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The More I Learn to Care For You - Roy's POV	By : ZaKai Category: Fullmetal Alchemist > Yaoi - Male/Male Views: 3280 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Full Metal Alchemist, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 4
- 5
- 6
Review Replies

nomdeplume: Thank you.� I�m really glad you�re enjoying this. ^_^� Amethyst-eyed Koneko: *nods* you�re right.� I don�t think they�ll be able to last 3 weeks
like this. *pats*

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A/N: Please note that all of Ed�s
dialogue belongs to Kikiko.

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The More I Learn to
Care For You � Roy�s POV

Chapter Five

Voice

-

Sighing
in exhaustion, Roy
pressed his back against the door and shut it.�
He glanced around his apartment wearily before pushing away from the
door and walked across the front room.�
As he trudged up the stairs, he thought idly that tonight, of all
nights, he was not happy to have a two-floor apartment.� Sometimes it was nice, but tonight it made
him want to just sleep on the couch.

He walked
into his bedroom as he shrugged off his long black trench coat.� Throwing the coat on the floor near the wall,
Roy dumped his
keys and wallet onto the dresser and flopped down on his bed.�

What a bad day... he thought as he stared wearily
at the ceiling.� His day had been filled
with tons of paperwork, and boring meetings.�
After Ed�s little outburst in his office, Roy hadn�t been able to concentrate on
anything.� His mind had constantly gone
back to how Ed had acted, not only in his office, but also how he�d been acting
the past few weeks.�

Roy reached up and rubbed at his eyes
before sitting up and pulling his boots off.�
A part of him felt hurt at Ed�s anger, but he quickly turned that into
anger.� It was easier that way.� He unbuttoned his uniform jacket and shirt,
and hung them up before pulling off his pants and hanging those up as
well.�

Perhaps
Ed really wasn�t interested in him anymore, and Roy supposed he couldn�t blame the teen.� After all, Ed was still young and Roy was... well... not
young...� Pulling out a pair of pajama
pants, Roy
slipped them on and walked to the bathroom.�
He peered into the mirror and frowned deeply.�

Not
young... that was a laugh.� He�d be
thirty-two this year.� It wasn�t exactly old but...� Feeling a little disgusted with himself, Roy
threw on a pajama top and made his way downstairs to find something for
dinner.� He was tired, but he was also
hungry since he hadn�t eaten anything in the past six hours, and what he had
eaten before that wasn�t very much.

Instead
of going directly to the fridge, Roy
opened a cupboard, grabbed a small glass, then pulled
out a square bottle with a black label.�
The bottle was rather new and only a little of the liquid inside was
gone.� Sighing, Roy poured a small amount into the glass and
took a sip before putting the bottle away.�

He generally
had a small drink after work, though sometimes he had a double if it had been a
real shitty day.� Roy frowned down at the liquid and took
another sip before opening the refrigerator.�
There wasn�t really anything in there that looked very appetizing,
despite his being hungry.� He pulled out
block of cheese, sliced off a couple of pieces and put it back.� He munched on the cheese and sipped at his
drink as thoughts raced through his mind.

Normally,
Roy didn�t get
into relationships.� They were just too
much of a bother, but Ed had been different.�
He looked down at his empty glass, then pulled the bottle out and poured
himself a bit more; today definitely qualified as a shitty day.

Roy leaned against the counter and
popped another piece of cheese into his mouth.�
Oh yes, Ed had been different.� Roy had always enjoyed a
challenge and the teen had definitely been that.� He hadn�t wanted Ed because he liked
him.� On the contrary, Roy had originally pursued him out of a
morbid sense of irritation at his young subordinate.

Sighing
as he finished his second serving of cheese, Roy grabbed the bottle and headed
upstairs.� In the beginning, Roy had finally decided
that he�d had enough of Ed�s attitude and wanted to be the one to bring the kid
down.� Ed certainly was good looking and
well built so he�d decided to go for it.� Of course, Ed was different than all his
other dates.� Ed hated him while the
others had actually wanted to date
him.�

Roy sat on his bed, poured himself a
little more and set the bottle on the nightstand.� He realized that he�d never be able to fuck
the kid if he didn�t befriend him.� Well,
unless he wanted to just try taking him, but for one thing, Roy wasn�t really into that sort of
thing.� He did have some standards.� For another,
Ed could probably fight him off.� Of
course, there was the law to think about.�
You just didn�t go around forcing people to have sex with you.

He
smirked at his now empty glass and automatically filled it again.� He�d just have one more...�

So he�d
worked hard to befriend the kid.� He�d
been met with suspicion at first, then with a slow and grudging
acceptance.� Befriending Ed was only the
first step.� He also had to ease the teen
into the idea that the two of them having sex would be an okay and enjoyable
thing to do.� Not an easy thing to do
with a teenager whose only experience with sex was with his hand.� Ed didn�t even want to talk about �stuff like
that�.� It had been too embarrassing for
the teen.

And then
there was the summer evening when he�d invited Ed over for a small barbecue;
they�d had hamburgers and roasted corn on the cob...� The evening had been a perfect one.� It had been warm out, yet the evening had
been a cool one for summer.� There had
been chirping crickets and Ed had wanted to spar out on the grass behind the
apartment complex.

It had
been quite an embarrassing experience for Roy
given that he wasn�t one for hand to hand combat, but Ed had seemed to enjoy
giving his commanding officer lessons.�
It had been the first time since Roy
had started trying to get Ed in bed, that he hadn�t thought about how he could
use the situation to his advantage.� He�d
enjoyed the lessons just as much as Ed.�
They�d had a great time...

