Furry Madness

Part 6

Hughes did show up with food. Lots of food. And also with an extra surprise.

“Gracia had something tonight. Ladies’ night. I couldn’t leave my princess alone home now, could I?”

“Uncle Roy!”

Roy started to back up, but too late. Alicia was on him, clinging to his leg and reaching for his tail. He was just fast enough to snag it out of her reach. He held it preciously with both hands, glaring at Hughes. The little girl, saddened, wandered away.

“You better have lots of tuna to make up for unleashing this on me.”

“Don’t worry, we’ve had Edward over to dinner often enough for me to know just how much fish I had better bring along.”

Mustang blinked. “Where’s you tail?” Hughes still had the ears - long, pointy and orange ears on the top of his head - but no tail bushed behind him.

“Oh, it’s there. Just stuffed it in my pants. For safety,” cheerful explained Hughes. “You might want to do the same. Keep it out of her reach you know.”

After a bit of messing around, Roy was able to curl his tail around his waist. It was annoying to hold it like that, but he really did not want it to swish and attract Alicia’s attention. He had in the idea it would hurt considerably if somebody pulled on it. In fact, howls arose soon enough and the pair of kittens came running to them, Alicia following them with their tails held hostages in her small, but strong, hands.

“Get her off! Get her off!”

“She won’t let go! Mister Hughes!”

“She has a mean grip, doesn’t she?” smiled Hughes fondly. “Make her cry and I’ll kill you,” he added on the same happy tone.

Alicia was now attempting to tie the tails together while Alphonse tried to convince her to let go and Edward tried not to claw or bite her. Roy took pity on them. He raised an eyebrow. “Maes, do you really want your daughter to grow up thinking playing with boys’ tails is good?”

Hughes stared at his friend a second and scooted past him to his little girl. “Alicia, honey, let go! That’s a bad, bad thing to do!”

Hughes picked Alicia up and dragged his bags of food to the kitchen while cooing to her. Alphonse and Edward were left collapsed on the floor, holding their tails with both hands and licking the parts Alicia had squeezed in her iron grip.

“It hurts….it huuurts.”

“Now come on Fullmetal, stop whining. It can’t be that bad.” Alphonse mewed pitifully and Roy reconsidered his unkind words. Edward was prone to exaggeration, but his brother was not. Then it must truly be painful, he decided, feeling some compassion. He knelt down and nudged Ed encouragingly. “There’s tuna. Hughes promised lots of it.”

“Tuna?” Edward seemed to recover at the thought. He climbed to his feet but did not stop holding his tail to his chest.

“You might want to tuck it around your waist like me,” advised Roy.

Edward’s ears flattened and he grumbled to the floor. “Alicia can reach to my waist easily.”

“Tuck it in your pants then.” The boys followed the suggestion.

A new yell was heard and they all flinched. Especially Roy. His heart was sinking fast. “Please tell me that wasn’t Hawkeye.”

“There isn’t any other woman in here,” replied Al, sounding properly horrified.

“Alicia!” They found Hughes trying to summon a scowling face to talk to his daughter. It was something he really, really wasn’t used to, but this called for it. They all gasped noticing the large feathers in Alicia’s hand.

“Hawkeye is going to kill you,” said Roy, slit eyes going wide.

Hughes had never showed fear toward Hawkeye before. Now he did. “I know. Take care of my baby when I’m gone,” he pleaded.

“We will,” promised Alphonse, darkly.

Edward was nervously flicking his ears in every direction. “Where…where is she?”

“Outside.”

Being the courageous man he was – not that he felt all that courageous right at that moment – Roy stepped out. “Hawkeye? Are you alright?” A gunshot echoed as a bullet buried itself in the wood right before his foot. The man hissed, jumping back with his fur stranding straight all over his body. It made his pants fluff up and Edward would have laughed if he hadn’t been so terrified. It took Roy a long time to recover and convince himself to try again. This time he didn’t wander far enough for the lady on the roof to shoot at him. “Please, Hawkeye, calm down.”

“She plucked my tail!” The voice was bordering hysteria. Roy had never ever heard Hawkeye speak like this. This was a potentially disastrous situation. This animal stuff was more complicated than he’d thought.

“Edward, take Alicia and bring her to Havoc. He made trouble earlier, let him be useful.” Edward was very glad to get away. “Hughes, stay there. If I have to set you on fire to calm her, I will.”

Al made a little noise. “I’ll go talk to her. I’m the only one she never shot at.”

