Better Living Through Alchemy

General Mustang looked up from his desk as the door to his office opened. He couldn’t help the smile that spread across his face as he stood to return the salute of Lieutenant Colonel Elric. The boy smiled tiredly at him and set his suitcase on the floor beside him.

“Sorry I didn’t call before hand, sir,” Alphonse said, “I thought I’d surprise the both of you, if that’s all right.”

“Always a pleasure to be surprised in this fashion,” the General returned. “It’s good to see you, how long is Hawkeye letting you grace our presence?”

Alphonse grinned then and walked forward to the desk, taking the General’s extended hand and giving it a shake, then sitting in the chair the man’s hand indicated when he released it.

“I’ve a two week leave,” Alphonse said, “There are some things I need to take care of while I’m here.”

He really does look like a Pirate, Al chortled.

“Your brother is in class and its Thursday, his students have a club meeting, so he’ll be a little late,” the General said taking his own seat. “But that’s fortuitous because we always have dinner in town on Thursday before heading home. It can be a welcome home dinner now as well. You don’t mind hanging about the office for a while, do you?”

“Not at all,” Alphonse said, “as a matter of fact, I could use the reading time. There are a few files I want to go over to be well armed when I pin down Edward.”

“Pin down Edward?” the General asked, eyebrow lifting.

“Yes,” Alphonse said, “I know you aren’t at liberty to discuss things with me until you’ve cleared it with him,” there was a bit of resentment in the tone, “but some things happened on my last mission and he is giving me some answers,” Alphonse sighed. “I really don’t want to drag you into the middle of it, Pirate,” he said and gave the General a small smile. “You’ve done so much for me already. Maybe it’s better if I stay here in the city and have Edward meet up with me.”

“Nonsense,” the General huffed, “you’ll come home with us where you belong and I’ll just keep my nose out of it… as much as I can,” He smiled at the young man across the desk from him. “But no absolute guarantees, you understand. I can’t help but be affected when the two of you are involved.”

It made Alphonse warm the way he said it and Al nodded his head in a fond way.

The Colonel is so nosy, Al said, and it really used to make brother mad, but I always thought it was nice to have an adult who looked after us. Even if brother didn’t think we needed one.

Alphonse rubbed the side of his nose and looked aside as Al chatted away in his cranium. He noticed the Pirate looking at him, the side of his mouth drawn down just a bit.

But sometimes he was too nosy, Al conceded, Has he put on weight?

The Pirates mouth drew down even further when Alphonse suddenly laughed and covered his mouth with his hand.

***

The ditto machine was his sworn enemy.

Edward stood eyeing it warily, slowly peeling his gloves off. Not that this would do any good, or in fact even save them. Whenever he had to use the ditto machine, his gloves were a necessary sacrifice. He eyed it. If only he knew more about the printing world. Alchemy to make duplicates was a tricky business. Al had been able to do it; he’d once watched his younger brother copy a book. The difference between his and Al’s alchemy had always been a balance of delicate control. Edward had control, he had gushing torrents of it. He could will an alchemic reaction into whatever piston of force it needed to be and shape it to the blueprint in his mind in a moment’s given notice as long as the blueprint hinged on engineering and mathematics and mass ratios. Alphonse on the other hand could be more precise and fine-tuned: smaller reactions neatly housed within the walls of their array, nothing over taxing its borders, minute details of logic and theory evolved into matter. Edward could still out sculpt his younger sibling however, but only through the vastness of his own imagination. Al was order and he was chaos, it was the reason they worked so well together.

It was really the ink the damn thing used that was out to get him. No matter what he tried, it would leap from the cylinder as if attracted by magnetism to his automail hand. No amount of scrubbing would clean it, and when he put his glove back on, it would seep through and stains his gloves. There was no stopping it, no preventing it, no reasoning with it. He would just grit his teeth and get it over with.

Twenty-five copies and one pair of ruined gloves later, he stomped back to his classroom and threw himself behind his desk. The only thing that kept him from brooding about having to spend extra hours at the Academy after his classes were over for the day, was the thought of getting to go to dinner with the General in his uniform. The uniform was such a nice suck-up tool; Edward enjoyed watching hostesses fall all over themselves for something they couldn’t have.

***

Alphonse was sitting at the big table with Fuery and Breda. He was really trying to read, but Al kept pestering him for information on the two since he hadn’t seen them in a while. Alphonse irritably told him that he had seen them, and not so long ago. Finally, just so Al would give him some peace and quiet, he looked over to Fuery who noticed and smiled.

“So, how many more books where there in the Duke Chantal series after the whole… it’s been what? Seven years?” Alphonse asked casually.

“Oh,” Fuery said and blinked in surprise. Since Alphonse had come back, he’d never asked about the novels once. He saw the General studying them intensely, but he said nothing.

“There were three more books,” Fuery said, “and then a sequel series about his son.”

“Really?” Alphonse said, sitting up straighter, “Who was the mother? Please tell me it wasn’t Clarrisa.”

“No,” Fuery said and flattened his mouth, “it was a last minute introduction character that I thought was really bad plotting, but the sequel wasn’t all that bad.”

“Do you think I could borrow them?” Alphonse suddenly broke his Hawkeye-like office protocol and leaned forward on the table eagerly, grinning.

“Sure,” Fuery said, “I’ll send them home with the General for you tomorrow,” he was glad to have his reading companion suddenly appear back at his side.

“Great,” Alphonse said in a very un-Alphonse like way, “All this reading about brother is just plain dull.” But having said it, he dropped his gaze back down to his piles of files and resumed.

When Fuery looked to the General again, the man looked concerned, but shook his head and went back to his work. So, Fuery followed suit.

***

“Meeting is called to order,” Todd Evans said, the elected speaker of the group, “today’s agenda includes Alchemists we want to acknowledge, the club fees debate and who’s mom is going to make stuff for the next meeting.”

At his desk, Ed just shook his head and smiled, taking the opportunity to get a jump on grading papers. It really was unfair to ask Roy to help him every time.

The club president, who happened to be Daniel, stood up then and called for the first Alchemist nominee for the SoAB hall of fame. Several hands shot into the air, but he picked Seth first (because he knew who Seth’s hero was) and glanced back toward the big desk. The Professor always pretended disinterest, but Daniel knew he listened to every word.

“I nominate the Professor!” Seth said excitably and predictably, “Because he was the FullMetal Alchemist, the youngest state sanctioned Alchemist ever!” Seth shuffled through his papers and clippings. “My older brother Stephen kept a scrap book of newspaper articles and he let me bring them,” Seth continued and held an article aloft, “this is when he caught Barry the Chopper when he was thirteen years old!” Seth grinned merrily. He held up another article. “This one is about when he stopped a runaway train and this one is about when he helped that one town make a new dam… oh and this one isn’t so good, it says he’s a menace.”

The Professor looked up at that bit of information, cocked his eyebrow.

“I brought some of the novels too,” Seth continued on, “Here is The FullMetal Alchemist versus the Lion Chimeras of Zim!” The boys instantly crowded around his desk. “This one is my favorite,” Seth held another battered paperback aloft. “The FullMetal Alchemist versus the Lady Alchemist of Mount Doom!”

“Let me see that,” the Professor said suddenly and Seth, eager to please, jumped up and raced to the big desk, book in hand.

The Professor took the book, scowled at the cover art and flipped it over to read the brief synopsis on the back. He tried hard not to snicker, but he did, and looked at the cover art again.

“This doesn’t even look like me,” he said, “my jaw isn’t that square and my braid was never that long, neither was my coat,” he grinned and started to hand the book back to Seth.

“Could you sign it,” Seth said in a little hero-worshipping voice, “my big brother would really be happy if you did.”

“But I didn’t write it or even live the adventure,” the Professor said smiling, taking in the boy’s blush and clasped hands.

I really shouldn’t be eating this attention up. It seems so conceited that I do.

“Alright,” the Professor gave in and scrawled his chicken scratch on the inside of the front cover. Seth took it from his hand with a reverence that should only be reserved for sacred things.

“Thank you Professor,” the boy said with a lip tremble, then turned and scooted back to his desk beaming and receiving some envious looks.

