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The Road to Kindness	By : shinigamiinochi Category: Gundam Wing/AC > Yaoi - Male/Male Views: 7935 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing/AC, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 5
- 6
- 7
The Road to Kindness

Chapter 6: The British
Princess and the Blind Leading the Blind

�� Duo�s last surgery held no complications, but it left him
feeling depressed and withdrawn. Heero and Name accepted the fact that he
didn�t want to talk to anyone and gave him some space, though they never
ventured very far. Wufei tried to visit him to apologize for his behavior, but,
though he had been given medicine to help with his withdrawal, it was still
making him very irritable and he had snapped at Wufei. Wufei had been jealous
that Duo never snapped at Heero a single time and finally gave up visiting him.

�� Shortly after Duo�s last operation, he seemed much more
comfortable and his doctor started to wean him off of the morphine. However,
off the drugs, Duo became even more depressed and tried to withdraw completely,
his body feeling more of the little aches and pains. One of the few joys of the
hospital was the food. Duo had seldom ever had three meals a day, so while
Heero and Name made faces at the food, Duo couldn�t get over the fact that he
would be fed every day. He told Name and Heero this, but it only made Name
upset, so he tried to stop looking so happy about it. But, as Duo slowly
started to return to himself on the third day, he stopped eating.

��

�� You have to eat something,� Heero insisted as he sat by
Duo�s bedside. His mother had gone home earlier as she had to work, but Heero
refused to leave Duo. He still couldn�t believe that his friend was in front of
him, mostly whole and safe. When Duo was with his doctor, Heero took a shower.
Through his mother, they had managed to secure Duo a private room and, going
against several hospital regulations, Heero had brought in a second bed so he
wouldn�t leave him for sleeping. Heero knew it was silly, but he was terrified
that if he left Duo for more than a couple of hours, he would die, all alone.

�� I�m not hungry,� Duo grumbled. Heero sighed. The boy had
been very touchy since getting off his painkiller and spent his time rocking
between crying and snapping at people, but Heero was tolerant of the behavior.
Heero didn�t pity Duo for what he had gone through but he did understand that
sort of trauma created emotions like this and confessing what had happened
hadn�t made it better. Heero was just glad that he had slept better last night.
Heero had learned early on that Duo had bad nightmares without him around, but
the doctor had finally allowed Duo to sleep on his good side and that had
helped a lot, too.

�� I know you feel ill,� Heero tried, �but you had major
surgery a few days ago and you need to eat.�

�� How can you stand to look at me?� Duo demanded. Heero
stared at him.

�� Duo� what are you talking about�

�� After all that I�ve told you� why are you still here?
Aren�t you disgusted?�

�� Duo, I�m amazed!�

�� Duo�s eyes widened in shock.

�� If the same thing had happened to me� I don�t think I�d be
able to keep going like you have.�

�� Don�t say that!� Duo cried, �I�m not strong, not like
you!�

�� Duo-,� Heero started to protest, alarmed.

�� I don�t want to think of you going through what I went
through!�

�� But that�s just it! You did go through it! I care about you, Duo. Don�t you think that it
tears me up knowing what happened? But, you did survive! So, yes, I�m amazed.
I�m not disgusted.�

�� But, Wufei was right, I should have done more to fight it!
I mean, I�m a guy, if I didn�t fight it, I had to like it, right?�

�� That is such bullshit!� Heero snapped, �Wufei�s an ass.
You did everything you could. The fact that you�re a guy means nothing. Did you
tell Wes �no�?�

�� Y-yes, but sometimes� sometimes I did like it�,� Duo admitted shamefully, feeling like he was going
to combust. He couldn�t believe that he had just said that!

�� Did you want to enjoy it?� Heero asked, furious. Duo shook
his head.

�� My body liked it,� he murmured, �but it made me feel
sick.�

�� Heero nodded.

�� You can�t help what your body does, it would have reacted
the same way no matter who was touching you, whether you wanted to scream or
kiss them. You�re not weak. You were violated by someone who had control over
you. I know you feel dirty and bad right now, but it�s normal for anyone that�s
been abused, sex doesn�t even have to be involved, but because it was, it makes
you feel worse.�

�� Duo stared at him.

�� It�s� normal?� he asked, perplexed. How could this
possibly be considered normal? How could Heero ever want to be his friend again?

�� Heero rubbed the back of his head sheepishly.

�� I did a little research,� he admitted, �I want to help you
and it seemed like the best way to do it.�

�� Duo�s eyes widened.

�� There�s research on this?� he asked in disbelief. Heero
smiled brightly.

�� There�s a lot, actually. I told you, it�s normal to feel
this way. It�s not your fault, Duo, it�s his. There�s nothing you can say to me
that will make me think badly of you,� Heero assured him. Duo looked away from
him.

�� Heero, there�s nothing good left in me. There�s nothing
here worth your friendship. You may think that I�m not dirty, but I am. I�ve done disgusting things just
because I was scared and too weak to do anything about it. I betrayed you. I
hid so many things from you because I didn�t want to admit the truth. I hurt
you just so I could live in some stupid fantasy world for a little while! I�m not a good person!�

�� Heero held Duo�s hand in his. It looked so tiny sandwiched
between his bigger hands.

�� Duo, you never told Wes he could have sex with you, he
stole it from you, so as far as I�m concerned, it didn�t count. You�re not
dirty, not in my eyes. You�re not weak, you did the one thing anyone should have done; you survived.
You didn�t do anything disgusting and being scared doesn�t make you weak, it
makes you human. I am upset that you hid things from me, but only because I
could have helped you. I�m glad that
my friendship made you happy for that short while. I�m glad that my own
obliviousness gave you a little bit of peace. I�m the one that should be sorry.
I knew that there was something wrong and I didn�t do anything about it.�

�� Heero, no one did anything and it�s not like I gave you a
reason to think I was in danger.�

�� That doesn�t matter! You�re my friend and I knew that
there was something wrong, I should have tried to help you! You are a good person. You�re wrong, there
is so much good inside of you!�

�� Name one thing!� Duo demanded. Heero smiled.

�� You never betrayed me, not once, not even when you should
have.�

�� Duo frowned.

�� I don�t understand.�

�� Duo, I�ve met a lot of people and, for awhile, I tried to
have friends other than Quatre and Trowa but each and every time, everyone at
some point tried to use me, and your using me to be happy doesn�t count because
everyone does that to each other, but these people didn�t want my friendship,
they wanted my power, but you never did. Even when you were hungry, you never
stole from me.�

�� I did try once,� Duo said, looking into Heero�s eyes,
waiting for the anger to come, but this time, it didn�t.

�� But you didn�t, why?�

�� Duo looked away.

�� I just� couldn�t.�

�� Heero squeezed his hand gently.

�� Anyone else would have.�

�� You were my friend, I couldn�t
bear to do it. Wes also told me to seduce you and I couldn�t do that, either,�
Duo admitted, his eyes downcast at the thought. Heero blushed darkly.

�� Well, I�m glad that you decided not to.�

�� Why?� Duo asked bitterly, hiding his face from Heero in
case he could see the truth there, �Because it would have disgusted you?�

�� Heero�s blush deepened.

�� N-no� I��

�� Because it would have worked,� Heero thought to himself.
He tried to imagine Duo coming on to him and his face flamed to the point of
near combustion as he realized that the mere thought of it was making him hard.
Fortunately, as Duo was lying down and couldn�t sit up it was impossible for
him to see it. But, there was a darker thought under the sexy one of Duo being
interested in him; Duo being forced to seduce his best friend who, Heero still
couldn�t believe it was true, he cared for and trusted.

�� I never want to see you degrade yourself like that, not
for any reason,� Heero said. Duo blinked at him.

�� Heero, I�ve done it hundreds of times��

�� But that doesn�t make it right!� Heero pointed out, �It
just makes it worse,� he smiled, �but you won�t ever have to do it again,
that�s one thing I can do for you!�

�� Shock, relief, and pure, intense love hit Duo like a wall
of bricks. He started to cry, unable to handle the strange wash of emotions. He
tried to hide his tears, trying to curl up, but his wounds made it hurt too
much.

�� Duo!� Heero cried in alarm.

�� I don�t deserve you,� Duo said quietly as he tried to get
his tears under control. Heero brushed Duo�s bangs back.

�� Duo, that�s not true. You deserve so much� I just wish I
could do more,� Heero said, wiping Duo�s tears away, �I wish I could make all the bad stuff go away, make things hurt less somehow��

�� You�re doing a pretty good job so far,� Duo murmured,
flexing his fingers in Heero�s grip. Heero felt himself
start to blush again and wanted to look away, but he didn�t dare.

�� What if you were back on the morphine? You wouldn�t feel
any pain and you wouldn�t have any bad dreams,� Heero suggested.

�� Please, no more drugs,� Duo pleaded and Heero suddenly
felt sick, wanting to strike himself for not realizing Duo�s obvious feelings,
�I didn�t feel the pain, but all I did was float, it was too much like before��

�� Heero nodded.

�� Alright, no drugs,� he said, feeling like an even bigger
ass as Duo relaxed. He hid his face in his hand. He felt so tired. Not as tired
as Duo felt, he bet, after all, he wasn�t the one combating illness and the
affects of major surgery, but he still felt worn thin. It was the anxiety of
looking after Duo and worrying about his health, coupled by the fact that every
time he looked at the violet eyed boy, he remembered what had happened to him
and a myriad of dark emotions of sadness, fury, regret, and bitter love swirled
inside of him like a terrible current.

�� Heero, why don�t you go home?� Duo asked, noting Heero�s
posture and tense back, �I mean, it�s not right that
you�re missing school because of me and I�m sure you and your mother want
things to go back to normal, so just go home.�

�� Heero lifted his head to look at him.

�� Alright, I�ll go home if you can look me in the eye and
truthfully tell me that you don�t need me to be here.�

�� Duo bit his lip and looked guilty, knowing that the truth
was plain on his face. It was true. He felt so guilty that he was disturbing
Heero�s life, but at the same time, he was terrified of the thought of Heero
leaving.

�� Besides,� Heero said with a smile, �you�re not the only
one who needs me to be here. I�m staying, the rest of
the world will just have to deal with that because right now, you need me more
than any of them do.�

�� With that, the two boys lapsed into a comfortable silence.
Heero relaxed in his chair, tucking the sheets around Duo�s shoulders as the
bed-ridden boy snuggled into the pillows. As the minutes passed, Heero was sure
that Duo had fallen asleep.

�� You�re really not mad at me anymore?� Duo suddenly asked.

�� No,� Heero assured him, �I�m just so angry at the man that
did this to you. He had no right to put his hands on you! No one deserves
something so terrible, and you were just a child! It makes me feel sick inside.
I want to hurt him, to show him how it feels to be at the mercy of someone who
should be protecting you, not hurting you, I want to kill him! So, uh,� Heero said sheepishly, �if I seem angry
sometimes, it�s not your fault.�

�� Duo looked at Heero his eyes soft with affection.

�� I�m not mad at him� he said. Heero stared at him in shock.

�� I mean, I still hate the violence and sex and drugs, but
I�m actually grateful. If it weren�t for Wes, I�d still be living on the
streets or maybe even dead. Because of him I was able to go to school. Because
of him, I met you. So, it�s kind of hard to be pissed when you�re here with
me.�

�� Heero ran a hand through his hair.

�� Duo, that�s really fucked up,� he said shakily. Duo
laughed.

�� I know it is, but I�ve met hundreds of perverts and very
few friends,� Duo reasoned.

�� Despite Duo�s initial point, Heero found himself smiling. He was one of Duo�s friends. It made him
feel special and he knew how precious that was. He eyed Duo�s still uneaten
dinner tray.

�� Will you eat something?� he tried again. Duo looked
exasperated by Heero being so stubborn, but looked away.

�� It makes me feel sick,� he admitted, embarrassed by his
own body�s weakness. Heero frowned, not liking that fact one bit.

�� Well, you haven�t eaten anything decent in awhile, but you
still need to eat. You�re malnourished and your body needs food to heal.�

�� I know that,� Duo grumbled �I�m just so tired of feeling
sick all the time.�

�� Heero sighed.

�� Please, Duo?�

�� The desperate, pleading tone those words had cut right
through Duo�s heart and he nodded.

�� I�ll try a little.�

�� Heero beamed and picked up the soup. It was cold from sitting
there for hours, but Heero knew that Duo didn�t care. He hated that. Duo should
want the best, but he was so used to getting nothing at all that he had no
standards. It was strange to someone like Heero who was used to the best.
However, the soup was bland, perfect for Duo if he was nauseated by food. The
longhaired boy still couldn�t use his hands very well, so Heero always ended up
feeding him, much to Duo�s embarrassment, but Heero didn�t mind. Duo�s stomach
turned at the mere thought of food, but he let Heero feed him to keep him
happy.

�� Do you know what happened to my glasses?� Duo asked once
he had had enough of the soup to satisfy Heero. Heero paused, thinking hard.
The night that he had brought Duo to the hospital was still a blur to him, he
couldn�t even remember if Duo had had his glasses on when he had found him in
his house. Truthfully, he didn�t miss the glasses one bit. He was used to
seeing Duo�s naked, handsome face now. His glasses had made him look cute, but
he looked even cuter without them. Heero reasoned that if he couldn�t remember
if Duo had arrived at the hospital with the glasses, Duo probably wouldn�t
remember, either.

�� I�ll ask your doctor,� he tried to assure him. Duo nodded,
but frowned. The thought of losing his glasses was unsettling. He had no health
assurance, no money, and now he had no way of making any. The thought of
continuing his life of prostitution made his skin crawl. He felt sick, weak,
and pitiful, but the thought that he wouldn�t ever have to spread his legs for
money or shelter or safety again made him feel damn giddy, even if it was
unlikely. The one thing that he couldn�t stomach to think of right now was the
future. Once he was all better, he would have nowhere to go. Hell, he couldn�t
even pay for his hospital bills! Prostitution was all he knew, but Heero had
destroyed him. It was because of him that he had lost the ability to cope with
it anymore, though, no matter how hard he tried, he couldn�t muster up any
anger at that. Getting new glasses seemed tiny in the ocean of worries he had.
He couldn�t go back to the streets, Wes would find him
in a heartbeat! Now that he had finally made the decision to sever all ties to
the man, both the threat of being found by him and going back to selling
himself felt terrible.

��

�� Heero left Duo�s room in search for Dr. Stark. He didn�t
like leaving him alone, even for a few minutes, the memory of Duo running away
in the storm still fresh in his mind, but Heero also wanted to make him as
comfortable as possible and he thought that getting Duo some glasses seemed
like a step in the right direction. He eventually found the doctor in the
employee lunch room, making himself a cup of coffee.

�� Heero, you shouldn�t be in here,� Stark said in annoyance
as Heero entered.

�� I know, I�m sorry,� Heero apologized, �but I was wondering
if you remember if Duo was wearing glasses when I brought him in.�

�� Stark�s brow furrowed in concentration.

�� I don�t believe so.�

�� Are you sure?� Heero insisted.

�� Yes, I�m positive. Does he have bad eye problems?� Stark
asked.

�� Heero ran a hand through his messy hair.

�� Yeah. He needs his glasses, but
he doesn�t have a prescription,� he explained. The doctor raised an eyebrow at
that.

�� Well, we do have an optometrist on staff, but he mostly
helps with eye surgeries and those who have lost their sight and need help
adjusting, but I�m sure he�ll be willing to have a look at Mr. Maxwell.�

�� Heero immediately brightened.

�� Where is he?� he asked eagerly. Stark looked at his watch.

�� He should be coming off his break soon, but you might be
able to catch him in the cafeteria. His name�s Doctor James-,�

�� Thanks, Doctor!� Heero yelled and ran out of the room.

�� Hey!� Stark yelled, �No running!� He sighed as he heard
Heero continue running, his footfalls heavy in the quiet hospital, �Damn kids,�
he muttered to himself.

��

�� Duo opened his eyes in complete darkness and panicked. He hadn�t
intended on falling asleep, but it had to be night if the lights were off, or
maybe Heero had decided to take a nap, too, only Duo knew that wasn�t true. It
wasn�t the darkness that made him panic, though the dark did make him feel edgy
now after what Wes had done in that dark room. Usually he could see the light
of the heart monitor, but he was on his side facing away from it and was still
too weak to turn over without some help. He had known the very second he had
opened his eyes that he was alone and that was much scarier than the dark. He
hated this hospital. He had never felt this weak before and the knowledge that
he was now alone and that everyone who walked the halls was heavily equipped
with needles and sharp things made him want to run, if he could only muster the
strength to stand. He stayed still, listening for the wonderful sound of
Heero�s familiar breathing, something that he had become strongly attuned to in
the last few days, but he was met with only silence. His heart raced as he realized
he couldn�t even hear the heart monitor, only a light dripping sound. He tried
to reach out for Heero�s chair, but something was pinning his body down and he
couldn�t move an inch. His violet eyes widened in the darkness.

�� Heero! he tried to yell, but no sound escaped him, there was only
that annoying, steady dripping.

�� Suddenly, the door opened and someone walked into the room,
but Duo didn�t need any light to know who it was. He knew his footsteps, his
scent, his breathing� he had been so intoned to the man�s mere presence since
his childhood that he could sense him even if he was blind and deaf. The lights
were flicked on and Duo�s scream was caught in his throat. He had been wrong;
Heero hadn�t left him alone�

�� He was sitting in the chair by his bedside, as always, his
deep blue eyes permanently staring at him, his head tilted to the side, his
neck slashed so deeply he could see the bone, his green shirt soaked in blood
so dark it was almost black and it made a soft dripping sound as it ran down his
slack hand.

�� Duo!�

�� It was the sound of Heero�s voice that woke him. His eyes
shot open, but even in the bright light of the room, it was like he was still
blind. He latched onto the familiar sound of his best friend�s voice. Dead
people couldn�t talk, dead people couldn�t plead the living to wake up or ask
why they were shaking, why they were crying. For the first few seconds of
waking, all Duo knew was Heero�s voice, he didn�t need
any other information. Joy and adrenaline coursed through him and he twisted in
bed, managing to sit up and wrap his arms around Heero tightly. The IVs in his
arms tugged at his skin unpleasantly, but he barely felt them as he came into
contact with Heero�s warm and very real body.

�� Heero watched in alarm as Duo lurched forward and clutched
at him desperately, still crying, and one of his IV lines caught, wrapped
around his arm, pulling at his skin. Realizing that Duo�s weak grip on him was
the only thing keeping him from crashing to the floor, Heero gently wrapped an
arm around Duo�s back, being careful of the bandaged parts of his body.

�� Duo, don�t do that!� Heero yelled, but Duo didn�t seem to
hear him, tangling his thin fingers in Heero�s shirt.

�� Not� dead?� Duo�s words were muffled as he attempted to
bury his face in his friend�s chest, but Heero heard him and was becoming more
alarmed by the minute. He stroked Duo�s hair and cheek, noting how cold and
shaky he was.

�� Duo, I�m fine, I�m alive, see?� he untangled Duo�s hand
from his top, slipped it under his shirt, and pressed it against his breast.

�� Not dead,� Heero said softly.

�� Not dead,� Duo echoed, the warmth of Heero�s skin and the
feeling of his heartbeat under his fingertips helped to bring him out of his
lingering nightmare and into reality. The two boys blushed as their position
suddenly dawned on them. Heero tried to deny how good it felt to have Duo�s
thin hand on his bare skin, but it was useless. Duo hesitantly withdrew his
hand, blinking in the bright light.

�� I had a bad dream,� he realized. Heero nodded.

�� Are you ok?� he asked, looking at Duo�s eyes, bloodshot
from crying.

�� I-I think so� it just seemed so real��

�� Heero carefully helped Duo back onto his side on the bed
and tucked him back in. He nervously checked the IV lines untangling them and
found that no blood had leaked into them, but he was still worried. After
everything that Duo had been through, he wasn�t sure how much more he could
take. Duo looked down at his hand. It was still warm with Heero�s body heat and
his skin seemed to tingle. He couldn�t get rid of his blush. As shell shocked
and relieved he was in the aftermath of his nightmare, he couldn�t get it out
of his head, he had touched Heero�s chest, not only touched it, but Heero had
been the one to initiate it. If things had been different, he might have
reached out and tried to touch him again, but he didn�t dare. The world was too
fragile. He felt that if he took any chance, he would fall off or things would
shatter. He couldn�t move, couldn�t breathe in fear that he would end up destroying
everything when he had finally been given a second chance. Then there was the
dream. He knew that once it faded, he would look back and see his reactions as
silly, but right now it seemed so wondrous that Heero was alive. He had no idea
what was going to happen now. His future had always seemed a sure thing when he
was with Wes, he knew that he would always be a whore, always be under Wes�
thumb, but now things were different and he didn�t know where he stood, but,
beyond that, he didn�t know where Wes stood. Would he leave him alone for good,
fearful that the Yuys might come after him? Would he
try to find him once he was out of the hospital and Heero wasn�t around to
protect him? Or, worse of all, would he not care about the Yuys�
power and do what he had done in his dream, bring him back to that terrible
place, that place of pain and sex, darkness and quiet, where there was no time
and no sense of the real world, killing Heero in order to do it? Did Wes �love�
him so much that he would continue to come after him until one or both of them
were dead? Duo shivered amongst the blankets, Heero�s dead eyes from his dream
lingering in his thoughts.

�� I shouldn�t have left you alone,� Heero apologized, not
realizing Duo�s dark thoughts or seeing his shiver, �I wasn�t thinking.�

�� Duo gave Heero an exasperated look, but it was quickly
ruined by the affectionate smile on his face.

�� You can�t always be here, Heero,� he pointed out, �I have
to stand on my feet at some point and you have to go back home and to school.�

�� I can try,� Heero protested, �besides, right now, you need
help and I shouldn�t have left you, expecting things to be fine!�

�� But they are fine!�
Duo insisted, �I have bad, vivid nightmares all the time.�

�� But you shouldn�t be having them!�

�� Duo snorted.

�� I �shouldn�t� a lot of things.�

�� Heero sighed.

�� Anyways, I couldn�t find your glasses and no one remembers
you having them. I�m afraid we won�t get them back.�

�� Duo�s expression fell. So, he would have to deal with his
poor, blurry vision the rest of his life? He supposed that he could find
another pair like he had the first, but that had been merely a lucky chance of
finding a pair of glasses that worked for him and were intact. Well, it could
be worse, he thought, he could be blind.

�� Well, you tried,� Duo said dejectedly, but Heero grinned,
unabashed.

�� But this hospital has an optometrist. He�s waiting
outside. He doesn�t usually do it like this, but he said that he�d check out
your eyes.�

�� Duo stared at his friend in shock. At the same time it made
him happy that Heero had gone through the trouble, he was also annoyed that
Heero seemed oblivious to his financial situation and had wasted the doctor�s
time.

�� Heero, I have no way of paying for this! Glasses are
expensive and I have no insurance! Even if I did have the money, I wouldn�t
spend it on that!�

�� Heero frowned.

�� Duo, you don�t honestly think that we�re going to hold you
responsible for paying for your hospital bills, do you?�

�� Of course I do!� Duo snapped, �And at this rate, I�ll
never get it paid off, so I can�t afford to fix my vision, let alone have
someone give me a check up!�

�� Duo, my mom is paying for all this,
we would never make you pay a cent! I thought you knew that� Heero said,
sounding slightly wounded. Duo stared at him in shock.

�� But� why would she do that?� he asked, confused. Heero�s
expression looked tired as though he had never thought he would have to have
this conversation.

�� We care about you, Duo. We want to see you healthy and
happy. We are both aware that you can�t pay for anything right now, but even if
you could, we�d still be doing it. Wes took so much from you, we just want to
help you get back on your feet. It�s just money and for us, it�s not even that
much, so let us do this for you, ok? It would make Mom really happy,� Heero
said, knowing that the second he brought up his mother�s happiness, Duo would
fold. He knew that it was probably a low blow, but he really didn�t want Duo to
feel guilty about it.

�� Alright,� Duo said hesitantly, his annoyance at being
pitied subdued. He wanted to fight it, but he knew that there was no way he
could pay off his bills, even if he had years. Besides, he didn�t want to fight
with Name after all she had done for him. If supporting him financially made
her feel good, he had no right to tell her not to. He supposed that he could
avoid the whole issue by just disappearing as soon as he was better, but he
really didn�t want to. He felt sick just thinking about it. He was so torn and
he had no idea what he was going to do. He had no home, but now that he was
finally with Heero again, he didn�t want to leave. It was strange, he had known
the future for so long, though it had been bleak, but now that he was finally
somewhere good and safe he felt so lost.

�� Will you let Dr. James look at your eyes?� Heero asked in
a pleading tone. Duo nodded. He hated the thought of leeching off of his
friend�s mother, but Heero got upset every time he tried to fight against it
and he really did want to fix his vision.

�� Ok, I�ll do it.�

�� Heero looked relieved and left Duo�s side to open the door.
As he led the optometrist into the room, he apologized for making him wait, but
the doctor brushed him off.

�� Dr. James was not an impressive man. He was only a few
inches taller than Duo with warm brown eyes and mousy brown hair and a thin,
neatly kept beard. He smiled disarmingly at Duo as he approached the bed.

�� Hello, Mr. Maxwell, how are we feeling today?� the doctor
asked warmly. Duo immediately felt no threat from him and relaxed. The doctor
reminded him of Quatre a little, non-threatening and honest.

�� A little tired and nauseous, but I�m getting better,� he
admitted. James took a seat by Duo�s bed.

�� Mr. Yuy has informed me that you can�t get out of bed or
sit up, is this correct?�

�� Duo nodded.

�� It hurts too much if I try.�

�� Ok, well, I can�t give you a complete exam without my
machines, but I can give you a preliminary exam here. Can you tell me what your
vision is like without glasses or contacts?�

�� I can see things close to me ok, but anything more than a
couple of feet away gets really blurry and things turn
into these distorted shapes and colors,� Duo explained. James frowned.

�� Alright, could you take your contacts out?� he asked. Duo
looked confused.

�� I don�t wear contacts.�

�� James� eyes widened.

�� Then, your eyes are naturally violet?� he asked. Duo
nodded.

