Running Out Of Tomorrows
part 7
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OUT OF TOMORROWS
SEVEN
* * *
The constant humming of
traffic was cut off by a few distant car-horns here and there. The roads were
packed with cars and the traffic jams seemed to stretch on forever. At times
like this, the drivers of L1-39512140 cursed the government for expanding the
colony and opening it for new citizens. It only made the luxurious colony an
even more desirable place to live in, which meant more buildings, less parks
and more cars on the roads. But new arrivals to the colony meant more tax money
coming in, and the profits were surely showing around the L1 cluster. Tall and
shiny buildings towered over beautiful avenues, their huge mirror-glass windows
reflecting the streets and the passing traffic. Green parks with lush trees and
vegetation decorated every block, their trails filled with passer-bys.
It was a quiet afternoon as
always, and the large clock in the colony’s main square pointed three o’ clock,
bells ringing to announce the time. The streets were mostly empty. Here and
there a few people in office suits were rushing up and down the sidewalks,
carrying their lunch and hurrying back to work. Some teens were hanging-out in
groups by the large shopping centers, and some were watching the giant plasma
screen that flashed various commercials. The green parks were filled with
mothers walking with their young children, people walking their pets and groups
of elderly people playing chess on a bench under a tree.
As the long rows of waiting
cars continued honking,
a lone pair of bicycles cut through the crowded road, streaking quickly between
the jammed cars. Pedals working hard and the wheels spinning like crazy, the
pair of bikes sped down the road, the rattling sound of the wheels mocking the
waiting drivers as the bicycles whizzed by. The rider’s small backpack flew up
and down as he sped down the road; its zipper half open, showing the tip of a
bottle of mineral water, lettuce and a baguette.
pt'>Having no more room to maneuver between the cars, the
bike-rider moved away from the road and jumped with his bike to the pavement.
He rode between the various pedestrians, making sure to avoid any accident,
even if he was riding fast. His dark hair was flapping in the strong wind
caused by his riding, dark brown bangs swinging left and right, hitting his
face and going into his dark blue eyes. Nevertheless, the midnight blue orbs
were fierce and bright, a blazing blue fire burning bright inside deep blue
pools that were looking ahead with a glint of a smile in them.
It was kind of odd seeing such a young man dressed in an
office suit while riding a bike. His appearance was neat but yet untidy at the
same time. His unruly hair was flapping in the wind, as was his tie, which was
flapping in all directions, and his backpack was bouncing up and down as he
rode. Most people didn’t spare more than a short glance towards the young
rider, and those who did notice, could do nothing but awa away and shrug at
the short glimpse of his stern face. But to anyone who knew him well enough, it
was well obvious that Heero Yuy was in a good mood. His features might have
looked stern and focused, but his eyes spoke volumes as they glistered with
delight and content.
He wasn’t sure why he was so happy, or why he was so eager
to get home. Whad had been as boring as usual, though nothing overly annoying
had happened. Also, after sitting iont ont of a computer all day, in a crowded
and stuffy office, the young Japanese man was more than happy to be out in the
fresh air, riding as freely as the wind. Streaking past the streets felt even
better than flying, and the world was a colorful blur of bright colors dancing
around him. The air was warm and sweet, carrying the scent of flowers. It was
almost like springtime on Earth. The air on L1 always reminded him of Earth,
whias oas one of the main reasons why he chose to stay there.
He was reciting an old tune in his head as he rode, a tune
he had carried with him ever since a long stay at some dorm on Earth, together
with a lively boy with dancing violet eyes. He was in a cheerful mood for the
first time in a long while. The feeling was warm and tingly and he didn’t want
it to stop. Ever.
He smiled secretly to himself while passing through the
park, inhaling the sweet air that rushed past him. His smile grew by a few
millimeters as he sped by a hot-dog stand, merely catching a short glimpse of
it. But it was enough to make him smile. Chairu would love the meal he bought
for him today. He hated the thought of having meat around him, let alone
carrying it in his bag along with his other groceries, but if it will make
Chairu happy, than it was well worth the effort. He had nothing better to do
with the money he earned anyway. He hated spoiling himself by buying things he
really didn’ed. ed. However, spoiling Chairu... that was a totally different
matter. It made him smile again just by thinking of it. He wanted to make
Chairu happy. He needed to make him happy. He needed to make someone
happy. Anyone, as long as he will have someone. And Chairu was the answer to
his prayers. He couldn’t wait to give him the sausages he had bought.
With that thought in his head, Heero increased his speed
and rode faster, his bike rattling as he sped over the gravel road in the park.
His block was right behind the small park, and he could already see his
apartment building towering behind a few other shiny buildings. He gave neither
thought nor effort as he sped along the park, taking his hands off the steering
handles and reaching for his backpack. He pulled out the bottle of mineral water
and took a few sips, keeping perfect balance on his bike. He was suddenly
filled with the sense of thrill, and he spread his hands aside like an eagle,
threw his head back and closed his eyes. A wide smile spread on his handsome
features as he was washed with the sense of utter bliss. For a short period of
about three point four seconds, Heero Yuy was truly, utterly, most definitely
happy with the world.
font-family:Verdana'>Unfortunately, the feeling was very short-lived. No sooner
than he threw his head back and smiled at the world, it came. A powerful attack
of blistering pain cut through him like thousands of knifes. His eyes opened
wide and his mouth opened in a silent gasp of pain. The midnight blue pools
were flooded with tears and a hint of panic flashed through them like
lightning. He lost control of his bike, after losing his balance due to the
extreme pain, which was coming from the pit of his stomach. He gasped loudly
for air, his eyes wide and unblinking. As he began to tumble to the ground, the
world moving in slow motion, his fist curled around the bottle he was holding,
crushing it tightly in a fit of pain.
His body crashed to the ground, bouncing once and then
crashing down again. The bag fell down as well, the groceries scattering on the
ground. His eyes were wide with pain and shock, and he watched numbly as his
arm dropped limply to his side, still clutching the squashed bottle. A
lightning storm of pain flashed in his entire body and his hand clenched
tighter around the bottle, breaking it until water splashed all over him.
As'>As he lay in a pool of muddy water, another fit of pain
struck him. He convulsed wildly on the muddy ground, letting out short gasps of
pain. A dim and distant thought slowly crawled through his mind: Chairu will
not be getting his treat tonight. After that, there was no more thinking for
him, as another blazing attack burned his body to a crisp, and without even
knowing, he began to scream.
*
* *
“Ah-ah—AHHHH!!! AHHHHHH!!!!”
“Heero!”
A trembling hand clenched tightly around another hand which
was quivering and sweating under the pain.
“AHHHH!! ARGH!!”
“HEERO!”
