eyes in shame. “I was
so stupid... wishing to die like that...”

She felt Duo reach for her
hand, and she turned to cup his warm hand in both her palms. She looked up and
smiled at him. “Heero will need you after I am gone. He might have come a long
way from the person he used to be, but he still needs an anchor, a guide, in
life.” She squeezed his hand tighter. “You’re the only one for him, Duo. I’m
sorry to bind you to someone at such an early age... you are only twenty... but
you see... I know that you two are meant for each other.”

“You don’t have to convince
me, Nora.” Duo whispered softly, his tone full of love and warmth. “You are not
binding me to anyone. I was bound to him from the moment we met. That was five
years ago, and my feelings did not change. I will not let him out of my sight
unless he’ll kill me.”

That earned him a small chuckle
from Nora. “And according to what he once told me, he nearly did!”

Duo also smiled, and slowly
pulled back. “Nah!” he said, waving his hand dismissingly, “he didn’t have the
heart!” And they both had a good-hearted laugh, venting out the pressure. The
air felt lighter after a few mirthful chuckles, and then Nora’s expression
became serious again.

“I know what you mean about
knowing when you’ve found your one and only. I met Hayashi when I was
twenty-one. Two months after we met I already knew that I wanted to live my
life with him. At twenty-three I was married and with a child.” She sighed
heavily and looked away, a hint of sadness and regret crossing her pale
features.

“My family insisted that I
was still too young, but I knew what I wanted. We drew apart because they were
against my marriage to Hayashi, a Colony-born and of Asian heritage. I went
against my father’s words and left Earth to live in the Colonies, along with my
husband. They saw me as a traitor, but I didn’t care. I was happy. Even when I
lost my eyesight, I didn’t regret a thing. I had a husband and a son, and the
two of them kept me happy.”

She sniffled, a few tears
rolling down her cheeks. “But I lost them, lost my happiness. I didn’t even
have a family to go back to. I didn’t want to bother Hayashi’s family, they
were mourning as well. I came back to Earth and just... did my best to
disappear... somehow... When I learned about the cancer, I was almost happy. I
grew tired of living, and the war didn’t hold any promise from me to die. No
battles occurred where I was, and in my condition it seemed impossible to go
out and seek death. This disease was my redemption.” She snorted bitterly and
buried her face in her hand. “Another stupid decision I made in my life...
keeping the disease that will be the end of me.”

“Nora...” Duo whispered, but
he had nothing to say. He thought it better to keep quiet. He laid his hand on
hers and simply listened.

“I holed up in my little dark
apartment and simply counted the months to my death. I was becoming more and
more bitter because it was taking longer than I thought. I even thought of
ending my life and getting it over with, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it.”
She sighed, shrugging. “And then... I met Heero. He turned my world upside
down. I didn’t want to die anymore. I had to make him happy. I just had
to!”

She turned to face Duo, her
eyes wide with wonder, as if she just realized something gravely important.
“From the moment I heard that quiet voice of his, I felt that there was
something about him. My heart opened up to him so quickly... I guess I knew
somewhere, deep down...” She chuckled and shook her head, quickly dismissing
the thought. “It’s ludicrous, I know, but I would like to think that... I don’t
know... Tell me, Duo, what is the purpose of our reunion if I am to die now? I
am beyond help, but what good will it do for Heero?”

Duo took a moment to breathe,
her long tale leaving a heavy feeling in his chest. He placed his hand on her
delicate shoulder. “I don’t know, Nora. I don’t know why you are to die now,
but I do know that you had a great role in Heero’s life. If not for you, I hate
to think what would have happened to him. He could have died or even kill
himself. You saved him, redeemed his soul somehow. That’s a whole lot of good from
one small meeting by chance.”

She was blushing, as she
always did when someone complimented her. Her eyes filled with tears, and she
had to cover her mouth with her fist to hold back a sob. She pulled away from
him, facing the other way, so she could compose herself.

