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Pillow Talk	By : tenohikari Category: Gundam (all others) > General Views: 5704 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own the Gundam series, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 5
- 6
- 7
Title: Pillow Talk (Chapter 5)
Author: Tenohikari
Fandom: Gundam Seed Destiny
Pairing: Kira/Shinn (um... yay for
non-existent pairings)
Rating: PG-13/R
Warning: A little AU-ish but there is
spoilers for the series thus far and shounen ai/yaoi themed if you
haven't gotten that from that pairing. Also the rating has gone up
for this chapter for implied adult situations. Again, if this offends
you in any way go BACK now.
More warnings: Sorry for the delay. This
chapter was VERY rushed and unbetad, so all errors are my own (I
guess it would double as a legal disclaimer, wouldn't it? No? Okay.
Legal Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Seed Destiny. Gundammit.)
-----------------------------------
Chapter Five
"Hello, this is Mayu! Sorry, but I'm not
available right now. So please leave your name and number after the
beep, and I'll get back to you as soon as I can. Ja matta ne!"
In the past, Shinn would have left a message
despite knowing that his little sister would never respond to it. Now
more than ever did he want to hear her, innocent, melodious voice.
Not just a recording to cheer him up when he was feeling at his
lowest. He needed the reassurance that everything would be all right.
Maybe she could even give him sisterly advice, on his current
dilemma. Now here Shinn was again, brooding in the darkness of his
shared room, racking his brain, while staring at the pink cell phone
that had belonged to his sister with the futile hope that it would
ring.
Yet as the long months rolled into years, he
grimly accepted the fact that despite he needed to stop dwelling on
the past. Stop nursing the image of him standing over the bodies of
his parents and sister. A part of him desperately wanted to move on
with his life, to once again open his heart to others. Like his
comrades onboard the Minerva. Stellar. Kira.
What was he going to do? There was no sense in
confronting Kira while he was unconscious, and most certainly not
while Athrun was at his side. If possible, his frown darkened even
more at the thought of the two of them together. He had learned from
both Lunamaria and Rey that Athrun, pilot of Justice, had fought
alongside the Freedom. Alongside his Kira.
Comrads... Friends... Old lovers perhaps?
He clenched his teeth, throwing an arm across
his face as if to obscure the mental image that was now assaulting
his mind. He couldn't rid himself of the blood smears on the
durasteel floor where Freedom's pilot had laid. Then there was the
fear that he was losing Kira to the FAITH officer or worse, to death.
As much as he wanted to go to the infirmary and shake an explanation
from the brunette, Shinn didn't want to see Athrun there. Athrun
protecting Kira from him.
Shinn squeezed his sister's last memento with
white knuckles, before imbedding his face into a pillow. How many
nights did he spend wishing that the fluffy softness was the lean
form of his lover? He couldn't recall how many times his hand would
brushed against the soft fabric, imagining it to be those familiar
dark chocolate locks that he would twine them about his fingers. His
thoughts didn't dare go further than just a simple touch. Not when
his roommate was often awake in those ungodly hours of the night,
just like he was now.
Cracking one weary red eye open, Shinn watched
the blonde from where he lay, working diligently at the terminal. He
never knew what kind of work Rey would be doing so late, but whatever
it was seemed important. The other boy didn't even glance in his
direction, when he got up and dressed to take a stroll around the
ship.
Automatically his feet led him first towards the
hanger for simulation practice; but then he turned away and headed
somewhere else. It wasn't too long ago he had use to spend almost
every hour of free time he had training himself to defeat his enemy.
His enemy. His boyfriend.
God! It wasn't fair! Why did it all have to turn
out like this? He had promised to protect Stellar. Despite killing so
many people, she had remained innocent until her last breathe when
she died in his arms. He had wanted to avenge her death - and it
nearly cost him the life of another he cared for.
Why of all people - did Kira have to be the
pilot of the Freedom? He lost count of how many times the laid
together talking. Shinn had told his boyfriend that he was a mobile
suit pilot. He had told him what he fought for, the tragedies of war,
and his own losses. Kira would offer words of comfort, claiming he
understood...