“Okay, we all know the Professor is great,” Daniel broke in, “but before we make his ego unmanageable, who else has a nominee?”

Daniel grinned as the Professor snorted behind him.

“I nominate the Firefly Alchemist,” Gavin Royal said without even raising his hand.

“But she’s not a real Alchemist,” Eric Danvers complained, “she’s only a singer who uses alchemy in her act. The state didn’t give her that name, she chose it for herself.”

“If the Professor was out being a state alchemist when he was thirteen,” Duffy suddenly broke in, “then when did he go to school?”

The Firefly Alchemist was abandoned for the moment and several pairs of curious eyes turned on the big desk and the Professor hmmm and hawed a little.

“The Military provided my schooling,” the Professor offered, “just like they are doing for you.”

“You went to the Academy?” Richard Timbers asked, “But there aren’t any plaques about you anywhere. Other famous Alchemists who went to the Academy have plaques!”

Now they were all incensed on the Professor’s behalf and looked like they might be planning a small riot.

“No, I didn’t go to the Academy,” the Professor said to forestall the mass swarm out the door and the march down the hall to the Dean’s office, “I just… learned from the school of hard knocks,” he gave a sheepish grin.

“You didn’t have to go to school?” Boyd Harding said in envious disbelief, “So if you become a state alchemist you don’t have to go to school!?”

“No, that’s not true,” the Professor said, grasping around for control of this conversation before it got away from him, “state alchemists have to go to school and get training with another Alchemist,” he pointed out.

“Well then why didn’t you have to go to school, you were a state alchemist,” Daniel said, looking to back the Professor into the ropes. Sure he admired the man, but you couldn’t let good opportunities like this go by.

“He doesn’t have to tell us,” Seth leapt to the Professor’s defense. Duffy punched him lightly in his upper arm. Seth knew better, the rule of the playground is if you could stick it to a teacher, (no matter how cool they were), you should.

“I’m a prodigy,” the Professor said, nose in air. “I was too smart to be in the Academy and so the state decided I should be a state alchemist.” There, that ought to do it.

“But it looks like they got you in the Academy anyway,” Daniel grinned and wiggled an eyebrow, “does that mean you aren’t a prodigy anymore?”

“You only have another half hour to finish your meeting,” the Professor snapped, “and I’m grading papers, so kindly try not to disturb me.”

Students: 1 Professor: 0

***

Havoc took the phone call in the office adjacent to the General’s. He wasn’t expecting a female voice on the other end of the line and it made him grin so hard he thought his jaw would snap.

“I hope it’s okay calling you here. I know you gave me the number, but I’ve never called the military before,” Sarah said. “I don’t want to get you in trouble.”

“It’s ok,” Havoc said, trying not to bounce around. She called him first, at work!

“About our date,” she continued, “my friend Abby is going to be by herself Saturday night and I want her to come along. You need to hook her up with your tall, gray haired friend.”

Havoc blinked. Hook up her friend with someone else? Double date? But it was the first date! Wait a minute. Tall, gray haired friend…

“You mean Falman?!” Havoc said in a bit of disbelief. He wasn’t sure Falman dated. He wasn’t sure about anything Falman did if he thought about it.

“Yeah,” Sarah said, “I think that’s his name. He’s been in the restaurant with you guys a couple of times. You know, he’s all tall and stiff and looks sort of expressionless?”

“That’s Falman,” Havoc said faintly, “are you sure that’s who she means? Did she meet him before or something?”

“I don’t think so,” Sarah said, “she just saw him sitting with you guys while she was waiting other tables and I guess she just liked him. She says he looks safe and malleable,” Havoc could almost see the girl shrug on the other end, “I’m not here to regulate her tastes, I just want you to hook her up.”

“I’ll see what I can do,” Havoc said in a stunned way, “and I’ll let you know.”

“Great!” Sarah said, “We’re counting on you! It will be fun, you’ll see,” her voice grinned at him over the phone. “Okay I have to go now, are you coming by the restaurant tonight? The special is chopped steak.”

“Yeah,” Havoc said, “sure.”

“See you then,” she said merrily, and hung up the phone.

All along, he thought his luck had changed, and it had. It had grown a malicious, practical joking streak.

***

Edward listened to the list of hall of fame nominees read like a listing of contemporary bad literature. Half the Alchemists on it he’d never even heard of and the other half made him cringe. Why yes he was an elitist snob when it came to alchemy and he had every right to be because he could back it the hell up. He shifted in his seat a little; this was none of his business. He was only here to supervise the boys in as far as letting them have after school access to an adequate meeting room and that was all.

“Why don’t you nominate someone, Professor,” Daniel’s voice carried to him, it was an apology for zinging him earlier, he knew.

“I’m not in your club,” he told the boy and gave him a smile.

“But you are really,” Seth piped up, “you’re the reason we started the club.”

“I bet you know all kinds of cool Alchemists,” Bernard Martin said, “tell us one for the list!”

There was a round of ‘please!’ that Edward found hard to ignore. When had this gang of boys gotten such a handhold on him?

“Oh very well, add The Flame Alchemist,” the Professor said, smiling.

Daniel dutifully noted the name down and then said, “Who’s that?”

Edward blinked.

“Oh I know,” Seth jumped in again, “That’s General Mustang! My dad’s boss, he says he’s a pompous ass!”

“General Mustang is an alchemist?” Duffy said, “Since when? My dad says he’s gonna run for Prime Minister if he’d get off his ass already and do it.”

The Professor’s eyes had gotten rather large. Now he seemed to be listening to them rather intently.

“My dad said,” Seth continued, “that he made a bid to run the Academy, but not because he wanted to be the administrative head, he just wanted to lean on the Dean. My dad says it’s a shame because he used to be really kick ass, but then he got all washed up because of the old Fuhrer that disappeared.”

“Was he really kick ass?” Daniel directed to the Professor, who blinked at him and then seemed to snap out of whatever self induced trance he was in.

“Very,” the Professor said, “he was a war hero. The stuff about the old Fuhrer is all just rumor and you shouldn’t put any real stock in it.”

“Hey, you could tell us what really happened,” Daniel suddenly said, looking eager. “You were there!”

No, I wasn’t really. I let him go alone.

“No, I wasn’t in on that,” the Professor said, “I had business elsewhere at that time. Besides, that would all be classified and if I did know, I couldn’t tell you.”

I do know, but I won’t tell you. There will be no monsters for your dreams if I can help it.

The boys looked a little disappointed, but seemed to accept his explanation.

“It’s time guys,” the Professor said, pulling out his silver pocket watch to double check, “see you in class in the morning.”

They all gathered up their things and filed out, telling him goodbye as they went. He was packing up his own briefcase.

Prime Minister, eh? That was news to him. News he was going to confirm.

***


Brother!

Alphonse stood and smiled when Edward came walking into the General’s office. Edward didn’t see him at first, intent on the big desk where the General himself sat smiling, but then General nodded in Alphonse’s direction and Edward looked over, grinning and lighting up like he always did.

“Al,” his big brother said, “why didn’t you call?” Edward dropped his briefcase on the General’s desk and walked over. Alphonse extended his hand like he always did.

Hug him! Al cried.

Don’t worry, we’re about to get squished. He always mauls me when he sees me, Alphonse said.

No, you hug him first! Look, he’s so happy to see us. How can you not want to hug someone who is always so glad to see you? Al demanded.

Alphonse started a little; Edward did always look overjoyed to see him. No matter what, no matter when, his elder brother always had a huge grin for him. He wasn’t sure if it was of his own violation he suddenly moved forward, but he didn’t care because he found he agreed.

Edward made a surprised sound when his younger brother beat him to the rib crushing, but it only lasted a moment before he wrapped his arms around him.

“This is a great surprise,” Edward said next to his ear, “I’m sorry to keep you waiting. My class had a club meeting,” he offered.

“That’s okay, the Pirate told me,” Alphonse said, releasing Edward and stepping back. “He says you guys would take me to dinner,” he grinned.

“Of course,” Edward said, “anywhere you want, just name it. Are you on leave? I thought Hawkeye wanted to work you to death your last few months in her service.”

What should I tell him? Alphonse asked.