�� Interesting,� the doctor murmured, �and how long have you
been having vision problems?�

�� Since I was a kid,� Duo said, �it�s been a few years.�

�� Ok. I�m going to put pressure on your skull to see if
there might be some neurological damage, though it could be that you�re just
near sighted.�

�� Ok,� Duo said, giving a small flinch as the man moved his
fingers over his head, pressing them into his hair. It didn�t hurt, he just
didn�t like strange men getting close to him or touching him. When he had been
living on the streets, he had had a natural distrust of everyone, but when Wes
had gotten a hold of him, he quickly learned to be afraid of men. He thought
that after all the years of being touched by men, he wouldn�t be so timid
around them anymore, but that distrust remained. After those long weeks in that
dark room, Duo had learned that intimacy was something to be scared of, even if
it was just a light touch. Hugging Heero was about the only thing he could
stand without wanting to either lash out or stand still. He remembered the dark
and the cold, not hearing or seeing or feeling except for the pain and the
humiliation. He hated being touched at all now at the same time he felt so
horribly lonely and panicked when he was alone. He hated nights at this
hospital, stuck in bed in the darkness. Heero was the only thing keeping him
from going insane in those times; he was the only thing that was different from
reality and his memories. He forced himself to stay still, though, as James
examined him. This wasn�t something that he had thought would happen. He was
grateful and excited to have at least one stressor gone. He didn�t have to
worry about paying for his hospital bills, at least. It amazed Duo how easily
he could argue with Heero. It wasn�t just about the bills, either. He had
fought with him from the moment they had met. He had such a hard time standing
up for himself. Wes� lesson of pain and obedience was so deeply engrained in
his psyche that he couldn�t even speak out in class if he thought someone or
something was wrong. He wondered if his ability to stand up against Heero was
due to how comfortable and relaxed he felt around him. It was hard to
understand sometimes. Heero had hurt him and he felt so vulnerable around him,
but he also trusted him and felt safe when he was with him.

�� Duo cried out as James pressed against a spot on the back
of his head that sent white-hot agony shooting through his brain.

�� What the hell did you do?!� Heero snarled, ready to
protect his friend.

�� In relation to any other pain you�ve felt, on a scale from
one to ten, how much did that hurt?� James asked, ignoring Heero and completely
focused on his patient.

�� S-seven,� Duo stammered, shaking
slightly as the after math of the pain made him feel sick. In the past he would
have labeled it as an eight before being raped and beaten by Wes and Chris
after sleeping over Heero�s, his first rape, being fucked by a stun baton, and
when Wes had slammed his head into the floor, but after surviving a ruptured
spleen and being repeatedly injected with KL6, he dropped it to a seven. James
withdrew his fingers and Duo relaxed.

�� Have you ever experienced any head trauma?� James asked.

�� When I was a kid, I hit my head,� Duo explained.

�� Heero paled. He had heard this story before, but after
hearing about Duo�s past, he was able to see past the lie to the truth. Duo had
hidden the injury and Heero had believed him. How many other things were lies?
How many times had he let his friend down by refusing to see the obvious?

�� Duo,� he scolded. Duo blushed. He had been hiding the
truth for so long that the lie had come automatically. It was going to be hard
remembering that he didn�t have to lie anymore.

�� I tried to run away from home,� Duo started over, �but my
father caught me. He slammed my head into the floor a couple of times. After
that, my vision started to go.�

�� Heero gritted his teeth and had to look away to hide his
furious expression and James paled.

�� I see, I�m sorry,� he murmured solemnly, �in any case, I
think I have a good idea what�s wrong, but I want to make completely sure
before I take any action. I�m going to schedule a CAT scan for you a few days
from now. By then, you should be mobile enough, but until then, I�m going to
write a prescription for some glasses. They won�t completely fix the problem,
but they should help with the near-sighted-ness,� he looked at Heero, �there�s
a store a few blocks from here. I�m sure Mr. Yuy will be happy to pick up a
pair for you.�

�� Heero nodded.

�� Of course I will.�

�� Duo blinked at them. Was it really that simple?

�� Is there anything else I can do for you?� Dr. James asked
Duo. Duo shook his head.

�� No, but thank you. I�m really
grateful�

�� We both are,� Heero corrected, shaking the optometrist�s
hand.

�� I�m glad to help. I�ll tell Dr. Stark to inform you of
your appointment with me. We�ll meet again, but until then, I hope you get
well!� the doctor said and left the two with an optimistic smile.

��

�� The stabbing pain in Duo�s head and behind his eyes
vanished but with the withdrawal crawling through his veins, stressful physical
therapy to help with the surgeries, broken ribs, his damaged back, and general
frustration with his lack of progress, he was exhausted and quickly fell
asleep. Usually, Heero would get to read to him or just talk to help Duo pass
the time through the pain, but he was glad for times like these, too, when he
got to watch him sleep. His face relaxed in sleep, the guarded, ancient look
vanishing to be replaced with one of childish vulnerability. He was pretty, it
hurt Heero to look at him, but it was not his attractiveness that made things
hurt the most, it was the difference between the looks, the realization that
both people resided inside of Duo, both the tired man and the victimized child,
it was the memory that he had struck that sweet face only one month ago. Just
the thought of hitting him now made him feel sick.

�� This is where I hit him,� he thought as he stroked Duo�s
cheek.

�� Please, you�re my
best friend.�

�� Don�t
touch me, don�t you dare put your disgusting hands on me.�

�� Heero looked down at Duo�s hands as they curled in the
blankets. They were horribly thin and white, the knuckles standing out against
the skin. They were terrible, but they were also beautiful, soft and pretty.
How could he have ever thought that Duo�s hands were disgusting? His stomach
churned at the memory. He was no better than Wes, hitting Duo out of anger,
anger he hadn�t even deserved! He deserved better, better than a so-called
friend that would strike him and call it �justified�. But, he didn�t want to
let go of him, even if Duo deserved someone else. He wouldn�t hit him again, he
couldn�t bear it. He kissed Duo�s cheek.

�� I love you,� he murmured to the silent room.

�� To strengthen his back and abdomen muscles, Duo had to
undergo intense physical therapy twice a day. It left him exhausted and
depressed, but it paid off. The day after they had met Dr. James, Duo�s wounds
were healed and his back muscles had strengthened enough that Dr. Stark thought
he was ready to at least sit up. Heero couldn�t help but feel proud as he
helped get Duo settled once more. Stark had told them that Duo would probably
be able to start walking around in a few days, if he kept up with his therapy
and the wounds in his back and side healed properly.

�� Duo gasped as he managed to sit up with Heero�s help. Dr.
Stark had been worried that the position would tax his damaged back muscles and
pull on his surgical wounds in his side and his anus, but now that he had
healed enough, he was able to do it, but it still hurt like hell. After so long
on his back, both in the apartment and in the hospital, even a small movement
like trying to sit up seemed like a huge task to him. His muscles strained and
he felt dizzy with the change of position. Everything felt tight and bunched
up, but it wasn�t the agony it would have been a few days ago. He wondered why
it hurt so much now when before he had been walking about under his own power.
It was frustrating. For as long as he could remember, he had had the strength
to keep going, even when he had been raped. Where was that strength now? He
felt like someone had pulled him inside out, scraped him raw, and put him back
together completely hollow. He couldn�t see how Heero could stand him now, so
weak that he needed help just with basic functions. He should have felt
triumphant about being able to sit up, but it only showed him just how pathetic
he was. In the past, it had only taken him hours, days at the very most, to be
moving around, but now it seemed like it was taking forever. Beyond that, he
felt miserable. His headache had started to build since last night and it was
slowly building to an almost intolerable level. He didn�t know if it was the
pain in his head or his twisting stomach, but he had no appetite, which had
frustrated Heero, but after a few hours of arguing, his friend finally conceded
that it was probably a bad idea to try to force him to eat if he felt sick. He
felt cold, right down to the bones, especially along his spine. When he had
first woken up feeling that way, he was sure that the heat was broken, but
Heero had never complained. He glimpsed over at Heero, who was watching him
intently, and turned away, blushing. He looked so warm and cozy� he just wanted
to lift up his sexy black t-shirt and snuggle under it against his soft, yet
hard chest. His fingertips could still remember what that skin had felt like�
he blinked and felt his face flame further. His thoughts had been so odd
lately. He scratched at his arm. His muscles felt oddly itchy and it was
hurting his back sitting up like this, but he bore it. All he could focus on
was each step towards being able to walk out of here.

�� Heero watched as Duo struggled to maintain his sitting
position. He couldn�t believe how quickly he was healing. He kept remembering
that night that he had picked Duo up and how sick he had been. Then, he had
been so weak and in so much pain after his surgeries, the drugs the only thing
keeping him from crying. But now, he was starting to sit up on his own. He
couldn�t help but be proud of him.

�� Duo blinked in confusion as strong arms wrapped around him
and he was pressed to an equally strong chest.

�� Heero?�

�� Heero tightened his grip on his friend, loving how his
slender form felt in his embrace and trying to ignore how good his skin felt
against his.

�� I�ve wanted to do this since I found you,� Heero murmured
against Duo�s hair. Duo felt like he was going to combust, Heero�s heat washing
over his chilled skin and his scent overwhelmed him. His heart pounded in his
chest and he felt his arms want to shake, but he ignored the feeling and
wrapped his arms around Heero in return, reveling in his warmth.

�� I�m so proud of you,� the blue eyed boy whispered. Duo�s
eyes widened and he pushed away from him, sagging against the pillows and
staring up at him in shock.

�� How can you say that?� he hissed, �I can�t even stand up
and you�re proud of me?!�

�� Heero�s blue eyes hardened.

�� Yes, I�m very proud of you.�

�� Duo shook his head.

�� I can�t believe you,� he murmured, �after all of this
time, how can you say that? You�ve seen me at my lowest, you�ve seen me when
I�ve been drugged out of my mind and being fucked and� you can�t be proud of
me!�

�� Heero glared at him.

�� I�ve seen you fighting the affects of powerful drugs. I�ve
seen you pull through while bleeding and barely breathing. I�ve seen you take
the most abuse and beatings I�ve ever seen a person take and end up standing at
the end! If that�s something to be proud of, I don�t know what is!�

�� Duo glared right back, fighting down a stray shiver.

�� Look at me! Everything�s going so slowly and I can�t
figure out why! Something�s wrong with me and I can�t figure out what it is!
All my life, no matter how much pain I�ve been in, I�ve always been able to
pull together and heal, but now, I�m so pathetically weak, it�s like my body
has stopped! I can�t heal anymore, I just� can�t!� Duo squeezed his eyes shut.
It was true. His body didn�t have anything left in it to heal. He was going to
end up stuck in this bed forever. The fear of that happening, with Heero
becoming sick of him and leaving him all alone in this terrible place, made him
want to vomit even more. Truthfully, he knew that in the end, he had nowhere to
go and he was just going to end up on the street again, away from Heero in his
big, white house, but the thought of Heero leaving him was so much more
terrifying than the thought of him leaving Heero. He was so sick of feeling so
powerless! He slammed his fists against his legs over and over, the feeling of
violence something of a comfort. Pain flared up his legs, but he didn�t care,
he just wanted to hurt himself. His eyes shot open again as Heero grabbed his
wrists and one hand and caressed his cheek with the other. Duo felt himself
blush again as he realized Heero�s strength, but still felt no fear of him.

�� Duo Maxwell, you are the strongest person I have ever met.
You�ve been through major surgery, of course it�s
going to take awhile for you to get better! You need to cut your body a little
slack!�

�� Duo looked away from him.

�� But, I�ve always been able to keep going, even when I
didn�t want to, even when I thought I was going to die. But now, it�s so hard,
it�s taking too long, I don�t have anything left to give��

�� Heero sighed.

�� But Duo, you never really let yourself heal in the first
place. Just being able to keep going, isn�t healing. But now, you can finally
stop and rest. For the first time in years, you�re safe and your body knows
that. Just let it heal.�

�� Duo stared at him.

�� I don�t know how,� he admitted, �Just surviving is all I know.�

�� Heero lifted the sheets and tucked them around Duo�s
shivering body.

�� Just rest, I�ll take care of the rest.�

�� Heero honestly didn�t know what to do about Duo. It was so
frustrating, one minute he seemed so rested and relaxed and the next he was
trying to hurt himself. He didn�t know how to deal with his friend�s fears and
concerns, he felt like all he could do was prove to him that he would never abandon
him. It scared him sometimes, knowing that he was the only one Duo could rely
on. He felt so small and useless in the face of Duo�s problems. He wasn�t a
psychologist and he knew that he was treading in dangerous territory, but he
couldn�t back down or just try to wait for Duo to pull himself up. Wufei had
already bailed and Duo seemed to lack the patience to even attempt to deal with
him anymore. Quatre and Trowa visited once in awhile. When they could spare the
time and Name was also a frequent visitor, for which Heero could tell Duo was
very, very grateful, but he could also tell that Duo needed someone he trusted
around all the time. Duo tried to act tough and independent about it, but Heero
could see that it was just an act.
Whenever he left the room, Duo was suddenly terrified and even Heero knew that
level of stress wasn�t good for him at this stage. He remembered what Duo had
told them about Wes putting him in that dark room for weeks, drugged,
vulnerable, and alone, in total silence. He had no idea what sort of effects
that level of sensory derivation would have on a person, but Heero knew that
the worst of Duo�s panic attacks were triggered by a feeling of abandonment and
the darkness. Duo had told him that he had to stand on his own two feet at some
point, but right now, Heero knew that Duo needed, very badly, to lean on
something. He was just glad that he could be that something. Despite Duo�s
insistence that he was being pathetic and weak, in the face of what Duo had
told them about his past, all Heero could see was strength.

�� Heero watched as Duo slept. His nose was scrunched up in a
way that reminded him of a puppy, a sure sign that he was in some sort of pain.
From his subdued, almost lethargic or listless behavior that day, Heero thought
that it was probably a headache. He had one once a day and knew that they were
getting worse instead of better, but he didn�t know what that meant. The
blankets were wrapped tightly around Duo�s slumbering body, but he was still
shivering. Heero didn�t know what else to do to make him warmer and the room
wasn�t all that cold, Heero was just glad that Duo was asleep now and hoped
that he was some place away from the pain and the cold. When he was sure that
his friend wasn�t going to stir anytime soon, he walked the three feet to his
own bed and slid in. His mother was coming in the afternoon and he made sure
that he got a good night sleep. He knew just how upset she would be if she
thought that he wasn�t taking care of himself. It was strange spending so much
time away from her. He missed her and he knew that she missed him since she
told him that at every opportunity, though she also told him that she
understood and was proud that he was so dedicated to his friend. He thought
that his feelings were pretty ridiculous, though, since Name wanted him to go
to college when he graduated from high school, if he graduated at this point. It was odd, he had always had plans
to do whatever he could to avoid college, but now he didn�t know. He wanted to
say that being friends to Duo had nothing to do with his sudden urge to try to
go to school, but that was a lie. After meeting Duo, he had realized just how
lucky he was. He had always known that, but it had just been a given fact for
him. Now, after finding out what Duo�s life was really like, he realized that
all those things he had considered inevitable were really gifts and he had no
right to think of anything in his life as a mechanism of his own doing. He used
to think that he was independent, but now it was clear to him that it was not
himself but his mother that was solely responsible for every good thing that
had ever happened to him. He hated that fact about himself. Most of Duo�s life
had been lead by Wes, but he was still more independent than Heero had ever been.
He wanted to be that way, but he
couldn�t just change for the sake of it anymore. He had fought against his
mother and his teachers because it had made him feel better than them, as
though he had some power or authority over them, but he was starting to realize
that those events were nothing more than the tantrums of a child. Unless there
was something he wanted and was willing to fight for, what was the point of
fighting at all? He had no idea what he would want to do there if he did go to
college, but he wanted to try. More than that, he wanted Duo to have the same
opportunities that he had, in everything. Duo had the attitude that he wouldn�t
even be able to graduate high school and Heero realized with a great deal of
sadness that Duo going to college had been an impossibility, even at a cheap
school and tons of scholarship money. That fact made his heart ache. It made
him hate himself and everything he had. He wanted to give Duo everything in the
world, but right now, all he could do was try to help him heal. With self hate
and worry burning inside of him, Heero managed to fall asleep, but it was
fitful and he awoke several times during the night, each time taking hours to
fall back to sleep.

�� Heero!�

�� Heero shot awake at the sound of Duo�s sobbing, pain filled
voice crying for him. Heero was wide awake and at his friend�s side in seconds.

�� What�s wrong?!� Heero demanded. Duo looked terrible. His
face was slightly flushed, his hair messy, his eyes dulled in pain, and there
were dark circles under his eyes. Heero realized that, though he had thought
that Duo had slept peacefully, he had gotten very little rest.

�� Duo flinched at the heavy sound of Heero�s voice and his
head throbbed in intense pain.

�� It hurts,� he moaned in pain, �it hurts so much!� Duo�s
body was limp as he spoke, the stillness of his form only broken by harsh
shivers.

�� What hurts?� Heero asked, keeping his voice low as he
realized that Duo�s flinch was because of him.

�� My head,� Duo�s voice was soft and almost nonexistent,
�it�s splitting. Something�s burrowing inside. Oh, fuck� it�s so hot�� Duo
squeezed his eyes shut, �it�s tearing apart,� he whimpered and opened his eyes
again. They were filled with unshed tears as he looked at Heero.

�� Make it stop, Heero, please, it hurts so much!� he
shivered again.

�� I can hear singing,� he murmured wearily,� can you hear
it?�

�� It was a woman�s voice, Duo realized, light and melodic,
with an accent reminiscent of someone from New York, though it was so light, he
couldn�t be positive. It sounded so familiar, but he couldn�t place it. He
could hear it so clearly, but it didn�t hurt him like the sharp sounds of the
heart monitor. It was a lullaby, he realized, it was so soothing�

�� I�m going to get the doctor,� Heero said in a panic,
getting up from Duo�s bedside chair. This was bad. He knew that Duo�s head
aches were getting bad, but he was actually crying in pain and hallucinations
weren�t a good sign in any situation.

�� No!� Duo screamed, making a feeble grab for Heero�s shirt,
trying to keep him from leaving, but his grip was too weak and all he could do
was cling.

�� Duo�� Heero murmured, worried at the longhaired boy�s
intense distress.

�� Don�t leave me, please, Heero. I�m so scared,
don�t leave me all alone�� Duo�s hand slipped from Heero�s shirt ad dangled
limply over the edge of the bed as a strong shiver went through him. Heero
hesitated, torn in two. Duo had asked hi to make the pain stop, but now he was
asking him to stay. He had no idea what to do! In the end, the absolute terror
in Duo�s eyes won out and he sat back down.

�� I�m not going to leave you alone, Duo, I�ll never leave you alone, I promise. Don�t
be scared, ok? I�m going to stay right here!� Heero said with a tone of
desperation and tucked Duo�s arm back under the covers. Fuck, but he looked so
weak, he was in so much pain and he couldn�t help him!

�� Promise me,� Duo pleaded, his eyes growing heavy and they
became half lidded, losing the power to stay open.

�� I promise, I�ll never abandon you,� Heero said vehemently.
The tension started to leave Duo�s muscles and he relaxed into his pillow, damp
with his tears and seat. Heero watched with baited breath as Duo, exhausted
with pain and exertion, fell asleep. He sighed and dropped his face into his
hands. Duo was sick, really, really sick, and there was nothing he could do
about it.

�� Mom, I wish you were here.�

�� Heero refused to fall back asleep. On the one hand, he was
tired and yearned for the alluring comfort of sleep, but on the other, he felt
more awake than he had been in his entire life, with the obvious exception of
that first night he had brought Duo to the hospital. His worry for his best
friend was making adrenaline surge through his veins. He wanted to run out of
the room, grab Dr. Stark, and demand that he heal Duo, but he didn�t dare leave
him. He had promised, after all. Besides, the fear of Duo dying solely because
he had dared to leave him alone was back.

��

�� Unfortunately, Duo didn�t sleep for long. A half an hour
later, Duo blinked awake. The pain in his head was surging, the immensity of it
making his stomach churn and bile rise in his throat. The flush on his face had
been replaced by a paper-white paleness.

�� Heero�� he croaked, his throat feeling dry and swollen to
him.

�� Do you need some water?� Heero asked in concern, still
keeping his voice soft and light.

�� No,� Duo said lightly and he looked away in embarrassment.

�� I-� I think I have to throw up��
he admitted weakly. Heero quickly got to his feet and, making sure he stayed
close to Duo and in his sight, he rummaged through the wall cabinets for a bed
pan and returned to his friend�s side.

�� Here,� he rolled Duo onto his side and gently brushed his
sweaty hair from his face.

�� I�m sorry,� Duo cried, even as his stomach churned and
lurched.

�� It�s gross, I�m sorry.�

�� It�s ok,� Heero soothed, �it�s not gross. Now come on,
you�ll feel better.�

�� Duo felt his shame leave at Heero�s words, which was a
strange thing for him. He was used to the shame and he was used to its never
ending grip on him, so it was strange that Heero could vanquish it so easily.
He dry heaved more than he threw up since he had eaten so little. The heaving
was terrible, it made him feel like his stomach was
trying to crawl out of his throat. When the heaves finally stopped, he blacked out, the last thing that he was aware of was Heero�s yelling
for him.

�� He was twelve again. Duo was semi-aware that he was
dreaming at the same time that he was stuck and being absorbed by it. No, that
wasn�t correct� it wasn�t a dream so much as a memory. He was in Wes�
apartment, in the kitchen. He was wearing a faded pair of jeans, but no shirt.
He was making a sandwich with some leftover tuna fish and stale bread that Wes
had been planning on throwing away. Wes had proclaimed that he had done well
last night and had told him to make himself a lunch. That was his biggest
problem, living with Wes, he never knew if he had done a good job or a bad job. It
never seemed to matter how much money he made, or at least, it didn�t matter in
consideration of Wes feeding him. He could never figure out the formula to Wes�
�logic�, and he never would. It was raining out now in his dream, even though
there were no windows, Duo could still hear it as it hit the roof. It had been
raining back then, too. Wes was sitting at the table with Chris and one of his
drug runners, a man they sometimes called Fish and sometimes called Bob, though
Duo could tell that that wasn�t his real name. He had no idea why any man would
be called �Fish�, but the runner seemed to accept it as his name. He wasn�t
very tall, his slightly tanned face worn, though he was younger than Wes, and
freckled. His dull brown hair was short, but terribly messy, his olive eyes
looking around the kitchen frantically as he always did. He sniffed a lot and smelled
faintly of tomatoes, which irritated Duo for some reason. He was scrawny and
Duo seldom saw him, but he saw him enough for him to be accepted as one Wes�
associates. The three men were eating pepperoni, mushroom, and anchovy pizza.
Duo knew that Chris and Fish hated anchovies, but Wes loved them, so they ate
in silence, though Fish grimaced at the taste every now and then.

�� Where were you Friday?� Wes asked Fish, not looking at
him, but switching his attention from Duo to his pizza. Fish glanced at him and
even Duo could see that he was nervous.

�� I was with my girl,� he defended with a strange sort of
pride.

�� I wasn�t aware you had a bitch,� Chris said in between
bites of pizza. He, too, didn�t look at the other man and he didn�t make any
indication that he didn�t like his meal. Fish glared at him, but it seemed weak
and feeble compared to Wes and Chris� powerful forms.

�� Don�t talk about her like that! One of these days, we�ll
make it big and ya won�t see my lily white ass
anymore!� Fish snapped. Duo approached the table nervously, the other man�s
anger not phasing him in the least, but rather, it was
Wes� cold nonchalance that bothered him. He didn�t know if he was allowed to
sit at the table with them or if he should sit on the floor or in his room. He
looked towards Wes, who looked back at him and nodded towards the chair across
from them. Duo sat at the table and nibbled at his sandwich. The men�s work
talk held no interest for him, but he had learned to keep an eye and ear on the
people in this house.

�� Relax, man, don�t get so pissy,�
Chris said with a twisted laugh. Fish rubbed at his bloodshot eyes. Duo looked
at him closely and saw the worry and anxiety on his face.

�� It doesn�t make much of a difference anyway,� Fish said
wearily, �I haven�t seen her since Friday. I called and called. Hell, I even
went by her apartment, but nothing! She�s fucking disappeared. Fucking woman��
Fish shook his head. Duo instantly felt bad for the man. It was obvious that he
cared for his girlfriend a lot and he was torn up about her disappearing. Duo
knew that, in this area of town, if people disappeared, they seldom reappeared.

�� So you didn�t pick up the drugs like I asked you to on
Friday?� Wes asked gruffly, interrupting Fish�s rant. Fish blushed.

�� I�m sorry, Wes, but Sheila really needed me at her house,�
Fish adverted his gaze. Duo bent down to take another bite of his sandwich,
keeping one eye on Fish and Wes, when blood splattered over his face, neck, and
chest. His eyes widened as he saw the neat little hole in Fish�s head and the
back of his head that had blown out due to a hollow point bullet. Fish�s eyes
were flat, unsurprised, the hit had come too quickly for his brain to even
register it. His head rolled and he fell limp on the table, blood dripping
thickly onto the wood table. Duo saw the flash of the gun muzzle as Wes put it
down, flicking the safety back on and tucked it back into his pants, hidden.

�� Never fuck with me,� he growled, taking another bite of
his pizza. He noticed Duo still looking at him and gave him a stern, but not
angry look.

�� Finish your lunch,� he ordered.

�� Duo awoke in a mid thrash, Heero grabbing at him to keep
him from falling off the bed.

�� Duo!� the blue eyed boy cried, holding tight until Duo
stopped moving so violently. Duo panted as he slumped against the bed.

�� Heero�� he murmured. Heero placed a hand on his forehead
and Duo groaned at how good the cold hand felt.

�� You�re burning up,� Heero noted, feeling panic start to
build again, but he bit it down. Duo blinked at him through the darkness. He
suddenly realized that Heero had completely turned off the lights, not just
dimmed them and wished he had the energy to smile at Heero�s thoughtfulness.

�� What did you dream about?� Heero asked as he sat on the
edge of the bed. Duo stared up at the ceiling, heat burning in his body. One
minute he was freezing, then he was hot, then he was freezing again, he
couldn�t keep track. It felt like his body was tearing itself apart and driving
him insane in the meantime.

�� Wes had a drug runner, they called him Fish,� even in his
illness, speaking of his memories came easy to Duo, �he had this girlfriend. He
loved her� a lot. He always said that he was going to make it big and runaway
with her and he tried just that. One Friday, he was supposed to pick up some
drugs for Wes and distribute it the next day, but he never did. He sold the
drugs himself and kept the money himself. When the timing was right, he was
going to get him and his girlfriend out, but the next day, she disappeared. A
few days later, Wes told him to meet him at the apartment. We were all eating
lunch together and Wes shot him. He just� shot him. He knew, somehow, and he
had killed his girlfriend, too. I don�t know why I dreamed about that, but I
did.�

�� Heero stared at him in shock. Duo�s face was beet red and
he was panting a little, but his eyes were dark and distant.

�� You saw a man die?� he asked incredulously. Duo shrugged.

�� I�m tired, Heero,� he murmured.

�� You have a fever, a bad one, I don�t know if you should, there might be something wrong��

�� Heero,� Duo stared at him, �I just want to sleep, ok?�
tears started to slip down his pale cheeks, �I�m so tired.�

�� Duo closed his eyes as he felt hands, heavy and hard and
calloused running over his body. They were so familiar and so real and no
matter how many times he told himself that he was just imagining it, he
couldn�t believe himself. It was real� he could feel it.

