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The Road to Kindness	By : shinigamiinochi Category: Gundam Wing/AC > Yaoi - Male/Male Views: 7934 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing/AC, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 4
- 5
- 6
The Road to Kindness

I
do not own �Onegai� by Angela Aki. The original song
was in Japanese, but I translated it to English. Hopefully this translation is
correct.

Chapter 5: Missing

//Give back my feelings

Give back my heart

Give back my affection

Give back my satisfaction

Come back to me

Give back my beauty

Give back my strength

I�ll come back to you

Just give today back to me

Give back the kisses

Give back the heat

Give back the dreams

I�ll come back to you

Just give tonight back to me

Give back my feelings

Give back my heart

Come back to me//

��

Three
days passed and Duo didn�t show up at school again, but only Khushrenada seemed
to care. After the first day, Treize pulled Heero into his office to
interrogate him, but the boy refused to disclose his best friend�s whereabouts.
He instead advised Treize to forget about Duo, he wasn�t worth his time.
Furious at Heero for turning his back on his friend, Treize contacted his
mother, but if she knew anything, she wasn�t talking, either.

�� Heero buried himself in his classes and homework like he
had never done before. He just let everything continue moving around him,
building his walls back up. He had wanted to just hole himself up in his room
and never speak to another person ever again. He had loved Duo so completely
and now he hated him just as much. It was so confusing� he had no idea that
love and hate could be so intertwined. That was what made it so sick, as much
as he wanted to beat the longhaired to a pulp for hurting him, he also still
loved him. He wanted to find someplace neutral, someplace that didn�t remind
him how deeply he had cared for Duo, but that was impossible, there wasn�t a
single place like that. Everywhere in this town, in his house, was a memory of
Duo.

�� Life at home was worse than at school. At school he had
distractions, at home, there were just his memories twisted by the knowledge of
what Duo had done. He lay in bed at night often thinking about that and
searching for any sort of clue that he could have picked up on, but his mind
just kept circling around the same facts. He was torn between wanting to fly
into a rage and destroy everything, and just curling into a ball on his bed and
ignoring the rest of the world. His mother tried to cheer him up, along with
Quatre and Trowa, but nothing worked. The one thing, the one person, he wanted
was the source of his misery. He felt like his soul, if there truly was such a
thing, had been ripped from him. He just felt so angry, but he didn�t know if
he was angry at himself or Duo. As the days went on, his defensive shell and
righteous anger turned to bitterness and hate and he withdrew further and
further within himself until he found a way to keep going with his life. He
kept away from people in school, afraid that he would kill someone if they came
near him. He wanted to find Duo at the same time that he never wanted to see
him ever again. He had used him and Heero had never seen it, too wrapped up in
his feelings of infatuation. He didn�t know who the bigger fool was.

��

�� Name, for the first time in her life, didn�t know what to
do. She didn�t think that there were any solutions to this problem. Heero was
reacting the same way now that he had when his father had died and she hated
that, she hated Duo for how he had hurt her child. But, at the same time, she
was still having problems believing that Duo had been capable of doing it. She
couldn�t reconcile him with the sort of sly deviant that Heero had painted. All
she knew was that Heero had to go on, somehow, and he just wasn�t. Oh, he said
that he was fine and that he was dealing, but she knew the truth. She wondered
if they should move away again, but knew that that wouldn�t solve the problem,
running away was just cowardice. She wanted to find Duo, but she wasn�t sure
that was the answer, either. She knew that if she did find him, she would ruin
him. Heero was being so distant, even with Quatre and Trowa. They were nothing
like Duo, surely Heero had to know that. Of course,
she had thought that Duo was a good person and look what had happened.

�� Quatre had no idea what was going on, but it had to stop. Whatever
had happened was big, of that he was sure. The last time Heero had been so
distant had been when his father had died. Quatre wanted to know what was wrong
with his friend, but he wasn�t sure how. He was hurting something awful and
Quatre wanted to make sure that his interference wouldn�t make things worse. He
just wanted his friend back. What really bothered him was that, if Heero was
having problems, Duo would have seen it and tried to help, yet Heero and his
mother hadn�t even mentioned his name in three days. He couldn�t see how Duo
could be involved, it just didn�t make any sense to
him. It was Friday and Heero was just on the couch watching TV, though it
didn�t appear as though he were really watching it since he hadn�t touched the
remote in two hours, even when the news came on, and Quatre knew how much he
hated the news. Then there was the issue of Duo�s absence. According to Name,
he had slept over the past two weekends and Quatre could tell that Duo was
eager, maybe even desperate, to spend as much time as he could at the Yuy�s. Not for the first time Quatre wondered about Duo�s
home and why the violet eyed boy always avoided the subject. Quatre and Trowa
shared a look. They had both had enough of the Yuy�s
somber silence. They were acting as though someone had died! And Heero was just
moping in bitter, repressed anger.

�� Quatre strode up to the TV and turned it off.

�� Hey!� Heero snapped, jumping to his feet as though he was
willing to fight for the television. Trowa stood in front of him, protecting
his small blonde lover, though he hoped that Heero didn�t have it in him to hit
his old friend, and crossed his arms, looking intimidating, but not as
intimidating as Heero was with his glowering eyes.

�� What is going on with you?� Trowa demanded. Heero glared
at him.

�� There�s nothing wrong with me,� he snapped.

�� Then where is Duo?� Quatre asked and watched in alarm as
Heero flinched.

�� Duo spends every weekend here, so where is he and why
won�t you talk about him?�

�� Heero�s hands curled into fists.

�� He�s not here
because he�s off scamming teenage boys out of their hard earned cash,� Heero
sneered. Trowa�s eyes narrowed in anger at Heero talking about the American
that way.

�� What is that supposed to mean?� Quatre asked,
his voice cold.

�� I mean that he�s been letting Zechs Merquise
fuck him just to stop him from bullying him!� Heero yelled, �And some goddamn
pocket change on the side! And if I hadn�t caught him in the act, he probably
would have robbed me blind, the little� smelly, gutter rat!� Heero�s voice rose
to an almost hysterical pitch.

�� Quatre slapped him.

�� How dare you?� he hissed, �How can you say those things
about your best friend?�

�� Because it�s the truth,� Heero said cruelly, �he�s nothing
more than a two-faced, petty whore!�

�� Shut up!� Trowa snapped.

�� You never told us Zechs was at your school.�

�� It�s none of your business,� Heero growled.

�� You saw him and Duo having sex?�

�� Yes!� Heero grounded out, shutting his eyes to ward off
the unpleasant memory.

�� And he told me that he hated �Merquise, but
he was letting him fuck him for �money and protection�!�

�� Quatre�s expression turned furious.

�� And you never tried to help him?!� Quatre screamed. Name
watched what was happening from the doorway, but didn�t intrude, watching her
son carefully. Heero looked at the blonde in astonishment as though that had
never occurred to him.

�� I-I� he doesn�t need my help� he doesn�t deserve my help!�
Heero�s voice became steadier as he reclaimed his anger.

�� No, you don�t deserve him!� Quatre countered, �He�s selling
his body to man he hates because he�s poor and doesn�t want to get harassed and
you, you call yourself his friend and don�t even try
to help him! He�s poor enough to do something so terrible, but still tries to
get through school and you, who has all the money in
the world, you don�t even try! He�s trying so hard just to survive and you�re
depending on your name for everything! And don�t you dare deny anything, Duo
would never whore himself for money unless he really needs it, besides, you
know how he looks! Didn�t it ever occur to you that he really, really needs
that money and protection? Maybe he needed your friendship just as badly!
Maybe, after all those bad things, he wanted a single friend! You�re the one
who�s used him, Heero!�

�� Heero struggled with something, but pushed it down, he
pushed it all away and ignored Quatre�s words.

�� He probably liked it,� he said, but the words sounded
hollow to his own ears. Quatre huffed and turned on his heel, storming out with
Trowa in tow.

�� Where are you going?� Heero demanded. Quatre looked back
at him with cold eyes.

�� I�m going to do what you�re too chicken shit to do, I�m going to go find him.�

�� It was a miserable night for the whores, the freezing air
making it impossible for them to flash their assets and they, instead, were
bundled in warm sweaters and jeans instead of cropped tops and shorts. Few fish
were biting, but Solo refused to give it up and go home. There were six of them
on the street corner and they knew each other well. There was Shi with long
blonde hair and red eyes who was bit too tall for the dominant circuit, but got
a great business with the subs. His mother, father, and little brother had died
in a car crash and he had been sent to live with his grandfather. After being
raped by the man, he had had enough and fled to the streets. Amaaya was the
only girl with them tonight, tall like Shi, but almost painfully beautiful with
her long black hair and deep blue eyes, her only flaw was a scar that ran down
her tan back. No one knew where she had come from, one day she had just shown
up and she had been there ever since. There were the twins, Alex and Aluxiel, who did a great business with those looking for
threesomes and those who were into incest. They were fraternal,
Alex had long black hair, one blue eye, another gold, no doubt a product of a
birth defect that Solo saw every now and then. Aluxiel
had the same defect, with one red eye and one green, his hair short and spiky,
died to match his eyes. They had been chased from their home when they had
fallen in love with each other. Next to Solo was Hi
and Yuki, neither ever said much and Hi�s deep red
hair and Yuki�s ebony locks contrasted each other in dark. Hi�s
wife had died a few years ago and he had resorted to whoring to feed his four
year old twins. Yuki was like Amaaya, no one knew what his story was, he was
just there (1).

It
always amused Shi how Solo was the youngest, but he
acted like the pack leader. It was unusual for prostitutes to stick together
like they did, but they lasted longer this way. None of their stories were new
or unique; they heard them from other pros hundreds of times. It was just the
way of the world; it was easier to sell your body to sex than any other labor.

�� Tonight had been slow and freezing and they were the only
ones left out in the cold, all the rest had gone to find shelter. But, they
weren�t out here to make money, they were waiting for someone. Solo stared down
the street, into the darkness, waiting for a familiar figure to emerge. One of
these nights, Solo knew that he wouldn�t see him, a constant fear, but at the
rate the kid was going, it was a sure thing.

�� There was something wrong with Duo, anyone could see that,
and for Solo, it was beyond disturbing. He had thought that there was nothing
left that could happen to his friend, but something bad had happened and now�
it was like being with a corpse. He wasn�t going to school, Solo knew that. Wes
was obviously taking advantage of that to run Duo ragged. The longhaired boy
just shuffled from job to job until late at night where he would meet Solo and
stare off into space until he eventually went home. Solo doubted that he was
sleeping, and if he was, it wasn�t restful because each time he saw him he
looked more and more weary. His eyes� his eyes looked so dead, hollow. Duo had
always had a tired, half dead look to him, but whatever had happened had
brought him all the way down. Solo couldn�t imagine what had happened to make
Duo give up school and any semblance of life in his pretty violet eyes, but he
didn�t like it one bit. Even the others noticed it and they weren�t around Duo
as much as Solo was. Solo knew that one night, Duo would just stop showing up
and he would be reading about him in the paper the next day, killed by a john
or himself. He didn�t want to think that of his friend, but there was a
hopeless look to him now that told Solo that suicide was definitely on his
mind. He just seemed so broken now.
That asshole, Wes, had better not have done anything to him! Of course, not
even Solo was brave enough to challenge Wes Maxwell, no one was. He had seen
him coming and going with that bull of a partner of his, Chris. He wasn�t sure
who was more dangerous, the large, violent brunette or the sociopath blonde.
Wes had been around longer than Solo had and, before meeting Duo, he had only
known him by reputation. In his old gang there had been rumors about a pimp and
drug runner named Wes that had a thing for little boys and was the most vicious
man in the whole state, if not the whole New England sector. To Solo�s knowledge, Duo was the only whore he had had living
with him, though he didn�t know for sure what that meant for Duo. It was no
wonder his friend was so worn down, with other pimps there were rules,
boundaries that their customers had to follow, Duo had none. Wes had more of a
�if the price is right� mentality and didn�t really care what they did to Duo,
as long as they paid for it. After seeing what Wes was doing to Duo, Solo was
glad that he didn�t have a pimp. It was hard getting jobs, but it seemed safer.
Then there were the �session� Duo had with both Wes and Chris. Whoring yourself
was bad enough but giving it up for free to two brutes was just disgusting.

�� It was well past midnight, but Solo
was finally able to breath in relief when Duo emerged from the shadows, walking
slowly because of his vision, his head down. Solo winced at his bedraggled
hair, bruises on his neck and wrists, and the sharp smell of semen on the boy.
Shi and Solo shared a look as Duo walked slowly over to them. Solo hoped that
it wasn�t drugs again. He knew that Wes had forced him to take them a few times
and that Duo had had a bad reaction to them every time. He hated seeing him
like that; he had been somewhere between a walking corpse and a beaten puppy.
He was thin and listless, like before, but solo didn�t think that it was drugs.

�� Duo was still favoring his side, something that Solo strated to notice a week ago, and from the careful way he
was walking, one of his customers had been rough with him. Duo stood next to
Solo, mumbling �hi� and stared off into space as he always did.

�� Alright, what�s wrong with you?� Solo finally asked. The
other six paid a much attention to the conversation without giving any evidence
that they were eavesdropping. Duo looked at Solo numbly.

�� There�s nothing wrong with me,� he said. Solo snorted.

�� That�s bullshit! I remember how hard you fought Wes to go
to school and now you�re just giving up on it?!�

�� That�s right,� Duo said stubbornly. Solo narrowed his eyes
at him.

�� And what about that new friend of yours?
Did you just give up on him, too?�

�� Solo instantly regretted his questions when some dark
emotion came into Duo�s eyes. It was even more disturbing watching Duo struggle
to put his shields back up, the darkness covered with dullness once more.

�� I didn�t give up on him,� Duo said in a chocked voice that
belied his expression, �I just fucked up, that�s all.�

�� How?� Yuki dared to ask. Solo
glared at him, worried that Duo would stop talking if the others interfered,
but Duo appeared to not notice that it was Yuki and not Solo
that had spoken. It was as though he needed
to talk.

�� I hurt him. He was the best thing that ever happened to me
and I BETRAYED him!� Duo screamed. Solo watched in amazement as the dam broke.
It was a physical thing, Duo seemed to crumble in on
himself as he cried. Solo wrapped his arms around him and hugged him tightly.
He gave the rest of them a stern look over Duo�s head not to approach. Duo was
like a wounded deer at the best of times, perpetually ready to run, now he was damaged and fragile.

�� It�s all my fault,� Duo struggled
with his speech, �he was so kind to
me and I fucked it all up! I�m such a bastard!
Why� Oh, god,� Duo dissolved into incoherent mumblings.

�� Ssh,� Solo soothed, �just tell
me what happened.�

�� There�s this guy at school, Zechs. Ever since middle
school he�s been after me, teasing me, bullying me� I got so sick of it! This
year, he said that he�d stop if I let him have sex with me. I said yes. I mean,
I�ve done worse for a lot less!� Duo�s speech was rambling, but Solo caught
every terrible word.

�� But then I met Heero� he was so nice to me� and I didn�t
deserve it! I couldn�t fuck Zechs anymore. He approached me with this blonde
with these cold brown eyes� They had a picture of me and Zechs. Zechs said he
was going to tell Heero if I didn�t do the both of them, so I did! But they
lied and Heero� Heero saw everything!�
Duo sobbed into Solo�s shirt.

�� Oh, Duo,� Solo murmured and stroked the shorter boy�s
hair.

�� He hates me,� Duo whispered, �Oh, god, Solo, he hates me
so much!�

�� Then fuck him!� Shi snarled, �And don�t give us any of
that �I don�t deserve him� crap! You�re a sweet kid and if he can�t see that, he doesn�t deserve you! It�s not your fault, it�s those two
shit heads who tricked you!�

�� Duo rubbed at his red eyes.

�� But, he was always out of my league. I knew that and I still tried to e friends
with him! I never should have let it happen! Instead, I pretended we were
equals and I hurt him! How is that fair? Trading his happiness for some stupid
illusion of normalcy� What I did was much worse than what Zechs and that�
British ass did!�

�� Duo started to shake. Alex put a hand on his shoulder.

�� Did he make you happy?� Alex asked. Duo nodded.

�� More than I�ve ever been in my entire life,� he murmured,
�when I was with him, I actually felt good!�

�� Alex smiled at him.

�� Then it was worth it.�

�� I can�t believe that,� Duo said, �you didn�t see his face.
He has so few friends and I betrayed him.�

�� But that�s no reason to quit school,� Hi protested. Duo
struggled out of Solo�s arms.

�� There was no point in going in the first place,� he said,
his tone flat, �I was just wasting time. Hell, my whole life has been one big
waste of time! There�s no way I could go back there and face him anyway. It�s
over,� he gave Solo a devastatingly fake smile, �sorry about losing it, but, I
feel better now,� he lied, �I�ve gotta go h-,� Duo
choked on the word �home�, because his mind supplied a different image than
Wes� apartment, �I�ve just got to go. Long day tomorrow,� he started to walk
away.

