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Tourniquet	By : DementedGosip Category: Gundam Wing/AC > Yaoi - Male/Male Views: 982 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing/AC, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 4
- 5
- 6
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~*~Tourniquet~*~

"How is he miss?" Quatre, Wufei, and Trowa had
been in the waiting room for some time now, frustrated that they
couldn't
just go back in there and see Heero. They were even more annoyed by the
fact that even though Duo had woken up, they were asking him questions
so he was not able to be here just yet when they let them back in to
see
Heero.

"Well, he's still physically alright, a little
weakened from the coma and he's going to need to take drinking
slowly.(1)
But tomorrow morning we're going to give him a psyche evaluation, and
as
you know, we're going to have him on a suicide watch while he's staying
here." The nurse smiled at them as if everything was all better, but
they
knew better, they knew not to take her fake comfort. Heero was not
alright,
he was not well. This was not one little hospital trip that would end
everything
once they left; no, this was a life long issue. This was something that
would now always be a part of them, something that may not help Heero
in
the least.

"Can we go see him now then?" It probably would
have been a surprise to see how worried Trowa and co. were for Heero.

"Well, you can go in there one at a time, but
he's sleeping now, so do try not to wake him, hm?"

Quatre was the first to speak after the nurse
walked away. "Wufei, you go see him first, Trowa and I are gonna go see
where Duo's run off to, alright?"

"Of course."

Quatre and Trowa walked up to a nurse and started
to follow her through a door after a brief conversation and Wufei took
a few deep breaths before walking down the halls to the room Quatre had
told him how to get to. It really was quite a site for one's
imagination:
to see someone so dear lying in a hospital bed, cords and machines
hooked
up and beeping…

~~oOo~~

(Heero POV)

"Heero?" Can't he see I' sleeping? Okay, well,
maybe I'm not sleeping, but it looks like it damn it. "Heero, can you
hear
me?" Why the hell wouldn't I be able to?

"Of course I can, I didn't cut off my ears you
know." Okay, so maybe humor isn't the best thing to use in this
situation.
I opened my eyes just in time to see him scowl at my comment. Damn.

"Heero. *sigh*" What the fuck was that? It's
not like he cares, what he's doing now is evident enough of that! What
right does he think he has to get all huffy on me?! Maybe I should hold
my breath now until I pass out, see how he likes that. "Heero, Quatre
and
Trowa are checking on Duo." Damn, you just HAD to remind me, didn't you
Wufei? Damn it, it's not as though I'm already fucked up enough, you
had
to remind me that I've hurt Duo emotionally, and now physically. Why
won't
you all just LEAVE ME ALONE????!!! What the hell did I do to deserve
all
this from you guys? You were supposed to be my friends, weren't you? I
know it was really just me and Duo, or me and Trowa in the wars, that
one
time it was me and Quatre. It was pretty hard to get us all to work
together,
but.... But we have so much in common because of it, why couldn't you
just
notice? I never really made my final want secret. Look at all the times
I tried to kill myself in the wars. I keep failing, I don't deserve to
live! I don't want to get old; you get clumsy and slow when you get
older.
I warned Odin, and still, he died right there in front of me! And I
still
couldn't blow up the damn building, that fucking mobile suit got in the
way! (2)

"Heero?!" What? Oh yeah, you have to say it out
loud stupid.

"Nani?"

"Heero, are you alright? You’re crying." What?!
I'm..... feeling my face and I see he's right. It's all wet, I was
crying!
Shit, that's two people now! I'm such a fucking failure!

"Fucking idiot! Stupid fucking weak moron! You
don't CRY like that in front of people, imbecile!" Stupid FUCKING
moron,
IDIOT! Oh god, I'm such a fucking FUCK up!

"Heero! Heero, no! No, you can cry whenever you
want, it's perfectly fine. Heero you're NOT a moron, Heero! Don't ever
say that again, you're a great person Heero!"

Oh.... god...... Did I actually say that.....
out loud? fuck......