�� There�s too many hands,� he
murmured, the tears coming down in torrents. Heero tucked the sheets around him
again, feeling his own tears want to escape.

�� Oh, Duo,� he murmured, �it�s alright,� he stroked Duo�s
bangs, �everything�s going to be fine, I promise. Nothing can touch you when
I�m here, ok?� Heero tried to assure Duo as he cried tiredly into the pillow.
Heero felt a tear escape from his eye and wiped at it furiously, refusing to
show Duo any weakness. When he was alone, he could cry over Duo�s words and the
bone-deep exhaustion in his violet eyes, the surrender he was trying to not succumb
to, even when Heero could see that Duo wanted to, but right now, he needed
Heero to be strong, so he would be. It was frustrating, trying to deal with
Duo�s psychological problems. He knew that there were ways to help him with the
physical pain, but Heero felt so powerless against his personal demons. Reading and doing
research was one thing, but when it was actually happening to someone you cared
about it was so hard. He felt overwhelmed by it and was again struck with the
feeling of being lost. He watched as Duo settled down once more. His words
returned to him. So Wes was a murderer as well as a pedophile, pimp, drug lord,
and rapist. Heero knew he should be shocked, but he wasn�t. From what he had
already known about the man, �killer� didn�t seem too out of his capabilities.
The anger and shock he did feel
wasn�t from the news that Wes had killed a man, but that he had done it in
front of Duo. He wondered how old Duo had been when he had seen it. Heero had
never seen anyone die before. He had been in the waiting room with his mother
when his father had died and she had refused to let him see the body until the
funeral. He wasn�t quite sure what to feel towards the knowledge that Duo had
witnessed a murder, probably at a young age, he was just angry that Wes had
done one more thing to damage him. He wanted to meet Duo�s so-called �father�,
just so he could show him what pain felt like, but he also didn�t want the man
in Duo�s life for another second.

�� It was in those bleak hours in between night and morning
that Duo remembered, after many, many years, how to cry. He cried several times
before, when he was in pain or overwhelmed with shame, but in the end, he had
bottled it back up, unwilling to let the whole flood out, forcing down his
feelings until his body felt like it would tear apart. But, with Heero�s eyes
on him, in the darkness of the room, his fever and shaking, the cold and the
pain eating away at him like a cancer, his memories folding around him like
terrible wings, he let go. He cried and cried and when he finally stopped, it
wasn�t because he had found the will to do so, but because he was too tired and
there were no more tears to shed. It felt like an eternity, like he could cry
forever and there would be no stopping it, but eventually they did stop.

�� Duo didn�t fall back asleep, but he wasn�t really awake,
either. He stared off into space, his dull eyes half lidded. His cheeks were
still red from the fever and he was panting hard, though he was just lying
there on his stomach. Heero watched him and worried. He was beautiful, even
when he was sick, his chestnut hair sticking to his skin with sweat. Heero
brushed his bangs away from his pain pinched face, but Duo didn�t react. Heero
had no idea what was wrong with him and that scared him. What if there was
something seriously wrong? What if he was dying? Heero shook his head, trying
to free himself from such thoughts, but they were stubborn and stuck with him.

�� It still wasn�t morning yet. The night seemed endless,
stuck in this room with the loud heart monitor, Duo�s harsh breathing, and the
darkness. Heero couldn�t remember a time when he had felt more alone. He wanted
to laugh at himself. He was in a hospital for fuck�s sake, surrounded by people
who could help them and he couldn�t seek them out. All he could do was hold duo�s hand and hope that, when the morning finally
came, everything would be alright.

�� Why?� Duo suddenly rasped, shocking Heero out of his
thoughts.

�� What is it, Duo?� Heero asked softly, but his voice was
contorted with worry. Duo�s eyes met his and Heero saw a tiny spark of
awareness in them.

�� I never wanted it,� Duo murmured to him weakly, �even when
he gave me things that made me feel good, I didn�t want it, so why does it hurt
so much, Heero? Why does my body crave it so badly?� Duo closed his eyes
tightly at another tremor and a burst of pain in his skull. Heero realized
that, if Duo had had the strength to do so, he would have been crying again.

�� Withdrawal,� Heero realized, that was what Duo was trying
to tell him. It made sense, the hallucinations, the headaches, the nausea, and
shaking. That was normal, wasn�t it? But, didn�t people sometimes also die from
withdrawal? Heero was sure that he had heard that somewhere.

�� It�s just a physical reaction,� Heero tried to reassure him, �it�ll pass.�

�� Heero felt a dull anger towards Duo�s doctor. He had told
them that Duo wouldn�t feel the worst of his withdrawal because they had drugs
to help him. Obviously, that had been a lie.

�� The pain and deep yearning that his body was producing made
Duo want to keep his eyes firmly closed, but the fear and strange paranoia that
was making his heart race even when he was half asleep as he was now, kept his
eyes open. He had to continuously remind himself that he was safe. It was just
him and Heero in the room and if there was anyone on the planet Duo could
trust, it was Heero, but it wasn�t easy. He felt like there was some dark
sinister presence in the room that wanted to kill him, even though he knew that
that was stupid. His consciousness was floating and murky, he couldn�t get so
much as a pinky hold in reality, but he felt the pain and need acutely. His
body was making him feel like he hadn�t had anything to drink in a very long
time, but he knew that it wasn�t water that his body was hungry for. The need
and yearning and desire were enough to make him want to rip open his veins with
the IV needle imbedded in his arm. Begging was on the tip of his tongue, but he
didn�t want it! The only thing that
kept him from flying off the handle was the very real, very grounding sensation
of Heero�s hand, circled around his. He wanted to sleep again, despite the
oddly vivid nightmares he was having, but he was too scared to keep his eyes
open. Searing pain and freezing cold was filling his spine. He couldn�t rid
himself of the bone-deep child no matter what he did. He was buried under every
blanket the hospital room had to offer, but he was still shivering. Oddly,
Heero�s hand felt like it was on fire and he clutched to it desperately. The fear
that Heero would go back on his word and leave him all alone almost overwhelmed
him. If Heero left him, Duo was sure that he would fall off of the earth at the
very least. Heero was all he had. Heero would make everything better. Heero
would make the thirst go away.

�� Heero placed his free hand on Duo�s forehead and winced,
taking his hand away. His skin was burning hot. Even when his hand strayed a
few inches above the skin, he could feel the heat radiating off of him. How
high could a person�s fever be before they suffered brain damage? He couldn�t
remember. He watched as Duo squirmed on the bed in discomfort, tremors racking
his body, only this time, they didn�t stop right away. Heero froze, his grip
unconsciously squeezing Duo�s hand tighter. Was he having a seizure?

�� Duo grit his teeth as he tried to
force his body to still. He felt the very strong sensation that someone was
watching him, someone that wasn�t Heero. He opened his eyes slowly,
afraid of what he would see.

�� Wes was standing next to Heero, close enough that their
arms would touch if either of them shifted towards the other. Wes stared down
at him, his grey eyes were piercing, cold and
familiar. Duo closed his eyes again. Wes wasn�t really there, he told himself,
he couldn�t be, but a voice inside of his head chimed in that he was there. Whether or not he could see
him, Wes was standing by his bedside and he always would be. He opened his
eyes. Maybe it would be like the singing or dreams and as soon as he opened his
eyes and really looked at the
hallucination, it would disappear.

�� He was still there and the vision didn�t waver. It was too
strong and clear, too perfect and Duo knew that it wouldn�t just vanish like
the others.

�� He�s not really there,� he murmured to himself, �I just
think he is, but he is there,� though
he tried, Duo found that he couldn�t close his eyes as they locked with Wes�.
If he stared hard enough, the hospital room and Heero would disappear, not Wes.
Was he what was real here, and not Heero? It seemed too likely. He felt Heero
squeeze his hand and he looked over at him. Heero�s sudden realness, just as
powerful as Wes�, struck him almost like a physical blow. He wanted to ask
Heero if he could see Wes, too, even though he knew that he couldn�t. Wes was
his demon, his guardian, his father� not Heero�s.

�� Who?� Heero asked. He knew that
Duo was just hallucinating again, but it was real enough for him and Heero
wanted to know what Duo was �seeing�.

�� Wes, he�s standing right there,� Duo said softly, his eyes
shifting to Heero�s left, then moving back to Heero, �can�t you see him?�

�� Heero shook his head.

�� No, Duo, I can�t,� he said sadly, but his voice lacked
pity. Duo searched his friend�s tone for anything patronizing, like that of a
parent assuring a small child that there were no monsters under his bed, but
found it lacking and felt better about his question.

�� I think� I think he isn�t there, but it�s so like him if
he were��

�� What do you mean?� Heero asked. He hoped that by making
Duo talk about it, the apparition would go away. He didn�t like the fact that
Duo�s ill mind was conjuring up hallucinations about his abuser.

�� He liked to watch me. When someone was fucking me, he�d
just stand there and watch or ask for it to be videotaped. When he beat me,
afterwards he�d watch me lie there, bloody and hurting. He just watched. He said that he wanted to see
every side of me, but I think he just liked seeing me vulnerable. Sometimes I�d
wake up in the middle of the night and he�d be sitting there, in the dark,
watching me sleep. He would even go into the bathroom while I was in the
shower. When I was younger, when I first started to live with him, I tried to
lock the doors, but he found a way around them. Then, he just took them out. He
said that whores had no need for locks, had no need for any sort of privacy
because that was their jobs, to show their true selves to whoever would pay
enough,� Duo said. The fever and pain making it somehow easier for the words to
come, �is that my �true self� is?� he murmured, �A slut and a masochist?�

�� Heero clenched his free hand, his nails digging into his
skin. Fury filled to the point that he thought he was going to vomit, but he
only gave Duo�s fingers a small squeeze in reassurance. He couldn�t see how Duo
could believe that, didn�t he know what a kind,
incredible person he was? He tried to imagine his own personal image of Wes,
watching a child Duo and felt his blood boil. Even little kids deserved
privacy, that sort of invasion was just another level of disgusting.

�� No, Duo, that�s not you.�

�� Duo looked at him with such darkness in his eyes that Heero
felt like crying again.

�� Then who am I?� Duo asked, sounding very lost. Heero
smiled.

�� That�s simple; you�re Duo Maxwell, my best friend and I know
things about you that Wes will never know. You like horror movies and
Japanese video games and pasta, but you don�t like comedies or Brussels sprouts
or ankle socks. You prefer root beer to Coke, novels to comic books, and you
like butter instead of cream cheese. You�re smart and kind and patient and a great friend. That�s who you are.�

�� Heero watched as a myriad of emotions showed on Duo�s face.
Fear, pain doubt, shame, shock, love. Duo�s slim fingers squeezed him back.

�� I think I like you�re version of me better,� he said
tiredly. Heero smiled brightly.

�� Is your head feeling any better?� he asked. Duo shook his
head.

�� No, but I think the pain is starting to go down my spine.�

�� Heero blinked, confused for a moment. Was this another
hallucination or was the pain real or, perhaps, a little bit of both? He took
in how pinched Duo�s face was and how he curved his back, as though he were
favoring it. Embarrassingly, Duo�s posture reminded him of when his mother had
her period and how she would angle her back, trying to escape the pain, only
the pain Duo was in seemed much more intense and the younger boy made small
moans and whimpers of agony and frustration as he realized that it wasn�t going
away. The pain wasn�t a hallucination, Heero decided, and it was entirely
possible that the pain in his spine was somehow linked to the pain in his head
and that was the true meaning behind the strange words. Heero�s worry for his
friend grew and grew.

�� Duo, if there is anything I can do to make you feel
better, you have to tell me,� he insisted, searching his friend�s face for some
clue, some solution. He wished that this room had some windows so he could see
if the sun was rising. He didn�t dare look at the clock. He was sure that if it
was earlier instead of later, he would break down again. Duo looked up at him
with eyes watery from pained tears.

�� Just don�t leave me� he murmured.

�� There it was again, those words, that promise; don�t leave
me alone in the dark, don�t abandon me, don�t betray me, don�t let the monsters
get me� The pain in Heero�s chest at the mere thought of leaving him alone in
this room was enough to tear his soul into shreds. Even if Duo slipped into a
coma, he could never leave him anymore than he could tear out his own beating
heart. If he died� but Heero couldn�t bear to think of that possibility, not
now when he was tired and so raw.

�� I won�t leave you,� Heero promised again and felt the
incredible weight of that promise. Duo�s eyelids slid half closed and Heero
watched, slightly bewildered, as Duo attempted to rub
his arms against the bed, but his muscles were too weak and weary to manage it.

�� What�s wrong?� Heero asked with a heavy heart. He wasn�t
sure how much more he could take, if there was anything else wrong.

�� It�s the spiders, they make my muscles itch,� Duo explained,
as if it was the most logical thing on the planet.

�� The spiders?� Heero asked
incredulously.

�� Mm hmm,� Duo murmured in a drained tone,� the ones under
my skin. They won�t stop moving, no matter how hard I scratch at them.�

�� Heero�s first impulse at Duo�s words was to assure him that
there were no spiders, no Wes, no singing, but he was beginning to realize that
within every illusion, every dream, there was a grain of truth, a grain of
fear. Duo was afraid of being alone and his mind had produced singing to show
him that there was someone there. Who knew, maybe his mind recalled, at some
base level, his mother singing to him and his subconscious had replayed it?
That similar act of recalling memory had been responsible for Duo seeing Wes.
He had admitted that it had been common for the man to watch him when he was
vulnerable, which he was now, so sick he couldn�t even walk. His back hurt and
his feverish mind had tried that pain to his headaches, making Duo believe that
the pain was actually moving through his body like a sentient thing. It was the
same now, his skin was itchy, probably another symptom of his withdrawal and he
couldn�t get it to stop. Heero knew from one of their late-night sleep over
talks, Duo had an irrational fear of spiders. He had always laughed at himself
when he admitted it, but Heero knew that the fear was very real. Duo had,
shakily, told him of why, and Heero didn�t blame him. Duo didn�t hate spiders, he loved all animals and
thought that spiders, with their complex webs, were pretty cool, but they creeped him out and he distrusted them. When he was little,
he had heard it from others, which Heero now took to mean �fellow homeless�,
that food contained insect eggs and if said food was eaten, the creepy crawlies
would hatch inside of the person and dig their way out of that person�s skin.
For example, if one ate spoiled Mexican food, in a mere few days, you would
have baby cockroaches living under you skin, chasing and thrashing towards
freedom. The same was true if you got bitten by a bug, because that was how
they laid their eggs, in a person�s flesh. So, Duo had tried very hard to stay
away from food that had gone bad, the thought of baby bugs inside of him was
unsettling. But, one day he had been bitten on the hand by a big, furry spider.
Duo would learn, years later, from one of the books he had learned to read,
that the offending arachnid was called a �wolf spider.� A few days after being
bitten, one of his fingers had started to swell up and it had become quite
painful, the bite marks leaking clear fluid. He had thought for sure that his
finger was swollen because there were thousands of little spiders inside and
soon they would burst forth and crawl all over him. Duo had told Heero that he
knew now that he had just had an allergic reaction to the bite, but the memory
of fear and disgust had stayed with him. So now, when he had felt his arms
itching and looked at them and seen hundreds of tiny black bumps under the pale
skin, moving around and crawling, he
had had the intense urge to find something sharp, slice open his skin, and dig
the little bastards out. In fact, he was sure that squashing each one of them
would feel really, really good, but he was too weak to even scratch and he knew
that Heero wouldn�t let him hurt himself like that.

�� Heero could see the fear in Duo�s eyes as he tried to
scratch and knew that that was the true reason for the hallucination, just like
the nightmares and seeing Wes. He also knew that mere words wouldn�t make it go
away and simply telling Duo that it wasn�t there would separate them in a time
when Duo really needed him. The last thing he wanted was for duo to think that
Heero thought he was crazy. So, instead of telling him that he was just seeing
things, Heero gently scratched at Duo�s arm with one hand. Duo moaned happily
as Heero�s nails softly scratched his skin. Heero�s other hand traveled to the
gap in the back of Duo�s hospital gown and massaged the muscles along his
spine, his fingers feeling each vertebrae and he was glad to find that they
weren�t as prominent as the first time he had seen them. Duo was still too
skinny to Heero, but he was gaining some weight thanks to regular meals and the
fluids he was getting from his IV. Duo�s eyes slid closed in pleasure as
Heero�s fingers rubbed at sore and painful muscles.

�� That feels nice,� he murmured and Heero smiled. When was
the last time his moans had been from pleasure instead of pain? He couldn�t
remember. He found himself blushing at the thought, though. He wondered if that
was the same moan he made during se� Heero bit off that thought quickly because
it also brought forth the question if Duo had ever enjoyed sex in his short life and that was question he didn�t
want to know the answer to.

�� Your hands are so warm,� Duo said, �I like it.�

�� Heero felt his face flame further.

�� It�s so cold,� the longhaired boy murmured, looking away
from Heero, �there�s ice on my spine, I can feel it. It won�t go away, won�t
melt, it�s chipping away at the bone, makes it hurt like a hundred needles,
like something sharp is wrapping itself around my spine. I feel so heavy� my
blood is heavy, I think, but at the same time, it�s so hot, I�m melting away
drop by drop. Soon, there�ll be nothing left. But� I
think if I hold onto you, I can save a part of me�� Duo�s voice started to fade
and his eyes closed again. Heero kept his hand on Duo�s back, feeling his rapid
pulse. His words sounded crazy, but Heero could hear the truth in it and felt
scared. He didn�t know how to deal with Duo when he was like this, didn�t know
how to make things better. Duo�s words left him feeling humbled, knowing how
much Duo was relying on him. Heero felt Duo�s pulse start to slow and become
more even as he fell asleep. Heero was glad and hoped that his sleep wouldn�t
be interrupted by bad dreams and maybe the weariness and dark circles would
disappear. Heero wasn�t so optimistic to think that Duo would be all better
when he woke up, but there was still that small hope.

�� There�s ice on my
spine,� Duo�s words came to Heero and a spark of curiosity wormed its way
through his worry and fear. He abandoned Duo�s back to push his hair away fro
his neck and bit his lip hard, stifling a gasp as he was afraid that even the
smallest noise might awake him from his nap.

�� Duo�s neck looked like something he had seen once in a
horror movie about vampires when he was a kid. His neck was pale and thin, the
vertebrae standing out worse than in his back. The difference that Heero could
see that separated the movie from Duo�s wound was that there was only one
puncture, not two. The track mark was deep and terrible looking, situated over
one of the vertebrae. It had scarred over, but it looked like it must have
caused Duo a great deal of agony when it had been made. Heero swore inside of
his head. This was why Duo�s spine hurt and he couldn�t help but feel pissed
off at Stark for not so much as mentioning it. He rubbed the back of Duo�s neck
and smiled softly as Duo made another small, happy moan.

�� Eventually, the sun did rise in the morning, but Heero didn�t
sleep again. He dimly realized that he had spent most of the night awake
watching Duo as though he was a landmine, ready to explode at any minute. He
felt tired and stretched too thin, but he felt a sort of triumph that Duo
hadn�t stirred. Even now, at the ripe time of seven thirty a.m. Duo was deeply
asleep, still lying in the same position on his stomach as Heero watched over
his sleep. Heero�s tired mind supplied him with the image of himself as a
German Sheppard, overly protective and loyal and ready to tear the throat out
of anyone who tried to hurt his charge. He found that he didn�t mind seeing
himself that way.

�� Heero jumped as he heard a knock on the door. His heart
leapt. Help at last! But, it wasn�t Stark since the man was the most punctual person
Heero had ever met and he always came
at nine, and Heero couldn�t figure out� he blinked and sat up sharply,
remembering.

�� Come in!� he called, unable to keep the happiness out of
his voice.

�� Name seemed just as happy to see him. It appeared as though
she had just come from a business meeting because she was wearing a classy blue
suit and was carrying a briefcase in one hand.

�� Good morning!� she said in an awake, chipper tone that was
both refreshing and annoying. Heero wished that he had the energy to muster
that kind of energy. In Name�s other hand was a bouquet of sunflowers, white
Asian lilies, and Iris�. When Duo had finally gotten out of surgery and woken
up, she had brought him red tulips. She had been afraid that he would think
that they were too girly, because that�s what Heero would think, but Duo had
been excited about the flowers. It was such a simple thing, but Duo had told
her that no one had given him flowers before and he only seen them as weeds on
grassy hills or in gardens behind white, picket gates or in shops that he could
never go in and he had never touched a tulip before and had marveled at how
soft if felt and how bright the red color was on the living plant. It had awed
him, the simple flowers, and his excitement and incredible gratitude had torn
at Name�s sense of just. So, every
day she had visited him, she had brought a new bouquet, with different flowers.
Name placed her briefcase leaning against the bedside table
and replace the orange and red roses with the new bouquet in the crystal
vase. With her self-appointed task completed, she finally took a good look at
her son and frowned.

�� Heero, you look terrible! You didn�t stay up late again,
did you?� she scolded.

�� No, I didn�t sleep,�
he said gruffly. Name�s eyes widened slightly.

�� And why is that?� she asked sternly.

�� Duo is sick and I was too worried to sleep,� he explained.
Name�s black eyes darted to Duo and she knelt by his bed, pressing her hand
against Duo�s flushed forehead. She hissed sharply and narrowed her eyes at
Heero.

�� He�s burning up!� she snapped. Duo made a small,
unconscious sound of discomfort and Name watched in half alarm, half amusement
as Heero froze, completely attuned to Duo�s every move, every breath, but he
relaxed when Duo didn�t stir further. She took in Duo�s muscles, tight and
pained even in sleep, the pallor of his skin, and the dark circles under his
eyes.

�� Does Dr. Stark know about this?� she asked. Heero shook
his head.

�� Heero, this is serious!� she yelled, secretly worried
about Duo not waking at her voice, �The second you even thought that there was something wrong, you should have gotten
him!�

�� I couldn�t!� Heero shot back, �Duo was terrified, I couldn�t leave him all alone! I promised that I wouldn�t.�

�� Fine,� Name said stiffly, �but what about the call
button?�

�� Heero blinked at her in confusion. She sighed and pointed
to the remote at the bedside table that had a single, glaring red button.

�� The call button, Heero. If Duo
was sick and you couldn�t leave the room, you should have called for a nurse.�

�� Heero stared at her in shock, feeling like the biggest
idiot in the world. All those hours of fear and worrying and he could have just
called for someone! Worse than that,
he had just let Duo be in pain!

�� Name sighed and pulled up one of the other two chairs to
sit next to Heero.

�� I am now caught between admitting that your blind concern
for this boy is quite adorable and screaming at you for being such a needless
idiot,� Name said affectionately. Heero ran a hand through his messy hair.

�� I�m sorry,� he murmured, feeling oddly numb. He knew
logically that the numbness was simply because of how tired he was, but he
didn�t welcome the feeling. Name patted his arm.��

�� It�ll be fine. He doesn�t look like he�s dying and Stark
will be here in a few hours.�

�� Heero knew that his mother was right. He had been feeling
as though Duo was mortally wounded but, after all he had been through, it
seemed unlikely that he would die from this. Besides, what was a few hours
compared to the entire night he had just gone through?

�� Now, start from the beginning, tell me everything,� Name
insisted. Heero nodded.

�� I think it started with the headaches��

�� If there was one thing that Thomas Stark believed in, it
was professionalism. After all, without rules and control, there would only be
chaos, and he was proud that, as a doctor, he could somehow contribute to the
order. He was punctual to the second and did his job without any hesitation. He
was diligent and had no patience for those that preferred the easy way out of
things, whether it was those under his care that didn�t want to finish their
physical therapy because it was �too hard� or orderlies and interns that
thought that it was acceptable to cut corners. Stark understood that a hospital
was like a complicated piece of machinery, unless all of the parts worked
perfectly, it would just buckle under its own weight. Because of this, the one
thing, above all else, that he couldn�t stand, were people who broke the rules.
So, while most of the hospital both feared and respected the Yuy�s for all that
they had done for Duo Maxwell, Stark simply hated them. Ever since they had
brought the boy to the hospital, they had been a thorn in his side, breaking
rule after rule. Because of Duo�s age, only his parents were allowed to have a
say in his medical care and visit him, yet Name Yuy seemed to think that child
was hers in that regard. Her son was just as bad, breaking the rules of
visiting hours to the extent that he was living
in Duo�s room! Stark couldn�t stand that sort of smugness, the thinking
that, because they were rich, they could do whatever they pleased. He didn�t
care how �noble� their reasons were, rules were rules and they exited for a
reason.

�� But, then there was Duo. He had expected that the boy would
be equally smug, knowing what lengths the Yuy�s would go to see to his comfort,
but he had been a pleasant surprise. Duo Maxwell was an enigma, and Stark loved
a good enigma; no records to speak of, supposedly no parents, and the worst
case of abuse Stark had see in a long time. He was quiet and obedient, but from
what he had seen, he was also very bright and determined to do whatever hard
work he had to, to get better. He reminded Stark of a well trained dog, a far
cry from the spoiled, disobedient teenager he had expecting. He wished that he
could say the same about all of his patients.

��

�� Stark arrived at Duo�s room promptly at nine sharp for his
daily exam, just like he always did, only this time, he had two heated glares
focusing on him.

�� He�s sick,� Name started in on him with a fury that only a
mother could possess, �you said that the medicine would help him, but now he�s
worse than ever!� she snarled. The doctor had to freeze confused for a moment
with what he was being accused of, but once his eyes fell on Duo�s sleeping,
feverish form, he understood.

�� What are his symptoms?� he asked. Heero, not giving Name
the chance to start yelling again.

�� Fever, chills, vivid hallucinations, shaking, nausea,
headaches, and pain and chill along his spine,� Heero said, all too happy to
have some way to help.

�� I thought so,� Stark murmured.

�� What do you mean �you thought so�?!� Name snapped. Heero
glanced at her. His mother was usually so stoic and composed, he hardly ever
saw her this wound up, but he could understand, Duo
had that affect on people. Stark stared her down.

�� There are marks on the back of his neck,� Heero
interrupted, �not his arms. Why?�

�� Stark decided to focus on the son instead of the mother. At
the moment, he seemed the most likely out of the two of them to listen to
reason. He took the last remaining chair and sat in front of them, glancing at
Name.

�� The medicine I gave duo is to help with the withdrawals
from high-grade addiction such as cocaine and heroine. It has been highly effective
in those cases, however, we know very little about the
drug that Duo was given. We�ve had a lot of trouble finding drugs to help with
the withdrawal because we know so little.�

�� Name calmed down a little, but she still fumed a little.
The sight of Duo�s strained form and her new knowledge of what the previous
night had been like for him and Heero made the anger come easier for her.

�� What do you know about it?� she asked. Stark folded his
hands in his lap.

