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Unsettling Affairs	By : xkesshoux Category: Fullmetal Alchemist > Yaoi - Male/Male Views: 1906 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Full Metal Alchemist, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 5
- 6
- 7
Each
individual chapter will have a different rating, different pairings,
different spoilers, and a different setting and timeline. Multiple
people were involved in writing this fic, I do not claim to have
written anything other than my own characters. I do however claim to
have come up with the plot, story idea, and organizing it all. The
others who write characters in this fic are well aware that I am
posting it, and contribute willingly. This fic is an ongoing project
with an unknown number of parts, with alternate storyline as of the
fifth laboratory incident. Enjoy!

Picking
up the Pieces

Rating:
R
Pairings: RoyxEd
Disclaimer: I don't own
FMA.Roy was written by my friend, plot written by me. It's like a
collaboration fic.
Spoilers: None really.
Setting:
Roy's office, Central City.
Timeline: Ed's return after
leave.

The boy
on the floor in the midst of a wrecked office whimpered in his sleep
and rolled over, crying out in pain as the corner of a broken table
pushed against the burnt flesh on his stomach, but he didn't wake.

Quiet
footsteps moving down a hallway. A rattling noise of keys; a faint
moue of surprise as the door pushed open at a touch. Creak of hinges.

A swift
gasp.

Roy took
stock. One ruined office, check. One rising temper, check.

One
sleeping National Alchemist... check?

Moving
around the rubbish, Colonel Roy Mustang approached the sleeping boy
and prodded gently at his shoulder, carefully avoiding the evident...
burns? "Major Elric," he said, congratulating himself for
keeping a (mostly) calm tone. "Do wake up and explain yourself,
because I am looking forward to what you have to say."

The
blonde's touseled bangs at the moment hid his face, but at the
nudging he rolled over onto his back, grimacing. His face was flushed
and he appeared pained, hair clinging to his skin due to the layer of
cold sweat that had condensed there. A thin line of burgandy crust
marked the corner of his mouth to his chin, and on the carpet where
his head had been situated before, a dark red, almost black now, spot
confirmed that it was indeed blood. Edward still didn't wake, despite
whimpering slightly in pain.

"Oh,"
Roy breathed, and for a moment didn't think about anything at all.

He looked
around. The office furniture was more or less intact, but the rug was
a total loss. Papers and debris had blown about wildly, and one
window had a fine webbing of cracks radiating from its center,
brilliant light streaming through the flaws and pooling on the office
floor.

Roy
looked from the sleeping boy to the wreckage. On one hand, Edward
Elric, hair plastered to his face with what was most certainly dried
sweat and blood; on the other hand, his completely ruined office,
most furnishings of which would need to be replaced--Financing
Department in Central will have a fit, he thought with a mental
groan.

Boy.
Wreckage. Boy. Wreckage.

With a
sigh and a feeling of surrender--one that had become all too familiar
since Roy had first met Edward and Elric, nothing but lost, damaged
boys missing their mother, boys with a terrible talent that could
slay hundreds with a single gesture--Roy began to tidy up. I'll ask
about it later, he reasoned with himself... After he wakes up.

Edward's
entire body tensed suddenly, the sudden straightening of limbs in a
harsh movement kicking the nearby leg of an intact table. Well, at
least it was intact before he kicked it. So was that vase. Oh well.
Aside from the breakage of even MORE of the Colonol's office
furniture and decorations, this sudden movement had caused an obvious
jolt of pain that roused the older Elric from a restless feverish
sleep. Golden eyes flew open, unfocused and yet wide awake and aware
of only the happenings that flew through his head in recap mode, and
within seconds of awakening there was one word on the tip of his
tongue that ended up as a scream. "Taisa-AAGH!" As he was
violently interrupted by the searing pain in his chest, his body
jolting up to a sitting position only to cause an almost
instantaneous dizziness in the same moment that he felt the urge to
puke and coughed up blood, tears leaking from his eyes at the pain as
he was jerked forward in that violent cough.