The stronger hand held on tightly onto the trembling one,
as if trying to lend it its strength. Pale and bony fingers curled tightly
around the healthier hand, and the said hand loosened its grip by a slight bit,
as if afraid to break the frail fingers. But the delicate hand only tightened
its hold on strostronger one, long digits, which seemed so thin and feeble,
holding on with a crushing grip.
“M-m-mou......... onegai............ mou... ahh... ARGH!!”
The hand clenched and unclenched, shaking so hard until it
was let loose of the other hand’s hold. A silent and helpless whimper, followed
by a few painful sobs, cut through the air and straight into Duo’s heart. He
reached both his hands up, trying to get hold of the trembling hand, which was
looking for something to hold onto.
Another heartrending whimper escaped Heero’s lips as Duo
took hold of his hand. He turned his head towards the young man, his gaze
desperate and miserable. His blue eyes shone with tears of pain, the silvery
trails leaking down his pale and haggard features. His gaze, although glazed
and unfocused, pierced straight into Duo’s eyes, pleading him silently.
“......... onegai.........”
Tears filled Duo’s eyes at the sound of Heero’s weak and
pain-filled voice. He made no effort to wipe them away, unwilling to let go of
Heero’s quivering hand. He looked into the tormented eyes for what seemed like
a lifetime, until Heero’s eyes clenched tightly shut, another wave of pain
hitting the young Asian man. His body shook on the creaking bed and his head
trashed from side to side. He was crying silently, the tears lingering to his
dark eyelashes. His delicate hand was covered with sweat, as was his face. His
breathing shortened as the pain intensified, and his body stiffened to a point
that his back was arched off the bed and his body locked in place so it
couldn’t move.
“...Duo...” A desperate whisper, another plea and a last
attempt at asking for salvation. Heero’s strength was leaving him, but his body
refused to just shut down and rest. His hold on Duo’s hand tightened again and
he slowly opened his eyes, managing to move his eyelids only halfway.
There was no more need for words. One look into Heero’s
eyes and Duo knew what he had to do. With a heavy heart, he let go of Heero’s
hand, his features stony and his gaze sad. He took a deep breath and reached
down carefully, brushing a few sweaty bangs out of Heero’s eyes. He tucked them
behind his ears, his fingers lingering onto the sweaty skin for a while longer,
just feeling the heatthe tendtender skin. Heero’s gaze was on him the whole
time, silently waiting as more tears streamed down his cheeks. He was panting
quietly, his breathing shallow. His mouth was slightly open in the effort of
drawing in some air.
“Shh...” Duo soothed him gently, caressing his face
gently, starting from his forehead and down to his cheeks, wiping away his
tears. “Shhh...”
“...please...” Heero begged again, his expression torment.
“I have to...” He coughed and moaned miserably, looking away briefly. “I have
to... feed...”
“Shhh...” Duo soothed again, his fingers slowly making
their way to Heero’s dry and cracked lips. “Shh, Heero, shh...” He whispered as
he brushed the tip of his finger over the delicate lips. “Close your eyes.” He
asked silently, looking into the Heero’s pain-filled eyes. “Just close them.”
He asked again, waiting until Heero did just that. When the ocean blue orbs
finally disappeared behind heavy eyelids, Duo took another deep breath,
preparing himself. He placed his palm over Heero’s mouth and nose, his hand
slightly trembling as he moved it.
“Oyasumi.” He whispered with a trembling voice, a few fat
and salty droplets falling onto his palm as he pressed it hard against Heero’s
mouth. He could feel the young man tense and then his eyes opened, looking at
him calmly. He could see the thankful look in Heero’s pain-clouded eyes, and he
somehow managed to smile at him. The blue eyes slowly closed again and Duo
pressed his hand tighter against Heero’s mouth and nose, cutting out all the
airways. Heero didn’t even flinch, in fact, he stopped his breath purposely.
Duo counted ninety seconds and then slowly retrieved his hand.
Heero didn’t move, lying unconscious on the bed. Duo didn’t
allow himself to breathe until he checked for o’s o’s breath. Only after he
made sure that the young Japanese man was breathing did he allow himself to
relax. He took a deep breath and leaned back in his r, cr, covering his face
with both hands. His back began trembling as he cried silently into his hands,
while his best friend and true love lay unconscious on the bed, an expression
of thanks and bliss on his haggard face.
* “Fuck.” “ARGH!” “Shit! God damn it! I’m sorry!” The sound of panting filled the darrm rrm room. It was Bloodied bandages covered the floor een een the two beds “Fuck, Heero, it looks real bad.” Duo whispered in sorrow, On the bed, Heero panted heavily, his blue eyes glazed “Ju-jusssssst...... j-just t-take it out......” He let out Holding up a small surgeon knife, Duo poked a nasty bullet Heero didn’t seem to have heard him, for he just kept “You gotta be shittin’ me!” Duo exclaimed, his fear and The injured boy took a deepng, ng, breath and then turned “You fucking ass!” Duo burst all of a sudden, all his “...D-Duo... sh-shut... up...”
* *
late at night and the room was silent except for the panting and Duo’s silent
cursing. The smell of blood, sweat, gunpowder and soot filled the stuffy room.
The air was thick and nauseating, and even the air coming from the large window
was unable to aid with getting rid of the smell. The half-moon that shone
outside the dorm’s window was the only witness to what was happening in the
small room. It was the only one to see the two fifteen-year-old boys occupying
roo room, and it was the only one to see their distress.
in the room. Medical supplies were lying scattered at the foot of one bed. On
the same bed, lay Heero, shirtless, bleeding an a l a lot of pain. Next to him,
kneeling by the bed and nauseous from worry, was Duo. He was bent over his
comrade, trying desperately to see something under the weak light provided by
two desk-lamps, which were both aimed at Heero’s midsection.
his face pale from worry and fear. “I think I just shoved it deeper.”
with pain and fever. Sweat trickled down his temples and onto the pillow,
mingling with a few tears that escaped the teen’s eyes. He took a deep and
shallow breath, trying to control the pain before speaking.
in a painful moan, and then turned his head aside, closing his eyes in pain.
wound in Heero’s right side, just above the waist. k, Hk, Heero, I don’t think
I can. I think I shoved it deeper into your kidney. It went too deep.”
panting silently, but after a while, his weak voice broke the heavy silence.
“B-ba-baka...... u-use the b-bigger knife......”
concern clear in his voice. “What do I look like?! A fucking surgeon?!”
to face him. His features were pale and sweaty, but his eyes were fierce and
demanding as ever. “Duo,” He began in a harsh voice, but then he had to take a
break in order to breathe. “The bullet...
it’s been t-there for......... for three d-days....” He blinked
sleepily, trying to remain conscious. “You................. have to... you have
to take it......... out...........”
worry turning into burning anger. He didn’t know what to do with worry, but
anger he knew well and so he could handle it. “If you haven’t insisted on
finishing the mission—”
your life! Just listen!”