�� Duo, goddamn it, talk to me!� Solo snapped, but Duo never
looked back. He just kept walking until he realized that he couldn�t remember
the street name. He had been down this street a thousand times; it was where he
and Solo always met, but for some reason, he couldn�t remember the name of the
street, though he knew that he had known it before. He shook his head and kept
walking. It didn�t matter. He disappeared into the night.

�� Snow started to fall and Solo knew that it was time to go
home, for all of them. Anger surged in him. Anger at those
two boys for using his friend like that. Anger at Duo
for running away instead of trying to work things out with both Heero and
himself. Anger at his own self for being so helpless.

�� What do you want to do?� Shi asked,
his crimson eyes dark with suppressed fury. Solo smirked.

�� Tomorrow, we go hunting.�

�� And how are we going to do that?� Aluxiel
asked. �We have no idea what those two guys look like!�

�� Of course we do,� Amaaya said, �we know that one of them
is blonde, has brown eyes, and a British accent. Someone like that should be
fairly easy to find,� she said with a mean glint in her blue eyes. Shi grinned ferally and stretched his arms above his head (2).

�� Tomorrow�s shapin� up to be a
wonderful day!� he cheered.

�� Fuck Solo, why did he always have to pry?

�� The second that Heero had fled, Duo had shut down. It was
something that he had tried to do when Wes had raped him, but had failed. But
now, for some reason, it had worked. Or, it had until Solo had started to pry
and then the walls had come tumbling down. His
emotions had come flooding back like a tidal wave and he could no longer get
Heero out of his head, his beautiful blue eyes, the same eyes that he had
fallen in love with, and that terrible disgust and hate that filled them that
day.

�� Duo ran a hand against the brick wall next to him. Tears
started to build in his chest and he bit his lip hard enough to draw blood,
hoping to use the pain to keep his turbulent emotions at bay, but it was no
use. He rubbed at his eyes, trying to ignore the tears that he couldn�t stop
from falling.

//Something always brings me
back to you

It never takes too long

No matter what I say or do

I still feel you here

�til
the moment I�m gone//

�� Why wouldn�t those hurt blue eyes leave him alone? Why
couldn�t he stop thinking about Heero and why did he care? It didn�t matter, it
was over. It never would have worked out anyway, he was a whore, always would
be. Why had he even bothered being friends with Heero at all? Friends didn�t
lie or hide things from each other. How had he thought things would end any
differently? Because, though he was loathe to admit
it, Alex had hit the nail on the head. When he had been with Heero, he had
truly been happy. He was disgusting. Heero had thought that their friendship
would be a permanent thing, but Duo had always been waiting for the axe to drop
and that hadn�t been fair to Heero. He had been waiting for something like this
to happen, always on edge, always stressed because this sort of thing always happened to him, so why did it
hurt so much? The sickest part was that, he had been so happy with Heero, he
didn�t regret any of it. He felt ad about hurting him, but he didn�t want to
take a second of it back, how wrong was that!

�� He still yearned to be with his former best friend, even though he knew things were over. He didn�t know
what to do besides go on, even if he didn�t want to. He couldn�t go back to
school. He had meant everything that he had said to solo. There was no point in
going back there. He had lived his whole life in the gutter, he didn�t know
anything else. He could read all the texts in the world,
take every test, get the best grades, it wouldn�t change anything. And if he did
go back to school, all he would be was a slut that had hurt Heero Yuy, who deserved so much more than trash like him. What
would be the point? Normalcy was dead. He doubted that anyone would notice his
absence. Perhaps Heero would, but only because he was mad. The anger would fade
and so would any other feelings for him. To Heero, Duo would be dead and that
hurt, right down to the bone, because, as much as it hurt being hated, being
forgotten y the boy he loved was so much worse.

//You hold
me without touch

You keep me without chains

I never wanted anything so
much

than to drown in your love

And not feel your rain//

�� He kept coming back to him, he kept thinking about Heero,
even when he was letting some stranger have sex with him, though he hated having
that world intruding in on his memories of the best friend he had ever had. He
couldn�t understand it. He had been with hundreds of men, some of them very
good looking, so why now? Why Heero? What made him so special? He wished that
he had a normal life. Hell, even being a stupid little gay boy with a silly,
impossible crush seemed normal considering his current lifestyle. All he wanted
was to be with Heero. How could such a simple ting be so impossible? He wanted
to not hurt him� he wanted to make Heero feel how the blue-eyed boy made him
feel, but that was so laughable, even before Heero had found out. How could he
ever care about him now? He didn�t think he would ever get that image out of
his head, Heero�s disgust� and that slap, nothing had ever hurt so much.

//Set me free

Leave me be

I don�t want to fall another
moment into your gravity

Here I am and I stand so tall

Just the way I�m supposed to
be

But you�re on to me and all
over me//

�� He had never asked to be in love, how could he? What use
was love to him? Even when he was being raped, he could pull himself back
together, but he had tried so hard and
he didn�t think he would ever be that person again. He had thought that had
made him strong, being able to keep going despite the violence, but now he knew
that he was just weak because of his own emotions. It was his body betraying
him all over again. He couldn�t pull himself together. He tried grasping for
strength, but there was none there. How had one boy destroyed him so
completely? He didn�t want this! But, at the same time, he didn�t want to stop
loving Heero, he didn�t want to ever forget how he
made him feel. But it was so useless. Heero knew everything now and he would
never care for him again. And he was too much of a coward to just end it, always hoping for one last
glimpse of those blue eyes that would never come.

//You loved me �cause I�m fragile

When I thought that I was
strong

But you touch me for a little
while

And all my fragile strength
is gone//

�� How could he ever have thought that he was capable of
pulling through? Things were so hard now, just waking up, let alone the sex.
Just the thought of letting Wes have sex with him made him want to jump out of
his skin, but he felt so helpless and it was all Heero�s fault. He had felt so
safe with him. Truly safe! He remembered that first night when Heero had held
him. Nothing could have hurt him, or at least, that�s what he had thought then.
But now, any feeling of safety was gone, he felt as though the entire world had
disappeared from under his feet. It seemed so impossible, going on while
feeling that way, but he did, he always did, even if it was just one big lie.

//Set me free

Leave me be

I don�t want to fall another
moment into your gravity

Here I am and I stand so tall

Just the way I�m supposed to
be

But you�re on to me and all
over me

I live here on my knees as I
try to make you see

That you�re everything I
think I need here on the ground

But you�re neither friend nor
foe

Though I can�t seem to let
you go//

�� All this time, living Heero had been like trying to reach
the sky when his feet were rooted to the ground. Though he hated to admit it,
Heero had hurt him, but he didn�t hate him for it. Logically and emotionally,
he knew that he should, at the very least, have been mad about Heero hitting
him, but he didn�t feel any animosity towards him, he didn�t feel anything
except a sort of deep sadness that seemed to want to swallow him whole. It felt
so heavy, like a constricting ball of iron around his heart. He couldn�t call
himself Heero�s friend, but he didn�t hate him. IT was awful, but he did still
consider Heero his friend, even though Heero clearly didn�t feel the same way.
Something cold hit his cheek. He looked up into the black sky and saw tiny
snowflakes falling. It was freezing on his tear stained face and he felt so
tired� he should go back to the apartment, he thought, but he didn�t move as he
slumped against the brick wall.

//The one thing that I still
know

Is that you�re keeping me
down!

Somethin� always brings me back to you�.

It never takes too long//

�� More sobs built up in his chest and he yearned to release
them, but he dug his nails into his palms and slammed the back of his head into
the wall. He hated this� He didn�t want to feel anything. He just anted to be
nub. But, no matter how hard he tried to ignore it, his heart kept hurting.

�� It amused Solo to no end how Shi resembled a lion more than
a human. With his long golden hair and intense crimson eyes, not to mention his
impressive height, he certainly did look like a male lion. He was a bit
overprotective and definitely ferocious and with the knowledge that someone had
messed with Duo and hurt him badly, he seemed more feral. It hadn�t surprised
Solo one tit when it was Shi who had found the mysterious blonde boy Duo had
talked about. It was probably one of the least intelligent things the pack of
friends had ever done, but they ended up covertly following the boy that Shi
had found all day until became dark and the streets became empty. When he
disappeared into a grocery store, all six of them waited by the entrance. The
snow from last night had continued all day, though it was still only a thin
layer on the ground, and almost no one was outside.

�� Are you sure this is the right guy?� Solo asked. He was just
as pissed as shi was, but he wasn�t into doing violence for violence�s sake.

�� Shi nodded.

�� Blonde hair, brown eyes, English accent.
I�ve never seen him around before.�

�� Solo snorted.

�� Only �respectable people� go to this part of town,� Solo
spat out the words like a curse, �so for all you know, he could a been born here!�

�� Why don�t we just get Duo and ask him if this is our guy?�
Alex asked. Solo rolled his eyes.

�� Because I don�t want to get him involved and he�d tell us not to get involved.�

�� Even if he is our guy, is it a good idea for all of us to
be here? Is it even a good idea to be going after this guy at all?� Hi
questioned, �With what you�re planning, he�s going to know that Duo�s involved
and attack him for it!�

�� He deserves whatever we do to him for what he did to Duo!�
Solo snarled, �Besides, no one knows where Duo is except for us and we�re not telling!�

�� But what about Zechs?� Aluxiel asked, �He started the whole thing.�

�� As much as I hate to admit it, and as much as Zechs has hurt
Duo, he didn�t do anything to him that any of our johns haven�t done to us a
thousand times,� Shi said. Solo bit his lip, wanting to protest that Zechs
hadn�t known that Duo was a whore when he had propositioned him but he realized
that there was probably quite a bit of information missing from Duo�s story and
stayed silent.

�� Besides, according to Duo, Zechs has been doing him for
months, but the second this guy shows up, shit happens. Zechs may have been
involved, but I think that this guy was the brains of the outfit,� Shi grinned,
�and I know that this guy is the one who fucked with Duo.�

�� There�s no way you could possibly know that,� Hi said
dryly.

�� No? Ok, here are the facts: the dude we�ve been followin�s name is Alex Mueller, both he and Zechs are from
England and went to school together, then Zechs� parents got divorced and he
and his mom moved here, shortly after that, Heero moved to that same school.
Now, here�s a theory-,�

�� Zechs and Alex were friends, then Heero came along, pissed
Alex off somehow, so when Yuy moved here, Mueller
followed him,� Amaaya realized, her eyes wide.

�� Where he found out that Yuy was
friends with our Duo and decided to use him to attack Yuy,�
Solo finished, furious.

�� That certainly helps explain what connects all four of
them,� Hi mentioned.

�� How the hell do you know all this?!�
Solo demanded.

�� Because I�m amazing,� Shi said smugly.

�� Shi�,� Amaaya warned.

�� Public library,� he admitted. The other six stared at him.

�� What?� he asked.

�� Who let you into
a library?� Solo asked, shocked.

�� How did you know where to find a library?� Hi murmured.

�� Hey!� Shi snapped.

�� Actually,� Alex whispered to his brother, �that was pretty
clever, none of us thought of it.�

�� I still don�t get how you found all that stuff,� Aluxiel mentioned. Shi grinned.

�� Through the amazing, privacy-destroying,
publicly-accessible internet! Googling all
their asses was a cinch, though Heero was obviously the easiest. You wouldn�t
imagine all the sit I found on him!� Shi said cheerfully, but immediately
sobered, getting a deadly look in his eyes, �look, the point is this bastard
hurt Duo. You can fuck us and even eat us, but this guy went after Duo�s
friendship with Heero. He found the one point where Duo was the most vulnerable
and attacked him with it. He wanted to break him, just to hurt Heero, and he
did! This fucker is going down. We all had a choice about this life, Duo
didn�t. He�s better than us, he deserves better, not
this shit! This guy�s got to pay for what he did.�

�� Solo nodded.

�� I don�t care how rich he is or who he knows. He hurt my
best friend and he�s not going to get away with it. I�ll understand if the rest
of you back off, it�s your right. We all gotta protect ourselves, but I have to do this,� Solo said.

�� Alex ran a hand through his long, black hair.

�� We�re Duo�s friends, too, Solo.�

�� Are you sure?�

�� The other six nodded. Solo smiled at them gratefully. They
waited.

��

�� Alex came out of the grocery store with half a dozen bags
in one arm and a pack of cigarettes in his other hand. He didn�t notice the
seven people following behind him, jugging groceries in order to light a
cigarette. Shi, showing his colors as a true predator, stalked his prey
patiently, waiting for the perfect moment to strike while Solo
was more anxious, brimming with made energy. Feeling a lot like a pack of
wolves on a hunt, they stalked him for a few more blocks.

�� Alex moved in between the lights, hitting a large patch of
shadow and passed by a narrow alley. Shi quickly but subtly, his sound hidden
by the snow, moved forward, grabbing Alex by the back of his shirt and dragging
him into the alley and sending cigarettes and groceries to the snow covered
ground.

�� Alex never stood a chance as Shi slammed him into the wall
pinning him so high that Alex�s feet no longer touched the ground. Shi was good
two feet taller than Alex and much stronger than him, making it impossible for
him to escape and even if he could, he still had six other very angry people
stopping him. Alex stared into Shi�s eyes, terrified of the bloody fury he saw
there, echoed on the other six�s faces.

�� M-my wallet�s in my jacket pocket, please don�t hurt me,�
Alex begged.

�� Save your breath,� Shi spat, his grip tightening on his
shirt, �we�re not here for your money.�

�� Solo walked up to them, crushing the cigarettes under his
worn boot with a look of disgust.

�� Don�t you know that these things can kill you?� he sneered
at the frightened blonde.

�� What do you people want?� Alex demanded. He suddenly
noticed Amaaya and his eyes turned heated, traveling up her tans legs to her
very short skirt. The look quickly vanished as Shi slapped him across the face.

�� Mind your eyes,� he snarled. Alex glared at him.

�� Let me go!� he snapped, then froze as Shi suddenly
grinned.

�� And what are you going to do about it? Scream? Go ahead!�
he leaned in close and whispered in Alex�s ear, �How does it feel to be
completely helpless? To have your life, your happiness in the hands of some
asshole?� he hissed cruelly. Alex stared at him with wide eyes.

�� You can�t do this�� Alex protested as though he couldn�t
believe what was happening.

�� You hurt someone very special to me,� Solo said as he
approached, �you messed with the wrong person.�

�� Alex narrowed his eyes at him.

�� I have no idea what you�re talking about!�

�� Duo Maxwell!� Shi hissed, �We
know what you did to him!�

�� Alex examined Solo and gave him a superior, dirty look.

�� Don�t worry about it,� he sneered, �no humans involved. He�ll
get over it, all you people do, if you can even call yourselves that. You act
like I committed a crime! I was just saving Yuy some
time. Someone like him should never be involved with trash like you! You can�t
hurt something that has no soul!� Alex suddenly cried out as Shi slammed his
head into the wall.

�� No soul?!� Solo snarled, �The
only person here without a soul is you!� his green eyes were like emerald fire
as he glared at the trapped boy, �But, I�ll show you just how much of a soul
we�ve got. We�re better than you, so I�ll give you a chance. Leave Duo alone
and we�ll leave you alone, don�t, and the next thing you see will be the inside
of a hospital.�

�� Alex laughed.

�� You wouldn�t dare!�

�� Shi narrowed his red eyes at him and released him. Alex
fell to his knees and glared at the taller boy, but as he rose to his feet, he
didn�t dare do anything. He snorted in annoyance and started to shove past the
longhaired blonde, but Shi grabbed him by his neck and slammed his knee into
his gut. Alex yelped in pain and fell back to his knees. He stared up Shi with
wide, disbelieving eyes.

�� Kids today, no respect,� Shi said with a grin, �not too
bright, either. We never bluff,� he whispered. He turned to Solo.

�� Want to do the honors?�

�� Solo cracked his knuckles.

�� Gladly.�

�� Quatre and Trowa returned the Yuy
home with their tails between their legs. It was early morning and Heero had
already gone to school. Twelve hours� twelve hours they had spent searching for
Duo and they had nothing to show for it. When a visual search had failed, they
had started asking around, but that had turned out to be just as futile. No one
knew where Duo lived or where he went to, where he worked,
there was no information of any kind. Once school was over, it was like he just
disappeared. It was like trying to track a ghost. Furthermore, it seemed
impossible that a boy that they had befriended had so few tracks. A sinister
voice in the back of Quatre�s mind told him that it was possible that Heero was
right, that Duo�s whole intent was to use him. It wouldn�t be the first time
someone had appeared out of the abyss with no records to try to hurt the Yuy family, but Quatre knew that that wasn�t the truth. He
had met Duo, he had looked into his eyes and spoken with him and he knew that
Duo was different. The only one who had betrayed anyone was Heero, but even
Quatre couldn�t bring himself to blame him.

�� Name was waiting for them as they came into the door, her
eyes hopeful.

�� Any luck?�

�� Trowa shook his head.

�� There�s nothing. No one�s seen him since he ran away and
no one knows where he lives.�

�� Name�s hopeful expression fell. ��

�� I see,� she murmured. She looked at Quatre with thoughtful
black eyes, �While you were gone, I decided to do some digging on my own.��

�� Quatre stared at her in shock.

�� What do you mean?�

�� I looked through his files,� she said, �his address,
telephone number, his father�s name, every little bit of information I could
find on him.�

�� Quatre smiled brightly.

