Family Therapy

D.     
And this is AU. And it’s all
about humor (and the endless lemons.
Goal for this story: get a lemon in every chapter like Hormone
Therapy.)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~****

Vegeta knew something was up the
moment his son—the younger twin—handed him a plate of food and made no comments
on the various marks on his skin from Kakarot’s attempts at the whole pregnancy
thing. And he had definitely meant what
he said. He rather liked having his
mate so horny he couldn’t see straight but he was sick and tired of getting
fucked into whatever available surface there was. (Despite what his idiot daughter in law said, he was not too old.)

Goten
sat down and said nothing, tapped his fingers on the table and idly tugged on
the bottom of his T-shirt (I’m Just a Dickhead Looking for an Asshole.) This nervousness meant there was something
the child was not telling him, and worse than that, it was something that
Vegeta, the oldest one, wanted to tell but Goten refused to allow it. They would both be walking around here like
they had ants up their ass for days until one of the two of them fessed up.

“Hey,
Mom,” Goten said abruptly, “Remember how you said that ‘one day when I kids a
long, long, long, long…’ how many longs was that you said anyway?”

Vegeta
paused in eating to say: “Twenty four.”

“Right,
so in a very long time, when I had kids I would ‘understand’ the ‘trouble’ I
was?”

Vegeta
nodded, felt that whatever was about to be said was going to be some sort of
sarcastic comment, and just waited for it to come forth.

“Well,
I understand now,” he said—looked serious for a record four seconds—“You had it
easy with me. I was much better behaved
than Presta.”

Just
about that exact same time, the very child of which he spoke came into the
kitchen wearing baggy pants that hugged her hips, showed off her navel and a
shirt that was stretched so tight over her tanned skin that it was pretty much
useless. “Haha, Dad,” Presta snapped.

“She’s
better behaved than you,” Vegeta retorted, “She’s still a virgin.”

Which
earned him a withering glare from his granddaughter and she sat at the table
like this was such a horrible thing for her to be. Whatever. If he had
thought of it, he would have smashed his sons head together and locked them in
a basement somewhere the moment he realized they were going at it with other
folks like rabid dogs. Thirteen was way
too young no matter what race you were.

“Yeah,
well, if you beat Dad’s record, we’ll maku a u a medal,” Goten said to his
child. (Goten himself didn’t give a
damn about his long lost virginity but he had spared no time in lecturing both
of his daughters on the importance of kneeing any mean in the groin should they
get ‘fresh’ with you.)

“What
is that record?”

Goten
sighed, looked at him. “How old was
Goten when you two started humping like horny rabbits?”

“Seven,”
Vegeta replied. Ignored this
conversation because it was one of those truly pointless ones that made no
sense outside of Goten’s demented little world where everything had
significance because somehow if a fly sneezed in Tibet a tidal wave wiped out
California.

“Somewhere
around twenty…six maybe seven I think.
I’m not sure. Nobody knows when
the old people were born.” This caused
Goten to look at him. “I think the last
time I asked Mom how old he was he told me he was ‘older than me.’”

“Its
not nice to ask a Mommy how old they are,” Presta countered. Then she stood up, gave him a hug—for some
reason that child liked him—and departed from the kitchen. With her went the grin of Goten’s that meant
he was actually rather proud of this child of his.