“...Duo...”
“For fuck sake- you listen to me Heero Yuy! There are more
important things than a fucking mission! After the shootout, you told me you
were FINE! YOU SAID THAT IT WAS ONLY A FLESH WOUND! You LIED to me
Heero! You fucking lied to a fellow teammate! If you’ve forgotten- then we’re
working on this together! If I’m not your friend then at least I’m your comrade
and we have to work together! That wasn’t a solo mission, Heero, and you lied
to a fellow comrade! Do you understand?! You lied and risked your life! And by
that you risked my life as well and therefore you risked your precious
mission! And why? Because you’re a fucking stubborn son of a bitch! You should
have told me it was bad! You should have fucking told me! But I guess that I
don’t mean that much to you, and that you don’t care about nothing no more, so
I’ll just let you lie here and rot!”
They were silent for a few minutes; just waiting for the
other to say something, do something, anything. Duo’s heart was beating
quickly, threatening to rip his ribcage open. He was lost in the sight of
Heero’s eyes, suddenly forgetting all about their grim situation. He let
himself be pulled deeper and deeper into the blue oceans, certain that he had
seen something, a glimmer, a short spark that marked the presence of a great
treasure somewhere in the dark blue depth. If only he could get deep enough to
find that treasure... that sunken ship lying in the bottom of the dark and cold
depths... if only he could... But something was holding him back. He wasn’t sure
if it was something in those eyes that pushed him away, or something that he
himself was doing in order not to come closer. Who knows, maybe it was both.
“D-do it...” Heero’s pained voice cut into his musings, as
the boy reached up a shaking hand towards his comrade. His hand, weak, sweaty
and pale, took hold of Duo’s stronger hand, as if trying to soothe him. Duo’s
own hand was also shaking from uncertainly and fear. He was finding it hard to
think straight, and he knew that time was running out.
“Heero, the pain alone will kill you.” He finally said,
his voice calm despite his emotional turmoil.
Panting and moaning in pain, Heero turned to look into
Duo’s eyes, letting out a silent whimper before he spoke. “Duo...”
“I’ll screw this up for sure.” He hurried to say, feeling
the dread build up inside of him. “It’s been... it’s been a year since I last
practiced this and I... I don’t have the right tools here... not to mention
anesthesia... Heero... I can’t do this.”
Gazes locked, blue staring into violet and violet at blue,
Heero tightened his hold on Duo’s hand, and nodded his head ever so slightly.
“You can do this.” He whispered with a hoarse voice, his tone strained
pa
pain. “I’m sure you can. I...... Duo... I......” He sighed and looked away, as if
defeated. He took another deep breath and turned back to look into Duo’s
uncertain eyes. “......I’m sure you can.”
Violet eyes filled with tears, glistering under the light
of the small night lamp. For a long while, those eyes just looked down into
Heero’s eyes, searching for a hidden meaning behind the words. After what
seemed like decade, Duo took a deep breath and freed his hand from Heero’s
hold. “All right. But I’m gonna put you to sleep first.” He said in a ‘no
arguments’ tone, straightening on his knees and reaching up a hand to Heero’s
mouth.
Glazed blue eyes blinked in confusion, but as Duo’s palm
settled over his mouth and nose, he nodded in understanding. Slowly, he closed
his eyes, bef before looking into Duo’s determined eyes one last time. He let
hind dnd drift as he held his breath, and Duo’s hand pressed against his
airways. Slowly, the world faded away, but he knew in his heart, he was sure
beyond a shadow of a doubt, that Duo will save his life. Fate was not so cruel
that it will let the love of his life, the only person he had ever loved, to
kill him this night. Surely fate was not that cruel. He was sure of it. He was
sure of it as he was sure of his love for Duo. Nothing can be so cruel.
*
* *
It was a silent and helpless whimper that woke Duo out of
his semi-sleeping state. Quickly, he straightened in his chair and turned to
look at Heero. The young man was lying still on the bed; his eyes closed and
tears leaking down his pale cheeks. The movement of Heero’s eyes under his
eyelids told Duo that he was dreaming, and by the twitching of his hand,
struggling against the thin sheets, Duo guessed that it was not a pleasant
dream.
“Cha...... Chairu......”
Heero called out weakly, his hand shaking as he tried to lift it up, his
fingers moving as if trying to grasp something, or call out for something.
“Chairu... Chairu... Kaeru... Kaeru Chairu... Koi......”
Confused, Duo hurried to
stand by Heero’s bedside, taking the fragile hand in his. He reached his other
hand to push back a few messy and sweaty bangs out of Heero’s closed eyes.
“Hee-chan...” He whispered, trying to soothe the ill man. “Heero...”
Another painful whimper
escaped Heero’s cracked lips and he thrust his head aside, his eyes clenched in
pain. He groaned in a silent protest against the pain and his eyes squeezed
tightly shut again. His hand curled tightly around Duo’s as a violent fit of
pain attacked him and his body arched off the bed. His eyes flew wide open,
blind to anything but pain and fever.
When the attack vanished, like
a wave withdrawing from the muddy sand, Heero’s body relaxed and slumped back
against the thin matters. His glazed blue eyes looked up at Duo with question,
confusion and fever swirling within the shining pools of cobalt blue.
“...Cha...Chairu?” He asked
in confusion, tilting his head aside as he tried to focus his vision on the
figure before him. “Chairu?”
His heart pulsing with pain,
Duo shook his head slowly and reached down to caress Heero’s fevered features.
“No Heero. It’s not Chairu. I’m Duo.”
A frown aped oed on Heero’s
weary features and he turned to scan the room with his eyes. “D-doko?
Dokodayo?” He asked feebly, turning back to Duo with a somewhat paed
ed
expression. “Chairu wa... doko..?”
“Where is who? Heero, I don’t
understand. Speak English. Who are you looking for?” Duo tried to speak as
calmly as he could, but in fact he was beginning to get hysteric. Heero was not
making any sense and the look in his eyes was as if he didn’t recognize him at
all. He could feel the heat that radiated from him, and it didn’t take a genius
to guess that he was running a high fever.
He took a deep breath, trying
to look composed, and held onto Heero’s hand tightly. “Heero, look at me. This
is not Chairu. I’m Duo. Remember me? I’m not Chairu. I don’t even know who
you’re talking about.”
“Duo..? Iiya... doko ni
arimasu ka... ahh... anou... uh... Cha--Chairu... d-doko desu ka..?
...Chairu... doko desu?”
Tears were beginning to fill
his eyes and he was nearing desperation. He took a deep breath and tried again,
struggling to remain calm. “Heero, I don’t know who you’re talking about.”
