Acting As If� (A Passion Play in Five Acts)

Disclaimer: I don’t own any of the Gundam boys, I just like to imagine them in my own little world (which is totally of my imagining). No profits are made from this story, just gratuitous pleasure.

Summary: Everything was so great between us during the war that I could hardly believe it when he left me without even a word once it had ended. It was only with the help of my friends that I kept from going off of the deep end, but the hurt never eased. I kept living, but I felt as if I was in a play, ‘acting as if’ my heart had mended and I had moved on, but that’s all it was, an act. Now, Trowa and Quatre are finally tying the knot and everyone is attending. Everyone except HIM. And I’ll be there, alone, except in my dreams. Or will I?

Rating: NC-17

Warning Codes: Angst,anal,m/m,waff,yaoi,h/c,COMPLETE,

Pairings: 1x2

Author’s note: Act V The wedding of the century has finally arrived. The dreams become reality.


Feedback is appreciated. Your feedback is your gift to me. My gift to you is the story. I hope that you have enjoyed reading it thus far, and that I will continue to keep you enchanted with my little passion play.

Acting As If… (A Passion Play in Five Acts)

Act V

When I awoke, the sun was shining in and I was alone. The dent in the pillow and the scent of ‘Fei’s cologne that lingered in my bed was the only reminder that he had been here with me. My head felt like it had been stuffed with fluff and when I moved, there was a sudden pain in my ass. I felt as if I’d had a night of really… hard… SEX! No way! What had I done last night? It was all a dream, wasn’t it? It was always a dream. But I felt the burning aftermath of sex and I felt something wet seeping from my anus. I staggered to my bathroom, finding my clothes where ‘Fei had dropped them. Reaching down carefully I snagged my boxers and saw with dawning realization that it wasn’t a dream. Semen stained my boxers, both mine and someone else’s, I’d be willing to bet. As I turned, my pale face caught my attention in the mirror, the dark red marks on my neck stopped me cold. I had three really big hickeys running down my neck. Damn.

Almost without thought, I bent and found my tee shirt, bringing it up to bury my face in it. I breathed deeply. It reeked of HIS cologne.

It hadn’t been a dream, and those hazy words had been real, too. He said ‘I love you, Duo’ and I know that he meant it. But where was he? That, I didn’t know. But I was sure that he would be back for me and not in a dream. I smiled to myself and my heart beat contentedly in my chest. I would wait. I would wait forever for my Heero, if need be.

Then my stomach started to growl at me.

“Okay, I’ll feed you,” I said, rubbing my petulant tummy. “Let me clean up and dress at least.”

It only gurgled in reply. I washed myself carefully, then put on clean boxers and pants, but pulled on the shirt that still smelled of HIM. Happily, I headed off to find some breakfast.

~*~

I heard chattering as I approached the room where breakfast was usually served and I slowed for a moment, my hand going to my neck, but no, I wasn’t going to be ashamed of anything that I did. Not when it was with HIM.

“… okay with it this morning?” asked Sally.

“He’s strong. He’ll deal with it,” WuFei replied.

“Not one word about any of it to him,” Trowa warned.

I burst in jauntily.

“Not one word to who about what, Tro’?” I asked cheekily, sure that they were talking about my love bites.
“Quatre got a bit inebriated. He was doing table dances for dollars,” said ‘Fei, smoothly.

Relena and Hilde looked at each other and giggled.

“Yeah, so no one say anything about that to him,” said Trowa, shooting ‘Fei a glare.

“Damn, sorry that I missed that,” I said. Good saving lie, ‘Fei, I thought as I headed for the food. “I’m starving. Guess I didn’t get enough last night.”

“Oh, I’d say he got more then enough last night,” I heard Relena whisper to Hilde, then they giggled again, but I chose to ignore them.

“So, where is Quate this morning, Tro’?” I asked, feigning innocence.

“Ah, sleeping of his excess. He needs a clear head for the ceremony,” Trowa replied. “It starts promptly at 4, Duo. Are you going to be ready?”

“Yeah. No problem. I’m going to go wash my hair right after I eat. Need to get the club odor out of it,” I said, sitting down next to ‘Fei with my food. “Hey, thanks for taking care of me last night. Guess I got a little tired after a couple of drinks. I don’t remember too much of the evening. Did I have a good time?” I asked him, looking straight into his dark eyes, challenging him to tell me the truth.