“I just wish I didn’t have to
leave him now... it will break his heart.” She whispered pleadingly at thin
air, before whirling around to face Duo again. “I’m counting on you, Duo.
Please make him happy.”

He smiled, and then sniffled,
his violet eyes also tearful. “I’ll do my best.” He promised, his voice
faltering but his heart unwavering from its course.

*   *   *

The cityscape passed by in a
blur of gray, white and blue outside the car’s window. Heero’s numb blue eyes
took the sights in as he gazed out the passenger’s window in Duo’s car. He
looked up at where the tall skyscrapers kissed the sky, where little sheep-like
clouds crawled slowly through the summer skies. His eyes trailed lazily over
the sights speeding outside the car, looking in a detached manner at the crowds
walking the streets, the busy traffic and the colorful variety of shops.

When Duo stopped at a red
traffic light, he watched a young mother and her son cross the road together
hand in hand. She was carrying many shopping bags and he was licking an
ice-cream cone. They were happy, obviously unaware of other people’s sadness -
like the heavy grief residing in his heart. The boy’s eyes met with his as he
walked past Duo’s red car, somehow drawn to the deep sorrow in Heero’s cobalt
eyes. By the time the traffic light turned green and Duo drove on, Heero was
sure that the boy had already forgotten about him.

He sighed and closed his
eyes, leaning heavily into the passenger’s seat. He was terribly tired, even
after the long sleep Duo forced upon him. He didn’t have the strength to do
anything anymore. He didn’t argue with Duo when his lover forced him to eat a
large, nutritious breakfast. He didn’t even protest when Duo swept the car keys
and told him to get into the car. Usually he didn’t let Duo drive him to the
hospital, but he was too tired to argue. He was tired of everything lately.

Opening his eyes, Heero
turned to look at his lover. Duo was concentrated on driving, struggling
through the morning traffic. His features were haggard from lack of sleep, his
lips pouted in concentration. Heero couldn’t help but to smile a little. He
found it cute. His smile grew when Duo exhaled a forceful breath in an attempt
to push his bangs out of his eyes.

He allowed his eyes to wander
down Duo’s form, slowly trailing down his chest. He studied the way Duo’s
skin-tight shirt clung to his muscled torso, and the way its dark red color
matched Duo’s black jeans. His braid was lying over his chest, dangling down to
his knees. Heero watched it swing a little as Duo took a sharp turn. He could
also feel the car speed up drastically. Frowning, he turned to gaze out the windshield.

He looked up just in time to
see their car leave a large interchange and head straight into a great highway.
It didn’t take him long to recognize that they were now driving down the main
highway that led out of town.

Heero quickly straightened in
his seat. Looking back over his shoulder, behind the passenger seat, he could
see the city skyscrapers getting smaller and smaller. They were leaving town!

“Duo,” he called, whirling
back to face his lover, “where are you going? Turn the car back.”

Duo’s lips pressed into a
thin line as he hit the gas pedal and changed a lane. “You’re not going to the
hospital today, Heero.” He said, his tone harsh, beyond argument.

“Duo,” Heero nearly growled, though he was too tired to be
angry right now. “This is not funny. Turn the car back.” He thought for a
moment and then softly added, “Please.”

“No can do, lover-boy. We’re
miles past the exit.”

“Duo!” He called, desperate
this time. “Please turn the car back. I have to go to see Nora.”

A sneaky smile crept up Duo’s
lips. “Don’t worry, Hee-chan. I told her you wouldn’t be coming today.” He
said, looking briefly at his rearview mirror before changing lanes to by-pass a
slower car. “She said it was fine with her.”

“But...” Heero began, though
he had nothing to say. Defeated, he slumped back into his seat. He sighed and
closed his eyes, reaching a hand up to rub his tired eyes. “Where are we going?”
He finally asked, surrendering to his fate.

A softer smile graced Duo’s
lips this time. He turned to Heero, his eyes asking for a little faith. “You’ll
see.” He said. “Trust me on this one.”

So like with anything else,
Heero simply accepted. He tilted his head back and settled more comfortably
into his chair. He let his mind drift slowly to sleep, trusting Duo to lead him
to wherever they were heading.