On the bed, Heero struggled
to push himself up, doing his best to try and look around. When all efforts
failed, he fell back against the bed and looked desperately into Duo’s eyes. “Watashi
no... watashi no aiken! Watashi no petto... Chairu... Doko..?” His voice was so
sad and desperate, that it pierced Duo’s heart like a sharp knife. He felt
helpless, being unable to help his frien—his love with his problem. With a
trembling hand, he reached down to caress Heero’s sweaty forehead, pushing a
few bangs aside.
“There’s no Chairu here,
Heero.”
Refusing to believe, Heero
shook his head and closed his eyes. “Masaka... omea wa... Chairu...” He gasped,
eyes flying wide open and his hand moved up to cover his mouth. “Nigasu?!!”
Duo blinked, even more
confused. “What? Heero! Please - speak English! I don’t understand you!” He
called out frantically, his fears and helplessness growing. “I don’t understand
you, Heero. Please! God... please...” He sniffled and wiped away a few tears,
looking down at Heero with miserable violet eyes. “Heero, I d und understand.”
“Baka!” The man on the bed
suddenly yelled, looking up at Duo with annoyance. “Ch-Chairu wa... we... we
have to... s-sagasu! Iiya... no... look for him!” He reached up two trembling
hands and clung to Duo desperately. “Hayaku, Duo! Onegai! Sagasu! L-look for
him!”
“Heero, I don’t understand!
Who do you want me to look for?!”
“Chairu! Watashi no Chairu!
Omae wa... you... you let him out......” Anger flashed in his fevered eyes and
he glared up at Duo. “Baka!” He spat in annoyance, punching Duo’s arm weakly.
“You let him out! You can’t do that! He’ll get into another fight!”
Heero was making less and
less sense as the minutes passed. Duo found himself wishing that he would fall
unconscious again. He couldn’t bare seeing Heero like this. Even in his worst
states back in the war, under the harshest torture and the most excruciating
pain, Heero was never like this. He always managed to keep in control, to keep
the pain at bay. Sure, sometimes even the perfect solider had surrendered to a
silent whimper or two, but he never lost control. Not to fever and not to pain.
Seeing Heero like this, made Duo wish he were blind.
But he shouldn’t be thinking
about himself right now. The more important thing was Heero. He had to try and
reason with him, or at least calm him down before he will hurt himself. Taking
a deep breath, he leaned down towards the fevered man and placed two strong
hands on each of his shoulders. He looked sternly into Heero’s eyes, keeping
their gazes locked. When he was sure he had Heero’s attention, he spoke his
words slowly: “Heero, I let no one out. There’s no one here. Do you understand?
You’re delusional. You have to lie down and relax. Do you understand?”
o’s o’s expression was lost
and confused. He looked up at Duo like a rebuked child, the look in his blue
eyes heartrending as they shimmered dimly with tears. “Ore wa... iiya... I... I
have to go get him...” He mumbled weakly, his lips pouting like a child trying
to convince his parents that he had done nothing wrong. “He... he needs me...
Chairu needs me... he does...” Heero continued sadly, bowing his head and
shaking it slowly from side to side. It looked like he was trying to convince
himself, more than anything else. “He needs me...”
“Heero,” Duo continued
calmly, his tears sliding freely down his cheeks and falling down to the bed.
But his gaze didn’t sway from Heero’s forlorn face, and he reached up a hand to
pet the back of Heero’s head. “Heero, you’re not home right now. You’re in a
hospital, remember?” He asked quietly, carefully kneeling down by the bed. He
looked up at Heero; only now being able to see his face for his head was still
bowed. “You’re not home, Heero, and there’s no Chairu here.”
Confusion and reason slowly
crept into Heero’s eyes, and the light suddenly returned to the dim blue orbs.
He sniffled and frowned, slowly looking up at Duo. “Koko wa... byouin... desu?”
He asked in a small and baffled voice, his expression one of a lost child.
“D-demo... ore... uh... I have to go... get him... He... I... I left him
behind... he needs me......” He tried to explain one last time, his eyelids
slowly fluttering shut. He was very close to fainting, but still, he struggled
to reach a hand up for Duo, holding onto him as if to life itself.
“.........k-kibun ga waruindesu... ga......”href="#_edn1" name="_ednref1" title="">[i]
He let out in a finale murmur, his eyes slowly closing as they rolled back into
his head. His body slumped forward, fainting after he had exhausted himself
completely.
All Duo could do now was wrap
his arms around Heero, pull him close, hug him tightly and cry.
* * *
“Oh heck- Heero - no! Keep
away from that thing! No! Keep it back! Back! Fuck!”
Duo’s voice rang loudly in
the air, carried by a cool ocean breeze. He was standing barefoot on a surface
of golden sand, merely a meter or two from the vast ocean. The beach was wide
and seemed to stretch on into forever, an endless plane of golden sands and
waves that shone under the sun. Far away into the vast blue waters, a large
golden sphere was slowly melting into the ocean. The sun was setting against a
beautiful and colorful sky, the bright colors of red, orange yellow and blue
painting the heavens. Warm rays of sunshine washed the beach in a golden glow,
casting their bright radiance on the sparkling waves.
About a hundred meters behind
Duacinacing the ocean, was a large beach house, with a wooden porch and a tiled
roof. It was the only house in a fifty miles radius, being located practically
in the middle of nowhere. There wasn’t even a road that led to it, which made
it the perfect safehouse for the time being. Not all the pilots were currently
gathered in the house. In fact, there were only three people living in the house
right now. One of those people was standing a few meters in front of Duo, his
bare feet getting soaked by the waves that kissed the sand and retreated back
into the ocean.
“Baka, it’s only a small
dog.” Heero finally spoke, his voice filled with annoyance but yet, if you
listened well enough, you could detect the amusement in his quiet voice. He was
standing in the shallow water, his feet slightly buried in the soft and muddy
sand. Small waves came and went, wetting his feet as they did. He was wearing a
pair of black gym shorts and a white tank top, which was tousled by the soft
wind, flapping around him. His chocolate brown hair was also swinging left and
right, obscuring his piercing blue eyes. At his feet, standing on all four and
wagging his tail, was a rather large dog, with thick brown fur and large black
eyes. He was looking up at Duo like a child asking for you to play with him,
his tongue hanging out of his mouth.
Duo rolled his eyes and
turned to glare at his fellow pilot. “I know that! But just... just keep it
away!”
A pair of amused blue eyes
turned to look at him, the cobalt orbs shining under the warm rays of sunset.
“Don’t tell me that you are afraid of dogs.” Heero snarled, his tone lighter
than usual, as a sign of his amusement.
“I’m not! I’m allergic!” Duo
protested, trying to defend himself.
“Right.” Heero muttered,
rolling his eyes. He reached down to pet the dog’s head, looking down at him in
affection. He turned back to face his comrade. “How can a Gundam pilot afford
being allergic to dogs, or anything else for that matter?”
