The Phoenix and His Demons

On the contrary, I do need to thank you for the reviews, after all I asked for them and I truly do appreciate them. Without feedback, I\'d never know what I was doing right or wrong. Personally I always question myself on whether I\'m very goot at keeping the characters \"true to character\" but then when it comes down to it, no one really can all the time without the character being flat and boring. That\'s what I love about this series, the characters are so well rounded and have a great depth to their personalities that you have a bit of room to work with what they do. It\'s what\'s drawn me to this series and kept me fascinated, addicted and dare I say obsessed. These are not one dimensional characterss and as humans have a wide variety of emotions, so do they.

With that said, this chapter is going to explore Ed\'s seemingly unfailing optimism. It could be argued that they\'re both a bit OOC in this, but then, as far as my story is concerned, it\'s been six years and if a person can\'t grow and change emotionally in that amount of time, there\'d be no story to write.

As for the war scene, I\'m glad you liked it. I really wanted to put in more detail but then I got to thinking, why? Wouldn\'t it be better to make the reader imagine their own nightmarish scenes? The concentration camps certainly aren\'t an obscure topic and anyone can look up an insane amount of information on them. I want the reader to find their own details that make them cringe. Also, I should mention, just in case, that in no way do I condone such actions nor do I wish to trivialize those horrible events.

Everyone else, thank you for your continued support and I shall endeavor to keep the updates coming as quickly as I can type them out. Enjoy!

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Reasons

Brig. Gen. Roy Mustang shoved his gloved hands in his pockets as he grudgingly made his way down the hallway of the dorms towards the room Edward and Alphonse would now be sharing. How had he gotten talked into this? Oh, that’s right, he hadn’t been ‘talked’ into it, he’d been threatened into it with a pair of pistols in his face. Edward hadn’t been seen since he dropped off his report the previous day and nothing but cold shoulders, disapprovingly glances and finally Hawkeye’s pistol laden threats had been sent his way. Now he had to apologize upon pain of death. He sighed as he came to a stop in front of the door and knocked lightly. It was several moments before the door was unlocked, opened and a slightly rumpled Fullmetal looked up at him with a cocked expression.

“What do you want?” He wasn’t very happy about this unexpected visit, but there wasn’t much he could do about it short of slamming the door in his face and that would just cause more trouble.

The dorms weren’t fancy in their furnishings, two beds, two dressers and two desks for each with a shared bathroom and shower connecting it to the next room. He managed a glance beyond the blonde into the room before he answered and found a dozen or more books scattered about. Well now he knew what the young alchemist had been doing for the past two days; reading. “Well, believe it or not, I came to make sure you were all right. You didn’t exactly look your best when you left yesterday and from all accounts you’ve been hiding in here since.”

He gave a slight shrug, seemingly unconcerned. He didn’t look upset, depressed or even distraught. “Oh, that. Well since I didn’t have anything to do I just figured that I would catch up on what I’ve missed here.”

“That’s it?” He’d been getting hassled with guilt trips for near two days because Fullmetal wanted to read?
“Yeah,” Mustang was given an even stranger look for that while he mentally mulled it over. When all the pieces fell into place he couldn’t help but laugh, which confused the General even more. “Oh man, that’s priceless.”

Laughing? Fullmetal wasn’t supposed to be laughing, not after what he’d read yesterday. “And just what exactly do you find so damned funny?”

“You. You actually came here thinking I’d be bawling my eyes out or sulking or something, didn’t you? That’s rich and funny as hell. Then again so is the look on your face right now.” He opened the door a bit more and turned to head back into the room, waving the General in behind him.

“Yes, if you must know I was concerned about your well being,” how he hated to admit it, but this was annoying. He’d readied himself to find a near blubbering or despondent alchemist that he’d have to deal with and that’s certainly not what he was getting. “I don’t, however, see how that’s so funny.”

“Close the door,” he’d moved to lean against the edge of one of the desks, his hands playing at the edges of the wood. “It’s funny because I thought you guys would be smarter than that. Smart enough not to treat me like a kid anymore.”

“Well perhaps if you’d stop acting like one, we would.” Though he had to admit, as he looked at Edward now, the only thing even remotely childish about the young man was his temper. He was a handsome young man now, attractive enough that he was likely going to give Havoc a run for his money with the ladies around Central. His golden eyes still held an innocent mischief about them, but there was depth there, an understanding.

“You really don’t get it, do you? Yeah, I saw a lot of horrible shit, things no one should ever have to see and some of it was my fault. But, I shed my tears a long time ago and I accepted that the past is just that, the past. We can’t change it, sometimes we can fix it, but most of the time we have to just accept it and move on with our lives. I’m just fine, something I’ll bet even you can’t say.”

“Do you really think you know so much about me?” His gaze narrowed as his voice took on a dangerous edge, this was not a topic he was even remotely comfortable discussing, let alone being lectured about by someone that seemingly couldn’t care less about terrible things he’d reported. “Maybe you’ve seen some pretty disturbing things, things even I can’t claim to have witnessed, but I highly doubt you can even begin to comprehend what it means to take a life in cold blood. Not in self defense, not just because it’s ‘war’ but an innocent person that wasn’t even involved.”