�� Then you know where to find him!�

�� No,� Name said, efficiently cutting off any hope the
blonde had, �it�s all fake. His address doesn�t exist,
everything in his records is a lie. Duo Maxwell doesn�t exist.�

�� Yes he does!� Quatre cried, shocking her, �Maybe not to
the rest of the world, but to us, to Heero, he exists! And just because you
can�t find anything on him doesn�t mean that he was trying to hurt you and
Heero!�

�� Name smiled sadly.

�� I know that. I don�t believe that Duo was trying to hurt
us anymore than Heero does, not really, anyway,� she said in a soft voice, �it
was easy to believe that at first, but just the thought of Duo selling himself
to that boy� it makes me too sick inside. I keep seeing his sad eyes and, as
mad as I am about how much pain Heero�s in, I can�t believe the worst about
Duo.�

�� What can we do, then?� Quatre asked, feeling truly
helpless for the first time in his life. Name sighed and ran a hand through her
short black hair.

�� We keep looking until we find him,� she said with
conviction, �whether he intended to get money out of Heero or not, Duo�s still
a kid, and he�s in trouble. When we do find
him, then I�ll get the truth. Until then, I�m not assuming anything.�

�� And what if it turns out that the worst is true?� Trowa
asked.

�� I don�t know,� Name admitted, �I�ve been in the most
stressful business negotiations and crises that you could imagine, but this is
much worse and I� I just don�t know what to do.

��

�� Quatre and Trowa spent the rest of the day worrying about
Duo and Heero under the guise of watching TV, but neither was fooling the
other. Name had left that morning to go oversee a new factory that was opening
in Massachusetts,
so when Heero came home at two, it was just the three of them. Against Quatre�s
better judgment, he approached Heero as the dark haired boy was hanging his
snow covered jacket on a kitchen chair to dry.

�� We couldn�t find Duo,� Quatre told him.

�� I don�t care,� Heero said dully, but Quatre saw the sparks
in his eyes at his ex-best friend�s name; he wasn�t sure if that was a good
sign or not, though.

�� Your mother seemed to care,� Trowa mentioned. Heero
remained silent.

�� Do you really think that Duo betrayed you?� Quatre asked.

�� What else is there to think?� Heero said bitterly, his
heart burning with each mention of Duo�s name.

�� Your mother doesn�t think that way anymore-,�

�� Well, then she�s an idiot!� Heero exploded, �and so are
all of you!�

�� Are you angry for a real reason or just because it hurts
too much to feel anything else?� Quatre asked heatedly, getting in Heero�s
face.

�� Shut up!� Heero demanded.

�� It�s just like your dad; instead of dealing with your
sadness, you just got pissed off and took it out on everything else.�

�� My father has nothing to do with Duo Maxwell!� Heero
roared, forcing Quatre to take a step back and Trowa tensed, ready to protect
him, �so don�t you even dare mention them
in the same sentence!� Heero pushed past them and stormed up the steps to his
room. Quatre gave Trowa a worried look.

��

�� The snow of Sunday night continued on through Monday and
Tuesday until it was replaced on Wednesday night by a terrible thunderstorm.
The rain was so heavy that it made driving impossible and ponds overflowed. The
entire town lost power as the wind and lightning knocked down power lines and
the chilly air turned the snowy ground into treacherous ice.

�� The power outage hit every house equally and when Heero
awoke at 3:12 am, it was pitch black in his room, save for the red glow of his
battery powered clock. He stared at it for a few minutes, dumbly, before it
came to him what was going on. He closed his eyes and struggled to go back to
sleep but in between thinking about what Quatre had said yesterday and the
thunder, sleep refused to com. He sighed and rolled out of bed. He placed a
hand on the wall and started to navigate out of the bedroom. Lightning flashed,
filling the hallway with bright light only long enough to cast long shadows,
then the shadows grew to darkness once more. He suddenly realized that Duo�s
power was out, too, and wondered if he was awake and listening to the thunder,
too. He quickly dismissed the thought, but the tight-stomach feeling the
thought gave him didn�t go away. As he moved down the long hallway, his knee
hit a table and he swore, but kept going. He fell into a habit he had had as a
child: counting the seconds between thunder and lightning to see if it was
getting closer or moving away.

�� Thunder� one, two, three, four, five�
lightening. Heero blinked in the darkness, the storm was really close.

�� 3:12 am, Duo awoke in blackness. His eyes searched blindly
in the dark. His heart started to race as he realized that he couldn�t see the
window, either. He never slept with the lights on only because Wes would never
allow it, though if Duo had his way, there would always be a light on. The
darkness always made him feel anxious and the anxiety made his nightmares
worse; more horrific, more real. However, even when it was dark, he could
always see the city lights through the window, but tonight there was nothing,
absolutely nothing. He could feel the soft sheets under his naked body, could
feel Wes� hard muscled form pressed against his back and his arm wrapped around
his waist, he could feel the dried semen on his thighs, or was it blood? He
couldn�t remember. He could feel Wes� hot breath on his neck, the cold of the
room, and hear his heavy breathing, but there was something wrong with his
vision, something wrong with his eyes. His heart pounded and his head hurt with
the thought of it. All these years as his vision got worse and worse, he had
lived with the constant fear that he would one day wake up blind, and now he
had. His gut clenched painfully and he curled in on himself.

�� Please� no more� I can�t take anymore�� he thought with an
inaudible whimper, �first Heero, now this?! Can�t I keep just one little thing?
Please� please��

�� Bile rose in his throat at the thought of trying to live
his life without his sight. It had been hard enough before his vision problems
and it was hard enough now with his glasses and the blurriness, complete
blindness seemed impossible. He wouldn�t even know how to cope, let alone
survive.

�� Duo flinched almost completely off the bed as lightning
flashed and filled the small room with white light. He felt tears prick his
vision as relief overwhelmed him, but he pushed it down. He couldn�t believe
how stupid he was! As usual, he had assumed the worst, because that was what he
usually got. He shivered a little as he listened to the violent rain hitting
the glass. Of course the power was out, he told himself, because the storm had
been going on all day. It was for that reason that Wes had let him stay home.
Of course, that had only meant that he was trading one hell for a worse one as
Wes had been more than happy with a day filled with �bedroom exercises�. Now he
was sore, exhausted, and his ass felt like it was on fire, so he wasn�t sure
tromping around in the storm would have been any worse.

�� The room was cold and dry, a bad thing for his cough and
Wes hated the sound, so he had suffered the last few hours trying to hold it in
or get slapped. Now, however, Wes was asleep and as he lay on his side, he
couldn�t help the fit. The silent room echoed with the wet, harsh sound He felt
something wet coming out of his mouth and he wiped away the blood hastily.

�� The coughing subsided after a long few minutes, leaving him
drained, but wide awake. He knew from experience that he wouldn�t be falling
asleep again and rolled out from under Wes� grip with a sigh that turned to a
wince as his insides told him just how sore they were. Wes, always being a deep
sleeper, only groaned in frustration at the absence of Duo�s soft, warm body,
but kept sleeping.

�� Duo felt his way to the closet and pulled on a t-shirt,
feeling the wall with one hand until he was out of the bedroom. He made his way
to the kitchen and rooted around in the drawers until his fingers met with the
rod shaped flashlight. He jumped at the sound of thunder and froze, counting the
seconds until the lightning flashed. It was an old, childish game he and other
street children had played during storms like this to keep their minds off of
how scary it was out in the open with no shelter and how easy it would be to be
struck by lightning or drown like the rats that they were.

�� One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten�
flash. It was close. He clicked the button on the flashlight, but nothing
happened. He swore. Wes wasn�t big on being prepared unless it was a way to get
money. He knew that he could search all night and he wouldn�t find a single
usable battery, but he knew for a fact that there were some candles and a
lighter under the bathroom sink in a cupboard. He didn�t want to think about
the reason why they had candles and no batteries or the other things that Wes
stored in that cupboard. With another heavy sigh, he felt for the wall again
and started to walk towards the bathroom.

�� A clap of thunder� one, two, three, four, five, six, seven�
lightning filled the long hallway. The storm was moving away now. The brief
lightning allowed Heero to see the hall closet where his mother had stored the
emergency supplies. He felt around for the doorknob and opened the closet.

�� Holy fuck!� he cried as he felt something hard whack him
on the head and he stumbled, falling on his butt. What the hell had hit him?!
His heart raced, waiting for another attack to come. Thunder boomed� one, two,
three, four, five, six, seven, seven and a half� lightning filled the hallway
and Heero stared dumbly at the mop sitting on the floor in front of him. He
stood up and put the mop back into the closet, rolling his eyes at his own
stupidity.

�� Is everything ok?� he heard his mother call as he blindly
searched for a flashlight. She had always been an incredibly light sleeper, o
it was no surprise his yell had woken her up.

�� Fine! I�m just getting a
flashlight!� he called back. He remembered what Trowa had said about her not
believing him, but he didn�t feel any anger at her at the moment. He should
have been at her not taking his side in this, but he couldn�t help but think
about what Quatre had said about anger. He snorted. It didn�t matter� he knew
that he was right, he had to be.

�� Duo almost tripped on a towel on the floor as he entered
the bathroom. He sighed and felt around on the ground for it, hanging it as
best he could on the rack without actually seeing it. It was hard to imagine
how a man who had to have every scheme planned out so perfectly in advance
could be such a slob. The tiles were freezing under his bare feet and he walked
carefully, feeling for any patches of water that he might fall from. There was
a terribly loud clap of thunder and Duo found himself counting again. One, two,
three, four, five� as lightning flashed, Duo cried out as he saw a pair of eyes
staring back at him and he stumbled back, hitting the glass door of the shower.
He fell to his knees, ready to fight or run if he had to when the lightning
stopped and the bathroom became perfectly dark again. His heart lurched and
adrenaline surged through him. He listened carefully, but he couldn�t hear the
intruder. He jumped at the sound of thunder and counted,
his heart racing with each second. One, two, three, four� light filled the room
again and Duo sagged against the door as the only thing he could see was his
own haggard, deathly pale reflection in the mirror, his wide, violet eyes
looking back at himself. He felt hysterical laughter build up in his chest, but
choked it down, knowing what that laughter would turn to if he let it start.
There was another clap of thunder and he counted to three before he saw the
lightning again. It was so close, soon it would be
right on top of them.

�� After counting to fifteen, Heero knew that the storm was
almost over, he just hoped that they would have power
by morning. It was easy getting back to his room with the flashlight. Lightning
flashed again and he looked out of his window. Rain was still pouring down and
the snowy ground looked like crystal. The window was fogging over with how cold
it was. Despite himself, he wondered where Duo was and if he was someplace warm
like he was.

�� Duo held his hand over his mouth as he coughed and felt blood
splatter onto his palm. Agony flared through his body and he crumpled to the
ground, his muscles shaking in some sort of fit. He curled into a ball,
wrapping his arms around his aching stomach. Everything hurt, inside and out.
He didn�t want to think, he just wanted to sleep until everything stopped. He
didn�t want to go back to bed with Wes, he didn�t want the man to touch him
ever again! He could smell the man�s scent on his own body, like he was marked.
His skin felt like it had been stretched thin and he just wanted to tear it all
up and watch himself bleed. It was like an itch or compulsion. He wanted to be
somewhere warm, where this place and his life didn�t exist. He squeezed his
eyes shut as he felt tears starting to break through his defenses. �

�� Is Heero still mad?� he wondered feverishly. Lightning
flashed, but he hadn�t heard the thunder.

�� Can I go home now?�

�� That night Duo left the apartment with Wes still sleeping
none the wiser. He went out into the storm and walked, Toby, Patches, Cotton, Cassy, and Angel were taking shelter in his duffle bag and
Sammy and Shiva were wrapped up in his coat. As he walked away from the
apartment, he didn�t look back, he didn�t dare. He had no idea where he was
going and at the moment, he didn�t care. He just needed to get away, he needed
to see Heero.

��

�� By Thursday, both snow and rain had stopped and the sun had
finally come out. The good weather lasted the entire weekend. True to her word,
Name, Quatre, and Trowa never stopped looking for Duo, but they never found
him. Heero went to school as always, holing himself in his room during the
weekends playing video games and surfing his computer, pretending that his two
friends and mother weren�t out looking for Duo.

�� Duo spent all Thursday walking, keeping an eye out for Wes
and his business partners, which was a lot harder than he had thought, but he
had managed to keep out of sight. He felt like he had gone back in time,
ducking from police and pimps, stealing food and money, looking for someplace
warm to hide in. It wasn�t until Friday morning that he found the perfect
place.

�� He had been trying to stay away from the school and any
place where Heero might be, but it was like some sort of gravity, drawing him
closer and closer, needing to see him. Finally, he gave up trying to resist,
though he still stayed away from the school. Elm Street was a ghost street.
Years ago, the town had tried to build apartments there, but it hadn�t worked
out and the apartments had been abandoned. There had been talk of demolishing
them in favor of a mall, but the town had yet to make any plans. The complex
was out of the way, yet overlooked most of the town. Trees had stopped being
cleared and grew around the building, making it hard for anyone to see the
balconies. All of the fire escape ladders were rusted and impossible to extend,
but Duo was more than resourceful and managed to scale the building up to one
of the balconies; hidden by under kept ivy and branches. It wouldn�t be very
dry when it rained, but it kept him out of sight and allowed him to watch the
people below. It made him feel like a little kid again, hiding in �secret
fortresses� and watching the world go by as he lived alone, only, he had his
cats. He spent most of his time sitting on the hard stone of the balcony,
watching the world through the metal bars. He would leave only during the
morning, to steal and pickpocket, and late at night to shop for some food and
water.

�� Wes had yet to give up on him and Duo was surprised that no
one had thought to think of his little hideout. It made him want to laugh with
glee and triumph at how easily he had thwarted him. He found himself aching to
go back to the apartment, terrified of punishment and trying to find means to
survive, but at the same time, he reveled in his freedom. He was still sick,
but he had gone a whole twenty four hours without servicing anyone and that
wanted to make him scream with joy.

�� It sounded like a fairytale, him living high up on an ivory
tower away from those that wanted to hurt him with his little furry family,
stealing from the middle class to feed themselves, but he knew that it wasn�t.
He knew that this was only a vacation, he couldn�t
live up here forever. Sooner or later, Wes and his thugs would find him and
then it would be all over. It hardly seemed worth it, the price that this
little respite was going to cost him in the end, but then he had discovered
something worth while. Stealing from people wasn�t always a sure thing either.
If he got arrested, he couldn�t imagine what the Yuy
family would do to him, he was rather surprised that the goon squad hadn�t
arrived already, or an assassin. He snorted. More likely, Name thought trash
like him wasn�t worth the effort. Stealing was hard just to find targets and
was far too risky.

�� Friday, Duo spotted
him. He had been keeping an eye on the school that was so very near the
building, and he had finally spotted him. His heart clenched, seeming to be
stuck between freezing completely and racing. Heero� it had been over two weeks
since he had left school forever and the pain of it still hurt just as much as
the second it had happened. It had been so long since he had seen him, it felt
like years, yet when he spotted him, he realized that he still loved him just
as much, no, more, and the vision made him want to cry. The Japanese boy was
wearing a leather jacket and jeans, though Duo was too far away to tell if he
was frowning or smiling as he stepped out of his Jaguar, Duo could still see
his lovely blue eyes. Then, he did cry.

�� It was Monday and Duo was waiting for Heero to come to
school once more. He had seen him coming and going Friday and; there must have
been a soccer game or something, Saturday as well. Each time he was overwhelmed
with the urge to see him or yell, just to see those beautiful blue eyes to meet
his again, but he was too scared. His little Sammy and Shiva were curled up on
his lap and his hands stroked over their silken fur. He hadn�t gone out since
Friday, he didn�t dare once he realized that he could see Heero and didn�t want
to miss him. He had enough food and water for the cats, but he was hungry, but
didn�t care. He could last a few more days without going out. He would go when
Heero was still at school, when he knew that he wouldn�t be able to see him.
Patches was gone hunting, how she had gotten off the balcony, he didn�t know,
but she had been disappearing since Friday. She had been sick for weeks and he
hadn�t figured out why until now when he had noticed her gaining weight. His
little baby was pregnant� he shook his head. It was hard enough feeding the
adult cats, but kittens? He knew that Patches would make a good mother and
would take care of the babies, but he still worried. It was getting colder and
colder and he knew from experience that only one or two street kittens lived
from a litter. She would reappear sometime in the night, as she always did; she
always managed to find him.

�� The air was starting to get cold again and Duo was sure
that by the end of the week, it would be snowing. He didn�t know what he was going
to do if it did. There was little to no shelter here and it was insanely lucky
that it hadn�t rained or snowed yet and if it did, they would get buried. He
would have to move, but right now, this balcony was all he had.

�� Duo watched Heero leave the school with a heavy heart. He
hated this part of the day, it meant that he wouldn�t
be able to see him until the next day. He wrapped his arms around his knees and
looked through the bars, down to the overgrown courtyard below, but instead of
green grass and the stone fountain caked with moss, he could only see furious
gray eyes.

