Pull the Trigger and the Nightmare Stops�

Disclaimer: I don’t own any of the Gundam boys, I just like to imagine them in my own little world (which is totally of my making). No profits are made from this story, just gratuitous pleasure.

Summary: They were thrust together at the age of 14, members of an assassins guild, then rudely ripped apart at the age of 21. Now, three years later, Duo walks back into Heero's life. The rollercoaster ride has just begun as they must learn to live together once more and to love each other again. Life isn’t always easy, living with Duo, and Heero has to fight hard to remember that.

Rating: NC-17

Warning Codes: Anal,Angst,AR,H/C,Lang,M/M,OC,Oral,Solo,Violence,WAFF,WIP,Yaoi

Pairings: 1x2


Feedback is appreciated. I enjoy hearing from all of my readers. You are what makes writing worth while. I hope that you enjoy reading it.

My sincere thanks to the following:

Dragon: Thank you for the encouragement.

To everyone else: Happy Turkey Day. I hope you are enjoying the story so far. I’d love to hear from more of you. Thanks for all of your support.

~*~

Pull the Trigger and the Nightmare Stops…

“dear my friends in the time we've spent forever after beyond this when will our nightmare ever end?
pull the trigger and the nightmare stops...”

Part. 5

They went to their respective rooms to change into more comfortable clothes and Duo met Heero in the living room, where Heero offered him a drink, but Duo only took a plain coke, while Heero mixed a liberal splash of whiskey in with his, then they settled in to watch a movie that Duo chose.

It was a sappy romantic comedy of the type Duo loved and Heero tolerated, but a couple of whiskey and cokes made it more palatable. Soon Heero reached out and pulled Duo close to him, Duo's head on his shoulder, his hand absently stroking Duo's arm and occasionally his hair. As he made no other advances, Duo relaxed, allowing Heero the contact he seemed to crave on a subconscious level.

As the movie ended, Heero tipped Duo's face towards his, his eyes searching the suddenly uncomfortable face. With a sigh, he sat up, gently pushing Duo away, then stood.

“It’s late. We should go to bed. You must be tired after all of today’s excitement,” Heero said, not looking at Duo at first. Then he turned, a smile on his face, his hand held out.

Duo accepted it and stood with him, unsure of what to do next, but followed when Heero led him towards the bedrooms, shutting off the lights as they went. They stopped at the door of the master bedroom, and Heero dropped his hand.

“Well, goodnight, babe,” he said, kissing Duo on the forehead and gently pushing him through the door, then started to shut it.

Duo put his hand on the door, holding it open.

“That’s all? Goodnight? That’s all?” he asked, suddenly confused. He’d felt sure that Heero was going to want to sleep with him, even though they’d gotten this elaborate apartment with the two bedrooms. He’d thought for sure that Heero would at least want to share a bed with him, would want to try to at least seduce him. And he’d prepared himself for it, ready to accept Heero, if that was what he wanted. That Heero would actually sleep apart from him, as he’d said he would, was reassuring, but at the same time it made him feel lost.

“That’s all, babe,” said Heero sadly. “I’m sorry, but that’s all there is. That, and I love you and if I stay here one minute longer, I’m going to rape you, so yeah, just goodnight. Goodnight, babe,” and he pulled the door closed in Duo's startled face and moved quickly down the hall to his own room, locking the door behind himself, then threw himself sobbing onto his bed.

~*~

Damn, this was going to be hard. Everything was good, right up to that damned door, when they had to say good night. Fuck. What made him think he could do this? Fuck. He had to. He could control this. Shit. He was a trained assassin, for fuck’s sake. He was a killer with no emotions. Why was one little indigo eyed boy making him come undone at the seams? Fuck it all. This was going to be harder then he ever imagined.

Treize had wrought too well, when he’d chosen Duo to be Heero's heart. The allure that Duo had for him was almost overpowering, almost unbearable. Fuck, the pain was so bad it felt like a hot knife in his gut. Was every night going to be like this one? He wasn’t sure how long he could take the pain.

Heero rolled to his back, his hand going down to his painful erection, loosening his pants, preparing to at least take care of one of the burning pains that was shooting through his body.