�� It�s called �KL6�. It�s a very popular street drug. It
attacks certain neurological centers, temporarily disabling them, which makes
�free will� an impossibility. Of course, the human
survival instinct still remains but the individual is highly susceptible to
demands that don�t put their lives in danger. The drug is typically injected
into the spinal cord, which makes it more painful than injecting it into the
blood stream, but it makes the drug reach the brain faster. Even with only a
single use, the withdrawal symptoms are vicious. Because the drug primarily
attacks the brain, the withdrawal symptoms can be so severe that the brain will
shut down and the individual will die. Fortunately, whoever gave the drug to
Duo was a professional which, I believe, is one of the few reasons he is still
alive after such a long exposure. KL6 is only meant to be taken for a few
hours, not a few weeks. It�s amazing he didn�t suffer permanent damage! The medicine
I gave him isn�t affective right now because he�s at the worst of the
withdrawal, but without it, he would be feeling them for several days instead
of only one,� Stark explained. He decided not to tell them about the only other
people they had found that had been injected with KL6; that they had all been
either whores or rape victims, and the reason why they knew so little about the
drug was that most of those people had died fairly quickly.

�� Name furrowed her brow at the information.

�� Why on earth would anyone want to inject themselves with
something like that? What purpose does that sort of thing serve?� she asked,
confused.

�� Don�t you get it?� Heero growled,
his fists clenched so tightly, his hands were bleeding.

�� It�s so they can take away free will and self control. You
can�t say its rape if you don�t have the will to say no,� his furious blue eyes
looked down at Duo with a mix of rage and love.

�� They shot him up with that shit, they took away all of his
control. They took away his ability to say no. It creates perfect slaves. They
can�t fight back, they can only do what they�re told.
They raped him and called it �consensual�!� Heero was almost screaming, but his
hands were gentle as he uncurled them, taking Duo�s in one and brushing his
bangs out of his face with the other. He wanted to throw up as he realized the
truth. He never wanted to let go of Duo�s hand. He would protect him, no matter
what, he would save him until his last breath.

�� You must have been so scared,� Heero murmured to his
sleeping friend.

�� Name wanted more than anything to take her child into her
arms and cradle him, protect him from the truth, and tell him that everything
was going to be alright, but he saw the anger and the love in his eyes and
didn�t dare separate them. She felt the same fury and love in herself as she
looked at Duo and felt the truth of Heero�s words. She wanted to find the men
responsible for hurting the kind child that she knew and show them what real
fear felt like. But, what Heero had said troubled her. Her son, her baby, had
seen the truth where she had not, what she had refused to see. Before meeting Duo, before he had learned the ugly
truth for himself, he never would have figured it out. How long would they have
to look into Duo�s darkness before their small family was changed forever? She
wanted, at that moment, to blame Duo for trying to change them, for showing her
son how horrible the world really was, but she couldn�t manage it. When she
looked at Duo, she could see the poor, loving, suffering child that he was and
her desire to protect him was even stronger than her desire to shelter her own
son. She knew that she couldn�t keep him in the dark his entire life and she
didn�t have the right to keep him blind, no parent did, but it still made her
sad.

�� Will he survive this?� she asked the doctor. ��

�� Stark ran a hand through his thick hair.

�� Like I said, whoever injected him was a professional. He
didn�t overdose and he has healed enough that I think he can fight through it.
It seems very unlikely that he would die from this. The withdrawal will last
for about a month, though he�ll probably get headaches periodically for three
months. This drug has a cresting withdrawal pattern. The symptoms get worse and
worse until they reach their height, and then, little by little, edge off. In
my professional opinion, I think that Duo is now experiencing the worst stage
of this. The drugs have helped him previously, but for this stage, they aren�t
working anymore.�

�� Heero felt a mix of relief and pain at this. Duo was in
terrible pain, but it wouldn�t be forever and it wasn�t unusual, either.

�� How long will it last?� he asked.

�� The worst of it should e over in twenty-four hours,
thirty-two at the very most. He seems to be doing better than most at this
stage, so I�m confident that he�ll be fine,� Stark patted Heero�s arm and
stood.

�� Just be patient and you�ll see,
all of this will pass.�

�� Heero couldn�t help but be annoyed at Dr. Stark�s words. He
didn�t want to be patient, he wanted Duo to be better
right now. He caressed the smooth
skin of Duo�s hand with his fingertips. He wanted someone to tell him that he
had no reason to worry about anything, that he was just being silly, but all he
was getting from people were maybes. He didn�t know how much heartache he could
take or how much more pain Duo could take before his body broke. It was scary,
watching Duo sleep fitfully in his agony and know that
there was nothing he could do to make the pain go away. But, all he could do,
realistically, was sit and wait and hope.

��

�� In the end, Dr. Stark�s prediction of Duo turned out to be
true. The rest of the day, he tossed and turned in terrible pain, mumbling
things that Heero only half-understood, but by nighttime his fever spiked, and
by afternoon the next day, most of the pain had disappeared, leaving Duo weak
and shaky, but mostly unharmed. Heero was relieved, but realized that Duo was
uncomfortable talking about what he had felt and witnessed during his fever, so
Heero kept his questions and relief to himself. Duo spent the rest of the day
trying to see what his body was capable within the confines of the bed. He still
felt weak, but his back muscles were slowly getting better, even while his body
was dealing with its addiction. To his delight, he found that he could now
twist his back fully both ways and, when he moved his arms and legs, it didn�t
hurt as much. Still, even with his progress, the thought of getting out of bed
was daunting to him in his weakened state.

�� 8:53 a.m. found Heero and Duo waiting for Dr. Stark. Name
had left last night, kissing Duo on the forehead and assuring him that she
would be back by ten a.m. to help him with his physical therapy. For one, both
Heero and duo had slept long and hard with no dreams. Heero could tell just by
looking at Duo that, though he was still scared about his withdrawal, he was
feeling much better, stronger and nearly healthy, though he was still pretty
weak. While Duo had been in physical therapy last afternoon, Heero had finally
left the hospital for the first time since he had first brought Duo in. The sun
had been shining brightly and he had walked to the eyeglass store to order
Duo�s glasses. While Duo was going through his check-up with Dr. Stark, he was
going to go pick them up. He was sure that they would make Duo feel better. He
knew how much Duo hated his poor vision. He couldn�t begin to imagine how scary
it was for him, being unable to see clearly in a strange place, too weak to
defend himself. Heero was just glad that he could do
something for his friend to make him feel safe.

�� Just as always, at 9 a.m. sharp, Dr. Stark waltzed into the
room for Duo�s daily check-up and the longhaired boy�s eyes darkened at the
sight of him. Heero knew that Duo hated these check ups. Hell, if he had gone
through what Duo had, he wouldn�t want some strange man touching him, either,
but it was a necessary evil.

�� Good morning, Mr. Maxwell, Mr. Yuy,� Stark said in a
chipper voice.

�� Morning, Doctor,� Heero greeted. He wasn�t allowed in the
room while the doctor was examining Duo. Stark had insisted that Duo had asked
him not to be there and, while Heero understood that Duo wouldn�t want him to
see him naked, it still made him a little sad. He wondered if Duo even knew
what he wanted, because whenever he started to leave, Duo�s eyes would be
silently pleading him to stay, but in the end, Heero always let the doctor
usher him out. Now was no different. They entered into the usual pre-exam
ritual. Stark looked impatient for Heero to leave. Heero kissed Duo�s forehead,
watching with pleasure as Duo�s eyes became half-lidded at the kiss, just as
always.

�� I�ll be back in a half an hour,� he promised, just as
always. Duo looked at him, begging him to stay, but Heero left, just as always.

�� Stark closed the door behind him and approached Duo.

�� How are you feeling today?� he asked. Duo wrapped his arms
around his knees, hating how the hospital gown gave him nearly no modesty. He
hated these examinations. They were embarrassing and, he felt, unnecessary. His
body was either going to heal or it wasn�t, without the doctor�s help.

�� My back feels better, but I�m still a little bit shaky,�
Duo admitted. Stark smiled at this.

�� I�m glad to hear that. Now, let�s see how your other
injuries are doing.�

�� Duo sat perfectly still, like a trapped animal, as the
doctor examined the fading bruises on his arms, legs, neck, and collarbone. He
couldn�t help but flinch as the doctor probed the bruises around his neck with
his cold fingers.

�� Have you ever experienced memory loss?� Stark asked,
focusing on his neck. Duo nodded.

�� Sometimes, but what does that have to do with anything?�

�� The doctor hummed low in his throat.

�� Were you ever strangled?� the man�s voice tilted in a tone
of strange eagerness.

�� Yes.�

�� Stark ran his tongue over his bottom lip, but didn�t say
anything further about it. Duo hissed as the doctor pressed his hand against his
ribs.

�� Does that hurt?�

�� It only aches a little,� Duo said.

�� Good,� Stark said with a small nod, �your ribs seem to be
healing nicely. It�s normal for the flesh around them to be tender after a
break.�

�� Stark pushed the neck of the gown aside and pressed his
fingers against the healing bite on Duo�s shoulder that had started to scar.
Duo struggled to control his breathing. He couldn�t stand this close proximity,
the curious fingers brushing over his skin, it was too
close to his memories. Stark didn�t seem to notice Duo�s quickening breath or
heart rate and if he did, he didn�t comment on it.

�� The infection has cleared up nicely,� Stark noted and drew
Duo�s gown away from his side, pressing his hand against the incision where his
spleen had been removed.

�� Ah!� Duo cried out as his side started to throb.

�� How much does it hurt?� the doctor asked him.

�� Only a little.�

�� This seems to be healing well, too. You said that you�re
back is better, so I don�t see any reason why you can�t try to walk tomorrow.�

�� Despite his fear of the doctor�s touch, Duo felt relieved
at the news. If he could just walk, then he could get out of here and away from
this place.

�� Roll onto your stomach, please,� Stark said.

�� On your stomach, I
don�t need to see your fucking face.�

�� Duo paled at the command and the phantom voice, but did
what he was told. It was too deep inside of him, the training to always do what
he was told. He felt the doctor�s large hands caress his back and he flinched
harshly, but Stark ignored him. Duo bit his lip in discomfort as the doctor
pressed against the knot of muscles on his lower back where he had been struck
so long ago.

�� Everything looks good,� Stark said, �the swelling has gone
down and your burns and infections have healed,� he let Duo roll onto his back
again.

�� Now, spread your legs.�

�� Be a good little
whore and spread them wider.�

�� Duo felt bile rise in his throat.

�� I don�t want to,� he whispered, unable to voice his
protests any louder, but his words sounded so weak. Stark snorted.

�� Don�t be ridiculous, you know I have to check everywhere.�

�� Duo squeezed his eyes shut. He hated him, he should have
known. All men were the same. Well� not all of them�

�� Stark pressed his hands against Duo�s upper thighs,
stroking the fair skin there. Duo felt the strong urge to either sob or vomit, he couldn�t decide which, so he stayed silent
instead. It was always the same. Every day he stayed silent as he was touched
in this way. He told himself that it was ok, it wasn�t like the doctor was fucking
him and he was a doctor, so he had to touch him anyway and no one would care if
it made him feel sick, but it still made him want to scream. The man�s fingers
were light as he stroked his legs, but they made his stomach feel heavy, as
though he had swallowed lead. It was Wes all over again, too scared and ashamed
to cry out for help, too weak to fight, just taking it in silence. He knew that
he shouldn�t, that he should tell Heero or Name, but something stopped him
every time.

�� I love boys like you,� Stark mused, marveling at how soft
Duo�s skin was, �don�t get me wrong, I�m not a fag, but girls nowadays cry so
easily, but boys like you know how to keep a secret. After all, you�d been
abused for years and only now did you say anything about it!� his hands started
to creep lower on Duo�s thighs, towards his crotch.

�� I�m not a bad person, Duo,� Thomas insisted, �I just have
urges, like all men, but I have to deal with mind in order to do my job well.
You understand, of course, I�m sure that your father was the same way.� His
hands continued to travel downward until they met with the bottom of Duo�s gown
and he pushed it up to his stomach, his thorough fingers returning to Duo�s
exposed thighs.

�� What I don�t understand is why those people are interested
in a poor, scrawny, little kid like you,� Stark continued, �They were so
worried about you, you�d think you were one of the family.�

�� Duo shuddered as Stark leaned in and looked him in the eye.

�� You were pretty bad off, I was almost positive you were
going to die. There was nothing left of you but bones and skin and you were
shaking like a drowned rat, but the worst was the internal bleeding and shock.
Your rectum was filled with blood and your side was such a mess, I was sure
that you would never survive the surgery. You stopped breathing twice when we
were cutting into you, but you pulled through. How, I will never know, but I�m
glad you did. I�ve never been good at giving crying women bad news, especially that woman.�

�� Name was crying? I almost died?� Duo thought, bewildered.
It was hard to imagine such a strong, sure woman like Name Yuy crying over
someone like him. The fact that he had almost died didn�t hit him like it
should have. He didn�t remember a lot about that night. By the time Heero had
gotten him into the car, he had been too far gone to recall much. What he
remembered the most was pain so horrible he wanted to rip his flesh out. He had
had the sensation of movement and had heard a voice that sounded suspiciously
like Heero�s crying and talking to him, begging him to stay awake, to not die
on him. Then, there had been this awful bright light, which he now assumed was
the inside of the hospital. There had been the sound of solemn voices, people
touching him, the feeling of needles in his arms and frantic goings on around
him, but he was in too much pain to even open his eyes and he couldn�t recall
anything after that. He had never really thought about it, his obvious survival
had told him enough.

�� I know that you were raped,� Stark�s words cut through him
and he paled. He knew that Stark knew about the abuse, it was hard not to
figure out with his injuries and Name�s insistence that his father not be
allowed to see him, and he knew that it was childish to hope that no one knew
about the sex, but that was also pretty obvious. Still, it was embarrassing
enough having his friends know about it, let alone strangers. He wondered if
the whole hospital was gossiping about him or if Dr. Stark had wisely kept it
to himself. Wasn�t that what doctors were supposed to do? Protect their
patients� privacy? But then, he was sure that doctors weren�t supposed to feel
up their patients, either.

�� Was it Heero that did it? With the amount of damage to
your anus and rectum, he must be pretty well hung! I�m a little jealous,� Stark
continued, but the words washed over Duo, his attention solely focused on the
doctor�s fingers traveling up his body.

�� I wonder, does he expect to keep
you like some pet cat?�

�� Duo fought against
his newest john as he buckled a tight, black, leather dog collar around his
neck.

�� Stop
squirming!� the blonde man yelled at the child, tugging at his hair. Duo
immediately stayed still at the sharp pain through his scalp. He wanted to rip
the offending collar off, with its heavy silver chain wrapped around the
blonde�s hand, it was tight on his neck and it terrified the nine year old, but
he stayed still, powerless to do anything but what the man told him. The john
stroked his hair and pressed his hard cock against his cheek.

�� Be a good little kitty and I�ll give you some nice, rich
milk.�

�� Duo
licked at the head of the organ with small swipes of his tongue, slowly working
it into his mouth.

�� Good
kitty, good little pet,� the man crooned, wrapping more of the chain around his
fist until the collar tugged at Duo�s thin neck, forcing him forward and he
thrust fully down his throat. In the past, he would have choked at the move,
but after two years, he knew better and simply wrapped his tongue around the
length, wetting it to make it easier. The man groaned and panted as the boy
sucked on him, his tongue caressing him with surprising grace. He drew out of
the moist cavern, only to thrust back in, grabbing at the child�s hair, fucking
his mouth.

�� Duo
didn�t flinch as the blonde pulled out suddenly and hot, thick cum splattered
on his face and hair.

�� Shit,�
the man panted as he started to regain his composure.

�� What
are you waiting for?� he snapped, �clean it up! No, you
stupid animal, with your tongue!�

�� �Pay attention!� Stark�s harsh voice and sudden grip
on his spread thighs brought Duo out of his memory only to throw him into
another.

�� Pay attention!� Wes
snarled, slapping Duo across the face as the child tried to wrap a blanket
around his nude body as he shivered on the cold floor of his bedroom.

�� No!�
he cried, �please, leave me alone!� he begged.

�� It had
been two weeks since Wes had picked Duo off of the street and had started to
teach him how to be a proper whore. Now, the man wanted him to practice on some
of his �friends�, and he just couldn�t do it. He wanted to wrap the blanket as
tightly around himself as he could and disappear from the world. It was
strange, when he was living on the streets, he had been invisible to the world
and he wanted nothing more than to have that invisibility back now.

�� Wes
grabbed his arm, hauled him to his feet, and ripped the blanket from him.

�� No!�
Duo cried, trying to get the blanket back and Wes
shook him roughly.

�� You
still don�t get it, do you?� he snapped, �Whore�s don�t need clothes! Now stop
fucking around and do your job!� Wes dragged him out of the bedroom and into
the kitchen where half a dozen men around Wes� age, including Chris, were lounging. Their eyes focused on him and he blushed
deeply. He couldn�t take it, their eyes roaming over his naked body like he was
a choice cut of beef. Wes shoved him forward and he hastily covered his crotch
with his hands, wishing there was something to hide behind. He had never felt
uglier in his life, bare in front of so many men, his hair loose and brushing
against his back. With a growl, Wes placed a hand on Duo�s shoulder and
squeezed in warning. Shaking, Duo let his arms fall to his sides, exposing him
completely. His face felt like it was on fire and he wanted to throw up. His
skin crawled with the constant staring and it was only because of the men�s
silence and Wes� painful grip on his shoulder that kept him from trying to run.

�� Now, slut, why don�t you tell these nice gentlemen what you really
are?� Wes jeered.

�� Duo�s
shaking intensified, but any protests died in his throat at that harsh,
squeezing hand.

�� I-I am
a whore,� Duo stammered, his voice as shaky as his body, �I am a slut. I am not
a person. I am nothing more than a hole for men to fuck,� he fell into silence,
feeling his words cling to his skin. They had been hard to say and he was
panting with the exertion of forcing them out, but they rang in his head.

�� Again,�
Wes ordered.

�� No,�
Duo whimpered, but with another harsh squeeze of Wes� hand, he found the words
spilling out.

�� I am a
whore. I am a slut. I am not a person. I am nothing more than a hole for men to
fuck,� Duo�s voice started to become more steady as he repeated the words,
despite the tears that were tracking down his cheeks, his eyes starting to look
dead and flat.

�� Again.�

�� Duo was awoken from the sickening memory by the
absence of the doctor�s hands on his skin. He blinked in the bright lights and
saw Stark putting on latex gloves.

�� No,� he murmured. Stark frowned at him.

�� Don�t be stupid. It�s my job as a doctor to make sure that
you�re completely healthy.�

�� Duo tensed as the man approached him again.

�� Is it also your job to molest your patients, Doctor?� Duo
thought bitterly. Even if he had taken everything in silence in the past, Duo
felt that he should try to reason with the man, or at the very least, get him
to admit his true intentions. Saying things like it was just his job or that
Duo was being bashful made Duo feel that he was just overreacting, even when he
knew that what the doctor was doing was wrong.

�� But I�m fine! I�m eating solid food and it doesn�t hurt
down there anymore! Besides, you said yesterday that everything looked fine,�
Duo protested.

�� It never hurts to be thorough, now does it, Duo? This is
your health we�re talking about, besides, don�t you
think that Mrs. Yuy would be upset if I didn�t do my best for you? Now, spread
your legs,� Stark said, putting a hand on his knee. Duo lay back against the
pillow, spread his legs, and closed his eyes. He winced as the doctor spread
his buttocks and slipped a finger inside of him. The gloves were lubricated, so
it didn�t really hurt, but his past experiences painted the phantom pain well
enough that it might as well have. He squeezed his eyes shut tightly. He told
himself that it was just a normal examination, but the finger went too deep,
caressed too much, stayed inside for too long, and he couldn�t believe the lie.

�� I have
a job for you to do, but it�s your choice.�

�� It�ll
only hurt for a second.�

�� I�m
sure you�ll figure it out.�

�� I�ll
give you shelter and plenty of food if you do what you�re told. You�ll also
make a lot of money.�

�� Here�s
a sandwich. I hope you like it, I�m not much of a cook, my specialty is take out.�

�� Phantom, harsh laughter.

�� Even
girls bleed their first time.�

�� Wes� words were so loud and strong it was like he was
in the room with them. It was never going to stop, he suddenly realized. He
would never escape from Wes, even if he killed him, which was laughable. The
man and everything he had done and taught him was in his blood now. It was all his fault, this proved it. Even when he was away from
the man, the same thing happened over and over again. He could fight as much as
he wanted, but it wasn�t going to make a difference. This was his fate, he
could see that now. All men were the same, he knew
that deep down in his soul. They took and they took, not carrying about anyone
but themselves. They were dirty, but he was the worst one of the bunch, because
he had actually conned himself into believing that things could change. It
would never stop and he was so tired of all of it�

��

��
Was it Heero that did it?�

�� No, that wasn�t right� Heero wasn�t like them, he was
different! When Heero�s kind, blue eyes looked at him,
he didn�t feel dirty, when he was with Heero, he felt� good. The world wasn�t
just filled with johns and whores, hadn�t Heero shown him that? He had helped
him, cared for him, for nothing in return. That wasn�t how his world worked. He
had turned everything inside out and Duo wasn�t sure what to believe anymore.
He wanted things now that he had never even thought of before. Those things had
always belonged to someone else, someone better, or so he had thought, but for
the first time in his life, he actually had
better. He didn�t deserve it, but it was there, anyway. Intense fury filled
him at the doctor�s words. He might be shit compared to Stark, but the man was
nothing compared to Heero! He had no right to say those things.

�� Stark ran his tongue over his back teeth as he pushed his
middle finger deeper into Duo�s body. He could feel the boy�s heat and softness
even through the glove. It felt different than a girl�s vagina, but no loess
pleasant. He looked at Duo�s face and felt annoyed that the pretty boy wasn�t
paying attention to him again. He wasn�t used to that. Usually, his patients�
attention was solely on him, but this boy was different.

�� He had dealt with kids and their sickening disrespect for
adults his entire career as a doctor. They thought that they could say or do
whatever they liked without consequence. Even when he was trying to help them,
they always believed that they knew better than him, were better. It was so powerful, knowing that he could send brats
like those to their knees where their parents and teachers couldn�t. He didn�t
rape the, of course, he was a doctor and he had more class than that, he just
enjoyed their bodies with his hands and showed them how small and unimportant
they were.

�� He had started with girls. Like he had told Duo, he wasn�t
gay and he preferred girls. They were softer, sweeter, and the way they smelled
turned him on greatly. However, they were also weak and prone to crying and
begging, something he couldn�t stand. Also, girls nowadays had no shame and had
no qualms about running to their parents. It was during a close call where a
girl had tried to get him arrested that he decided to turn to boys. The girl
had gotten her parents on her side, but there had been no real evidence and the
hospital had backed him up.

�� Boys weren�t exactly ideal for his needs, but they served a
purpose and kept him safe. They acted more confused at his actions than the
girls, but in the end, they just grit their teeth and bore it in silence, too
embarrassed to tell anyone about it. Truthfully, he didn�t see what the big
deal was. Breaking the law was kind of exciting, but they weren�t children and
he didn�t hurt them. He also didn�t do it to all of his patients only the ones
he thought deserved it. Duo didn�t exactly fit this category, though. He was
quiet, soft spoken, and polite, the perfect teenager, in Stark�s opinion.
Heero, on the other hand, was just Stark�s type. The thought that he was
molesting Heero Yuy�s best friend behind his back was the best sort of victory.
Besides, the longhaired boy was just too pretty for him to let the chance pass
him by.

�� The doctor dodged, pulling out his finger, as Duo threw a
weak punch at his head. The boy was still too weak to do any damage that way,
but making sure that the blow wouldn�t land was satisfying. It wouldn�t do for
the boy to think that he could get away with such behavior. He wasn�t the first
that had tried to fight him, but it had always amounted to nothing. He couldn�t
stop the slightly disbelieving, amused laughter that spilled from his lips and
he didn�t want to.

��

�� Duo collapsed against the pillows, panting. It had been
stupid trying to do that. Dull pain laced up his back. He had known that he was
too weak to actually hit anyone, but he hadn�t cared, he had been too angry. It
had been oddly satisfying, too, knowing that he had not only come close to
striking him, but he had fought back. He had never fought against Wes, that was
why the thought of killing him seemed so stupid, but this man wasn�t Wes.
Compared to his ex-pimp, he was a bug, bothersome, but worthless. Duo felt an
odd sort of power knowing that he had, for the first real time, tried, not to
get away, but actually try to hurt someone that was hurting him. He also knew
that, if it hadn�t been for the harsh words Stark had spoken about Heero, he
wouldn�t have even thought about it. What was happening to him? In the past,
the thought of striking someone who was touching him like that would have
filled him with ingrained fear. He had felt too cowed and powerless, but now he
just felt very angry and wanted, very badly, to hurt the doctor. His actions
didn�t feel like his own and he wasn�t sure if that was a positive thing or
not.

�� Stark took off his gloves and tossed them in the trash.

�� Just what is it that you think you�re doing?� Stark asked
him, �After I�ve worked so hard to
keep you healthy, you�re going to do something so childish?�

�� The doctor cupped Duo�s cheek and the boy flinched hard
away from him. Stark felt that patronizing laughter bubbling up in his throat
again, but made sure not to release it. Duo grabbed at the bedside table to
steady himself as his flinch made him bump his head against the wall. His hand
hit the full water glass on the table and some of the water sloshed out of it.
Stark looked at him with a small smirk that Duo was starting to hate. Even when
he had tried to fight back, knowing what Stark had been doing to him for days
made him feel sick. What about when he had been too drugged up to remember his
own name? Had he done anything to him, then? The thought of someone touching
him when he was that vulnerable reminded him of being chained to Wes� bed and
it sent violent shudders through his body. Even when he tried to fight back he
couldn�t stop anything. He was useless. He wanted Heero� he had left him all
alone, but that was his fault, not Heero�s. He knew that if he told Heero to
make Stark stop, he would. That was one of the reasons why his love for him
burned so deeply. He had told Heero to make the pain stop and he had, just like
that. Heero felt like the only person he could really trust. He had turned to
hate when he had discovered what he and Zechs were doing because he cared. But, it was because of that that he couldn�t say
anything. He wanted Heero to see him as a strong person, not the stupid, ugly
coward that he really was. He just wanted Heero to come back. If he could just see him, he could pretend that
everything was all right.