But all this time...
Shinn's face contorted into a scowl as he
remembered that Atha woman and how the Freedom had protected her more
than once. It had been Kira who had piloted such a formidable mobile
and disarmed his Impulse in their first fight. The same Kira who used
to lay in bed with him and lied about it all!
Grinding his teeth together, the raven-haired
boy vented his frustration on a nearby wall, pounding hard against it
with his fists, until he finally broke into a sob. Luckily, the
hallway was empty, not that he cared what people thought of him at
the moment. Slowly, he sank to he knees, resting his forehead against
the wall's solid surface as tears stained his cheeks.
The brunette had told him that he loved him not
too long ago... but was that a lie too?
-----------------------
Kira decided it would probably be best if the
ones holding him captive didn't know he was awake. He wasn't sure how
long pretending to be asleep would fool them and from being
interrogated. As he lay motionless with his wrists bound together,
his mind was running a mile per minute. The teen knew he shouldn't
depend on Athrun to get him out of this situation. Also Lacus and
Waldfeld were now space and he wouldn't be able to get a hold of
them.
What else could he do? The brunette didn't know
how many people were watching him. He heard the quiet foot steps in
the room, indicating that at least a nurse was present after the
doctor had left. Was Athrun still sitting at his bedside? He couldn't
start testing the limit of his restraints until he was alone. Even if
he did manage to get free, what about security? He was unarmed and
what if there were armed guards posted outside the door. What about
Shinn, was he still waiting outside?
He would rather deal with the soldiers ready to
gun him down then have to confront those accusing garnet eyes.
Nothing in the world could prepare him for trying to confess to his
lover, that he had lied to him from day one. If he hadn't a prisoner
of war trying to appear unconscious, Kira would have frowned. How was
he going to convince Shinn that his true feelings weren't false as
well? How would he be able to explain his reasons to the pilot
Impulse who saw him as an enemy and defeated him in battle?
Which reminded Kira again that even if he was
lucky enough to escape the infirmary, passed armed ZAFT soldiers, and
managed to find the ship's hanger, hijack a mobile suit; how was he
going to get to ORB with Minerva on his tail? The battleship was very
much like the Archangel and for all he knew they could be underwater,
or in space, or somewhere stationed with literally hundreds of ZAFT
mobile suits and ships waiting to shoot him down.
"Looks like you're screwed, Yamato,"

Kira grudgingly had to admit. He just had to hold out as long as he
could until friends in high places could come to his rescue. Unless
of course his captives planned to execute him.
Unconsciously he held his breath upon hearing
the doors open briefly, before closing shut. Did someone leave or
enter? Kira couldn't tell with his eyes closed. There was no longer
the sound of footsteps echoing across linoleum which meant that the
medical staff was probably on break or done for the day. Day? Night?
He wasn't sure of the time, he had counted the seconds from the
moment he had awoken, and had pretended to be asleep for almost an
hour.
It was only did he hear the voice of his best
friend, did he exhale.
"You can open your eyes, Kira," Athrun
spoke softly, "It's just us."
At the other teenager's reassuring tone, the
brunette dared to slowly crack one eye open. He cautiously scanned
the room, just in case, before glancing over at Athrun sitting at his
bedside. The other coordinator was staring down at him and his lips
twitched into a tiny smile of relief.
"How did you know I was awake?" he
rasped before trying to clear his throat.
Athrun reached backwards to retrieve a cup
sitting on the counter behind him. "You normally sleep with your
mouth open," he informed him, while tilting the cup down a bit.
Allowing Kira to drink the cool water and letting it ease his parched
throat.
"Do I?" Kira asked afterwards, licking
his lips while Athrun drew away. "I wouldn't know since I'm
asleep when it happens and..." he trailed off and remembered
while he was sedated. "The Archangel..."
"Got away."
Relief washed over him like balm. His sister and
comrades had managed to escape as his friend explained that one of
the ships's engines were deployed to fool them into thinking it had
sunk. After an investigation, they had learned the truth and the

"legged ship" was most likely heading back to ORB.
