For Life and Death

For Life and Death
By: Kichi

DISCLAIMER: Akira Toriyama owns Dragonball Z and all it\'s characters.

Chapter 4 - Reaction

She hadn\'t said anything yet, and it was making him angry. He wanted to leave,
to be alone and keep his last shred of dignity before he totally lost it. He stood and
grabbed Bulma\'s wrists to pry her off of him.
\"No! What are you doing! Vegeta, don\'t leave!\" she cried squeezing him tighter.
\"Bulma.\" He said softly. \"Let me go.\"
\"No!\" she cried, \"Where are you going? Why do you have to go! It doesn\'t
matter to me! I won\'t say anything.\" He abruptly turned and she flinched at the
murderous glare directed at her.
\"Please. Let. Me. Go.\" He ground out. He inwardly winced as tears slipped down
her cheeks but his face remained expressionless. She slowly dropped her arms and
stepped back.
\"Will you come back?\" she asked quietly.
\"Yes.\" He hissed and was gone. She watched his ki-trail fade into the distance,
then wiped her tears and went back inside.

He was flying so fast that he could barely see for the wind in his eyes. He felt a
sob threatening to tear from his throat and cursed his weakness but knew it had been
bottled up for far too long. He appreciated the fact that Bulma wanted to help, but he
needed to be alone. He didn\'t want her to see what was about to happen.
His whole body was vibrating from suppressed emotion. He spotted a small
island off the coast of Japan and quickly landed. It was larger that Kame Sennin\'s tiny
little rock that only fit his ugly, pink house. And there was a large mass of trees
surrounding a small, inactive volcano. He sat down on the shore and a hiccupping gasp
tore from his lips immediately followed by a deluge of tears. He clenched his teeth and
groaned as he tugged his thick, spiky locks.
Damn it, damn it, damn it!! Why this? Why now? How long had it been? At
least fifteen years! And he had rarely thought about it in the past ten. He cursed the
bond. Even now she was probably sitting at home, crying her eyes out because of his
emotions. Even alone on a deserted island, he couldn\'t really let go and let all the pain
and hate pour out. He just couldn\'t do it. He was shaking from the force of trying to
silence his cries and stop the shameful flow of tears. And it was only making him feel
more wretched. His head was starting to throb from the strain.
And it wasn\'t because of Bulma. The onna could cry buckets of tears and think
nothing of it. He just couldn\'t let go. But he was quickly losing the battle. It wasn\'t
enough that Frieza had destroyed his entire race and planet. Or that he\'d played stupid
mind games with not only him, but everyone in his command. Or the fact that he was
treated no better than cannon-fodder. He couldn\'t really complain about all the beatings,
after all they had made him stronger. But he took something he could never replace, and
replaced it with shame and self-hatred. He\'d taken his innocence (as innocent as a Saiyan
child could be), and nearly all self-respect and esteem.
How many years had he felt like he was dying inside? How many times had he
slept to escape the pain? How many times did he refuse to eat because the food was like
ashes in his mouth? It wasn\'t very long, because he\'d realized that taking his pain out on
everyone else was so much more satisfying.
How long had it been since he\'d just grabbed a random idiot and pummeled him
to death just because he was angry and they were there? He gasped harshly when he
realized his nose was too stuffed to draw air through. He reached up to wipe away the
tears, but the flow continued so he let them slide down his smooth skin.
He felt a cry welling up in his throat as he remembered Frieza saying: \"Suck my
dick, monkey.\" And he\'d bbothboth horrified and stunned. At the time he hadn\'t even
known it was something people did. When he\'d frantically shook his head: \"No.\" Frieza
had beaten him within an inch of his life and had ejaculated on his small, broken body,
laughing the whole while.
He groaned, pounding his fists into the soft sand. This was why he\'d
wanted to forget. It was impossible to block the memories now. At last he couldn\'t hold
it in anymore and completely succumbed to his grief, wailing and kicking his feet like a
child.
Slowly he began to calm and he felt all his strength drain away. It seemed a
monumental task to lift his head from the sand, let alone fly back to CC. The cool, ocean
breeze felt soothing on his over-heated skin and soon he was enwrapped in a dreamless
slumber.

Bulma stared at the clock. It was after 3 AM and still no sign of Vegeta. She was
really starting to worry and she was feeling overly emotional. What was he doing? Was
he alright? Was he really going to come back? She should have kept her mouth shut and
not said anything. He would have insisted she tell him anyway, but.. anything was better
than this. She gnawed her lower lip and gasped as sudden pain lanced through her skull.
The pain vanished to be replaced by the most horrible pain and sadness she\'d ever felt.
Without warning, she began to weep.
\"Vegeta, come home!\" she sniffled.


OK peeps! I know this is short but I\'m updating two days in a row! Yee ha! And
there is a reason it\'s so short. It\'s the way it had to be!