Lay low and butter him up first, Al said.

“I’ve been really busy, but after this last mission, she told me I needed a break. I asked if I could come and visit you,” Alphonse said.

The grin he got in response to that made him feel guilty. Al felt guilty too.

***

Roy sat and watched the siblings eat. It was one of the few things they did exactly alike. He was glad he had forgone the pasta dish and opted for chicken, because watching the brothers savage their pasta bowls was just this side of frightening. Maybe even a little nauseating.

They were currently scuffling over the last meatball and it plopped onto the tablecloth. Alphonse, the neat freak, made a huffy sound, but Edward dived right in. Never one to let an opening go by, he plucked it off the table with his mouth and his little brother snorted in indignation.

It amazed the General that they didn’t find this behavior embarrassing, and he glanced around giving a couple at the next table over a half smirk and shrug.

“Are you going to have dessert?” the General ventured.

“Yes!” they both half shouted and then looked at each other and grinned. Edward tried to wipe Alphonse’s chin, but Alphonse flailed and snatched the napkin out of Edward’s hand, growling.

“I’m not a child, Edward!” Alphonse wiped his own chin.

Whoa, that is some role reversal, Al said.

***


Roy unlocked the front door, immediately reached for a leash hanging on the wall and bent down to try and snap it to the collar of a black and white blur.

“I’ll check for accidents,” Ed said with resignation as he led Alphonse into the house.

Roy was too occupied at the moment, grunting with frustration as he tried to get his hands on a terrier, but he managed to get the leash on R.D. and steer the puppy out the door, pulling it shut behind him.

Edward took Alphonse’s suitcase from him and grinned at his brother’s half protest as they walked down the hallway to Alphonse’s room. Edward set the suitcase by the closet and then sat down on the edge of Alphonse’s bed while the younger boy peeled of his gloves and shrugged out of his coat.

“How have you been feeling?” Alphonse asked, “Is the weather treating you any better?” He opened his closet and hung up his coat, took out a few hangers and then picked up the suitcase, laying it on the bed next to Edward.

“I’m alright,” Edward said with a smile, watching his little brother unpack and put things in his closet. This was the best part of any visit. With things hanging in the closet, it felt like home to Edward, that Alphonse had finally come to stay. “Roy is such a mother hen about it, it’s not as bad as he makes out.”

We haven’t kept our promise, Al suddenly said, sadly.

Our promise? Alphonse returned.

Brother still has his automail, we promised to fix it, Al said.

“Well, the General has the right to mother hen you, after all,” Alphonse said, worrying the new supplied bit of information, not sure how to offer it. Better to wait. “How is the teaching job going?”

“As well as can be expected,” Edward said, putting his hands behind him and leaning back. “It’s quite an experience to be molding young lives,” he flashed a half maniacal grin, “If find I rather enjoy it. The thought of being able to inflict myself on future generations, even indirectly, has its appeal.”

Alphonse laughed, put the empty suitcase in the bottom of the closet and shut the door.

“Just what the alchemic world needs, more of the Elric style of reckless transmutation,” he teased.

“Hey,” Edward said, “I’m not reckless, I’m innovative, ask my students.” The smile of pride on his face was a dead giveaway to Alphonse on how much the teaching career was suiting his brother.

He’s so happy, Al said and sighed softly, He deserves all this happiness. The Colonel is really good to him.

Alphonse gave a half smile and clapped Edward on the shoulder.

“This is great Edward,” Alphonse said, “Did you think this is how it would turn out for us?”

“The happily ever after part?” his elder brother said, “Well yeah, I did. It is almost, I think.” Edward raised his automail hand and laid it over the back of Alphonse’s on his shoulder. Alphonse could feel the coolness of it, even through Edward’s glove.

We’re definitely going to work on that, Alphonse told his inner voice.

Can’t be truly happily ever after until Brother is fixed, Al agreed.

***

Any further musings were interrupted by the appearance of a small black and white missile. It came darting into the room and ran rapid circles for a moment.

“R.D.!” Alphonse said in that special, reserved baby-talk-for-the-dog way. “R.D., have you been a good boy,” he cooed at the puppy and Edward rolled his eyes.

R.D. went into spasms of trembling joy at his name from Alphonse’s lips. He stood shaking like he might explode and when Alphonse tried to pet him, he tore away in a tizzy down the hall, only to come racing back, small tail threatening to snap off his behind and go flying.

Edward got up and shook his head. He too tried to bend over to pet the dog, only to have it tear away again as if its happiness was so hard to contain he had to chase it down. Edward looked at Alphonse who grinned and shrugged.

“If we could only harness that energy,” Edward said, “we could rule the world.”

Both brothers laughed and Edward walked out of Alphonse’s room. This caused R.D. to bounce excitedly in the hallway. He would bounce straight up into the air, almost reaching eye level a time or two. Edward snorted at him, pulling off his own gloves and shrugging off his own coat, heading for the coat rack in the hall to deposit them. R.D. came charging along behind him, only to abandon him and go charging back down the hall.

Edward chuckled again as he heard Alphonse’s tones, if not his words, and the little terrier came zipping down the hall again to do an epileptic seizure of joy for a few moments, then stopped to have a little pant. He seemed to notice Roy’s absence at this point and barreled down the hall before Edward into their bedroom.

“You must be excited, Al is here,” he heard Roy say as he walked in. Roy was out of his work clothes already and pulling on his house wear. Edward watched him appreciatively for a few moments; he liked Roy’s cold weather lounging attire, the General looked good in sweaters and blousy, flannel, house pants.

R.D. decided that everyone was much too sedate about Alphonse’s arrival. He tore frantically around the room as Edward unbuttoned his vest and shirt, then went roaring down the hall again, yapping. His yapping would grow louder and then fade as he ran up and down the hallway.

“The dog is insane,” Edward informed Roy as he pulled on his own sweater, working it over the sock on his arm, “I hear they reflect their owners’ personalities,” Edward grinned charmingly at his lover.

“Well, constant exposure to you has helped that along, on both our counts,” his lover replied charmingly back.

Edward snorted, then grinned as Alphonse stuck his head in the doorway. R.D. squeezed past him and ran in to make the circuit of each man there. Edward tried to catch him again, but R.D. did an amazing almost back flip and slipped between his legs, running behind Roy’s legs and giving a very definite defiant yap.

“What’s the point of having a dog you can’t pet,” Edward groused, “Al has been trying to pet the little beast since the moment we walked in,” he gave Roy a look that indicated clearly this was his fault.

“He’s just excited,” Alphonse said, “he’ll calm down in a bit. Are we going to go sit around the living room?”

PUPPY! Al jiggled again, I can’t believe the Colonel and Brother have a puppy! Alphonse got the distinct impression of the armor making ‘grabby hand’ motions.

Roy nodded and made the gentlemanly motion for Edward to precede him out the door, which Edward did. He grabbed Alphonse’s arm as he went and pulled his younger brother down the hall.

“Tell me all about that last hush-hush mission of yours,” the elder brother prodded, “Roy’s useless for intelligence nowadays. His mind is all caught up on his bid to be Prime Minister.” Edward looked over his shoulder and narrowed his eyes.

“Prime Minister?” Alphonse said, eyes widening, “A pirate for Prime Minister?”

Roy wondered how that old rumor had reached Ed’s ears. He thought he’d squashed it flat.

“Sure,” Edward said as they went through into the living room, “rape and pillage, you know. That’s everyday work in government.”

***

Al pestered Alphonse until R.D. was captured, then they held the squirming terrier prisoner in their lap for a good petting. R.D. finally succumbed to the pleasure of having Alphonse’s total attention and laid panting on Alphonse’s crossed legs.

“I’m not a liberty to discuss that mission at the moment,” Alphonse said, fingers buried in the short black and white fur of a wiggling dog butt.

At least not at the moment, I’d like a few days to relax before that particular conversation.

Puppy! Al practically drooled, being useless.

Edward slumped petulantly on the couch next the General and then began rearranging the blankets the General piled on him in an automatic fashion. He was used to this ritual.

“I hate being on the outs,” Edward grumbled, “it’s so unfair. You know, I used to be trusted with all kinds of delicate missions, I don’t know why I’m suddenly a horrible security breach,” he snorted.