“Oh, yeah, you had a real good time,” he replied, a soft smile on his face. “The best in a long time, I’d be willing to say.”

“Heh. Too bad it’s all a blur to me,” I said with a sigh. “I could use some good memories.”

Then I quit playing word games with ‘Fei and settled down to eat. I felt great.

Not too long after that I departed to my room to start on my hair. Having hair that hangs to your butt can be a pain in the ass for up keep, but there was no way in Hell I’d ever cut it. Not for anything or anybody. I’d rather die first. But, since that wouldn’t be required of me today, I’d settle for washing it.

~*~

Back in my room I stripped, buried my face in my shirt for one last deep breath of HIM, then threw it into the hamper and stepped into the hot shower. The greatest thing about Quatre's house here is that they have a fuckin’ huge water heater, so I could take a nice long shower. And boy, did I need it. I hurt. Or my ass did, at any rate. It had been a long time since I last had sex, like three or four years or so, but hey, who’s counting? And judging from the tenderness of my ass, he really fucked me good, but then, he always did. The guy was a God in the sack, and I was his first disciple, worshiping at the temple of his magnificent body.

I finished up my hair, lavishing on the conditioner, as I planned to wear it down, and was just letting the hot water run over my body.

I felt my mind going hazy and I tried to remember what exactly had transpired between us, but it was so much like a dream, so surreal, that parts of it were lost forever to me. I couldn’t help but wonder if he had still found my body enjoyable, if he still liked the way I felt to him, if I still pleased him. I certainly hoped that I pleased him. I could feel myself responding to the thoughts of him, and before I knew it, I had a raging hard on. I started to stoke my cock with one hand, while the other rubbed across my stomach and chest, toying with my nipples as I thrust my hips into my hand. I closed my eyes and I could see his face above me, those deep blue eyes dark with lust, mouth open, panting in his desire for me, and the exquisite beauty of his face as he came deep inside of me. I orgasmed to that mental image, crying out his name, my release bringing me to my knees under the running water.

Somewhere, in my post-orgasmic bliss-filled mind, I thought I heard him chuckle, but I was to dazed to try to turn to look. It took me several minutes before I could pull myself together enough to stand and shut off the water.

Staggering out of the shower, I wrapped a big, fluffy towel around my hips and tried to blot some of the water out of the mass of my hair with another. Three towels later, I wasn’t dripping all over the place, but I was still feeling the after effects of my little shower orgy with myself, so I staggered out and collapsed across my bed.

~*~

He was back. I smiled lazily, but didn’t move. Gently, he rolled me to my back and lay next to me, his fingers touching the marks on my neck. He smiled a little and chuckled, then his mouth was on mine. After a long, sweet kiss, his fingers traced their way down my body, his lips following. They stopped just above the towel, near my hip, pushing the towel down and his mouth descended, sucking hard. I moaned and arched under him, wanting more, but once again, he rose to look me in the eyes and just shook his head. But this time, it was different. This time, he spoke.

“Soon, Duo, my love,” he said softly. “Soon.”

“When?” I tried to choke out, but sleep befuddled me and he was gone when I got my eyes open.

Damn, another dream. But then I noticed my towel had slipped down, and when I looked, there was a vivid red mark on the fair skin of my abdomen. I was so confused now. Was I going insane? How could he be there, but not be there? He couldn’t move that quickly and quietly, could he? I wasn’t sure what to think any more, but I held on to the promise he gave me in that dream, like a drowning man would grasp at anything to keep himself afloat.

“Soon,” I repeated to myself. “Soon.”

Then I notice the time 2:00! Shit! I only had two hours to get ready. I must have slept longer then I had realized. I got up, found my boxers, a white tee shirt and some socks, then headed for the bathroom and the large, industrial sized blow dryer I had found in there. Quatre must have had me in mind for sure with this item, because that’s what it was going to take to get the rest of this mass of hair totally dry.

My arms ached by the time I was done, but it was only 3:15. Good, still plenty of time to dress. I was just getting my shoes on when I heard WuFei outside my door.

“Duo? May I come in?” he called after knocking.

“Sure, ‘Fei. Just tying my shoes,” I shouted from the far side of the room.

He opened the door and stepped in. God, he looked stunning in his burgundy tux with his hair hanging loose on his shoulders.