He pumped his cock with a hard, callous stroke, only wanting to get off as soon as he could, pleasure having no place in this particular exercise, and tears ran down his face as he gasped and neared climax.

He thought he registered a gentle tap on his door through his pain hazed mind, but he couldn’t be sure. Then he heard Duo's voice, just as he climaxed, coming to the sound of his lover calling his name.

“Heero? Heero, unlock the door. Please? Heero? Can you hear me? Heero, please let me in,” Duo begged. “Heero.”

“Go back to your room, Duo,” Heero responded in a low, raspy voice. “Please, just go back to your room and leave me alone.”

He could hear Duo crying as he went back down the hall to his room, and he knew he’d have to go talk to him. He just needed to regroup, regain his composure and clean himself up. Wiping the remains of his excess off of himself with his shirt, he grabbed some clean clothes and went to the bathroom to wash up. Looking at himself in the mirror, and feeling that he didn’t look too bad, he went down to Duo's room and knocked on the door.

The door flew open and Duo rushed into his arms, clutching at him tightly, his head buried under Heero's chin. Heero led him back into his room and sat on the bed with him. He stroked the long hair and made soft noises, trying to get Duo to release his death grip. Finally, he just pulled Duo away from him.

“Duo, we have to talk,” he said heavily. Duo only nodded mutely, bottom lip quivering, eyes filled with tears.

“Babe, you’re making this hard,” said Heero, tiredly. “You’re sending so many mixed signals, I don’t know what to do. One minute you don’t want to be touched, you’re pulling away from me looking like that last thing in the world that you want is me close to you and yet when I go to walk away, giving you space, not touch you if that’s what you want, you’re asking: Is that it? Is that all? You’re leaving me? You’re just walking away? What the fuck, Duo? One way or the other. Either it’s platonic or it’s sexual, which is it?”

“You don’t help,” said Duo, sniffing back the tears. “I’m not sure what I want. You’re always touching me, holding my hand, arm around me, something and it feels nice, then you stop and leave. What’s up with that? You make it hard for me, too.”

“I stop because when I look at you, when I look into your eyes, I see that you are only tolerating it, my touches, my advances, and that’s not what I want, you just tolerating it,” said Heero, sadness showing in his deep blue eyes. “I don’t want you accepting my touch because you feel you have to, that you feel that it’s what I expect from you, so I stop, so you won’t have to. That’s not what I want to see when I look at you, Duo, when I touch you. I’m sorry.”

“Huh, so yeah, I guess you’re right,” Heero continued, looking at the ground. “It’s not you, it’s not your fault. It’s me. I’m sorry. I just like to touch you, you’re so sweet, so beautiful, it just happens. I don’t even think about it. I’m sorry. I’m wrong to do that to you, to put you in that position. I’ll stop. We can’t make it work like this if I can’t keep my hands to myself.”

“Let’s go to bed and start over tomorrow. And tell me when I’m overstepping my bounds, alright Duo?” Heero stood, gave him a stroke on the head and turned away before Duo could see the heartbreak in his eyes.

“Heero? I’m sorry, too. Maybe this isn’t such a good idea. Maybe I should…” Duo started to say.

“NO! We’ll make this work. You’re not leaving me. Promise me, Duo Maxwell. Swear to me that you won’t leave,” said Heero, not turning, his back stiff, fists clenched.

“I promise,” said Duo softly. “I’ll stay.”

“Thank you. I’ll see you in the morning, Duo,” Heero said as he walked out once more. This time he would cut all physical contact and all terms of endearment. Obviously they wouldn’t work to help him get his beloved Duo back. He would make a concerted effort to watch what he said and did with Duo. He would just have to hope that in time his Duo would come back to him completely.

Heero walked back to his cold, empty bedroom, to lay and stare at the ceiling of the unfamiliar room, wondering how things had ever gotten this way, and what he could do to go about fixing them. All he had ever dreamed of was having Duo back, and now his dream was turning into a nightmare.

~*~

Duo lay curled around his pillow, Heero's last words still ringing in his ears.

