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Born Again	By : Naomi Category: Gundam Wing/AC > General Views: 713 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing/AC, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 5
- 6
- 7
Crying To The Walls

AUTHOR�S NOTE: AHHH!!!! It
seems that each time I post, the chapters get longer and longer!!! AHHH!!!!!
This is an extra EXTRA long chapter, so beware... I promise to make the others
shorter! ^^;;;

Many thanks to Casey-chan for
helping me out with this chapter! Arigatou Casey-sama! *bows* Arigatou!

BORN
AGAIN

CHAPTER
FIVE-

LIGHTS
OUT

*   *   *

�Heero! Heero! Open the door,
Heero! Please! Open the door!� Sally�s voice called over and over as her hand
knocked repeatedly on the wooden door in front of her. In her hand, clutched in
her fist, was a scruffy little teddy bear, its large brown eyes looking
pleadingly at the door as Sally begged its owner to answer her. �Heero,
please!�

Behind the door, sitting on a
small double bed, the said Japanese boy frowned as he looked down carefully at
his work. His pale fingers were currently fuddling with the buttons of his
shirt, struggling to button it up, but having little luck with keeping his
movements coordinated. He was biting his lower lip; eyes narrow in
concentration as his fingers tangled with the white shirt and the button
slipped out of his hold.

�Heero, please open up!�

Sally�s urging voice kept
calling from behind the door, begging him and urging him to unlock it. Her
pleas only added in pressuring him even more, adding to his already building
stress. He whimpered silently in distress as his fingers struggled with a
button, tears filling his eyes, as he could not bring himself to button the
shirt.

�Heero!�

�ARGHHH!!!!!� He shouted in
frustration and ripped the shirt off his body, throwing it forcefully to the
floor. Growling in anger and frustration, he jumped up and stomped his foot on
it over and over, tears streaming out of his miserable blue eyes. �ARGH!!!
CHIKUSHOU!!!!!!�

Outside the room, Sally took
a few steps back, hand over her heart as she heard the sounds of utter
frustration and despair coming from behind the door. Her fist closed tightly
around the small bear, and tears filled her eyes.

It�s only been a day since
Duo dropped Heero at their house, saying he has to go away for a while. The
braided man left no time or room for words and arguments, and just left,
leaving Heero behind without a word. He merely dropped Heero�s duffle on the
floor and left. It broke her heart when Heero ran after the boy, crying and
begging him to stay. But Duo ran faster, disappearing behind the elevator�s
doors without looking back. Despite Heero�s claustrophobia, the boy tried to
open the doors, begging Duo to let him in. But by the time the doors reopened,
the elevator was empty and Duo was long gone.

She could do nothing but
watch and try to comfort as Heero collapsed to the floor, punching the floor,
begging Duo to come back.

He had spent the first day
doing nothing but crying. He refused to eat or drink; he shoved any comforting
hand away, and did his best to isolate himself from the world. The minute he
was shown to the guest room, he closed the door, threw himself on the bed and
sunk into another fit of tears and self-pity.

Neither she nor Chang could
do anything, so they just left the boy to his own. But when she woke up this
morning, entering the kitchen, she was surprised to see the scruffy brown fur
that marked Heero�s bear, Yoshi, peeking out of the trashcan. Her heart
clenched painfully and she immediately salvaged the thrown bear and ran to
Heero�s room. It seemed that Heero�s condition was worse than she thought.

�Heero?� The Chinese woman
tried again, knocking on the door. �Heero, please unlock the door. Please, let
me in. Let me see that you�re all right.�

�Go away!� Heero�s voice
called from behind the door, sounding hoarse and heavy with tears.

�Heero, please.� She begged,
lifting Yoshi up, as if the boy could actually see it. �I found Yoshi, don�t you
want to see him?�

�NO! Go away!�

�Heero...� She whispered
sadly, her tearful eyes looking down at the abandoned bear. The large brown
eyes glistered sadly in the morning sun, looking up at her with a silent plea.
She took a deep breath, looking up at the door again. �Heero, it�s not nice to
leave Yoshi like this, don�t you think?�

This time, the boy didn�t
answer, and the silence hung heavily in the air.

�Heero?� Sally asked in
worry, fearful of the sudden silence. She took a deep breath, trying to sound composed
when she spoke. �Heero, do you really want Yoshi to be all alone?�

Again the silence was her
only her answer.

Sally�s fist closed tightly
around the small bear. She took another deep breath and sighed. �Heero?�

For a long time, there was
only silence. Time stood still and Sally held her breath, looking at the door
in a breathless anticipation.

Suddenly, she could hear the
lock being turned and her heart skipped a beat. She took a few steps back; her
eyes wide as she watched the knob slowly turn.

