Karaoke

Seriously, I blame the muse. I swear I sat down with one thing in mind and something else turned up. I don't think I'm writing this story so much as channeling it XD

Couldn't leave him without throwing in some more fun roadblocks hehe Review replies at bottom.

Chapter 5

The decision

Roy was seething; it seemed that every time he even got close to Ed that blonde menace always seemed to get in the way. It wouldn’t be too bad if he didn’t have a slight problem that didn’t want to stay down any longer and thinking about a naked Armstrong only kept it at bay for so long, the mental image of Ed completely taking over his mind and overriding all other thoughts.

God damn it, he needed relief; he needed his little blond subordinate. Oh the things he would do to that boy when he finally got him alone. That mouth alone was a thing of beauty, he managed to fit so much into it, Roy wondered just how much would fit in there and come to think of it, did Ed have a good gag reflex? Just as Roy was wondering how far Fullmetal’s legs would spread, he began to have more problems with his posture, namely with being able to stand up straight.

“Hey Chief, you ok? You look a little bit like you’re in pain.” Great, this was all he needed. There was a time and a place for Havoc and this was not it. He tried to will away his obvious need, twisting as far away from Havoc’s roving eyes as possible.

“I’m fine Havoc, nothing to worry about here” he tried to pull off cool, calm and collected but it came out more pained and anxious.

“If you’re sure chief.”

“I’m sure Havoc” Roy pleaded with whatever deities that might be listening to just make the man go away but again the universe seemed to have it out for him. Havoc leaned back against the wall and tapped at his pocket, obviously wanting to go for a smoke but not making any move to leave his current perch.

“Boss did quite a number don’t you think?” The sudden question gave Roy pause, just what was Havoc up to?

“I didn’t know he had it in him” Roy replied, still trying to hide himself but much more interested in the conversation to really try.

“Looked kinda hot too”

“I beg your pardon” Roy couldn’t believe his ears. Did the only other real ladies man in central just call Edward Elric hot?

“I said he looked kinda hot, I mean he was practically humping that pole what’s not hot about that?” There was no joking tone to what Havoc was saying and it forced Roy to realise that Jean Havoc was seriously calling Ed hot. When a sudden thought hit him that included a very naked Ed riding a very naked Havoc while Roy watched he nearly lost all manner of control.

“Hum…” it was all Roy trusted himself to say, all he wanted was to excuse himself so he could go to the bathroom before his problem became a huge white stain all over the front of his trousers.

“I swear if somebody doesn’t snap him up soon I might just have to revisit that whole ‘men only’ idea.”

“What idea?” despite barely managing to hold on he had to ask, what was that saying about curiosity? Curiosity somethinged the cat, ah never mind, it would come to him.

“A few years ago, I was going through a dry patch and I kinda met someone that changed my life a little. Everyone has to experiment sometime or other right sir?” Roy couldn’t stand it anymore; he had to do something before it was too late.

“Sorry lieutenant but I have to go somewhere, please excuse me.” Roy didn’t have time to worry about the fact that he looked like a madman running away from Havoc. He really didn’t care because the bathroom was right before him and a locked door and five minutes would see him not really caring about much.

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Turned out what was in the bag wasn’t quite as bad as Ed had thought. The second he’d seen the bag his mind had flashed over something Winry had said earlier about him wearing a dress and all colour had drained from his cheeks. When the first thing out had been a pair of very tight, form fitting leather pants, even tighter than his usual pair, he had started breathing again and the colour had slightly returned.

When the next item had been a really tight black top with a round neck and long sleeves that caught over the thumb and that was slightly sheer, he had actually started hyperventilating. Winry had been quick to point out that it could have been worse and there was still time to get him the black sequined dress and his hyperventilating had stopped.

What had really pissed him off was the dog collar. It was black leather with short metal spikes and a tag that hung down in front reading ‘property of Rockbell automail’. The colour had come back to his face then, along with added steam from his ears.

“Winry, there is no way I’m wearing that. The outfit is bad enough but a dog collar?? What in the Hell were you thinking? I mean, I’m not a dog for cryin’ out loud.” His rant didn’t faze Winry in the slightest and she just smiled calmly back at him.

“Ed but you are a dog. A dog of the military.” That smile was back, that shit eating grin that he thought only Mustang had perfected but apparently she had too. There was no denying her logic, mores the pity, but still…it was an affront to his manhood. It was the principle of the thing… It was just down right wrong!

“Come on Ed…hic…it’ll look go…go….cool” Al laughed as he fell against the wall, obviously enjoying his brothers’ pain and humiliation a little too much.

“Al” Ed’s voice was very calm and clear as it reached his rather inebriated brothers ears.

“Yes brother” Al looked at Ed across the hallway and a small part of his brain screamed ‘danger’ at him.

“When you’re sober, we’re going to have a little chat” the look in Al’s eyes resembled that of a cornered animal right before it was slaughtered. His brain became a little less hazy and he gulped, the sudden realisation hitting him that he really better enjoy his life while he could because he was pretty sure that soon he might be experiencing it from a hospital bed, if he was lucky. Al stood, a little less shakily, turned back towards the party and lurched quickly down the corridor. The only thought he had was that the more alcohol he drank the more drunk he would be, which in turn meant that Ed wouldn’t hurt him for a little while longer.