“Ch! Like you’re so perfect!
You puke each time you see a dead animal on your plate!”
“Baka. I do not.”
“Do to!”
“Shut up. At least I’m not
allergic to anything.”
Duo rolled his eyes. “Yeah
right.”
Smirking, Heero brought the
dog closer to him and took a step towards Duo.
The braided boy staggered
back a few steps. “Heero! I’m not kidding! Keep it away from me!”
“It’s not an ‘it’, Duo. He’s
a living being, just like you are.” Heero corrected him, turning back to pet
the dog’s head.
“Shut up, smartass!”
Duo muttered and pointed a finger towards Heero, waving it at him as a warning.
“And keep that thing away from me! I’m gonna be sick for days! And—and--- and
who knows what kind of diseases this things carries with him! You don’t want to
get sick, do ya?!”
“I won’t get sick from
petting a dog, Duo.”
“Well... just... just don’t
let it lick you or something... and keep it away from your bullet wound! The
last thing you need is another deadly infection!”
“I’m fine, Duo, stop being
such a baby.” Heero muttered in annoyance, though inside, he was smilng. It
was... nice, to hear someone cared about you, even if he was only doing it for
the sake of the mission... He was only worrying about a fellow pilot, but
still... he could at least pretend that it was more. It made the pain caused by
his shot-wound a bit more bearable.
“I’m not a baby! If anyone is
being childish- it’s you! You should know better than walking around with a
nasty wound in your kidney! If anything, you should be in a hospital- not on
the beach getting sand and stuff into your bandages!”
“Duo, I told you, I’m fine.
And the bandages are fine as well, stop worrying so much. You did a good job
bandaging me up.”
“I---” About to protest
again, Duo suddenly fell silent, not even finishing what he had to say. Maybe
because he didn’t know what to say in the first place. It was always so
hard to find what to say next to Heero, even for someone like him who was used
to speaking no matter what.
He supposed that it was due
to the fact that he was always trying to find a hidden meaning behind Heero’s
every word. The Japanese boy rarely spoke, and when he did, it always sounded
as if he was trying to say so much more than what was being said. Like he was
hiding something, but yet at the same time he was trying to make Duo see it.
Like he was afraid of revealing everything but yet wanting to show it all.
Duo always had the feeling
that there was something great hidden behind Heero’s mask. He only got glimpses
of it once in a long while, and so it was hard to tell what it was, exactly.
But he had seen the spark, he had seen the hint that marked that there was a
treasure hidden somewhere in there, inside Heero. However... finding that
treasure... he was not sure that he was up to the task. He didn’t know if he
was willing to take on that journey. Why should he, anyway? They’re only
comrades... he owed Heero nothing... and besides... he already had someone in
mind...
So why was he acting
like a mother hen towards Heero? It’s only Heero, after all. Only a comrade.
Only the stubborn, boring, indifferent, cold hearted and arrogant Heero. Why
should he care so much? Why did he care so much!?
When he looked down at where
the boy was kneeling, petting the dog, Duo’s heart whispered the silent answer.
It was too obvious to ignore, but yet he chose to do so. It was better to
ignore. He had to play it safe. He already had someone in mind, a safe escape
route... a way to live and love and still remain safe. To never get hurt again.
He had to play it safe.
“Duo!” A female voice called
from afar and the longhaired teen turned around. He looked up at where the
beach house was, and a small smile spread on his features. Standing on the
porch was Hilde, wearing a short dress that flapped in the soft wind. She was
waving at him and smiling, calling out his name.
“Duo! Dinner’s ready! Get
your ass back here!”
Chuckling, Duo shook his head
in amusement. He turned back to look at Heero, who was still standing against
the setting sun, looking like nothing more but a silhouette. The dog was still
by his side, wagging his tail and looking at Duo with piercing black eyes. Duo
swallowed nervously and looked away from the dog. He looked up at Heero, but it
was hard for him to see his face, because of the blinding sun. It was odd,
because for some reason Heero looked different while standing against the sun.
His silhouette looked so... small. So fragile all of a sudden. So... alone. So
very very alone. It made his heart ting in pain for a brief second, thinking
how come Heero’s shoulders were suddenly slumped and not sturdy and proud as
always.
He took a shaky breath and
forced himself to stop thinking about it. Heero was still his usual self. His
mind was just playing tricks on him. It was easy to get confused while looking
at someone who appeared to be no more than a shadow, standing against the sun.
“Dinner’s ready.” He finally
said, trying his best to sound like usu usual cheerful self. “Hilde made
lasagna. You coming?”
There was an awkward silence
after his question. Even the stupid dog didn’t move or made a sound, as if he
too sensed the tension. After a few long moment when only the waves where
heard, Heero took a deep breath and finally looked away. He bowed his head down
and looked at the dog. “No, that’s okay. You go on ahead. I... I’ll stay here.”
He reached down a slightly trembling hand and petted the top of the dog’s head.
Duo continued to stand in his
spot, just looking at Heero. He studied the way his wild bangs were tousled by
the ocean breeze, swinging from side to side as he leaned towards the dog. His
eyes lingered onto the sight of Heero’s long fingers as they ran through the
dog’s thick fur. A tingly feeling ran down the back of his head and to his
spine, as if he too was being caressed by those long, elegant and gentle
fingers. It was funny; he never could understand how a soldier’s hands could
look so delicate and frail. It was as if Heero was a pianist and not a trained
killer.
“DUO! ARE YOU COMING OR
WHAT?! I NEED HELP WITH OPENING THIS STUPID WINE!” Hilde’s voice was carried by
the wind and into Duo’s ears. He blinked, snapping out of his daze. He hurried
to look away from Heero, and licked his suddenly dry lips. “Okay, then I’ll,
uh... I’ll be seeing ya later, Heero.” He said, though he made no move to go.
Heero didn’t look up, still
petting the dog. He kneeled down in front of the animal, reaching up two hands
to ruffle the fur on his neck. His back was now turned to Duo. “Fine.” He said
coolly, ignoring the other boy on purpose.
“Right. Uh, see ya.” Duo
mumbled and then turned on his heels and ran back towards the beach house.
Heero was left behind; petting his only companion while his cobalt eyes
shimmered under the dying light of the setting sun. His hair was flapping
wildly from side to side, hitting his face so hard until it hurt. The wind was
colder now, and suddenly the sunset seemed less appealing to him. He remained
alone on the beach, the sound of the waves and the last few rays of sunlight
the only witnesses to his loneliness. But it was better than being a third
wheel. He considered sleeping right her the the cool sand tonight. It might
col
cold and lonely, but it was better than hearing Duo and Hilde in bed all night.
Anything was better than listening to Duo’s voice call out someone else’s name.
The dog stayed by his side,
looking up at him with large black eyes that seemed to glister with tears.