Slowly, the door opened, and
Heero�s head peeked out, the rest of him hiding behind the door. With his
tearful cobalt eyes and cheeks damp with tears, Heero looked like a miserable
little puppy. He looked up at her sadly, his lower lip trembling as he tried to
stop the tears.

Sally�s gaze became
compassionate at his distressed sight, and she did her best to smile at him
kindly. �Heero, it�s okay to come out.�

Heero sighed and cast his
gaze down. Bowing his head, the boy looked down at his feet and took a deep
breath before speaking. �You not laugh?� He whispered, his voice small and
uncertain.

�No, Heero, I won�t laugh.�
Sally promised warmly. She reached out a hand towards Heero, who was still
hidden behind the door, only his head and feet peeking out.

He took a deep breath, and
then slowly, hesitantly, opened the door all the way. He took a few steps back
and to the side, clearing the passage for the older woman. He kept his head
bowed and his eyes glued to the floor, slightly blushing as he felt her eyes on
him.

Sally�s eyes narrowed in pain
and compassion when she realized that he was shying away, for he was wearing no
shirt.

�I can�t put it on...� The
boy mumbled miserably, sniffling silently. He slowly turned to look up at
Sally; his blue eyes shining with unshed tears. �I don�t know how...� He sighed
sadly, and let his gaze down. �.....it�s not nice being stupid......�

A painful tingle tugged at
Sally�s heart and she had to take a moment to just breathe. Heero�s heartbroken
voice was nearly too much, and the desperate look in his eyes was just as bad,
if not worse.. �I�ll help you.� She finally spoke, taking a step forward.

�No.� Heero protested,
shaking his head. He looked up at Sally, his gaze fierce and determined. �You
teach me how.�

Sally forced herself to smile
kindly at him. �Sure.� She took his hand in hers, and handed him Yoshi. �But
only if you�ll give Yoshi a shirt as well.�

At the mention of Yoshi�s
name, Heero�s blue eyes darted down and then widened in pain as he spotted his
bear lying in Sally�s hold. He slowly reached down to take it, his expression
sorrowful. He caressed the bear�s soft and furry head, and then looked up at
Sally in thanks.

The woman smiled led him
further into the room. �C�mon, lets get you dressed and then we�ll find
something for Yoshi.�

Heero smiled. �We wash him
too? He�s stinky...� His smile broadened as he saw the woman nod her head.

�Sure, and then we�ll make
some breakfast, huh? What do you say?�

�You teach me to make food?!�
Heero marveled, surprised that she actually trusted him enough to learn it.

Sally�s smile didn�t falter
as she pulled out a new shirt for Heero to wear. �Sure! Why not?! It�ll be
fun!� She gestured at Heero to come and seat beside her on the bed. The boy
hurried to comply.

�We make pancakes? And I make
for Duo-chan when he come back?�

Sally�s smile wavered for a
second, and she hurried to turn her gaze down at the shirt in her hand.
�Sure...� She mumbled, unbuttoning the shirt. �Sure...� She handed the shirt to
Heero, her blue eyes losing some of their earlier mirth. �C�mon, lets get
started with this first...�

*   *   *

�Oh Charely... oh gods... oh
gods... oh gods... nnn... ahhh� OH GOD CHARELY! YES! YES! YESSSSS!!!!!!!!!�

In a dark cinema hall, bored
violet eyes rolled back, followed by a disgusted snort. The dark violet orbs
looked away from the giant screen, and a deep sigh was heard within the moaning
and groaning emitted from the speakers around the hall.

Sinking back into his seat,
Duo leaned one elbow on the armrest and leaned his head on it, looking up at
the screen with bored eyes. Black and heavy bags hung under his eyes, an
indication to lack of sleep. His face, unshaved, was blead bid bitter, his eyes
conveying nothing but deep sadness and bitterness. He scanned the few individuals
sitting around the cheap cinema hall, his eyes narrowing painfully as he
spotted a couple making out in the back row. He turned to face the front again,
and sighed deeply.

He didn�t even know why he
was here, sitting in a dark cinema, watching cheap porn at its worse. He didn�t
even like girls, and the guy wasn�t that much. The only reason he picked this
movie because the guy reminded him of Heero. Well sort of. Kind of. Well... not
at all. It was just a lousy excuse to make him feel better about coming here.

n stn style='font-size:10.0pt;
font-family:Verdana;mso-bidi-font-family:Verdana'>After hours of just wandering
down the streets, his legs just carried him in here without his mind having a
say in it. For nearly tw-fou-four hours he was doing nothing but walking or
driving. At first, he drove. He drove and drove for hours, having no real
direction. He just needed to feel the car moving, faster and faster, his leg
pressing on the gas and the engine roaring.

He ended up in this city,
about a few hundred kilometers from where he and Heero lived.