*   *   *

He woke up when he felt the
car stop and the engine still. Opening his eyes, he blinked the sleep out of
them and turned to look around. He pulled himself up to sit properly, and gazed
out the front window. His eyes widened when he realized that the car was parked
inside a green forest, just ten meters or so from a huge, crystal blue lake.
The lake seemed to stretch into forever, the clear water sparkling under the
sunlight. There were only green trees surrounding the large lake, not a sign of
settlement around.

Heero snapped his mouth close
when he realized that he was gaping at the scenery.

Duo chuckled at the sight of
Heero’s stunned expression. “We’re here.” He said, carefully stepping out of
the car.

Heero was still too shocked
to move. He looked around, left and right, gazing out of all the windows. They
were deeply into the forest, not even a dirt road trailing behind them. He
didn’t even feel the bumpy ride. How the hell did Duo find this place?

He whirled his head back to
look out the windshield, and spotted Duo walking away from the car, stretching
his arms over his head.

Sighing heavily, Heero also
stepped out of the car. There was a crunchy cracking sound when he laid his
feet over the dried pine-leaves scattered on the ground. They crackled a small
melody as he stood up, leaning against the red car’s door.

He took a deep breath,
inhaling the clean air of the forest into his lungs. He nearly forgot how
nature smelled like. The air was fresh and crispy, carrying the sweet scent of
summer. He could feel the soft rays of the sun tingle his skin, and looked up
to see the yellow light filter through a mask of green branches. He watched the
wind tousle the heavy leaves, playing with the branches as it skipped from tree
to tree.

Looking down, he watched the
sun twinkle over the waves in the lake, and the wind caressed the bluish water.
The air was filled with songs of birds, the sounds of the forest. It was so
quiet. Peaceful. A blessing to ears that were used to the constant hum of the
city.

He could feel Duo’s gaze on
him, and he could sense that smile of his without even looking. He sighed to
himself, and turned to look at his lover. He offered him a small, apologetic
smile.

“This is very beautiful, Duo,
but... I need to go back.” He said in a small, wavering voice. His eyes
shimmered in sorrow, he knew he was hurting his lover, but he felt that he
shouldn’t be here. Duo should understand, right?

But his lover only stood in
his spot, and turned to face the lake. He was still stretching his arms,
folding one arm over his head and then switching hands.

“I’m sorry, Heero, but I’m
afraid that we’re gonna be here for a while.”

“Duo, please.” Heero tried
again, taking a few steps towards his lover. Duo only continued his exercise,
bending his body to the left and then to the right. His back was still facing
Heero.

“Sorry, man, but I didn’t drive
for three and half hours so you could tell me to make a u-turn and drive back.”

“Then you shouldn’t have
brought me here in the first place!” Heero growled, crossing his arms over his
chest. He glared at Duo’s back, his anger boiling.

Duo turned around and offered
him a big, dazzling, smile. “You’re going to stay here if you like it or not.”
he said, shrugging, “Might as well enjoy it.”

Heero rolled his eyes and
puffed air out of his lungs, pushing his bangs up. He glared at Duo a second
more, before ‘tsking’ loudly and storming back towards the car. “Fine. You can
stay. I’m leaving!” He growled, and stomped into the car.

Fuming with anger, he slammed
the door behind him and yanked the seatbelt. He reached a hand to turn the
switch on, only to find out that there were no car keys. Growling in
frustration, he ran a frantic search through the dashboard and glove
compartment. He searched above the driver’s seat, inside the car visor,
everywhere. Nothing.

Frustrated, he punched the
steering wheel and groaned in annoyance. Looking up, he saw Duo sitting over
the engine hood, grinning like an idiot and waving the car keys at him.

With a groan, he slammed his
head on the steering wheel so hard that he blew the horn. He took a moment to
just relax and breathe, composing himself, before he stepped out of the car and
slammed the door shut behind him. Glaring at Duo, he crossed his arms over his
chest and came to stand in front of him.