Cagalli was going to be furious with him. This
was probably the third time she was going to believe him dead.
"Look, Kira," Athrun began in a hushed
voice that immediately alerted the brunette to pay attention. "The
Mineva is heading towards Gibraltar. I don't think Captain Gladys has
reported that we captured a member of the Clyne Faction yet..."
The Clyne Faction. Lacus. Kira's eyes narrowed,
were they going to use him to get to her somehow? Over his dead body!
They may not have had a romantic relationship like everyone had
believed they did at first; but they were rather close. She was his
friend and he would do nothing to put her in danger. Too many people
depended and adored 'Lacus-sama', and if anything were to happen, the
imposter would take over her place permanently.
"...I'm going to make some arrangements,"
the former pilot of the SAVIOR Gundam told him. "To help you
escape."
"How?"
"Some old teammates of mine owe me a
favor."
Old teammates...? Kira then remembered his
conversation with Milly back in Diocuia. Dearka Elthman was going to
help him?
"So just sit tight and don't try anything.
I mean it, Kira!" Athrun hissed, grasping his shoulders and
shook him. "If you try to escape on your own, they won't
hesitate to kill you. So promise me! Just stay here in the infirmary
and try not to draw any attention to yourself."
The other boy began to feel dizzy when his
friend continued to shake him, and wouldn't stop until he answered.

"I promise... but." He sighed thankfully when his friend
finally stopped. "Athrun, why don't you come with me? You don't
belong here with them."
Kira blinked at the sudden deja-vu those words
had caused. It reminded him so much of the other's request when they
fought each other in the first war. Now he was asking Athrun to
abandon his comrades...
Shinn.
His stomach growled, breaking the tense silence.
Kira looked sheepishly back at his friend who only smirked. He was
rather relieved of the sudden change of subject.
"I'll go get you something to eat. The
doctor won't be back until later and the security outside won't
respond to any of your requests, so is there anything you need before
I go?"
He held up his arms. "I don't suppose you
could remove my restraints? They kind of itch." Listening to his
friend snort and mumble that he would be back soon, Kira felt a
little relaxed. Despite their past arguments, his friendship with
Athrun would hopefully keep him from rotting in prison or executed.
However, Gibraltar is a ZAFT base situated on
the extreme southern tip of Spain. Even with Dearka's help they were
surrounded by PLANT's military, not to mention the Mediterranean Sea.
It short, it was no easy task, and he didn't know what his role would
be in the escape plan. He didn't want to be a burden to hid comrades;
but Without the Freedom, how was he going to fight his battles
properly?
-----------------------
After washing his face of the embarrassing tear
marks, Shinn wandered the halls again until his body reminded him
that he hadn't eaten since the morning he defeated the Freedom. He
wasn't sure if he could hold anything down though. Especially when he
overheard some of the nurses gossip to each other how handsome the
prisoner was, or how Athrun never left his side. It just made him
nauseous.
Shinn was just about to head back to his room
until his eye caught the sight of another red uniform. Quickly he
sidestepped into another corridor and watched with a glare on his
face, Athrun Zala walk pass him. The older boy looked to be in deep
thought; he didn't even lift his head to acknowledge him.
He grounded his teeth together and resisted the
urge to say something vile to the other pilot. Shinn wouldn't
physically assault a superior officer, but he wouldn't hold back
verbally. If the prisoner hadn't been his Kira, he would have
remarked how Athrun had abused his power and didn't deserve to be in
FAITH. However, a part of him was grateful that Athrun had done so,
or Kira may have died and he would have never known what had become
of him. Still...
'It should have been me.'
Then it quickly occurred to him that Athrun was
walking away from the infirmary. Was Kira alone now? No, the medical
staff would still be there, not to mention the guards. Still ... it
wouldn't hurt to see what condition the brunette was in now.
At first he tried to walk casually towards the
section of the ship the pilot of the Freedom was located at. Their
prisoner. Before he knew it, he had practically been sprinting down
the hallways at the thought of actually talking to his lover. Kira
would explain himself and his actions. To give Shinn the answers he
desperately needed to know before the questions drove him mad.