Heero... he wondered if he
was okay now. He was crying real hard when he left. He hoped that Sally and
Chang managed to calm him. And considering how easily distracted Heero was, he
had nothing to worry about. Heero probably forgot all about it by now...

Duo shifted in his seat,
suddenly feeling a little uncomfortable, like his body knew that he was trying
to fool himself.

Heero was probably not okay.
He was probably hurt. Hurt by him. But then again... hurting is the only thing
he knew when it came to Heero. He always managed to somehow hurt the boy, even
if he didn�t mean it. Heero was just so naïve... he never understood... how
could he understand? He didn�t understand a thing.

And neither did Duo.

Everything was just so
confusing right now... for four months he had been waiting for Heero to miraculously
come back to him, but it never happened. It never will happen. He knew
that, but he just couldn�t accept it. He couldn't accept a life with a person
who is so different from the man he fell in love with... He just couldn�t. He
wanted his Heero, the �Old Heero� to come back to him. He couldn�t settle for
any less.

Heero was just a child. How
can he love a child? How can he keep on living with someone who acted so
different from his age? So far from the person he used to know, and love...

�OH! AH! OH GOD! OH GOD!
HARDER! YES! AH! HARDER! OH GODS! HARDER CHARELY! YESSS!!!!�

//�Why are you watching this
crap?�

At the sound of the annoyed
voiced, Duo rolled his eyes and threw the remote control away. �Because there�s
nothing better to watch!� He snarled, already knowing where this conversation
was going.

�Hn. How about doing
something productive for a change?� The owner of the nearly monotone voice
snarled back as he sat down on the couch, cobalt blue eyes glaring Duo to
death.

Duo snorted and looked away,
shifting his gaze back to the television, watching as the figures fucked
on-screen, the bed rocking and the cameraman�s reflection on the mirror behind
them. He sighed, feeling the same old anger rise inside him whenever this kind
of conversation rose.

�If you�re referring to the
winter modifications on my Gundam, it�s done.� He spat, not taking his angry
eyes off the TV. But he could feel the surprised look the other boy was giving
him; his mouth slightly gaped as he stared at him with his stunned blue eyes.
This kind of reaction only served to anger him more.

�Stop acting so surprised!�
He burst, jumping out of his seat and whirling around to glare at the boy. �I�m
sick of you treating me like some dumb baby!� He spat in disgust, his eyes
shooting daggers down at the Japanese boy sitting on the sofa.

The boy scowled at him, his
eyes darkening. �Then stop behaving like one.�

�ARGH!� Duo growled, kicking
the sofa in frustration. �Fuck you Heero! Just because I don�t fit into that
perfect little soldier image of yours, doesn�t mean that you should treat me
like any less!�

As the words flew out of his
mouth, so angry and aggravated, Heero�s eyes widened a slight bit, his scowl
disappearing and his features softening.

�I pull my own weight around
here and I get the job done!� Duo raged on, his gaze so intense that it cut
though the air like a sharp knife.

On the sofa, Heero was still
gaping at him, seeming taken back by his outburst. His eyes had a strange look
in them now, and they appeared to be shimmering under the flickering of the
television. It looked like... remorse? Chk! Duo couldn�t care less. Not right
now anyway.

�I do what I have to do, just
like EVERYBODY ELSE! But I do it MY way, Heero! My way! So just accept that and
STOP lecturing me! I am not a child who needs to be rebuked! I�m me and you
better accept that or get the hell outta my sight!� By now, he was panting
hard, his cheeks flushed from his effort. He had shouted so hard, his throat
hurt and his hands felt heavy all of a sudden, for he was flinging them wildly
in the air as he spoke. He let them drop limply down; feeling very tired all of
a sudden. He just stood there, looking down at Heero as he tried to calm his
breathing.

The Japanese boy was sitting
deathly still on the couch, looking up at him with stunned blue eyes. As their
gazes locked, Heero quickly looked away and bowed his head. There was silence
for a long time and only the s of of the cheap porn movie could be heard
around the dark living room.

�I�m sorry.� Heero finally
whispered, slowly lifting his gaze up to look at Duo. His deep blue eyes were
shining in the soft light, looking apologetically up at Duo. �I�m sorry... I
had no right to...� He trailed off and lowered his head again. He took ano
de
deep breath and shook his head weakly. �I apologize.�

Duo sighed, all anger rushing
out of him at once. He threw himself back at the couch. �It�s cool.� He
whispered, looking down at his fidgeting hands.

Again the heavy silence, and
only the moaning and groaning of the movie could be heard.