His
stomach muscles seared with hot pain and it clouded his vision, his
breaths raspy after the rude awakening. And he just sat there,
hunched forward, in pain, ears ringing.

Roy was
instantly at Edward's side, firm hands pushing him down back into a
reclining position. "Idiot!" he hissed. "Stay still!"
Efficiently he ripped Edward's tattered shirt down the center,
exposing his wounds.

Roy
sucked in a breath at the ugly sight; he hadn't realized the extent
of the damage. Swiftly he stood, crossing the room and rummaging in
an almost-undamaged cabinet until he found the first aid kit.

He
returned to Edward's side and knelt, extracting ointment, gauze,
surgical tape, and scissors from the kit. "Idiot," he
murmured as his hands worked on autopilot, measuring out lengths of
the bandaging. "Who did this to you?"

"When
did...you get here...anyway..." Edward hadn't planned on showing
weakness in front of that bastard...what the hell was wrong with him
even his thoughts were only half-assedly insulting Roy...He shivered,
not from cold, but from the sick feeling.

"A
few minutes ago." Roy smoothed ointment on a particularly nasty
burn on the side of Edward's stomach with the lightest touch, fingers
sliding from the top of Edward's hip to the edge of his ribs. "Answer
the question." He cut a length of gauze off the roll and taped
it carefully onto the wound before moving on to the next burn.

Ed
couldn't help but shiver and tense slightly under Roy's touch, why,
he didn't know. "I...don't know..." He cringed at the
application of bandages, and for a moment thanked whatever out there
would listen to him that his face was already flushed so that his
face didn't betray these confusing things he kept feeling.

The older
man paused for a moment and looked up at Edward, dark eyes
unreadable, as he absentmindedly covered an ugly, puckered ridge of
tissue bisecting Ed's side with clean cotton. "You can't
remember?" He frowned. "Take the shirt off. I need to see
to your back."

The
blonde grimaced, sitting up was a painstaking process that took a
minute or so. Breathing heavily Ed took hold of the fabric of his
shirt with the automail arm, hissing through clenched teeth as he
just ripped what was left of it off, causing just a few seconds of
discomfort as the fabric brushed against uncovered wounds. "I've
never seen them before...I don't know who they were..." He still
felt sick.

The
Colonol shoved Ed gently back down on his stomach, leaving his back
exposed. "Hm." Roy spread more ointment over Ed's
shoulders, rubbing gentle circles with his thumbs. "Could you
recognize them again if you saw them?" He taped a fresh swathe
of gauze over the wounds.

Roy
frowned again. "You have some kind of laceration on your hip.
Roll onto your side."

Once more
Edward was glad that his face was flushed, also glad that the Colonol
couldn't see his face for that matter, as, wincing, he did as told.
Why was it those hands on his back sent shivers down his spine?
"Probably..."

Roy ran a
finger gently down what looked like a long scratch that started on
the flat plane of Edward's stomach, curving slightly inward over the
bones of his hip and disappearing into the waistband of his pants. He
pulled the fabric down slightly, not quite far enough for indecency,
inspecting the wound.

At the
soft sound of Edward shifting he looked up at the boy's face and
suddenly flushed, realizing that he was close enough for his breath
to cast warm over Edward's stomach. Roy's dark eyes glittered as he
hastily jerked back and began applying ointment to the gash with
slightly trembling fingers.

Despite
being dead set on not looking at Roy at all through this ordeal, a
pause as long as that and the way the older man's fingers faltered,
the feeling of his breath warm against his skin and goddamnit all the
location was enough to have Ed wishing he wore looser pants.
Wait. Rewind. WHAT?!