Heero smiled sadlyhis his small friend, running a hand through his thick fur.
“You’ll stay with me... right?” He asked in a small and quiet voice, and then
pulled the dog closer, hugging him.
The dog wailed sadly but made
no move to pull away. He tucked his head under Heero’s arm and let the young
teen hug him. He was the only oo seo see the small red stain that was slowly
growing on Heero’s white tank top. He was probably the only one to sense the
unnatural heat of fever coursing through the bobodybody. He was the only one to
ever know the pain that boy was feeling right now, and he was the only one
willing to offer comfort.
Leaning his head down, the
dog nudged away the bloodied tank top and bandages, revealing an open and
bleeding wound in Heero’s right side. He leaned down to lick the blood away,
cleaning the wound in the only way he knew how. A choked whimper tore out of
Heero’s lips and he hugged the dog tighter, burying his head in the soft fur.
“Arigatou...” He whispered
hoarsely, his voice tired and weak. He took a deep breath, trying to keep his
cool mask in place, and slowly pulled away from the dog. The animal stopped
tending his wound and looked up at him with warm black eyes. A small smile
appeared on Heero’s weary features and he slowly got up to his feet.
“C’mon.” He said, gesturing
at the dog with his head. He picked up a stick and waved it at the dog. His
eyes sparked with amusement as he saw the dog wag his tail eagerly. “Lets
play.” He said softly and threw the stick up in the air. The dog quickly ran
after the stick, throwing sand back towards Heero as he ran. The Japanese boy
sighed tiredly and hurried to run after the dog, his bare feet leaving long
trials of footprints on the golden sand.
* * *
Memories seemed to have made
it into a habit to come to him when they were most unneeded. If it wasn’t
enough that he had to sit there, helpless, watching his love dying, he also had
to remember all those times when he had turned his back on his love, when he
had purposely ignored him, just to ‘play it safe’. That time... on the beach...
Heero had tried his best to be friendly with him. Duo could sense how much the
Japanese boy wanted to be with him then, and how disappointed he was that he
left... for Hilde... Like he always did when things between them got a little too
‘dangerous’. And by ‘dangerous’ he meant- ‘too close’. Too intimate. Too close
to opening a chance for him to get hurt again. A beautiful sunset... a serene
atmosphere and Heero looking so beautiful back then... if it wasn’t for Hilde’s
lasagna, he wasn’t sure what could have happened. If he would have stayed, just
a bit lr...r... where would the two of them be now? How much pain and suffering
would have been avoided if he had stayed with Heero that evening?
He found Heero the next
morning, lying unconscious on the beach, drenched in his own blood. He got so
angry with him... so worried and ous ous at the same time. He was angry with
Heero and then again, he was even angrier with himself. Though he refused to
admit it. After he placed Heero in a warm bed and cleaned his re-opened bullet
wound, an argument broke out. Or more like it- a one-sided shouting fit aimed
at Heero.
//”I can’t believe you! Why
did you stay out all night?! And in that condition!? Why didn’t you tell me you
were feeling sick?! Why didn’t you tell me you were bleeding again!? This is
the third time already! I’m sick of it! Why is it so hard for you to come into
the house and say something!?!? ANYTHING???”
“I...... I didn’t want to
interfere......”
“Fucking Hell Heero! Fuck
you! I just can’t believe how dense you are sometimes! You nearly died,
are you aware of that?! Do you know what damage you’ve done to your body just
by being so damn stubborn?! Your kidney started bleeding again! I had to re-do
the stitches!”
“......... I’m sorry.”
“Ah, Hell, Heero! Sorry has
nothing to do with it!”
“Ch! You know what?
Sometimes, I don’t even know why I bother. You’re just not worth HALF the
trouble you cause!”//
Shouting that and then
storming out of the room must have been one of the biggest, stupidest, most
fatal mistakes he had ever done. Saying something like that to a person who
thought himself to be worth less than nothing, less than the dirt he steps on,
was not a smart thing to do. That day he discovered how fragile was the
treasure hidden inside of Heero. How easily it could be broken, and how hard it
was to mend it back together. That stupid and useless argument was one of the
major reasons he decided that it was best to keep away from Heero. To forget
about their would-be/could-be/should-be love, and just move on. It was better
that way, or so he had thought.
Looking at Heero now, he
regretted every second of it. He cursed every damn nerve in his brain that
carried that thought through hind.ind. Leaving Heero for Hilde was the most
unbecoming choice he had ever made. He regretted it now. Deeply.
How lonely he must have
been... so very very alone...
Sniffling, he looked down at
the sleeping beauty lying on the bed before him, slowly drawing breath in his
sleep. He won’t let him be alone ever again.
Smiling faintly, he reached
his dow down to caress Heero’s damp features. He was still running a fever,
his skin breaking sweat, but it was warm and tender to the touch. With his skin
flushed with fever, it was almost easy to forget how sick and pale he was. It
was almost easy to ignore the fact that Heero’s life was slowly draining away.
Almost easy. But not enough.
“I love you...” Duo
whispered, brushing the tips of his fingers over Heero’s warm forehead. “I’ll
never leave you...” He continued in a sad and desperate voice. Heero’s eyebrows
twitched for a second as Duo’s hand trailed gently over his features, but he
did not wake. Looking down at Heero’s weary and haggard features, calm and
still in sleep, made Duo’s heart pulse in pain. He looked almost dead, his lips
slightly open in an arduous attempt to draw air.
A powerful feeling suddenly
cursed through Duo’s body and he was attacked with the most unbelievable urge
to draw Heero close to him and never let go. As if he, the former
self-proclaimed Shinigami, will be able to guard his dying love from Death. His
body burned and throbbed with the feeling, with that irresistible urge to
gather the beautiful boy into his arms and just hold him. Just hold him and
make sure that no one will ever take him away.
As he crawled into Heero’s
bed and pulled him tightly into his arms, he almost believed that he would be
able to protect him. He lay next to Heero on the narrow bed, lying on his side
and gathered Heero into his arms. The young Japanese man’s body was now pressed
against his, locked in a tight grip that encircled him from the waist and up.
Duo’s arms were enfolded around Heero’s waist and chest, pushing the sleeping
man against his own body. Heero’s head was tucked securely beneath his chin,
the soft chocolate strings tickling his skin. He buried his face in Heero’s
soft brown hair, inhaling his scent deeply. It was musky and sweaty at the same
time, but he didn’t mind at all. It was Heero’s own unique smell, that distinctive
combination of both sweet and sour, of danger, adrenaline and musk. No one ever
smelled so sweet, so familiar and exciting to him.