“Fine. You win.” He muttered,
his tone accusing. “Now what?”

Duo smiled victoriously and
threw an arm over Heero’s shoulder. “Go fetch your gear, lover-boy, cuz we’re
going camping!”

*   *   *

By the end of the day, Heero forgot about ever wishing to
leave that place. They strolled the hidden pine trails of the forest together,
climbing mountains and exploring valleys. They wallked between green trees and
tall canyons. They found a small waterfall at the side of a mountain, which was
hidden behind a few cliffs and heavy vegetation. The discovery filled their
heart with some great, unknown feeling. They found a place on Earth only the
two of them knew about. A special place, beautiful and green, that was theirs
only. They kissed passionately by the raging white torrents of the waterfall,
the loud furious sound of the rushing water guiding their kiss with an intense
rhythm, adding to thier crazed passion.

They made their way back to the lake when the sun no
longer filtered so strongly through the trees. They settled down by the lake
late in the afternoon and simply lay on the warm sand at its shore. Kicking
their shoes off and wiggling their toes against the soft sand, they took a few
long minutes to just stare together at the clouds.

At sunset, when the lake was washed with golden colors and
stains of pale pink and blue, they sat by the quiet water, and did some
fishing. They made a bet about who will catch a bigger fish. Duo lost and
therefore he had to go fetch the wood for their campfire.

They set a small camp by the lake, leaving the car behind
them in the forest. Duo spread a large sleeping bag, big enough for two, over
the soft sand, by the campfire. The two grilled their fish over the fire, and
then enjoyed a quiet meal together. They helped themselves to a drink or two,
which placed them both a in a cheerful and playful mood.

A while later, Heero found himself lying on his back,
sprawled over the sleeping bag, laughing until he was out of air because of
Duo’s tickle-attack. His mind was warm from the beer he drank, and his mood was
giddy from the entire enjoyable day. Heero soon found himself playing along,
tickling back. The two rolled over the sleeping bag like two cubs playing,
tickling each other in a mischievous contest.

Heero couldn’t have been more grateful for each little
sound of laughter Duo coaxed out of him. He had nearly forgotten how to laugh.
It was like that day brought him back to life. He felt energized for the first
time in months. His body ached from so much walking and climbing, and yet he
couldn’t remember feeling this good for such a long time.

At some point the two of them
ended up atop of each other, panting harshly after much effort. They lasted
only two seconds, at which they simply panted and looked into each other’s
eyes, before launching into a passionate kiss. They rolled over the sleeping
bag, enthused by their passion. Their hands moved around frantically, touching
the other desperately.

When they finally calmed,
they simply lay there, sprawled over the thick sleeping bag. They lay on their
backs, close enough to feel the other’s body heat, and gazed up at the stars.

The skies were a pitch,
velvet black, sprinkled with thousands of glittering silver dots. The stars
twinkled down at their wondering eyes, as if offering a playful wink. Heero imagined
that they were trying to encourage him, somehow trying to make him feel better.
‘You deserve it’, one star said with a wink. Heero found it rather odd that the
star sounded an awful lot like Nora.

Another pair of stars
reminded him of Duo’s eyes, how they sparkled when he laughed. They were
smiling at him too, spreading a warm feeling in his heart. They reminded him
how much he loved Duo. How he loved him to the very core of his soul.

Smiling to himself, Heero turned
to lie on his side so he could face Duo. His braided lover appeared to be deep
in though, gazing at the stars. His eyes shone with a serious gleam, almost
brooding, amethyst orbs shimmering under the starlight.

Heero draped his arm over Duo’s
broad chest, counted a few heartbeats and then leaned to whisper in his ear. “What
are you thinking about?”

Duo blinked when Heero’s
whisper caressed his ear, as if coming out of a trance. He turned his head to
look down at the boy lying by his side, and offered him a warm smile. “Nothing too
important.” He said, though his honey-like voice sounded a bit strained. Heero
leaned closer to kiss Duo’s soft cheek, and then bowed his head so he could
tuck it under Duo’s chin. He let his head rest over Duo’s chest, listening to
his breath.