Roy tried
(and failed) not to think about the fact that Edward Elric was
currently reclining on his couch half-naked. His thumb abruptly
stopped rubbing its absent circles on Edward's hip as he came back to
himself and realized that Something Perfectly Natural was currently
happening to him (oh can't think about the boy that way, he's
vulnerable, Mustang, it would be irresponsible not to mention
illogical)--

--And,
judging from the state of Edward's trousers, to Edward.

Oh dear.

Roy
Mustang, veteran of one of the most horrible wars history has known,
murderer of hundreds, hardened soldier, flushed a brilliant shade of
crimson as he raised his eyes to Edward's, fingers still lightly
brushing the other man's hip.

Now that
was different...not to mention slightly disturbing... Edward finally
gave in to curiosity and slowly turned his head to look over his
shoulder, freezing as he saw the look on the Colonol's face...

Mental
slap, Ed, this is just a dream. Has to be. No, a nightmare, where
else would you be attracted to ROY MUSTANG?! Shit...it hurt too much
to be dream...Well there went that excuse, now what, Fullmetal?

But he
couldn't move, well, his mind was shouting for him to run like hell
and never look back, but his body was doing a damn good job of
ignoring it. He saw a flicker of something in deep pools of ebony,
god they were beautiful, and the way--

NO.
NOIDIDNOTJUSTTHINKABOUTHIMTHATWAYNO. OHMYGODIDID.

And all
the while the little voice inside his head was planning suicide. What
the hell is happening to me!?

Roy felt
as if he was falling, inevitably, faster, the world he knew blurring
away from him in a rush of speed and vertigo.

He leaned
forward and rested his face against the side of Edward's hip, a small
rough noise low in his throat, hand tightening on the cloth of
Edward's waistband.

The
blonde felt the heat rising to his face and was vaguely aware he must
look like a tomato by now, well, a tomato with yellow on top.
"T-Taisa w-what in th-the h-hell are y-you d-d-doing!?"

Roy
glanced up at Edward, dark hair falling across his face. "Do you
want me to stop?" he asked, forcing the words through the
rapidly rising haze of desire. His hands were sliding up Edward's
body of their own accord.

Edward
smelled of warm skin and the mint of the liniment, underlaid with
sweat. It was making it hard to concentrate.

The
all-too-flustered alchemist swallowed the lump that had been rising
in his throat. "W-wha....T-Tai...s-s-sa...?!" His voice was
breathy, stuttering, gasping, faltering words seemed to retreat from
the tip of his tongue and down the back of his throat, as though
trying to choke him with their existance.
"Y-you...t-t-touching...I-I-I...y-you... "

What in
the hell was going on here? He couldn't make sense of it, this
rushing feeling, dizziness, was it the heat? Wait, where did the heat
come from?!

He
couldn't even put together a string of words to make a sentence,
mumbling and nonsense the only thing out of his mouth, and then
nothing at all, just lips moving and no sound but a confused and
slightly frightened squeak. And then...

"Don't
stop..."

Was that
really his voice? God did he just say that? Like THAT? It sounded to
his ears like he...wanted...like that was begging...why...but
for some reason he couldn't seem to convince himself that any of this
was really wrong.

He froze.
Roy inhaled, exhaled. He leaned in, pressing his lips to Edward's
hip, then pulled himself up to lie next to Edward.

Roy
reached out and touched Edward's face, very lightly, dark eyes almost
lost.

Ed
shivered slightly at the touch, gulping again and meeting the
Colonol's gaze. "T...t-Taisa..."

"Roy,"
he corrected absently, propped up on one elbow. "And you're...
Edward." He tasted the name like a new flavor, exotic yet
reminiscent of home.

"Edward."
On impulse, he brushed a strand of golden hair back and bent down.
Ed's lips tasted faintly of blood.

Golden
eyes widened in shock for a moment and then a secondary program
kicked in. Grinning on the inside, Ed leaned closer so that his lips
were right next to Roy's ear, and whispered breathily. "Don't
you like it when I call you Taisa?" He slid his arms around
Roy's neck and curled one leg up to hook around Roy's waist, pressing
his body up against the older alchemist. "Don't
you...Taiiisaaa..." Damn was it hard to keep a steady voice
through that kind of contact, Ed noted to himself.