�A really
great time...� Roy
whispered down at the almost half empty bottle, then
unsteadily poured himself a bit more.

They�d
gone inside sweaty and laughing and, ironically, things had simply happened
from there.� They�d done a bit more
sparing in the front room which led to them both being on the floor.� They�d laughed and started wrestling, and at
that moment Roy
had stepped over the line.� He�d looked
down at the teen who he�d pinned to the floor and
thought that Ed had to be one of the most beautiful people he�d ever seen with
blond strands of hair coming messily out of the teen�s braid, and the innocent
expression in his eyes.� It had prompted
him to throw all caution to the wind.�
He�d leaned down and gently kissed Ed on the lips.�

He took a
sip and smiled.� They�d had amazing sex
that night.� Despite Ed�s lack of
experience, it had been truly incredible.�
He�d never let his feelings enter into his bedroom life and until then,
he�d never known what he was missing.

Roy downed what was left in his glass
and laid down on the bed.� He set the
empty glass on the nightstand and let the numb tingly feeling in his body and
brain take a hold of him.� Of course, all
had not been perfect after that.� In
fact, it had been a little rough.� The
morning after, Roy
had felt a little freaked out.� He�d only
been pursuing Ed for sex; only to bring the kid down off his self-made
pedestal.� But as he�d laid there and
watched the younger alchemist sleep, Roy
had realized that he never wanted to let Ed get away from him. �He�d put so
much time and energy into getting to know the kid and now...

�And now...�
Roy whispered
up at the ceiling.�

And now,
still, he didn�t want to let Ed go.� He
didn�t want Ed to let him go... and yet he was completely confused as to what
to do about their relationship.� Recently
it had been so...

�Shitty...�
he muttered thickly.

Perhaps
that�s what he got for dating a child...�
Roy
frowned at the thought.� Ed was no
child.� He was just about
eighteen...� He sighed as he thought of
what had happened earlier that day.� Ed
had been so angry and cold to him...�

He
glanced at the phone and without thinking picked it up and clumsily dialed the
dorm where Ed was staying.� When someone
picked up, Roy
asked for Ed and waited a few minutes for the teen to come from his room to the
communal phone.

He heard
a sigh, then �Yeah?��

Roy frowned.� Ed sounded tired...� He vaguely wondered what time it was, but
didn�t dwell on it.� �Ed?� he asked; best
to be sure.

�Ah... yeah?� Roy?�
Are you... drunk?� Ed asked sounding surprised.� Roy�s
eyes flitted to the half empty bottle.�
Maybe he was... but he�d never gotten drunk around Ed before.� Best to just not let him know.

�No...�
he lied.� �I�ve just had a little bit,
but I�m not drunk.�

�Okay...�
Ed said hesitantly.� �If you say
so...�� Roy nodded to himself.� Best if Ed didn�t know.

�I just
wanted to talk to you...� Roy
said, then let his voice trail off.� That sounded so... needy.� He didn�t want to
sound needy, he just... just what?�

�Okay...
so... um... here I am...� Ed said, confusion laced
through his voice.

Roy smiled sadly.� It was true.�
Ed was there and Roy
was here.� Not how he wanted it.� He�d much rather have
Ed here with him.� He�d much rather be
holding him and touching him and hearing him say...� �I just wanted to hear your voice...� Roy whispered quietly.

�What�s
that?� Ed asked.� �I didn�t make that
out.�

Roy frowned.� Had he said that out loud?� �It�s... it�s nothing...� You know... you have such a nice voice.�� He did.�
Really he did.

�Thanks,�
Ed said.� �Yours ain�t
so bad either when you�re not yelling at me.�

At that, Roy chuckled.� When he
was yelling at Ed?� Usually it was the other way around.� �Even when you�re yelling, I think you have a
nice voice... but it�s better when you�re not
yelling.�� Well, that much is obvious... he thought to himself.� He was starting to feel a bit uncomfortable
with this conversation because he thought perhaps he wasn�t making any sense,
but he didn�t want to get off the phone; instead he shifted and took the lid
off the bottle.� �I guess that�s why I wanted
to hear your voice tonight...�� He lifted
the bottle to pour himself more but he was having a hard time seeing straight
and it clinked loudly against the glass.�
One more glass might help...

�Uh... Roy?� Ed said sounding
slightly nervous.�

Roy pulled the phone away for a
minute and downed the alcohol before murmuring, �Hm...�� He was feeling really tired and he wondered
how long he�d be able to stay on the phone.

�Don�t
you lik�never mind... I
mean... well... are you seeing � fuck!� Ed stammered, then
finally settled on a deflated, �What are you doing?��

Roy closed his eyes to stop the room
from spinning.� He was starting to feel a
little sick to his stomach.� �Listening
to your voice...� he answered.� �I miss
you.�� He paused for a moment, then said, �You�ve been so distant lately... and I�m not
sure...�� What am I saying?� Roy wondered
vaguely.� It was as if whatever was
coming out of his mouth was just bits and pieces of
thoughts that didn�t make any sense.

