Furry Madness

Part 5


Edward had locked himself in a bathroom. He’d intended to sulk his embarrassment away, but ended up flipping through the album instead, grunting comments as he went. “Like hell I’d do that, stupid Colonel…he should have known it wasn’t me. “

Some pictures were of Envy-Edward playing with a champagne bottle, emptying it over his blond hair and in his face and making…interesting expressions at the camera. Edward wondered if he was actually capable of looking that sultry. Anyway, the point was, Roy had probably thought Ed bad been drunk to boot. After all he had never shown any sign of embarrassment or lust toward Roy, as if he didn’t remember, while it was just because he hadn’t known about this album’s existence. That bastard shouldn’t have kept it then!

Edward flipped a page and made a horrified face at was his look-alike was now doing to the empty bottle. “Ew, you psycho!” He shut the book and spent a while staring in the air. He would have liked to burn this thing, or throw it away, or something. But all the same, he kind of wanted to keep it. He looked damn good. Or Envy made him look good. Either way, he could probably learn from this. If Mustang had kept it, it was a weakness of his, right?

Sometimes Edward was just desperate for anything that’d give him an edge over the smug bastard. He’d seen Mustang manipulate girls with his looks, and he’s also seen girls distract him with their long naked legs. So maybe there was something to explore in there if that pervert thought him attractive.

The boy stretched over the counter, examining his face in the mirror. He tried to copy the lustful expression Envy had made him wear, with his lips parted and his gold eyes peering from under his lashes. Mm. Not bad. And he thought the furry ears, currently oriented behind him, looked just perfect. It was the first time he actually saw them. They looked soft, and he knew they were. Alphonse was colored sandy, while he was more of an orange color.

The blond heard Havoc stride down the corridor. “Edward? We have a problem. Your brother is going to try to kill Mustang.”

Ed turned around and snarled at the door. “Why is that a problem? I’m all for it!”

“Well there’s the part where Roy will snap his fingers and set your brother and the house on fire.”

“…I’m going.” He came out after tucking the photo book in his back in a transmuted new pocket. He wasn’t sorry to see the bloody marks of his claws on Havoc’s neck. The solider had asked for it. He tried not to linger on the thought that said soldier now had a very precise idea of what he looked like without clothes. Oh goddamnit… Ed flattened his ears in warning. One word, just one… Havoc understood perfectly.

It was easy to find Al and Roy, they were smelling so, well, male. It made Edward want to fight Roy for territory, which was ridiculous. This was the man’s house. He also heard them growl and snarl much in advance. He worried when he heard something crash and his brother yelp. He emerged outside in the backyard and watched a grown man and a – usually reasonable - teenager roll around in the grass like the mad cats they half were. They had knocked over a bird fountain, which was now lying broken, water soaking the grass and the two catboys rolling in it. They were wet and they were clutching and biting one another.

“What the fuck?” Edward demanded. “Are you two fighting or making out?!”

The pair paused, Al currently on top. “I believe we were fighting,” said Roy, grumpily. “Note the claw and teeth marks all over me. Unless Alphonse considers this lovemaking.” He glanced up, raising an eyebrow wonderingly.

Al mewed and jumped back, blushing. “We weren’t doing anything of the sort! We...just…” Unable to find words, he simply hissed.

Edward eyed their shredded shirts and snorted. “At least nothing’s burned.”

“Only because he dropped the fountain on my head,” explained Roy.

“Did not. It almost fell on me.”

“Only because I tried to move out of the way.”

“Oh, please, don’t be kids now.” Ed sat on the porch to lap at his paw-size hand. It just felt like the right thing to do.

“Like you can talk, Fullmetal.”

“He started it, Niisan!”

“Forget it, Al. I don’t care.” Well he did, but Mustang didn’t need to know.

When Alphonse and Roy were done being hostile to each other, they pulled off their ruined shirts. Ed was very satisfied to note Alphonse had apparently been winning. His brother had bitten through the soldier’s uniform to attack the white shirt underneath.

As they stripped down, Edward noticed they didn’t only have ears, a tail and hands that looked more like paws. They also had fur. He hadn’t noticed before because everybody wore covering outfits and nobody had have fur in their faces. But they had some lower. Edward stared at Roy; he had black fur from his wrists to his shoulders, where it slowly faded to leave his stomach bare, running down his sides instead. There was also a hint of fur at the waistband of his pants, crawling a little higher to reach his navel.

Roy noted Ed stared at him so the boy asked, “Is there fur all over your…lower body?”

“There is,” confirmed Mustang. “You hadn’t noticed? I’d think you would have with tight pants like yours.”

“Well it would explain why I feel itchy,” admitted Ed. “But I hadn’t thought of that.” He had been busy hating the Colonel after all.

Alphonse’s fur followed the same pattern, only with sandy fur. He looked more like a lion cub than a kitten.

A loud bang tore Edward attention away from the half cats and behind him at the closed glass door. It was cracked for some reason. Hawkeye pulled it open, looking dizzy.

“Hawkeye,” began Roy. “Did I just see you run into the door?”

“I…yes. I hadn’t seen it.”

“And you were running because?” slowly inquired Roy.

The woman turned red, swaying on her feet. Edward didn’t complain when she landed a hand on his shoulder for support. “I’m sorry. I just saw the sky and I wanted to go outside stretch my wings.”

Mustang strode to her. “Sit down. You might have a concussion. I’m surprised you aren’t bleeding.”

“You have fur,” the woman said, dumbly, to Roy when she was offered a cup of water a few seconds later.

“We all do it seems.”

“Well…I have feathers,” she offered.

Ed perked, the alchemist in him taking notes. “Where? I mean…many?”

“As far as I can tell right now, everywhere. But they are shorter on my chest and stomach.”

“Interesting.”

Hawkeye was a bird, yet none of the felines even had the shadow of a thought about attacking her. She might have been a bird, she was still Hawkeye. And you did not bother Hawkeye. She had impressive shooting skills and no qualms about using them.

“I’m calling Hughes,” announced Roy, stalking to the kitchen phone. A few seconds later, he was snarling; “Hughes, NOT NOW. We have a situation here. Our…instincts are getting out of hands. Hawkeye ran into a window. I had a catfight with Alphonse. Havoc can’t keep out of garbage cans. Somebody gnawed on my expensive couch. I’m only grateful they all remember how to use the bathroom!” He listened a long moment, his tail swinging slower and slower. “Alright. Sounds good. Tell Darkness she can call Fullmetal anytime if she needs help. Tonight? Sure. Bring tuna. Later.” The man sighed and explained to the others what he’d just heard. “They think it’ll be over by tomorrow night.”

“What’s about tonight?” inquired Edward. “I heard something about tuna.”

“Hughes wants to spend the night here. He’ll come around when he’s done working and bring some decent food.”

Alphonse purred. “Mmm, tuna.”