He also
noted the way that last part came out without him even planning on
it, in a dizzy reaction to his own bold movement.

Roy
hissed in a breath, hips rocking forward of their own volition. He
threaded cool fingers through Edward's hair, one hand sliding up his
chest to tilt the boy's chin up. Roy bit his neck not-so-gently, as
he had no words to respond with, he answered in actions...

The young
boy stiffled a moan at Roy's ear, followed by a jagged gasping and a
shiver as those fingers trailed up bare skin to alter the angle of
his head. "TaisaaAAA!" The word melted into a cry of
pain, still fervently laced with desire, as the blonde tensed, flesh
hand clutching tightly at the Colonol's shirt, while metal fingers
had begun to tear the fabric, trembling, involuntarily pressing his
body even harder against the older man.

The dark
haired Colonol framed Edward's face with his hands. "Shhhhh,"
Roy soothed, calm words at odds with his trembling lips. "It's
alright..." His hands trailed down, caressing the angle of
Edward's jaw, smoothing his hair back from his neck, brushing against
bare chest, and lower...

The
blonde shivered again, moving a bit so that his lips brushed against
Roy's neck, his head tilted more and Edward caught the older
alchemist's earlobe gently between his teeth and nibbled, purring at
the Colonol's light touch.

Roy
gasped, arching against him, nails digging into the closest available
object--warm flesh. Heat, and a dizzy spinning, and oh. Very close
now. His eyes fell into thin shining slits, mouth open.

Ed's left
hand moved down Roy's arm, clutching desperately at the fabric, mouth
opening to emit a small gasp as he felt nails digging into his skin.
A thin trail of saliva stretched for only a moment between the
Colonol's ear and the tip of Edward's tongue, his throat dry despite
wetness of lips and tongue. "Taisaaa... I've never...done
anything...like...this before..." His voice was a bit shaky,
nervous, but not afraid. But damn, did he wish he wore looser pants!
He never knew how much that hurt!

"I
am not exactly... familiar with this type of... situation either,"
Roy muttered. He relaxed his hands with an effort, moving them down
Edward's stomach until they grasped his waistband lightly, tugging at
it. "Shall I do the honors?"

Ed
swallowed hard, wriggling a bit to push his boots off without the use
of his hands and without moving too much. He let out a yelp of pain
when, in his little fit of wriggling, gravity took its rightful place
and, still clutching Roy's arm and shoulder, he managed somehow to
end up falling off the couch, pulling Roy with him. Edward's face
flushed furiously at how he'd ended up pulling the Colonol down on
top of him. It was a rather compromising position to say the least.

Roy made
a sort of "oof" noise, eyes wide; then his shocked
expression dissolved into shaking laughter. His mirth faded as he
realized the advantages of their current respective positions.
Shifting, he smiled down at Edward. "I hope you're
quite--ahh--quite comfortable, because I'm liking being"--his
breath caught as the boy moved under him--"being on top..."

Ed
blinked a few times and nodded dumbly for a second, trying to keep an
otherwise straight face. "H-haiiiIIi TaisaaAaaa..."
He could feel the Colonol's chest rise and fall when he breathed, or
rather the pressure that was applied and then released, and all that
moving around wasn't helping him keep his voice in check.

"Are
you having trouble breathing?" Roy asked innocently, bastard
that he was. "Perhaps you need some mouth-to-mouth." He
bent and kissed Edward, tongue slipping into the other boy's hot
mouth.

Edward
released a moan into the kiss, tongue eagerly engaging Roy's in
arousing play. One hand moved to thread human fingers through raven
locks, the other roaming down to the small of the older man's back,
pulling, at the same time as he arched against the body above him.