��

�� Heero was seriously considering putting a poster on the
ceiling over his bed, one with words, lots and lots of words, with all the
night he had spent lately, looking up there, thinking and unable to sleep, it
would go a long way to keeping him sane. His mind couldn�t stop, no matter how
tired he was. He kept thinking about, even though he tried not to. He told
himself that Duo didn�t deserve his thoughts, but he invaded them anyway. He
was right to be mad at Duo. His supposed best friend had his something huge
from him. He obviously hadn�t trusted him. And what other reason could a boy
like Duo befriended him except for the money? So, why did his anger feel so
hollow? He kept remembering that the first thing he had felt that day when he
had seen Zechs and Duo having sex was not anger at being betrayed or even
suspicion of Duo�s previous actions, but anger and jealousy at Zechs for
touching Duo�s bare body, and how beautiful
he had looked. The self righteous anger had only come after. Heero looked
at his hand. He had hit him. That was one of the things that he regretted. Even
if he had been furious, he shouldn�t have struck him. And that look on Duo�s
face� it haunted him. He had looked so shocked.

�� Heero found himself looking back over his and Duo�s
friendship for any clue that he had been using him, but to his surprise, he
couldn�t find any. Duo had struggled against him at first,
it had been Heero, not Duo, that had insisted on the friendship. How had Duo
known that he was going to take a liking to him or had he created the plan
afterwards? Or maybe, Duo really had just been sick of Zechs� bullying and
Heero�s money hadn�t interested Duo at all. No, he couldn�t believe that, it made
no sense. Duo was a bad person and that was why that had happened! He refused
to believe that someone as beautiful and kind as Duo would have done something
so terrible! He clenched at his pillow. He refused to believe that something
bad could have happened to the Duo he had known. He hated being in this room
sometimes, remembering how quietly Duo had slept and how much fun they had had,
how hard he had fallen for him. He remembered the night he had stayed over, the
very first night, and how he had told Heero that he didn�t have many friends.
Bad person or not, he must have been lonely. Heero remembered all those times
away from Quatre and Trowa before meeting Duo and how hard it had been making
the three friends he did have. He remembered how, right after his father�s
death, he had felt so alone because his mother had been so broken up about it
and there was no one else that could understand. He couldn�t bear to think of
how Duo had felt, wrapped in his arms, it hurt too much. He rolled onto his
side, facing away from the door. How was it possible to both hate and love a
person this much He hated Duo for making him so vulnerable that it hurt this
much, but he still wanted him. He hated him so much and he didn�t care about
what Quatre had said, he was wrong. The room felt far too big without Duo and
his air mattress in the middle of the room. He snorted. He had only spent two
weekends there, but he had taken to calling it �Duo�s space� and �Duo�s
mattress�. It was sick, really, considering how Duo Maxwell would never be
stepping a foot into this house again. He wondered, not for the first time,
where Duo was. They had never talked about his home. There had been no offhand
remarks; Heero didn�t even know what street he lived on or what kind of house
he lived in. He wondered if he had gone straight home or if he had run away, if
he was even in town anymore. He wondered if Duo�s father was worried about him.
Duo certainly hadn�t told the man about what he had been doing with Zechs,
Heero thought bitterly. He wasn�t worried about him, he told himself, he didn�t
care where Duo had gone, he was just curious.

�� Heero tensed as he heard the door open and his mother�s
familiar footsteps nearing the bed. He laid completely still, remembering when
he was a child, he would do the same thing when she had checked up on him, not
wanting her to know that he was still awake. He felt her sit at the edge of the
bed and knew that she knew that he was awake, but stayed still. He heard her
sigh.

�� You know, sometimes it�s easier to believe that the people
that we love are bad than to believe that they are the ones in trouble (3),
because the more you love someone, the easier anger is, but sorrow and pain can
tear you to pieces. Sometimes, we need to believe that they deserve the bad things
instead of believing that they�re being hurt,� she said. Heero tightened his
grip on the pillow.

�� I don�t love him,� Heero murmured, but the words almost
tore his heart in two, �you�re wrong.�

�� Name just stroked his hair and his vision swam with tears.
He didn�t care what anyone had to say. They were all wrong.

��

The
sun was setting. The one half of the sky was lit up in a violet and gold fire
as the sun set below the clouds. The other half of the sky was like Heero�s
eyes; an incredible blue that was so deep, it looked like you could fall into
the sky if you could only let go of the ground beneath your feet. The sunset
was the last thing that Duo saw as Wes dragged him back to the apartment. He
screamed and screamed, but people only stopped and stared, they didn�t come to
his aid, they never did and never would, he had learned that a long time ago.
No one in the world could help him, but he still screamed for it, the story of
his life. He kept that close to his heart, even as Wes violently threw him into
the apartment; the sight of the setting sun lighting up the sky and the thought
of Heero�s beautiful blue eyes.

�� Duo made a small sound as Wes threw him against the wall
and kicked him in the stomach. Duo curled up, ready for more blows to come, but
Wes wrapped a hand around his throat and pinned him against the wall.

�� What the fuck is the matter with you?!� Wes snarled, �Ever
since you�ve been hanging out with that boy, things have been different, you�ve
changed!�

�� Heero has nothing to do with this!� Duo lied. Wes growled
and backhanded him hard enough to make Duo�s eyes water.

�� Don�t you fucking talk back to me!
After all you�ve done, don�t you fucking dare!� Wes� grip tightened around his
neck threateningly.

�� After all that I�ve done for you and you
run away?! I told you what would happen, hundreds of times!�

�� Duo�s eyes widened.

�� No� please, just let me go, I�ll disappear, you have other
ones, I know you do! So please, just let me go!� Duo cried.

�� Wes stroked Duo�s reddening cheek, but his other hand
stayed at his throat.

�� And why would I want to do that?� he asked softly, �Why
would I let the best thing in my life slip through my fingers?� Wes� expression
hardened, �And if I have to tie you to the goddamn bed to keep you here, then
so be it!�

��

�� Stop struggling!� Wes snarled as he tried to pin Duo to
the bed with one hand and lock his ankles in restraints with the other. Duo
knew that there was his way he was going to escape once the thick manacles were
on him and tried to kick Wes, but the larger man managed to twist his body to
keep him pinned and grabbed one of his ankles, closing the metal cuff around
his thin ankle. Duo had never been in Wes� bedroom, for which he was grateful
now. There were cabinets against the wall and Duo had no desire to see what was
in them. There was no window, leaving the room pitch black without the lamp on.
Wes� bed was bigger than his own and the frame was metal instead of wood and
Duo could see why. There were four manacles attached to the bed with the chains
rung through heavy rings and locks that could be adjusted by length. The bed
itself was pretty comfortable, but without weapons and clothes, he had never
felt more vulnerable. Wes finished securing his ankles and tugged the chains so
Duo�s legs were spread wide, locking the chains in place.

�� Please don�t do this,� Duo begged. �Can�t I keep just one
shred of my dignity?�

�� Wes ignored him, reaching down on the ground and bringing up
a restraint for his arms, a black sleeve with leather buckles and chain. Duo
panicked and lashed out, managing a lucky punch to Wes chest, but the blonde
just grunted angrily and grabbed Duo�s head, squeezing the back of his skull in
a spot that sent hot agony through his brain and left him dazed. Wes slipped
the sleeve over his arms and tied it tight, locking the chain to one of the
rings so he couldn�t sit up.

�� Duo watched with broken, terrified eyes as Wes settled
between his legs and lifted his hips a little.

�� Wes, don�t��

�� Do you think that I like doing this?� Wes growled,
spreading Duo�s ass cheeks with his hands, �You�ve forced my hand.�

�� Duo cried out as Wes thrust into him dry and raw. Tears
prickled his vision, but he denied them, feeling blood trickle out of him with
each brutal thrust. Duo could feel his anger with each violent push. His body
rocked against the bed and his spread, bent legs ached for some sort of balance
despite his bindings, his toes desperately digging into the sheets. His arms
were completely useless, everything from his upper arms to his fingertips
caught in the cloth.

�� Suddenly, Wes� cock hit him deep inside and Duo cried out
in a confused mix of pain and pleasure. Wes grabbed at his hips, grunting
happily as Duo�s inner muscles clamped down on him. He tried to hold off his
orgasm, wanting to enjoy the boy loner, but the silken heat squeezing his kick
felt too good and he came inside of him.

�� Duo bit off a choked cry as he felt thick seed fill him.
Wes groaned low in his throat as he emptied himself fully and slid out. Duo
focused completely on controlling his breathing, which threatened to spiral out
of control as he listened to Wes close the door behind him and go to the
bathroom. Tears came again and this time he let them fall. His thigh muscles
were already cramping and no matter how much he struggled, he couldn�t move an
inch. He winced at the sickening feeling of cum pooling out of him, accompanied
by the deep, burning sting of his torn insides. He always slept on his side,
but he was so weary and found himself drifting off.

�� For once Duo had no dreams, though he didn�t know if it was
because he had been so tired or if his mind just couldn�t take anymore. He
awoke in complete darkness and for a moment, he forgot where he was and pulled
against his bonds, but his memories soon returned to him and hysteria started
to build. He thrashed uselessly, trying to free himself. Out, out, out, he had
to get out! He choked on his sobs. He couldn�t live like this, chained up,
alone in the dark, not seeing or hearing, just waiting for someone to come along
and fuck him� Why couldn�t Wes just kill him and make all this go away Duo
laughed hysterically. If only Heero could see him now! He�s have a great laugh;
finally justice had been served, the whore chained up and fucked to death, safe
away from anyone he could do damage to! Duo�s laughter quickly dissolved into
violet sobs again. Heero� his Heero� if he had never found about him and Zechs,
would he be with him right now, laughing, walking under the sun, or would that
only have delayed the inevitable? Duo suddenly realized how much freedom Wes
had given him before. He had never truly appreciated it, thinking it was such a
terrible thing, but compared to where he was now, that had been wonderful! What
had he done? Why had he run away? Why had he agreed to have sex with Zechs? He
could have had the perfect life, but he had fucked it all up! Wes was right, he
deserved this.

��

�Why
don�t you just kill him?� a familiar voice carried from the kitchen. Duo
listened hard. He knew that voice, though he hadn�t heard it in a year. It
belonged to a raven haired man named Stevens whose son he had Science and Music
with. Duo had always wondered how Ross Stevens would react if he knew that his
father was fucking his classmate during his �overtime�. Now he was obviously back
for more.

�� There�s no reason to kill him,� Wes snapped defensively,
�I have everything under control.�

�� I admit that he�s the best fuck I�ve had and it isn�t
exactly easy finding that quality tail, but he tried to run away. What if he
goes to the cops?� Stevens pointed out.

�� He didn�t go to the cops,� Duo heard Chris say, �He just
hid like a little lost kitty cat,� Chris laughed.

�� Is this a solution, though? People are bound to notice a
bunch of men coming and going and this place ain�t
exactly sound proof,� Stevens said.

�� As if anyone is going to investigate,� Duo thought with
disdain. Let them come and kill him, it was better than the alternative.

�� This place could be burning to the ground and no one would
notice,� Wes said with a snort, �and don�t worry about him running away, I�ll
take care of it.�

�� Duo shuddered at the tone in Wes� voice. He was sure that
he would take care of him, alright, he could only imagine�

�� You should just break him, easier to control,� Stevens
said with a sort of sadistic glee that made Duo feel sick.

�� Nah, once they�re broken it�s like fucking a doll and
where�s the fun in that? Besides, this one doesn�t break, even after all this
time,� Chris chuckled.

�� Not broken, were these men idiots? Couldn�t they see how
easily he had broken? He didn�t have a single ounce of fight left in him. The
three men continued to talk, but he zoned them out and continued to stare out
into the dark room uselessly. He felt like he was going insane. He couldn�t
move, he felt worn down into nothing. All he could do
was lie and wait for the next torture.

�� Suddenly, the door swung open and Duo hissed in pain,
turning his head quickly as the light from the hall burned his eyes and made
them water. The door was closed, but kept open enough to let some light
through. When Duo dared to look, he saw Chris, Stevens, and Wes.

�� Hello, Duo,� Stevens said as he approached the bed. He had
been one of the only men to use his first name and he couldn�t figure out why,
but he hated it no matter the reason, �It�s been awhile, hasn�t it? Did you
miss me?� Stevens jeered.

�� Duo stared at him incredulously. He had catered to a lot of
married men, but this was different. Prostitution was one thing, but this was
torture, pure and simple. Duo didn�t think that all of his johns would have
been able to stomach it, but Stevens didn�t seem the least bit bothered, which
made Duo wonder what the man was like with his family.

�� Aren�t you going to say �hi�?� Stevens asked, his eyes roaming over Duo�s exposed body. Duo blushed, but
glared at him.

�� Leave me along,� he said half-heartedly. Stevens grinned,
climbing onto the bed and straddling Duo�s hips. He reached out to Duo�s face
and the longhaired boy flinched away, but Stevens grabbed his chin and stroked
his cheek.

�� So pretty,� he murmured, �every time I see you, you�re
more and more beautiful. And now you�re all tied up with nowhere to go,� he
licked his lips, �what shall I do with you first?�

�� I thought you wanted to kill him?� Chris teased. Stevens
smirked.

�� I�m a weak man,� he admitted as he unlocked the chain to
Duo�s right leg, throwing it over his shoulder and wrapping his arm around
Duo�s thin thigh, rubbing their crotches together. Duo�s
blush deepened and he turned his head away. He felt the man cover his entrance
with lube and closed his eyes. He didn�t want this� Stevens swatted his lightly
on the cheek, making Duo open his eyes in surprise.

�� Pay attention,� he ordered, his eyes holding Duo�s.
Stevens was annoyingly gentle as he penetrated him. Stevens watched,
enraptured, as Duo�s eyes clouded over in the pleasure he had forced on him,
but the violets were troubled, like a trapped animal. The boy was hot and tight
as his body struggled against him and he happily sunk into him over and over,
watching his expression closely as Duo tried not to show any indication that it
made him feel good.

�� Shit�,� Stevens groaned, �so good��

�� Duo winced as the man�s thrusts became faster, rubbing
against his torn insides more violently.

�� The black haired man came with a hoarse cry, his thick cum
filling Duo�s body Stevens let go of Duo�s leg, now bruised because of his
grip, and climbed off the bed, cleaning himself off with a bath towel that Wes
handed him. Duo squeezed his eyes shut, trying to ignore the wet, sticky mess
under him. It stung and his muscles hurt. His chest felt like someone was
sitting on it, but he didn�t dare cough while he was lying on his back. Choking
on his own blood wasn�t something that he looked forward to.

�� Are you going to keep him chained up for the rest of his
life?� Stevens asked as he zipped up his pants. Duo blinked, his eyes confused
in the mixture of the shadows and light from the hall. He had lost information
again. One minute Stevens had held his leg and pressed against him, the next he
had been thrusting into him, like a song missing a note, out of place, but not
entirely important.

�� I gave him a chance, several
of them,� Wes said gruffly.

�� Duo had always known the truth, that if he had ever gotten
himself in this situation, it would be forever. He was going to die on this
bed. He had known all that, but hearing Wes say it was terrible. Heero would
have been strong, he would have fought and screamed
until his throat was bloody. He wouldn�t have laid there and taken it. He
wouldn�t have given up so easily. But, as much as the thought of Heero in this
situation made him violently ill, he wasn�t
Heero. He wasn�t strong or confident or beautiful. He had seen this
situation coming down the road and he knew where that path led. Escape was hopeless.
Even if he fought and fought and, through some miracle, won, they would be back
over and over again until there was nothing left to take. What was the point in
fighting if you could never win? For the glory of it?
It was just him and Wes and his �father� sure didn�t care about glory. He would
never see the sky again, he could never escape Wes, he knew that now, so why
did Wes� words make him so angry?

�� I never asked you to do this to me!� Duo heard himself
snarl. He froze, Wes staring at him as though he had grown a tail. When was the
last time he had spoken to Wes like that? He couldn�t remember, but it felt
good, though terrifying. Wes quickly snapped out of his stupor.

�� You ran away from me!� he snapped back. Duo was overcome
with the realization of how ridiculous the situation was. He had only stood up
to Wes a couple of times and here he was, arguing about something that didn�t
really matter while he was naked and tied down. Stevens seemed to notice the
mirth in it and laughed softly, but Wes didn�t find it funny at all.

�� I just didn�t want your disgusting hands on me anymore!�
Duo yelled, squirming against his bonds. Wes growled low in his throat like a
bear. What he had said was the truth, but maybe if he pissed Wes off enough, he
would beat him to death.

�� Looks like your little pet needs to be retrained,� Chris
said as he came back into the room and Duo realized that he had never noticed
him leave. Chris handed Wes a syringe filled with a white solution and Duo
panicked.

�� No, you can�t do that!� he struggled vainly.

�� What the hell is wrong with you� Wes hissed as he
approached the bed, �you never used to act like this. I thought you were a good
little boy, but as usual, I was wrong,� he placed a hand on his chest, pinning
him down.

