There are two kinds of blindness

Chapter four;


Humiliation

That night Wufei woke rather early. All too early to be morning already.

He growled inaudible and dug his head deeper into his pillow. Well... Zechs’s pillow, which he had been so kind to lend him until he got good enough to go home and sleep on his own pillow.

Everything had gone wrong today, and he had been so angry at the whole situation that he completely ignored his own body.

Wufei moved to wake the sleeping, blond man lying beside him. He could still feel the weight on the other side of the mattress. He had almost rolled on top of that, that body three times already because the mattress formed a valley around his body. But the hand he had reached out froze just an inch away from the cool skin.

Really, waking Zechs up was not the smartest idea. He couldn’t speak and he sure as hell wasn’t going to play charades!

Even if Zechs understood, Wufei didn’t think that he would just point him in the right direction and then let him manage on his own. No.. The tall blond man would surely cup him up and carry him all the way like some weak onna in love!

Wufei withdrew his hand and pulled himself up against the headboard. He turned his head towards the blackness of the door frame. The bathroom couldn’t possible be that far away, Zechs had taken a shower earlier and it his memory wasn’t deceiving him the blond man had only left the room before he heard a door slam shut and water running.

There was a possibility that he could make it on his own.

A little exercise, Dr Grant had said. A little exercise is good for you.

***

Zechs lay on his back with his arms under his head. His eyes were closed, but he was still awake. For hours he had twisted and turned, but he couldn’t even force himself to fall asleep.

A movement from his new ‘bedmate’ lured his attention to the small Chinese lying next to him. Apparently he wasn’t the only one that was ripped off sleep tonight.

He heard a muffled groan from the boy, and he couldn’t help but to sigh. That was not a groan out of a nice dream. No, that groan came form discomfort and pain. If the young agent had been anyone but Chang Wufei, he would have chuckled and started a conversation. But with the consideration that this young man indeed was Chang Wufei he decided against it. Anything that could come out of their mouths at this time of the night couldn’t be anything of the gentle kind. Even if it was intended to.

So he leaned back against his pillows again, pretending that he had not noticed that Wufei too was awake. If the young one needed anything he could ask for it.


***


The covers were lifted slowly and silent. He didn’t want to wake Zechs up, and if he just tossed the covers off him they would surely wake the blond man, and then he would be growling at him for disturbing his beauty sleep.

He felt blindly for the edge of the bed with his hands. He knew that when he fell asleep he was lying dangerously close to falling out of the bed, but now... He had to be at least an arm’s lenght away from it!

When he finally reached it he pulled himself closer to it. Biting his lips in concentration he maneuvered his now, painfully arching legs to the edge before he leaned his weight against the headboard as his feet tried to reach the floor. Then he sat up, but when he rose, when he tried to steady his weight, his legs gave in and he fell instantly.

A silent, and surprised noise left his mouth, but instincts saved him. He blinked, confused.

His arms held the small nightstand next to the bed in a deathgrip and he wouldn’t be surprised it Zechs found some marks there one day.

He closed his eyes and concentrated as he leveled himself up with the help of that same nightstand. Then he sighed in relief for not crashing down onto the floor, bringing half the bed with him. This time he knew how little he could use his legs without any other support, and he wouldn’t let them fall apart again without his knowing or agreement.

After an other short breath forced his feet to move, still leaning heavily on the small nightstand. He managed to take a few steps, a few very small steps before his legs started screaming.

He was already breathing heavily, and he could not steady himself against the nightstand any longer. His hands searched the air around him.

Nothing.

He patted the wall.

Still nothing.

He frowned slightly and leaned back against the nightstand. He had to give up his search. Zechs didn’t have anymore furniture by that wall.


***


As soon as Zechs felt the small Chinese agent’s weight shift over the mattress he returned his attention to him. He knew that Wufei had reached out to him earlier, but then the boy had pulled his hand back as if burned.

When he then slipped out of the covers and tried to stand on his own two legs Zechs nearly jumped over to his side to prevent him from crashing onto the floor. Luckily the boy managed to save himself from that pain.