“You
know Mom,” Goten said, “If you have Dad give you a massage before you have sex,
you’ll probably get pregnant.” Then he
stood up and headed off toward his lab yet again.

~~~***

“Hey,
Vegeta,” Gina said, “Did Goten drug me or something?” Of course she asked this question while he had his head buried in
her shirt, and she was pressed up against the door to the room but had yet to
actually get that door open. In fact,
as far as she knew, Trunks was still in the room.

“Why
would he drug you?” Vegeta murmured from within her shirt and his lips brushed
against her breast and his fingers were creeping up between her thighs.

“Well,”
she said, reached down and wrapped her fingers around the doorknob, but it
opened without her turning it, and she fell back against Trunks. He pushed her back off him which was good,
because as soon as she felt her shoulders against Trunks’ chest, Vegeta pulled
his head out of her shirt and stood up straight, virtually growled at his
brother’s mate and grabbed her closer to him, picked her up and carried her
away, slid the glass doors (they were tinted) closed behind him as a clear
dismissal to that interruption. “Like I
was saying,” she continued as he divested her of her panties and lifted her
shirt back up, “I seem to be letting off some sort of smell that makes people
into idiots.”

“I’m
not an idiot,” Vegeta replied. Pressed
his thugaingainst her and slid his fingers deep inside, made her whimper and
she felt his smile against her breasts.

“No,
of course not. Now, am I being drugged,
because as I figured it, I shouldn’t be ‘in season’ for months.” She reached down pulled the shirt off and
ignored his little whine of disappointment.
(What a weird thing to like.)
Tossed the shirt off to the side of the bed—because she wasn’t going to
put it back on—and ran her fingers through the dark hair.

“No,
you’re not drugged,” he replied, “Its common for females in the same area to go
into season at the same time.” He let
his fingers slide back out of her and raised up her hips as she wrapped her
legs around him, and pulled him inside.
“Can we stop talking about this now?” skedsked, raised his head up and
kissed her, moved his hands from her hips to her chest and brushed his long
fingers over her soft chest.

“Maybe,”
she replied, smirked at him, “Do you plan on doing something to distract
me?”

He
rolled his eyes. “Why no. Please, feel free to continue to talk while
I bore you.” He started to move, slowly
and meaningfully, filling her up with each of the thrusts until she was
squirming under him, wanting more of it, but not willing to just say it because
this was one of those battle of the wills and she wasn’t about to lose. He covered her mouth again, kissed her over
and over until she was dizzy from it and had to wrap her arms around his back,
feel the muscles as they moved under his skin and her whole body was flushed
out with blush and sweat and she whined, pressed her hips back against
his.

Damn
him.

He
moved just slightly faster, cupped her breasts and pressed his palms flat
against her as he kissed her again, waited for her to open her mouth and ran
his tongue over hers as he moved in that annoying knowing way. Because he knew every inch of her inside and
out and it was just so freaking annoying.

But
he had his weaknesses too. And she
wrapped her tail around his and tightened it around him, stroked him until his
body shuddered and he had to pull away from the kiss to breath. Until he lost his rhythm and jerked into her
spastically, and she smiled, content to win this battle, but he reached down
and pulled her tail away. Grinned.

“Alright,”
he said, “You win.”

She
already knew that, naturally, but it was good to hear it. And he lifted her up so he could return his
attention to her breasts as he thrust into her quicker.

~~~***

Trunks
found his mate sitting at the work table, papers upon papers spread out around
him, but the only one that Goten was interested in was the napkin he was
scribbling numbers on so quickly that Trunks couldn’t keep up with the math,
and had to blink or he’d get dizzy.
Found that when the intense numbering was finished, Goten looked up at
him.

“Damn,”
his mate said, “I thought I had more time than that.”

“Before
the first one shows up?” Trunks asked.
Picked up the napkin and frowned at it.
That wasn’t nearly enough time.
“Is this why you’re building the cage?” he asked, “I mean, I know you
said you were going to put the kids and your parents in it. But, is this,” he turned the napkin back
around and showed him his own figure, “The real reason?”

Goten
huffed. Leaned back. “I think the first ones to come back through
will be Presta’s Freiza and King Cold.
We killed them first. Then Cell,
then Buu, then the other Freiza and King Cold.
Last of all, your androids.”

“That
doesn’t answer my question, Goten.”

“I
don’t intend to answer it, Trunks.”
Then he stood up, flicked his tail in annoyance and set about lying more
bars across the bottom of the cage.
Ignored the question that was still there in the air like the number on
that napkin that marked the deadline to the biggest fight that Trunks had heard
of. He had spent his life in hell,
watching androids make sport out of murdering, he had killed Freiza and King
Cold before, but those other ones, he had never faced them. Wasn’t sure if they could really defeat all
of them if they came together.

But
that wasn’t the worry right now. So he
huffed, dropped the stupid napkin and set about helping Goten fix the cage.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~****

Haha? Hehe? *sweat drop *

Goku: I knew there
was a reason I loved my son.

Sons: *cough
* There are more of us.

Goku: *looks at
Lil’Geta, Gohan and Bardock * Did you
explain how to get Vegeta pregnant?

Bardock: gross.

Gohan: Gee…Dad… I
thought you knew about sex and pregnancy.

Lil’Geta: My mate
is a girl. Can’t help you there.

Goku: That is why
Goten’s my favorite.

Goten: *smile like
a devil * Haha. I’ve always been the favorite.

Jaygoose:

*cringes
* do all the fights have to be
incredible? Can’t I just have one good
fight and the rest of them…lame or something?
*meep? * Actually, the only
fight I have any clue how to ‘win’ is the androids. And anyone who’s read Cross-eyed knows how the androids are going
to lose.

Lenora:

Riiiiiiight. Suuuuuure, Presta has the key. Whatever.
*rolls eyes * *notices Presta
holding a key and smiling wickedly *
O.o. Sorry. I guess you were telling the truth.

And
no, it’s not wrong to think 17 is cute.
*cough *

Macha:

Toooooo
maaaaannnnnnnnnnnnnnny questions! *head
explodes *

Anywho. Not sure what would happen if Vegeta &
Goku fused while he was pregnant. That would
be bizarre, that’s for sure.

Mechanical Butterfly:

Ah,
Goten told Trunks because despite the fact that he can lie, Goten’s
natural impulse is the tell the truth, and Trunks is going to help them
fight. So. *shrugs * More about that
will come up as Lil’Geta gets more annoyed at his brother’s plan and the
upcoming events.