“Loop-less,” the General said serenely, tucking a throw pillow behind Edward’s back as Edward spread some of the blankets over the General’s legs. “You’re a civilian now, FullMetal,” the General grinned, “welcome to being one of the uninformed masses.”

“I can’t wait to be loop-less myself,” Alphonse sighed and smiled, slouching a bit as R.D. wiggled around giving all the signs he was settled for the night right there in Alphonse’s lap.

“Won’t be long,” the General said, rubbing a sock clad foot that had materialized in his lap. “Just another 3 months. Try not to make the resignation letter too long or sentimental, everyone looks at me funny when I sniffle in the office,” he grinned.

“What did you have in mind for when you come home?” Edward grinned.

“Actually, I was thinking of starting my own alchemist for hire company,” Alphonse smiled, “the Colonel and I talk about it frequently. She says there are all manners of grants I can still get from the military and that the military uses contractual labor all the time. I’m a shoe-in for her office and I like working with the Colonel, I don’t see why it should end just because I retire from the military.”

Edward shifted about on the couch some, fingering the edge of his blanket. Roy kneaded on his foot a little harder and looked at him with a smile.

“Wouldn’t that require you to be live in East City?” Edward said, a bit subdued. “There has been talk at the academy about forming an intermediate class for Alchemy and that would leave a position open for the beginner class, since I would be first in line for the intermediate position. I was rather hoping you might consider that.” Edward looked over at his younger brother.

“That’s very generous,” Alphonse said, “but I think I would like to work on my own for a while. I have a few theories I’d like to propose and maybe get some grants for. I would still spend part of my time here; I’ll just keep my apartment in East City for when I have an assignment there.”

Grant money to fix brother, Al said.

Yes, the most important thing. I’ll need lab access as well; the Colonel of course will understand and help me, I know she will, Alphonse returned.

Edward went all broody after that and only half participated in the rest of the evening’s conversation. The General and Edward still had to work in the morning, so they all retired a bit early. Alphonse graciously let R.D. room with him.

***


After it had gotten dark and still in the house, and Roy was spooned to his back, Edward finally decided to whine a little.

“I don’t want him to live in East City,” he said in the stillness of the room, keeping his voice down, “I want him to live with us and be a family again.”

“We are a family Ed. It doesn’t matter if Al wants to live in East City,” Roy said. “He wants to do his own thing now, he’s earned the right. Let him grow up, I promise you’ll like the result.” He kissed over a metal shoulder to the side of a warm neck.

“He would be a marvelous teacher, I just know it,” Ed pressed. “The kids would love him because you can’t know him and not love him,” He scratched the pillow with an automail finger. “You know he’s only doing it because Hawkeye is there,” he said softly, “maybe you should speak to her about it. It’s… it’s not like… I mean…” he stuttered to a halt, not sure what to say.

Roy moved his lips to the back of Ed’s neck.

“Don’t you think that’s none of our business?” he said, muffled there. “I think that’s something Al and Riza need to work out between them.”

He felt Edward tense up and wondered at the reaction. Ed half turned his head to try and see Roy over his shoulder.

“That is where you are wrong,” he said tightly. “Al is totally my business. He’s still just a kid; I don’t want him to get hurt. Hawkeye isn’t interested in him the way he wants her to be, he needs to open his eyes and see it. For one thing, she is very military; even with Al’s resignation, he is still a minor. It would be frowned on and therefore she frowns on it. She’s older too, almost twelve years older, right? If Al wants to date, he needs to find some girls his own age. He won’t do that dogging Hawkeye’s heels.”

“You are being amazingly hypocritical,” Roy said blandly behind him. “If you even hint of this to Al you’re going to make him angry. I think you need to trust your brother and I think you need to let him take any hard knocks coming his way on his own. He’s strong Ed, let him prove it to you.”

“I’m not a hypocrite,” Ed hissed, “I know why you are saying that. You and I are a completely different situation. You can’t compare apples to oranges, I know Al is strong; he has to be for everything he went through, but he doesn’t have any experience with this…”

“I hope I’m an apple,” the General said. “But he needs experience and why are you so terrified of Hawkeye? Even if it’s a let down, it won’t be a bad one. You know she’ll be kind to him.”

“That’s part of the problem,” Ed said. “Not every girl out there will. I’m not scared of Hawkeye; I’m just worried for Al. Who do you know that has daughters his age? I mean that you like, or think will be right for him?”

“What?” Roy leaned up on his elbow. “I am not setting Al up, end of story.” He rolled onto his side then and Ed turned and glared at his back.

“You don’t have to do any setting up, just give me the names and I’ll handle it,” Ed said, rolling over and spooning to Roy’s back. “You know if he likes a girl here then maybe he’ll stay here and then he’ll be a teacher and we can all be happy.”

“That is your plan for happiness,” Roy said. “Alphonse isn’t figured into that equation. You’re being selfish, Ed.”

“Al is figured into every equation,” Ed growled. “You act like you don’t want him here! Talk about selfish; I know how you think. You’re thinking if Al is here, you can’t make love to me on every piece of furniture in the house in your spontaneous fashion. That is selfish, hypocrite.” Ed shoved away then to his side of the bed and Roy whipped over and glared at him.

“I thought being a teacher would make you think before putting that mouth into motion,” Roy said angrily. “I didn’t think it would make you take on the behavior of your pupils.”

“You aren’t contradicting me,” Edward growled back. “It’s not my maturity level on discussion here, it’s Al’s and yours. Al has been around the military his whole life, all of them! He doesn’t know any better; adults always surrounded him, it was the same with me. Adults to the left of me, adults to the right of me, I never stood a chance when my hormones decided to body slam me, but Al does! He has that chance now and I want him to take it. I want him to go through it normally, not the way I did. I’m not saying it wasn’t good or that it was wrong; I made do with what I had, I made it work, but that’s me and Al is different.”

“You ‘made do’?” the General hissed in a breath. “You’re damn right Al is different, so why the hell are you trying so hard to control him?” Roy sat up then, putting his hands on his quilt covered knees. “I can’t believe you just said that,” he mumbled, “what the hell does ‘made do’ mean? I was easily accessible? Is that it, Ed? Because I was there and I showed interest? What the fuck is all this then?” He made a gesture around the room. “You got complacent?” he hissed.

“Damn it, this isn’t about you,” Ed sat up as well. “You’re taking that out of context deliberately. I’m not trying to control Al! I’m just trying to figure out what might be in his best interests! It’s what I’m supposed to do, I’m his elder brother and the only family he’s got left.”

“I’m going to let you dig your own grave,” Roy snorted, then flopped down and turned on his side, with his back to Ed. “I’m going to sleep now, I have to go to work in the morning.”

“You’re taking this all wrong, that’s not what I meant and you know it,” Ed said, chest tightening a little.

“Sometimes I don’t know you as well as I think I do,” Roy muttered, “Now go to sleep and leave me alone. I’m tired.”

Ed worked his jaw and stared at Roy’s back for a few moments. He lay down, but didn’t turn and scoot to that promised warmth like he normally would. He stared at the ceiling. He should apologize, but that is what Roy was waiting on, wasn’t it? He didn’t mean it that way; Roy knew that, he was just doing this to distract him from Al. When Roy couldn’t win an argument, he used theatrics. Well, it wasn’t going to work this time. Roy knew he loved him, he should know that a thousand times over. Outside of Al, there wasn’t a single person left on the planet he’d work harder to please, it wasn’t right for Roy to twist his words back on him. He turned his head and looked at his back again; it might as well have been a wall at that moment. He closed his eyes and tried to sleep.

***

Alphonse raised his hand and petted the small black and white head that had popped up from the blankets, ears raised, cocking back and forth.

He heard the voices down the hall, too. He was pretty sure his Pirate sounded angry. He wondered what they were arguing about and sincerely hoped it wasn’t about him or his military choices, but knowing Edward, it was. Alphonse sighed and was glad when they voices died away. R.D. seemed to sigh too, and he laid his head back down as Alphonse closed his eyes.