What the hell does he think he’s doing?! Zechs yelled through his mind as he silently growled through his teeth. Forgetting that the Chinese youth wasn’t able to read his mind, or see the worried anger that was painted all over his face. He’s gonna get himself more than a broken bone if he doesn’t stop that nonsense!

Zechs’s lips were pressed together in anger, not for being forced out of bed, but for not being trusted. It was clearly that the boy wasn’t going to give up yet, and he would probably not give up even if he was seriously injured.

Zechs shook his head and got out of bed, moving soundlessly over the carpet over to the struggling boy. He knew how much Wufei’s pride meant to him, and he had to force himself not to pick him up and toss him back onto the large bed. If the boy should fall, then yes he would toss him back onto the bed. Otherwise he would wait until he got to his senses and asked for help. He wasn’t mute! He could have asked for whatever it was he was trying to do!

Zechs kept himself at an arm’s lenght away from the young Chinese. Just incase, because if he falls and breaks his small body I will have to nurse him even longer. He wasn’t even ashamed over the fact that the boy’s action amused him a little.

Standing there, breathing heavily against the wall. Shaking.


***


Wufei took a deep breath before he pushed himself free from the nightstand’s support. His legs wobbled at once and he braced himself for the fall he was doomed to experience.

But it never happened. He was still standing on shaking legs, arms leaning his weight heavily against the naked wall.

His legs felt as they very made out of lead. His heart hammered inside his ribcage and his feet were starting to tingle of numbness.

...Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea... The small Chinese thought. Maybe waking Zechs up and have the tall man growl in anger at him was.

He turned his face to the empty bed, except that Wufei didn’t know that it was. He still thought that the tall blond was lying peacefully in it, probably with a smile on his lips as he dreamed of the day Wufei died alone in his own apartment, lying on his own bed.

Wufei pressed his lips tightly in pain. He knew that he was never going to make it to the bedroom door, but he didn’t want Zechs to laugh at him, reminding him of how weak he really was. Of how utterly useless he was.

He had been a gundam pilot for God’s sake!

He wasn’t supposed to feel this weak!

Before he had realized it he had banged his head into the wall in frustration. He tried to move his legs, but they wouldn’t obey him. They didn’t even twitch in response...

One normal step from the nightstand. That was as far as he had been able to walk...

He really was weaker then he had thought. He reached out his hand in search for anything near him. He had to at least try. A warrior didn’t just quit because of a little pain, no matter how much it would hurt he could take it.

He searched with his hand, wishing that there could be anything he could lean on except for that same cold wall. He forced his shaking body to drag his feet a few inches, and his hand touched the corner of the room.

Zech had surprised him. The room wasn’t as large as he had imagined it to be. He had thought that a big bedroom was more suitable for a man with his background. Quatre had always used the largest ones himself, shouldn’t Zechs feel the same?

With a great effort of strenght he managed to move his entire body to the corner of the room, but there he had to stop and drag the air down his lungs.

While bracing himself against the wall he reached his other hand out in front of him, even more surprised that it almost immediately bumped into something. A small, and exhausted smile slipped over his lips as he pushed his body from the wall and into that hard object.

He soon realized that that same hard object was a wardrobe, and that it was standing steadily against the wall just an inch away from the doorway. Not only that, but the large handles helped him to move without putting too much weight over his legs.

A chuckle almost slipped past his lips. This had to be the first time he was happy he had been sick and not able to eat properly, thanks to that he didn’t weigh as much as he used too and his legs didn’t have to endure as much.

He was also very happy that the one who had created the clothes closet hadn’t made it as cheep as possible to get as much profit out as possible. If this had been his own wardrobe the handles would have broken the second he had rested his weight on it.


***


He held himself up against the doorframe. His legs were shaking under him and his chest hurt even more for every intake of breath, He tried to move his legs, tried to make them walk past the threshold, but he couldn’t... he couldn’t move, and his legs weighed like ton.

Wufei clamed his hands to the frame and turned his attention towards the bed. Maybe he should wake Zechs up, he was never going to be able to make it to the bathroom without falling into a heap on the floor.