�I�m
distant!� What about you, bastard!� You�ve been giving me the fucking cold shoulder
since New Years!� What the fuck!� Ed
yelled and Roy
winced as a flash of pain raced through his head at Ed�s yelling.� He could hear Ed breathing hard into the
phone and he supposed he should be arguing the point, but he just
couldn�t.�

Instead
he simply said the truth, something he would have kept back if he had been
sober.� �You were supposed to ask me
out... remember?� I�ve been waiting...� I thought the no sex thing would remind
you... but I guess not.�� He felt a sharp
pain in his chest at that.� It really
hurt thinking that he really wasn�t that important to his young lover.� Tears threatened and sleep seemed about ready
to overtake him.�

Instead
of continuing, Roy
said, �It doesn�t matter, Ed.�� Really,
it didn�t... nothing mattered... �Just... never
mind.�� He could feel the darkness press
into him and he murmured, �I think I�m going to go to bed now.� I�m not feeling very good.�� That was an understatement.� With the emotional pain he was feeling, the
nausea in his stomach and the pain in his head, Roy just wanted to let himself
pass out.

He
reached over and set the receiver down and started to lose consciousness.� From somewhere in the darkness a phone rang,
but after a moment, Roy
was too far gone to pay it any attention.

;-;-;-;-;-;-;

Wakefulness
came in the form of a deafening buzzing noise that caused Roy�s head to ache painfully.� His eyes widened and he fumbled around trying
to silence his alarm clock.� When nothing
seemed to work, he finally settled on ripping the power cord from the device
and throwing it across the room where it slammed against the wall. �Roy
closed his eyes, before lying back down.

Sick.�

He was so
sick that he thought he was going to die.�
His head was killing him.� It
seemed as if the silence in the room was too loud.� Despite the fact that the blinds were closed,
the light from the window seemed like direct sunlight and it seeped through his
closed eyelids.� Grabbing his pillow, Roy pressed it over his
head.� It helped a little, but the sound
of the fabric from the pillow case rubbing against his face was much too loud
for him to tolerate.

Suddenly
both the light and the headache were overpowered by the urgent nausea in his
stomach.� He quickly got out of bed and
staggered to the bathroom where he fell to his knees, grabbed the sides of the
toilet, and emptied his stomach.�

Again and
again he retched until there was nothing left.�
This left his body with a weak, tingly feeling and his head felt like it
was going to explode any minute.� He
stared dully into the contaminated water for several moments before pushing
himself up and pressing the handle down.

Lurching
over to the sink, Roy
turned on the water, winced slightly at the sound, then rinsed out his
mouth.�� He held onto the counter,
swaying slightly as a feeling of lightheadedness swept over him.� When it passed, he stumbled over to the small
linen closet, grabbed a blanket, and staggered back into his room.�

Walking
unsteadily to the window, Roy
braved the bright light of the day that was shining through the closed blinds
and draped a blanket over the bar above the window to block out more
light.� It wasn�t perfect, but it made
the room quite dim and it helped immensely.

Lying
back on his bed, Roy
glanced at the half empty bottle of whisky before draping an arm over his
eyes.� What the hell had he been thinking
last night?� He rarely got drunk; he much
preferred to have control over himself.�
The last time he�d drunk so much was when Hughes had been killed...

Roy rubbed at his eyes.� He felt terrible, but he had work...� He supposed he could just not go in
today...� He glanced at the phone and
quickly made the decision before dialing.�
When no one picked up in General Hakuro�s
office, Roy
dialed a different number.

There
were a couple of rings then, �Division 352.�
Lieutenant Havoc speaking.�

Roy winced and pulled the phone away
from his ear for a moment, before croaking, �Lieutenant, I�m not coming in
today.� Do me a
favor and put a note on the general�s desk, would you?�

�Sure,
boss.� You sound like crap.� You get that bug that�s been going around?�

Roy wanted to tell Havoc to speak
quietly, but he�d rather not let the whole world he�d been stupid last night
and drank too much.� �Maybe,� he said
noncommittally.�

�Well,
rest up.�

After
assuring the man that he would, Roy
set the receiver down and snuggled into his covers and fell back asleep.

;-;-;-;-;-;-;

Roy�s eyes cracked open when he heard
an insistent knocking on his front door. �The sound seemed to reverberate through his
head and he groaned at the pain.� Forcing
himself out of his bed, Roy
stumbled down the stairs and unlocked the door.�

�Good
morning, sir.�

Roy squinted and waved Lieutenant
Hawkeye inside before quickly shutting the door.� He blinked at her and said, �Lieutenant?�

�I heard
you were sick and I thought I�d come down here to see if there was anything you
needed,� she said with a hint of concern in her voice.

Right, Roy thought sarcastically.� Of
course you only came out of the goodness of your heart.� You�d never come to see if I was faking it or
not...

He leaned
against the wall and shook his head.�
This only made him feel dizzy and even more nauseated.� �Thanks for the thought, but I just need
rest.�

She
nodded and put her hand on the doorknob.�
�Are you sure I can�t get you anything?� she asked, this time in genuine
concern, Roy
simply waved a hand.� If he shook his
head again, he�d probably sick up all over her
boots.

�Well, I
hope you feel better soon.�

He nodded
slightly and watched her leave before staggering up the stairs.� Crawling slowly under the covers, Roy closed his eyes and
was asleep again after a few minutes.