“Maybe, maybe not, but it doesn’t really matter. War is hell, shit happens there that can turn even the stoutest stomach, but the way I see it, you’ve only got a few choices about what to do when it’s over. Either you can let it eat at you, tuck away those terrible things inside you until eventually they consume and destroy you or you can put it behind you and accept that nothing is ever going to truly make it right, forgive yourself and not let it claim another life in it’s wake. I’ve been through hell, Roy; I’ve even created it. I nearly got my own brother killed because of my selfish grief. That’s not something that was easy to put behind me, but damn it, now I have another chance, that’s something special. It’s something I’m not going to throw away. Al’s got his body back, we’re finish chasing down a cure, now we can just live and be happy and it’s about damned time we had that chance.”

Roy wasn’t an old man by any means, but never in all his years could he have prepared himself for a speech like that. It was rather pathetic when someone a decade his junior could find such wisdom so easily when he’d been searching for it most of his life. “You’re lucky, Edward, very very lucky.” He turned to leave, unwilling to stay through another slap in the face, even if Ed hadn’t been sarcastic or condescending, it was not something he was comfortable with. His hand had just found the doorknob when he heard a voice behind him.

“I’m not the only one, Roy. Maybe you don’t believe it, but you deserve to be happy to. I can’t believe someone as smart as you could be so damned stupid or blind. And no, that’s not a shot. Can you really not see that the only person around here that hates you is yourself?” That hadn’t gotten the older man to turn around, but he hadn’t opened the door yet.

“Tell that to your friend, Winry, to all the children who had to grow up orphans or those souls that saw their loved ones die for no reason. They’ll never forgive me, and neither can I.”

“You’re wrong. They can, will and perhaps already have. I’m pretty sure justice has been served in this case. No torture or even death sentence could prove as effective a punishment as what you’ve done to yourself.” Roy still hadn’t turned around, so he pushed off from the desk and walked over to him, laying a hand on his arm. “Look at me.” That didn’t work, so he had to physically turn him around. “He wouldn’t want this for you and he’d probably beat you to a bloody pulp if he knew you blamed yourself for his death. And if you even dare tell me you think my disappearance is your fault I ‘will’ kick your ass. I know you’re an arrogant and egotistical ass, but guess what? The world doesn’t revolve around you, which means not only are you not the greatest thing in the world, but you also can’t be at fault for everything. No offense, but while you’re important to a lot of people who care about you, you’re not so important that you could destroy everyone’s lives. No one is. No one.”

The dark haired General turned back towards the door, not to leave but because he had to escape that piercing gaze that stabbed at his heart and soul with each word. He definitely had to stop thinking of Edward Elric as a child. “I suppose,” he spoke softly after many moments of silence, “that this makes us even.”

“What do you mean?”

“There’s no way in hell you’re ever going to be able to win an argument with me, and if you keep this up, I’m never going to be able to hold onto this guilt.”

“Hmmph,” he scoffed at the former, not believing for a moment that he was never going to get the best of Mustang in an argument, but for the man’s sake he’d play along for now. “I don’t know why you’d want to hold onto it in the first place when there’s much better things out there. Never figured you to be so childish.”

“I am ‘not’ childish by any means, Fullmetal.”

“Ha! Sure you’re not, you only pout every time Hawkeye gives you more paperwork, whine when you can’t get out of it until she pulls a gun on you. That’s pretty damn childish if you ask me.”

He sighed, giving a chuckle as he shook his head. “Very well, so I can be childish, but you’ve really no room to talk.” He finally let go of the doorknob and turned around to face Edward. “I really have missed you, even if there wasn’t a lot to miss.” Back to smirking, but at least he seemed to be feeling better.

“Don’t you dare start with that, just when I was starting to think you were capable of being a human being instead of a stubborn mule,” that got a chuckle from both of them. “Hey, what time is it, anyway?”

“About six in the evening, why?”

“Because I sorta got caught up in reading and didn’t know what time it was, that’s why.”

“Have you eaten yet?”

“Yeah, lunch,” golden eyes narrowed suspiciously at the General. “Why?”

“Because if you think you can stand dining with a stubborn mule, I was going to treat you to dinner.”

“You’re buying? Sure.” He turned to grab his coat, before snapping around. “Hey, wait a minute. What’s the catch?”

“No catch. If you must have a reason, call it a thank you for talking some sense into me.”

“Yeah right, I don’t even know if anything I said will make a bit of difference. For all I know, you’ll go home and forget it ever even happened.”

“Fullmetal…last chance.”

“All right, all right, as long as you’re paying I don’t mind spending your money but it had better be good food.” He pulled on his jacket and zipped it up, grabbing his overcoat by the door. “I can’t open the damned door with you standing there.”

Edward Elric had grown into one hell of a brat, but it would seem that’s just what he needed, what they all needed; someone who was stubborn beyond belief and who couldn’t be kept down no matter what was thrown at him. Edward had been hurt before, had cried his tears and seen his share of pain and no one could deny he was perhaps one of the most talented alchemists the world would ever see, but perhaps his most appealing attribute was something that couldn’t be seen; he had a spirit that couldn’t be broken and that damn optimism of his was bloody infectious when he wanted it to be.