"Heero? Heero what's wrong?!" Duo? This actually
made me stop my self hatred banter and look up at the doorway.
"Heero....
Heero please..... What's wrong?" I just don't get it, why is he crying?
How did I hurt him, does he really want to hurt me? Duo, why are you
acting
like you care like this?! Duo, stop it, STOP it, do you have any idea
what
you’re doing to me?! Oh god Duo, please don't hurt me anymore, please!
Duo.....

"Stop it! Stop trying to fool me! You don't care!
I know you don't fucking give a damn! Don't try and tell me otherwise!
*gasp* Why do you all insist on doing this?! Why...... why won't you
just
leave me alone?" Shit, I can just barely keep my voice from cracking to
the point of not talking...... "Why couldn't you just let me die?"

"No, no Heero! We all care about you so much!"

"Shut UP! You stupid little blond IDIOT! You don't
know anything! You fucking ran away from home because you're some
fucking
test-tube baby?! So what! You still have a mind, you HAD a loving
family,
then you fucking screwed it all up! You never belonged in the fucking
war,
you weak little ninny!" oh .......... god....... did I just..........
Did......
oh god...... fuck.....

All: *piku piku*(3)

"Heero, that was-"

"SHUT UP!! JUST ALL OF YOU SHUT UP! Don't tell
me that was uncalled for or any SHIT like that you uni-banged freak!"
Oh
god, I'm just all over aren't I? Why did they have to do tihs? I
couldn't
help but snap. That's just the kind of person I am, you know? "Just get
out. Plesae, just get out."

I could hear the footsteps of them leaving, but
I had closed my eyes; I didn't want to see them anymore. I just
couldn't
bare to look at them.

~~oOo~~

"So tell me what your usual day is like Mr. Yuy."
I really don’t like this chick. She has her blond hair curled all about
her face and sticks her chest out as far as she can while still not
falling
over. A giant plastic smile has been permanently stretched into her
face.

"Well, you see, I wake up, get dressed, go to
school, come home, eat, do homework, and go. to. bed." Bitch. Bitch
bitch
bitchbitchbitchbitch!

"Uh huuuuuhh. *Smile* And tell me how you deal
with everyday problems, like say you didn't finish all your homework
one
night."

"I always finish my work the night before, if
not sooner."

"But let's just prete-"

"NO! I am not pretending anything for your stupid
little question, do you understand?!" Gee, that seemed to wipe her
little
smile off for a millisecond. Then she decided to write some shit down
on
the stupid little clip-board in her hand. I am quickly begging to want
to kill her with no mercy and no regard for the peace of the dead.

"Alright Mr. Yuy, how about you tell me how you
go about making new friends, hmmmmmm?"

"I don't."

"Excuse me?"

"I don't."

"Alright. Let's see, how might you go about making
a new friend if you did?"

"I wouldn't."

"Mr. Yuy, I'm going to need you to cooperate with
me if this is going to work."

"Whatever."

~~oOo~~

I told the doctors I didn't want to have any visitors.
No one, none at all. But for some reason I have a feeling that the
others
are still trying. God, I'm in shambles! It hurts to even breathe; I
just
want to fall asleep and never wake up again!

I'm not sure how long this will last. They are
former gundam pilots after all, but now, in this time, does that matter?

They told me I'm going to need to see a therapist
on a regular basis from now on, or that that was best anyway.
Apparently
they don't like the fact that I'm legally my own adult. I think they're
going to change it, say I'm not 'sane' enough or something. I suppose
then
I'll have to let the others see me. I certainly don't want to end up
living
with complete strangers. Maybe I should let Duo come visit me, but,
what
if he does want to hurt me? Whit if he's still trying to get me to
relax,
or something so he can really hurt me? I don't want to believe he would
do that, but what if.......?

I really should just ask him I suppose. He did
say he never lies, but is that really possible? To never ever once lie?
Hmmm, well, be certainly is good at holding back information without
making
it obvious. I suppose it wouldn't be so bad if I got to live with Duo,
but would they let me? It's not as though he's 18, I know he's also
considered
his own adult; we all are, well, except for Quatre. But he somehow got
Rashid appointed as his gardian. The rest of us don't have
families
anymore(4), we've all had to fend for ourselves at times, would they
really
let Duo have guardianship? This is so not looking good for me.