�� You really are quite pretty, for a boy, I mean. Even with that
gorgeous hair of yours, you�re definitely not a girl, but you�re still pretty,�
Stark mused, �I can see why that boy is eating out of your hand and it�s as
equally obvious why you allow him to follow you around like some dumb puppy. I
mean, if you hang around that family for long enough, they�ll open a lot of
doors for you. Just look at what they�ve done for you so far! But, even an
independent kid like you needs an adult to lead him,� Stark gripped his chin,
meeting Duo�s furious eyes, �So, how about it? I�m sure you�ve seen enough
being that boy�s friend that the two of us could blackmail them with!�

�� Asshole!� Duo snarled, wrestling
out of his grip. Stark felt that righteous laughter building up and let it go,
the sound hysterical at the sight of Duo�s useless anger. The doctor staggered
backwards as Duo�s water glass crashed into his forehead, shattering and
splashing water all over his head, making his hair stick to his skin and he
looked pathetically like a drowned cat. He looked at Duo with wide,
disbelieving eyes. His thoughts were jumbled and he couldn�t figure out what
had just happened. He saw Duo sag into the bed, but why he looked so tired, yet
proud, escaped him. Then, the pain started, a strange mixture of stinging and
throbbing. A long, red line formed on his forehead and a thick stream of blood
started to trickle down his face. He blinked back to wakefulness as he tasted
his own blood. With a shaky hand, he swiped off the blood that had dripped down
his mouth and stared at his hand, stained a brilliant red. Duo would have
laughed at the sight of Stark�s shocked expression if he didn�t feel so
drained. Stark wiped at the stream of blood and stared at it again.

�� You� you little�� the doctor stammered. That bastard had
hit him with a fucking glass, he had
made him bleed!

�� You little shit!� he yelled, finally managing the words
and he raised his fist to strike him. Duo stayed calm in the face of the
doctor�s fury.

�� I wouldn�t do that,� he said in a flat voice.

�� Stark froze as Duo�s voice broke through the fog of anger
that was wrapping around his mind. Where had his carefully constructed control
gone?

�� You�re wrong about Heero. He�s better than you, he would never touch
me like that. He�s my best friend and he and Mrs. Yuy care about me. If they
find out about what you�ve done, losing your job will be the last of your
worries,� Duo said, marveling at his own calm. Blackmail� was that what he was
doing? It felt kind of good. He wasn�t surprised that he wasn�t afraid of being
hit. He had been beaten by the best, after all, but for the first time in his
life, he had something protecting him he had a small shark od power.

�� You won�t tell anyone,� Stark said confidently, but he
lowered his hand. Duo cocked his head to the side.

�� On my own, no. But, in order to
protect Heero, I�ll do what I have to. If you hit me, Heero will find out about
it and he�ll find a way to make me tell him everything,� Duo smiled fondly, �he has a way of doing that to me. The last thing I
want is for him to find out about this like that. If he
discovers that I�ve been hiding this, it�ll hurt him, but if I willfully tell him� I�d rather he
didn�t find out at all, but I will tell
him if I have to,� Duo reasoned. Stark glared at him, but Duo could tell that
he was backing off and he closed his eyes. Thomas seethed at the blatant
dismissal but realized that he was trapped. Trapped by a mere child� if it had
happened to anyone else, he would have laughed. He stifled a childish grumble
and started to leave.

�� Don�t forget to clean up the glass,� Duo called, wondering
if he could get a nap in before Heero returned. Stark grit his teeth, but
grabbed a broom and dustpan from the closet and went to work

�� Stark made quick work of the glass and left, which Duo was
grateful for. He felt tired from the last few days of battling his withdrawal
and dealing with his doctor. He would stick to his word and not tell Heero and
Name about any of it. It wasn�t because he was rewarding him for not striking
him. It was simple, really. He knew what most of the world was like and he had
learned over the years that there was no changing that. Even if he told on
Stark, it wouldn�t change things. At the very least, he could let Name and
Heero keep thinking of Stark as a good person. It was a lie, but it was a good
lie. Besides, Stark wouldn�t touch him from now on now that he had put the fear
of Mamma Yuy in him and that was enough of a victory for him. Feeling better
than I had since before the fight he had had with Heero so long ago, he allowed
himself to fall asleep.

��

�� Duo awoke to see Heero sitting in his chair, watching him
sleep with a fond smile on his handsome face.

�� Hey,� Heero said softly.

�� Mm,� Duo gave a sleepy moan, the covers wrapped around him
which he knew had been Heero�s doing, �Wha� time is it?� he asked, still half asleep. Heero�s
smile turned even softer, if that was possible.

�� It�s noon. You were sleeping so deeply, I didn�t want to
wake you. How are you feeling?�

�� Duo stretched as much as he could and yawned, struggling
towards wakefulness.

�� Better, I think. My head and neck still ache a little, but
I�m not so cold,� he admitted.

�� Heero�s smile widened.

�� No hallucinations?�

�� Duo shook his head.

�� The fever�s almost completely gone and Dr. Stark said that
he thinks the worst of it is over.�

�� Heero breathed a silent sigh of relief.

�� You look better, not so shaky. Do you remember the last
two days?� he asked. Duo�s doctor had told him that some short term memory loss
might occur, but he hoped that Duo remembered the promise Heero had made to him
and that he was safe.

�� It�s a blur,� Duo said, �but I remember most of it in bits
and pieces,� he blushed, �Heero, I�m so sorry. I worried you and those crazy
things I said-,�

�� Duo, don�t apologize,� Heero interrupted, brushing Duo�s
long bangs out of his face, �you never have to apologize to me. You were very
sick, so of course I was worried. You were scared and I don�t blame you for
that. Hell, I was just a bystander and I was scared!�

�� Duo smiled back at him, glad that nothing had changed
poorly after all of the tings he had told him.

�� I am feeling a lot better and Dr. Stark said that I can
start walking soon.�

�� Heero beamed at the news.

�� That�s great!� he exclaimed, �You�ll be out of here in no
time!�

�� Duo�s smile waned a little, though Heero didn�t seem to
notice. He had survived all of this time in the hospital yearning to leave, but
he knew that once he did, he would be on his own again. Heero would leave him,
whether he wanted to or he had to, duo couldn�t know, but he would leave him. He had promised that he
wouldn�t but Duo couldn�t see any other option. Leaving the hospital meant that
he was well and that he was free, but it also meant that he was leaving Heero
behind, or was it that Heero was leaving him? Heero had made the promise, but
Duo hadn�t. Still, he could feel the unspoken agreement not to leave each other in the air. Did it really
need to be said? But it had felt so good hearing Heero make that promise, even
in the terrible pain he had been in at the time. He would stay with Heero for
how long as he could, but in the end, did he really have choice? He wanted to
be better, but if being healthy meant that he had to sacrifice Heero to get
there, he never wanted to walk again! But that wasn�t fair to Heero, to tie him
down to an invalid friend. That wasn�t a friendship, it was like some one sided
parasitic relationship with one person feeding off of the other. He couldn�t
cripple him in that way.

�� By the way,� Heero interrupted Duo�s thoughts and took out
a glasses case from his jacket pocket, �these are yours.�

�� Duo�s heart raced at the sight of the case. He blurted out
the first thought that came to him.

�� I�ve never gotten a present before,� he murmured, tears
pricking at his eyes. He told himself that that wasn�t true. Every tie Heero
had shared his lunch with him, every meal Name had cooked for him, all those
flowers she had brought, those were presents. But
Heero handing him his glasses felt like a true gift.

�� Heero blushed darkly as the glass case exchanged hands. His
heart pounded at the fact that Duo�s first present was from him.

�� I picked out the frames and paid for them with my own
money,� Heero told him. Duo looked at him with wide eyes.

�� Heero��

�� Heero rubbed at the back of his head.

�� It seemed appropriate.�

�� Duo looked down at the black, leather case.

�� A real gift,� he thought, his heart beating faster and
faster. He wanted to tell Heero that he didn�t deserve them or that he
shouldn�t have gone through the whole effort, but he knew that that would just
cheapen it, besides, he could barely breathe, let
alone speak.��

�� Tell me if they�re ok,� Heero said and Duo found himself
opening the case.

�� They were slim and elegant looking, but simple and not
fancy. The frames were thin, the arms a deep ebony,
but the rims were a mixture of silver and a deep copper that had been
painstakingly chosen to match his hair. He held them nervously in his hands,
noting how light they were.

�� They�re beautiful,� he breathed. He opened the arm,
slipped them on, and gasped softly.

�� I� I can see,� he whispered. Heero�s heart exploded with
mutual happiness.

�� Really?� he asked excitedly. Duo nodded, a tear tracking
down his cheek.

�� I haven�t seen this well since� since before�� Duo
couldn�t finish the sentence, but he didn�t need to, Heero understood him
perfectly well. Duo looked around the room, shocked at how sharp everything
was. The blurred colors he had no idea had existed. There was an archaic
painting of running, wild horses. The heart monitor had been made by a company
named �Baetes�. There were six white lilies, ten iris�, and four sunflowers in the crystal vase.

�� Heero studied Duo�s amazed expression. The glasses he had
picked out suited him so much better than the other one he had worn. They made
him look adorable because they almost disappeared on his face. He tried to
remember when he had felt this happy and couldn�t. He had found Duo. He was
finally back in his life and he was finally getting
better.

�� Duo suddenly wrapped his arms
around Heero and hugged him tightly. Heero followed the move and hugged him
back, for the first time in days, without having to worry about hurting him.

�� Don�t leave me,� Duo whispered, �don�t leave me alone
again,� he started to shake. He didn�t want to go back to the bad places. He
only wanted to be touched by Heero, not Stark, not Chris�

�� Heero let go of him and looked at his pale face. He
couldn�t follow Duo�s rampant mood swings, but he could tell from the light
shaking that something wasn�t right.

�� What�s wrong? You don�t look well.�

�� Duo looked up at him.

�� I�m just tired,� he said softly, �I�m tired, Heero,� he
pressed his face into Heero�s chest. Heero clung to him, feeling sick all over
again. It wasn�t a physical exhaustion that Duo was talking about, he realized.
His soul was tired. Tired of being hungry, tired of humiliation, tired of abuse, tired
of being dirty. Tired to the bones of being tired. Heero chewed on his
lip. Was he at the end of his rope? Was Duo just going to give up? That
couldn�t happen� he couldn�t let that happen. Even if he had to shoulder all of
Duo�s weight to save him and make him whole again, he would gladly do so.

�� Have you ever seen the ocean?� he asked. Duo looked up at
him, bewildered.

�� No,� I�ve never seen it. I�ve never had the time.�

�� Heero put on a smile but his heart hurt. He had lived here
for two months and he had been to the beach several times, but Duo had lived
here his whole life and hadn�t gone once. He had been too busy trying to
survive.

�� Some Mainer you are!� he teased, �One day, when you�re all
better, I�ll take you there, just the two of us.�

�� Duo wanted to cry. It was too much. Heero was too much. He wanted to say no. Even if, right after he
got out of the hospital, Heero took him to the beach, in the end, Duo would
still be back on the streets. It made him too bitter. But, his memories of
Heero would be all he had, so why not? Why not one last perfect memory?

�� Ok,� he agreed, �I�d like that.�

�� Pinky swear,� Heero said with a
grin.

�� Huh?� Duo asked, confused. Heero sighed heavily and linked
his pinky with Duo�s. Duo watched this with wide-eyed interest like a small child.

�� Pinky swear,� Heero pointed out.

�� Oh,� Duo said, as though he had figured out some great
secret.

�� Name�s business meeting ran late and she didn�t come by
until three, but she brought Heero a hamburger and snuck Duo a chocolate shake,
another treat he had never had, but enjoyed greatly. She became ecstatic when
she heard that Duo might be walking soon and sought his doctor out. Stark
entered the hospital room with a bandage over the cut on his head, completely
ignoring Duo, which Heero and Name knew was odd, but they didn�t mention it.
Instead, Name grilled him about Duo�s progress and he gladly told her
everything he knew until she asked him about the bandage. He nervously shook
off the question and left the room hastily, another bizarre occurrence, but they
pretended like it had never happened.

�� True to his word the next day Stark started Duo�s walking
therapy. Duo expected something grueling, leg stretches and complex exercises,
perhaps. What he hadn�t expected was Stark asking to just stand up and walk to
the door of his room. Wasn�t there supposed to be more to it Of course, he had
been doing leg and back exercises through physical therapy for days but he
didn�t think that he was supposed to just stand up. He stared at the doctor
blankly for a few seconds. After a week in the hospital, walking still seemed
so complicated. He knew, logically, that he should at the very least, be able
to stand by now. Sitting up was as easy as breathing now and his back muscles
were strong enough for him to write and eat on his own. Throwing that glass at
Stark had proved that to him, but after the trauma of his ruptured spleen, he
was a little bit scared of trying to walk. Then, there was the thing that had
been nagging at him like a hungry parasite. From the moment he had woken up
after his surgery, he had wanted to leave. He hated the hospital, it was
frighteningly close to what Wes had done to him, making him weak and
vulnerable, trapping him in that room, that bed� But now that he was stronger
and could finally see the light at the end of the tunnel, he realized the
truth. As long as he was sick, weak, and hurting, Heero would stay with him. He
had promised and Duo knew that Heero would keep that promise. As long as he was
here, Heero wouldn�t abandon him. But, what about when he was whole again, when
Heero no longer felt the need, the duty, to stick by him? He would be back on
the streets soon, his slowly rising strength told him that, how he would
survive without Wes and the shelter he and the prostitution had provided, he
still hadn�t figured out. Perhaps he would go back to begging and stealing like
he had as a child. It would be harder now that he was a teenager and since his
reputation as a whore was pretty solid on the streets, that would create a lot
of problems for him. Johns would recognize him, other
prostitutes would probably consider him a threat to their livelihood and now
that he had no pimp, they would consider him fair game and so would other pimps.
Then there was Wes. Duo was sure that the man wouldn�t give up on him. He had
the stubborn streak of a fighting dog and eluding him would be the most
difficult thing. Among all of the questions and unknowns, Duo knew one thing:
when he left the hospital, Heero wouldn�t be there anymore and he didn�t know
if he wanted to live with that. The fear of being alone was overwhelming and
the fear of never seeing Heero again was ten times worse. Last night, when
Heero had fallen asleep, Duo had laid awake, thinking. He mulled the entire
week over in his head. Heero had stayed with him through a lot of crap and Duo
knew that he would just be kidding himself if he actually believed he had
gotten through everything as well as he had, with or without Heero�s help. When
he was gone, would what little strength he had left leave him as well? The
withdrawal had been bad and Duo remembered all of the bad things he had wanted
to do to himself, but the fear of Heero�s disapproval had made him not do those
things. He had struggled through the physical therapy, partially because he had
wanted to leave so badly, but mostly because he wanted Heero to be proud of
him. In those late hours of the night, he had seriously considered hurting
himself to stay in the hospital, but he couldn�t. Heero was his friend and
friends didn�t pull that shit just to keep each other. That wasn�t friendship, it
was leaning, it was crippling.

�� So, here he was, about to take the big leap of trying to
walk and found that his greatest fear was not of failing, but succeeding. He
felt Name and Heero�s gazes on him and could feel their hope. They wanted very
much for him to get better and who was he to deny them that. He sat on the edge
of the bed, his feet dangling over the side, and he placed his feet on solid
ground. The tiles were cold under his bare feet, but it felt nice. His leg
muscles flexed and, for the first time in a week, he stood under his own power.
His butt left the bed and for a brief second, he was disoriented, but he just
looked at Heero and felt the world come back to him. Heero�s anxious face broke
out into a grin.

�� How does it feel?� he asked eagerly. Stark stood behind
Name and Heero, watching intently, but not saying a word. Duo analyzed himself
as he stood. He wasn�t toppling over, which was a good sign and more than he
could have hoped for.

�� It�s a little wobbly,� he admitted, �but nothing hurts and
I�m not falling down yet,� he joked. Name looked like she wanted t o hug him,
but restrained herself.

�� Alright,� Stark finally spoke, �why don�t you try to walk
to the door? If you feel up to it, we can try the hallway, as well. If you feel
any stress in your side or lower back stop walking and tell us. There�s no
sense in you hurting yourself this late in the game,� he warned. Duo nodded.
Heero stepped up and placed his hand under Duo�s upper arm not supporting him,
but staying close in case he needed to help him. It was ten steps to the door.
Duo had spent the last three days, when he had been lucid, watching people come
and go and counting their steps. At first it had been about keeping occupied,
but it had quickly turned into being prepared for the inevitable.

�� His legs felt weak as he walked, but stable and he managed
to make it to the door with no problem. Heero was like a hawk, watching his
friend�s every move. When Dr. Stark had told him it was finally time for Duo to
start walking again, he had been both excited and a bit nervous. So far
everything looked ok. He managed to contain himself so he wasn�t helping Duo
walk, though he was diligent in watching for any stumbles. He felt like
cheering when they made it to the door, but settled for grinning like a kid on
Christmas morning. Duo felt a mixture of feelings when his hand closed around
the doorknob, relief, joy, frustration, sadness. For a moment, it looked like
Heero would intervene and try to open the door for him, but Duo was glad when
he stayed still. He had thought that it would be hard, that the door would
defeat him, but his hand was steady as it opened the door.

�� Duo felt a momentary pang of disappointment when he saw how
boring and ordinary the hallway was. He had waited a week for this, but all he
could see was white. The long hallway was rightly lit, the repetitively white
walls only broken by the maroon signs by each door with their white room
numbers. Duo shook off his disappointment and continued down the hall. Heero
followed closely, reminding Duo of Stark calling him a dog. Beyond his anger at
the insult, he could see the truth in that. They were like cats and dogs. Duo,
the solitary, wild creature yearning for affection, but too independent and
stubborn to bring himself down to the level where he could get that intimacy
and Heero, sweet, bright, loyal, fiercely, protective, willing to do anything
for attention from the people he loved, but the wild wolf still lurked under
the surface. They owned each other, but they were still equally wild. Duo knew
that that epiphany should have bothered him, but it actually made him feel a
little bit better. He managed another six steps before his body started to
remind him he had been stuck in bed for a week for a reason. A small prickling
sensation started to build in his back and his legs shook.

�� That�s enough,� Heero insisted, easily seeing the changes
in his stance. Duo nodded.

�� Can I walk back?� he asked, almost begging. He could see
Heero mulling it over, but the blue eyed boy nodded.

�� Duo had to sit down for a few minutes to steady his legs
while Stark exclaimed how great his progress was, but after five minutes, he
was ready to try again. It went like that all day, Duo would walk farther and
farther until he would have to sit down, but he would be back on his feet after
only a few minutes. By the time that Name was getting ready to go home, Duo had
been able to walk to the public bathroom and back to his room without having to
rest. Even the composed woman smile happily when the doctor informed her that
he saw no reason why Duo couldn�t be taken home in three days, if not less if
he continued to make progress like he had been.

�� I�ll be going �home� in three days,� Duo couldn�t help but
think bitterly. He felt that half-excitement, half-fear again, but it did feel
good, that feeling of �progress�. When Name said her goodbyes to Heero and Duo,
for once, everyone was smiling, though Duo seemed distant. He lay in bed and
listened to Heero talking about how excited he was about Duo being discharged.
He could finally see the light through the tunnel, he
just wished it still wasn�t so dark.

�� After giving Duo a thorough, but professional exam the next
morning, Stark proclaimed that he would be discharged in two days, not three,
since his headaches were manageable and his back didn�t hurt him anymore. Heero
and Stark had a small fight about letting Duo take a real shower. Stark said that it was too soon to leave Duo alone in
the shower and Heero argued that, if he could walk down the hallway, he could
stand in a shower for a few minutes. Duo was nearly salivating at the mere
thought of getting a shower. Every day, his nurse would give him a sponge bath,
which was beyond embarrassing, having some strange woman cleaning him. She was
young and attractive in a non-extraordinary way, but Duo felt nothing, even
when her full, ample breasts pressed against his naked chest when she washed
him. She could tell that she wanted him to be an was
annoyed that he gave no indication of more than noticing her when she was
there. Any doubts about his sexuality had quickly left him after that. He had
felt more excited when Heero�s hand had been on him when he had tried to walk
than when the nurse had been washing his cock. No matter how thorough she had
been, he had still felt dirty, especially his hair, so the prospect of a shower
felt more like a dream than a possibility. Unfortunately, the intertwining
thoughts of Heero trying to win him a shower and his embarrassing memories of
the sponge baths gave him the mental image of Heero giving him a sponge bath and he had to hide amongst the
blankets while his will his cock to stop trying to harden. At least that was something
he didn�t have to worry about. He had heard about men who went through surgery
and ended up impotent. It sounded like an urban legend to him, but he supposed
that it was possible. Still, it wasn�t something he had ever been worried
about. He knew that it was shameful for a man not to be able to get it up, but
it was even more shameful to him to get an erection while he was being raped.
There had been times in the past when he had wished he was impotent but it looked like that was one part of his body that
wasn�t broken The way he saw it, everyone had basic needs; water, food, sex, cleanliness,
and sleep. He had lived his life with an adequate amount of water, little food,
sleep, and cleanliness, and afar too much sex. But, now his world had been
flipped and he had food and water and sleep with barely any sex. Now he just
needed to do something about, finally, getting clean.

�� In the end, Heero won the fight, though Stark demanded that
Heero at least say in the bathroom with him, in case he fell. Heero blushed as
he made the promise. Duo would be completely naked, only a few feet away from
him. Sure, he was now only wearing underwear and a hospital gown, bur for some reason,
the thought of being in the same room with Duo as he took a shower made him
feel prickly and hot. Duo also blushed at the promise, but for different
reason. There was the eroticism of Heero standing outside the shower, but there
was also his shame towards his own skinny, scarred, ugly body. He didn�t want
Heero to see him naked, ever, but Stark didn�t say that he had to. In and out,
he would make sure that the shower was quick and that Heero never saw a thing.

�� The two boys colleted towels, a clean gown, underwear, and
soap and shampoo and made their way down the hall. Duo was almost perfectly
steady on his feet now and Heero knew that he wouldn�t be falling over anytime
soon. They walked to the private bathroom s and looked themselves in, both of
them blushing. Heero watched his friend organize the supplies on the shelf of
the shower and felt amazed at his progress. It was hard to equate the starving,
bleeding boy he had found shivering in his room with the boy in front of him,
walking, talking, independent� He shook his head. The bathroom was decent or a
hospital utility. The shower was designed to fit two people with a sliding
glass door, matt to keep people from slipping, various shower attachment, and a
seat for patients who couldn�t stand, but were well enough to leave their
rooms. There was a small mirror over the white porcelain sink and a soap
dispenser that was nearly leaking the pink soap it held. Heero wrinkled his
nose. Only a hospital could have soap that actually smelled sterile, he decided. He turned his back to Duo, facing the
door.

�� You can get undressed,� he said, beyond embarrassed. He
remembered how aroused he had bee when Duo had taken a shower at his house, and
there had at least been a door separating them then. Fortunately, since Duo
needed to get naked, Heero could hide his erection. HE swore at himself at how
inappropriate he was being. Duo didn�t need this right now and he didn�t
either.

�� If you need me, just, uh, call,� Heero stammered, feeling
like an ass.

�� Ok,� Duo said in a small voice and Heero heard the oddly
sexy sound of what he assumed was Duo�s gown moving down his body to fall to
the floor. His face felt like it was trying to combust as he felt the head of
his dick pushing against his jeans. He put his hands over the bulge
automatically, even though there was no one there to see it. He heard Duo�s
feet padding softly on the cold tiles as he walked to the shower, opening and
closing the door, the sharp sound of the water following.

�� Duo got into the shelter of the shower with its frosted
door as quickly as possible, shrugging off his gown and underwear and getting
into the shower.� He didn�t take his hair
down until he turned the water on. He felt insecure about letting it down in
front of Heero, even though he knew that was stupid. If there was anyone he should
be ok about letting down his hair around, it was Heero. He made a small content
moan as the hot water hit him and he arched his back, closing his eyes as the
water soaked his hair, making it heavy. For a few minutes, he just reveled in
being wet and warm and feeling the seat and grime and sickness slide off him
with the water. It was only when he felt halfway human again that he reached
for the soap.

�� Heero swore mentally as he heard Duo�s heated moan. Fuck,
but that sounded hot. He squeezed his eyes shut and started to count backwards
from one hundred, hoping that would soothe his tense body. It didn�t. This was
ridiculous, he told himself, Duo trusted him and this was not the sort of
reaction he should be having towards him, no matter how good that little moan
had sounded, no matter at his own curiosity wondering what Duo would sound like
moaning for more, he was better than that, wasn�t� he? He wasn�t one of Duo�s
nasty johns who didn�t care how much they hurt him as long as they got their
rocks off in the end.

�� Heero wanted very much to take a peek when he heard the
water shut off and Duo stepped out of the shower but reminded himself that he
had no right to do so, not without Duo�s permission, and simply handed Duo a
clean gown, still keeping his back turned. As Duo took the gown from Heero, he
decided that he was looking forward to his release ate just because he would be
able to put on real clothes again. He
could never put down his guard because of the skimpy outfit and felt so
insecure, constantly checking that the back was adequately tied. He felt almost
completely better after finally being able to wash himself. His hair felt
lighter now that the seat was gone and he could almost imagine that he could
leave today, right now, but as agile as he was on his feet, he still felt
weaker and more tire d than he should and knew that he would need those two
days. He was once against struck with the question of whether he would ever go
back to normal or if he had pushed his body too far and this was a good as
things were going to get. Still, being able to walk was good enough for him
right now.

�� Thank you,� he told Heero, �for the shower, I mean. It
makes me feel a lot better.�

�� I�m glad,� Heero said, his eyes
painfully fixed on the door. Duo felt himself blushing
again, realizing that he was standing completely naked next to his friend and quickly
tugged on his underwear. He had been seen by hundreds of men naked and he knew
that he was being silly, but this was Heero.
He stood in front of the mirror and stared at his reflection. His hair was soaked,
the quick braid he had put together trailing down his back and his long bangs
tuck to his face, giving him the appearance of a wet cat. His skin was so pale,
it was almost white under the bright lights, ruined by dozens of scars on his
bare chest, neck, arms, and even his stomach. He had little muscle mass, but he
wasn�t quite as skinny as he had been. He curled his hands into fists. His
violet eyes looked so weird to him. He looked sick and felt ugly, especially standing
so close to Heero. If his friend turned around, would he see how ugly he was,
too? He wanted to hide his body, but his eyes were fixed on his reflection. In
his darkest moments in that room when he had submerged himself in fantasy just
to stay sane, he had imagined that Heero had liked him in that way. It had been
a wonderful illusion, but that didn�t mean that it was real. Even if Heero
could, somehow, like another boy Duo was very sure that he would never fall for
him. In that moment, he hated his body more than he ever had before. It had
betrayed him so many times in the past and it was doing so again. He was ugly
and weak, so why was he finally healing now hat he wanted to stay by Heero�s
side?

�� Heero knew that something was wrong when everything was
silent for several minutes, but didn�t have the courage to turn around until he
was absolutely certain that Duo wanted him to. He knew that he hadn�t fallen
down because he could sense him only a foot from him, but he didn�t seem to be moving.
Still, Heero was patient and waited. Suddenly, he heard glass shatter and fall
on the floor in such an explosion of noise in the silence of the bathroom that
his heart actually lurched in his chest. Privacy and humiliation be damned,
Heero turned sharply. Duo was just standing there, wearing only a pair of gray,
cotton boxers amongst the fallen shards of glass, staring at the place where
the mirror had once been, his right hand bleeding from small cuts, some open,
some with glass still imbedded in the skin.