***

Alphonse had gotten up when he heard the morning preparations for work commence down the hall. He went to the kitchen, R.D. at his heels, and immediately started coffee. He then found the second leash hanging by the back door and took R.D. out, stamping his feet and folding his arms against the morning cold, urging the little dog to hurry up his business. After coming back inside, he rummaged the ice box and found eggs and ham and cheese, and began making breakfast for everyone.

The General appeared first. He looked surprised and then pleased, and went to get the morning paper off the front stoop with R.D. hurrying after him on the off chance of getting to go out again. Edward stumbled in as the General was fetching his paper (and then chasing his terrier in the front yard). Alphonse smiled and wordlessly handed over a cup of coffee with sugar, watching Edward lean against the counter to sip at it.

Still not a morning person I see,Al said.

“How did you sleep?” his elder brother inquired after he had enough coffee in his veins to engage his vocal chords.

“Rather well. You look like hell though,” Alphonse grinned, “but that doesn’t surprise me, you often did.”

Edward gave him a funny look for a moment, then shrugged it off and looked over as Roy appeared back into the kitchen, grumbling. He had R.D. tucked under one arm and his slightly chewed paper in the other hand.

Alphonse made no comment as he carried plates to the table and watched his brother and Pirate pretty much ignore each other. He sat down at the far end; Edward and the General sat opposite each other. R.D. took up immediate station next to Edward’s feet.

Edward looked down at the puppy and scowled, then proceeded to butter his toast. The General opened his paper and picked up his coffee cup. Alphonse rather felt like a third wheel in that moment, but said nothing. Obviously whatever they had argued about last night hadn’t cleared up in the light of dawn and their breakfast was consumed in mostly silence, broken only occasionally when Edward would inform R.D. how worthless he was while tossing him a scrap of ham.

They both stood at the same time from the table, regarding each other for the briefest of moments before both turning to Alphonse. He really wished he was a true third wheel now, but he grinned gamely.

“Have a great day at work,” he told the two of them. “Don’t worry about me, I’ll be fine, R.D. is great company,” he assured. “If you tell me what you have in the ice box for dinner I can get it started before you come home,” he offered.

“Thank you Alphonse,” the General said. “You’re really thoughtful. There are some chops in there if you want to make use of them.”

“You’re not here to be our maid,” Edward cut in. “You don’t have to cook if you don’t want to. I’m sure one of us can handle it when we get home, Roy is the chop expert after all.”

“No, it’s alright,” Alphonse rushed in when the two of them once again regarded each other over the table. “I love to cook. Hey Edward, while you’re out today, will you stop by a newsstand and pick me up a copy of The Alchemic Almanac? I left my other one in East City. Pirate, will you bring me some stationery from the office? I left that behind too and I have a few letters I need to write even though I’m on leave.”

They both nodded and actually looked grateful at the Alphonse-shaped buffer placed between them.

“We better go,” the General said then, laying the paper on the table, “can’t have Edward being late to class.”

Alphonse got up and walked with them to the door, helping Edward get his coat over the extra bulk of his right arm and grabbing R.D. so there would be no more escapes that morning.

***

The drive in was mostly silent and Roy found it very irritating, but he grabbed Edward by the arm before he got out in front of the academy, pulling him close and kissing him. Edward kissed back immediately, closing his fingers on the General’s uniform jacket for a moment, before pulling back and looking around. It was still early enough to go mostly unnoticed and they regarded each other evenly.

“Not apologizing,” Edward mumbled.

“Didn’t expect you to,” the General returned with a scowl.

Then Edward pushed away, grabbed his briefcase and got out of the car, looking back once before hurrying up the steps toward the front doors. The General leaned on the steering wheel and watched him go, sighing. That comment really hurt, the least the little shit could do was give him something. It was damnable Elric pride that kept him so tight lipped, that and the belief that he was never truly wrong when it came to dealing with Roy.

Roy sighed and drummed the steering wheel with his thumbs before putting the car back in gear and driving the block and a half to the main headquarters building.

***


The students could tell the Professor was in a rather subdued mood. He overlooked some talking while he was drawing alchemic material symbols on the board to be copied for a test. He would glance back at them when they got a bit too loud, so they tried hard not to take advantage. It was the last day before the weekend and the Professor was usually a little more lenient, but even for him this was down right coddling. He finished up the notes for copying and turned to look at them, hands on his hips.

“Okay you lot, you’ve done really well this week, so as long as you copy the notes and study,” he emphasized, “I’m going to let you talk amongst yourselves quietly for the rest of the period.”

Something was wrong. Daniel looked at Seth who looked at Eric who looked at Duffy who looked at Boyd who looked at Bernard who looked at Richard. Richard looked at the Professor who had sat down behind his desk, shuffling notes and they all looked with him and tried to figure out what was going on.

Daniel suddenly leaned across the isle and whispered to Seth.

“Distract him; ask him a question,” he said, “about anything. You’re our club expert on FullMetal.”

Seth nodded solemnly. He had been so proud to be assigned the Professor when it was decided they would each research an Alchemist and archive his or her achievements for the club. Seth looked toward the front of the room and straightened his glasses, plucking out a question from the teeming knowledge he’d actually been dying to ask. This seemed like a good time.

“Professor,” he asked politely, raising his hand as he did so. The Professor looked up at him and nodded, acknowledging his right to ask a question. Seth stood.

“Sir, I was reading about how you could do alchemy without circles,” Seth said, “it says you are the only known alchemist to date, with the exception of a woman named Izumi Curtis, that could do it. Izumi Curtis was never state sanctioned, so there are no official records on her and she passed away without leaving any journals behind for the state library. Can you teach us how to do alchemy without circles?” he asked innocently.

The Professor said nothing for several moments and Seth sank back into his seat, shooting a worried glance in Daniel’s direction.

“Izumi Curtis was my martial arts master and alchemy teacher when I was younger than you are now,” the Professor suddenly said, “but she is not the reason I can do alchemy without circles.”

The room got very quiet and Edward sighed. He wondered when this would be brought up. He thought he would just tell them ‘No’ and leave it at that when the time came, but he couldn’t do that, not to these curious and bright boys. It wouldn’t be fair. But, what could he tell them and how much could he tell them? Not much, he admitted to himself.

“Alchemy without circles isn’t achievable by normal means,” he said slowly. “It’s like… the philosopher’s stone; you come by it through an act of desperation.” He tucked the notes he had been reading into a book on his desk and then clasped his hands before him.

“There are extraordinary circumstances involved and people rarely live through them,” the Professor said seriously. “I was lucky and then I somehow fell into the lap of other people who actually cared what happened to me and my brother. I am teaching you about Equivalent Exchange,” the Professor continued, “and how it figures into alchemy as a science. Science isn’t about desperation; it’s about concrete facts. It’s about truth. Truth is rarely pretty and sometimes it’s down right vicious, but we all need to learn to live with it, because the alternative is living a lie and a lie is a half-life.”

Homunculus are told the biggest lie of all, aren’t they?

“I know chapter two of your basics book covers the laws of alchemy. I suggest you reread it very carefully and not only commit it to memory, but etch it into your hearts. Believe me when I tell you there are things that, no matter what you sacrifice, alchemy cannot put right. Alchemizing without circles isn’t something I can do because of hard work and determination; it is something I can do because I tried to break the laws.

“I told myself I would never alchemize without circles in front of the lot of you; it was pointless, it would bring up needless questions and you couldn’t do it anyway, but that would be disrespectful of me; I never want to give you answers without facts. Alchemy is science and science is fact and fact is truth, the truth of the matter is: I fucked up royally and I won’t let you do the same. Please don’t tell any of your parents I used the word ‘fuck’ again, alright?”

There was some very solemn head nodding from his troops. The Professor half smiled at them.

“Science is a serious business isn’t it,” he said, “but since you did bring it up and you did listen, I guess it won’t hurt to show you alchemy without circles just once. Who has something they want transmuted?”

There was a rush for the big desk and he should know that telling them ‘just once’ would be something he could never hold to. He clapped himself silly for the rest of the period.

***

The silence of the morning on the ride into work was broken by the few comments on the evening drive home. Roy was always magnanimous, so he offered first.

“How was class?” he asked after Edward climbed in and got settled.