“Whoa, ‘Fei, damn, you look hot! Sally better watch out!” I joked, grabbing my jacket and putting it on as I headed towards him. I was in light cream, and with my hair falling around me, I must have been a sight, ‘cos ‘Fei just stood there with his mouth hanging open.

“God, Duo, you look stunning.” he finally said. “If I wasn’t a married man, you’d be in trouble right about now.”

“Aw, ‘Fei, you say the sweetest things to me!” I said, taking his arm. “Come on, let’s go get married.”

He smiled an enigmatic smile at me then, looking somewhat like a cat who had just swallowed a canary.

“That’s where we’re going, baby,” he answered, “to a wedding.”

~*~

We walked into the grand ballroom a few minutes later and passed out into the gardens beyond, where a large pavilion had been erected. The guests were all seated and ‘Fei and I took out places at the alter where the judge was presiding. Now we waited. I was so nervous. I only had a small part to play, handing Quate his ring. Damn! The ring! I panicked for a moment, then saw ‘Fei pat his breast pocket. Touching mine, I was relieved to find that I had, indeed, remembered to bring the ring. I could just see myself sprinting along, hair flying behind me like a horse’s tail while I made a horse’s ass out of myself, but thankfully that wasn’t going to happen. I heaved a sigh of relief.

Then the music started and everyone stood and faced the house. They came out together, Quatre in white and Trowa in black, looking fantastic together. Quatre was practically glowing, he looked so radiant. And for once, I didn’t have to ‘act as if’ I was happy. I was. My smile must have been almost as radiant because Quatre seemed to glow even more when he looked at me.

They finally reached us, and I hugged Quate to myself.

“I’m so happy for you. You deserve all of the happiness that you can get from this world,” I whispered to him.

“I love you, Duo. Thank you for being here for me,” was his reply.

Trowa and ‘Fei opted for a hand shake and a guy’s kind of hug, but then they had never been as close to each other as Quatre and I had been.

And then they turned to face each other. The rest is a bit of a blur to me, but the judge spoke his piece, Quatre read Trowa the vows he had written, Trowa read his to Quate, they said the vows together, the do you take, and for better or worse, till death do you, etc. Then the rings were exchanged with some more words from the judge. Finally, the judge asked if there were any objections and when nobody stirred, he finally pronounced them husband and husband, and the kissing commenced.

It was all very beautiful, I assure you, but I’m sure Hilde or Relena could have described it down to the most minute detail. Me, I’m just glad I didn’t drop the ring at the critical moment.

Then the judge gave us Trowa and Quatre Winner-Barton and everyone cheered.

Photos followed, for what seemed like hours. I was getting pretty tired of smiling and found myself falling back on the old ‘acting as if’ I’m still enjoying all of this. Finally, everyone got to walk by and congratulated the new couple on their blessed day, and me and ‘Fei for not screwing up. Then Quate and Trowa led the way back into the ball room and the reception.

It was that formal dinner type thing. Remember, the one we ‘practiced’ oh, so many days ago? Well, ‘Fei had to give his speech, and I had to give mine, including witty comments about the happy couple. Then Quate and Trowa each spoke a few words of thanks to everyone, and the dinner was done.

On to the party and the drinking. W00t! I had one drink and I was starting to feel a little stifled by the crowd, so I though I’d step out onto the patio for some fresh air. I put my hand in my pocket and took out the ‘gift’ Trowa had given me, customary, he said for the best man.

It was a ring, silver, gundanium from the looks of it, with flecks of what seemed to be blue and red paint embedded in it.

“It’s too big, Tro’,” I said, slipping it on a finger of my right hand.

“Trust me, Duo, it’s a perfect fit,” he said, one of those Trowa looks on his face, the devious one’s where you only could see one of his eyes. I wondered what he’d meant by that, but he didn’t give me a chance to inquire before he slipped away.

I was leaning over the rail, when I felt someone step up behind me. Before I could move, however, a pair of strong arms reached out and pulled me up into a warm embrace.

“You look lonely, baby,” he said, HIS cologne filling my head, HIS voice making my aching heart sing.

“Not any more,” I whispered, turning in his embrace. “I missed you so much.”

“I know, baby. I’m sorry,” he responded, running his hands through my hair. “You look so beautiful tonight, Duo. More beautiful then I ever remember seeing you.”