�� Heero was at Duo�s side in a second, but to him, it felt
like he was moving sluggishly. Duo started to kneel down to pick up one of the
glass shards and Heero grabbed his arm, the only place he dared to touch in his
state of undress, and pulled him back up.

�� Leave it be!� he snapped. Duo struggled
against him, but Heero held him still.

�� Damn it, Duo, you�re going to hurt yourself!�

�� Maybe I want to
hurt myself!� Duo snarled, still trying to free himself.

�� How can you say that?� Heero hissed, the pain in his voice
made Duo stop, thinking that he had stepped on some of the glass, but when he
looked, he saw that Heero was thankfully wearing shoes. He felt his anger start
to wane into bitterness.

�� It�s not fair,� he murmured.

�� Every time I get some good, it just gets taken away from
me, my own body betrays me over and over again, and now Heero�s going to be leaving
me,� he thought, but couldn�t voice the thoughts.

�� I�m never going to heal, am I?� he asked.

�� My mind, heart, soul, whatever you want to call it, is
never going to heal. I�m broken and now I�m going to lose the only good thing that�s
ever happened to me.�

�� Heero expression turned from frustration to confusion. One
minute, Duo was happy about getting a shower, the next he was trying to hurt
himself, saying that he was never going to heal. Heero knew that it had nothing
to do with his body�s progress. He sighed. Duo�s gown was still bunched up in
his other hand.

�� Come on get dressed. We�ll get a nurse for your hand and
have someone clean this up.�

�� Duo slipped on the gown and allowed Heero�s patient hands
to guide him safely around the glass. He had scared him again and he wasn�t
quite sure how to explain his actions besides telling the truth. He wanted to
tell Heero that it didn�t� matter. He could be as patient and caring as he
wanted, but he still wasn�t going to be whole ever again. He was sure of it.
Losing Heero had broken him once, but a second time?

�� The nurse they found wandering the hallways took care of
Duo�s hand, which wasn�t as cut up as Heero had originally thought, tsking at Duo�s carelessness. Heero had told her that he
had overestimated his strength and fallen. When he had tried to grab the
counter, he smashed his hand against it. It sounded like a stupid story to both
of their ears, but the nurse bought it. His mother�s words about people rather
believing good lies than the bad truth came to him. The only reason why he had decided
to lie to her was because he was sure that Stark would want to keep Duo in the
hospital if he thought that Duo was intentionally trying to harm himself. He
felt angry that Duo had cut up his hand, but understood that there was a good
reason for the act, he just had to seek it out.
Besides, when Stark found out that Duo had �fallen� when he had specifically
warned them of that, he would do enough yelling for both of them.

�� The second that Duo settled back into his much-hated
hospital bed, he turned his face away from Heero, unable to meet his piercing
stare.

�� What is wrong with you,� Heero said sternly, unwilling to
let him off the hook.

�� It�s not what you think,� Duo muttered.

�� Then what is it?�
Heero insisted, keeping his voice soft and patient as he sat on the edge of the
bed. Duo looked at him, realizing that the storm he was expecting wasn�t going
to happen.

�� I didn�t try to hurt myself. When I bent down, I was just
trying to clean it up. I know that it�s stupid, but it was just a reflex.�

�� Alright,� Heero said, feeling a little bit better knowing
that Duo hadn�t tried to cut himself, �but why did you break the mirror?�

�� I was just anxious and frustrated,
it wasn�t exactly a conscious decision.�

�� What were you anxious about?� Heero questioned. Duo sighed
mentally. He was sick of voicing his worries, but this was something he had to
say.

�� Heero, as soon as I leave this hospital, I�m gone. I don�t have a family and I don�t
have as much as a dollar. Everything I own is at the apartment. I�m fifteen, so
it�s either the streets again or an orphanage that�ll just waste resources on
me. There�s no way in hell I�m going back to prostitution, so I have to find some way of getting money, but do you honestly
think we can keep seeing each other in that situation?�

�� Heero�s face became pained and he frowned. Duo felt bad,
realizing that Heero hadn�t even thought of that.

�� Duo,� he said in a sad, soft voice, �you�re going home
with mom and I. You�re staying with us, you�re not
going anywhere. It thought you knew that,� the pain in Heero�s eyes was intense
and he had to look away. He smiled bitterly. Heero had actually believed he was
going home with him this entire time?�

�� Does your mother know that?� he asked.

�� Heero paused. Truthfully, he realized, they had never
discussed what would happen to Duo when he was discharged. Heero had assumed
that it was obvious that he was coming home with them, but he realized that his
mother had never said that that was what was going to happen. That Duo had
assumed that he would just let him disappear into the night after finally
finding him again, hurt.

�� No, we haven�t talked about it,� Heero admitted �but I�m
not going to let you disappear on me again!�

�� Duo felt a pang of guilt. He hadn�t really thought about
what the future would mean for Heero. He had thought that he would just move on
without him but he knew that he, personally, would never be able to move on and
he finally realized that Heero was hurting with the thought that he was going
to lose a friend.

�� Your mother�s been so kind to me,� he said softly, �she
worked so hard trying to find me and now she�s paying for all of my hospital
bills. She didn�t have to do any of that stuff. Even if it wasn�t a lot of
money for you guys, she still went out of her way for a stranger. I can�t
expect her to keep shelling out generosity. I have no way to compensate her for
anything that she�s done for me and �m sure that she wouldn�t want some�
moocher living in her house and eating her food!�

�� Heero sighed.

�� You�re not a stranger Duo. She likes you and after
everything that�s happened to you, she wants to help, not for charity of pity,
because she knows you�re a good person and she cares very deeply about what happens
to you. She doesn�t expect you to pay her back, she knows that you can�t and
she doesn�t want you to. Knowing my mother, she�d consider it an insult to her
character if you tried,� he smiled, �and even if she doesn�t want you living
with us, she wouldn�t leave you high and dry like that.� With every word that
he spoke, Heero became more and more confident. He knew for sure that his
mother would do whatever she could to get him back on his feet. The thought of Duo
living with them indefinitely made his heart pound with a mix of excitement and
desire. To be able to see Duo every day, to share his life with him, to never
have to just sit by and watch as he disappeared again, that would be a wonderful
thing, wouldn�t it?

�� Duo wasn�t as convinced as Heero was. It was true that Name
was a very kind woman and had gone out of her way for him, but everyone had
their limits. Mostly, he couldn�t imagine a nobody
like him living at that house with Heero and his mother. That fell under �dream
come true�, but after all the bad things that had happened, he couldn�t believe
in his dreams anymore, couldn�t bear to think of the future. He would never be
that lucky. He had loved too long watching his dreams die to believe in them
anymore.

�� I thought I told you to keep an eye on him� Stark snapped
at Heero as he checked over Duo�s wounded hand. Heero had enough sense to look
ashamed.

�� I knew I never should have let you have your way. A shower
could have waited another day. Damn kids,� the doctor grumbled, �you think you
know everything, don�t you�

�� Heero bristled at the comment but Duo defended him.

�� It�s my own fault I got hurt, not Heero�s. He didn�t know
anything was wrong and when he did, he made sure that I didn�t hurt myself
further, duo pointed out. Stark seemed to grudgingly accept his words, because
he didn�t say anything further as he bandaged Duo�s hand.

�� It doesn�t look like there�s been anything but superficial
damage. You were lucky, just keep it clean and it should heal quickly. Now I
want to talk to you about your discharge.�

�� Duo and Heero became solemn as the doctor handed Duo three
slips of paper.

�� Your body is healing remarkably well considering the
trauma that it went through. However, there will be permanent damage.�

�� Heero frowned, hundreds of terrible
scenarios flashing through is mind. Duo looked at the papers in confusion. He
couldn�t understand anything that the doctor had written down.

�� Those are scripts for the medications you will have to
take as soon as you leave here. The first is an all purpose vitamin to
stabilize your anemia and malnutrition. It should also help a little for your
weak immune system. The second is a slightly weaker dose of the medication you
are taking now to help with the withdrawal. The third medication will do what
you spleen was doing before we removed it. You will have to take one pill a day
of the first and third medication for the rest of your life. Without the
chemicals from the medication or your spleen, you will get very sick and
probably die. Do you understand?�

�� Duo nodded frantically, handing the scripts to Heero for
safe keeping since he didn�t rust himself with them. He had never considered
the possibility that he would have to buy medication just to live. He had thought that once he was
well enough to leave the hospital, he would be fine. How was he supposed to
afford medication? The vitamins and withdrawal aid he could do without, he decided,
but the stabilizer sounded like serious business and was probably expensive.

�� I know you�re feeling much better,� Stark continued, �but
you still have a bit of work left gaining back your strength and stamina. Even
though I�m releasing you the day after tomorrow, I don�t want you to go back to
school for at least another week.�

�� Ok, that shouldn�t be a problem,� Duo said with an odd
look in his eye. He waited patiently for the doctor to leave before he released
the little dark chuckle he had been holding in.

�� What is it?� Heero asked, not finding any humor in anything
that Stark had said.

�� It won�t be a problem because I�m never going back to
school� Duo explained matter-of-factly.

�� Duo, I told you, I�m not going to let you become
homeless!� Heero insisted. Duo sighed.

�� Even if I was living with you, which is not going to
happen, I still can�t go back to
school. Don�t you remember? I missed too many classes at the beginning of the
year and Khushrenada told me that if I missed anymore, he would have to expel
me,� Duo pointed out, �besides, I think over a month�s absence is something
that he won�t be able to ignore.�

�� But I�m sure that Treize will be able to pull a few
strings for you!� Heero shot back, �you�re a good student and he likes you.
When he finds out what happened to you, I�m positive he�ll let you come back.�

�� I don�t want anyone to
know what happened!� Duo snapped, �The only reason why I told you and Name is
because I was drugged out of my mind at the time and I trust you two!�

�� Duo,� Heero said in a soft voice, �what are you so worried
about? No one�s going to judge you for what happened. You were raped, no one
could hate you for that.�

�� Duo shook his head. It overwhelmed him how naive Heero was
sometimes.

�� You don�t know people like I do. I don�t want anyone
knowing, it�s embarrassing. Why are you fighting this so hard anyway? What
difference does it make if I go to school or not? It doesn�t matter,� duo said
bitterly. Heero ran a hand through his hair in frustration

�� Is it so wrong that I want the best for you? After everything
that�s happened, I want you to be happy and have the lift that you deserve, not
just because you were hurt, but because you�re a good person and you do deserve
the best! If I have to fight the whole world for that to happen, then I will! Why do you give up so easily?!� Heero demanded. Duo looked
away, unable to meet his blazing stare.

�� I gave up on anything better a very long time ago, Heero,�
he murmured, �School is just one of those things.��

�� The two of them lapsed into a mutual, frustrated silence,
unable to find the words to console the other.

�� The next morning found Duo anxious enough that he actually
felt sick. With the news that Duo was definitely going to be released the
following morning, due to Stark�s pleasure at how well Duo was progressing,
Name was taking the day off to be with them. Duo knew that Heero was going to
talk to his mother about him coming home with them and he felt like his guilt over
so many things was going to disembowel him. He had taken Heero away from
school, friends, and his family simply because he was too weak to stand on his
own. Name, a woman who had no investment in his well being at all, was going
out of her way to see that all of his needs were met. He had caused the both of
them a lot of stress and worry since running away and he knew that he could
never pay them back for their kindness. Still, despite all of these guilts, the mere option of moving in with Hero, no matter
how impossible, made his heart pound. If there had been no strings attached, he
would have picked that in a heart beat. But, he couldn�t ask Name to support
him like that. He was just Heero�s friend, not her own child, and he would be
taking a lot from them, unable to give anything back. It wouldn�t be fair to
them and his sense of independence wouldn�t allow him to ask of the one thing
that he really wanted.

�� Heero was just as anxious as Duo about his mother�s
arrival. He was sure that she would assuage Duo�s fears about what would be happening
to him tomorrow, but he was willing to fight her if that wasn�t the case. Duo
was going home with him. He had decided that last night while Duo had tossed
and turned, unable to sleep, no doubt because of anxiety over his release. He
didn�t care what it took, it was going to happen. If there was one thing he
could be, it was being stubborn to the point of bull headedness. He had never
wanted anything as much as this in his entire life. Well, besides the very
strong urge to kiss his longhaired best friend, but the two desires were
connected.

�� Name arrived in a casual pair of white jeans and a classy,
long sleeved blue shirt with two boxes of pizza balanced in one hand and
daffodils in the other. Heero thought that she must have bribed the staff to
let her bring the food in, but it was equally as likely that she had just waltzed
in with I and no one had dared to stop her. She smiled brightly at Duo as she entered.

�� Good morning both of you,� she said happily, �are we
excited about getting out of here?� she asked Duo. He nodded.

�� It�s about damn time,� Heero growled, making Duo mile and
Name smirk.

�� Patience is a virtue, Heero,� she teased. He glared at
her. Name caught Duo sniffing at the intoxicatingly hot pizza boxes and her
smile grew. After seventeen years, she knew how to get to teenage boys.

�� I thought that we should have a celebration, since this is
your last day in this dismal place,� Name explained, �and the least I can do is
let your last meal here be a pleasant one,� she hid her sadness at how
interested he was at the hot pizza and turned to witch flowers.

�� Mom, Duo wants to know where he�s going after this,� Heero
suddenly blurted out, making Duo flinch.

�� And where do you think you�re going?� she asked as she
threw out the old flowers and refilled the vase with clean water.

�� Well, I didn�t want to assume anything, I mean, I�m really
grateful for everything you and Heero have done for me, but realistically, I
know it would be a huge hassle to take care of me and I can�t really pay rent
or anything-,�

�� He thinks we�re going to let him go back to the streets,�
Heero said in a short, tense voice.

�� Don�t be silly,� Name scoffed, turning to look at Duo, �of
course you�re going home with us, honey! I thought that that was obvious. It
would be cruel and irresponsible for me to take away a stable environment from
you now that you finally have a second chance at life away from that pig of a
man.�

�� But,� Duo stammered, �you don�t
have to do that! I wouldn�t feel right about it, taking from you like that when
I can�t give anything back!�

�� Name brushed his long bangs out of his face and gave him a
tender look that was so motherly that
he wanted to cry.

�� No matter what you take from me, I would consider it
yours. I would feel worse making you go off on your own that let you be healthy
and finally have a loving home. I do have to do this, because I certainly
wouldn�t be able to sleep at night knowing such a good person was suffering
alone because of my actions. If you really want to pay me back, you can do
something with these new opportunities, or, more short term, you can help me
around the house. Either way, even if I have to hunt you sown and drag you to
the house, you will come back with us,� she said forcefully, in a tone that Duo
didn�t dare argue with. He nodded.

�� Thank you,� he murmured. Hope
and relief filled him and he felt like he was choking on them, making further
words impossible for him. He felt something tight and heavy release deep inside
of him and tears threatened his vision.

�� Thank you,� he repeated, �I can�t say that enough, but
thank you.�

�� Name smiled kindly and patted his shoulder.

�� Heero watched his friend�s struggle with his emotions and
felt his own struggle trying to match it. As much as he had told himself that,
no matter what, his mother�s opinion didn�t matter and Duo was coming home with
him, he had still felt anxious about it. But, now his desire was pure fact. He
wanted to cry out in joy. Duo was going to be living in the same house as him!
But, he contained it for the sake of his pride, though he was unable to stop
his grin.

�� Now, then, both of you eat,� Name ordered.

�� Heero opened the pizza boxes, handing Duo a slice and
watching as his friend ate slowly, but happily. His mind whirled with thoughts.
Never again would he have to worry about Duo leaving after a weekend. Never
again would he have to be afraid and wonder about Duo�s welfare while he was
warm and safe in his bed. The three of them lapsed into silence as they ate.

�� The next morning found Duo standing in the bathroom wearing
a pair of jeans and grey sweater, staring at himself in the mirror. He could
hardly recognize himself wearing such things. They made him look� classy, but
they were also casual and didn�t make him feel out of place. It was strange how
a little thing like clothes made him feel human again and less like a piece of rotting meat. He looked so neat, composed,
and clean; it was a little bit odd to him. He looked down to his thin wrist.
His medical bracelet was there, white with �Maxwell, Duo,� typed in neat block
letters across it All the forms had been filled out and Name and Heero were
waiting for him. All he had had to do was get dressed rip off the bracelet, and
go home. What a strange phrase that
was! Home� not even an apartment, but an actual house. A
familiar place that was his.
Some place safe and warm where no one would hurt him� his dream home� Heero
would be there and Name and Trowa and Quatre� if he thought about that long
enough, he would start to cry again, and he had done enough of that last night
when he had hoped that Heero was asleep. All he had to do was rip off the
stupid piece of paper, walk out the door, and he could go home with Heero and
try to find out what true family, true security, true happiness felt like, so
why was he just standing here, looking at the bracelet?

�� He was a sentimental person, he knew that much about
himself and he knew that, to him, it wasn�t just a medical bracelet.

�� When he had been much younger, living on the streets before
he had ever met Wes, he had had a habit of hoarding things. It was one of his
earliest memories. He had been four, maybe three, he couldn�t remember. He had
been so hungry, lacking the skills and knowledge to adequately survive that he
would be forced to learn quickly after that. A man had approached him off the
street and, reaching into one of the many grocery gags he had been carrying,
had given him a bright red apple. Despite being hungry and desperate, he had
kept that apple until it had become moldy and rooted and, finally, had turned
to dust, simply because no one had ever been kind to him before. It was the
same now. It was just a stupid piece of paper with his name on it, he knew
that, but there was so much more attached to it. It was a symbol of his
weakness, his frustrated feelings, his pain, it was a reminder of all the bad
thing s that had happened and how easily his body had almost been destroyed. He
frowned. He could think that, but it wasn�t that simple�

�� He heard the door open and looked back to see Heero enter
the bathroom. Heero paused as he took Duo in with his new clothes.

�� Wow,� he said, amazed, �you look really good,� Heero�s
heart pounded at the sight of him.

�� Duo blushed deeply, not used to compliments.

�� How long have you been standing here?� Heero asked
nervously, remembering what happened last time. Duo shrugged.

�� I was just thinking, wondering if I should throw this out
or not,� he explained, gesturing to his wrist, holding it up. Heero looked at
the bracelet and back to Duo.

�� Have you decided yet?�

�� Duo nodded.

�� I think I�ll keep it as a reminder that� that there are
people who care about me,� Duo looked away in embarrassment, �if it weren�t for
you and your mother, I�d be dead. That�s a fact. So, I want to keep this, so if
I ever have any doubts, I can remember how much you guys love me.�

�� Heero smiled and put a hand on his shoulder, making Duo
look up at him again.

�� If you�re going to keep it to remind yourself that we love
you, also keep it to remind yourself that you have the strength to survive. I
may have brought you here and Mom may have paid for you treatment, but it�s
because of your own strength that you�re standing here right now.�

�� Duo nodded, taking off the bracelet, folding it, and
putting it in his pocket.

�� Come on,� Heero said, �Mom�s waiting for us. Let�s go
home.�

�� Duo�s heart pounded as Name escorted them to her car, a
sleek, black car that gleamed under the bright sun. It was a beautiful day,
though it was a bit chilly, several layers of glistening snow on the ground.
Duo blinked dumbly in the light, his eyes watering as they tried to adjust to
the sudden burst of color and light in comparison to the stark white it was
used to after a week in the bland and sterile hospital. The soft sounds of
singing birds were a welcome in comparison to the sharp sounds of a heart
monitor. The crisp air was thick with the sweet smell of pine Duo shivered a
little in the cold, but was glad for the sensation. He got into the back seat
with Heero and curled up against the window. He was going home to that
wonderful, white house with its wide lawn and clean windows. He had a home. It
had a roof and carpets and even a garage! He was going to lie in the place that
he had retreated to in his darkest moments. He was going to live with people
who liked him and had no desire to fuck him. His heart beat wildly in his
chest. He was going to go live with the most powerful person on the planet and
the boy that he loved�

�� On the ride, Name and Heero kept silent, realizing how
overwhelmed Duo was at all of the changes he was about to go through, but Heero
kept an eye on him in case he started to hyperventilate. Duo�s heart was going
a mile a minute as they drove past houses that were a little bit familiar to
him. He pressed his forehead against the cool glass of the window and felt
himself want to shake, but he tightened his muscles and bore it. What the hell
was wrong with him? Why did he feel so transparent and paper thin? The idea of
living in a house like a normal person was daunting at the very least, but
mostly, he hadn�t been normal a day in his life and he felt lost. He didn�t
know how to act in these situations or what would be expected of him. In that
moment, he yearned for the familiarity of his old life. It was fleeting, but
strong. It would be nice to have something familiar to retreat to, but he had
nothing. He felt like jumping out of his skin, it was disconcerting and he knew
that he should feel happy about this change and he was, but he still felt the overwhelming sensation of alienation. He
curled tighter into his little ball and concentrated solely on his breathing.
He wanted his cats. He wanted to hug them, play with them, feel
their fur and warmth and affection. He wondered how they were doing, if they
were all still alive. Toby could take care of himself, he had been taking care
of Shiva and Sammy since they were babies and wasn�t sure if they knew how to
survive on their won as well as the adult cats. Then there were Patches and her
unborn kittens� and what about Shi and Solo and Hi? Were they doing ok? They
were probably pretty worried about him. They probably thought that he was dead,
that�s what he would think.

�� Name pulled the car into the garage and opened Duo�s door
for him, but made sure not to crowd him, wanting him to take his time and feel
comfortable. She felt like she was herding a sounded deer, every step had to be
carefully thought out or he could bolt. He didn�t have any bags, just his medication.
The clothes he had had were gone. They had been soaked in blood and the surgeon
had had to cut them in order to operate. Heero felt like he had before when he
had been helping Duo to walk. He kept his hand next to Duo�s as they walked
into the house, just in case he needed something to hold on to.

�� Duo took his first steps into the house with his eyes wide
open. It seemed like, no matter how much he took in, it still wasn�t enough
There was a green rug when first entered that had the woven, clover leaves on
it, the table with pictures of Heero and his parents when he was little, the
cream and white colored walls that had various beautiful paintings on them and
the large, glistening windows that look outside to the perfect yard. As he
looked around in the hallway, he was amazed to find that almost noting had
changed since he had last been here. The biggest change was the flower vase
with red roses on the hallway table. He didn�t remember much from the night he
had broken in, only tones of muted gray and terrible pain, so when he looked at
the floor, though he knew that it was silly, he expected to see puddles of
blood and water there. He suddenly realized that Name had had to go home to it
and had cleaned up his bloody mess all over the floor, stairs, and especially
in Heero�s room where he had lain down to die. A wave of dizziness hit him and
his steps faltered, but Heero grabbed his arm and righted him

�� I don�t remember,� he said shakily, �it�s so hard, I
barely remember that night, it�s so fuzzy. It hurt so
much, I was so sure I was going to die. All I could do was come back here. This
place� it�s the only place I�ve ever felt safe, I�ve ever considered a home�
but it�s the same, nothing�s change�� Duo lapsed into silence. His head felt
like it was tearing in two. This house was so big and opulent, it felt
wonderful just being here, but he also felt out of place and disgusting among
the cream colored walls and paintings.

�� Come on,� Heero said in a gentle voice, leading Duo to the
stars, �you�ll feel better if you lie down.�

�� Duo nodded. He knew that Stark had told him to relax and
take it easy since it would be awhile for him to get his strength back, but he
hated being weak. As they got to the top of the stairs, Duo stared at a
painting of a red barn that was there. Heero stopped with him, confused as Duo
simply stared at it for several minutes. Name watched the two of them from
behind Heero, but didn�t say anything.

�� Is that a new painting?� Duo asked finally.

�� No,� Heero said, still confused, �it�s been here since we
unpacked it when we moved in.�

�� Duo�s eyes stayed fixed on the painting.

�� I don�t remember it,� he murmured, feeling panic start to
boil in his stomach.

�� Duo, we have a lot of paintings, you probably just didn�t
notice it before,� Heero tried to assume him. Duo shook his head.

�� No, it�s my memory��

�� Have you ever
experienced memory loss?�

�� When I was shot up with KL6 and locked in that dark room
with men raping me day and night, I came back here in my mind,
it was my safe place... I remembered every little detail of this place, I had to,
to keep my mind intact. I remember every
single painting, all of them, except for this one�� Duo struggled to
remember, digging deeper and deeper into his mind for any memory of the
picture, but a sharp pain in his head made him stop.

�� Duo?� Heero asked worriedly. Duo
grabbed his arm.

�� I� I think I do need to take a nap,� he said and continued
down the hall. He immediately went for Heero�s room, but Heero steered him one
more room down, to one of the guest rooms. Name bit her lip at Duo�s words, the
reminder of the horrors he had gone through while they had been frantically
looking for him and the lost look in his eyes as he was led away from Heero�s
room.

�� Heero, where am I going?� Duo asked. The room wasn�t quite
as daunting as Heero�s, but it was still much bigger than his tiny room in the
apartment. He remembered this room from his tour the first day he had come
over, but someone had done quite a bit of remodeling. The walls had been cream
and the room had been completely barren except for the linen less bed the last
time he had seen it. The walls were now painted a beautiful, earthy green and
the bed was made with downy-looking sheets that were navy with silver stars.
There was an adjoining bathroom of his own that was decorated with sea shells
and fish wall paper. The biggest difference was the TV in the corner with
various game systems and a book shelf that was completely filled with book and
DVD cases. He stood froze at the threshold a he slowly came to the realization
that this room had been decorated for him.

�� I thought that it made more sense for you to have room of
your own,� Name said from behind him, �after all, you can�t live in Heero�s
room forever.�

�� Her comment made Heero snort, his and Name�s eyes glued to
Duo, trying to read his reaction to the room.

�� When?� he said in a voice so small that they almost missed
it Name smiled.

�� When I started to look for you and I realized that there
was something very wrong about your father, I thought that you might need some
place to stay. When I left the hospital the first night you were admitted, I
bought the paint wallpaper, and games. I thought it would make you feel more at
home.�

�� Duo felt tears start to escape his iron-clad control. What
the hell was wrong with him? Why was he so� airy today? Name had known, all
that time, she had had the intention to
have him stay� there had been no doubt in her mind and there had been so may in
his. This room was going to be his? Just his? A safe place, a sanctuary where no one could just burst in and hurt
him. Not only that, but Name had gone through so much just to make him
comfortable. Still, he would miss sleeping next to Heero. It had been so
comforting, knowing that there was someone who cared about him only a few feet
away.

�� There are clothes in the closet and drawers,� Name
informed him, �they might be a little big on you, though, but I thought that
bigger clothes might be better once you start to gain some weight.�

�� Duo blinked. He had clothes. Big clothes, not skin tight or revealing. Everything in this room
was his, even the television. He turned, walked past Heero, and hugged his
mother.