Roy
shuddered as he allowed himself to be pulled down, stifling a moan at
that long-desired contact. His hips seemed to surge back of their own
volition, needing to move, needing to feel...

There was
a shiver that ran down the length of Edward's spine, as he collapsed
the short distance back to the floor, squirming slightly as both
hands moved to Roy's shoulders, pushing down, the only thought
running through his head at the moment was that everything, all this
cloth was too restraining it was suffocating and he
needed it off...now.

Responding
to the other man's unspoken wishes, Roy flicked open Edward's
buttons, a soft zwip of fabric rubbing against fabric.

There was
a sharp gasp and Ed's automail fingers carved at the exposed wood of
the floor, golden eyes stared openly at Roy, helplessly, but at the
same time begging, pleading, needing. As if to affirm the look
in those golden eyes, flushed pink lips parted to speak.
"Taisaaa....onegaaaiii....Taisaa..."

Hair
falling into his eyes, Roy kissed Edward's neck, working his way
down... Here the slant of a collarbone, here the peak of a nipple,
Edward's flat stomach tasting of salt, and lower...

Ed
shuddered, head tilting back as his eyes closed, back arching against
the sensation of warm lips and tongue as hands clawed for purchase on
either wood or carpet, lower body practically squirming beneath Roy's
warmth. Strangled moans parted from deep in his throat each time Roy
found a particularly sensitive area, and his body would relax and
stiffen suddenly again, fingers constantly flexing in an attempt to
release some of that intense hoard of pent up energy.

Roy's
hands had somehow moved of their own volition, one splayed in the
small of Edward's back, another pressing into his hip. Edward's skin
tasted dark, richer than normal... The flavors rolled around in his
mouth, warm and damp.

Edward's
left hand moved from the ruined carpet, fingers becoming entwined
once more in the Colonol's dark hair, nudging against his head with
not entirely subtle suggestion. He didn't even hear his own voice
when the words, barely audible, slipped from flushed lips. They
sounded distant.

"Taisa...please...take
me...Taisaaa..."

Roy
obliged.

Interesting
how skin could take on a hardened quality, yet still be velvet-soft.
Interesting how completely Edward filled his mouth. Roy grazed his
teeth lightly along the edge of the skin, eliciting moans.

Ed's
breath caught in his throat as a dizzying sensation flooded through
him. Hips thrust against that searing heat without warning, and his
brain vaguely registered a gagging sound from Roy, but god the
tightening! The hot and the wet, Ed's mind was
spinning, moans slipping free more and more frequently, louder each
time he felt the light scraping of teeth, and despite his attempts to
keep from choking Roy it was so damn hard not to move
with it, against it.

The older
man made a small noise as Edward moved against him, shifting his
focus, tongue rolling over the tip, wanting to hear those sounds from
Edward, triumphant in the knowledge that he, Roy, was coaxing them...

"Nnnhh...."
Edward bit his lip until he could taste the metallic tinge of blood
seeping into his mouth, automail scraping against the wood floor and
splintering it as he moaned Roy's name, practically squirming at the
subtlety, it was torture but it was really fing good
torture!

Roy
released Edward's flesh with one final light bite, and moved up his
body again, shoving his hair out of his face as he looked down at
Edward's face. "Edward..." His shirt was still on, Roy
realized, if slightly battered from Ed's automail. He tugged at it
impatiently.

Ed was
panting, in much the same state as he had been when Roy had first
walked into the office, though now he was sweaty and flushed for a
different reason. Golden eyes looked up to meet black and he
whispered, "Why...the fuck...did you stop...damnit..."
Alright, that came out a little harsher than he'd meant for it to.

The
Colonol laughed and kissed Edward, knowing that the other man could
taste himself in Roy's mouth, then divested himself of his shirt.
Hands on his waistband, Roy paused and looked to Edward for approval.