�� I�m sorry!� Duo begged, �I�m so sorry, please don�t do
this!�

�� Sorry, sorry, sorry,� Wes mocked cruelly, �you always say
that when you�re about to be punished, yet you continue to misbehave!�

�� Duo, his leg chain still unlocked, lashed out, catching the
blonde on the side of the face. Wes snarled, grabbed Duo�s foot, and wrenched
his head forward by his hair. He plunged the needle into the back of his neck,
into his vertebrae.

�� Duo screamed as the poison mingled with his blood and
invaded his brain.

��

��

�� KL6, it felt like being shot up with hot shards of razor
blades. Wes had forced him to take everything from coke to crystal meth, but KL6 was something else entirely. It was Wes� baby
and he and Chris were the only ones who knew how to make it, giving them a
monopoly of the business, though Duo had no idea who would want to use the rape
and torture drug for self-use. KL6 attacked the brain, altering chemicals and
making the taker susceptible to demands. In short, it was a mind control drug
and those that took it were helpless to do what people told them. Wes said it
made them more cooperative, but Duo knew that it created slaves. It was like
being trapped in your own body, you could still hear and see and feel what was
happening, but you had no control over your body. The poison, since it attacked
the rain, was also highly addictive and the withdrawal was sometimes deadly and
the drug itself was painful until the last second it was worked out of your
system. The only consolation was the human survival instinct, something so
deeply written in every person that it couldn�t be over looked, so it was
impossible to order someone to do anything that would put them in danger, but
to Duo, it didn�t make him feel better.

�� Duo screamed in utter agony as the drug overwhelmed his
mind and took control in a matter of minutes.

�� Stop screaming,� Wes said. It was like a switch had been
thrown, Duo stopped screaming, though trapped in his mind, he was still screaming. It was like being
shoved off a tall cliff, he fell deep into his own mind, cut off from his
physical body. Duo wanted to flinch, blink, something as Wes shone a bright
light in his eyes, checking his pupils, but he was lost. Duo could hear his
heart beating unpleasantly fast, another side affect of the drug, and could
feel the terrible pain even worse than before, but the outer stimulus of Wes�
hands on his legs and the soft sheets under his back seemed distant. He
experimentally tried to scream, but he couldn�t so much as open his mouth. Wes
unlocked the chains and pulled Duo to his knees. Duo just stared at them,
dumbly, his mind and spirit gone from his eyes.

�� Man, that shit is great!� Stevens exclaimed, �You can make
him do anything?�

�� Almost anything,� Chris said proudly.

�� How much does it cost?� Stevens asked excitedly.

�� It isn�t Tylenol,� Wes reprimanded sharply and the black
haired man wilted under his glare, �it has to be carefully administered and
monitored or you�ll end up giving him an aneurism.�

�� It�s fine, unless you care about
the person you�re giving it to,� Chris joked, �it�s great for our other�
business. It�s better than heroin for getting whores hooked and doing what
they�re supposed to do. It doesn�t come cheap, of course.�

�� What�s in it?� Stevens asked.

�� That�s a trade secret,� Chris grinned, giving Wes a look
of deep admiration, though Wes didn�t seem to notice.

�� How long does it take to wear off?� Stevens continued with
his interrogation.

�� 13 hours,� Wes said, �withdrawal starts three hours after
that.�

�� Plenty of time to play,� Chris chuckled, sitting on the
bed. Duo�s flat eyes stared out into space as Chris sat, his long, muscular
legs slightly bent as his formidable body couldn�t fit on the bed as well as
Duo�s smaller one.

�� The human mind is really just a complex computer,� Chris
explained, �once you figure out how to work it, you
can get it to do just about anything. Now, Duo, look at me.�

�� Duo�s eyes met the larger man.

�� Come here.�

�� The longhaired boy moved on his knees, his arms still
bound, over to Chris. Chris petted Duo�s hair like a dog.

�� Good boy, now unzip my pants.�

�� Duo�s legs were still chained, though the chains were
completely slack, but he still tried with all of his will power to move. A
single twitch would be a godsend, but there was nothing. He �watched� in alarm
as his body moved towards Chris. This couldn�t be happening again! He wanted
his body back, at the very least he could scream and fight, not this robotic
acceptance. This was worse than rape, worse than being forced to enjoy it. It
was the worst betrayal. It was even worse than being chained up. How could he
possibly escape his own mind?

�� Duo thrashed against the barriers of his mind as his hand
unzipped Chris� pants.

�� Suck on my cock,� Chris ordered. Without a second�s
hesitation or flash of anger in Duo�s eyes, he freed the man�s large erection
and wrapped his mouth around the head, slowly engulfing the whole thing. Even
under the influence of the drug, he struggled to get it down his throat, but he
managed. Chris groaned loudly as he was suddenly surrounded by heat and tangled
his hand in Duo�s hair, the other squeezing Duo�s ass, but let the boy suck him
at his leisure.

�� That�s it, use your tongue,� Chris instructed, groaning as
Duo�s nimble tongue swirled around him and sucked him deeply. It was strange
watching him do it. Usually he would have his eyes
closed as though he couldn�t bear to keep them open, but now they were wide and
empty.

�� He�s like the perfect sex doll,� Stevens mused. Wes stayed
silent, watching intently. Chris gripped tighter at Duo�s hair as the
longhaired boy lapped at his head. The boy was incredible, even drugged out of
his mind. His mouth was moist and tight, not as tight as his ass would be, but
tight enough. He felt too good, though. Duo always was one of the few that
could make him cum just from a blow job, usually he had better self control.

�� Stop,� he commanded and watched in satisfaction as he slid
his mouth off of him.

�� Ride me,� Chris said, sitting back on his hands, his
glistening cock jutting out from his body proudly. Stevens and Wes watched as
Duo crawled onto the muscular man and took him completely, his pert ass sliding
all the way down to the brunette�s balls, making the
man scream in pleasure.

�� Duo cried out mentally as he was penetrated by the huge
cock. He was still wet and stretched from Stevens, but Chris always made it
hurt. There was nothing to distract him from feeling the pain and he fought
uselessly to get off of him. It was terrible, he couldn�t even cry. He could
even felt the blood and tearing more vividly. He wanted to scream as Chris
started to thrust into his damaged body, the pain searing. Everything hurt, it had hurt for so long. He couldn�t remember what it
had felt like to be whole. He missed Name. She had been the only adult to ever
treat him kindly and she didn�t have to He remembered the house, all white wood
and soft rugs, the painting of lilacs in the hall, the big, comfy red couch in
the living room and the large dark table in the kitchen where they had had so
many wonderful meals. It had been the only place in the world where he had been
safe. When he was there, nothing and no one could touch him. These men could
never hurt him there� Chris came inside of him with a loud cry and Duo�s side
and insides throbbed unpleasantly. Wes joined his friend on the bed, but before
he could go inside of him, Duo sunk deeper and deeper into his memories until
he was completely gone from reality.

��

��

�� Three more days had come and gone and Heero was now
positive that Duo would never be returning to school again. He hadn�t just run
away, he had disappeared off the face of the Earth. He knew that his mother,
Quatre, and Trowa had never stopped looking; he also knew that no one was going
to find him. He had the distinct feeling that if Duo didn�t want to be found,
he wouldn�t, but the longer that he was missing, the more Heero yearned for
some answers. He would never forgive him, but he still wanted to know why, he
thought that Duo owed him that much. He missed him. He hated to admit it, but he
truly did miss his Duo. Not the Duo that he had seen fucking Zechs, but the Duo
that had melted in his arms that night, the Duo that had gone to the movies
with him, the Duo that he had fallen in love with. He wished that he could just
forget about that other Duo and pretend that everything was ok, but reality
kept encroaching on that illusion.

�� Heero couldn�t go back to the way he was before meeting
Duo. He still arrived early to school and, while he felt constantly angry, it
was different. He didn�t feel like bothering people, he just wanted to be left
alone. The door to the classroom opened and Heero�s head shot up. His heart
nearly stopped and he looked eagerly towards the door, but his excitement fell
as an unfamiliar student walked through. He couldn�t understand it, why did
things have to be this way? Why was it that every time that door opened, he
could imagine Duo walking through, even when he knew that it wasn�t Duo. Why
did he have to get so excited at the thought of Duo coming back when all he wanted
to do was scream at him for what he had done? Why did things have to be so
confusing?

�� Heero still ate lunch alone, that hadn�t changed since he
was a kid. As Wufei came into the lunch room, he glowered at Heero. What
relationship they had had become strained because of Duo�s disappearance.
Wufei, rightly, believed that Heero had had something to do with it, and also
thought that Heero knew where Duo was, and that Heero refused to tell him out
of some stupid grudge. The first week, the Chinese boy had done nothing but
pester him about it, but now all he did was glare at him. Treize hadn�t stopped
interrogating him about it, but Heero wasn�t telling anyone anything. None of
them had known Duo like he had known him. No one deserved to know the truth
because no one had dared to know him like he had. When he returned to class, he
didn�t pay attention to his teacher, his eyes focused on the door, waiting for
it to open.

�� Duo floated for what seemed like an endless amount of time.
He tried to stay deep in his fantasy world of safety and kindness, but his
reality kept bringing him back up. He felt so heavy and cloudy. Was it possible
for your mind to feel dirty? He knew that his mind felt sick, floating from
memories of his times with Heero to the sex and abuse of the real world. His
body burned both from the rapes and the drugs that Wes continually shot him up
with. �He would let it wear off for about
an hour, enough for Duo to gain control of his body and have all
of the memories flood back to him in a disjointed, nightmarish jumble,
but too worn out to move, then inject him again. He didn�t recognize most of
the men that Wes brought with him and he didn�t know what was worse, the
exploration of strangers, or Wes and Chris, who knew his body inside and out
and knew how to make him scream inside of his cage. He had no idea what day it
was or even if it was night or morning. For him, time had died. All he knew was
the space between each cock, each rough hand. There was so much blood and
semen, now. Sometimes when he came out of his dreams, the sheets would be
clean, but more often than not, he could feel the mess under his skin. He felt
worn down into nothing, like he was dying but his body was still whole. Without
any control of his body, he couldn�t tell if he was sleeping or just
daydreaming. He just� floated. He knew that his body was sick in the tightness
of his chest and not even Wes� orders could keep him from coughing. Surely the
man knew now that he wasn�t going to last for much longer, but Duo knew that he
would never take him to a hospital, he would let him die here. His insides felt
hot and tight where they hadn�t before and his body felt like it was tearing
itself apart. There was something wrong with his shoulder, where Wes had bitten
him so long ago, he couldn�t move it and it felt heavy, like there was a
softball where his muscle should have been. His side was worse than ever,
though he couldn�t tell if it was actually swollen or if it just felt that way.

�� Wes had left to go to the bathroom and, for a brief while
at least, no one else was in the apartment. The drugs were starting to wear off
again and Duo thought that it was night. His head felt like something was
squeezing it and he would have thrown up if there was anything in his stomach.
It was withdrawal, plain and simple. He had gone through it before, but now it
was much worse, he had been taking it for too long. How long that was; days,
weeks, months, years, he had no idea. His wrists were cuffed together with the
thick manacles, as were his feet, but chains were no longer attached to them.
What was the point of chains if you couldn�t run away? Duo had no desire to run
anymore. He was too tired, he just wanted to sleep, truly sleep, not float. He rolled onto his unwounded side and curled up
into a ball. He heard the bedroom door open and Wes slipped into bed with him.
He slept with him constantly now and Duo wondered why he didn�t just sleep in
the other bed, if he was truly paranoid about him running away again or if it
was something else. He remembered how Wes had confessed that Duo was the most
important thing in his life and this strange, hot, sick little emotion boiled
in his chest. Tears started to pour down his cheeks. He had lived with Wes for
so long, the man was all that he knew, all that he could really, truly remember
about his past. He was his whole world. He had clothed him, fed him, made it possible for him to go to school. How had he ever
thought that he could escape him? Love� was that what that feeling was? Wes was
the only father that he had ever known, he couldn�t
escape from him anymore than he could escape from himself. His punishments
hurt, just like any parent�s, but sometimes he made him feel good, too, even if
Duo didn�t like it when he did that. Wes wrapped a tight arm around Duo�s waist
and snuggled against him, making Duo�s worn body tighten in anxiety.

�� Please, let me go, Wes,� Duo rasped, his throat so raw
from coughing that he could barely talk, �I won�t run away anymore, you know
that. I can�t take this anymore, please!�

�� Wes rubbed his nose against the back of Duo�s thin neck.

�� I love you like a son. I know I don�t say that and I know
that we fight a lot, but I do love you. I thought that after all this time, you
would understand that and start listening to me,� Wes said mournfully. Duo felt
his chest tighten further. Was Wes telling the truth? Duo could never figure
out why he was living with Wes instead of a brothel or why he let him go about
on his own and go to school. Could it really be true that Wes loved him? He had
told Duo to consider him his father, but he had never put much thought into
that. His body remembered the pain that Wes had put him in, but he had deserved
that once he had run away and started lying to him. The truth was, Wes had
taken care of him and though he had been rough, sometimes he had been nice to
him, too. He had no one else in his life, no one that had taken care of him and
professed to love him. Wes sighed.

�� Why do you do this to me?� he asked in exasperation, �I�m
still mad at you, but I forgive you. I believe that you�ve learned your lesson,
but I�m still going to keep you on a short leash.�

�� Thank you, thank you,� Duo sobbed as Wes unbuckled his
manacles. He was pathetically weak after so long of being drugged and in bed,
but he managed to throw his arms around Wes shoulders and hug him.

�� Thank you��

�� Wes gave Duo the next two days off to regain his strength
and left the apartment, leaving Duo in blessed solitude. Duo shakily walked the
entire apartment, trying to get some strength back in his legs. With each step,
blood tracked down his legs and sometimes he worried that he might fall, but
little by little, he got steadier. His stomach felt hollow, but the withdrawal
made him feel nauseous, so he didn�t bother with food. His muscles ached as his
body yearned for more of the drug even as his mind was relieved to be back to
the way that things had been. He felt as though the sweat and blood and semen
had caked into his skin and stumbled into the bathroom. As he flipped on the
light, he cried out, the brightness of the light sent sharp pain through his
eyes. He had spent who knew how long in almost complete darkness and it took
him a good five minutes to get his eyes to stop watering. Wes had given him
permission to take a shower and Duo got one ready, digging into one of the
cabinets to find a clean towel and shampoo. He caught his reflection in a
mirror and froze.

�� He looked terrible. He was thinner and paler than he had
ever been before, but his face was flushed with fever and his eyes were flat
and dead. He could see his ribs and his joints were visible through his pallid
skin. His shoulder and side were indeed badly swollen and he groaned as a sharp
pain stabbed in his side, but it hurt even more when he tried to feel it. The
pus leaking out of the wound on his shoulder was starting to turn green. He was
covered in bruises and cuts and burns, but nothing seemed to be healing.
Various spots on his body were caked with semen and blood, but the worst was
his thighs, especially since he was still bleeding down there. His hair was a
mess and he certainly wasn�t relishing trying to comb it out, but he was almost
salivating at the thought of finally being clean.

�� The hot water was indeed heavenly, though it made him hiss
in pain at first, but then the semen and blood disappeared down the drain and
he no longer cared about the sting. It hurt to raise his hands. His wrists and
ankles were black with bruises and contusions from tugging at the bonds, but he
managed to wash his hair, twice considering the mess, and scrubbed at his body
with a soft washcloth. It took a long time to feel clean, but once he was done,
he staid in the shower, letting the hot water wash
over him. He blinked down at the drain as he saw blood, not pink, but bright
red, swirling there. It wasn�t possible! He reached around and lightly touched
his torn entrance, then looked at his blood stained fingers in alarm. Why was
he still bleeding? He crouched down on his knees and swiped at his ass with the
washcloth, then rinsed the blood off, repeating it four times, but each times
the cloth was stained with deep red blood. He threw the washcloth down with a
frustrated cry. Why?! Why wouldn�t it stop?!

�� Ultimately, it took Duo almost two hours to get the
bleeding to stop. He told himself not to worry about it, that he bled all the
time, but he still did worry, because it had never taken this long� he shook
off his anxiety for the moment and settled on fixing his hair and putting on
some clothes. In the end, it hurt too much to put his hair in a braid, so he
used a ponytail instead. All he could find for clothes was a tight, long
sleeved white shirt, his denim jacket, and a pair of low riding jeans that
laced up the legs and crotch. Wes still wasn�t back by the time that Duo felt
alive again and he managed to revel in that freedom for awhile. He was� free.
There were chains tying him down, no drugs draining him� his bare feet relished
the feeling of the rough run under them instead of the soft sheets, his eyes
traveling the ceiling with its bright lights. He started to laugh. He wasn�t
going to die! Wes had forgiven him� he could see the sky again!

�� But, as great as freedom was, he couldn�t stand being in
the apartment, which still smelled like sex and cigarette smoke from the
constant stream of men coming and going. He felt ghost hands on his hips and a
raspy voice in his ear and shuddered, but shoved the memories away. That didn�t
matter anymore, it was behind him as long as he
behaved. It didn�t matter anyway, he couldn�t escape Wes and he had no reason
to disobey him anymore. He laced up his boots and walked out, closing the door
behind him and stuffing the spare key in his pocket. He whistled and watched
the shadows, laughing as he was suddenly swarmed by furry missiles intent on
licking his hand and molding themselves to his legs. It appeared that in the
time that he was captive, the other cats had disappeared. It looked like he would
never get to name them, but his five had waited for him. He crouched low enough
to scoop Shiva and Sammy into his arms and pet as much of the others as he
could reach.