;-;-;-;-;-;-;

Roy�s eyes snapped open when he heard
the sound of knocking at his front door.�
Letting out his breath in exasperation, he rolled out of bed and lurched
down the stairs yet again.� Two
unannounced visitors in one day...� It
was as if fate were punishing him for being an idiot.� There was silence for a moment, then a loud
banging that made Roy
wince.�

�Roy, open up, dammit!� I know
you�re in there!��

Roy stopped and frowned at the
door.� Ed was exactly what his head
needed at the moment... he mused sarcastically.�
He toyed with the idea of not opening the door.� After all, Ed had been rather pissy lately, and he really wasn�t in the mood to deal with
the teen�s loud and angry shouting.

But he
did want to see Ed, and that made him feel like a stupid teenager.� He could see the blond anytime, yet he wanted
to see him enough to be willing to deal with him even when he was sick.�

Grabbing
the doorknob, Roy
opened the door and looked blearily at Ed before squeezing his eyes shut.� Putting a finger to his lips, Roy moved aside so that
Ed could come in.

He heard
a snort from the younger alchemist before, �Why are you telling me to be
quiet?� It�s not like you have anyone
over.�� Roy blinked at him as Ed closed the door and
saw that he was carrying a small cup and a muffin.� �Here, I don�t know if you feel like it, but
I got coffee and a muffin.�� Following Ed
into the kitchen, Roy
made a hushing sound.� Each syllable made
him want to scream in agony.

Roy glanced at the muffin and even
though he couldn�t smell it, just the thought made him want to sick up again.�
�Very thoughtful...� he whispered and leaned against the wall.� He was slightly regretting letting Ed in.� The teen�s loud voice and stomping boots made
his head ache and his body was screaming at him to go back to bed.

�What�s
wrong with you?� Did you catch the flu?�
Ed asked, not making any effort to lower his voice.� The teen frowned and set the cup and muffin
on the counter.� Turning around, Ed
hoisted himself up and sat on the counter next to the food, hands and elbows on
his thighs.� Normally, Roy would feel irritated at this, counters
were for food not for sitting... but right now he felt too sick to care.

Glancing
at the coffee, then again at Ed, Roy
stepped forward, picked up the cup and took a sip.� It tasted like shit, but he worked hard to
keep his face neutral.� It was likely
that the coffee tasted so bad because of his own sense
of taste at the moment, but he was determined not to tell Ed he didn�t like the
coffee.� He didn�t want to hurt Ed�s
feelings...

�Thanks,�
he whispered, then gave Ed a small smile in an effort to convey the fact that
he really did appreciate the thought.� At
that, Ed gave a small smile back.� Roy swallowed hard and,
hoping he wouldn�t throw up again, he said quietly, �I�m going back to
bed.�� Roy turned around and began staggering
away.��

�Well,
wait!� Ed yelled and Roy
squeezed his eyes shut at the pain.� �Are
you kicking me out!�

Turning
around, Roy
said, �I�m not kicking you out; I just need to lie down... You don�t have to
stay in the kitchen... just... just whisper...�� With that said, Roy turned around and
started up the stairs.�

When he
finally got back to his room, Roy
sat heavily on the bed and pushed the bottle and glass aside to make room for
the cup before lying down.� It felt so
good to lie down...� He closed his eyes
and welcomed the cool feeling of the sheets and of the dim room itself.� There was silence for a moment before the
teen, who had followed him up, said in a low voice,
�Why were you drinking last night?�
Something happen?�

Roy could hear the soft footfalls
come toward him and he opened his eyes.�
Why had he been drinking so much?�
He remembered coming home, and how exhausted he�d been.� He remembered thinking about Ed, and slicing
himself some cheese and pouring himself a drink, then two, then...

He
glanced at Ed.� The last thing he could
remember thinking of was Ed, but his memory was a bit fuzzy after the third
drink.� He vaguely remembered coming
upstairs, but...� �Ed...� he
whispered.� �I don�t know.� I don�t really remember.� I remember the first couple of drinks; I
usually have at least one at the end of the day, two if it�s been a bad
day.� After that, I don�t remember.�

�Hmm...�
Ed hummed not looking at him.� �Um... Roy?� Ed finally said
hesitantly.� �Do you...�� The teen sighed before running his hand
through his bangs.� �Can I lay down with
you?�

What kind of a question is that? Roy wondered.�
Of course Ed could lay with him.�
What Roy
wanted most was to be able to touch him and feel him...� �I would like that,� he whispered.

With a
half smile, Ed sat on the bed, took his shoes and jacket off, then scooted over
to snuggled into Roy�s arms and shoulder.�
�I really missed this...� Ed murmured into Roy�s throat.�
�Why are you being so mean to me lately?�

A small
bit of irritation flitted through him at that.�
He hadn�t done anything to Ed.�
What could he possibly be talking about? ��Me?� he muttered. ��Who is it who has been yelling and stomping
around?�� He tightened his grip on Ed,
but it wasn�t much given how weak he felt.

�Yeah,
but why are you all, like... I don�t know... weird all of a sudden; pushing me
away and shit.� I don�t get it.� What�d I do?�� Roy
felt guilt bite at his heart when he heard Ed�s voice crack a little.

Rubbing
Ed�s back, Roy
said quietly, �I...�� He shook his head,
trying to come up with something that sounded reasonable.� �I wasn�t...��
He kissed Ed�s forehead, then lightly rested his chin there.� �I was waiting for you to pursue me, to ask
me out, like we�d talked about.�� He gave
a small laugh at how ridiculous it sounded out loud.� �But it just never happened.� I thought maybe you decided it was too much
trouble, or maybe if you weren�t getting any sex then it wasn�t worth your
time.� I didn�t mean for you to feel
pushed away...�� Roy trailed off.� He�d never really thought about how Ed might
be perceiving things.�

�Shithead...�� Ed
mumbled. ��I didn�t think that you�d stop
wanting to be around me, I just thought that it�d all be
the same �cept for the sex...� You really fucked with my mind, you know
that?� Ed said as he slipped a hand under Roy�s
pajama top and started rubbing his back before burrowing into Roy�s neck.