Perhaps Zechs or Une or someone.... No, actually
I think I might just prefer living with complete strangers. It's not
that
I don't like them, just that I'm not sure I'd want to live with them.

But on the other hand, what's keeping me here?
I could easily just walk out, who's going to stop me? /everyone/ Shut
up.

I could sneak out with one of those doctor robes
on like in the movies couldn't I? Can they really keep me here? Can't I
just sign myself out? They couldn't have taken my imancipation away so
soon could they? I swear this hospital will drive me crazy, the kind
that
deserves a total lock-down. That kind of scares me, not being able to
move
at all.

I think I'll try it. Try escaping from the hospital
hell, I'll disappear from everyone, then they won't have to see me ever
again. Duo won't have to cry when I kill myself, won't have to see the
blood. Perhaps I should try something else this time? Maybe a gun? Or
maybe
I should stab myself with a sword like Wufei's? It'd be a bit hard to
push
it in, it's a fairly long sword.... Maybe I should just go to the top
of
the hospital and jump? That'd be fun, it'd really show them they can't
stop me, that no matter where I am, I can carry through with my plans.

"uy?- Mr. Yuy!" Well, I don't remember falling
out of a three foot hospital bed a choice...

"What."

"I've brought you your lunch."

"Hn."

"Well your welcome."

"Hn."

I really hate the staff here. Maybe I should ask
them to get Duo. No, I have a phone here next to me, I'll call myself.
But, what am I going to say? No, I'll think about that later. This has
been pestering me for too long, I need to talk to him at the very least.

After dialing the number, I'd burned into my memory
I lightly cradled the phone next to my ear, nearly hanging up again
when
I heard the ring. I nearly hung up again after every ring and again
when
the answering machine turned on beeping for me to talk.

"Duo.... I'd- I think- If you still want to see
me, I'll tell them, because, well, I'd like to see you Duo. I want,
well,
goodbye."

Jesus! My head just seems to be swimming so much
I can barely find the slot the phone fits into. Now, which button did
they
say called the nurse? Yellow, white, red or peach? (5) But luckily for
me the nurse from before came back in and gave me what I suppose was
her
mean look when she saw I hadn't touched the food on the tray next to
the
bed.

"You can let Duo Maxwell visit. But no one else."
As I said this I reached for a bowl of some kind of mush. Most likely
applesauce.

"Are you sure this is what you want, Mr. Yuy?"
Well, doesn't she just look utterly pleased. Damn.

"Yes."

"Very well then." She walked out of that damn
white door with a giant fucking smile on her face showing just how
little
priority she puts into her teeth. Was this really the best thing to be
doing? Gawd, I don't think I can finish this. I suddenly feel very sick
to my stomach...

Maybe I should just try and get some sleep? Yeah,
sleep sounds good.

~~oOo~~

TBC

~~oOo~~

1) I do NOT mean alcohol, he was dehydrating himself
severely and all and I'm not sure about hydrating a person in a coma,
but
that's what I'm guessing those IV's are for! Because I honestly have no
clue.... But my friend told me after she was in a car accident that
they
make you have to pee really bad, so yeah, that's an understandable
assumption,
right? And I'm not sure if at this point it would be so bad on Heero's
throat that he would have to suck on ice cubes so as not to damage his
throat or upset his stomach, but I'm not going to do that, sorry if I
should
have......

2) You know, thinking back on this, I don't think
that Heero ever found out Treize was the one in the suit, but I could
be
wrong. Oh, this is a snippet from Heero's Episode Zero for those who
got
confused.

3) Not sure on the spelling but it means 'blink
blink'

4) Trowa never actually finds out Catherine is
his sister, actually, we never REALLY do either, it's all assumed. Even
if that little girl DOES look an awful lot like Catherine, as far as I
know, it was never out right said in any interviews or manga's or info
pages or anything ^^;;

5) These were the colors of the buttons the
last time I went to a hospital, which was like 7 years ago, and I'm not
sure about the peach. So feel free to tell me what you know them as if
it will make you feel better. ^_^
- 4
- 5
- 6
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Tourniquet