Duo kept his head facing the
television, but in fact his gaze was turned elsewhere. He could not bring
himself to ignore the heat emitting from Heero�s body, for he was sitting so
close. His clean and almost sweet scent was teasing his senses, for the boy had
just stepped out of the shower. Duo watched him from the corner of his eyes,
feeling that powerful feeling inside of him whenever he looked at his comrade.
There was just something about Heero. The way he was always standing proud and
rigid, shoulders upright and his graceful body tense with readiness and
strength. Always the strong soldier.

It was in the way he walked,
the way he talked, the very way he moved about. It was in the way he radiated
power and reassurance wherever he roamed. It was that strength, that power the
surrounded him, which enabled him to give hope to others. To give comfort even
when he didn�t intend to. It was the look in his eyes, that fire that burned
bright within the midnight blue oceans. It was the look in his eyes when they
softened, like they did now, and took Duo�s breath away. It was everything
about the Japanese boy that made Duo whimper in a desperate need for contact.

But he never dared initiating
that contact. He could look but he couldn�t touch. He had worked so hard to
gain Heero�s friendship, and he wasn�t about to scare him off with his silly
hormone-raging ideas. Look but never touch. Never touch.

Sighing, Duo shook his head
slightly and turned back to the television, when the hot sex scene was now
taking place somewhere else. The moans and groans grew louder, and Duo could
have sworn that he heard Heero sigh in irritation, as if bothered by it.

The Japanese boy dared a peek
up through messy bangs, but quickly looked away from the television, his face
slightly blushed. He turned to face Duo, but kept his head bowed a bit in a shy
manner. �Can you at least change the channel?�

�Heh...� Duo let out, touched
by Heero�s shyness. �Now who�s the child?� He teased, smirking at Heero�s face.

The Japanese boy rolled his
eyes and snorted. �Baka. I want to see the news.�

Duo�s smirk didn�t waver and
he reached for the remote control, turning to face the television.//

�Ah! God! Oh Charley! GODS!
MORE! OH GODS! MORE! AH! HARDER! AH! AHHHH!!!!�

Shaking his head in
amusement, Duo smiled sadly and looked away from the large cinema screen.
�Sure...� He whispered, remembering Heero�s blushed cheeks. His smile quickly
disappearing, Duo got up and walked out of the cinema. �Just a child...�

*   *   *

�Heero, can you turn off the
television before you go to bed?� Sally�s voice asked softly as she stood in
the bottom of the stairway, looking ahead at the living room, where Heero sat.

�Okay.� The Japanese boy
answered quietly, not looking away from the television set.

Sally smiled and nodded in
thanks. She prepared to go up the stairs, but then stopped and turned to face
the living room again. �Do you need any help tucking in?�

This time, Heero did look up,
his features a bit angered. He looked up at Sally for the longest of time, his
gaze fierce and penetrating, before he finally shook his head. �I can...
alone.�

Releasing the breath she
didn�t realize she had been holding, Sally forced her numb body to move and
nodded. �I understand. Goodnight then, Heero.� She said quietly, feeling a
little uncomfortable all of a sudden. She began climbing up the stairs.

�Sally-san?�

At the sound of Heero�s
hesitant voice, the Chinese woman stopped and slowly turned around to face him.
�Yes, Heero?�

The Japanese boy was silent
for a few moments, looking a little unsure of himself, before finally taking a
deep breath and speaking. �I know things, even if it�s hard to say.�

She felt a painful sting in
her heart, but somehow managed to nod and offer a kind little smile. �I know, Heero.�

Heero smiled back, a sad
little smile, his blue eyes shimmering under the soft light of the living room.
He looked like he was about to say something more, but then probably thought
twice about it and turned his gaze away, back to the television.

Sighing, Sally shook her head
sadly and climbed up the stairs.

Heero remained seated in the
dim living room, the television mute, its soft light flickering in the darkness
of the large room. But his blue eyes were not watching what was displayed to
him. His vision was too blurry to watch, the cobalt eyes glazed over with tears
as he sat there, crying silently. Shiny silver trails slid slowly down his
cheeks and he sniffled silently, one hand holding the remote, the other
clutched around Yoshi�s little hand, as the bear sat beside him.

�I know things, Duo-chan... I
know things...�

*   *   *

�Is he finally asleep?� Chang
asked as his wife entered the bedroom. He was lying on the bed, his reading
glasses on and a book in his hand.

�No.� Sally answered with a
sigh, closing the door behind her. �He�s really upset. Did you notice? He
didn�t even touch his dinner...� She muttered, walking over to the bed and lay
by her husband.

�I can�t blame him.� Wufei
sighed, putting the book down.