“It was fine,” Edward said with a smile, “I finally got the dreaded ‘alchemy without circles’ question,” he looked over at Roy.

“How did that go?” the General asked. He knew the probability of being asked that particular question had worried Ed. He cared about the kids he was in charge of for an hour a day, it was a nod to his character and his compassion, and very like him to be that way. It was one of the things Roy loved most about him.

“I think it went pretty well, I told them everything while telling them nothing and stressed the importance of Alchemic law,” Ed bit his bottom lip, “at least I hope I did.”

Roy knew the headquarters complex like the back of his hand. They always took a back gate out, there was less traffic. He nodded at the soldier who saluted them as they drove past the guard house and as they pulled out onto the main road, Roy reached over and found Ed’s hand, pulling it to his lips and kissing the knuckles once before releasing it.

“I’m sure they will be fine,” he said, “you are both a role model and a force to be reckoned with if they screw up.”

“I guess I need to try and be meaner on Fridays,” the blonde sighed.

***


The smell of chops made their mouths water when they walked in the door. Then they did the quick-footed dance of ‘trip up R.D. before he makes a break out the front door’ and managed it successfully before shutting the door.

“Welcome home,” Alphonse called cheerfully from down the hall in the kitchen doorway, “dinner is almost ready, you two get comfy!”

They aren’t scowling at each other, maybe they made up, Al said hopefully.

Time and dinner will tell, Alphonse told him.

***

The make up process was a very interesting thing and Alphonse studied it closely. Not that he would ever have to practice it he was sure, but it never hurt to take mental notes. Dinner was pleasant enough. Each complemented Alphonse on his cooking talents and both offered to help with the dishes. Alphonse let Edward help and sent the General off to entertain R.D. and read the evening edition of the paper, then both brothers went to the living room as well. Edward sat down on the couch and looked toward Roy who was sitting in his leather chair. Alphonse sat on the second chair, an overstuffed, but shorter, cloth version of the leather one and patted his knees for R.D. to jump up in his lap.

“How was class?” Alphonse asked.

“It was good,” Ed replied.

“How was the office?” Alphonse asked.

“It was good,” the General replied.

Alphonse noticed how Edward kept glancing at the General, but saying nothing. Then he remembered he’d gotten Alphonse the almanac and went to get it out of his coat pocket, returning a few moments later to offer it to his younger brother.

Alphonse thanked him, settled and opened it; he let R.D. investigate it as well with a small, wiggling, black nose.

The General was now glancing at Edward, who’d picked up the news digest that had come in the mail that morning.

Edward glanced up and they both looked at each other a moment before glancing back down again at their prospective reading materials.

“Why don’t we let Alphonse listen to your new phonograph disc,” Edward offered casually.

The General rustled his paper and closed it, folding it and setting it on the chair’s side table.

“I think you’ll like it Alphonse,” he said, standing up and stretching before heading for the den to get the phonograph, “it’s a jazz trio that’s been gaining popularity lately.” He went to retrieve the box and disc. R.D. leapt from Alphonse’s lap and trotted after him to keep him company on his journey.

The phonograph was given a place of honor on the credenza, the disc was put to spinning and the needle lowered over it. Alphonse smiled as the first note took the room and his Pirate closed his eyes for a moment before walking over and handing Alphonse the record sleeve for his reading pleasure. It brought him close to the couch, which he promptly sat down on, not two hand spans away from Edward, who was watching the General with an unreadable expression.

R.D., having trotted back in after a full den investigation, stood in indecision about which one of them to assault first while Alphonse tried very hard to concentrate on the record sleeve in his hand and not on the events taking place on the couch. Roy settled back and R.D. decided to jump up between him and Edward. Roy scratched the little head and ears, crossing his legs and getting comfortable. Edward studiously ignored the dog by concentrating on his digest, but he also leaned back and took up a comfortable slouch, leaning toward Roy just a bit.

Roy’s hand dropped off to the other side of R.D. and R.D., deciding that was all he was going to get from Roy, scooted over and made a bid for Edward’s lap. Edward snorted and grunted as the little dog wiggled between him and his digest, and turned to look at Roy, mouth pulling down.

“Your dog is on me,” Edward said.

“So I see,” the General returned, “he seems to like you. He must be a glutton for abuse.”

“Kindly remove your dog from my lap,” Alphonse’s brother intoned in an insulted air. “I’m trying to read.”

“You heard the man, R.D.,” the General scooted over closer than necessary and scooped the terrier up, depositing him on the floor.

R.D. didn’t know the meaning of insult and happily trotted over to stand up with his paws on Alphonse’s knees. Alphonse graciously helped him up into his own lap and went back to pretending the record sleeve held deep meaning to all things meaningful and alchemic that he’d been struggling for all these years. He wanted to leave the room, because that would be best, but it seemed rude since the record was being played of his benefit.

We need to get out of here, Al broke in, confirming Alphonse’s suspicions. They won’t make up and smooch with us watching, he informed helpfully, then turned his attentions to a wiggling puppy.

If I just get up and leave, that will seem obvious, Alphonse said, and that might make them subconscious of what they are doing. Edward gets uncomfortable in situations like this. You would think, as long as he’s been with the General, things like this would come easily.

We are talking about Brother, Al said, he never lets anything come easily. He goes out of his way to find the most difficult path possible and if none of the paths he chooses are difficult, he thinks he owes some karmic debt because he didn’t have to suffer along the way. He’s in love with guilt more than anything else on the planet and that includes you and me.

Alphonse bit his bottom lip to keep from smiling, and then hit upon some inspiration, laying the record sleeve aside and standing with R.D. in his arms.

“I’m going to take R.D. for a walk. When I get back, can I have use of the den to write the letters I had you pilfer office stationery for?” he asked, smiling.

Ooooo, good one, Al congratulated.

The General smiled at him and Edward half scowled.

“You don’t need permission to use the den Al,” Edward said, “this is your house too.”

“Alright then,” Alphonse said, taking the wiggling puppy out into the hall.

***

Roy listened to the sound of dog nails scrabbling in the foyer. He knew it meant R.D. was doing a dance of excitement and joy to be going out, making it very difficult for Alphonse to get his leash on him. He was smiling to himself over it, picturing the boy trying to reason with the puppy, when something warm covered the back of the hand he had resting on the couch between he and Edward.

He spread his fingers slightly and without hesitation, Edward’s fingers moved between them as Roy tightened his fingers back together. The front door opened and closed, and Edward’s fingers tightened as well. They said nothing for a few moments as Edward still fiddled the digest in his lap with his automail hand.

Roy knew that it was usually himself that made the first overtures in situations like these. He’d learned it was just a part of loving Edward, to be the one to always bend first. He’d done it so much in Edward’s boyhood, he wasn’t sure why he thought now should be any different.

But maybe it should be, somewhat. Edward was no longer a boy; he was an adult now, having survived his crazy childhood amazingly enough, almost unscathed. That spoke volumes for Edward’s strength. Roy moved the pad of his thumb onto the back of Edward’s thumb and rubbed up and down slowly. Just as he was going to open his mouth and speak, a blonde head leaned against his shoulder.

“I love Al so much, sometimes it makes me stupid,” Edward sighed. “You do that to me too,” his voice lowered a bit, his fingers tightened more. “You put up with a lot,” he offered.

It wasn’t an apology, but it was something like it. Roy felt himself bend in the places in his heart that had become so very elastic when he actually fell in love. He turned his head and kissed the top of a blonde one, then leaned his forehead against it.

“Love doesn’t make you stupid, Edward,” he said, smile spreading despite himself, “I’m fairly certain you do that on your own.”

He then laughed, yanking his head back before the top of Edward’s connected with his nose, and fought to hold onto the fingers entangled in his. But it only lasted a minute and Edward subsided, looking at him with a soften version of his scowl.

“Okay, I deserved that,” he said flatly. “Since you’ve admitted you’re not all-seeing, I suppose I can’t tell you to warn me in advance when I’m going to have an episode of idiocy.”

“What fun would my life be if I could do that?” Roy grinned. “These little lapses between times of absolute bliss remind me I’m still earth bound.”