Edward
gave his commanding officer a very obvious
'I-don't-care-what-the-fuck-you-do-just-H URRY-UP' look, that is,
before he divulged himself with some nice eye candy, AKA Roy's bare
chest.

Roy
rolled his eyes and slipped out of his pants, seemingly entirely at
ease with his nakedness. He stretched like a leopard, enjoying the
feel of Edward's eyes on him, watching the hard play of his muscles.
Roy quirked an eye at Edward, knowing that he was driving the other
man crazy, daring him to do something about it.

Hungry
golden eyes took in every flawless inch of milky white skin,
fantasies playing out in his head that nearly made him explode. The
blonde noticed Roy's eyes on him, watching as he watched him, taking
it all in. He was faintly aware that his mouth hung open slightly,
drool starting to run down his chin, but he made no move to wipe it
away. Edward could only stare and want and be tortured to the point
of snapping, but he couldn't even move.

Roy made
a humming noise to himself, as if to say, "Hmmmmmm, wonderful
weather we're having, isn't it..." He smirked at Edward's
poleaxed expression, reaching behind the other boy's head and untying
his hair with a flick of his wrist, letting the golden locks tumble
down.

Almost
instantly a thought struck him and he reacted, left hand reaching up
and snatching Roy's wrist, not letting go as Ed stared into Roy's
eyes. The message seemed to not even need to be spoken. His eyes said
'Not on the floor...'

Roy's
eyes flicked to the massive desk and back to Ed, a wicked grin
crossing his face. He quirked an eyebrow at Edward.

Ed's eyes
followed where Roy had looked, and then back to Roy's eyes. He
nodded. That would do.

On a whim
Roy kissed Edward's forehead before leading him over to the desk,
smoothing Edward's hair back, the tawny strands cool under his
fingers.

Completely
forgetting that his pants were pulled down to his knees, Ed stumbled
and lost his balance, tripping to land, a lot harder than intended,
stomach down on the afforementioned desk. Fuck that hurt. Knocked the
wind out of him too, and he clung to the desk just to keep himself
from sliding to the ground. He coughed, and noticed red on the desk
in front of him, reminding him that he was, in fact, injured.

"Ah!"
Roy bent down to Edward, examining the damage. "Are you alright?
What hurts?" He clinically tugged off the cumbersome pants and
checked Edward's bandages to see if something'd come undone, brows
drawn into a deep vee.

"F-f-f-f-fine..."
Ed managed to blurt out, pulling himself up onto the desk only to
sprawl out, trying to catch his breath again.

"Are
you sure?" Roy said, looking up at Edward through a fall of dark
hair, suddenly aware that one hand was hovering just above Ed's
shoulder, the other splayed across Edward's stomach, that Edward was
blushing a particularly attractive debauched shade, and of the
crucial point that both of them were completely naked... He tried in
vain to catch his breath, but it sped up of its own volition.

"Taaaaiisaaaaa...."
If that temptingly seductive note didn't assure that he was perfectly
fine, he didn't know what would. But just to play the part, he put up
the helpless act. "Taaisaa....maybe I don't feel so
well...it's just soooo hoooooot..." Edward stretched,
arching his back off the desk. "Nnnnnhh..." He
twisted slightly, back still off the desk and then back down again,
head tilted to the side with eyes closed. He could play the
temptation too, after all.

Roy
swallowed convulsively. His hand trailed down Ed's body as Ed
stretched away, stroking slowly. He leaned forward and lightly bit
the curve of Edward's hip.

"Taaaaaiiiissssaaaaaa....."
Taunting. Ed was taunting him. Daring him to take just what he
wanted, because damn if the man wasn't taking long enough as it was.

Amused at
Edward's impatience, Roy shifted his mouth, resting his elbows on the
desk, hands once again pressed into the small of Edward's back... The
older man took Edward in again, wanting to give him the satisfaction
that had been denied, wanting to hear him whimper again.