He groaned aloud. Or at least he attempted too, but the silent noise that escaped from his lips was more like a whimper. He let his mind beat himself. He couldn’t even be grumpy like this!

He lifted one hand to knock on the wall, but his movement froze at the last moment. He didn’t want Zechs to carry him, and he could bet on that the tall man wouldn’t just let him lean on him...

No... He couldn’t give up just yet. All he needed was some rest and a lot of air and he would be as good as new! Who are you trying to kid?

He could do this, even if he would end up in a heap on the floor. Maybe then he would wake Zechs up. Maybe. Or maybe he would spend the night sleeping on the floor as a punishment for his own weakness. And it would probably be the latter.

Somehow he did manage to get passed the threshold though, but just a few seconds later his legs gave and he fell towards the floor.

His arms came up to protect his face, but the ground never came closer.

An arm encircled his waist as another sneaked in under his knees and before Wufei had any time to fight back he was being lifted and carried back to bed.

“You shouldn’t be out of bed.”

“Ng.. nooo..” Wufei pushed at the tall man’s shoulders. “Aii.. I .. baaah...” His forehead was drawn together in small lines. “No..”

“What?” Zechs asked slightly irritated, but stopped right by the bed.

Wufei turned his face away and Zechs could swear that the small Chinese’s cheeks were slightly pink.

“Wufei don’t be rediculous! You were shaking worse then aspen leafs in full storm, you’ll-”

Wufei shook his head again.
“Ba.. Bah.. roo..”
“Bahroo?” Zechs frowned. “Bathroom?”

Wufei nodded and pushed at the other man’s shoulders once more, telling him in his own way that he could let him down now. He really didn’t like to be carried away like some onna..

“Chang, you couldn’t even get out of bed without falling apart, how the hell do you think you can get to the bathroom without breaking every bone in your body?” He said almost growling at the Chinese youth. “Now shut up or I’m just gonna drop you right here and let you pretend that you can manage on you own.”

Wufei didn’t dare to answer, the threat behind the blond man’s voice wasn’t telling lies. Zechs would indeed drop him on the spot and crawl back into bed and let Wufei do whatever he thought he could do on his own. He’d probably even lock the bathroom door just to make it worse for him.

Zechs started moving, just three steps and then a door was nudged open with a foot.

Then Wufei felt his feet touch the cold floor, but Zechs still had an arm over his chest. Which was the only thing holding him upright right now, though Wufei would never admit that to even himself.

He pulled at the blond man’s hand, indicating that he could let him go now, but Zechs just pulled him closer to his own chest and let his other hand pull at the drawstring at his pants.

Wufei panicked.

“Nnng.. Nn.. no!” He said battling away the other man’s touch.
“What? You think you can do this on your own?” The man said mockingly.

Wufei grabbed a hold of his hand and nodded hesitantly.

“Really?” Zechs mused. “So if I should let you go and take a step back you won’t fall down on that pretty ass of yours?”

Wufei didn’t hear a word, he was too busy trying to get the man away from him, but if falling for the rest of his life he would gladly do so if it could get him out of this situation.

“Hmm..” And then the arms around him disappeared.

Wufei, who wasn’t ready for that fell immediately.

Just when he raised his arms to protect his face from the coming impact those same arms encircled his waist again, and this time the hand over his pants pulled them down before Wufei even had a chance to object.

“If you had asked me in the first place you wouldn’t be in this situation now, would you?” Zechs snatched up Wufei’s wrists and pulled them at his chest, forcing them to still their struggling.

“I am not going to let you ruin my carpets, and I am sure as hell not going to clean up after you, so deal with it.” He paused as he pulled down the Chinese’s boxers. “You put yourself in this position Chang.”

Wufei forced his tears back, he had never been so embarrassed and humiliated in his whole life! And everybody kept telling him how good it would be for his healing if he stayed with Zechs...

“Relax Chang, I have no plans on spending the night like this.”

No one ever mentioned that he would lose the small piece of pride he had left..

Maybe nobody cared...



To Be Continued...