He pressed himself even
harder against Heero’s smaller body, holding him so tight until the boy’s face
twitched in pain and discomfort. He leaned his cheek against the top of Heero’s
head, closing his eyes tightly and letting his tears slide down to the
chocolate strings below. He remained holding Heero in that tight embrace until
nightfall, just waiting for Death to try and make his move. He will not let him
take his love away. He wilght ght with anything he has. He will not let Heero go
and slip out of hands. Not again. Not ever EVER again!
* * *
The first light of the
artificial dawn began to wash over the streets of L7, and as light slowly
climbed up to Heero’s hospital window; it found the two young men still in
their embrace. Heero was still lying limply on the bed, Duo’s arms held around
him tightly. Neither of them moved an inch since last night.
Duo’s eyes were wide open,
blshotshot violet orbs looking numbly at the “skies” as light began to flood
the streets. L7’s dawn was brief and unremarkable, simply the lights being
slowly turned on with a dimmer. The whole process took no more than five or
seven minutes, which was the time it took the illumination and generators to
warm up. There was no chirping of birds, or a colorful sky. Nothing to be
compared to the beautiful sunrise seen on Earth. It was simply a matter of
turning the lights on.
As the light finally reached
its full power, shining at a 10,000-degrees Kelvin, Duo’s tired eyes slowly
blinked, blinded by the light that reflected off a nearby building. He had
spent the whole night staring ahead at nothing, waiting for that shadowy figure
to crawl out of Hades’ gates and dare to come to claim his love. His palm was
resting on Heero’s chest, above his heart. It had been there all night long,
allowing Duo to feel the soft heartbeat and the slow rise and fall of Heero’s
chest. It was comforting beyond words, and it wae one only thing that kept him
from crying nonstop all through the night. He could feel Heero’s heat against
his skin, the boy’s temperature wavering from hot to cold as the hours crawled
by. His hospital gown was damp with sweat and his bangs were plastered to his
forehead. His fever refused to break, and all Duo could do was try and share
his body heat as the boy trembled in his sleep.
A slight stirring from Heero
made Duo pull his gaze away from the window and look down. He smiled tiredly as
he caught the slight movement of Heero’s eyelids, that soft flickering of his
dark eyelashes as they moved lazily up and down. The bright light reflected in
the deep pools of cobalt as they opened and blinked, only to open again. Duo
considered this sight as his own personal sunrise, ignoring the little voice
that reminded him that he wouldn’t get to see many of these precious “sunrises”.
Shig ong on the bed so he
will be more comfortable, Duo arranged himself so he will be able to look into
Heero’s eyes. His arms were still wrapped around the smaller man, refusing to
let go just yet. He watched as Heero blinked the sleep out of his eyes, and
then slowly turned to face him, a small smile gracing his sweaty features.
“Hey...” He whispered feebly,
looking up at Duo with warm eyes. He frowned as he noticed the lack of sleep on
Duo’s haggard features. “Didn’t you sleep at all?” He asked, concerned.
Duo shook his head slowly,
still looking at his love. He noticed the worry and Heero’s eyes and so he bent
down to kiss him gently on the lips. He kissed him long and gently, merely a
simple touch of lips, but he just refused to be raterated from Heero’s delicate
lips. He pulled back slowly, bestowing another quick kiss on those heavenly
lips, and then moved up a bit so he could look closely into Heero’s eyes. Their
nosese nee nearly touching and he could feel Heero’s shallow breath against this
cheek. He smiled kindly at him, his violet eyes shining with warmth. “Did you
have any nice dreams?” He asked huskily, his hand rising to slowly caressed
Heero’s hair.
The boy beneath him smiled
shyly and nodded his head, as much as the close distance to Duo allowed him.
“Hai.” He whispered back, enjoying this silent conversation. He cherished the
feeling of Duo’s warm body against his, the both of them lying peacefully on
the bed as dawn broke outside the window. It was so peaceful and quiet that he couldn’t
help but answer back in a whisper. He didn’t want the spoil the moment.
“I dreamt of Chairu...” He
continued quietly, amusement in his eyes. “I dreamt the wae was okay... that he
found a new home...”
A slight frown appeared on
Duo’s features, but then it was gone and replaced by a softer expression.
“Chairu is your dog, right?” Duo asked softly, rising up a little so he could
run his fingers through Heero’s silky hair.
Heero nodded and closed his
eyes, leaning into Duo’s caress as the young man’s hand trailed down to pet his
cheek. He purred silently in content, melting under the soft caresses and
slumping deeper into the bed. Above him, Duo chuckled and offered a small kiss
to his nose.
“Heh... I figured you’ll get
yourself a dog or something... you were always so fond of them...” He said,
amusement shining in his eyes. He ran his hand softly against Heero’s handsome
features, pushing a few bangs aside and looking at him affectionately.
Heero smiled and opened his
eyes, reaching his hand up to hold Duo’s hand, the one that was caressing him.
He brought it to his mouth and kissed it gently. “I found him rummaging through
the dumpsters next to my building... he only had three legs...” He explained
quietly, holding Duo’s hand and looking at him with a wistful gaze. He sighed
and looked away sadly. “He didn’t really need my help... but I guess he didn’t
mind my company.”
“It’s so like you, Heero...
taking in stray dogs...” Duo muttered in amusement, shifting on the bed so he
was now lying on his back, next to Heero. He pulled the young Asian man close
to him, so that Heero was nearly lying on his chest, and wrapped his arms
around the young man. He continued petting Heero’s hair as if petting a kitten,
his fingers playing with the soft chocolate strings. He could hear Heero sigh
quietly and then he turned to lie on his side, snuggling against Duo’s body. He
rested his head on Duo’s chest and wrapped his arms around the muscled torso,
nudging his long legs closer to Duo’s. He smiled faintly as he felt Duo wrap
his arms and legs around him as well.
They lay in silence, their
gazes looking ahead at nothing, sinking in a sea of thought. Heero’s fingers
were toying mindlessly with the fabric of Duo’s shirt, while Duo’s own hand
continued to pet his lover’s hair. They simply lay there, enjoying each other’s
warmlistlistening to the rhythm of their breath and the beating of their
hearts. Heero’s eyes were looking out the window, watching the smoke rising out
of L7’s large industrial chimneys. He could feel Duo’s fingers make small curls
with his messy hair, curling the thick strings around his finger and then
releasing them. The only sound in the room was the sound of industrial machines
coming through the window, but their sound was dim and distant.
Time seemed to have come to a
stop, the serene moment seeming to last forever. But the heavy feeling was
still in the air, despite all the effort it took to try and ignore it. Both of
them knew, even as they lay there still and unmoving, that this peaceful
movement was only a short portion in time, and it will be gone with the blink
of an eye. The clock was still ticking, and time was still running out. It was
that thought, that heavy realization, the one to make Heero draw in a deep,
heavy breath and close his eyes sadly. He sighed deeply and then opened his
eyes, looking out the window, up to where the skies were suppose to be, out to
where the deep blackness of space was hiding behind a thick metal wall.
