First Love

A/N: In a dramatic confrontation, Edward and Roy begin to understand each other’s unspoken feelings. As an adolescent Ed starts to learn about adult sexuality and romance from Roy who takes him under his wing.

Chapter 5

The flame one hugged him tightly, sheltering the boy in his arms against his strong chest. Sniffling, Fullmetal buried his face in, the rough fabric of the colonel’s uniform rug his face. Breathing deeper Roy leaned over, feeling Edward’s bangs brush his pale neck.

It’s the same feeling when I kissed him years ago, he realized within. And it makes me remember something deeper…

As Roy embraced him fully, Edward’s teary face also triggered a face in Roy’s memory from his distant past. During the Ishbal Rebellion Mustang had killed a youth with the same sweet features. He was a boy, Edward’s age. Paralyzed by his display of primal fear Mustang froze, yet his fingers squeezed the trigger. A silent bullet whizzed through space, time stood still as it pierced his forehead, etching that gaze forever in his psyche.

With the image in mind, Roy raised a bare hand stroking Edward’s round cheek: soft, innocent and tender. Their faces are the same, he recalled at once.

Edward’s large amber eyes, tinged with fire beckoned to the colonel. Not in pain like before at Risembool, but the same questioning as then, why did you kiss me, Taisa?

Three years ago at the Rockbell’s, his face reminded me of the past, of the innocence I lost when I killed that boy in Ishbal. It was as if I hurt myself, but my pain wore his face, haunting me in nightmares, Roy recalled wearily, worn within from years of sleepless nights.

“I’m apologize, Hagane,” he whispered, bearing his pain openly.

The blonde’s mouth fell open, his parted lips trembling. “Taisa, you… apologized?”

“You heard me.” Roy’s deep voice intensified. His irises, deep black pools narrowed, drawing Edward further. Single points of light played in their depths like diamonds in the dark.

It’s just like my dream last night, Fullmetal’s thoughts raced, lost between dreams and reality. Then he really kissed me.

“Why, Taisa?” he asked softly, speaking in the same voice during sleep.

“Why, what, Hagane?” the taller man echoed, knowing perfectly well what Edward referred to. Flame wanted the boy to say it, so he’d know his deep feelings, buried inside three years in every beat his heart thumped, through rest and waking life.

Stiffening, Edward pulled back. “Don’t play dumb, again,” he hissed, regaining awareness. “Ya kissed me.”

“Now, you remember.” Roy’s lips curled to a cheeky grin, his hands cupping Edward’s scarlet cheeks.

“I’ll say it once, so listen.” His tone, husky and demanding flowed out strongly then softened. In a whisper barely audible above his own heartbeat, he uttered, “Hagane…”

The affection lingering in the syllables of Edward’s name sent a chill up his spine and tingles through each nerve.

“I love you,” came the soulful utterance in his ear.

The sentiment in Flame’s pitch spread over Edward like a blanket of warmth in winter, penetrating his cells to their core.

“I thought ya hated me, Taisa,” Edward confessed at last.

Sighing, the colonel hit him lightly. “No, kiddo, you just never listen.”

“Ouch!” He winced. “Cause you damn adults think ya know it, especially you, flame ass.”

Grinning deviously, Roy ruffled Edward’s braided hair. “Well, we do, if it any means anything that height equates intelligence.” His tone rose in pitch at Fullmetal’s twisted features.

“What!?” he cried. “Who’s so damn short he can’t—”

“Enough, Hagane,” Flame growled, seizing him.

Lowered swiftly on the couch by Roy’s desk, he laid limply, head tossed back to the ceiling high above. He heard Roy’s weight creek the floor and glimpsed his tall frame hovering through space. The blurred motion of Roy’s swift moments shifted into focus as he slowed, motionless over Fullmetal.

His possessive gaze bore down, softened by a twinkle in his eyes and the gentle curve of lips. If it were another grown man twice his age, his body looming over, he’d recoil instinctively in fear. But Flame’s affection made him feel safe from all possible harm.

“If you don’t like this, it’s okay,” he added.

Swallowing, Edward tensed beneath. “No, Taisa, I want to.” His lids fluttered half shut and round face fell to the side. “You treat me like an adult in my missions, so do it here too.”

Inclining lower, Roy pressed a light kiss to his nose. “Hagane, this is different. ”

The emphasis on the word struck anger in the blonde. “You’re saying I’m —”

Lying flushed to Edward, Roy placed an index finger on his lip. “If you want to be an adult, you’ll listen, understand?”

“Yes, sir…” The blonde conceded, nodding.

He ran one hand through Edward’s silky hair, encircling his thin neck with the other.

Nodding again, Fullmetal hugged him back, nuzzling his face into the colonel’s warm chest. He reached up, his expression curious, grabbing Roy’s collar. The hard, rough wool almost hurt his fleshly fingers. Flame’s larger sturdy hands, calloused and scarred from battle, wrapped around Fullmetal’s.

He lets me guide him, only wanting more, Roy observed, smiling inwardly. It’s because of his innocence. Sometimes we adults forget innocence. Then feeling good physically is all we really desire. It becomes a mechanical act instead of lovemaking cause there is no love in the end. Knowing that, I still did those stupid empty dates.

“Taisa?” Edward mumbled, having wrestled the jacket off his broad taut shoulders.

Revealing a partial smile Flame slid it off, propping himself up. With his back against the armrest, he guided Edward’s auto-mail hand onto his white button-down shirt. Fumbling around, metal fingers yanked the topmost button out.

“It’s okay, I’ll help,” Roy offered, undoing the rest.

Blushing, the blonde looked away, catching the colonel’s shirt. Slowly, he tugged it half off, gathered around his elbows, revealing his fully muscled chest and stomach. Edward gasped at the sight of defined musculature and skin pale as moonlight. Entranced, Fullmetal’s fingertips traced odd patterns over his firm pectorals.

“Like this,” he said gently, guiding the boy’s fingers to his slightly hardened nubs.

This whole experience of exploring another’s body left him dazed and fascinated at once.

It might be more typical of an adolescent, Flame thought, studying him, to explore another’s body his age, ideally a girl’s. First off, I’m a man. Second, I’m twice his age. And I’m his superior.

“Is this right?” Edward hesitated, gazing up longingly at Roy.

“Yes,” he replied at last, eyes closed, head leaning forward over the blonde, nestling him to his chest. I think I understand. All he wanted was my attention the last three years since joining the Amestris military. And what better way then defiance against his superior? In the military power is absolute over those below one's rank. I could have subordinates court-martialed, dismissed, jailed. Hell, even tortured. But in my eyes, he’s a child in many subtle ways.

“We’ve done enough, Hagane.” Gathering his hand under Edward’s chin, Roy tilted it up and black orbs mirrored gold.

“But—” Straddling the taller man’s lap, the blonde protested hotly.

Just like a child. He arms locked around Fullmetal’s smaller frame, lips finally planting a sweet kiss on his mouth. Abandoned by his father, bereft by his mother, it’s my duty to protect him.

Vision glazed over, he felt himself melt in his superior’s loving embrace.

“I’m here for you.” In a softer possessive tone, Flame declared. “But you’re mine.”

TBC