�Yeah...� His wife let out
with a sigh, settling herself under the covers and then laying two hands on he
lap. She sighed again. �But he�s too thin. It�s not healthy for him. I think I
should put him on a special diet, help him gain some more weight.�

�Humph, what he needs now is
Maxwell, not food.� Wufei growled, his fists clenching. �That idiot is too
wrapped up in his own pain, that he fails to see anything BUT that. Ch! I never
expected him to be so weak.�

Sally sighed. Normally, she
would have reprimanded him for saying such a thing, but right now, she couldn�t
agree more. As much as she loved and cared for Duo, she had expected him to be
a little more responsible and deal with his problems properly. How come he
couldn�t see how much progress Heero was making? Was he so blind that he didn�t
see how much the boy loved him? How much he depended on him? How he tried hard
and pushed himself to the limit just for him?

Everything that Heero
displayed, his determination, his obligation and devotion, his sheer will power
and endurance,
were all qualities the �Old Heero�, as Duo often put it, had possessed. As a
person, he was no different than the Heero Yuy she met four years ago.

She just hoped that Duo will
make the right decision, and will be able to make it back in time, before the
damage was too great.

Wufei sighed and put his
glasses away on the nightstand, before turning off the night lamp. Sighing
heavily, he turned to lie on his side and prepared to sleep. �I swear I�ll
punch that idiot in the face the minute he comes back!�

Sally sighed, lying down as
well. �Yeah... if he�ll come back...�

*   *   *

�I made pancakes today.�
Heero whispered as he rolled over in his bed, pulling the blanket up to cover
himself. He turned on the small light Sally had given him, and then lay down on
his back, in the middle of the double bed. It was a big bed, and he didn�t
remember ever sleeping in such a big bed before. It just didn�t make sense. Why
sleep in such a big bed if you�re all alone? Sally and Chang�s bed was big and
they slept together. But then again, Duo-chan�s bed was big, and he was alone
at night, so maybe it was okay? He wasn�t sure...

Sighing, Heero shook his head
and decided to think about that later. His blue eyes shone under the soft
moonlight that filtered through the window, as he looked up at the skies. He
smiled a little, gazing up at the dark heavens. �They didn�t come out so good,
I think, but Sasayssays I can do better when I try.� He explained, shifting a
little on the bed, bringing closer, but not shifting his gaze down from the
window. �I think if I learn a lot of times, I can make you better ones, ne,
Duo-chan?� He smiled sadly, feeling that heavy and hot feeling in his chest
that usually came with the tears that filled his eyes. �I make you pancakes
when you come back, ne Duo-chan? Ne? I promise they be better ones...�

There was no answer, of
course, and only the stars were witnesses to his little monologue. He watched
the stars twinkle up in the dark skies, and thought that they looked less
cheery than usual. They weren�t as bright. In his bedroom, at home, when he
looked outside, they were ALWAYS bright. Some of them even moved a little in
the skies. The TV said that they were shooting stars, but Duo-chan said that
they could be satellites or even colonies. He didn�t remember ever being in a
colony, but Duo-chan said that the �Old Heero� was from there. He hoped that
Duo-chan will take him there one day, so he can see them for himself. He
thought it might be cool to see space, just like the �Old Heero� did...

Sighing, he turned to lie on
his side, hugging Yoshi close. He turned his gaze up at the skies again. �Sally
teached me how to close the buttons too.� He whispered, looking down briefly.
�It�s kinda hard, but I think that I learned it okay...� He let out, reaching
up a hand to wipe the tears away. �She�s a very good teacher...� He mumbled but
then suddenly felt as if he had said something bad, and he jerked his head up
at the skies, tearful eyes looking up apologetically at the heavens. �But I
don�t mean that you�re not good, Duo-chan! I know you�re good! You�re good!� He
assured him, trying to offer a reassuring smile, but he was too sad to smile,
so it faltered.

Sighing, he let his gaze down
sadly. �I just have to try harder... I try until you come back... okay?�

He looked up at the skies,
but the dark infinity offered him no answer. He sighed and bowed his head
again, his fingers unconsciously caressing Yoshi�s soft fur, seeking the
familiar comfort of his one true friend. He had thought about leaving Yoshi
somewhere before going to sleep, like he tried the previous night, but it just
didn�t feel right. Duo-chan ALWAYS said that he shouldn�t sleep with Yoshi,
because it was not right for someone as big as him, but he couldn�t bear the
thought of being alone in the room, in such a big house, where EVERYBODY was in
the floor above him. At home, Duo-chan was always across the hall and he knew
that if he dreamt about the Bad Man and his Hands, that he could go to his
room. Sometimes Duo-chan got mad when he did, but most of the time he helped
him feel better. But now Duo-chan wasn�t here, and he only had Yoshi. He knew
that it was bad for him to sleep with his bear, and that Duo-chan would NEVER
come back if he still had it, but he couldn�t let go just like that. He had to
try harder.