And
whimper Ed did, among other things, like moaning, panting, trying
like hell to curse Roy for drawing this out so long and failing
miserably as his words came out in more little pleasure sounds rather
than steamed insults.

The dark
haired man would've laughed, but don't people always say that it's
bad manners to laugh with your mouth full? Roy moved faster, one hand
reaching down to caress himself compulsively, moving in rhythm.

Ed bit
his lip again to keep from screaming in pure ecstasy, strangled moans
filtering up out of him, as he propped himself up just slightly with
his automail arm, human hand tangling fingers in damp black, guiding
subconsciously as he let his head hang back, jaw slack and breaths
heavy and quick.

Edward
felt like his entire body was on fire, and he would explode if this
went on any longer, he was almost sure of it.

"Rooooiiiitthththinnnnhhaaah....!"

The
addressed man rolled his eyes up to see Edward's face, releasing his
grip to breathe gently across Edward's skin, then licking gently
around the underside, the tip, salt on his tongue, almost bitter...
He could feel how close Edward was, how close he himself was. Roy
made a small, desperate noise.

"Nnnnnnnnnhhhh.....TaaaaaaaisaaAAaAaaaA!!
" Ed's back arched swiftly off of the desk, entire body
tensing, the hand in Roy's hair suddenly gripping uncomfortably
tight, pulling, but only for a matter of moments before his entire
body went slack again, back hitting the desk with a loud thud, body
trembling and breath irregular but slowly calming down. Golden eyes
were closed and golden locks spilled in an ornate mess about his
head, some strands clinging to damp skin of neck and face.

Roy
tensed as his own release came to him, panting as he lifted his head
and flung it back, thigh muscles spasming.

He
relaxed and swallowed, black eyes slitting open, tongue darting out
to lick his glistening lips.

"Not
used to these kinds of things my ass..." Ed huffed once he'd
gotten his breath back, not even bothering to move from where he was.
"Get up here damnit I can't see you..."

The older
man moved up to the desk, for once too spent to have a witty
response, and reclined next to Edward. Roy sighed.

"Roy...."
Edward reached out to brush damp black locks out of the Colonol's
face, and sighed. "This...was going to be the last report I
turned in to you..." The words were heavy as if lined with pure
lead, and barely audible because he could barely bring himself to say
them. Tears welling in golden eyes as his fingers gently traced the
contours of Roy's face.

Dark
brows drew into a deep vee. "What are you saying?" The
question held no anger, only concern. Roy caught up Edward's hand and
planted a kiss in the palm, watching the other man, waiting for an
explanation.

"Ever
since...I restored Al...I can't help but feel like I'm missing a part
of myself...but everything's still here...I don't understand..."
Edward closed his eyes to avoid having to see the look on that face.
"I feel like I'm dying..."

The Flame
Alchemist stilled. Liquid black eyes fixed on Edward's face. "I
don't know what to say," Roy said carefully, neutrally.

"How
can you always be so fucking calm!" Golden eyes were open now,
though squinted with hurt and anger, glistening with tears. "How
can you just sit there like nothing happened!" Ed made an
effort, mostly with his automail limbs, to shove Roy off of the desk
and onto the floor, not so gently. "Don't you ever feel
anything?! Don't you ever break!" He was leaning over the
side of the desk, staring down at Roy as tears fell, he was pissed,
but mostly at himself.

"You
don't have to put up a mask for me, Roy!"

Sprawled
on the floor, the Colonol gingerly felt the back of his head for
wounds. Roy stared up at Edward. "Maybe..." he breathed in,
closing his eyes, trying for composure. "Maybe I don't know any
other way to behave. Maybe you... bring out the vulnerability in me.
Maybe that scares me."

"Bastard..."
The seething blonde spat, vehemence obvious but undertoned with
obvious hurt, rolling over onto his other side on the desk and
curling into a fetal position and shedding silent tears. Edward felt
suddenly cold.

