Changes of the Heart

GW and its characters don\' belong to me but to
Sunrise/SOTSU Agency, Bandai etc. etc.

 

Okay here\'s chapter 6. Oh, this story jumps through three
different time periods, AC 197, 201 and 204. I\'ve marked which is which so I hope
it\'s not to confusing. Well, anyway, I hope those who read it enjoy it.

 

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June 6th AC 201...

 Quatre tightened his embrace around his new bride
as they twirled around the dance floor in perfect unison trying to ignore the
fellow partygoers who had formed a circle of gawking onlookers around them. 
"They should just put us under glass." 

 Relena smiled thinly to suppress a laugh to
Quatre\'s statement.  "Maybe this is why people prefer to marry only
once." 

Just as she had finished her sentence the music died down
and the song ended with Quatre bowing before Relena and her returning the
gesture with a curtsy. Then, taking her hand Quatre took a step to lead Relena
from the dance floor but before that step was even finished the high-pitched
clinking sounds of spoons tapping against glasses filled the ballroom. 
Quatre took a deep breath and sighed, smiling politely before leaning into
Relena, capturing her lips with his.

"I\'m getting out of here for awhile. Just tell
people I received a phone call and had to leave." 

Trowa looked over at Heero.  "You think you\'re
the only one who wishes they could get out of this reception? At least you
didn\'t have to be the best man."

Heero turned away. "Sorry. I forgot this is hard on
you too." 

Trowa shrugged.  "You can leave. I\'ll cover for
you." 

"Are you sure?" Heero asked. 

"Go on. I\'ve lived through worse." 

"I owe you one." 

Trowa grinned. "Several actually, but who\'s keeping
track."  

Heero left acknowledging Trowa with a nod. Draining the
last of his champagne he set the empty flute on a tray that was being carried
on the shoulders of a passing attendant.  He straightened his bowtie and
smoothed out his tux jacket and began making his way through the sea of guests
until he reached the dance floor.

Quatre turned feeling a gentle tap on his shoulder. 
"May I? You look like you need to rest your feet?"

Quatre\'s smile was wide.  "Trowa. I was
wondering if you were still here?  Where\'s Heero?" 

"Phone call. I think it was urgent. He\'ll be back
later I\'m sure. Until then may I have the honor Mrs. Winner?" 

Relena bowed her head.  "Of course Mr.
Barton." 

Quatre kissed Relena\'s cheek.  "I\'ll think I\'ll
go and get a drink." 

"All right." Relena softly replied and within
seconds found herself being twirled around the dance floor once again, this
time by Trowa; Relena spoke first breaking several seconds of silence. 

"I don\'t blame you for not liking me much,
especially now.  It must seem like I\'m taking him away from you
somehow." 

Trowa looked down at her.  "I hold no malice
towards you Relena, and, just to clarify.  I do not allow anything to be
taken from me unless I choose to let it be taken."

Relena flashed her gaze to catch his.  "Sounds
like you have some control issues." 

Trowa grinned somewhat.  "No more than yourself
madam. Like me you\'ve been in servitude your entire life pleasing other people,
living for them instead of yourself. Being ashamed of who you were because you
think your real self is not good enough." 

Relena clenched her jaw feeling her sweet demeanor
melting away, unlike anyone else Trowa had always managed to be the only one to
ever really be able to pick her apart and expose her naked psyche; still she
managed to maintain her civility-this was her wedding day, she was not going to
be angry.

Clearing her head she spoke.  "I actually should
thank you for being so understanding of the situation. You seem to be taking it
better than Heero is." 

Trowa chuckled softly. "I\'m not surprised you were
able to convince him. I\'ve always told people how remarkable I thought you were
being able to influence a guy like Heero." 

"I don\'t know about that Trowa. You seem to have a
pretty strong influence on him yourself, without you he never would have even
noticed me." 

She caught her breath somewhat as he pulled her even closer
to him and whispered in her ear.  "You could have easily gotten Heero
on your own merits-you certainly never needed my help, though I have no regrets
about assisting you in your search for..."

 Trowa flinched somewhat feeling the tip of Relena\'s
heel applied lightly to the top of his foot.  "This is not the place
to discuss such things." 

Trowa\'s smart-ass grin never left him and without missing
a step he twirled Relena around dipping her.  "May I remind you who
brought the subject up?" 

Relena wanted to scream and laugh at the same time. Trowa
had always told her she was one capable of using elegant words to persuade and
manipulate others, but he had learned over the years, how to use his body and
charm to bend others to his will, and he would be the first to admit it.

The song ended and the couple acknowledged the applause
as the clock struck mid-night. 

"Time to go claim your prince, Cindarella." 


Relena looked up at Trowa. "You know, I\'ve always
hated that story." She then spied Quatre across the room, a glassy look in
his eyes.  "I guess I should follow suit and get as drunk as he
is." 