�I�m sorry...� He whispered,
sniffling. He curled into a fetal position, hugging Yoshi tightly and burying
his head in the soft fur. �I�ll try harder... I try again harder...� He
promised, lifting his gaze up to look at the heavens, two silver trails running
down his cheeks. He watched the stars twinkle, and thought that they looked
like they were crying. He wondered if Duo-chan was crying too. Or maybe he was
smiling now, because he wasn�t there anymore?

Whimpering, Heero forced
himself to stop crying and wiped the tears away quickly. It took his some time
to calm his quiet sobs, and he sniffled a couple of more times before looking
up at the window again.

�They said... on TV... they
said that in the other side of the world, it�s morning now...� He whispered,
tearful eyes looking up uncertainly at the window. �Sally says that she doesn�t
know how far you goed, so... so I don�t know if it�s morning or... or maybe
night, but...� He took a deep breath, drawing Yoshi closer to him, eyes
shimmering with uncertainty. �I... I don�t really know... maybe they sleep in
morning there? I�m not sure... so... I...� He sniffled and hurried to wipe the
tears before he looked up at the skies again. �Oyasumi, Duo-chan. I... Yoshi
say goodnight too, but you don�t like him very much, so... I... uh...� He
sniffled and shook his head, forcing himself to sound composed. �You say to
sleep tight and not let the bed bugs bite...� He chuckled sadly at the memory,
but it only made the pain in his chest return. He whimpered sadly and buried
his face in the covers, curling even more into a human ball, hugging Yoshi
tightly. �Oyasumi... I hope that the bed don�t bite where you are, Duo-chan...
I hope... you�re okay... and... that... maybe you smile..? I hope...� He cried
silently in the darkness, looking up at the twinkling stars, tears flowing out
like silver waterfall, glistering under the moonlight. �I hope you be back
soon... and...� He whispered, turning to bury his head in the pillow as he
hugged Yoshi close. �I hope... I hope I make you smile...� He wished silently
into the pillow, crying until sleep engulfed him.

*   *   *

In a dark motel room, a pair
of dark and bitter violet eyes rested numbly on a dark figure standing by the
window. The eyes watched in a detached and cold manner as the silhouette,
illuminated only by pale moonlight, slowly moved, getting dressed. They
followed each of its hasty movements, tracing the figure�s outlines as it
moved. It was a silhouette of a rather short and slender figure, which had quite
a feminine look to it, but it was clearly male. His face was hidden in the
shadows, and his hair, messily cropped bangs that ran jaggedly over his
forehead, jumped up and down as the figure moved against the window.

The figure quickly got
dressed, and then straightened up, quickly running a hand through his hair,
before stashing a stack on money into his pocket.

The violet eyes didn�t even
bother to follow the figure as he exited the room in a rush.

The door was closed silently
and the eyes remained focused on the window. They watched the city lights
sparkle outside the window, the light reflected in the dull and numb eyes.

Sheets rustled as Duo slowly
turned to lie on his side, facing the window. He sent a quick look at the
floor, not even bothering to count the amount of liquor bottles littering it.
He sighed heavily and turned his gaze up to the window, watching the dark
heavens that stood high above the city scrapers.

The violet eyes slowly closed
as Duo looked away. He sighed heavily and nestled himself into the covers,
bringing the pillow down and hugging it. He was lying on the edge of the large
bed, refusing to look back and see how empty and big the bed really was. As
sleep slowly came, he opened his eyes and looked up at the window again. His eyes
studied the sparkling stars, his vision slowly blurring from tears.

�Can you see it, Heero?� He
whispered, his eyes shimmering sadly. �The stars look sadder tonight...�

*   *   *

SQUASH!

One pea.

SQUASH!

Two peas.

SQUASH!

He hated peas.

SQUASH!

He hated green.

SQUASH!

He hated everything here.

SQUASH!

He wanted to go home.

SQUASH!

He wanted Duo to take him
home.

SQUASH!

Duo wasn�t coming home.

SQUASH!!!!

�How was work?� Sally�s voice
asked kindly and Heero looked up from his plate. They were all sitting around
the dinner table, having their supper. Sally and Chang were sitting close on
one side, and Heero was sitting across of them, next to Meiran, who sat in her
special baby chair. She had her plastic plate in front of her, and was
currently busy in making a mess out of her food. She got the table all dirty,
and managed to throw some food Heero�s way too. She got his shirt dirty too and
he glared at her for it, though she didn�t seem to notice.

Heero sighed and looked away,
shifting his gaze up at the couple sitting across the table.

�It was all right.� Wufei
answered with a sigh, lifting the fork up to his mouth. �That Johnson fellow
gave me a little trouble as usual, so I finally demoted him.�

Heero�s eyes narrowed in
concentration. De...mo...ted? What was that?