‘I’ll see you in the morning, Duo.’ Not babe, Duo. Heero had always called him babe, before. Did that mean that Heero was really trying to put their relationship on the platonic level? Well, wasn’t that what he’d wanted? Hadn’t he said it so many times, he wasn’t gay? Wasn’t Heero just trying to respect his wishes? Wasn’t this what he had wanted? To be left alone? Then why had he spent so long looking for Heero Yuy, for this man, if not to spend the rest of his life with him? Surely not to just be his platonic friend.

No, it was because Heero had been his lover. His only lover, the only one who had ever cared for him, loved him, who was still caring for him. So why couldn’t he give that man what he wanted? All he wanted was Duo's love. Was it such a bad thing?

Duo remembered the long hours spent in Heero's arms when they were young. He’d been safe and loved. Heero had protected him and worshiped him. His touch had made Duo tremble, his kisses left Duo reeling, and his lovemaking had Duo gasping and screaming for more.

This was the same boy who loved him back then, only a man now. What had changed? For three long, hard years he had scratched and fought to make his way back to this man, only to reject him? And instead of casting him back into the gutter, this man took him back to his side and said they would make it work, on what ever terms Duo wanted. Said that he loved him, no matter what.

How could Duo not help falling in love with this man, just like he’d fallen in love with the boy who had always stood in front of him, daring the animals of the guild to just try and touch the trembling boy entrusted to his care.

Duo could feel these two people, the fourteen-year-old boy, Heero Yuy, and the 24 year old man that he had grown in to merge and become one in his aching heart.

A beatific smile graced his face as he got out of his bed and glided down the hall silently, opening the door to Heero's room.

As he stood in the open doorway, his long hair flowing around him like a veil, the moonlight hit him full on and he glowed like an angelic apparition.

Heero opened his eyes at the opening of the door and he felt as if he had died and been reborn. He held his arms out and Duo Maxwell surrendered himself to the man he loved, heart, soul and body. Heero closed his arms around his beloved, kissed him gently and fell into a deep, peaceful slumber. He awoke much later to a warm, wonderful armful of a naked, horny Duo Maxwell, who demanded that Heero prove his undying love before breakfast.

“Duo?” Heero asked sleepily, shaking his head. “Ah, weren’t we supposed to be, ah, platonic? Because this isn’t the way to do it, you know?”

“No. I decided that I loved you when you were 14, even if I didn’t really show it then, and I still love you,” said Duo. “I put you through hell these last couple of days, and you just, you wouldn’t stop. How could I not love that? I love you, Heero Yuy. I want to be your lover. Please, make me you lover?”

“What ever you want, babe,” said Heero with a slow grin. “Your wish is my command. But are you sure you’re ready for this? I may not let you out of bed for a while. Maybe days, weeks. I have a lot of time to make up, you know.”

“Then let’s go to my room,” said Duo, with an answering grin. “The bed’s bigger.”

Then he squealed and jumped when Heero swatted him on his cheeky ass. He bolted for his room with Heero close behind and they landed laughing on the big bed in the master suite.

“Hey, babe?” Heero gasped.

“What?” panted Duo.

“Have I told you today that I love you?” he asked, punctuating it with a kiss.

“Yes, but tell me again,” Duo purred, rubbing up against him.

“I missed you, Duo,” whispered Heero, his lips against Duo's temple. “I missed you like you wouldn’t believe. I’m so glad you’re back and if this is a dream, I hope I never wake up from it.”

“It’s no dream, lover,” Duo answered with a kiss to his nose. “It’s all about as real as it gets, me, my moods and all. It’s all yours.”

“Then I’ll take it babe, 'cos without you, my life isn’t worth living,” Heero sighed and pulled Duo into his arms, holding him and savoring the moment.

“Hey,” he said, after a minute. “You’re not going to do another Jekyll and Hyde on me, are you?”

“No, that’s all over. I got my head all screwed back on straight,” said Duo, a little sheepishly. “It took me a while, but I finally got it figured out. This is exactly where I want to be, in your bed, in your arms. This is where I was the happiest, this is where I am happy. You make me happy.”

“Thanks, babe.” Heero could only smile at the compliment.

They lay together silently for a long while, just savoring each other’s presence, wrapped in the warmth of their rekindled love for each other, nothing else necessary for the moment.

Then Heero began to softly kiss Duo while his hands gently started to explore the body he hungered for so much.