"I don\'t know."  Trowa shrugged. "You
should take advantage of the situation. Quatre is really a great lover." 


Relena held her breath, grateful that no one could hear
the conversation.  "Just help me get him upstairs will you
please?" 

"Sure thing."

During that time, Heero was at a bar down the street from
the hotel where the reception was being held damning himself and his luck. 
What real man would stand by and watch the woman he loved marry someone else? 
True it was to ensure peace, but whatever the reason it wasn\'t right. 
When had he become such a puppy dog to Relena? Asking how high when she told
him to jump.  Of course when it came to the sex she had allowed him to be
in control most times, submitting without question to his deviant fantasies,
what some people would even label as sadomasochistic practices.  But sex
was not what their relationship was based on and that was not the main reason
he stayed with her, nor was it the vow of protecting her. He stayed with Relena
because he loved her. She had become his life, his very reason for existence,
feeling he would surely die if he ever had to live without her.  And so,
that love had put him in the position he was in now.

She had convinced him that it would be no different. That
this maneuver was merely another way he had to learn to share her with her
public, andt het her love for him would never change.  Heero shook his
head, telling her she was naïve, no, not naïve, just to optimistic and
unrealistic for her own good, but then she gave him the look, and her voice
softened as did her body as she pressed it against his.  He wondered where
and when she had learned to use sex as well as words to gain what she wanted. 
He had left her for an entire year after her kidnapping by the Bartons to find
himself, and when he had returned she had changed.  She had grown into a
woman with all of the physical and mental attributes that all women seem to
possess, but she seemed to have become an even more, charming, seductive,
elegant lady that he had found he could no longer resist.

 

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"Funny. I never thought Quatre would be so
heavy."  Relena huffed as she helped Trowa drag Quatre into the
bedroom. 

"I think it was the entire pint of whatever it was
he helped himself to." 

They eased Quatre down onto the bed and slid to the floor
to relax; Relena snagged a bottle of champagne out of a bucket of ice that had
been placed on their dresser earlier.  She sighed in relief, finding it
already uncorked and began to guzzle the bottle. 

Trowa\'s eyes widened a little and he began to laugh. 
"Drinking that fast will make you puke before it even gets a chance to
enter your blood system." 

She lowered the bottle from her lips.  "I\'m
desperate." 

Trowa\'s eyes glanced up towards Quatre.  "He
should only be out for an hour or two then you guys can get around to
consummating your marriage."  He looked back at her noticing her
paler had gone a little white.  "You okay? Are you getting
sick?"  Relena closed her eyes and shook her head.  "Not
from the alcohol. I, just, I just don\'t know if I can go through with
this?" 

She looked over at Trowa and noticed him smiling warmly.
"I\'ve heard you tell me that before Relena."  She jumped
somewhat feeling his hand glide up her arm and then rest against her cheek. 
"It\'ll be fine.  Just like it was then." 

Relena covered her mouth realizing her bottom lip was
trembling somewhat.  "But Heero? What have I done? What am I doing to
him?  I\'m evil Trowa.  I\'m disgusting and evil. I don\'t deserve him
or anyone." 

Trowa\'s voice grew stern and he forced her chin up so
that she had to look at him.  "Remember. We do what we must to
survive. None of us are pure Relena. Sin is natural and everyone has a dark
side.  We can either accept the evil within us and learn how to use it for
our own pleasures, or we can fight against it our entire lives and make
ourselves totally miserable though the deprivation of our desires...our
wants...our impulses."  He leaned into Relena to steal a kiss. 

The kiss was soft and heated as his words continued. 
"Have my lessons fallen on deaf ears? Do you not remember anything of what
I taught you about life...about love?  Doing what you must to get what you
want does not make you a bad person. It makes you human and it makes you real. 
No regrets Relena. No regrets." Relena shook her head silently and closed
her eyes and parting her lips she gave into him completely.

She jumped somewhat feeling the bodice of her wedding
gown being ripped down her back; the tiny intricate buttons scattering lord
knows where.  In one swift tug Trowa pulled the bodice off of Relena\'s
upper body and was now half on top of her pushing the bodice and the skirt of
the dress down the rest of her body.  She moaned softly feeling his hands
pressing together her breasts so that his lips could encircle and his teeth
could scrap both of her nipples at the same time.  She opened her mouth
and began to sigh heavily Trowa\'s name but before she could sound it out
entirely Trowa\'s hand clasped over her mouth; he brought his lips back up to
her ear, his voice in a stern whisper.  "Quiet. No one must know I\'m
in here." 

She pulled away his hand and inhaled a deep breath. 
"I understand."  She lost herself once again in his kiss,
emotions and feelings from a few years back flooding her memory.

 

 

Back further in time to AC 197...