�Oh, that�s not very nice.�
Sally commented.

Whatever it was, it was
probably bad, Heero decided. He sighed and turned back to his plate. There
wasn�t much point to keep up with a conversation that he didn�t understand.
Usually, he would have asked what a word meant, but he didn�t see the point in
it anymore. It didn�t matter anymore.

SQUASH!

Nothing mattered anymore.

�Yeah, well, he was quite a
troublesome agent, but no one bothered to do anything but complain. I know that
Maxwell was planning on sending him off on �extended leave�, but he�s not here
to do it now is he?�

SQUASH!

No, Duo-chan wasn�t here to
see or do anything, so why should ANYTHING matter?

Sally sighed. �I see...� She
let out, sending a worried glance over to Heero.

Wufei sighed again and put
down his drink. �Ch! That asshole really ticked me off today... he had some nerve
that one!�

�Uh huh...� Sally mumbled,
not really listening. She was too busy studying the silent Japanese boy who was
sitting across of her. Heero was awfully quiet lately. Usually he would have
tried to join the conversation, or at least pay attention to it, but in the
last few days Heero had been dreadfully quiet. Much like the days during the war. He was
merely sitting there, his head bowed, his face obstructed by his messily
cropped bangs, and he was playing with his food instead of eating it.

�Heero?� She called out
softly, her blue eyes worried, but the boy did not respond.

�...and Une says that if we
won�t do it by TOMORROW night, then the RK committee is going to be on our
necks, and then we�ll--hey!� Wufei stopped in mid-sentence, calling out in
surprise as he felt his wife nudge him with her foot. He whirled around to
glare at her. �What was that for, woman?!�

Sally glared back, her gaze
intense.

Wufei swallowed. �...what?!�

Sighing, Sally shook her head
in disappointment. She then looked up fiercely at her husband and gestured at
Heero with head.�Huh?� Wufei let out,
confused, and turned to look at the boy as well. He frowned when he saw that
Heero wasn�t paying much attention, and he was sitting there quietly, head
bowed and that his shoulders slumped, his whole demeanor solemn. Sighing, the
Chinese man cast his gaze down briefly, and took a deep breath. When he felt
his wife nudge him again, more forcefully this time, he looked back up at the
boy.

�Heero, uh... um... How--how
was your day?� He finally stammered, feeling Sally�s glare disappeared and he
allowed himself to breathe.

Cobalt blue eyes widened in
shock and Heero�s head jerked up in surprise. �Huh?� He asked dumbly, gaping at
the man.

Wufei smiled kindly at him.
�Your day, how was it?�

�Oh, uh...� Heero stammered,
looking around uncertainly. He looked down at his food and then shrugged.
�Okay.�

Silence fell over the dinner
table as no one had any idea what to say next.

Wufei was about to give up
and return to his meal, when Sally kicked him again, her gaze reprimanding. He
sighed and looked up at Heero again. �So, uh... what... what did you do today?�

To say that Heero was
surprised would have been an understatement. The boy didn�t remember anyone
EVER asking him about his day. Usually he heard the other �grown-ups� ask these
questions, but he was never asked them.

Now feeling a little better,
Heero smiled and looked up at Wufei, his blue eyes shining with a new light.
�I... I went outside, with... with Meiran. We went to the park.� He answered
with pride, happy to be able to tell someone about his day, especially because
he felt proud for going outside all on his own. Sally had suggested that he
would take Meiran to the playground in the nearby park. It wasn�t so far away,
but Heero was glad to be out of the house for a change, and more than that- to
have someone put so much trust in him and let him take Meiran.

�Oh.� Chang finally let out,
looking thoughtful as he reached for his drink. �You went alone? � He asked
calmly, sipping his drink.

�Hai.� Heero answered with a
smile, nodding his head in affirmative.

But Wufei didn�t look so
happy or calm all of a sudden. Quite the contrary, he nearly choked on his own
drink. �Wow. You let him go all by himself?� He called in surprise, turning to
face Sally.

The woman frowned, unsure
what he meant by that, but before she could open her mouth and say something,
Heero threw his chair back and got up.

�Yes she did!� He called
angrily, glaring down at Wufei. �She did and we played on the swings and
NOTHING happened! I can do things too!� He growled, stomping his foot on the
floor. �I can!� He spat into their stunned faces, his eyes burning with an
angry blue fire. �I can too!� He yelled one last time before whirling around
and running to his room.

The guest room�s door was
slammed forcefully shut, the sound echoing throughout the house.

Silence fell over the dinning
room as both Chang and Sally looked down sorrowfully at their hands.

Only Meiran�s sounds of joy
were to be heard, as the infant threw her food all over the place and then
proceeded with messing with Heero�s plate.