�� I missed you guys,� he murmured, his voice thick with
emotion. Toby butted his head against Duo�s leg to show how worried he had been
while Shiva and Sammy curled up in his lap. Even pregnant Patches had come out
to greet him. They were all alive and healthy, how they had all found their way
back here and why he didn�t know, but right now, he didn�t really care.

�� After catering to his furry family, Duo decided to visit
his human one. On his way, he learned the date and discovered, to his shock,
that it had been two weeks since Wes had dragged him back to the apartment. He
didn�t know if he was so shocked because it had been so long or so short. The
sky was not the beautiful powdered blue that he had hoped and the sun was
nowhere in sight as it started to rain. Duo walked through the streets past
people running for cover and others huddling under umbrellas. The rain poured
down on him until his hair stuck to him, but he didn�t mind it. Solo was on the
same street as always and Duo�s heart soared at the sight of him and Shi. The
two of them were dressed for their prospective jobs and the weather, huddling
against each other under a store�s overhang. Solo was dressed in ripped jeans,
a mesh top, and stylish, but clearly secondhand jacket that had fake fur lining
the hood, his blond hair pulled back with his ever present headband. Shi was,
as always, not so� decadent with cameo pants, a leather jacket, black shirt,
worn combat boots, and his father�s dog tags proudly hanging from a chain
around his neck.

�� Duo!� Shi squealed, lifting Duo
clear off the ground with a shocked cry as he swept him up into his arms and
twirled him around.

�� Shi!� Duo choked, but once his
feet met ground again, he returned the borderline sociopath�s
hug.

�� Where the fuck have you been?!� Solo screamed even as he
hugged Duo tightly, making him wince, though neither of them noticed. As Solo
let him go, Duo�s first instinct was to lie and say something like that he had
come down with some horrible disease, but these were his friends, they knew
everything about him, so he told the truth.

�� I ran away from the apartment,� Duo said.

�� Way to go, man!� Solo cheered, clapping Duo on the
shoulder. �It�s about time you got out from under that pedophile�s thumb!�

�� But he found me,� Duo continued, his eyes becoming dull
with the memory and both Shi and Solo�s eyes widened at both the admission and
the sight of Duo�s pretty eyes becoming hollow. Solo felt sick as he realized
that the vividness of his eyes had just been a mask and this was what his eyes
were really like now.

�� Duo��

�� He brought me back, chained me to the bed, gave me drugs
and brought guys to the apartment to do whatever they wanted to me.�

�� Shi looked furious, but Solo just
looked like he was going to throw up.

�� That bastard!� Shi swore, �How
could he do that?!�

�� He forgave me, after everything that I did to him, he
forgave me. He let me go!�

�� What the fuck!� Solo exploded, �He kidnapped and raped
you! He drugged you and let who knows how many men rape you and you go around
defending him to us?!�

�� He said that he loves me,� Duo murmured, but the words
sounded strange to him.

�� So that gives him the right to violate you?� Shi asked, his eyes like fire stones. �Why are you defending
this guy? Two weeks ago, Wes Maxwell could have dropped dead and you would have
spat on his corpse, now that he�s done this horrible thing to you, you accept
this half assed confession from him?�

�� Duo blinked up at him.

�� I� I don�t� I just� he didn�t have to let me go��

�� No, he didn�t,� Shi said, �but he didn�t have to rape you
in the first place either! Don�t give me that bullshit!�

�� Duo bit his lip. Shi hugged him tightly.

�� Look, I�ve seen this before. This man�s abusing you, so
you grab at the slightest bit of affection because he�s in the position of
power and you�re the victim, so you think that if there�s a reason, maybe even
some feelings behind the abuse, that makes it ok, but
it doesn�t!�

�� I know that!� Duo whispered harshly, �But he�s still all I
have! And I believe him when he says that he loves me. What if I love him? Does
that make me sick, too?�

�� Solo laid his head over Duo�s.

�� No, honey, it makes you love starved.�

�� Duo wiped at his eyes harshly.

�� Look, he just let me go this morning,
I can�t handle talking about it right now.�

�� Shi nodded and the two blondes let him go.

�� Where�s the rest of you guys
anyway?� Duo asked, looking about for some sign of the other five. Shi shared a
look with Solo, then looked Duo in the eye.

�� Duo, Yuki�s dead.�

�� Duo�s eyes widened.

�� What?! No, that can�t be� when
did this happen?!� he demanded.

�� Last week,� Solo said, �they found him dumped in an alley.
It was a couple of his johns, they got too rough with him, but it wasn�t an
accident, do you get that? They cut his hair��

�� Duo paled. Yuki, quiet, dependable Yuki, and he had missed
the last week of his life� he covered his eyes with his hand.

�� Amaaya, Alex, and Aluxiel left
the state. Amaaya was really broken up about it and the three of them decided
to cut town.�

�� Duo stared at him.

�� All three of them just left? What were they planning to
do?!�

�� Something about Boston,�
Shi shrugged, �something the lot of us are too chicken
shit to do.�

�� But what about Hi?�

�� Solo smiled softly.

�� His kids are scared of storms, so he�s home looking after
them.�

�� Duo smiled at the thought of the strong redhead cuddling
with little versions of him. Solo grinned at him.

�� Man, if I�d have a dad like that� let me tell ya, Hi�d never let his kids do
this shit for a living! He�d sooner sell his whole soul, which is pretty much
what he�s doing�� Solo and Duo�s eyes turned dark at the thought. Shi rubbed at
his dog tags, his eyes looking far off. Those intense eyes turned to Duo once
more.

�� I�ve lost too many loved ones,� he said angrily, �I�m not
going to lose you, too,� with that, Shi walked off into the storm, not caring
how soaked he got. Solo and Duo watched him go, looking confused.

�� Come on,� Solo said, �the fish ain�t
bitin� on a night like this, let�s get something to
eat.�

�� Another two weeks had passed and still no Duo. Worry, and
just a tiny bit of guilt had turned Heero�s insides into a war zone. He
couldn�t stop dreaming about him and he somehow knew that something bad had
happened and for some reason that he couldn�t really understand, he blamed
himself. He should have dragged Duo off with him instead of running away like
some coward. Yuys were not cowards,
they solved their own goddamn problems! Questions stung Heero like swarming
wasps. Nothing made sense anymore, his own mind didn�t
make sense. When had his anger turned so completely into worry? Duo had fucked
Zechs and he had probably tried to get money out of him, so why the nightmares?
Why did he keep seeing Duo lying in a pool of blood and why did he feel so
guilty about it?

�� He was dreaming again, tossing and turning in bed, but it
wasn�t really a dream, it was a memory, hundreds of memories.

�� But I don�t want to
use your hot water.�

��

If
Duo had indeed wanted to use his money and Zechs had ruined his plans, then why
had Duo been so stubborn about accepting it when Heero had tried to buy him
things? He had been worried about using up his hot water like it was gold. It
didn�t make sense.

�� �That door locks.�

�� What kind of boy didn�t lock a bathroom door� that was just
sick.

�� �Really?! I�ve never played before!�

�� What kind of boy had never played video games before?

�� I�ve never had any
friends before. No one�s ever cared enough about me to want to be my friend.
So, I just want to say thank you. Thank you for asking me to stay over, you
didn�t have to. I don�t even know why you want to be friends with me.�

�� Heero started to cry in his sleep. He didn�t know
about the rest of their relationship, but at that moment, he knew with a
hundred percent clarity that Duo had been telling the truth. Duo was so
beautiful� how could he have never had friends and why had he thanked him with
tears in his eyes?

�� It�s nothing so
small, Heero. You just don�t understand��

�� Duo�

�� �I will get what I want.�

�� Heero�s brow furrowed in sleep. He remembered that fight and how Zechs had sworn
revenge. He remembered that day in the bushes. Zechs had beaten Duo so hard he
had been coughing up blood. Duo had been in so much pain� Was he so
self-righteous that he could hate Duo just for trying to make the pain stop?
That note in his locker� Zechs had obviously set Duo up, especially with his
vow for revenge.

�� This isn�t the first
time Zechs has gone after me and nothing happened them and nothing will happen
now.�

�� Zechs had had sex with Duo on school property and no one
had done anything about it, Heero hadn�t done anything about it. He had seen
Zechs on a regular basis and he had never attacked him for it, all because he
was pissed at Duo, his best friend. What the fuck was wrong with him?!

�� Please, you�re my
best friend.�

�� Heero shot awake, almost screaming. He wiped furiously
at his tears. Duo�s last words rang through his heart like a bitter sword. He
had called him his best friend, and he, in return, had
slapped him, called him disgusting. He had begged him� had he betrayed him or were Quatre, Trowa, and his mother right and he had only
been hoping that Duo had betrayed him? He tore the sheets off of his body and
walked downstairs.

��

Name
was still awake, watching the news. After looking for Duo hadn�t panned out,
they had started to look at morgues, newspapers, and broadcasts, though they
had hated to do it, but since Duo had basically disappeared, it was plausible
that he was dead. Name clutched at her shirt at the very painful thought. She
looked up as her son as he walked down the steps.

�Couldn�t
sleep?� she asked, taking in his bloodshot eyes.

�Do
we have a map of this town?�

�� Name stared at him.

�� Heero, what�s wrong?�

�� He ran a shaky hand through his hair.

�� I want to help, no, I need to help. Please, mom.�

�� Name smiled.

�� Alright, Heero. Sit down, I�ll
tell you what we�ve found.�

�� It quickly became clear to Heero that he had no information
and no talents that his own mother did not already possess when his search for
Duo ended the same way all the others had. It was completely ridiculous! How
could someone like Duo disappear like this? Why did all his information end
dead? The thought that Duo could be in trouble fueled his efforts, but he had
no leads and ended up walking the streets of downtown in frustration. It
probably hadn�t been the best idea for someone as recognizable to be walking
these streets on foot, he realized once he noticed that someone was following
him, someone that was bigger than him. He frowned and walked faster. He could
conceivably yell for help, but on a rainy day like this, it was doubtful anyone
would hear him. He could face his attacker, but that seemed foolish even to
him. The decision was taken out of his hands as he was grabbed from behind,
spun, and pinned to the wall of a closed restaurant. Red eyes like that of a
demon stared at him out of the darkness.

�� You Heero Yuy?� the person asked
and Heero realized in shock that the �mugger� was just a boy a little older
than him, an attractive boy at that, with long golden hair, but his arms were
long and muscular and Heero could see a hunting knife on his belt.

�� Yes,� he hissed. The blonde grinned and Heero felt him
shove a piece in his hand.

�� Duo�s around there,� the boy said simply and started to
walk off. Heero blinked at him in confusion, looking down at the paper.

�� We�ve already looked there!� he protested. Crimson eyes
looked back at him.

�� His address is fake, but that
street still exists. Hang out there long enough and you�ll spot him.�

�� Who the hell are you?� Heero hissed,
clutching at the paper like it was his only saving grace. The red eyed boy
sighed.

�� Look, Duo�s in deep shit and right now he can�t pull
himself out, so he needs your help. Unfortunately, you�re the only one who can
help him.�

�� What kind of trouble?� Heero asked, his heart burning.
This boy knew Duo!

�� Just find him,� the boy said wearily and walked off.

��

�� Shi smirked as he walked away. The kid sure had hooked himself
a hot one. Of course, everyone knew that Heero Yuy
was cute, but in person he was something else! At least Solo
would be pleased that he had lost to someone worthy. He had wanted to tell Yuy the truth about Duo, but it wasn�t his place, so he had
just given him his location. Now, everything else was up to the two of them
and, hopefully, at least one of their little group
could have a happy ending. Or, at least Duo could see his love one last time.
If only they could have all been that lucky.

��

�� As Solo left for the night, Duo felt any happiness he had
felt dissipating. It had been hard putting on a smile for his old friend and he
felt drained now that he had nothing to prove. He knew that Shi and Solo had
been right and whatever he felt for Wes didn�t mean anything in the face of
what the man had done to him, but he also couldn�t ignore the fact that he was
walking around now because of him and he was probably alive because of Wes�
shelter. He rubbed at his chilled chest, coughing harshly. Shi was wrong about
one thing, however, it didn�t matter how much the blonde tried to save him, he
was already half dead, he was just waiting for either the sickness or his
wounds to finish the job on his worn down body. He was glad that he would go
that way instead of what Wes had promised him, for that he considered himself
lucky.

�� The rain was still pouring down making the neon lights glow
like halos in the distance. Despite the rain, Duo saw the man coming down the
block and he recognized him, not by his face or eyes, but his walk and the
bright red shirt that he always wore. Parker, or at
least that had been the name he had used, though it could have been a lie since
Duo had been so out of it at the time. It was one of the strange men Wes had
brought to the apartment, though Duo only remembered the red shirt and the limp
the man had in his left leg from when he had had trouble in certain positions.
Duo watched cautiously as the man got closer to him and realized that he wasn�t
just walking out in the rain for no reason. Age old instinct screamed at him to
run, that there was only one reason why the man would seek him out and his body
couldn�t handle that right now, but he didn�t.

�� Parker smiled at him and came close enough to shelter Duo
with his large navy umbrella. Duo shuddered as he recognized his heavy scent
and large hands. He should have gone to the apartment once night had fallen,
but he hated the thought of going back there.

�� Are you Maxwell�s boy?� the man asked in the sort of
eagerness that Duo had come to both anticipate, understand, and loathe. For the
first time, Duo realized that the man�s eyes were blue, not Heero�s blue, but a
dull, powdered blue like the noon sky. He nodded. Parker grinned.

�� What are you doing out here in this weather?�

�� Watching the rain,� Duo said. The strange answer made the
man frown and he studied Duo�s face.

�� Does your father know you�re out here?�

�� Yes.�

�� Parker gained his father back and he grabbed Duo�s upper
arm.

�� Why don�t we get out of this rain?�

�� Duo let the man drag him off under an overhang and push him
against one of the shop windows.

�� Someone will see,� Duo protested. Parker nipped at his
neck, leaving a small hickey.

�� It�s pouring, kiddo, no one�s out here but us,� he assured
him, unzipping Duo�s pants.

�� It�s fifty,� Duo said. The man snorted.

�� I�m a little short right now,� the blue eyed man snuck his
hands down the back of Duo�s jeans. Duo stared blankly into the blackness of
the night. He realized that the man had never intended to pay in the first
place.

�� You can�t-,� Duo started to protest when the man�s grip on
his arm tightened threateningly and he stopped. He didn�t care. What difference
did it make? One man, two, three� it didn�t matter anymore. He was above
violation. It was just flesh anyway, right? Rape wasn�t such a big deal, he had survived it over and over again� Duo�s tears
were masked by the rain still on his face. Parker unzipped his slacks and slid
a hand under Duo�s top.

�� What the fuck do you think you�re doing?!�

�� Duo suddenly came back to himself. He knew that voice� He
looked over Parker�s shoulder into the rain and saw Heero standing in the rain,
soaked and furious, his beautiful blue eyes, the right shade of blue, glowing
in the dark of the storm, his hair still somehow tussled even under the weight
of the water.

�� Heero��

�� Shit!� Parker swore, realizing the deadly territory that
he was in and zipped up his pants hastily, letting go of Duo who slumped
against the window and ran off past Heero. Heero didn�t go after him, his eyes
solely fixed on Duo. Duo blinked uselessly at him, trying to get his eyes to
tell him the truth. There was no way that Heero could be here now, it was
impossible! Heero stood in front of him anyway, glaring at him.

�� Are you a whore?� he demanded. Duo stared at him. His
fuddled mind couldn�t figure out what was going on.

�� Yes.�

�� Heero growled low in his throat and grabbed Duo�s arm,
dragging him to an unfamiliar, silver Lamborghini, opening the door and shoving
him inside.

�� Get in,� he snapped. Duo dumbly sat down in the creamy
leather seats.

��

�� Heero kept one eye on the road and another on Duo, who
huddled in the seat. His heart cried out at the sight of him. How long had it
been since they had last seen each other? But, anger still boiled inside of
him. So, it hadn�t been just Zechs, Duo had been whoring himself to anyone that
had been willing to pay. His grip on the steering wheel tightened and he pulled
over into a gas station, turning off the engine and he glared at Duo.

�� What the fuck is wrong with you?!�

�� Duo stared at him with such flat eyes that it made Heero
flinch. This person wasn�t his Duo, this was someone
else, a stranger.

�� You�re fifteen years old, you
have no business doing this!� Heero screamed. Duo flinched away from him like
he had been struck and Heero paled.

�� This is so disgusting,� Heero shook his head, �How could
you do this? This is worse than that thing with Zechs! How
can you give your body to complete strangers?!�

�� Duo�s heart clenched. Heero was here, but he was so angry
and it was all his fault. He tried to be strong, but
there was no strength yet and he started to sob.