“God, I hated you so much, Yuy,” I said, my voice muffled against his chest. “ I couldn’t stop loving you.”

“It’s all over now. I’m not going any where ever again,” he promised. “I love you, Duo Maxwell.”

‘Fei chose that moment to interrupt our tender reunion and I almost screamed.

“’bout time, Yuy,” was all he said.

“Hn. That judge still here?” Heero asked.

“Think so,” replied ‘Fei, casually.

“Why don’t you go see if you can get him. And another witness,” said Heero, then he was kissing me.
“Judge? Witness? What? Why?” I asked stupidly when he finally released me.

“That’s what you need for a wedding,” replied Heero patiently.

“Wedding? Who’s getting married?” I asked, my stupidity knowing no bounds.

“Us,” was his answer.

“Don’t you think you should at least ask me first?” I flared, just a little miffed at how matter of fact he was being about this whole thing.

“Well?” he asked.

“Well, what?” I replied.

“Are you going to marry me?” he asked.

“Are you asking me to?” I countered.

“I’m not really giving you any choice in the matter, baby. It’s going to happen,” he stated. “I had my wedding night, now I’m having my wedding.”

Then ‘Fei showed up, putting an end to our little verbal sparing session, judge in tow, Quate and Trowa not far behind. Heero pulled a paper out from inside his jacket, handed it to the judge, pulled me closer to himself, nodded to ‘Fei to stand beside me and to Trowa and Quate to stand next to him. All quick and efficient.

“This is highly irregular, young man,” the judge huffed.

“Yes, sir, but I’ve been chasing this beauty for some time and now I plan to make him mine,” Heero replied. “The paperwork is all in order. You can start any time.”

I just stood gaping at him until ‘Fei poked me and I shut my mouth.

“Well, then, shall we begin?” asked the judge, rather rhetorically.

“Dearly beloved, we are gather here in the sight of God and these witnesses to join together these two men in holy matrimony.

“Do you, ah…”

“Duo Maxwell,” I supplied.

“Yes. Do you, Duo Maxwell take this man…”

“Heero Yuy,” Heero deadpanned.

“Yes. …Heero Yuy to live together in marriage? Do you promise to love, comfort, honor and keep him, for better or worse, for richer and for poorer, in sickness and in health, forsaking all others, being faithful only to him, so long as you both shall live?”

I looked at Heero and knew that if this was a dream, I never wanted to wake up from it.

“I do,” I said, smiling.

“And do you, Heero Yuy, take this man, Duo Maxwell to live together in marriage? Do you promise to love, comfort honor and keep him, for better or worse, for richer and for poorer, in sickness and in health, forsaking all others, being faithful only to him, so long as you both shall live?”

“I do,” Heero replied, smiling back at me.

“You have rings?” the judge asked.

And now I knew that the gift that Trowa had given me was, indeed, a perfect fit as I slipped it onto Heero's finger.

“Repeat after me,” the judge intoned. “With this ring, I thee wed.”

“With this ring, I thee wed, you, Heero Yuy, owner of my heart,” I whispered.

And Heero slipped a similar silver band over my finger, and I was sure I’d find flecks of black and yellow in it when I looked at it later. (My beloved ‘Scythe.)

“Repeat after me,” said the judge once more. “With this ring, I thee wed.”

“With this ring, I thee wed, you, Duo Maxwell, keeper of the faith and beloved of my heart,” said Heero, a soft smile on his face.

“Well, then, if anyone here knows of any reasons why these two should not be joined in holy wedlock, speak now, or forever hold your peace…” spoke the judge. He paused for a moment, the continued. “By the power vested in me, I pronounce you husband and husband. You may kiss your spouse.”

And Heero had me in his arms, his mouth on mine and I lost all ability to function for a few moments. Maybe I even blacked out, I don’t know. All I do know is that we were turning and the judge was saying “Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Heero and Duo Maxwell-Yuy.”

And people were cheering. Everyone, and I do mean everyone, was out on that patio. I almost died.

Then we were mobbed by our friends, everyone talking at once and no one getting any answers. After a while the bedlam died down when everyone realized that Heero and I were more interested in kissing each other then in talking with them and they left us to our own devices.


~*~


Thanks for reading, hope your visit was a good one. Stay tuned for a brief (or maybe not so brief encore).