“Oh stop it with the mush,” Edward grimaced, “no need to punish me any further for my momentary lapses.”

“You know the best way to shut me up, don’t you?” the General raised his eyebrow.

Edward kissed him. Forgiven again.

***

Sunday evening rolled around.

The trio had lived through enough adventure for many life times, so lazy comfort and quiet was always well appreciated. They’d tried to play a few hands of cards, but one or the other of them would become distracted and the remaining two wouldn’t feel the need to pressure them into actually paying attention to the game.

Let’s speak to Brother now, Al said as Alphonse toyed with the little wooden peg game that the General kept mostly for decoration on the living room’s shelves.

Alphonse glanced across the room at his brother, half asleep on the couch where he had been working on a class assignment. His glasses were teetering on the end of his nose and his elbow looked like it was about to slide off the couch arm.

You know, you must have had to do this a lot, Alphonse said. Catch him when he’s off guard to bring up potential serious issues.

You don’t know the half of it. I’ve had more success in my life getting appliances to talk to me than Brother. They realized what a bad idea the mold they made for his stubbornness was, so they broke it before he was out of it, is my guess, Al said wryly.

What should we say first, Alphonse asked. He shuts up tighter than a virgin’s thighs if I make the wrong first move.

That’s an interesting analogy… have we had sex yet? Al asked, Because if we have, you’re hiding it well.

Alphonse felt his cheeks heat and he sucked in his bottom lip.

We’ve almost had sex. Do you remember Pamela?Alphonse said. She came really close to actually taking her shirt off once, I’m certain of it.

What happened? Al asked, riveted.

Her cat came through carrying one of its kittens in its mouth. It was so cute, Alphonse grinned. A really pretty calico cat too, and the kitten was little and white.

Remember it for me! Al said excitedly.

Anyway, after I had to go and watch the mother cat carry her whole litter from under the kitchen table to a spot behind the sofa in the living room, she seemed to lose interest. We didn’t date again after that,Alphonse said. She was always busy when I called,

I’m not getting any cat memories here, Al said, tapping his foot.

Oh right,Alphonse said and dutifully began to rerun the evening through his mind. That is when he noticed Edward watching him with the corners of his mouth pulled down.

Alphonse looked to his side to see what R.D. might possibly be doing to cause Edward to frown like that, but the little dog was nowhere to be seen. He looked back over at his elder brother.

“Al, you feeling alright?” Edward asked, pulling off the glasses threatening to come off on their own and laying them on the coffee table along with his notebook.

OH, you must have been making faces again, Al said, I warned you about that! I could see you doing in the mirror at your apartment,Al sighed.

“I’m fine,” Alphonse said, “I’m just going over some theories in my head.”

Better than saying I’m just reliving some cat memories for the disembodied voice that lives there, I suppose,Alphonse said.

I feel like a reference book, Al snorted, You only acknowledge me when you need something. You know I’ve lived this life too, only on the mostly non-vocal side.

I’m going for it, Alphonse suddenly said.

“Edward, tell me about the homunculus,” he blurted. His elder brother’s eyes widened and he sat back into the couch.

“You’re making theories on homunculus?” Edward said breathlessly. Something in his eyes cringed and Alphonse heard the click of metal fingers bunching in the blankets.

“No,” Alphonse said. “On my last mission, I captured one. Its name is Wrath, it knew who I was and I knew who it was and you need to give me some answers.”


No.

No, not that. They were past that. Their lives were their own.

“Talk to me Edward,” Alphonse said, a pleading note coming into his tone.

“I… don’t know what you want me to say,” Edward said, gaze shifting from his younger brother’s imploring look. “There is nothing to say. There are books about homunculus; I know you’ve read them.” Edward wet his lips and looked toward the arched door of the living room like he might be longing to go to it and away from this conversation.

“He called me ‘that pipsqueak Alchemist’s brother’, he knew me,” Alphonse stressed. “Edward, just tell me how I knew this thing, how it knew you. What did it mean to us? What did we do?” he pressed. “Brother, give me back my life. Please.”

Edward’s eyes darted to him at the ‘pipsqueak’ remark, his hand was resting on the arm of the couch, only resting was too sedate a word. His white-knuckled grip looked like it might snap the arm at any moment.

He still reacts to being called short, Al sighed. At least we have his attention again. Just be persistent and calm. He can’t handle calm, it wears him down. He’d much rather provoke a screaming match, it’s how he escapes really critical matters.

“It’s not like I’m asking for forbidden things. I’m not asking for you to break any laws, I just want what you know that I used to. Edward, I’m seventeen years old, but I have the feeling I should be older. I feel like part of me is missing. I know you can help me with that, please just try.” Alphonse shook with his control. Al was right, as long as he stayed calm and steady, then Edward had no good reason to bolt. Edward was a creature of fierce passion. With nothing to rage against, he was powerless.

“I don’t want to tell you,” his brother suddenly admitted in ragged tones. “I don’t want you to remember,” he turned haunted, golden eyes on Alphonse. “Al, you’re so much better off now, you don’t have to know all the things that happened. What is missing in your life now that you need so badly as to want all that… pain? Tell me, I can find something else. I’ll give you anything else, I don’t want to give you nightmares.”

“Not good enough,” Alphonse said. “That is not an excuse. I’m asking you. As your brother, your only brother, don’t keep these things from me anymore. I’m not a child to be coddled; it’s unfair and unreasonable for you to keep this from me. It’s unfair and unreasonable for you to demand everyone else do it too!” That was something that really angered Alphonse, though he’d never voiced it directly. It twisted in his gut that his brother had so much power over his life, even to those around them, that he could force their silence.

Don’t start shouting, Al said. It won’t accomplish anything. Maybe this is a bad idea, he looks scared. We don’t have to do this! You can just give over…

“To who?” Alphonse shouted. “To you? Just let you have it all back and lose everything I am?!” He realized then that he’d spoken aloud and he looked up at Edward. His brother was almost panting and he’d half raised himself from the couch.

Alphonse gained his feet, fists working, and jaw tight. Edward rose all the way as well, his eyes searching Alphonse’s face with the worst look.

Let’s stop, Al said faintly. You’re too upset, you’re upsetting him, I don’t want to upset him. He’s been through so much and this is pointless. I don’t know why you’re so afraid; I won’t take what you are! I promise!

Alphonse swallowed hard and still Edward did not speak. It was enough, it was just enough; he wasn’t a back seat to his brother’s fears! He wanted his own life, he didn’t want the one Edward wanted to mold for him! He’d given Edward six long years of searching and heartache and tears, and this is how he was thanked. It was ludicrous and wrong. What could possibly be so horrible that Edward would go to such lengths? Nothing was worth this; it was about control, plain and simple.

“What is so horrible? What was it? Something I did?,” Alphonse cried.

Edward went positively ghostly.

“NO,” he cried, “it wasn’t anything you did Alphonse, please! I know you must be frustrated but trust me…”

“What can I trust,” Alphonse retaliated, “if it’s not something I did, then what was it? Was it something you did?”

He wished, just in that moment as Al gasped in his mind and Edward reacted as if his words were a physical blow, that he could take it back.

If I back down now, I will never get anything from him, Alphonse cried. You promised you would help me!

Calm down, you have to calm down! Please don’t hurt him, Al pleaded, I know he’s stubborn, but he loves you so much and he thinks he’s doing what is right for us. He’s lived his life for us.

“I don’t want you to live my life for me,” Alphonse said, “if you live my life for me, why am I here?”

Edward’s jaw worked then, he was struggling with his breathing and he swallowed hard.

“It’s not like that,” he said, his voice almost raw. “Alphonse, you have to believe me when I tell you it’s better, it’s better not to remember. I don’t know how to convince you.” Edward reached toward him then. “We went through so much so you could have this life, please, you can be happy now. It’s all I’ve wanted.”

“I suppose what I want doesn’t matter,” Alphonse said, voice dropping.

No, that’s not true. He thinks he’s doing this for you. We have to show him… Al started.

There is no ‘we’, Alphonse said. There is me and it looks like that is all there will ever be.


“That’s not true,” Edward said. “Of course what you want matters.”