Mustang thought about it and gave a curt nod. “I’ll help you get on the roof.” They carefully stepped out and Roy played ladder for Al. “Good luck,” he said as the boy climbed on his shoulder and tossed himself on the roof.

Roy backed up really fast. There was a new gunshot and Al gave a panicked meow as he jumped three feet up the air and nearly fell down. He caught himself with the help of his claws, half his body dangling from the edge.

“Wonderful,” breathed Roy, walking out with the intention of helping the boy down. But Al’s frantic kicking did not allow him to get close enough. He was about to order Alphonse to stay still when the catboy was pulled up. The boy didn’t emit any more panicked cries, nor was there any more gunshots, so Roy retreated very slowly and waited.

Hughes had crouched on the floor, flinching. “Think he’ll calm her? She likes Alphonse right?”

“You might yet live. Now, where’s that tuna?”

-

On the roof, Alphonse was just finally getting a grip and his shaking stopped as he flattened himself on the uncomfortable surface with a soft sigh. Hawkeye’s ears rubbing did have something to do with it.

“I’m sorry.”

“You’re almost as scary as my teacher sometimes, miss Hawkeye.” He cracked an eye open and very cautiously asked, “Are you injured?”

“Not really. I over-reacted. I’m not sure why.” She gave an apologetic smile.

“She was trying to make a knot with our tails,” offered Al. “I didn’t think it would hurt that much.”

“I didn’t think shiny coins were so interesting,” Riza replied, deadpan.

Alphonse giggled and curled up in a tight ball to enjoy the woman’s nails scratching the back of his ears. He figured Hawkeye felt guilty for nearly shooting him off the roof – and nearly giving him a heart attack - and was trying to make him fell better. Al certainly didn’t have any problem with that. He could forgive a lot for scratchies. He dozed off within minutes.

-

“I hear Al purr,” noted Roy, his dark ears flicking. “Case cleared.” He happily went back to his can of tuna.

Edward wandered in soon after. “I smell tuna,” he accused, growling at Roy. “Gimme!”

“No fighting, there’s one for you too,” pointed Hughes,

Ed settled down with his can. “Where’s Al?”

“Getting scratched or pet by Hawkeye on the roof it appears,” dryly explained Roy.

“I don’t want to know.” The boy gave his tuna his full attention. Funny, he hadn’t loved fish much before. Now he wanted to eat it every single day for the rest of his life.

Hughes was the only one who thought of sitting at the table to eat. Of course, what he was eating made a bit of a mess, being raw and bloody. Roy sniffed the air. “What are you eating, Hughes? It smells nice.”

“Don’t tell Alicia, but it’s rabbit meat.”

Roy perked. “Share. I want some of that.”

“What? Why should I?”

Roy explained, very slowly, why Hughes had no choice but to share. “Because I’m a panther and you’re a fox. Because I can still set you on fire or let Hawkeye get you. I’m sure one tiny comment after her lost tail feathers would do. Because I could tell Alicia it’s bunny meat.”

“That’s intimidation,’” grumbled Hughes, but he offered some meat anyway.

“How long are they going to be on the roof?” inquired Ed licking his empty can mournfully. He liked licking his lips; his tongue was interestingly raspy. It made a fine job for his grooming too, which he had an urge to get working on right now. So he did.

Roy studied Ed as he licked himself and found it very cute, among other things. That tongue would have been fun for, certain things, which he should not have been thinking about. It had been clearly exposed that the photo album was not from Edward. But Roy really wished it had been. He could just match certain of these poses with Ed’s current cat-looks and mmm, the mental images were delicious. He chased these slippery thoughts with a mental sigh. Well, it was a good thing he’d found out before Edward turned eighteen and became legally molestable. He suspected his advances would have been badly received and he did not fancy losing any limbs to Ed’s automail.

Roy wondered why Edward was looking at him for a second. Oh, right. Edward had asked a question. Something about Alphonse and Hawkeye. “I don’t know. But they’re happy, so we’re happy and we don’t bother them. They’ll come down for the night, I’m sure.”

“You sent my brother to calm her?” Ed seemed to consider whether he should be upset at the man for putting for brother in such danger. In the end, he simply returned to his personal grooming. Roy couldn’t convince himself to stop watching.

Before long, the dark-haired man was also taken by the urge to groom himself, while Hughes had somehow curled up on the chair to watch the two cats with curiosity and amusement. From time to time there was a sharp cry from somewhere in the house, but it only made them smile. Havoc deserved it.