 

Saddened by the sudden departure of her brother and Noin
compiled with Heero\'s own disappearing act had left Relena Dorlian confused and
devastated.  She had worked so hard to bring together the earth and
colonies, yet those people who she had felt the closest to she had been unable
to keep together.  There was of course Hildie and Duo and Quatre who tried
to fill the void and lighten her mood but nothing had seemed to work. Then one
day an ad to attend the circus had mysteriously found its way under her hotel
room door.  At first she had told herself she was not going to go, but
then it would have been rude to turn down the invite, and so she had snuck out
that afternoon and went to the show. 

Afterward, Catherine had approached her and taken her
back behind the scenes where she ended up having dinner with Trowa, Catherine
and a few other of the circus performers.  That evening she actually found
herself laughing, something she had not done in months. At eleven-thirty that
night, she thanked everyone for their hospitality, said good-bye and then
excused herself, only to find that her car would not start.  Being that it
was getting late and she was getting somewhat tired she accepted Trowa\'s offer
to take her home.

For several minutes they rode in silence, and then Trowa
asked her how she truly was feeling.  She didn\'t know why but the question
caused her to break down and pour her heart out to the one time gundam pilot,
other than Wufei, that she had known very little about. 

Once to her hotel she allowed Trowa to walk her up to her
room and invited him in for coffee, where she confided in him some more, asking
him the question that only Heero could have answered. 

"Why did he leave?"

Trowa did not even attempt to answer, though part of him
was highly upset with Heero for his actions.  Did the man not truly
realize what kind of treasure he had in a girl like Relena?  She then had
said something else that had made him do a double take. 

"Maybe it was because I\'m not pretty or sexy enough,
or I\'m too childish in some ways..." Then she had confessed to him that
she didn\'t know one thing about how to attract a man, no doubt because of the
fact that she was still a virgin, and then, came the clincher.  She asked
him if he knew what she could do to make herself more attractive, more desirable,
joking that she had always been jealous of the girls that were able to wrap men
around their little fingers.

"Relena." Trowa said her name in all
seriousness.  "I don\'t think you need any help becoming more
physically attractive, you just need to learn how to use it." He smiled a
little at the confused look she gave him. He took her hands into his and
intensely gazed into her eyes. "I can and am willing to show you
everything you need to know, but I don\'t want you to think I\'m taking advantage
of you either." 

Relena swallowed hard and truly looked at him for the
first time that evening.  She had always found him secretly attractive,
but his spurt into adulthood had made him even more so.  Suddenly she
shied away and told him she did not want his pity. 

"Do you think of me in that way Relena?" 

She shrugged.  "I don\'t know you enough to say,
but I\'m not as desperate as I act, I will not be pitied or used." 

Trowa knitted his brows together.  "When I
offer myself to someone Relena it is not because I feel sorry for them. 
It is because I want to be with them."  He cupped her chin and lifted
her face to his.  "And in this situation it is you who would be using
me.  Would it not?" 

His twisted logic and the kiss that followed sealed
Relena\'s fate. And that is when Relena gave herself to Trowa as his student in
the lessons of his philosophies and sexuality.

The next day Trowa had purposefully injured himself, a
minor injury but one that would require at least a few months leave from the
circus.  He then took up a desk job at the Preventers HQ where he could be
close to Relena without appearing suspicious. But it also had brought him back
into contact with Quatre and soon their friendship was rekindled and quickly
became more. Then, a few months later, Relena\'s wish came true when Heero
returned to claim her as his. It was at that time that Trowa Barton and Relena
Dorlian had terminated their relationship as quickly as they had began it. And,
needless to say Trowa never did return to the circus.

 

Back to AC 201...

 

Relena bit her lip to suppress crying out Trowa\'s name
again feeling his now naked body pressed against hers, his sex pressed against
her vaginal opening even more so.  "It\'s been so long since we\'ve
done this." 

 "Just this one time Relena, then never again.
Please. I need you so bad right now."  Trowa then swallowed hard that
moment as a proclamation of love almost escaped his lips.  He heard her
tell him she needed him too and so he entered her roughly, without restraint. 


Relena\'s throaty cry was that of pleasure as she found
herself submitting her body and soul once again to the man who confused her
like no other person, the one man who she knew in her heart she would never be
able to resist. A powerful man who she would never declare her love to for fear
of losing her very self in him.

Trowa\'s climatic response was almost that of a sob as he
tried to be silent, his fingers digging into Relena\'s sides as he felt the
increasing moisture around his sex as his fluids mixed with hers.  Relena
tasted her own blood as she bit her tongue releasing a mousy squeal of her own,
she shivered slightly as their warm combined juices began to cool on the inside
of her thighs as he pulled away from her.  She instinctively sat up and
pulled her torn dress over her body as Trowa rose and began to dress himself. 