�� I�m sorry, I�m so sorry, I never meant to hurt you!�

�� Yeah, well you have a real knack for it anyway!� Heero
snapped back. Duo wrapped his hands around his stomach.

�� I didn�t have a choice��

�� Everyone has a choice!� Heero roared, �Don�t you dare
defend it to me!�

�� I was so hungry�� Duo�s vision started to waver and he
shook a little, but it wasn�t because of the tears. Emotional agony ripped
through him. Heero hated him� and he was right, he was disgusting.

�� Then you should have found another way!� Heero�s rage
crested and he realized that if he stayed in the car for too long, he wouldn�t
be able to control himself.

�� Stay in the fucking car,� he snarled, opening and slamming
the door and storming into the gas station. Duo watched him go with tears in
his eyes.

�� Heero, I�m sorry, but this is who I am.�

�� Heero paced through the aisles of the gas stations snack
supply, not noticing the strange looks that the attendant was giving him. What
the hell was he going to do? His emotions surged in a confused jumble inside of
him. How could Duo do this? He was so angry� but why? Duo had sold himself, but
he no longer believed that he had used him, so why was he angrier now than
before? The sight of that man doing that to Duo� He should have been happy
about finding him, but he was just so mad about what he had seen. He had come
here to take Duo home and get some answers, not explode at him again. Why was
he so out of control where Duo was concerned?

�� Because you love him,� a small voice that sounded
suspiciously like his mother said deep in his mind. He sighed and felt a little
bit of the madness ebb away. He had to get Duo home, that
was all that mattered. He could be mad at him when he was safe. All he knew was
that there was something horribly wrong, that look on Duo�s face had been
terrible. He bought some hot chocolate for Duo because he had looked so cold
and returned to the car. He ran when he saw that Duo�s door was open.

�� Fuck!� he swore as he saw blood on the seat and a few
specks of blood on the dash board. He had screwed up again! He had to find him
and get him some help� As Heero started off the car and sped off, his
nightmares of Duo dying in a pool of blood.

�� Heero hated him� that was all that Duo could think of as he
ran. Heero, he had missed him so much, but he didn�t care about him anymore,
how could he? Rain poured into his eyes and he tripped, skinning his knees on
the pavement and he fell onto his bad side, screaming in pain. Why was this
happening?! Why did he have to hurt Heero over and over and over again? Heero�
he just wanted to be with him! He curled up into a ball as the rain soaked him
to the bone and he shivered violently, his withdrawal building up and he
coughed hard, blood splattering onto the concrete, the legs of his jeans soaked
in the dark red stuff. Everything hurt� why couldn�t he just die? If he
couldn�t be with Heero, he didn�t want to survive anymore. He didn�t want to
whore himself anymore! He just couldn�t do it, he couldn�t bear the thought of
anyone touching him when he knew that Heero had been out, looking for him. Even
if he hated him, Duo couldn�t stop loving him. He was so cold� Large hands
grabbed him and lifted him, but he was too tired to even open his eyes.

��

Duo
was rudely awakened as he was dropped to the floor. His vision was more blurry
than usual as he blinked in the bright lights. He felt a soft carpet under him,
but he had no idea where he was.

�� Wake up,� a harsh voice ordered, a large hand slapping him
in the face.

�� Chris?� he murmured. The large man smirked down at him.

�� I told Wes that he was an idiot for trusting you again,
even when he ordered me to follow you, I knew that you were just going to slip
up again, and here you are, running to Yuy again!�

�� Fuck you,� Duo murmured, looking around the small room for
something that he could use as a weapon.

�� No, no, no, see, you have that all backwards! I�m going to
fuck you and then you�re going
straight back to Wes where you belong!�

�� I�m never going back there!� Duo said with as much
strength that he could muster. Chris suddenly grabbed his head and slammed it
to the floor.

�� I suggest that you learn to respect your elders,� he snarled,
punching Duo in the chest. He grabbed Duo�s bad side and squeezed. Duo�s eyes
shot open and he screamed. He felt something hot and terrible burst in his side
and an agony like he had never felt filled him. He curled up defensively, dry
heaving as nausea attacked him. His vision became gray and shifted between
blackness.

�� Oh, god, oh, god�� he whimpered. His heart was beating too
fast, even more than when he ran for a long time. Chris grabbed his shoulder
and slammed him against the floor again.

�� Shut up!� he snapped. Duo grabbed feebly at his pain for
some sort of psychotic strength and his vision returned for a few seconds. He
wrapped his legs around Chris�s throat and squeezed. Chris choked and grabbed
at his legs, but Duo refused to let go. He couldn�t see beyond the bright
lights and his own terrible pain, but he blindly searched wildly with his hands
until he came in contact with something solid and slammed the lamp down on
Chris� head. He felt Chris� heavy body fall on him and he blacked out.

��

�� Duo awoke in an alley somewhere, laying in a puddle and
choking on the water. He sat up quickly to keep from drowning, coughing up
blood and curling up to protect his side. His vision was still blurry and
distorted and his glasses were missing. He was bleeding all over the place and
he couldn�t remember how he had gotten there. He pushed himself to his feet,
only to immediately fall back down. He stumbled back to his feet and felt at
the wall, leading himself out of the alley. Pain pounded in his side and he
fell to his knees again, crying out in frustration. He had to get to shelter�
he had to go to the only place where it�s safe. He needed to go home.

�� Heero slammed on the breaks for what felt like the
hundredth time as the rain became too much for his vision. He wasn�t getting
anywhere at this rate! His eyes strayed to the blood on the seat. Duo was hurt
and sick and who knew what else and he had to find him, but it was impossible
in this storm! Heero banged his head against the steering wheel and cursed his
temper. He had lost control again and he had lost Duo because of it. He didn�t
blame Duo for running away, it was all his fault. At
least last time he had thought that Duo had been scamming him, now Duo really
did need his help and he had still attacked him.

�� Heero tried to think. Obviously looking for Duo like this
wasn�t working. He had to think about where Duo would go, but he still didn�t
know where Duo lived! Suddenly, it clicked. If he was hurt and sick, there was
only one place that he would go, a place where people cared about him and he
was totally safe.

�� Even though he couldn�t see very well, the Yuy house was still the best thing that he had ever seen.
How long had it been since he had been here? He almost cried as he touched the
smooth wood of the door. All the lights were off in the house, but the power
wasn�t out. He had been to this place so many times,
he easily remembered the security codes. If he had any thought process left, he
would have wondered why the world around him was so blurry and impossible to
understand but it was so easy to him to break into his ex-friend�s house. But,
he didn�t care, all he could think about was getting home, like a pregnant cat
looking for a porch to crawl under.

�� There was no one in the house and he wasn�t stopped as he
staggered up the steps into Heero�s room. He almost fell at the smell of Heero
and the memories that this room held. He sat on the amazingly soft carpet and
pulled Heero�s blanket off the bed and wrapped it around himself. It smelled
like Heero� he could almost imagine that Heero was here, holding him.

�� Heero almost cried out in joy when he saw that the house
still had no lights on, but the door was wide open. Could it be that he finally
had a break? His joy quickly vanished as he followed the water tracks into the
house, which soon turned into blood tracks. Duo was bleeding, but why? What if
he had been shot or stabbed? He ran up the stairs, following the trail of blood
to his bedroom. He froze at the sight of Duo wrapped up in his blanket, the
blue quilt stained with blood. Duo was sitting on the floor, leaning against
the bed, and not moving. He ran to him, falling to the floor and shaking him.

�� Duo! Duo, you have to wake up!�
but his cries were useless and Duo didn�t stir. Heero panicked. Was he dead?
Had he killed him?! There was so much blood� Heero pressed his fingers to Duo�s
neck. His pulse was racing almost impossibly fast, but the beat wasn�t strong
and Duo�s breathing was unsteady and raspy.

�� Come on, Duo, I know you�re stronger than this,� he
murmured as he untangled the blanket and Duo groaned in annoyance at his source
of heat and security being taken away. Heero winced as he saw the blood soaked
white t-shirt. He lifted the shirt and paled as he saw that Duo�s side was
horribly swollen and bleeding, but it wasn�t the blood that bothered him, it
was the fact that the swollen mass was a deep purple.

�� Internal bleeding,� he thought angrily. Duo blinked up at
him blearily.

�� Hee� ro?�
he rasped. Heero bit his lip and hugged Duo close, apologizing profusely as Duo
made a small noise of pain.

�� Duo, don�t talk, I�m going to get you to a hospital, ok?�
Heero rambled, panicking.

�� Heero, please� you have to kill me�� Duo begged, his eyes clouded over in pain.

�� What?!� Heero snapped, �What the
hell, Duo?!�

�� It hurts so much! I can�t take this anymore,
I�m so tired of being in pain� I just want to be with you� you�re the best
thing that�s ever happened to me� please, just make it stop!� Duo cried. Heero
stroked his hair and kissed the top of his head.

�� You�re the best thing that�s ever happened to me, too, and
I�m so sorry, Duo! I had no right to say those things! I was just angry��

�� Duo shook his head.

�� It�s ok, Heero, don�t apologize�� he murmured, starting to
fade into darkness again. Heero felt tears track down his cheek, but didn�t pay
any attention to them.

�� I�m going to save you,� Heero swore, �I�ll make the pain
stop, but my way!� he hooked Duo�s knees with his arms and wrapped his other
around his back, gently lifting him up.

�� thank you, Heero��

�� The ride to the hospital was the longest thing Heero had
ever done. Every five seconds he looked over at his friend, just to make sure
he was still alive. It was hard going, going fast enough to get to the hospital,
but slow enough that nothing would cause Duo any more pain. He couldn�t believe
that this was happening! Duo could really die� Driving in the rain was
treacherous, but no one else was out, so he got to the hospital within ten
minutes. The rest of the trip was a blur to him. The only coherent thing that
he could remember after getting to the hospital was someone wearing white
taking Duo from him. He fought and swore, trying to get his precious bundle
back, then there was a sharp prick, and the next thing
he knew he was sitting in a chair in the waiting room with a blonde nurse
watching him carefully.

�� Duo!� he sat up in alarm. The nurse put a gentle hand on
his shoulder.

�� It�s ok, Mr. Yuy, your friend�s
in the O.R.�

�� Heero glared at her.

�� I want to see him!� Heero cried. She shook her head.

�� I�m sorry, but he�s being operated on,� she smiled softly
at him, �if you hadn�t brought him here so quickly, he wouldn�t have made it.
You did well.�

�� Heero slumped in the seat and pinched his nose.

�� Will he be ok?�

�� She looked at him sadly.

�� I�m sorry, but the only person I can talk to about that is
his father.�

�� Heero frowned. Duo�s father� where the fuck was Duo�s
father anyway? He had to be freaking out, unless� Heero sat up quickly. Unless
he knew about everything� if that was true, he was dead, but right now he had to focus on Duo and finding out if he
was ok and what they were doing to him and he knew just how to get it.

�� Do you have a phone I can use?�

�� Heero!� Name called as she ran
into the waiting room.

�� Mom�� Heero hugged her tightly, �they won�t tell me
anything!�

�� Name let go of him and shook her head.

�� You�ve done all that you can and you found him, now it�s time for me to do my part,� she glared at the
nurse that had stayed with Heero while he waited for his mother. She glanced at
the nurse�s nametag, which read �Barton�, with some skepticism, but didn�t say
anything about her name.

�� I need to know everything you have on Duo Maxwell.�

�� Nurse Barton paled at the other woman�s fierce look.

�� I-I can�t do that, Mrs. Yuy, not
without Mr. Maxwell�s permission.�

�� Yes, I understand that, but Mr. Maxwell is nowhere to be
found.�

�� But we need his permission to do surgery!� Barton
protested. Name glared at her.

�� What surgery?�

�� I can lose my job!�

�� We�re all that boy has right now and I can promise you, if
you don�t cooperate with me, I will get
you terminated and that will be just the start of your problems!� Name snarled.
Barton took a step away from her and sighed.

�� He�s in surgery right now for a ruptured spleen. His
doctor told me to locate his father because he has several infected wounds and
we need to do surgery to drain the abscesses. We can give him surgery for his
spleen because he could die, but right now the infections don�t pose an
immediate threat-,�

�� That�s bullshit!� Name snapped, �He can�t recover from the
surgery if his system is infected!�

�� That�s why we need his father!� Barton yelled back. Name
got in her face.

�� I am acting on his father�s behalf,� she said. The nurse�s
blue eyes widened.

�� You can�t do that! I�ll get fired-,�

�� I�ll see to it you don�t take any heat for this, but right
now that boy needs someone responsible to take care of him and I�m all he has,
do you understand?�

�� The blonde nodded.

�� I�ll tell the doctor.�

�� While you�re at it, get me his medical records. I want to
know what�s wrong with him. When you return, you will tell me what the doctor
thinks, understood?� Name demanded. The nurse nodded fearfully and ran off.
Name sighed wearily and sat down next to Heero.

�� Thank you, mom,� he murmured. She smiled at him.

�� You never have to thank me for this. I meant what I said, we�re all that Duo has. I don�t know where Duo�s
father is, but the man has a lot to answer for and right now, Duo doesn�t need
him.�

�� Heero put his hands over his eyes.

�� I yelled at him again, I made him cry. He was� selling
himself to some stranger! I just� exploded. I made him cry��

�� Name stroked his hair.

�� Heero, no one�s perfect. You were angry and while I don�t
like what you did, you got over it.�

�� He forgave me,� Heero murmured, �I don�t understand him. I
yelled at him, hit him, and he forgave me��

�� Name smiled.

�� He loves you and you love him. That�s a part of
friendship, forgiving someone you love for acting like an idiot.�

�� Heero snorted.

�� I just didn�t want to see the truth, and now he could die�
I don�t deserve to be here, Duo deserves a better friend than me!�

�� Name sighed.

�� Heero, you hurt him and, through your own stubbornness,
you hurt yourself, but you�re his only friend and he needs you here, not at
home sulking over the past.�

�� Heero bit his lip.

�� As sorry as I am, I can�t leave him.�

�� The two Yuys waited for the nurse
to return and after a few minutes, the anxiety finally caught up with Heero and
he collapsed into a fitful sleep. Name watched over him with a sad smile. This
was the second time Heero had been in this position,
she just hoped that history wouldn�t repeat itself.

�� He was a kid again,
being led through the white corridor by someone much larger than himself. He
didn�t want to go there! He knew what lied in there; death and decay and pain!
But, the hand didn�t let go of his smaller one as it dragged him forward. The
door opened Heero was shoved forward. He stumbled up to the hospital bed. He
looked up at the blood caked face with fear. This wasn�t right� it was all a
lie� dying violet eyes looked down at him.

�� Heero,
I forgave you� so why did you kill me?� Duo asked in a terrible, wet voice.

�� It�s
time to say goodbye, Heero,� he heard someone say.

��

�� Heero shot awake, almost falling out of the chair, but his
mother�s grip on his arm saved him.

�� Heero, it�s alright!� she cried, helping him back into the
chair.

�� I killed him,� Heero panted, �oh, God, he�s dead, isn�t
he?!�

�� No!� Name said, �Heero, it�s only been twenty minutes, the
nurse will be back soon. I�m sure Duo�s fine!� she said, but she almost bit off
the lie. Heero wiped at his eyes.

�� He can�t die, mom, he just can�t.� But, Heero knew the
truth, Duo could die. He had thought as a child that his parents could never
die, but his father had and now, Duo could as well. For the first time, Heero
realized just how hard his father�s death had been for his mother. She was so
good at hiding her feelings, he had never really thought about it before, but
he thought about how much it hurt thinking about Duo dying and he knew that as
much as he had been hurting losing his father, his mother�s pain must have been
so much worse. He grabbed at her hand and squeezed.

��

�� True to his mother�s word, Nurse Barton
with news about Duo.

�� He�s still in surgery, so I can�t ask the surgeon how he�s
doing, but his doctor has given me his initial findings,� Barton frowned, �it�s
the strangest thing, but I can�t find any medical records on him��

�� Name waved a hand at her.

�� I�m sure that he doesn�t but if you would please tell us
what his doctor said?�

�� Barton looked at her nervously.

�� It�s just a preliminary prognosis��

�� I don�t care!� Heero snarled, getting to his feet, �Just
tell me what�s wrong with him!�

�� Barton sighed.

�� A very minor concussion, three cracked ribs, a ruptured
spleen, malnutrition, internal bleeding, several epidermis issues such as
excessive scar tissue, bruises, contusions, cuts, and burns, hypothermia,
bronchitis, anemia, there are some burst blood vessels in his stomach and lungs
that have caused him to cough and vomit up blood and he seems to be going
through some sort of withdrawal, but we don�t know what kind of drug it is yet.
The worst,� she hesitated, �well, he shows signs of very severe anal and rectal
trauma and there is a great deal of scar tissue in that area that needs to be
taken care of or he�ll have complications.�

�� Heero clenched his hands.

�� The thing is,� the nurse bit her lip, �the doctor says
that it takes a long time for that much scar tissue to build up. Do you know
how old he is?� she asked in concern.

�� He�s fifteen!� Name snapped angrily, �Are you suggesting
that he was raped as a child?�

�� I�m not qualified to say that,� Barton said sadly, �you�ll
have to ask his doctor.�

�� How long will he be in surgery?� Heero asked. The nurse
smiled at him.