"Don't
do that." Suddenly fragility crept into Roy's voice, pain
showing through. He pulled himself with the aid of his desk, reaching
for Edward's shoulder. "I'm sorry, I'm not sure what I've done
to upset you, Edward--I--Edward, please. I... care for you... very
much. I apologize. Sometimes I am..." He winced, remembering.
"Less than tender. It's... difficult."

"And
it's because of all those things that it hurts even
more...because...I.can't.stay...." The fragile boy cringed
under Roy's touch, one sob audible before Edward regained control
again.

The older
man drew back as if Edward had burned him, pain openly showing on his
face. "...Edward?" Roy fought to contain control of his
voice, but it broke slightly just the same. "...Why? Why? I can
change if you need me to. Please, just tell me. I don't want to--"
oh the dreaded word again-- "lose you. Please, Edward."
Voice low and urgent now, pleading.

"But
what if I don't have a choice...." Fullmetal curled up
even more, hugging himself tightly. "Touka Koukan, Roy...I
couldn't have restored Al without losing something...but I'm
still physically whole...so what was it that I lost Roy, what
else would there be for me to lose?"

"'What
if' doesn't count," Roy said gently. "As long as you want
me, the only way for you to lose me is for me to leave you. I'm not
going to leave you unless you want me to..." Oh, a new wash of
fears at that one.

"You
don't get it, Roy...I lost something!" Edward slid
off of the desk and walked past Roy, grabbing the man's coat from the
rack near the door and wrapping it around himself as he took a seat
on one of the cleaner couches, huddled there in the coat. "I'm
fucking scared, Roy...I can't shake the feeling that I'm
slowly dying from the inside out..."

Roy
distractedly tugged on his pants. "It's probably all in your
mind, Edward," he rationalized. "Even if there's a...
problem... you can see people, doctors..."

"Roy...I...I
don't know how to explain it...but I think Al understands...it was
like that for him too..." Golden eyes looked pleadingly to the
older man. "I can't stay here...take the watch, I can't stay in
the military..I can't stay your dog...but I can stay your pet...I
don't want to disappear...."

Dark eyes
flickered. "What are you saying?" Roy asked again, quietly.
"Where are you going? What's happening, Edward?"

"I
don't want to go anywhere...I just want to stay by your
side...but I don't want to be a dog of the military anymore..."
Ed reached his automail arm out of the coat towards Roy. "I just
need you to hold me and remind me that I'm still alive...don't let
me disappear, Roy...please don't let me disappear..."

Roy
enveloped Edward in his arms, rocking him slowly back and forth,
kissing that golden hair, taking in the scent of cool, damp locks.
"Don't... It's alright. Shhh. It'll be alright. I'm not going to
let you slip away... You can quit the military if you want. Please,
Edward... Please..."

He didn't
even know what he was asking for.

Edward
pulled the older man down to the couch, somehow managing to give him
enough room to stretch out before he curled up on top of Roy, the
coat now covering both of them, as Ed let the warmth soak through his
body and mind. Ever since he'd restored Al, he hadn't felt truly
alive...but here...here in Roy's arms, Edward was more than just
alive...

Still
frowning faintly, Roy stroked the nape of Edward's neck, rubbing
tension out of those shoulders. "Please," he repeated
softly, hardly even aware of his words.

"Thank
you....for everything..." Their location smelled faintly of
smoke and tinder, aftereffects of the flame, and the smells of sex,
sweat, blood, heat. But most of all, Edward was calmed by a smell
that he alone could recognize anywhere...and that was the scent of
Colonol Roy Mustang. It put him at peace, and the warmth of the other
man so close...he was so tired...his mind floating high above the
clouds in dreamland.

"Aishiteru..."

"Aishiteru,"
Roy told the sleeping boy, and held him close.

God knew
they needed this small bit of comfort... If only for tonight.

Please
review, constructive criticism and questions appreciated, flames will
be deflected back at you by Roy. n.n;
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Unsettling Affairs