Silence fell between them. He slipped on his last shoe
and began to walk towards the door. He placed his hand on the doorknob and
cracked the door open. The coast was clear and he slipped outside into the hall
but before he could close the door completely behind him, Relena, who had begun
drinking the almost full bottle of champagne again, became bold.  "I
don\'t regret anything we\'ve ever done." 

His eyes caught hers for a split second as he spoke. 
"Neither have I Relena. Neither have I." 

The door softly clicked shut and that was the last time
she had ever had any real words with Trowa Barton.

 

Back to present day...AC 204

 

"I\'m fine Quatre. Don\'t worry Heero\'s on his way to
get me.  Of course I\'ll see you later tonight. I love you too sweetie. Now
get back to work so you can get home earlier. All right, all right. I will
Bye."  Relena snapped her phone shut and slid it back down into her
purse and then checked her watch.  "It shouldn\'t take this long for
Heero to get here." 

 She heard the horn of a car and looked out the
window surprised to see Trowa\'s silver Jaguar XK pull up; it had been a
birthday present to him from Quatre.  Why was he here? She took a deep
breath and summoned up all of her courage.  She had found Trowa to be the
only person in the world that could make her feel nervous and
unguarded...vulnerable.  She stepped out through the doors to be greeted
by Trowa who opened the passenger door for her. 

"Ever the gentleman, eh Trowa?"  She
smiled at him before asking him where Heero was. He waited until he was in the
car before he answered her. 

"Banged his leg. He\'s in the ER but it\'s nothing
serious.  We\'re going there now to pick him up." 

Relena chuckled.  "How\'d you manage to get him
into the hospital?" 

He smiled back at her. "I told him how pissed you\'d
be if he didn\'t, plus that you\'d skin me alive in the process, so I did it
really out of self preservation." 

"Do I really nag that much?" 

"No. But you can lecture a person until their ears
bleed." 

Relena laughed again.  "Comes with the
territory." 

"I suppose." Trowa sighed.  "By the
way. Since parenthood is a definite now what are you and Heero going to be
doing?" 

 "What about you and Quatre?" 

"Damn Relena. You would have to ask me that." 


"Only fair." 

Trowa smiled and sighed again.  "I\'ve always
loved verbally fencing with you Relena, among other things." 

"Trowa, please." 

"What? I\'m not suggesting anything. It\'s over,
simple as that. We had one final night and it\'ll never be repeated.  So.
What about Heero?"

Just then Trowa came to a stop at a red light and in a
huff Relena pushed open the door and jumped out of the car before he could stop
her. 

"Relena!" He cursed her as he was forced to
drive off, but then making a quick u-turn he caught up with her and followed
beside her quick pace with the car.  "Get in the damn car
Relena!" 

She halted her steps and then turned to face him. 
"Why Trowa? Why do you suddenly want to torment me like this?" 
She began to walk off again as he pulled the car over and slipped out of the
vehicle; she felt him grab her arm. 

"Why are you running away from me Relena?" 


"Why are suddenly trying to catch me?" 

"Because if I lose you," he paused running his
fingers through his hair, searching for words, but instead of the truth he
lied, "Heero and Quatre would be furious with me."  Relena
inhaled a deep breath and exhaled it slowly and then walked back over to the
car and opened the door turning a moment to speak to Trowa. 

"You are the only person that truly frightens me. I
can\'t trust myself around you, I, I can\'t, oh to hell with you Trowa." 
The end of Relena\'s sentence was a mere whisper as she bowed her head and
covered her eyes with one of her hands while the other hand clutched onto the
car door handle for support.  She felt him close to her now standing
before her, his forehead pressed to hers one of his hands absent mindedly began
to stroke her hair. 

"Don\'t you realize Relena why I\'ve avoided you? It\'s
because I feel the same way." 

"What?"  Her face took the expression of
bewilderment and she pulled away enough to look up at him.  "But I
thought nothing frightened you." 

He opened his mouth to speak but before words could come
out Relena\'s cell phone began to ring; he pulled away from her. 

"It\'s probably Heero wondering where we are." 
He walked over to the driver side of his car.  Relena did her best to calm
herself and answered the phone.  "Hi Heero."  Trowa stared
at Relena, amazed as her demeanor changed, even laughing off their tardiness
telling Heero Trowa\'s car had overheated and needed antifreeze. 

Trowa almost smiled, she had become a master at the art
of wearing many masks; she had learned the lessons he had taught her well.
Though he would have never thought he would ever have gotten so hung up on her,
but then there was Quatre. His life had been so clear to him until he had
linked up with Relena and obviously it was the same for her.  But part of
him had wanted her or he never would have slipped the circus advertisement
under her door or disconnected the battery cable from her car.  His
thoughts were interrupted by her voice.  "I told Heero we\'d be right
there." 

"Then we better get going."

 

TBC...