His lips gently nibbled at Duo's and his tongue traced its way across his bottom lip before briefly delving inside to play a delightful game of tag with Duo's tongue. Then his sinfully tender mouth began to nibble and kiss it’s way across Duo's jaw and down to his neck, which Duo obligingly exposed for him, and where he marked Duo as his own, leaving a necklace of small, red bite marks across the fair skin.

Meanwhile, the hand that wasn’t currently tangled in the silken mass of Duo's long chestnut hair was touching, exploring, remembering. It stroked across a broad shoulder and down a muscular arm, stopping to entwine itself with slender, delicate fingers, then slid back up to explore a hairless expanse of chest, broken up by two pert nipples that it’s fingers teased briefly before that seductive mouth came down to steal them away.

Next. the adventurous hand made it’s playful way across the tight stomach to find the ticklish navel, where it spent some time, finger circling around and delving into that delightful indent, causing muscles to ripple and contract and delighted giggles to escape in between the gasps and delicate moans that were being elicited from the other’s mouth.

Soon bored by that play, the hand drifted over to a smooth hip that it caressed briefly before continuing it’s trek around to the curves of a very tight ass.

Now that seductive mouth returned to Duo's mouth, the tongue eager to play it’s game of tag once more, chasing Duo's tongue around his mouth, then inviting it back to play in Heero's mouth.

The hand on the ass kneaded it gently then pulled and Duo's body rolled, coming to rest full against Heero, the hand pulling his hips forward hard. Duo's erection met Heero's and Heero started to roll his hips against Duo's, bumping and grinding as their cocks slid back and forth against each other.

Heero was arching hard against Duo, his breath coming fast, climax near, so Duo grabbed his hips, thrusting hard against him. And Heero came. He came hard, then fell back, gasping and panting. Duo followed and curled up next to him, head on Heero’s shoulder, hand stroking his face, his hair flowing over both of their bodies.

Heero finally caught his breath and was able to bring back his scattered wits.

“Oh, god, Duo, I’ve never…” he panted. “No one’s ever… I mean… Babe, what did you do to me?”

“You just got rid of all of your pent up anxiety, I think,” said Duo smugly. “Did it feel good?”

“Good? It was the best sex I’ve had in a long time. It felt really good,” Heero admitted, sighing happily.

“’Ro?” said Duo, after a few minutes of quiet cuddling.

“What, babe?” responded Heero.

“Today, can you teach me how to drive? Since I have such a pretty new car, it would be nice to know how to drive it,” Duo commented.

“Sure thing, babe. How about after lunch?” he asked, stroking Duo's back.

“And a shower. You got us all sticky,” Duo complained playfully.

“Me? You didn’t help any?” asked Heero.

“No. It was all you. You completely lost control of yourself,” said Duo airily.

“Well, if it was all me, that means you didn’t get off yet, did you?” asked Heero, coyly. “I’ll have to fix that, won’t I?”

And he pushed Duo back, letting his tongue trail it’s way down Duo's stomach, through the brush of curly pubic hair and onto his still hard cock, lapping across the slit, tasting the pre-cum, swirling around the swollen head and finally running down the thick vein on the back to the base and back up to capture the head in his mouth. Heero alternated his sucking with a swirl of his tongue and sliding his mouth down the length until Duo's cock hit the back of his throat.

It only took him a few minutes of this delicious treatment to have Duo moaning and writhing, and when Heero started to caress his balls in their silken sac, massaging them gently with the fingers of one hand, he could feel Duo start to tighten for his climax. He added his other hand to the base of Duo's cock, stroking in counterpoint to his sucking and the slide of his mouth. Duo started to scream, his hands gripped Heero's hair and he arched his back, while Heero moved with him. Duo came hard and Heero held him close, letting the hot seed hit his open throat, sucking the orgasm out of his lover, riding the wave that Duo was creating until the very end, when Duo fell back to earth, drained and depleted.

Heero finally released him and moved to gather the quivering mass of post-orgasmic flesh that was Duo Maxwell into his arms. He kissed Duo deeply, gently caressing his now tame and docile tongue, then released his mouth.

“Now, we can take that shower,” said Heero, very much in charge once more.

~*~

Thanks for reading, hope your visit has been a good one. Please feel free to share your thoughts with me. I enjoy hearing from you.