He suddenly realized that
there were a lot of dark, slimy demons roaming around Duo’s head. His own
demons left him a while ago, and only paid him infrequent visits. When Duo and
he spoke about it, lying curled by one another in the darkness of the night, Duo
rarely spoke of his own demons. He said that he already dealt with them in the
two years after the war. That’s why he went back to space, to clear his head
from the cruelty of war.

But maybe it didn’t work. Perhaps
those two years were not enough. How could he have dealt with everything all on
his own? It was impossible, Heero knew from experience. There were still demons
there, he realized. Maybe Duo didn’t see smiling stars when he looked up at the
heavens. Maybe all he saw were dead husks of burnt mobile suits that still
littered outer space. That thought saddened Heero. He hugged Duo harder, as if
trying to wring all of his misery out.

“Gomen, Duo. I’ve been so
insensitive.” He whispered, closing his eyes in shame. He shivered when he felt
Duo’s warm arm sneak around him, holding him gently.

“Why is that?” Duo whispered
softly.

“You
never talk,” Heero mumbled, “you always listen but you never talk.”

Duo
sighed heavily, turning his gaze back up, watching the dark skies. “You already
know everything there is to know about me, Heero. I don’t hide anything from
you.”

“You
hide your pain,” Heero stated bitterly, “just like Nora did. She hid it so well
I could never see it. I was the actual blind man among us.” He blinked away a
few tears and whispered, “I don’t want to be blind to your pain.”

He didn’t have the courage to
turn his head around and see the look on Duo’s face. To see the disappointm in in his eyes. He had just realized how much pain Duo was holding inside him, how
hard he worked to hide it. Just like Nora did. Even when she didn’t smile at
him, even when her mood was down, he never saw the full extent of her pain. He
never knew of the many tears she held behind her blue eyes.

Duo’s eyes were tame.ame. They
could show you the glint of a smile, but never the blackness that ate him from
the inside. And that blackness was there, he was sure of it. He wanted to chase
it away with all the love that he held in his heart. He will not be blind to it
any longer. He might have failed Nora, but he will not repeat the same mistake
twice.

“You open up to me, and yet
there’s so much you hold back from me. Why is that? Why won’t you let me help you?
I really think that I can.” He said, turning to face Duo with pleading eyes.
The cobalt orbs shimmered in the dark, the glittering tears begging Duo to give
him an honest answer. “I love you, Duo. Why can’t I help you?”

He didn’t expect to see a
big, heartwarming smile touch Duo’s lips. His lover was looking at him with absolute
love and admiration, his violet eyes shining brightly.

“You do help me, Heero.” Duo
whispered gently, and leaned down to kiss Heero’s sweet lips. “More than you
know.” He turned to look into his eyes, his smile never wavering.

“I don’t need anything but your
love. It is more than I could ever ask for. All I have to do is hold you and my
pain disappears. I don’t hide anything from you, Heero.” He paused, thinking
for a moment before adding, “And even if I do cry, from time to time, it’s all
right. I know you’re always there for me when I need you, and that knowledge is
enough to help me deal with my pain.”

Heero smiled a little, and
Duo offered a small kiss to his nose.

“I might hide little things
from you,” he said with a small chuckle, “like that time when I ate that apple
pie Nora made for you... and you got all grumpy about it that I didn’t have the
heart to tell you...” He snickered and Heero glared. The two laughed together,
before Duo continued seriously. He held Heero close to him, looking deeply into
his eyes. His voice was full of determination when he spoke.

“You don’t have to worry about
being blind to my pain. I will never hide what’s in my heart, Heero. That will
be a lie and denying my love for you.” He smiled softly, and reached a hand to
caress Heero’s fine hair. He petted his cheek softly, his eyes shining lovingly
at his blue-eyed love. “The reason I don’t show my pain to you, is because
there is no pain. Not when I’m around you.”