Did you really love me?
He quickly came to a quiet halt, peered around
the corner and couldn't believe his luck. The guards that had been
stationed at the door were gone! Although they're absence would have
worried him, he didn't waste any time to check around and enter the
room carefully. Good fortune seemed to be his that day, for not only
was Athrun, the guards gone; but the medical staff as well.
Leaving only Kira, alone in the room. Though,
good fortune didn't last long as Shinn noted that his lover was
unconscious. His excitement was replaced with disappointment that he
wouldn't be able to get his answers after all. Still... since he was
here... Cautiously he approached the bed, holding his breath as he
reached out with trembling fingers to caress those chocolate locks.
'So soft and beautiful. I can't
believe he's here... I can't believe this is really happening.'
It was as if they were back in ORB all over
again. There first night together, he had been unable to sleep. All
he could do was watch his lover while he slept, mesmerized by his
gentle features. He used to stay up for hours, until dawn even,
studying the person who had changed his life. His fate.
Growing bolder, he trailed his hand alongside
the other coordinator's face, stopping when he gently pressed the
tips of his fingers mouth. How many times had Kira kissed him with
those soft-as-silk parted lips? How many times did his whisper words
of endearment in his ear?
"Shinn."
He was startled to look up quickly to see
amethyst eyes looking back at him. How long had he been awake? Did
the doctor or Athrun know? Those were questions Shinn should have
been thinking but staring back at his lover now who, despite the
bandages wrapped around his arm and forehead - looked completely
fine.
Better than Stellar had the two times he had
pulled her out of a mobile suit cockpit. Stellar. Shinn gritted his
teeth, quickly pulling his hand back and stepped away. He averted his
eyes from Kira's and remembered why he was here.
"Tell me..." he managed, several
seconds later, "Tell me who you really are."
Kira wished he could have anticipated this
moment earlier so he could calmly explain everything to Shinn, rather
sitting there with his mouth hanging open. He wasn't surprised to
hear such a request. What probably shocked him the most was how
composed the younger boy seemed to be right now. He had expected
Shinn to yell at him in anger. To curse him for his lies. To cry at
being deceived in such a way. As he moved into a sitting position, he
saw Shinn tense for a moment, before trying to read his body. He
could see it with the way fiery red eyes scrutinized him, burning
into his skin.
Swallowing hard, he decided to stare at his
bound arms. Reminding himself that he was short on time. Athrun would
be back soon and as soon as they arrived at Gibraltar, he was
hopefully getting off this ship. Whether to be rescued or condemned;
he may not have the opportunity to talk to Shinn like this again.
"I am... who I told you I was," he
started out awkwardly. "I'm Kira Yamato."
"You didn't tell me you were a soldier."
"I'm not," Kira protested, "Not
anymore anyway."
"�Anymore�?"
"I... I used to be a soldier for the Earth
Alliance."
Shinn frowned darkly, quickly folding his arms
across his chest before he could use them to do anything he might
regret later. He hated the Earth Alliance as much as ORB, they were
responsible for the death of his family and Stellar ... and Kira
fought for both of them! Didn't he know about Logos and how the Blue
Cosmos wanted to wipe them all out!
"Two years ago," Kira added quickly as
he saw the furious storm brewing in the other's heated stare. "Only
because I wanted to protect my friends who couldn�t fight in mobile
suits like I could. The Archangel had defected and formed an alliance
with ORB and the Clyne-Faction. We don't wish for violence, that last
thing I wanted to do was fight again, but I know it's necessary to
bring peace - for all sides: Plant, Earth, and everyone caught in the
crossfire."
"I didn't want to lie to you at ORB,
Shinn," he continued. "It was just that after the war,
before I met you, I haven't done anything with my life."
Kira had lost count of all the times he spent
sitting on the porch. His gaze fixed only on the unchanging,
never-ending, ocean. All his dreams when he had been a naive tech
student were gone. Washed away with tides of war. All his potential
as an Ultimate Coordinator was stored up, hopefully never to see the
light of day. He didn't want others to know the origin of his birth.