�� Thank you,� he said breathlessly, �no one�s ever been this
king to me before.�

�� Name rubbed her cheek against his hair, letting a few
overwhelmed tears escape, and hugged him tightly.

�� You don�t have to thank me for this. Just be happy, ok,
Duo?�

�� He nodded.

�� I am,� he murmured.

�� You should take a nap,� she said releasing him, feeling a
little bit embarrassed about her emotion, but Duo�s desperate need for
affection soothed it over.

�� Duo felt weary and hollow and retreated to the bathroom
with a pain or pajama t-shirt and boxers that he dug out of one of the drawers.
He took a look around the bathroom ad felt warm. He liked it in here, though he
didn�t know if it was because of the sweet smelling soap, the lock on the door,
or the brightly colored fish on the walls. He quickly left the bathroom and
slipped into bed. He was used to any normal ritual, so when Name closed the
shades with an air of that sort of ritual, he felt odd, good, but odd, as
though he should have done it himself. The bed was achingly soft and
comfortable in comparison to all the other beds he had slept and fucked in and
he barely had enough time to snuggle into the pillows before sleep started to
hit him like a rainfall of bricks. With a gentle smile on her face, Name pulled
up the covers.

�� Night, sweetie. I�ll wake you for
dinner, ok?�

�� Duo nodded, meeting Heero�s eyes.

�� Thank you,� he repeated, his tired eyes slipping shut.

�� Good night, Duo,: Heero murmured
and left the room as silently as he could.

�� Heero briefly looked back as he closed the door, a bit
worried at Duo�s shell shocked behavior.

�� Heero, he�ll be fine,, he just
needs time to adjust to everything,� Name assured him.

�� He was doing so much better yesterday, but now he�s so tired
again.�

�� His mother sighed.

�� He just went through a huge change of scenery, Heero. He
just got released from the hospital, he needs a little
time to regain his footing.�

�� Heero ran a hand through his hair.

�� I know that, I�m just� worried. It�s all too much too fast
for hi and that thing with the painting� this isn�t the first time that he�s
forgotten something.�

�� Well, with how much that man beat him, I�m not surprised
he�s having memory problems, Heero, but it doesn�t seem to happen all that
often,� she pint ed out. Heero nodded and she gave him a piercing look.

�� Don�t you have homework?�

�� Mom!� Heero whined.

�� You�re going to school tomorrow, Heero, that�s final.
Duo�s not going anywhere.�

�� Fine,� he grumbled, but quietly walked to his room.

�� Heero finished his homework before dinner and woke Duo up.
It was just a simple meal of grilled salmon, onion soup, and rice pilaf since
Duo�s doctor had advised against rich food at first. Duo was still tired and
out of it and he was so glad just to be eating real food and not microwave
pre-prepared hospital food that he ate everything in front of him before slinking
back to bed like a cat.

�� It wasn�t what Heero had thought, the first night of having
Duo with them. He realized that Duo�s progress in the hospital had made him
think that his friend was all better, but he knew now that that was far from
the truth. Duo could walk without a limp, but he was emotionally unstable,
which, in Heero�s view, he had every right to be at this point in his life, and
his stamina was almost nonexistent. He was glad to have him here and safe,
regardless of his mental and physical health and he supposed that it was a good
sign that he was sleeping so deeply. He�d rather have him sleep a lot than not
a t all. With a sigh, he went to his room. After an entire week spending almost
every second by Duo�s side, it felt weird and wrong to be away from him. He had
the strong desire to sit by Duos bedside and watch him sleep, but didn�t want
to risk waking him over something so small. He had gone through a lot of
emotional shock today and needed to rest. He realized that tomorrow would be
his first day back at school in a week. He hadn�t even touched his car since
the night he had picked Duo up. His mother had brought it hoe, but it was his
car and his responsibility, so he would probably have to check the tank before
he took it tomorrow and make sure his negligence hadn�t created any problems.
If he got everything ready for school tonight, he could spend more time with
Duo tomorrow morning. He wanted to let him sleep, but knew that Duo would want
to say goodbye when he left for school. He was unsure about leaving him all
alone in the house tomorrow, but knew that his mother was right, he had to go
back to school at some point and Duo was safer at the house than any other
place on the planet. With how tired he was, he would probably just nap most of
the ay and he had things to keep himself occupied. Being alone in the house
would give him the space to feel comfortable and get used to his new home. If
there was a problem, he could always
call his mother. Of course, this was Duo he was talking about and he would
probably hesitate before asking anyone for help. He shook his head and shoved
his books into his bag. Duo would be fine. Though he was still recovering, he
could take care of himself, as much as Heero would miss taking care of him, he
was glad for that.

�� The silver Lamborghini was sitting in its spot in the
garage, looking forlorn and abandoned. She looked clean and well taken care of,
but he still opened the driver�s side door to check the gas.

�� Heero jerked back and stumbled away from the car in
disgusted shock. Bile rose in his throat as that night came back in harsh
flashes. He wrapped his arms around himself. It was so cold� The blood was
still there, a dried puddle on the seat, the windshield splattered with it, and
flecks of it on the passenger side window. Heero tore his eyes away from the
gruesome scene. He had completely forgotten about the blood. The car had sat in
the garage for a week, stained in his best friend�s blood. He had forgotten�
his mother had driven this car home and had seen evidence of his failure, of
his greatest mistake. Duo had almost died because of him� He shuddered,
crawling into the driver�s seat, and, with tentative fingers, touched the blood
on the windshield. This was Duo�s blood� e drew his hand away in a flinch. The
blood was completely dry, but he could see blood on his fingers. He knew that
it wasn�t really there, but he could feel it on his skin, hot and wet. He
uselessly wiped his hands on his pants and sat there, staring into space. He
felt so lost. He felt sick. Looking at the blood made him feel ill. He should
just get rid of it, right? That was the sensible thing to do. But� something
was holding him back. The blood was proof of Duo�s existence. Destroying it
would be like destroying Duo. A thought like that was stupid, of course, Duo
was alive and he didn�t need a silly blood stain to see that, but the feeling
was still strong, a strange fear of washing the blood away. It also served a
reminder of his colossal screw up, of the fact that he had let his anger almost
kill Duo. He rubbed at his eyes and got out of the car to grab some cleaner
from under the kitchen sink. This was his car and he would have to use it to
drive Duo around. How he felt about the blood stain was pointless. His feelings
for Duo�s shadow were nothing compared to his feelings for the real thing.

�� Duo awoke feeling like he had slept longer and better than
he ever had in his entire life. The house was blissfully quiet in comparison to
the apartment which had been sandwiched between a Chinese restaurant and busy
street while the Yuy house was on a secluded street closer to the woods than
the highway. Name had really thought of everything and there was a decorative
orb on the desk that gave off a soft, homey glow, destroying the total darkness.
The lamp light from the street had a similar effect, not right enough to keep
him awake, but there was enough light to keep him from having a panic attack.
The bed was amazingly comfortable and he felt like he could stay there for the
rest of the week and be perfectly happy to do so. The room was larger than the
hospital room and his room in the apartment, so though he woke up with a
heavily sleep-muddled brain and a bit confused as to where he was, he was sure
that it was some place different. The events of yesterday came to him rather
quickly, though, and he looked around the room. His eyes fell on the TV and
bookshelves and he felt a pang of guilt. He didn�t want to think about how much
all of this had cost Name. Not as much as his bills cost, probably, but that
was different. He had never really owned anything besides his clothes, he had
never been able to afford anything and he hadn�t been allowed to watch Wes� TV.
All of his experience with games and movies was from the time he had slept over
with Heero. He didn�t feel like he deserved any of it, but would Name be upset
if he told her to take it back? And if he didn�t use it, it would be such a
waste� he burrowed deep into the covers, almost purring with how cozy he felt.
He was still tired and shaky, but not quite so overwhelmed. He was going to be
living with Name and Heero for as long as fate allowed and his fractured mind
was finally starting to accept that. It was six in the morning and he knew that
he should get up since he had done nothing but sleep yesterday, but he felt too
comfortable to move without a very good reason. His eyes closed again, but he
didn�t fall back to sleep.

�� A few minutes later, he opened his eyes at the sound of
someone knocking on the door.

�� Duo, can I come in?� he heard Heero call.

�� Yeah!�

�� Heero came into the room, already dressed for school, and
smirked as he saw Duo curled up on his side, the covers up to his chin.

�� Comfy?� he teased. Duo nodded.

�� This is really my room?� the longhaired boy asked.

�� Of course,� Heero said and his heart melted as he noticed
how cute and kittenish Duo looked, his large violet eyes peaking over the
covers at him. The urge to lean over and kiss him was incredibly strong, but
its power scared him. He fought against it and managed to just smile at his
friend.

�� I have to go to school in a little while. If you want,
mom�s making breakfast, or you can just go back to sleep,� he offered.

�� I want to eat with you two!� Duo exclaimed and tossed the
covers off of him. Heero blushed as he was treated to the sight of Duo�s long,
pale legs.

�� I�ll be by myself today?� Duo asked.

�� Yeah, just until mom gets back from work and I�ll be home
at two-thirty,� Heero assured him. �Are you feeling better?�

�� Duo nodded.

�� I�m sorry for the way I acted yesterday.�

�� It�s fine,� Heero said, �you�re
entitled to act human from time to time, Duo.�

�� Duo blushed.

�� You can do whatever you want when we�re gone. This is your
home now, too,� Heero reminded him. Duo was shocked into silence. He kept
forgetting that he wasn�t just a guest anymore. This was his home and he could
go exploring if he wanted. He had expected to just stay in this room while they
were gone, and he probably would, but just that he could go anywhere he wanted without having to ask anyone�s
permission was really something. Despite himself, a bright smile grew on his
face as the truth finally dawned on him. He was a part of Heero�s life now.
They would see each other day and night, share meals, and hang out together. He
wondered, despite all attempts to stop the thought, what Wes was doing right
now and what he would think and do if he knew where he was and what was
happening. With Heero so close to him, banishing the thoughts was much easier
man he had thought it would be.

�� I�ll be down in a few minutes,� he told Heero. The blue
eyed boy nodded and left him to get dressed. Duo knew that he could get away
with going downstairs in his pajamas, especially after being seen in his
hospital gown for a week, but it just didn�t feel right to him. He, however,
didn�t make his bed as he planned on slipping back into it after Name and Heero
had left. He felt a small pang of strange guilt at being so lazy and
unproductive. Wes never would have stood for it and he wasn�t used to having such
a long stretch of time with no orders and nothing to do. At the same time that
it bothered him it was also kind of nice. When he had been living with Wes,
which was such an odd thing to think of as past tense, there had always been
something he needed to do or he was so exhausted he couldn�t do anything but
sleep. He wondered what he was going to do now, what the future would hold. He
couldn�t go to school and he didn�t think that Name would approve of him
sitting in the house all day. She had told him to make something of his lie,
but how was he supposed to do that? Right now, he couldn�t bear to leave the
house. There was this odd darkness inside him, a sort of hysteria, and it
boiled at the thought of leaving his shell.

�� Good morning, Duo, are you feeling better?� Name greeted
as he stepped in to the kitchen, already fixing a breakfast for Heero and him.
He nodded.

�� Morning, Name. I don�t feel so tired today.�

�� Name smiled at that and handed him a plate filled with
bacon, waffles, and strawberries.

�� I�m glad to hear that. Now, let�s have a nice breakfast
before Heero goes to school and I have to go to work. If this is too rich for
your stomach, tell me and I�ll make you something else, ok?�

�� Duo blushed, but nodded and sat down next to Heero still
not used to the special treatment. Heero and Duo ate in friendly silence as
Name made scrambled eggs for herself and sat down with them. Duo�s stomach
still wasn�t accustomed to the rich waffles and bacon, but it tasted good and
he ate it anyway, drinking three glasses of skin milk like a man dying of
thirst. Heero and Name shared a look at Duo�s clear exuberance for the
beverage, but didn�t say anything. Name made a mental note to buy more on her
way home, they would need it if this was going to be a
regular thing.

�� I should be back around noon,� she told Duo, �and Heero
will be back at two-thirty. Are you sure you�ll be ok here all by yourself?�

�� Yeah,� Duo assured her, �it�s only a few hours and it�s
been awhile since I�ve been here. It�ll be nice.�

�� Name and Heero�s worries mostly abated, the three of them
finished breakfast. Duo tried to help Name do the dishes, but she threatened to
hit him with a broom if he didn�t spend some time with Heero. The two boys went
back upstairs to Duo�s room where Heero spent the rest of the half hour he had
before he had to leave for school showing Duo how the TV and various game
systems worked and they played a racing game for a few minutes, which ended in
a tie, each of them winning one round.

�� Heero, school!� Name yelled from
downstairs as Heero and Duo were shutting down the game.

�� Coming!� he called as he ran to his room to grab his back
pack. Duo followed him downstairs, feeling like a puppy trying to follow his
master wherever he went, but as much as he was looking forward to the first
moments to himself for a very long time, he also really didn�t want Heero to
leave, even if it was just for a few hours.

�� Duo watched Heero drive off with fear squeezing his heart.
After everything, he was scared of losing the only good thing that ha stayed
with him. He knew that Heero would be back, but his sudden, abrupt absence
scared him. Name put a comforting hand on his shoulder and squeezed lightly.

�� My cell phone number is on the kitchen table. If you need
anything, no matter how small, I want you to call me, ok?�

�� Duo nodded.

�� I will.�

�� She smiled softly at him and left in her own car. Duo took
a deep breath and closed the front door, locking it, something he had never
done before, but he was amazed at the level of security it gave him. He glanced
at the security system, pondering turning it on. Name said that he could if he
wished, but didn�t have to. Still, he felt safer in this house than he had ever
been in his entire life and that feeling of �safe� was quickly becoming
addicting. He punched in the code and walked away from the door to the hallway.
His bare feet felt comfortable on the plush rug and he continued to walk,
exploring a little. In the hallway was the laundry room, which was actually
quite small and normal looking compared to the rest of
the house smelled pleasantly of lavender detergent. He passed by the stairs and
the kitchen. The kitchen was quite large, the floor made of smooth slate that
felt soft and cool, the counters made of shimmering black quartz with chips of white
and silver. There was the tall, silver refrigerator, the white sink, and dark
brown, mahogany cabinets and the pantry that was large enough to live in. The
kitchen table itself was wood since Name had once told him that she disliked
glass table tops since they had to be constantly cleaned. Various house plants
had been placed around the house and at the thought of helping to take care of
them, he felt a sharp pang of loss towards his own non-human family. He had
only spent a couple of weekends here, but he knew this house well, he knew each
guest room, the large family room with its huge TV and entertainment center,
the red couch and blue armchair that was so comfortable to sit in, it was more
like a bed than a chair. He knew that Name�s bedroom was on the first floor and
its door would be closed, just like all the other times. He wouldn�t go in
there, even if she had told him that he could go anywhere in the house. It
seemed wrong to do so, like an invasion. Duo knew that, past all of the guest
rooms and the large, opulent dining room that he was too intimidated by to
venture into, the hallway would curve and end at the cellar door, a stair case
leading down to the basement which was the size of three guest rooms and Duo
thought of as a sort of cave, dark, but safe and inviting.

�� Despite his pointless wonderings, Duo ended up in his
bedroom after a few minutes. He made a beeline for the bed, slipping back under
the covers and snuggling against the pillows. Warmth covered his body and he
closed his eyes. He let his stress leave him for a moment, just feeling the
softness of the linen and how relaxing it was to simply lay down with nothing
that needed to be done and no hurts that needed to be dealt with. He lay still
for an hour, opening his eyes lazily at the clock, telling him that it was
7:45. He rolled over on his side and grabbed the remote on the bedside table,
turning the TV on. He rearranged the pillows so he could sit up and watch. He
flipped through the channels; past talk shows that made him roll his eyes at
the utter fakeness of it all and
paused on a cartoon. As a child, he had heard of cartoons, but he had never
seen one. It was juvenile and obvious and, he thought, pretty mindless at
parts, but there was something entertaining in the bright colors and
high-pitched voices. He watched the early morning cartoons until nine, then rolled out of bed. In only a coupled of hours, he felt
more normal than he had in his entire life. Sleeping in, watching TV, eating a
home cooked meal, they were such small, simple things, but until now, he had
never indulged in them like that. He stripped off his clothes and retreated to
the bathroom to take a shower. He lounged in the hot water for another
forty-five minutes, even though there was a small stab of guilt inside of him
for using so much water, washing his hair and body thoroughly before stepping
out. He combed his hair and braided it, ignoring the sudden impulse to just
leave it loose since there was no one around to see him. He hated how
unconcerned he felt, walking around naked in a strange room, but he had done it
so many times before that it didn�t really bother him like it should. He put
the sweat pants and shirt back on and stood in the middle of his room.

�� It was quiet. This room, this house, everything was still
and silent. There was no one here but himself and the beating of his own heart,
which was now beating faster and faster as he realized just how alone he was.

�� Duo�s eyes stared
into darkness. He couldn�t close them, his body was no longer his own. Was he
still breathing? He couldn�t tell, how could you know
your own heart was breathing? It was so dark, the shadows pressing down on him
like a vice. He just wanted to close his eyes and feel his heart beat, just for
a minute. The bed dipped and heavy hands spread his legs wide, rearranging his
limbs like a child would do with a lifeless doll, Duo�s eyes staring flatly,
sightlessly in the dark. The man�s weight pressed down on him, but Duo�s thin
body didn�t even flinch as it was roughly penetrated, though inside he was
screaming and desperately trying to escape the silence.

�� His heart raced and Duo gasped for breath,
hyperventilating. It was quiet, just like before, there was no one here, no one
to keep the darkness away and soon, the pain would start and he wouldn�t be
able to even scream. He stumbled out of the room, his hand feeling blindly at
the wall. It was so cold� A hand gripped at his shoulder and he gave out a
choked cry, fighting the phantom off. His chest as tight, he couldn�t get enough
air into his spasming lungs. He needed shelter� he
needed to breathe�

�� His shaky legs brought him to Heero�s room and he became
weak, crashing into the floor. He curled up on the floor, his numb fingers
grabbing at a discarded night shirt and he clutched it to his chest. In and
out� he tried to get more air. There was more of it in here. Heero�s smell� it
was strong in here and it filled him with strength. The pressure started to
lessen around his heart and sweet air filled his lungs. He burrowed his face into
the shirt. He wasn�t alone, right? Heero would come home and then he would see,
the shadows wouldn�t come, he just had to get a hold of himself.

�� Minutes passed and Duo finally had enough feeling left in
his body to crawl over to Heero�s bed, leaning against it, still holding his
shirt. He felt so alone, but being here among Heero�s things made him feel
better. A strained laugh filled the room. A couple of hours alone and he was shaking. How the hell was he supposed to survive this
way? He had been alone for as long as he could remember, living in alley corners
with only the rats to keep him company. He had survived so much, how could a
few weeks chained to a bed bring him down so quickly? He wrapped his arms
around his knees, Heero�s shirt in his lap. He laughed, unable to stop until it
finally dissolved into tears. He was broken, truly broken. After all of this
time, his mind had finally snapped. The darkness, the loneliness, the silence�
all of that pain� it had broken him so damn quickly� how could he fight against
this? Tat was all that he knew, fighting until he
could no longer stand, but he didn�t know how anymore, he just couldn�t� he
didn�t have the will to fight anymore. The only thing that was keeping the
worst of his demons at bay was this house and the security it had always
provided, even in his worst moments. As long ash e was here, the shadows
wouldn�t come�

�� The sharp sound of the doorbell made Duo�s head shoot up.
He looked over at Heero�s clock. 10:36 A.M. Name would be home in little over
an hour and he couldn�t think of anyone who would be stopping by. Maybe it was
Quatre or Trowa, but that didn�t seem likely. Heero had told him that Quatre
had thought the idea of going to school with him and Trowa was exciting. Even
if they weren�t at school today with Heero, Name had told them to give Duo his
space for a few days. In the meantime, they were staying at a hotel. Duo hated
to admit it, but the fewer people crowding him right now, the better. He needed
Name and Heero by his side in order to cope, but being coddled by his other two
friends would be too overwhelming. In a neighborhood like this, he was sure
that it wasn�t some kind of solicitor. The bell rang again and Duo stood to his
feet, dropping Heero�s shirt. His heart pounded in excitement at the thought of
talking to another human being, but his chest tightened in fear, too. He wasn�t
quite sure what desire made him go down the stairs and open the door, his need
for human touch or his need to know that he was safe, but he stopped by the
kitchen first, grabbing a knife, just in case. There were still only a handful
of people he felt he could trust and he didn�t think that his fear of people
was ever going to go away. He opened the door and looked up into Treize�s light
blue eyes.

�� Hello, Duo,� the man greeted with a soft smile, �can I
come in?�

��

�� Duo stared up at his ex-principal in shock. He couldn�t
figure out why he was here, especially during school hours. His grip tightened
on the knife handle. His first impulse was to slam the door in the man�s face
and call Name. He wasn�t supposed to be here! In all of the scenarios he had
run in his head, he had never once thought that anyone from school would come
looking for him. Treize patiently waited for the shock to leave Duo�s eyes. Duo
nodded.

�� Ok, come in.�

��

�� Duo couldn�t help but feel that it wasn�t quite his place
to invite Treize into the house, but his remaining respect for the man�s
authority led him into the kitchen. Treize sat at ht table, watching Duo as he
remained standing and leaned against the kitchen counter, putting down the
knife.

�� Can I get you a coffee or tea, Mr. Khushrenada?� Duo
asked, playing the host. He had to remind himself that Treize didn�t know a
thing, but when his light blue eyes met his, he felt like the man could see
right through him.

�� No, I�m fine. Sit down, Duo, we need to have a talk,�
Treize ordered. Duo paled, realizing the trouble he was in. If Treize reported
him to the police, he would be taken away. He sat at the table, fiddling with
the hem of his shirt.

�� How did you know I would be here?� he asked. Despite the
fact that they were sitting in the Yuy�s kitchen, Duo felt like they were in
Khushrenada�s office and he was about to be scolded. Treize gave a small grin.

�� Heero may be tight lipped, but you friend, Chang, is not
and though he never admitted anything to me, news of where you are staying has
traveled fast.�

�� Duo swore internally. He vowed that he was going to punch
Wufei in the stomach the next time that he saw him.

�� Well, you�ve asked a question, so now it�s my turn. Where
have you been for a month, Duo? I told you that I would have to expel you if
you missed anymore classes and I hope that you had a very good reason for
throwing your education away,� Treize said, watching Duo like a hawk with a
fish. Duo looked away. Already his mind was working over time, trying to come
up with a feasible lie. He thought about telling Treize that he had run away
from home and the Yuy�s had taken him in, not the best lie, but it was all he
could come up with under Treize�s unrelenting stare. However, it was Heero�s
voice that stopped him from saying it.

�� Is it so wrong that
I want the best for you?�

�� With a sigh, Duo rubbed at his eyes. Treize lost his stern
look as weariness swept over the youth�s face. He had always been vulnerable to
this particular boy�s suffering. He just looked so vulnerable,
no human should ever look like that.

�� I�m really, really sorry, sir,� Duo said solemnly, �but
I�ve been lying to you. I know that you�ve been trying to contact my father,
but the truth is, you�ll never be able to reach him.�

�� Treize stayed silent, allowing the boy to talk. He realized
that, after all of this time, all of this wondering, he was finally going to
know what was going on in the Maxwell household and, maybe, he would finally
learn what it was about him that bothered him so much.

�� Everything about me that you think you know is a lie,� Duo
admitted, the truth spilling forth like water from a broken faucet, �my
address, my phone number, even my father, none of it�s real. The person you�re trying to reach is just some guy that
picked me off the street when I was seven. Yeah, he�s the closest thing to a
father I�ve ever had, but he isn�t my
dad. My first memories are of the streets. That�s where I was
�born� and where I lived the first half of my life. I don�t remember my
parents, my real age or name. I call myself Duo because that was the first thin
I could read and say, I just got it off of a discarded scarp of newspaper. I
was all alone back then, until I met my �guardian�, but his name is Wes, not
whatever it says in my file. He took me off the streets and brought me to his
home. He said that he would give me food and shelter if I did something for
him. I agreed, but it was a lie. He raped me, turned me into a whore. He gave
me enough food to keep me from starving, and let me stay in his apartment so I
wouldn�t freeze, but it was never free. I let him rape me for years for the
scarps that he gave me. And when I was old enough, I begged him to let me go to
school. It cost me a lot of pain and humiliation, but he eventually agreed, but
he told me that if school ever got in the way, I wouldn�t be going anymore, he
would chain me to a bed, keep me drugged, and let men fuck me for the rest of
my life. I worked really hared and I got into high school. It was all I had and
though I knew that I could never have better in my life, I still wanted an education! It was only when I
was too sick and bleeding to stand that I didn�t come to school. There were
days that I was in so much pain, I thought I would black out, but I still went!
Even being bullied by thugs like Zechs Merquise didn�t deter me from showing
up, but I dealt with that. I let him fuck me, too, because I learned that it
didn�t really matter anymore,� Duo�s words were heated, almost hysterical and
tears dripped down his cheeks, but he didn�t wipe them away, he didn�t want to
draw any attention to them, �I thought that I didn�t care about what happened
to me or my body, but when I met Heero, that changed He was my first real,
normal friend and when he found out about Zechs and me, I ran. And I stayed
away because I was too scared to face him. I thought I could handle things, but
I couldn�t. I tried to run away from home, but Wes found me. He did what he had
always told me he would do, he chained me to his bed shot me up with enough
drugs that I couldn�t fight back, and had me raped day
after day. I spent two weeks like that until he decided, for some reason, to
let me go. Heero found me after that. I was sick, probably dying, but he saved
me. I spent the last week in a hospital, thinking that I would end up on the
streets as soon as I was better, but out of the goodness of her heart, Mrs. Yuy
let me stay here as long as I needed a home. I�ve accepted the fact that I can
never go back to school, so I really don�t know what you expect me to do now,�
Duo slumped into his chair, finally wiping at his tears. He looked over at
Treize, feeling some pleasure at his shocked expression. He was probably the
only person to make him look so pale and disturbed. Treize pinched his nose his
eyes looking lost and tired.

�� I�m� very sorry, Duo,� Treize struggled with his words.
Somewhere in the town that he loved and had grown up in, was a man who had
raped a helpless child and no justice had been brought down on his head. Really, there was no justice for something so� wrong.

�� Duo shrugged.

�� It�s not your fault and it�s not a huge problem. At least
I�m not homeless anymore!� he tried to joke, but it fell flat in the silence
and seriousness of the room.

�� Yes, it is a huge problem,� Treize snapped, �it�s wrong. You�re
a bright, incredible person and you deserve better! Out of all the students
I�ve talked to, you deserve a good education the most, because I know, I�ve
always known, that you�ll do great things with it! Have you told the police?�
he demanded, rage boiling in him, building into a storm. Duo shook his head.