Heero didn’t seem convinced
at first, but then he thought of the comfort he got when he was around Duo or Nora.
Of the way everything seemed easier, his heart felt lighter, when he was with
them. Perhaps Duo felt the same towards him.

Smiling, Heero looked up to
meet Duo’s eyes. He pushed himself up a bit so he could kiss Duo, a sweet brush
of his lips against Duo’s. They parted, and Heero drew back, his eyes drowning
in Duo’s earnest expression.

“Promise me that if it hurts,
you’ll tell me about it.” He asked slowly, carefully.

“I promised.” Duo whispered,
his voice honest and warm. “And you do the same so we can help each other out, okay?
There are some rough times ahead of us, I’m sure you know that, and I don’t
want you to think that you must go through this alone.”

Again Heero couldn’t help but
smiling. Every word that Duo said wrapped around his heart and left him
tingling with warmth. He loved him so much!

“Aa. I promise.” He whispered
back, leaning down to hug Duo. The two curled inside the sleeping bag, sinking
into a warm, blissful slumber.

* *   *

Dawn painted the lake in a mixture
of soft colors. Mellow pinks, heavenly cerulean blue, soft yellow and
highlights of gold. The morning skies were a grand display of calm colors. A
few birds cut through the heavens in an early morning flight. The green forest
was silent and still, only now and then a few twittering of birds interrupting
the silence. The lake was mirror-still, reflecting the green surrounding and the
colorful sky.

The air was chilly and crisp,
carrying the sweet scent of summer blossoming. A soft breeze carried the clouds
on its wings, helping them make their journey throughout the heavens.

Down by the lake, on its
golden shore, the last little sparks of fire burnt within fading cinders. The final signals of smoke ascended
from the small campfire, fading into thin air with a silent hiss.

Up in the horizon, behind green mountains and lush treetops,
the sun was crawling up lazily. It carefully reached its warm, golden rays to greet
the new day with a warm and loving embrace. It wasn’t long before the golden
sphere peeked over the trees of the forest, trying to pour the soft light over the
lake they protected.

The golden rays finally found their way to the large,
double, sleeping bag that lay on the lake’s shore, by the dying campfire. The
sun seemed to be glowing brighter, as if happy to find someone out here to
caress. It reached its warm rays down and washed over the two boys sleeping
curled inside the sleeping bag.

Birds slowly came to life, flying across the lake and
hopping from tree to tree. They twittered happily in light of the new day,
chanting cheerfully as they spread their wings to fly. The noise didn’t bother
Heero, didn’t even make him stir in his sleep, but rather the feeling of sudden
chill that attacked him was the one to finally bring him into awareness.

Yawning lazily, he stretching inside the warm sleeping
bag, stretching his limbs like a cat. He slowly opened his eyes and blinked the
sleep away. Rolling over to lie on his back, he took a few long moments to just
gaze up at the colorful sky. It was so beautiful that he couldn’t help smiling.
Inhaling the fresh air deeply into his lungs, Heero closed his eyes and
indulged in the feeling of nature. This had been the best sleep he had in
months. It was probably the most fulfilling, pleasant, enlivening sleep he had
in his entire life.

Moaning sleepily, like a lazy boy who refused to wake up
for school, Heero snuggled into the warm sleeping bag again, trying to buy a
few more moments of sleep. His hands automatically reached up and searched for
Duo. His eyes flew wide open again when he finally realized that Duo’s warm
body was not where it was supposed to be.

Frowning, Heero sat up and took a look around. He saw a
bird flying swiftly out of the forest and bounce over the lake, disturbing the
still water. The ripples grew bigger and bigger, and he followed them, until
his eyes caught sight of his lover, bathing in the lake.

A warm smile slipped gracefully over Heero’s lips. He shook
his head in slight amusement, and crawled out of the sleeping bag. A small
chill climbed up his spine when he placed his bare feet over the cool sand. The
sand was not too cold, and he quickly got used to it. He made his way down to
the shoreline.

He spotted Duo’s clothes thrown carelessly on a rock by
the water. The boy’s socks, underwear and shoes were also there. Looking up,
his breath was stolen at the sight of his lover.