�� He should be out in four hours, unless there�s
any complications, but he probably won�t regain consciousness tonight.�

�� Heero gave his mother a nervous look and squeezed her hand.

�� Heero!� Heero�s head shot up as
he heard Quatre call his name. It had been two hours already and they hadn�t
heard anything more about Duo. Heero felt like ripping his guts out with the
silence in the halls. Neither he nor his mother had gotten anymore sleep, no
matter how tired they were, they couldn�t sleep. Heero couldn�t remember a time
when he had felt worse than he did now.

�� Quatre, Trowa, and, to his surprise, Wufei, ran through the
waiting room to them.

�� What are you doing here?� Name asked, surprised. Quatre
shrugged.

�� We�ve been checking hospital records, remember? When we
got home and you guys weren�t here, we checked the hospitals and we rushed
over. We met this guy,� he jerked his thumb at Wufei, �on the way.�

�� What are you doing here, Chang?� Heero
asked, too weary to start a fight. He honestly didn�t care if Wufei had
come to see if Duo was alright, right now, Duo was the only thing that mattered
to him.

�� My mother works here,� he explained, �she knows how I feel
about Duo and she told me that he was in surgery. May I sit?� Wufei gestured to
the seats. Heero nodded.

�� Go ahead, you�re not bothering anyone.�

�� How are you holding up?� Quatre asked.

�� The doctor says he should be out in two more hours,� Name
said.

�� It�s been a long night,� Heero murmured dejectedly, not
feeling like explaining all that had happened with Wufei listening. Quatre
hugged him.

�� It�ll be alright, Heero.�

�� Heero nodded, but didn�t believe him.

�� Maxwell family?� a tall man in a white lab coat called.
Heero blinked blearily at him. It had been four and a half hours, had the
doctor finally showed up to tell him that his best friend was dead? Heero
didn�t know what was worse, waiting or knowing the truth.

�� That�s us,� Name said as she stood. The doctor looked at
her in suspicion, but didn�t say anything. Heero had seen it a thousand times
where his mother was concerned.

�� Dr. Stark,� the man introduced himself, shaking Name�s
hand, �I�m Mr. Maxwell�s doctor.�

�� No offense, Doctor,� Name interrupted, �but we�ve been
waiting five hours to see Duo, so either give us some good news or leave us
alone.�

�� The green eyes doctor smiled at her.

�� Of course, I�m sorry. Duo is out of surgery. We managed to
remove his spleen successfully. He�s resting now, but he�ll need a couple more
surgeries to take care of his infections and the injuries to his anus.�

�� Can we see him?� Heero demanded excitedly. Duo was alive�

�� He�s still recovering from surgery, but he�s sedated, so
I�m willing to let in one person.��

�� Heero blushed as all eyes except for Wufei�s annoyed ones
fell on him. He turned to his mother.

�� You need this, Heero,� she said. The doctor motioned Heero
to follow and the two of them disappeared out of the waiting room.

�� Alright, Name, you have to tell us what�s going on,�
Quatre demanded.

�� Heero swallowed nervously as Stark led him to Duo�s room.
He tried to ignore the similarities between reality and his dream. What if Duo
was dead when he got there? What if Stark had lied?

�� But, when Heero opened the door to Duo�s room, he didn�t
see a bloody corpse. He stared at the pale figure in the bed and felt as though
his guts were trying to crawl out of his throat. Stark patted his shoulder.

�� I need to talk to your mother about some things. I�ll be
back in a little while,� the man said and left Heero alone. Heero slowly
approached the bed. Duo was lying on his stomach, the back of his gown open and
Heero winced as he saw the tubes attached to him there, as well as the ones in
his arms. Duo hated sleeping on his stomach, he remembered, he always slept on
his side, but Heero noted the heavy bandages on his side, along with more
tubes, and realized that it was impossible for him to sleep that way and would
be for awhile. His hair was loose and pushed to the side to keep away from his
back. Heero�s eyes trailed over Duo�s pale skin, pausing on each horrible scar.
How had he not noticed them? Someone had tortured him. Had it been Zechs, his
father, or someone else? He saw what Barton had meant about ancient scar
tissue, because some of the scars were very old. Heero tried to imagine Duo as
a child, taking those scars, and couldn�t bear it. His friend looked so broken laying on the bed like that.He
pushed a chair over to Duo�s bedside. The doctor had said that he would be
moved in the morning, but tonight he had to be monitored in this room. Heero
knew that he wasn�t going to be leaving him anytime soon. He had left him
before and he wasn�t ever doing that again. He had let this happen� no, the
bastard who did this was at fault! He brushed Duo�s bangs away from his face.

�� I�m so sorry. I�ll protect you, I promise.�

�� Heero didn�t know when he had drifted off while watching
Duo sleep, but when he finally woke up, he was in a different room. Duo was in
a different bed and half of the tubes were gone. He sure looked a lot better,
not so� frail. He was still on his back, but the tubes in his back were gone
and the gown was closed, for which he was glad. He didn�t like people looking
at that slender back. His mother was sitting in a chair next to him, watching
Duo sleep.

�� Good morning, Heero,� she smiled.

�� How is he?� Heero asked.

�� He�s doing better. Dr. Stark thinks that he should be
waking up soon. They figured out the drug that he had been given and they gave
him something for the withdrawal and pain of the operation. They drained most
of the abscesses last night, but they still have to operate of the scar tissue
and tears,� she told him. He nodded. She stretched painfully and stood.

�� I�m going to call Trowa and Quatre, they went back home
last night. I�m sure they�ll want to be here when Duo wakes up.�

�� Heero almost rolled his eyes at the subtle way his mother
left him alone. He looked around the room in her absence. There wasn�t much of
a difference between this room and the last. The nurse came in and out,
checking Duo�s heart beat and blood pressure and smiling in an annoyingly sweet
way to Heero.

�� Heero?� a soft voice asked. Heero looked at Duo sharply,
who was staring at him. Suddenly, Duo�s eyes brightened and he rolled over,
launching himself at Heero.

�� Heero!� he cried, molding himself to Heero�s body, making
him blush, �Heero, oh, god, I missed you!� he cried. Heero grabbed at him in
alarm.

�� Duo! Don�t move!� he demanded,
pushing Duo back into bed. �You�re going to hurt yourself.�

�� Duo winced as he felt a sharp pain in his side, but it
quickly vanished. What the hell? He felt oddly� happy and he couldn�t feel much
pain. Heero caught Duo�s confused expression and chuckled.

�� It�s the drugs.� Heero suddenly frowned.

�� I missed you so much. Gods, Duo, I�m so sorry!�

�� Don�t!� Duo snapped, �I don�t care, ok? I spent the last
month yearning to be with you! I lied to you!�

�� And I hit you!� Heero protested.

�� Can we just put this behind us?� Duo begged, �I need you,
Heero. I can�t deal with any of this right now. I feel so� spacey.�

�� Heero held his hand.

�� I know, but as soon as you feel better, we need to talk,
ok?�

�� Duo nodded.

�� Alright.�

�� Suddenly, Duo burst into tears.

�� I missed you so much! I wanted to see you, but I was so
ashamed��

�� Heero laid his head against Duo�s undamaged shoulder.

�� Don�t, I want answers to why this happened, but right now,
I don�t care about it. I missed you, too.�

�� Why can�t I control myself?� Duo murmured, too weak to
even wipe away his tears, but Heero did it for him.

�� It�s the drugs,� Heero repeated. Duo shook his head.

�� That�s not what I meant. Ever since that day, I can�t get
control of myself. I can�t be strong anymore.�

�� Who says that you have to?� Heero asked.

�� It�s all I have, just, surviving.�

�� Heero smiled.

�� What about living?�

�� Duo snorted.

�� Not in the agenda.�

��

�� The two friends were suddenly broken out of their
conversation as the door opened and Name, Quatre, Trowa, and Wufei walked
inside.

�� Quatre, Trowa!� Duo cried cheerfully, making Name smirk.
They all knew that once the drugs wore off, there would be hell to pay, but for
now, Name felt glad that he wasn�t miserable.

�� Hi, Duo,� Trowa grinned, �how�re you feeling?�

�� Duo frowned.

�� Kind of weird. I can�t feel any
pain.�

�� Well, that would be the point of the drugs,� Quatre said
dryly, wanting to hug Duo tightly but knew that he couldn�t. He almost cried as
he approached the bed with the knowledge of what Name had told them. He settled
for just squeezing Duo�s hand instead.

�� Mrs. Yuy!� Duo cried. Name
smiled at him and kissed his cheek.

�� It�s Name, Duo,� she scolded, sharing a look with Trowa.
Why couldn�t this Duo stay forever? She didn�t want to think about what was
going to happen after.

�� Duo, I need to talk to you about what happened,� she said.
Duo�s eyes darkened. Wufei looked a little put out about not getting a greeting
from Duo, but was anxious to find out what was going on. Why was his beautiful
Duo in the hospital and why was everyone being so secretive?

�� I don�t want to talk about it,� Duo said, his expression
begging Name to stop.

�� You have to, Duo. I need to know if the cops should be
involved.�

�� They have to be!� Heero snapped, �He�s been abused!�

�� How do you know about that?� Duo asked fearfully.

�� It�s a hard thing to hide, sweetie,� Name said, �I�m just
sorry that it took us so long to find it out.�

�� I can�t talk about it!� Duo insisted.

�� Look at yourself, Duo,� Name whispered, �someone beat you
and I want to know who it was! You�re just a child and you need to be
protected!�

�� Duo looked away from her.

�� Nothing happened. Nothing�s wrong, I just had a little
accident.�

�� Don�t you dare say that!� Heero
snapped, �You�ve been protecting your father since I met you and he�s the one
who did this, isn�t he?!�

�� Duo remained silent. He loved Heero, but he could never
give up Wes� name. Name kneeled by his bedside, gripped his chin, and forced
him to look at her.

�� Honey, why won�t you give up his name?� she asked softly.
Duo felt tears prickle at his eyes and he let them fall.

�� He hasn�t just hurt you, has he? He made you sell
yourself, didn�t he? Why are you so attached to a man that�s abused you?�

�� Duo looked into her kind, motherly black eyes and broke.

�� I never knew my parents, either of them. I�d lived on the
streets my whole life before I met who I call my �father�.�

�� They were all shocked to here that, but they stayed silent,
afraid that Duo would stop talking if they said anything.

�� This man approached me one day,
he told me that if I did a job for him, he�d give me something to eat. I knew
that I shouldn�t go with him, but I did. I was so hungry,� he tried to look
away from Name, but she wouldn�t let go of him.

�� How old were you?� she asked.

�� Seven.�

�� You were just a baby,� she murmured, �even if you knew
that he was bad, it wasn�t your fault for wanting food, it
was his fault for taking advantage of your position.�

�� Duo wanted to stop, he didn�t want to tell this woman the
whole truth, but at the same time, he did. He wanted her to keep that soft,
sympathetic look through the whole story.

�� He drugged the food. He raped me.�

�� The room was silent in shock with the exception of a small
noise from Quatre.

�� He� trained me. Told me that he would
give me shelter if I became his whore. So, that�s what I am. A whore.�

�� A child whore,� Name murmured in disgust, but when she
looked into Duo�s eyes, Duo realized that she wasn�t disgusted him and relaxed.
He looked at Heero, but to his shock, there was no hate in his blue eyes, just
sadness.

�� How are you so smart?� the Japanese boy asked. Duo blinked
at him.

�� What?�

�� You say that you lived on the street all your life, but
how do you know how to read?�

�� I taught myself how to read,� Duo explained, �he had some
brochures and stuff in the apartment we lived in and I figured out how to read
using the pictures.�

�� That�s incredible!� Quatre exclaimed.

�� Not really,� Duo replied, �it was all I could do to keep
my mind off of what I was doing for him.�

�� If he raped you, then why are you protecting him?� Trowa
asked. Duo looked at Name again.

�� He�s all I have,� Duo said and Name shuddered at the dead
look in his gorgeous eyes, �He�s the only parent I�ve ever known. How could I
have betrayed him? I�m only alive today because of him��

�� Duo, what�s his name?� Heero asked, looking into Duo�s
eyes. Duo bit his lip. Half of him yelled at him to not say Wes� name, while
the other wanted to get it over with. What would happen to Wes if he told?
Would he go to jail? And what would happen to himself?
But, he stayed focused on Heero�s eyes.

�� Wes. Wes Maxwell.�

�� Name smiled at him.

�� Ok.�

�� What are you going to do?� Duo asked desperately.

�� We won�t go to the police,� she assured him.

�� The fuck?!� Heero snarled. �That
asshole has to go to jail!� Duo flinched a little at Heero�s anger. Name
sighed.

�� Don�t be an ass, Heero. Duo�s fifteen. If we involve the
cops, he�ll be shipped off to an orphanage. So, unless you never want to see
him again, I suggest you do what I say.�

�� Heero shut his mouth. His mother was right, he knew that,
but he still wanted this Wes to pay.

�� For right now, we won�t do anything. Once Duo�s better,
we�ll look for Maxwell, but right now, Duo�s health is the most important
thing,� she looked at Duo.

�� Why didn�t you fight?� Wufei murmured. They all looked him
as though they had forgotten he was with them.

�� Why didn�t you fight back?!� he screamed at Duo, who
flinched. Heero stood in front of him protectively and glared at Wufei who
didn�t notice him.

�� You should have fought back, even if you had died!�

�� Heero opened his mouth to yell at Wufei for saying
something so terrible, but Duo beat him to it.

�� Do you know what it�s like being raped?�

�� Wufei just blinked at him.

�� It�s like a game show. You watch it on TV and think �I can
do that so easily, so why are these guys losing so badly?� But then you�re on
that show and you can�t think because of all the lights and the pressure� You
see a victim talking on TV about freezing up, being unable to fight and think
that, when the time comes, you�d be able to do what that person couldn�t, but
you can�t. You freeze, you can�t fight, you can barely
breathe! It�s like someone�s stealing a huge part of your soul and when it�s
all done, you�re never the same. After the initial shock of what had happened
to me wore off, I did try to fight. He beat me. It wasn�t hard, a scrawny kid
against a grown man. Even when I got my hands on a knife, he was still bigger
than me, still stronger. Then I tried to run away, he found me and raped me again,
only this time, he beat me at the same time. He told me that if I ever run away
again, he would break my body into little pieces. And fuck it, I was afraid.
But, when I couldn�t see Heero anymore, I gave up and ran away again. He told
me that if I put anything above my �job�, he would tie me up, drug me, and have
men fuck me on a bed for the rest of my life.�

�� It was Name who made the noise this time and she started to
cry.

�� He caught me again and he fulfilled his threat. But, he
�loved� me, so he let me go and here we are,� Duo snapped, �I fought and I
fought, but he fucking won every time!�

�� As Duo started to break down, Wufei couldn�t take anymore
and fled the room. He found himself in the waiting room and sat down on a chair
heavily. How could this be?

�� He remembered the first time he and Fai
had had sex and how pure his love had been. Duo wasn�t Fai.
That thought hit him like a ton of bricks. Duo was beautiful and tainted. He
wasn�t a God, he was just a little boy that needed
some comfort. And� he couldn�t help him. Shit, he was only sixteen, how could
anyone deal with this?! He hung his head. Why couldn�t he just go back to China? He just
wanted to be with his lover and not have to deal with haunted beauties and all
these� angsts.

�� Quatre and Trowa said their goodbyes to Duo who was slowly
falling back to sleep again, and left, holding each other�s hand tightly. As
Heero watched Duo struggle to not fall asleep, he couldn�t help but think about
his own father. He had been so kind� how could anyone hurt a child, let alone
rape one? He couldn�t understand it! He wanted to rip the man into little
shreds and spit on them.

�� Name,� Duo rasped, �I�m sorry about getting water on your
floor.�

�� Heero�s mother laughed.

�� It�s alright sweetie, no harm done.�

�� Duo looked at Heero.

�� Hee� I�m scared,� he murmured
sleepily. Heero smiled fondly at him.

�� I�m here,� he promised, �I�m not going anywhere,� he
squeezed his hand.

�� Name and Heero watched as Duo finally fell asleep, hoping
that he wouldn�t dream.

End Chapter 5

��

��

��

��

(3)I guess you can say that
this entire fic boils down to this one point. When I
was young, I had always thought that it was obvious that my cousin was being
abused by his father and that it was just something that the adult knew. When I
was six and he was eleven, however, he told my parents about it, but no one
believed him. Despite the bruises and obvious psychological signs that he was
being both beaten and raped by his father, they told him that he was just being
a delinquent and stop making up stories. This shocked me and I came to realize
that everyone did know what was going on, they just
didn�t want to face it. What Name says is true, when someone screams rape, a
lot of people try to say that they did something to deserve it or the rapist
just didn�t understand because we don�t want to believe that something that
terrible could happen for no real reason. Heero isn�t so much believing that
Duo betrayed him as wanting to believe that instead of believing that Duo is in
real trouble. It�s actually quite common in cases like that, though, in my
opinion, it�s pretty sick.
- 4
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The Road to Kindness