Sally sighed heavily, and
looked up sorrowfully at her husband. Her face turned compassionate the minute
she registered how upset her husband was. His fists were clenched; his knuckles
white, his jaw tense and his dark eyes shining with barely suppressed anger.
Anger that she knew was directed at himself.

Sighing sadly, the young
woman turned to clear the table, sadly musing that as time went by, the smiles
seemed to fade from everybody�s faces...

*   *   *

He walked down the streets of
the city, keeping his gaze on the ground, his hands in his pockets and letting
his legs carry him wherever they wished to go. He had no real direction, and he
found it funny in some way that he was lost in both body and mind.

Two weeks of wandering down
these streets still didn�t help him find the magical solution he had gone out
to seek. His questions were still unanswered and his heart was lost as it had
been for the longest of time. He didn�t even know if he loved Heero anymore. He
wasn�t sure. And if he did love Heero, which Heero was it? The old one? The
he
he used to know during the war, the one he dreamed of during his seemingly
endless search? Was it the boy he had found, that innocent and gentle soul who
managed to touch his heart somehow?

Or were they both the same
person? Were they both Heero? His Heero?

Maybe he never loved Heero in
the first place. Maybe it was just a teenage crush? Maybe it was his looks he
was after? That foolish thought of making Heero�s strength his? So many doubts
were suddenly rising in him... he had never doubted his love for Heero, but now...
now it was different.

He didn�t know who Heero was
anymore.

Was he the same? Did he want
the same things the �Old Heero� did? Did he feel the same way he did? Did they
think the same way? Did they act the same? Were they the same?

He just didn�t know.

The laughter of children made
Duo pause his walking, and he looked up, dark violet eyes searching for the
source of happiness. He
noticed that he had reached the more prosperous side of town, and that across the road was a
beautiful green park. Small children were playing around every tree and
coroner, running along the grassy planes and amusing themselves in a huge
playground. Families were walking down the small paths around the park, mothers
and their babies, proud fathers and their sons.

Duo sighed and cast his gaze down, his heart bleeding just
for watching those people.

But the laughter of children was a constant tease. He
could feel their smiling faces; see their eyes sparkle with laughter even if he
wasn�t watching them.

�...Hee... Heero...� The boy finally managed to breathe
out, completely out of breath. �...where?�

�D-Duo...� Sally stuttered, slowly getting up. �How...
wh-why... you...� She began as she slowly approached him, her gaze still
confused. But after the shock quickly cleared away, her stunned features became
angered and she glared at the boy. �What makes you think I�m going to let you
see him!?� She demanded angrily, coming to stand in front of the boy, looking
him down with her angry blue eyes. �I should slap you for what you did!� She
shouted, raising her hand up to do as she just promised.

Duo�s hand stopped her before she could do so. He closed
his fist around her wrist, glaring up at her with his intense violet eyes.

�Maxwell!� Wufei called harshly, getting up quickly.

Duo�s eyes continued to look up at her sternly as he
slowly released her wrist. �You can yell at me all you want later.� He hissed,
nearly growling. �Right now, I want to see Heero.� With that said, he quickly
pushed past her and made his way to the guest room.

�Wha...� Sally let out, taken ab She She slowly turned
around to look at Duo�s retreating form, her mouth hanging open in shock. She
turned to look at her husband, who was equally confused. He could offer her
nothing but a shaking of his head and a quiet mutter of curses.

Sally sighed and shook her head as well, looking down at
the pamphlets scattered on the dinning table. �Well, I guess these are not of
any use now...�

*
*   *

He entered the room silently, opening the door slowly and
then carefully closing it behind him. He took a deep breath before turning to
face away from the door, and frowned when he registered that the room was
completely dark. His violet eyes narrowing, Duo took a few steps into the room,
waiting for his vision to adjust to the dim moonlight that filtered through the
drapes.

�Heero?� He whispered, his voice so hoarse, that even he
recognized it. He had run for miles down the empty highway, his breath frantic,
hurting his lungs and throat. He must have run for a few good hours before he
decided to try and hitch a ride. Of course, no one wanted to deal with a
homeless looking drunk like himself, but after waving, shouting, cursing and
threatening to kill a few drivers, Duo got himself a ride. He was still
breathless when he arrived here, his body was sore and his head throbbing
painfully, but it didn�t matter. It didn�t matter because he was here to see
Heero. A real, alive, flesh and blood Heero.

Duo took another shaky step forward, and tried again.
�Heero?�

He could hear sheets rustle, and he turned in the
direction of the sound. Someone moaned silently in the darkness of the room and
Duo�s heart fluttered at the soft sound. How he missed that voice!

�Heero.� Duo whispered, feeling his way towards the bed,
fingers brushing against the warm and tangled sheets.
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Born Again