�I never
stopped wanting to be around you,� Roy
said, feeling a little appalled at the ridiculous notion.� �The longer I didn�t have you, the more I
wanted you...�� He sighed and a small
moan slipped out at the touches on his sensitive skin.� If he wasn�t so hung over, he�d grab the teen
and start fucking his brains out.� Ed�s words repeated in his mind and he said,
�At lest I got to fuck with something that was you...�

�Phft!� Can you,
like, not be a pervert for two minutes, please?� Ed said with a chuckle.� �So... I did try to plan a date... the other
day, that�s what I was working on when you surprised me.�� Ed�s hand lowered and Roy felt his body respond.� Dammit... He couldn�t deal with this right
now...

Roy was silent for a moment,
remembering what had happened the day before, then he
said, �That was a lot
of paper to plan a date.�� He followed
this with another involuntary moan.�
Couldn�t Ed see that he was sick?�
Why the hell was he doing this to him?�
It wasn�t as if he didn�t want it, because he did, but that was the
point!� He�d said no sex until the date,
and he hated going back on what he said, even when he knew it would be for the
best.� Damn his pride... Maybe that�s why
Ed was doing this... Roy
felt like Ed was trying to take control and it was slightly uncomfortable, but
at the same time he was so sick that he was at a point that he didn�t really
care.

�You�re a
complicated guy,� Ed said and snuggled closer.�
Nudging Roy�s chin with his nose, Ed
slipped his tongue out to lick Roy�s
neck right beneath his ear.

�You
know...� Roy
said, feeling what little self control he possessed wither under Ed�s touching
and kissing.� �This isn�t fair... You�re
trying to take advantage of me while I�m sick.�
I haven�t even gotten my date yet...��
Roy
couldn�t help feeling like a whiny child, and instead of moving away like he
normally might, he kneaded his fingers against Ed�s back, wanting him.� Wanting him very bad.

Ed moved
under the touch and said, �I�m a teenager.�
A very horny teenager.� Give me a break!� I don�t want to stop.� If you want to make me, go ahead.�� With that said, Ed
took Roy�s
earlobe in his mouth and ran his tongue across it.

Roy moaned.� This was just too much...� �I don�t think I could stop you if I wanted
to, but, Ed...� I really don�t feel
well... I don�t know how much I�d be able to contribute.�

�Damn, and I�m �bout ready to burst.� Just jerk me off, please.� I can�t take this,� Ed said, pressing his
lower body close to Roy
so that he could feel Ed�s erection.�
�I�ll do you after if you want me to.�
It�s not like that�s really sex, right?�

Roy shook his head and instantly
regretted it when a sharp pain knifed into his skull.� �It just depends on how you look at
it...�� He paused, then trying not to put
too much thought into it, reached down to fumble with Ed�s belt.� He wanted this in the worst way and didn�t
have the will power to stop.� When the
belt stubbornly refused to unbuckle, Roy
made a sound of exasperation and pulled his hand away.� �Take your belt and pants off,� Roy commanded quietly.

Grinning
like an idiot, Ed sat up and quickly undid the belt.� The teen made a soft groaning sound and said,
�Sex is intercourse; there�s no intercourse here...� Ed trailed off and pulled
his pants off before tossing them across the room.� He pulled off his shirt, then
started at Roy�s
clothes.

Roy smirked inside.� �Intercourse is intercourse, Ed,� he
explained watching Ed work.� �Sex can be
different things.� Sex can be intercourse, it can be anal, oral, solo... It can be a noun
or a verb.� It can just refer to giving
into those urges and making yourself cum.�
If you only limit your definition of sex to intercourse, you lose a
lot...�� He trailed off as a shiver ran
through him due to Ed relieving him of his clothes.� �So, you see, it really depends...�� Roy
reached out and lightly touched Ed�s skin.�
�A hand job is just sex in the loosest form of the word...�

�Shut
up,� Ed said, pressing his lips hard against Roy�s, and moving his hands down to pull down
the pajama pants.

Breathing
heavily, Roy
murmured around Ed�s lips, �This seems like a lot for non-sex.�� He put one of his hands on Ed�s back and
another one on the teen�s chest.

�Well
you,� Ed started and gasped when Roy�s
fingers caught slightly on his nipples.� �Made me wait so fucking long... fuck yeah!�� Ed straddled Roy�s pelvis and bent down to nip at his
neck.

�It�s not
like you didn�t have your hand, Ed...� Roy
moaned.� �Dammit... that feels so
good...�� He reached back and pulled the
hair tie from Ed�s hair.� He wanted to
see the golden strands framing Ed�s face, and he wanted to feel them brush
against his skin when Ed�s head was close.�
Trying to undo the braid with one hand, Roy reached down to feel Ed�s ass with the
other.

After all
his effort, Ed sat up and shook his hair out, making Roy smile.�
�I like it better when it�s you.�
It�s always better when it�s you.�
I fucking love it when you touch me,� Ed said licking his lips and
slowly rolling his hips so that his erection rubbed against Roy�s stomach.