Unlike George Glenn, who revealed the secret of his life's success as
the first coordinator in history, which had eventually started this
war. Kira didn't even want to imagine the chaos his secret would
cause.
"Unlike my friends who were able to move on
with their lives, I was still stuck in the past, and was ashamed of
it."
He finally looked up to meet his boyfriend's
gaze, hoping at least that Shinn would believe him.
"Why didn't you ever tell me when we were
together?" Shinn wanted to know. "You didn't trust me?"
"It wasn't about trust."
"It wasn't?"
"I wanted to... whenever we had our pillow
talks, I really wanted to tell you everything. Those moments we had
together were wonderful; but short and I didn't want to ruin them. I
didn't want to loose you..." Kira felt an invisible hand tighten
around his throat when he saw the look of doubt and conflict on the
other's face. "Or fight you, or hurt you in anyway. But if I
told you about me and my affiliation, I would have been putting my
allies in danger."
"Then it is about trust!" Shinn nearly
yelled. He took a deep breath, trying to calm himself down and
lowered his voice. "You thought I would use you-"
"No." Kira met his gaze evenly, before
shaking his head. "No, I wasn't worried about what you would do,
Shinn. I do trust you, and Athrun; but I couldn't afford to tell
either you anything, because of who you both are affiliated with."
"You and I are both driven by our goals,
and I do believe that we fight for the same reasons, just for
different people. Different causes."
"Who?"
"Gilbert Dullindal."
-----------------------
After her most recent concert with more singing
and dancing, followed shortly by another serious speech of
encouraging hope and peace, Meer Campbell was exhausted. It just
wasn't easy being PLANT'S princess, Lacus Clyne. Fortunatly the long
flight to Gibraltar would allow her some time for some much needed
shut eye. Yet her excitement to see Athrun again, the one whom she
considered to be a close friend (even if it probably wasn't neutral)
and shared her secret.
She couldn't wait to tell him all the exciting
things that have been going on at PLANT. Though he probably wouldn't
be interested, Athrun would smile and listen like the gentleman he
was. Meer also wanted to know how he had been fairing as well. It was
a pity they couldn't email one another, but she knew the fighting
must have kept him busy. At least now they would have a chance to
catch up... that is if she could get some sleep.
Glancing up front her notebook, where she
listened to music and typed almost endlessly about the day's events
in her diary, the songstress saw that she wasn't only one awake. The
Chairman of PLANT seated before her, and was also working, though it
appeared he was talking to someone. Worried that he may have been
talking to her, Meer quickly lowered the volume of the song she was
listening to, so that she would be able to hear him with the
earphones still in.
Much to her relief, he had not been speaking
directly to her. Meer heard two voices in conversation, one of course
was the Chairman, and the other belonged to the person he was
speaking with on his laptop's screen. Shrugging, she was about to
turn the volume of her newest demo back up, until Athrun's name was
mentioned.
"This is a rather unexpected development,"

the older man mused but did not sound discontent. "After all,
the Savior unit was destroyed by that person."
Meer's eyes widened and she managed to stop
herself from vocalizing her shock by placing a hand over her mouth.
Athrun was defeated and the Savior Gundam was destroyed? How was that
possible, he was supposed to be the best!
"Shall I take care of this problem?"
the young voice asked.
"No," the Chairman responded
immediately, "Just continue to monitor them until the Minerva
reaches Gibraltar. I will deal with him myself."
Who? The idol wonders to herself. Athrun?
Would he be punished for his defeat?
"I understand."
The conversation ended right after that, and
Meer watched the Chairmain recline back in his seat. A smile spreads
over Dullindal's pale face, and it's not the charmingly friendly one
she is used to seeing. The one that she sometimes believes is just
for show.
"It's time that Kira Yamato and I, meet
face to face."
-----------------------------------
Author's Notes:
Sorry for the long delay. Ever since my nephew
was born I've been spending most of my free time babysitting.
Writer's block is also responsible (as it always is). Again, this
story is un-betad, I just finished it today, even though I SHOULD be
studying for my finals
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