Duo was standing where the water reached up to his chest,
small waves moving around his naked torso. His long chestnut hair was unbound, floating
around him in a circle, like a blossoming water lily. The sight filled his
heart with warm mush, making him smile goofily. He stood there, watching, as
Duo moved about in the water, his long hair trailing gracefully behind him,
floating left or right, depending on where Duo went.

He would have stood there for an eternity, if Duo hadn’t
noticed him. The longhaired boy noticed that he was being watched, and quickly
turned around to face the shore, his hair imitating his every move. His eyes
met with Heero’s, and he smiled.

“Heya, lover. Good morning.” He called with a pleasant
smile, waving at his boyfriend.

Heero smiled in return. “Ohayou, Duo.” He said, and
prepared to take a seat on a nearby rock.

“Hey, Heero, you gotta come in. The water’s great!” Duo said
cheerfully, gesturing Heero to join him. “You have GOT to try this
skinny-dipping thing!”

Heero frowned, making a sour face. “I don’t think so, Duo.
Thank you.”

“Ah, c’mon! I’m telling ya- it’s great! I never felt so
free in my LIFE!”

Heero rolled his eyes. “I doubt that.”

“Oh, Heero! C’mon! You know you’re gonna like it!” Duo
whined, pouting his lips like a small child. “What, you’re gonna let me swim
naked here all by myself? It kinda takes the fun out of it all...”

“I thought you said you’re having the ‘time of your life’.”
Heero reminded him, as he already stood up and prepared to take his sweatshirt
off. “Then what do you need me for?” He finished with a smirk, throwing his
shirt aside.

Duo grinned, his eyes glued to his lover’s muscled torso. “Oh,
I need you all right.” He growled playfully, watching Heero as the boy wriggled
out of his pants as well. He smiled when Heero was finally standing by the
water with only a pair of simple white briefs, looking at the water in
hesitation.

“Isn’t it cold?” Heero asked, testing the water with his
toe.

Duo shrugged and tilted his head back, dipping his hair
deeper into the water. “Nah, you get used to it pretty quickly.”

“You’re joking.” Heero muttered, taking a step back after
dipping his right foot into the freezing water. He turned to look up at Duo. “I’m
going to freeze my balls off!”

Duo laughed well heartedly,
shaking his head in amusement. There was just something very funny about
hearing Heero saying something like ‘balls’! It made him giggle like a little
kid.

“C’mon, scaredy-cat! I dare
you take a dive into the water!” He called teasingly, grinning for all he was
worth.

As to be expected, Heero didn’t
back off from a challenge. In a matter of seconds, he was drenched from head to
toe, standing in front of Duo with Goosebumps all over him and his teeth
chattering.

“H-here,” he growled, teeth
chattering, “H-hap-p-y?”

Duo laughed and gave him a
playful pat on the back. “Couldn’t be happier, lover-boy!” He announced with pride.
“Well, unless you take those silly underwear off.”

Heero glared and Duo ignored
it. “Hey! They don’t hide much anyway, do they? C’mon! Be a sport!” And he
reached a hand underwater to tug at Heero’s waistband.

“Baka.” Heero muttered, emphasizing
his words with a playful smack. He then sighed dramatically and took the briefs
off as well. He threw them away in the general direction of the shore, probably
missing it by a few meters, and then turned back to Duo. The two merely looked
at each other, until all of a sudden, Heero smiled.

“What?” Duo asked, quirking
an eyebrow.

Heero’s smile only spread
wider, like melting chocolate. “You were right. This is very releasing.”

pt'>“Ha!” Duo gave out a small
laugh, which soon turned into a fit of laughter. “See! I told you so!” He said,
before launching at his lover and dunking him into the lake. Unfortunately for
him, Heero was quick enough to grab him by his forearms and pull him down with
him.

The two began a fierce water
fight, splashing about in the lake like children, their laughter filling the
clear forest air. When the playful mood left them, the two naked boys remained
standing in the soft-blue water, simply looking at each other.