“Then answer my questions, that is what I want,” Alphonse yelled. “That is all I want from you Edward. Just answer my questions and can keep from me anything I don’t know to ask about, that way you won’t totally have to give up your precious control of my life!”

He couldn’t help it. Everything was welling up inside of him, it was like dam when the floodwaters came and they just kept coming. It was too late to stop them.

“I don’t want to control you,” his elder brother wailed. “I just want to protect you!”

“I don’t need your protection,” Alphonse returned, “I took care of myself for six years! Six year while you were off wherever you were, another one your precious secrets! I don’t care about that,” Alphonse made a sweep with his hand. “It’s obvious you don’t care enough to tell us, not me or the General. We looked for you! We worried for you and you don’t have the decency to tell us anything!”

It was all spinning out of control, he just couldn’t stop it. He had to let it out or go mad with it.

Edward’s mouth worked but little sound was heard, his fingers clenched and unclenched. He finally shook his head as if to free himself of something and his eyes were oddly bright.

“Please don’t do this to me, Al,” his elder brother begged. “Please, let me help you find another way, we always said we could find another way.”

In seeking to keep things from him, his brother inadvertently gave things to him in little slipped phrases as he’d done now, every now and again. Alphonse realized it, painfully aware, that it was more than Edward wanted to give.

“Another way,” Alphonse said slowly. “Edward, was I in armor or was I armor,” his lips pulled tight and his own breathing becoming ragged. A fear gripped him so hard and so tight, he felt his vision tunnel for a moment.

“Am I a homunculus?” Alphonse whispered.


As I told you before, do we want him having confusing visions and being unable to decipher them himself, thinking he can’t come to us because we won’t talk to him? I can only imagine some the conclusions he might draw from them. Think about this Edward; think about how much harm it might actually do.”


“No,” Edward said in a voice so thin it was unrecognizable, “no, Al.” he choked.

His younger brother stood panting, face flushed, eyes welling with unshed tears. Edward was shaking so hard he clamped his teeth together to keep them from chattering.

I have to tell him.

No, I don’t want him to remember… what I did.

I’ll lose him if I don’t.

No, he loves me. If he’ll just calm down, we can talk I can make him see why this is such a bad idea.

He’s not… the same as before.

Reality spun for a moment. Everything darkened at the edges. He heard himself, repeating over and over I’m not fifteen anymore, stop treating me like I never left!

“Still nothing,” Alphonse yelled, “If your secrets mean so much to you, then KEEP THEM! If they are more important to you than I am, THEN I DON’T NEED YOU EITHER!”

All his sins came to roost on his shoulders. He hardly felt them, as one shoulder was metal and heavy to begin with. He wondered at the numbness that held him, that concreted his tongue to the bottom of his mouth, that constricted his throat so tightly there wasn’t even the possibility to swallow.

“That’s enough,” another voice said, an outsider come to witness his final fall from the world.

Alphonse was panting hard, his unshed tears all to shed now. He stared at Roy a moment without truly seeing him, but then he did and looked as if he wondered why he was there.

“You don’t mean that Alphonse,” the General said, keeping his voice calm and level. “You’re overwrought; don’t say anything else you’re going to regret in the morning.”

But Alphonse’s pain was loose and wild and he lashed out to all sides, even to those he also longed to run to for comfort.

“STOP TAKING HIS SIDE,” Alphonse screamed through the pain. “What about me? You’re always worried about me hurting him, what about how he’s hurting me?” the boy sobbed.

Edward moved then, as if some spell was broken. Alphonse stared at him and then backpedaled to avoid his hands.

“No Al,” he was saying. “No Al, please listen to Roy, we can talk about this. I want to tell you, I just don’t know what to tell you. Alphonse, please!” Edward cried and pursued him until the General caught his arm. He jerked against it and turned to stare at Roy.

“You’re never going to give me anything important,“ Alphonse hissed. “Stop interfering with my life! I don’t care if I have to question everyone between here and East City, I’ll find out without you! There has to be someone you don’t hold some sway over, someone who will tell me the truth! I’m going back East, there is nothing for me here!” he spat, then turned and ran from the room, down the hall toward the bedrooms.

“AL,” Edward screamed after him and struggled in Roy’s grip. He turned with teeth gritted and slammed his hand against Roy’s chest, realizing belatedly it was the automail one. He gaped up at Roy, apology fumbling for exit from his lips, but Roy just grimaced and took it.

“If you go after him, you better be prepared to tell him everything and I mean everything, Ed,” Roy grated. “Nothing less is going to do it. Everything Ed, about your mother, your automail and his body.”

Edward almost convulsed in his hold and Roy dragged him against his chest.

“We tried to tell you,” Roy tried to say gently, “Riza warned you, I shouldn’t have let your pain sway me.”

Edward twisted angrily then and broke away completely. His eyes screamed for help but his mouth had other ideas.

“Saying ‘I told you so’ isn’t going to help this,” he snarled. “How can you be so petty as to bring that up now? I can’t tell him about… about that! How can you expect me to? What I did to him! How can I tell him that? Why should I have to when he doesn’t remember?”

“Withholding Alphonse’s memories is not your absolution Ed,” Roy snarled back. “Alphonse not remembering doesn’t make what happened go away!” Gods he shouldn’t have said it. Why was his judgment always looking the other way when his heart was under siege?

Edward was staring at him. His eyes no longer sought help; it was beyond the time for help.

“YOU FUCKING BASTARD,” Edward screamed. “How dare you, how dare you! It’s NOT THAT! IT’S NOT THAT! I WOULD NEVER MAKE IT ABOUT THAT!” he raged. Roy reached for him, then reacted instinctively to avoid the incoming blow, his reflexes saving him from the strike that glanced past his cheek.

“What are you doing?” Alphonse said, standing in the doorway of the living room. His suitcase struck the floor with a dull thud. “Don’t you dare hit him!” The boy charged forward and Roy leapt, throwing himself between the brothers. Alphonse ran into his chest as Edward came up against his back and they all went still and silent.

Alphonse looked up at him, shaking. Edward ground his forehead into his back, hands clutching at the back of his sweater.

“I want to take all of this from both of you,” Roy heard himself say, “and never let either of you hurt again, but I can’t do that no matter how hard I want to. I’m the only one that bends,” his voice dropped, “I’m the only one that knows how.”

“Take me to the station,” Alphonse begged, no words were going to reach him now and he wanted to run. The boy’s life centered on logic, but in this moment it failed him. “Please, Pirate.” he asked.

“Don’t go,” sounded Edward’s strangled voice from behind him, his hands dragging downward on Roy’s sweater, “please don’t go, Al. Please let me try to explain.”

But Alphonse wasn’t listening anymore. He appealed to Roy once more with his eyes, then pushed away and headed for the hall.

“Alphonse,” Roy said and caught hold of Ed as he tried to get past. Ed struggled and Roy let him go, running after Alphonse into the hall.

“Leave me alone,” Alphonse’s voice sounded high and near hysterical, moving Roy’s feet to follow after them. Alphonse had the door handle but Edward had his hands flat against the door, holding it closed.

Roy closed his hands over Edward’s shoulders and Edward turned his head to look at him, wild and desperate. Roy tightened them, pulling back, and Ed made a strangled sound of disbelief. Alphonse jerked the door open and fled out through it as Edward cried out.

“You have to let him have some distance,” Roy’s voice rolled over him, but he couldn’t think, “he has to calm down. He’s not going to listen to anything you say right now,” Roy struggled with him, pushed him against the wall and trapped his wrists. A black eye met gold and Edward arched from the wall for a moment, then collapsed back against it. Roy slowly let his wrists go, reached up beside him and pulled his coat from the rack, shrugging it on.

“I’ll try to talk to him, but what can we do right now? We can’t force him to stay here,” Roy reached to touch Ed’s face, but Ed turned his eyes away and Roy let his hand drop. Then he was out the door and gone as well.

Ed pushed off the wall, walked without seeing into the living room and just stood, unable to move past the moment.

The law of equivalency had been laid bare with the stone. The truth was a lie, but still the truth in the end, unavoidable as the rising and setting of the sun.

He thought he’d paid, but he hadn’t.

Here to collect was his atonement.