Roy let his hands move down Ed�s side,
feeling the smooth skin under his fingers.�
�It�s always better with you too...� Roy said, though it was sort of a half
truth.� While most of the time it really
was very good with Ed, and he always loved feeling Ed�s body, sometimes he
thought it would be better if he did it himself, like when the teen tried to
give him hand jobs.� It wasn�t that Ed
was exactly bad in that area, just
not... well, it just wasn�t as good.�
Now, when it came to shoving his cock up Ed�s ass, that was definitely better.�

His hand
traveled down further to Ed�s erection and slowly began stroking it.� �Holy shit!� Ed
exclaimed.� �Yeah, like that...� he
moaned and closed his eyes.� �Don�t
stop,� he said breathily.

Roy continued to stroke the teen with
one hand, then moved his other hand to rub the inside
of Ed�s thigh.� �I want to hear your
voice, Ed...� he whispered, then licked his lips and swallowed hard.� �I want to hear how you like it.�

Throwing
his head back, Ed moaned, �Harder, Roy...
I�m so close...�� Groaning, Ed thrust hard
into Roy�s
hand.� Roy watched intently as Ed moved.� The image was so hot, so fucking arousing
that he wasn�t sure he�d be able to stand it.�
His hips longed to move the same as Ed�s and he wished that his cock was
buried inside of the teen so that he could thrust with Ed.� At the thought of plunging himself into Ed, Roy reached around and
squeezed Ed�s ass.

�Roy!� Ed cried, and he
tried to ignore the pain in his head from Ed�s yelling as the teen climaxed,
squirting his chest with warm, milky cum, and dripping some on his wrist and
hand.� He felt some of it trickle slowly
down to the concave of his stomach and a few drops dribbled down his side
before Ed exhaled heavily moving his head down, though careful to avoid getting
cum on his stomach.

Roy pressed his lips together and
wiped the cum from his hand onto the sheet before
wrapping his arm around Ed.� �You looked
very sexy,� he said quietly.� It was the
truth.� Ed gave him some of the hottest
shows ever, perhaps because they were so real and sincere; so in the
moment.� Most of the females Roy had dated, and
surprisingly enough a few of the males too, were incredibly self-conscious
about how they looked in bed.� It wasn�t
nearly as good to watch them...

Ed
sighed.� �I needed that...�� There was a long pause, then, �Do
you...?�� Ed trailed off, rolled himself
off of Roy and wrapped a hand around Roy�s erection.�

Roy didn�t need Ed to say anything
else.� He knew what the teen meant.� �Mmmmm... I
would...� he said and watched Ed expectantly.

Ed licked
his lips and began nibbling at Roy�s
chest, licking up the stickiness from his skin.�
The teen paused at Roy�s
stomach and glanced up.� �Tell me what
you want, Roy,�
Ed asked, voice heavy with desire.�

Roy grinned and lightly took a hold
of Ed�s head with his fingers.� What he
wanted was one thing he loved Ed to do, but it was also something the teen
rarely did.� Ed had been vocally adamant
about how gross it was in the beginning, but over time, he�d become less loud
about it; something that Roy
attributed to the teen maturing.�

�I want
you to go down on me...� Roy
breathed.� �I want you to suck me off,
Ed... I want to see my cock in your mouth...��
Just saying those words made Roy�s
heart speed up.� He could imagine it in
his mind, but to say the words out loud was much more powerful.� He felt himself become even harder at the
prospect of Ed doing this for him.�

Smirking,
Ed moved his mouth to Roy�s
cock and moved his tongue around the tip for a moment, then wetly dragged his
tongue around the head before moving it down.�
Even in the dim interior of the room, Roy could make out the saliva Ed had left on
his erection, and the teen�s loose hair tickled his skin adding to the
excitement of it.� He sucked in his
breath as Ed took the head of Roy�s cock in his
mouth, and when Ed sucked hard, Roy�s
eyes widened slightly at the pleasure of it.

After
that initial suck, Ed moved his mouth over as much of Roy�s erection as he could.� Roy
opened his mouth and panted at the warm, wetness.� He had the strongest desire to push down hard
on Ed�s head, to force more of himself into the teen�s
mouth, but instead he simply began softly kneading Ed�s head.� �Oh, yes...�
Just like that...� he moaned.�
�That feels so damn good...��

Moaning
with each breath, Roy
knew he should probably just let Ed work, but he couldn�t fight the desire to
thrust.� Tightening his fingers slightly
on Ed�s head, Roy
began rocking his hips and thrusting himself into Ed�s mouth.� He could feel the teen relax his throat,
letting Roy
force himself deeper.� With this, Ed was
amazing, truly fucking amazing.� He�d
only been with one other person that he�d been able to skull fuck so deeply
like this.� In Roy�s opinion, this was the best damn thing
Ed had ever learned how to do.

Moaning
loudly, Roy
tightened his grip on Ed�s head.� �I�m
going to cum...� he said, trying to give Ed a little bit of warning before it
happened.� Thrusting
a few more times, Roy
climaxed, squirting himself down Ed�s throat.�
The teen swallowed what he gave, and Roy made an �ah� sound each time Ed�s throat
muscles contracted around him, amplifying the normally small aftershocks.��

Finally, Roy moaned loudly and let
himself lay in exhaustion on the bed.� He
stared at the ceiling, thinking that despite how horrible he felt, this had definitely
helped him.� He felt so relaxed that he
thought he could drop off to sleep.�
After a moment, Ed crawled up beside him and lay down, snuggling against
his body.�

�So, how about no intercourse until a successful date, but hand and
mouth privileges are allowed?� Ed asked.