“Ne... Duo..?” He whispered
carefully, his voice resembling that of a child.
Time continued to stand still
as Duo’s hand simply toyed with Heero’s soft hair, and the silence remained. It
was the tightening of muscles in Duo’s arm and the slight faltering of the palm
in Heero’s hair that let the young Asian man know that he was heard. He could
feel Duo’s chest muscles falter as he took a shaky breath, and then finally
spoke.
“.........yeah?”
Heero’s eyes shone sadly as
he continued watching the horizon, as if trying to see past the colony’s
structure and out into space. He shifted slightly in Duo’s arms, his cheek
rubbing against Duo’s chest and his fingers nearly clutching his shirt. “I... I
have something I want to ask of you.”
He could already feel the
dread building inside of him, and he knew that Heero could feel it as well for
his whole body tensed. Still, he forced his hand to continue caressing Heero,
and simply nodded his head. “Sure, Heero. Anything.”
Tearing his gaze away from
the window, Heero shifted so he could look into Duo’s eyes, finally
face-to-face with him. His gaze was fierce but yet uncertain, tears wetting his
blue eyes. He smiled faintly, just a small and brief smile, and then cast his
gaze down, simply looking at Duo’s chest.
“I know it’s a lot to ask,
demo...” He began quietly, refusing to look up into Duo’s eyes. “I mean, I know
that it is quite expensive... maybe even impossible, but...” His voice trailed
off again and his gaze remained locked on the movement of Duo’s chest. The hand
in his hair came to a stop and the warm palm simply rested against the back of
Heero’s head. Heero could feel the weight of Duo’s gaze on him, just waiting
for him to continue. It was like the calm before the storm, and it took all he
had in him to bring himself to look up at Duo’s face again.
“I want...” He began with a
trembling voice, his cheeks flushed for he was so ashamed of what he was about
to say. “If it’s in any way possible, I want... no... I don’t want to...
I mean... I...” Getting tangled in his own words, Heero fell silent again and
hung his head down in defeat.
Duo frowned deeply, fear and
confusion making a tight knot in his stomach. “Heero, what’s wrong?” He asked
softly, reaching his hand under Heero’s chin, pulling his head up gently. “What
is it?” He repeated, warmth shining in his eyes. “You know that there’s nothing
I won’t give you.”
At that, Heero’s lips curved
up in a small smile. He nodded knowingly, but then his expression saddened
again. “I know, but I alsow thw that it’s too much to ask... it’s just too
expensive, but...”
“But?”
Heero sighed and looked away
again, turning his gaze out the window. He looked up at the “skies” sadly, his
eyes shining with tears. “Duo... I don’t want a space-burial...” He whispered,
nearly crying. “I don’t want to float out there... in the dark... alone... for
an eternity... I don’t want to be alone for that long...” Heero mumbled with a
tear-stained voice, pressing himself against Duo’s body as if he was his
anchor, the only thing that kept him from being sucked into that cold black
void. He hugged him tightly and buried his face in Duo’s warm chest.
“I want to be buried on L2...
I want to be close to you...”
Silence fell again as Duo
didn’t know what to make of Heero’s request. He didn’t know how to handle it.
He didn’t know if he could handle it. He didn’t want to! He didn’t want
to discuss Heero’s burial! He didn’t want! He didn’t! He just didn’t! He didn’t
and he won’t! HE WON’T!
But he had to. For Heero.
Everything for Heero.
Taking a deep, trembling,
breath, Duo moved his shivering hand and wra it it tightly around Heero’s
curled form. He patted him reassuringly and then swallowed hard, preparing
himself so he could speak properly and securely. “Sure Heero.” He said, bending
down and shifting so he could kiss Heero’s damp forehead. He then leaned down
to whisper in his ear. “That’s a promise.” He assured him as a finale
conformation, a few tears escaping his eyes as he blinked.
Below him, Heero smiled sadly
and nodded his head in thanks. “You’ll come and visit me... right?” He asked
almost pleadingly, and then moved his head up so he could look at Duo. “You
know... once in a while..? So I won’t be alone?”
More tears flooded his eyes,
but his gaze remained composed and determined, his violet eyes radiating
reassurance. “Of course I will, Heero. You’ll never be alone again. Not ever.”
He spoke in determination, pulling Heero closer in a crushing hug. Heero smiled
again and snuggled against him, burying himself in Duo’s warmth. The longhaired
man curled against his love and rested his head on top eeroeero’s. He took a
deep and shaky breath, his hands holding Heero so tightly as if trying to make
the boy one with himself.
“I wish I could have seen
your son, Duo...” Heero whispered sadly, his voice a bit muffled for he was pressed
against Duo’s chest. “Maybe he won’t mind coming with you to see me..?” He
asked hopefully, his fingers clenching around the fabric of Duo’s shirt,
responding to his own lies and wishful thinking. Even he couldn’t fool himself.
Death is a very lonely thing. He knew very well that he will not be able to see
Duo nor his son, but for now he just wanted to pretend.
Duo didn’t answer. He was
unable to. All he could mange was a choked-out sob as he buried his tear-soaked
face in Heero’s hair.
“You’re so lucky to have a
son, Duo...” Heero continued speaking, his voice was tired but he just refused
to spend his last few hours in sleep. “To leave such a legacy behind you... to
really make a difference to someone... Do you think... do you think he would
have liked to meet me?”
Sniffling loudly, Duo nodded
his head over and over, his forehead rubbing against the top of Heero’s head.
“Yes... yes... he would have...” He breathed out silently, unable to speak over
the sobs that threatened to smother him. “He would have liked that very
much...”
Heero smiled weakly, his
eyelids beginning to fall heavily up and down. “I think... I think you would
have liked Chairu...” He whispered, his speech slurred from sleep. “You don’t
like dogs but I think...” He stopped and sniffled; a few tears sidling slowly
down his cheeks. “It doesn’t matter though... I didn’t buy him a dog-tag...
he’s probably dead by now... theyl stl stray dogs... he only had three legs...
no one likes him...”
Duo continued crying silently
into Heeroair air as the boy’s consciousness slowly left him. He was unable to
do anything else. He was unable to help and he was unable to stop it. Heero was
withering right before him and all he could do was shed tears into his
once-oh-so-lush brown hair. But even these tears, no matter how many, were not
enough to water this withering flower. He continued to cry as Heero’s body
gradually relaxed, taken over by sleep, and the room fell silent again.
It was only two hours after
‘sunrise’, and already Duo was feeling the darkness fall over the room.
Somewhere in his heart, as much as he refused to acknowledge it, he knew that
this was it. This was the last sunrise Heero will ever see. The lights outside
were shining upon Heero’s last day. He knew that there are no more tomorrows,
and still all he could think of doing was to cry.
Part 8.
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