“Ok Ed, time to change” Winry’s voice brought Ed back from watching Al lurch away. If looks could have killed there would have been numerous daggers protruding from his brothers back right now, but then there would have been even more in Winry had that really been the case.

“Winry, I’m not sure about this. I mean the pole dancing was one thing but you can’t be serious about me singing again.”

“Ed, when have you known me to not be serious? This is for your own good anyway. Now hurry up and change, you still have to at least glance at the lyrics so you know what song you’re singing.”

“Oh Winry no. Not another performance.” Ed’s shoulders slumped with the mere thought of having to go through all that again.

“No Ed, not another performance. This time all you have to do is sing but if you want to move then that’s up to you” Winry winked at him before turning and walking away. “Go change in one of the bedrooms and I’ll be back in a minute or two.” Ed blinked as she walked back into the throng of people, suddenly realising that there really was no place to hide when he saw Hawkeye suddenly move to stand at the end of the hall. Sentry duty he realised, she must be there to make sure that he didn’t try to escape. More of the coven were no doubt placed at strategic points around the building.

Sighing rather overdramatically, he moved towards the nearest door stopping only to knock first just in case there was someone in the room already. When there was no reply he gently turned the handle and pushed the door open, slightly relieved that there wasn’t a creak as he did so. The room was dark and he groped around at the wall just inside the door for the light switch.

The light flickered on and Ed pushed the door open wide enough to step in. When he had closed the door and cursed inwardly at the lack of lock he finally took in his surroundings. It must be Mustang’s room, Ed realised. He was pleasantly surprised at the way it was decorated, sparse and yet homely. It had that lived in feel that was just…nice was the only real way to describe it.

The floor was polished wood, slightly dark with a deep plush rug at either side of the four poster queen sized bed. There was an old wardrobe, obviously antique and a large four-drawer dressing table both dark wood, both belonging to the same set as the bed. There was another door off to Ed’s right that upon further inspection seemed to lead to an en-suite that was decorated in black and white. All very masculine and yet still not overly so. Ed smiled at the fact that Mustang apparently had taste; he just wondered where that taste was on normal days.

He heard the sound of people booing and the loud calls of ‘bring back the pole’ coming from the main lounge area and he sighed again. Soon Winry would be coming for him and he could either change now on his own or be forced at wrench point to change with her in the room. A shiver visibly ran down his spine at the thought and he quickly shed himself of his trademark boots and his jeans.

Pulling the leather pants from the bag he grimaced slightly, sure his normal attire included leather pants but his at least gave him some room, these would leave nothing to the imagination. He pulled them on anyway and paused when he reached the part of pulling them past his hips. This could be a problem. They wouldn’t go on over his boxers, Winry had obviously bought them too small and there was no way he could wear them. Shame really, now they’d have to call the whole thing off.

Ed smiled smugly as he thought of the look on Winry’s face when he told her. His smile grew even bigger when he heard her coming down the hall towards the room. Moving faster than he had at any other time in his life, including where food was involved, he pulled on his jeans and went to the door. He yanked it open and looked at a rather confused Winry.

“Why aren’t you changed yet?” She asked, her eyes drawing down into a frown.

“The pants don’t fit so I’m sorry; we’re going to have to call it off.” Ed felt so smug that when Winry fought to hold back a snigger the sudden fear that gripped him was more than anything he had ever felt before.

“Didn’t you find the final item in the bag yet” that grin of hers could be so damn unnerving. She pushed past Ed and walked towards the bag, tipping the contents out onto the bed. Ed watched as the almost sheer top fell out followed by the collar followed by…a handkerchief?

“Winry, what the Hell is that?” Ed’s voice came out small and timid as Winry picked up the piece of fabric, if you could call it that, and walked towards him.

“This Ed, is called a posing pouch. Male strippers wear them. Just be glad that you’re only wearing it because it’s the only thing that will fit under those pants and that you don’t have to be up there wearing just this.” She waved the offending piece of cloth in front of his face. “Of course you could always go commando Ed”. She laughed as his entire face lost all colour, a white sheet would now look grey next to him.

There was no way she just said ‘go commando’, how the Hell had it come to posing pouch verses going commando? This was his birthday right? How had he let it all get so out of control?

“There really is no other choice Ed, you are doing this, the only question now is how much will you be wearing when you do?” Winry dropped a piece of paper on the bed next to the clothes and turned to leave the room. “Trust me Ed, you’ll thank me in the end” and with that she left the room shutting the door behind her and leaving Ed to just stare dumbly at nothing.

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Yes the muse has already hit me with a what if? scenario that I'll type up as soon as I can, you'll have to wait and see what it includes hehe

Amythest: Thank you. I was so worried that it didn't turn out as good as I wanted it to. Can't kill Winry yet, she does have a plan, she just doesn't execute her plans very well XD And I think I gave Roy a few more problems in this one lol

Blysse: So glad you like the humping lol I'm rather partial to that part too ;D
You're welcome, I'm always glad to help although I'm pretty sure my innocence died when reading a few of your stories hehe, you're no slouch in that department yourself ;P Hope the update was fast enough.