Well,
that took away some of the challenge... but at this point Roy didn�t really
care.� He was sick and tired, but still
enjoying the afterglow of what had just happened.� �Okay...� he said, giving into what Ed wanted
before kissing the teen�s head.� �I spoil
you too much, I think...� he said quietly, trying to ward off the pain in his
head that had seemed to briefly disappear when he�d been screwing Ed, but had
come back with a vengeance.� Bringing his
hands up, Roy
put one on Ed�s back and pressed one to his forehead before squeezing his eyes
shut.

�I don�t
think you spoil me,� he heard Ed say with a small pout to his voice.� It was just on the tip of his tongue to ask
Ed if he wanted to stop being spoiled to see the difference, when Ed said, �Was
that too much for you?� You didn�t seem
to mind...�

�I�m
still hung over...�� That was an
understatement...� �But I don�t regret
it.� It was good.� Very good.� Thank you,
Ed, and, yes, I do spoil you.� I give you
more than anyone.�� He paused, giving
that a moment of thought.� �But I don�t
regret that either.�� He didn�t regret
it.� Ed was different than anyone else
he�d ever been with.� He was special...
He made Roy
feel... alive.

He felt
Ed�s chin rest on his chest where his hand was.�
�You should call in sick more often.�
We could do this all day.� Hey,
have you ever spoiled anyone else?� Like,
before me?� Ed asked, and Roy
wanted to say, �I thought you said I didn�t spoil you.��

Instead
he opened his eyes and petted Ed�s hair.�
�I don�t think calling in sick more often would be a good idea.� Hawkeye actually came by to �check on me�
after I called in.�� Bitch, he thought.�
�Sometimes I wonder who�s the commanding officer in
that office.�� He chuckled, then looked at Ed fondly.�

�No...� he
said, answering Ed�s question.� �No one like you.�
There�s never been anyone like you.�
I�ve never treated anyone like you before.� You are...��
He paused, thinking about his earlier thoughts and gently touched Ed�s
cheek.� �You are special...� No one else has been able to make me want to
give in so much.�� He paused and moved a
piece of hair that was hanging in front of Ed�s face.� �I�ve never spoiled anyone like you...�� Roy
thought that this hang over thing was bad for him in more ways than one.� He couldn�t seem to keep his personal
thoughts inside.

�Why�d
you like me in the first place...� Ed asked.� �I wasn�t very nice to you in the
beginning...�� He paused, then mumbled, �I always wondered that.�

�At first?� Roy
asked.� �You mean, as in... why did I
pursue you?��

�Yeah, �cause you never told me what you like about me.�� Ed laid on his side and rested his head on
Roy�s shoulder before throwing an arm over Roy�s chest and reaching up to play
with the hair on the back of his neck.

Roy cleared his throat.� What could he say?� Should he tell Ed the truth or just sweet
talk him?� Ed was getting to be quite
mature... maybe he�d be able to handle the truth.� After all, he�d heard that it was best to be
truthful to your mate.� He�d never
followed that before, but then he�d never called anyone his mate before.� He cared so much for Ed... maybe
it would just be best to be honest.� Ed
could handle it because he was becoming an adult and because Roy was pretty sure that Ed cared for him
just as much as he did for Ed.

�Well...�
he began.� �Actually at first I just
wanted to fuck you.� Sorry.�� He glanced cautiously at Ed, then went on.� �You
had so much energy that I was extremely curious if it would extend to your sex
life.�� There was also the fact that he
had wanted to bring Ed low, but Roy
didn�t think that kind of honesty would be appreciated.� �And, of course, you didn�t seem to like me
very much so that really added to the thrill of the hunt...� he added.

�What!�
Ed exclaimed, sitting up and glaring down at him.� �You�re fucking kidding, right?�

Roy grabbed Ed�s arm and said, �Just
wait, and don�t shout...�� What was Ed�s
problem anyway?� Everything he�d said was
supposed to be flattering.� If Ed wasn�t
good looking he wouldn�t want to fuck him at all.

�I�ll shout
if I wanna shout,� Ed returned, trying to pull Roy�s hand away.� �I can�t believe
what a fucking pervert you are!�

�Dammit,
Edward...� Roy
said, and let Ed slip out of his grasp.�
He was just too weak to hold on.�
�Yes, I�m a pervert,� he conceded, deciding it was best to just agree
with Ed for now.� Whether someone was a
pervert or not was in the eye of the beholder.�
�But you know my reputation...� I
usually only went out with people to have sex with them.� How many people do you think I screwed before
you?� How many am I still with, or even
better, how many did I stay with longer than a week?� he asked, trying to get
Ed to understand just how special he was to him.� If he didn�t care, then he wouldn�t have gone
through all the effort, and he wouldn�t still be with
him now.� �Now, if you�ll just stay there
and let me speak, you�ll get the answer to your question.�

Ed glared
down at him, but didn�t move back to his previous spot.� �I don�t even want to think about how many
people you�ve had sex with...� Ed said petulantly before glancing away and
staring angrily at the wall.