Standing before Duo, still
panting from their game, Heero ran his eyes over his lover, appreciating the sight
before him. Duo was also panting, his chest heaving up and down as clear drops
of water caressed his skin on their way down his body. His chestnut hair was
floating all around him in a large circle, the edges of the lush strings
touching his own skin.

He looked up again and met Duo’s
eyes. A moment of embarrassment brushed over both boys as they realized that
they had been watching each other like that, noting every little erotic detail.
Heero swallowed, and he saw Duo do the same. Underwater, he was beginning to be
aroused.

Slowly, carefully, Heero
reached a hand down to touch the hair floating around Duo. He took a handful of
wet hairs in his palm and ran them between his fingers. They felt rough when
they were wet, the lake’s water not doing them justice. He raised his treasure
up to his face, pressing the lush hairs to his cheek and inhaling deeply. Closing
his eyes, he took in their sweet scent, the same familiar shampoo fragrance he
knew so well.

When he opened his eyes
again, he saw Duo gazing adoringly at him. He smiled sheepishly in return, and carefully
placed the handful of hairs back in the water.

Duo reached a hand up to
caress his face, brushing his wet bangs aside to reveal his face. He pushed
them up over Heero’s head, exposing his lover’s features as if for the first
time. Heero smiled at him softly, and when the usual mop of hair that hid his
face was absent, Heero’s smile made him glow even more.

Duo leaned forward to capture
Heero’s lips in a kiss. The boy’s mouth was warm compared to the cold water that
chilled his skin. He tasted sweet, like nature, making Duo hungry for more. He gathered
Heero into a tight embrace, pressing their naked bodies together. He smiled against
Heero’s mouth when he felt that he was not the only one aroused by this.

They kissed long and deep,
pouring their passion into each other’s mouths. When they began grounding their
bodies against one another, they decided to leave the chilly water and ran to
shore. They collapsed onto their sleeping bag, already kissing and groping each
other.

Their passion was intense. Their
mouths were hungry to taste, their fingers aching to explore. Unlike their previous
sexual encounter, there was burning lust rather than a gentle rhythm. They were
hungry for each other, eager to feel the other’s body. Wild heartbeats, harsh
panting and frantic limps portrayed their passion. Their union was almost feral, the intensity
of their desire overwhelming.

Duo’s tongue traveled up and
down Heero’s body, while his hands touched him everywhere. There wasn’t a part
of his skin that was not caressed or kissed. Heero’s body burned with crazed
delight, his senses overloaded. When Duo’s hot mouth closed around his aching arousal,
he gave out such a scream that the entire forest shook. A few birds rose up to
the air in panic.

Heero noticed none of that. All
he knew was the overflowing white pleasure washing over him. The wet, moist
haven that his cock was thrusting into. His knees buckled as he pushing himself
off the sleeping bag and into Duo’s mouth. He was so close to the edge, so
close to exploding, but instead of giving into his desire, he raised a shaking
hand up and placed it on Duo’s shoulder. Panting harshly, he asked him to stop.

Duo did217;217;t hesitate. He
quickly withdrew, turning a sorrowful pair of eyes towards his lover. “What?
What’s wrong, Hee-chan? I didn’t hurt you, did I?” He asked, and immediately
came to Heero’s side, lying by him on the sleeping bag. “I’m sorry.” He
whispered, looking down at him with anguished eyes. “I’m sorry.Ro:p>o:p>

Still panting, Heero turned
to look at Duo, his cobalt eyes shining brightly. He smiled kindly at him. “It’s
not that, baka.” He whispered softly, caressing Duo’s damp hair. “I don’t want
to come yet. I want to come when you’re inside me.” He said, smiling
sheepishly.

Realization dawned on him
like a bright light, which shone in his eyes. He gave Heero a sly smile, his anguish
forgotten. “I think we can do something about that.” He said, and reached a
hand backwards, where their gear lay inside a duffle. He pulled out a barely
used lube out of the bag and turned back to Heero.
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Behind Blue Eyes