Roy sighed again at how difficult his
young lover was being.� �Ed...� he began,
desperately wanting to explain this so that Ed would understand.� �It was during the time that I spent trying
to get you that I started to realize how much I enjoyed being with you. �You weren�t like anyone I�d ever been
with.� You were smart and you kept me on
my toes.� It was invigorating to be
around you.� Despite our differences, you
became an addiction for me, even before I ever succeeded in getting you into
bed.� By the time we actually had sex, I
already wanted to be with you for more than that.� Yes, I wanted you for sex first, but that�s
not the only reason I want you now...�
Why should the past matter?�

�I was
just curious,� Ed said crossly.

Roy reached up and touched Ed�s face,
trying to think of something to say that would make things better.� �I might not have told you before,
but...� You�re becoming an adult and I
think you can handle the truth,� Roy
said, running a thumb over Ed�s lips.�
That should make Ed happy.� He
liked being told how mature he was becoming.

�I�m
sorry that the truth isn�t very romantic, but you should be happy that you also
have the honor of being the only one I�ve ever been honest with...�� He trailed off.� It was such a personal thing to tell,
especially since it made him sound like a real sleaze, but perhaps by giving a
little more of himself than was comfortable, Ed would understand him
better.� His head pounded, and he felt
completely exhausted.� �Please don�t
go...� he said softly.

Ed
swallowed and blinked before frowning and looking down in a way where his hair
covered his face.� Roy could hear Ed�s irregular breathing and
could feel him messing with the sheet.� �Honored?� ...I�d rather you weren�t so blunt... it
hurts,� The last was a soft whisper that Roy
almost missed.� �You could have said it
nicer, I don�t like... never mind,� Ed said, pain lacing through his voice,
then laid back down in his previous spot.

Roy held him tightly and frowned at
the stiffness he felt from Ed.� What did
he say that was wrong?� He�d thought he
was giving Ed what he wanted.� He thought
he�d said things that would make Ed happy.�
He thought...� Well, it didn�t
matter what he thought, obviously he had been incorrect, but what was he
supposed to say now?�

�Nothing
I say is right, is it?� he finally said.� �Nothing I do...� he trailed off and let his
breath out slowly.� �I don�t always think
of saying things the nice way with you, Ed, and when I do act �nice� you think
I�m treating you like a girl or something.�
I�m not sure what you want from me...� he trailed off as he petted Ed�s
hair.�

Just tell me what to do, and I�ll
do it... he
thought, but he couldn�t say it.� He was
done talking about this.� He�d already
been shot down for sharing himself, he didn�t want
that to happen again.� It was all so
confusing and it hurt... hurt his heart and hurt his pride.

�Like I
know?� It�s all new to me, you know,� Ed
answered, then sighed.� �I don�t know how
to act well for anything...�

Roy kissed Ed�s forehead.� �I didn�t mean to hurt you,� he said, trying
to sooth his young lover.

�Yeah,
okay...� Ed said and relaxed into Roy.� �Forget I even brought it up.�

That was
fine with Roy.� His head hurt even more now, and the nausea
was still ever present.� He lay there for
a while, thinking about the conversation they�d just had, then
said, �Ed?�

�Hmm?� came the drowsy response.

�Why me?�

�Eh?� Ed
mumbled, looking up in confusion.

�You
asked me why I liked you... in essence why I chose you... Well, why me?� I mean... Like you said, we didn�t get
along...�� Roy glanced at Ed and realized that it was a
childish thing to ask and he never would have even thought of asking if Ed
hadn�t have asked it first.� �You don�t
have to answer.� Never mind that I even
brought it up...� he said, and glanced away.�

Ed rested
his head back on Roy�s
shoulder and after several moments, the teen said, �Well... I like your eyes,
and your voice is... shiver inspiring... but I didn�t really notice until after
we were together.� I guess I was
attracted to your power at first.�� Ed
laughed.� �I love the way your uniform swirls
around you when you snap your fingers.�
It�s very sexy.�

Roy stared at Ed quietly for several
moments.� What Ed had just said was so
nice...� It was... well, not what he had
expected, and Roy
had a bad feeling that Ed had wanted something like that from him.� �I...� he stopped and looked at the
ceiling.� �I don�t know what to say...�
he said breathily.� �That�s so...�� He paused.�
�Flattering.��
It was the only word he could think of.�
It was flattering.� Maybe that�s
what Ed was trying to do.� Maybe he was
just trying to please him with hollow words. �Roy
had done that plenty of times before to both Ed and others and he knew they
meant nothing.� Roy tried not to dwell on this and instead
said, �Thank you...�� He didn�t know if
Ed meant them or not, but he wasn�t in the mood to find out either.

�Yeah,
you get off on that shit, I know you do,� Ed returned, then sighed and snuggled
more closely to him.� Roy frowned at what the teen had said.� It was almost as if Ed had said, �I didn�t
really mean it but I wanted to say something nice, you son-of-a bitch, get the
hint.�

�I just
didn�t expect something so eloquent,� he said quietly and closed his eyes.� He held Ed close, deciding not to think about
it for now.� He couldn�t.� He was too exhausted, and too sick.� With his eyes closed, he started to drift off
to sleep.

�Hmm� bet
you never knew I had it in me,� Ed said with a yawn.

You�re right... Roy thought.� I�d never thought to hear
hollow flattery from you.� �You learn
something new everyday,� he mumbled, half asleep now, and when he heard nothing
else, Roy gave
in to the darkness and slept.

--

Be sure
to check out kikiko�s Ed�s POV.

--

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The More I Learn to Care For You - Roy's POV