�� I�m a minor, so even if Wes got arrested, I�d end up in an
orphanage. I don�t want that to happen� I want to stay here with Name and
Heero!�

�� Treize nodded.

�� I understand,� he looked over at Duo who seemed deeply
troubled with the thought of being separated from his newfound family. He had
the strong urge to hug him and tell him that everything would be all right, even
if it was a lie, but he didn�t feel like he had the right.

�� Do you want to go back to school?� he asked. Duo blinked
at him and Treize felt a stab of pain at the hope in his eyes. He was so used
to kids thinking that they deserved everything the world had to offer like it
was their birth right, but here was someone who thought that they had to fight
to the death for every little thing. Any theories he had had about Duo Maxwell
was nothing compared to the dark truth. All of those horrible, disgusting
things, and they had happened to someone so smart and eager to learn, it made
him sick. If there was any student he respected, it was this child.

�� Yes, I want to go back,� Duo said eagerly. He wanted to go
back so badly, but he knew that that was impossible, wasn�t it? Treize stood.

�� If it was up to me, you would go to school tomorrow. It
isn�t fair to punish you further. That it�s the new semester doesn�t help, but
your case is a lot different from a simple hooky or even mono. I�ll have to
talk to the school board. We�ve never had anything like this before, but it
shouldn�t be hard making the rest of them sympathetic. Unless you have qualms
about my telling them about what happened to you. We�ll all be bound by privacy
agreements and I will only tell them the bare facts, but if you�re
uncomfortable with it, I�m sure there�s something else I can do to help you.�

�� Duo felt tears prick his eyes at hearing the lengths that
the man was willing to go for him, but he refused to let them fall. It had been
hard telling Treize the truth, harder than telling Heero and Name. He didn�t
know if that was because he wasn�t drugged this time or that he wasn�t as
comfortable around Treize, but it had only been Heero�s concern for his needs
that had forced to tell the truth. He wanted to go back to school, but was he
willing to have stranger know the truth? In the end, he supposed that he would
never see those people and compared to never going back to school, just staying
at the house like a fugitive or wounded animal, it was such a small thing.

�� You can tell them,� Duo said, �I want to go back, so I�m
willing to do what I have to for that to happen.�

�� Treize smiled brightly at him.

�� I wish that half of my students had your attitude.�

�� Duo blushed in embarrassment.

�� I�ll talk to the school board, then, try to get them to
see things my way.�

�� Duo shook his hand.

�� Thank you, Mr. Khushrenada.�

�� Treize grinned.

�� There�s no need, Mr. Maxwell, I�m just glad to be able to
do my job. I�ll let you know what the answer is by the weekend, I promise. I�ll
let you go back to whatever you were doing.�

�� Duo showed the tall man out, his thoughts whirling in his
head. Any sense of loneliness or hysteria was temporarily side tracked by the
hope and excitement that was starting to bloom inside of him.

�� When Name came home at noon, Duo was still in the kitchen,
thinking over what had just happened. She smiled as she saw him, glad that
nothing had gone wrong enough for him to call her.

�� Hi, Duo.�

�� He smiled back at her.

�� How was the meeting?�

�� She sighed dramatically.

�� Oh, I won�t bore you with the tiresome details of the
business world. Suffice to say that it was a right pain in the ass.�

�� Duo choked on his laughter at her dry humor. It was weird
hearing her swear, but also pretty amusing.

�� So, how was your day?�
she asked, �Did you have fun?�

�� Duo bit his lip, wondering if he should tell her about
Treize�s visit. Would she be mad if he told her that he had let Treize in the
house and that he had told him the truth? Name had told him to treat the house
like it was his own and it was his truth to tell, but if there were any unspoken
boundaries he certainly didn�t want to be stepping over them any time soon.

�� Well, I didn�t do much, just relaxed and walked around
mostly,� he told her.

�� I�m glad,� she said with a smile, �the more you relax, the
quicker your strength will come back to you. Heero will probably want to take
you to the movies this weekend if you feel up to it.�

�� At the mention of Heero and the hope of some sort of
outing, Duo found his courage.

�� Mr. Khushrenada came to the house today, just a few hours
ago.�

�� Name raised an eyebrow at that fact and Duo felt the
temperature drop a few degrees.

�� Did he now?� she asked coldly. Duo
nodded, fear gripping his heart.

�� He knew that I was here and wanted to know where I�ve
been.�

�� The gall of that man!� Name said
in a low hiss, �He had no right to come here and confront you like that! He
should have just called me if he had any questions!�

�� Duo stared at her as he realized that she was mad at Treize
and not him.

�� I told him the truth,� he admitted, waiting for Name to
explode, but she didn�t. Her eyes just widened and she looked confused.

�� I�ve been lying to him for years. It just felt like the
right thing to do. I thought that there might be a way for me to go back there.
I know it�s unlikely, but it was just a chance.�

�� She nodded.

�� It�s your secret, Duo, and it�s your choice who you tell, not
mine,� she said kindly.

�� Then you�re not mad?� Duo asked, peeking underneath his long
bangs. She smiled and ruffled his hair.

�� Or course not! It takes a lot to make me mad. You didn�t
crash a car or set anything on fire, did you?� she teased. Duo shook his head.

�� I was a good boy,� he said in good humor.

�� I�m glad. It�s more than Heero can normally say to me when
I leave him alone for a few hours.�

�� Shocked laughter escaped from Duo and Name looked at him
fondly. It was a nice laugh and it made her sad to know that he didn�t do it
often.

�� He�s really that bad?� he asked, wondering what Heero had
been like as a child and the sort of stories that Name could tell about him.

�� One day when Heero was twelve, I let him alone for only an
hour! When I came back, he had taken all of his army men and melted them in the
oven to see what global warming would do.�

�� Duo burst into laughter, making Name smirk at their mutual
amusement at Heero�s antics.

�� So, what did Treize say when you told him?�

�� Duo quickly sobered, but kept the image of a young Heero
melting his plastic toys in his mother�s oven close to his heart.

�� He said that he would talk to the school board and see if
I can go back to school.�

�� Name�s grin grew.

�� That�s great news!� she exclaimed.

�� Yeah, it would be nice to go back to school with Heero,
but it�s already a new semester and I�ve missed so much,� Duo said worriedly.
Name brushed his concerns off.

�� I�m sure that you�ll be able to make it up and Treize
Khushrenada strikes me as the sort of man who won�t give up easily. If it
proves to be a problem, I can always throw my weight around,� she assured him.

�� Thank you,� he whispered, �you don�t have to try so hard,
but thank you.�

�� Name patted his shoulder.

�� It�s no trouble, Duo. I have the power to help you and you
should want to use whatever you can to get what you need and want. Now, I have to go to Boston tomorrow and Heero has to stay late
for a science project, so no one will be here until four. Is that ok with you?
I can bring you to Boston
with me if you like,� she offered. Duo shook his head. There was a pang of
worry at the thought of being alone again, and having another panic attack, but
he knew that being clingy wasn�t going to solve anything.

�� It�s fine. I was actually going to ask Heero if I could borrow
one of his textbooks. Even if I can�t go back to school, it doesn�t mean I
can�t try to educate myself, right?�

�� Duo was pulled into a tight hug.

�� I am so proud of you,� Name whispered, making Duo blush
again, �I just want you to know that.�

�� She let him go, pretending that she hadn�t seen how
embarrassed he was at her praise.

�� Now, what would you like for dinner?�

�� Heero was a little bit more upset than his mother when he
heard that his principal had paid Duo a visit, but he was just as excited when
he heard that Treize would try to do what he could to get Duo back on track. He
felt a bit of anger at hearing that Wufei was talking about Duo living with
him, but since it had ended with Treize helping Duo out, he decided to let it
go. He agreed to lend Duo his biology text book, but felt worried that he would
be by himself for s long the next day. It didn�t appear that anything bad had
happened today, but Duo was too good at hiding and Heero couldn�t help but be
concerned. Physically, Duo seemed more stable than he had been yesterday and
the two of them spent their night playing video games and watching TV in
Heero�s room and chatting about their days before retiring to their respective
rooms. Despite his panic attack, Duo went to sleep feeling happy and content.

�� Despite his resolve to try to get around his recent mental
problems surrounding solitude and darkness, Duo knew that it would be just
stupid trying to poke at the bear, so he spent most of the next day in Heero�s
room, using his scent to keep the hysteria at bay. Name and Heero had let him
sleep in, simply leaving him a note on his door telling him to keep it easy.
Duo thought he would start crying as Name had written �love, Name�, at the
bottom, but barely contained himself. After reading the note, he immediately
took a shower and went to Heero�s room. He had snorted, noting how Heero hadn�t
made his bed or cleaned his room. He had read the textbook for a few hours,
then watched TV and played games. He had tried to watch the early morning news,
but found that he had no idea what anyone was talking about in pop news or
political news. He had been out of the loop for too long, stuck in his own
personal hell, to bother keeping track of the things outside of his pain. He
discovered that he rather liked crime dramas, though, and there were quit a few
of the on TV. Heero also had a few mystery novels on his book shelves and he
managed to get through one of them by the time Name came home. He heard the
door open downstairs and realized that he had gotten through the day without a
panic attack. It was a small victory as he was not foolish enough to think that
he had found a cure, so much as a security blanket that was a reminder of
Heero�s presence. He got slowly to his feet, feeling weak and scattered, a
headache pounding in his skull, which he all attributed to his still-healing
body. Name was in the kitchen, unpacking groceries, and he helped her put
things away.

�� Did you get much done today?� she asked as he gathered
some ingredients for pasta for dinner. He nodded.

�� I read a bit. It was nice. I�ve never gotten to do that
except for homework,� he told her. She smiled at him.

�� Well, I�m glad you�re not bored. Once you get better, you
can go outside. Maybe you can get involved with sports or something� she looked
at him, suddenly frowning.

�� Duo blinked in confusion as Name brushed his bangs away
from his face.

�� Are you ok?� she asked, �you look a little peaked.�

�� I have a headache,� Duo said, �but it�s not too bad,� he
decided not to mention that he felt weak and shaky as well. He hated making her
worry about him and he had felt worse before. He could deal with it with some
Tylenol and sleep.

�� What did you eat today?� Name wondered, �Maybe you just
need to have something with some more iron in it. I know that Dr. Stark gave
you pills for your anemia, but you did have a lot of blood loss and it�s better
to be safe than sorry.�

�� Duo paused, paling further as he went over his day.

�� I� I didn�t eat anything today,� he admitted. Name gave
him a stern look.

�� Duo, you skipped both breakfast and lunch?! You know that you
can�t do that! You�re still malnourished and even if you remember to take your
medication, getting three meals a day is very
important!� she scolded. Duo looked away sheepishly.

�� I�m sorry,� he murmured, �I�m just so used to not eating,
it slipped my mind. I�ve always had to work hard to eat, so I forgot that I
could just take something from the kitchen. I�ve been hungry my entire life,
even if not eating hurts, it�s normal for me, it�s been that way for as long as
I can remember. I�ll try to remember from now on, I promise!� Duo swore,
feeling guilty for the sad look on Name�s face.

�� Oh, Duo,� she murmured, placing a slender hand on his arm,
she managed to smile at him, �You know, I didn�t just go up to Boston to go to a meeting.�

�� Duo gave her a confused look.

�� I spent most of the day signing papers and filing
documents to make sure that, even if I die, you�ll be well taken care of,� she
told him. Duo stared at her with wide eyes, his chest tightening painfully.

�� W-what?� he stammered, unable to process her words, �Why?�

�� For the life of him, Duo couldn�t figure out why Name would
do that for him. He was just her son�s friend, but she had taken him in and now
she had gone a step further. He didn�t deserve that, couldn�t she see that?
Name caressed his cheek with her knuckles, surprising him with the tenderness
in her eyes. His heart pounded with need for affection from her. He had never
been treated this way by any woman, as much as he had always yearned for it.
There had only been one other woman in his life that had ever been kind to him,
but not like this�

�� Duo, for all of my money and prestige, all of the charity
that I�ve done, I�ll be glad if this company can do one act of true good.
You�re the one person that deserves this because you�ve never expected any good
in your life. Everyone deserves at least one chance to do what they can to make
something out of themselves. What they do with that chance is up to them, but
we all do deserve that chance. I�m just doing my responsibility to give that
chance to you. It�s more important than money or power, it�s my company�s
responsibility to help people like you who want to prove themselves, but can�t.
I�d die happily knowing that you will never want for anything again. You�re a
good person, you�ve proven that to me time and time
again.�

�� Duo felt tears running down his cheeks and he shook a
little with the thought of Name dying. She was the only �mother� he had ever
known. She was gentle and kind and she didn�t have to be. That she thought that
he was just as kind meant a lot to him. Very few people cared enough to help a
stranger, especially when it meant that they would get nothing in return. What
would he do without her? If she died� his heart would break. She wasn�t his
mother, but there was something deep down inside of him that wanted her to be.
It had only been two months, but in the time that they had known each other, he
had come to love her as the only adult that truly gave a damn what happened to
him.

�� Name saw the intense storm of emotions in Duo�s eyes and
the tears he was shedding and hugged him tightly.

�� It�s ok,� she murmured, letting her own tears fall, �I�m
going to take care of you, I�ll take care of everything, I promise.�

�� Duo hugged her back and she could feel the desperateness in
his embrace. She stroked his hair.

�� I�m not going to leave you alone, not now, not ever.�

�� Duo felt much better after dinner and felt even more
grateful when Name didn�t tell Heero about their emotional discussion. As Heero
went to his room to finish his homework for the night, Duo and Name sat down
and talked about what she had done. She told him that she had opened a private
bank account for him in case of an emergency and, in the very drastic case of
her death, both he and Heero would be under her cousin�s care and said cousin
had agreed, simply because Name had asked, though she had refused to give him
all of the details out of concern for his privacy. Duo struggled to hide how
her efforts were affecting him, but to Name the boy was like an open book and
she couldn�t help but smile as he left the family room to see what Heero was
doing. She sat back in her chair, immersed in thought. It hadn�t taken a lot of
effort to set everything up for Duo. She had had the thought in her head for
awhile now, but only recently had given it serious thought. She was healthy and
her death prior to Duo or Heero�s twenties was improbable, but the thought of
Duo losing the financial security she had given to him when he was admitted to
the hospital terrified her. She and Heero had fought so hard to find him and
get him well. He was now her responsibility. He had no parents and all he did
have was in this house. The second she had signed for his hospital bills, he
had become her responsibility and she refused to let him down, even for a
second. She realized that this was the first financial decision anyone had ever
made for him and couldn�t help but feel good in knowing that, if the worst
happened, she wouldn�t have to worry about him losing his footing again.

�� Duo felt stronger after getting food in his stomach and his
headache went away, but his body was still very weak compared to what it had
been before Wes had chained him to the bed. Staying on his back for so long had
done damage to his muscles and nutrition, compiled onto the problems he had
already been dealing with, it didn�t look likely he
would be feeling strong any time soon. His body ached constantly and he tired
easily. He knew that a part of it was because of the anemia, which the
medication was helping with, but the continuous abuse and neglect had taken a
permanent hold on him and he worried if he would ever get his strength back. He
leaned against the wall as he stood outside of Heero�s bedroom.

�� He was scared. It wasn�t just because of his body�s
weakness, though that was a part of it. He had always considered his body like
a rubber band, no matter the damage done to it, sooner or later, he would
bounce back, but Stark had told him he would probably never be a hundred
percent better, he would have to strive for ninety percent and right now, that
was as much as he was hopping for, but it was still disconcerting. He knew that
Heero was right, he had never let himself properly heal, always
keeping going when he shouldn�t, but he had needed to just to survive. He hoped
that now he had the chance to let his body rest, it would heal, but he was so
impatient. However, there was something else that was worrying him. He was away
from Wes now, with people that loved and cared about
him, so why was he thinking about the man so much lately? When he was in the
house alone, what Wes was doing and if he was looking for him consumed his
thoughts. Even keeping busy didn�t seem to keep the blonde from invading his
thoughts. He had been with him for so long, had lived and breathed just on Wes�
say so, that it was so hard with him gone. He had woken last night searching
for him on the bed, only to realize that Wes would never be there. He had hurt
him so badly, but he had been his whole world, too. It was because of Wes that
he had been able to go to school and that he had a roof over his head. Little
kids living on the street didn�t last long. Sunshine had proved that to him.
Would he had ended up like him, his rotting body in
some alley somewhere, if Wes hadn�t come along and taken him from that life?
But, the worst question that wouldn�t leave him was if he could even survive
without Wes anymore. He had lived so long relying on Wes� orders, could he
really live without him? Now that he wasn�t so concerned about his injuries and
where he was going to live, those questions became harder to answer and harder
to ignore. What Wes had done to him had broken his mind, had living with him
also broken his free will? He shook his head and went to his own room without
saying good night to Heero. He was tired, physically and mentally. Lately it
seemed that all he wanted to do was sleep his life away, while at the same
time, he was terrified of sleep. He had been asleep for two whole weeks in the
darkness, he was scared that he would go back there and he wouldn�t wake up
this time.

�� That night, Duo tossed and turned in his sleep in his
comfortable bed, unable to settle. Dark thoughts and twisted dreams kept him
from slipping into a deep sleep and he awoke after only a few hours with a
start. Something was wrong, he could feel it in his
veins. He searched with a blind hand for the warm body that he was used to,
looking for Wes� familiar presence, but nothing was there, just him on the bed.
His body yearned for the man�s touch, no matter how painful, it was familiar
and he had come to expect it. His large, rough hands on his skin, it was as
normal as breathing. He wrapped his arms around himself and curled into a ball.
He could understand the withdrawal from drugs, but this physical need for the
touch of a man that had raped and degraded him was plain wrong. He loved his new found freedom, so why couldn�t he accept
it? Wes wasn�t a part of his life anymore and that was a good thing, right, so
why couldn�t he just put the past behind him?

�� Feeling tired right down to his heart, he rolled out of
bed, wincing at how sore his leg muscles felt and walked downstairs. The light
in Heero�s room was off and he was probably already asleep. Duo felt bad that
he hadn�t said good night to him, especially now that sleep was being so
elusive. He crept to the family room. If he wasn�t going to be able to sleep,
he needed something to do and he didn�t want to wake Heero up since he had
school tomorrow. He craved human touch, some sort of contact, even if it wasn�t
Wes�. Name was still in the family room watching TV and she looked up at him as
he entered.

�� Duo, I thought you went to bed, is there something wrong?�
she asked, concerned at the worn expression on his face. Duo�s expression
worsened at her concern. Why couldn�t he be normal, why couldn�t her love for
him be enough? Why did he have to want someone who he hated? Why did he have to
love someone he had wanted to kill for so long?

�� He nodded. Name moved down on the couch and patted the spot
beside her. He sat down next to her, feeling odd, but warm when she put her
hand on his.

�� What�s the matter?� she asked softly, �Did you have bad
dreams?�

�� He shook his head.

�� I can�t sleep,� he said, �I can�t stop thinking about
Wes.�

�� Name blinked.

�� You mean what he did to you?�

�� No� just� him. I wonder if he�s
looking for me or if he�s ok.�

�� Name frowned.

�� He did so much for me. He gave me a place to live and a
purpose. It hurt and I hated him for how he hurt me, but I love him, too. I
don�t think that I can survive without him. How can I? It�s because of him that
I�m here. If it weren�t for him, I never would have met you or Heero. How can I
just abandon the man that was the only parent I�ve ever had? I�m nothing
without him! What have I accomplished on my own?! I was just a useless street
rat, barely alive, until he came along. I can�t do anything without him!�

�� Name shook her head, rage filling her at his words. Wes had
hurt him more than Duo realized, making him rely on him and destroying his
confidence. She wasn�t a psychologist and she had no idea how much damage the
long term abuse had caused Duo, but she immediately hated the man for the pain
he was causing him right now. She squeezed his hand.

�� Duo, it�s not sick. I know that Wes was all you had for a
very long time and he was the only source of affection for you, but Wes wasn�t
the one who got good grades or learned how to read on his own,� she entwined
her fingers with his, �I have faith in you,� she smiled, �I know you can
survive on your own because that�s what you were doing all those years that you
lived with him. You survived his abuse all this time, without his help, you�re
strong, Duo.�

�� Duo smiled back at her, though it was a little weak at
first. Name believed in him? He didn�t think that anyone had told him that
before. How could he survive a need for a man that had abused him? Still, he
knew at some level that she was right. The worst that he had ever been through
was because of Wes, but he had survived it all. It had broken him down, but he
was still here. He had learned to read and gotten to high school without any
help from Wes. Did that mean that he could survive this as well? Even if he
couldn�t, he had to try, because for the first time in his life, there were
people that wanted him to succeed. That was something that Wes had never given
him.

�� In the back of his mind, feeling Name�s warmth next to him,
Duo felt a pang of worry for his cats. He was warm and safe and with friends,
but all they had was each other and it was getting cold out. He had called
himself their friend and caretaker, but he had just left them to fend for
themselves! They were his family, the one thing that had kept him going when he
was little and he thought that he was going insane, he had to know if they were
ok�

�� You ok to go to sleep?� Name asked. Duo nodded and hugged
her. Her smile grew in pleasant surprised.

�� Thank you, Name,� he murmured. She kissed the top of his
head.

�� Any time, Duo, now go to sleep, ok?�

�� Duo nodded and left for the stairs, feeling just a little bit
better. He hoped that it was enough for him to sleep.

��

�� The shadows were
moving over his open eyes like living things, forming shapes and things that
filled his heart with fear. He could feel him next to him, his clothed leg
lightly touching his own bare one. He could feel it at the same time that he
couldn�t. He floated through the darkness, but Wes was there with him. He heard
a sharp click of the blonde man playing with his lighter the sparks lit up the
room briefly. The walls were water stained brown wallpaper and the bedside
table held a water glass and syringe. It was time for his next dose, he
realized with in shock. He thrashed inside of his mind, a headache starting to
rip through his brain. The darkness filled the room again, like a tidal wave
covering over the white sand of the beach. The lighter clicked again and Duo�s
open, staring eyes could see the hard wood floor, the shadows forming claws and
snarling faces before the small space was submerged in darkness once more. The
room breathed like a living thing and Duo knew he would never leave its bowels.
Large, rough hands rolled his head to the side and there was another click, he
could see the mirror on the side and wanted to cry at the sight of his worn,
dying body, covered in semen and blood, pale like a ghost, his eyes like a
doll�s, but he couldn�t even cry. Wes pressed his forehead against his and Duo
almost sobbed in happiness at the soft touch of skin on skin that didn�t have
pain attached to it.

�� I love
you,� the soft words rang through the room, followed by a horrible pain as the
needle sunk into the back of his neck.

�� Duo woke up screaming, but clamped a hand to his mouth to
keep from waking anyone. He panted, his heart pounding, his neck searing with
phantom pain.

�� Shit, shit, shit,� he swore frantically, untangling the
sheets from his legs. It was fine, he told himself, he wasn�t in pain, he
wasn�t dirty or sick, he was home, it was fine� Bile
rose in his throat. There were shadows here, he needed
light, no shadows�

�� He stumbled into the hall and walked shakily down the
steps, pacing through the hallways and rooms, turning on all of the lights as
he went.

��

�� I love
you.�

�� He leaned against the wall next to the steps. Why couldn�t
he get that out of his head? Wes loved him and he left him all alone� no, that
wasn�t right� he didn�t love Wes, right? He loved Name and he loved Heero. He
even loved Solo and Shi and even Quatre and Trowa, he didn�t love Wes� but� he
did� even if he could never forgive him for everything that he had done. Why
had he chosen him out of all of the orphans? Had he been attracted to him� had
he loved him when he was a child, too? He had been calling Wes his father for
years, but was that who he really was? He had to sit down, it was just too much� why did he have to think like
this? Why couldn�t he just let things be? Shame filled him, making him sick to
his stomach. He wanted to talk to someone, some human contact, the same need he
had been feeling all day, but it was even stronger now, late at night with
everyone else asleep. He couldn�t wake Heero up, he
was too ashamed of his problems. If Heero knew that he was missing the man that
he had rescued him from, he would probably be disgusted in him. So, he
continued to wander from room to room, hoping that the relentless pacing would
still his furious thoughts. He walked for hours, feeling tired, but restless at
the same time. He wanted a normal life, it was all he had ever wanted, but he
was beginning to understand how impossible that was. He had never hated anyone
more than he hated Wes, but he was also the first person he had cared for,
simply because he was the first real person he had had long time contact with.
How could he fix that? He didn�t want to be this conflicted!

�� Duo?� he heard Name�s sleep muddled voice from behind him.
He turned in shock, having not heard her walking down the hallway. She looked
cute in her loose fitting, cotton blue night shirt and grey pajama pants, her
straight black hair adorably mussed from sleep and she rubbed at her eyes,
stifling a yawn. Duo felt guilty about waking her and blushed at her sleepy
state, having never seen her anything but composed and perfect before, but even
having just rolled out of bed, she looked somehow mature and professional.

�� What�s wrong?� she asked, her
eyes half lidded.

�� I can�t sleep, I�m sorry,� he murmured, �You can go back
to sleep, I�m just going to walk around.�

�� She shook her head.

�� Duo, what�s wrong?� she insisted, the sleep leaving her
face and replaced with worry. He looked away.

�� I had a nightmare, I don�t want to go back to sleep.�

�� She smiled at him, took him by the arm and led him back to
the steps.

�� What are you doing?� he asked, alarmed.

�� Taking you back to bed. I won�t
have you walking around all night, scared of sleeping. You need your rest,� she
said, leading him up the stairs. He didn�t protest, knowing that it wasn�t fair
to make her worry and let her lead him back to his room. He slipped back into
bed, but still felt just as restless as before. His eyes widened as he felt the
bed dip as Name slipped in behind him and threw her arm over him, bringing the
covers up over them.

�� W-what are you doing?� Duo cried, confused and blushing as
he felt her heat at his back. There was nothing sexual at all about it and it
was oddly comforting, but that just made him feel even more confused. What
exactly was she doing?

�� I used to do this for Heero when he had bad dreams as a
child. It does help, Duo, having someone there to keep the nightmares away,�
she said softly. Duo blushed even darker at the mention of Heero having
nightmares.

�� I�ve never had anyone sleep next to me without sex being
involved,� he murmured. Name was silent, sad at his words, and laid her head against
his.

�� Go to sleep, Duo,� she said tiredly, �no more bad dreams
or bad thoughts ok?�

�� Duo nodded. It was so awkward, having his best friend�s
mother sleeping with him, but it also made him feel warm and safe and most of
all, loved. He closed his eyes and imagined that, for a little while, she was his mother. Sleep came easily after
that and he finally drifted off. Name watched him with a sad smile, relaxing
and letting herself fall back into sleep, too.

��

�� Years of having to get up early at five in the morning to
get Heero up and ready for school had messed with Name�s biological clock and
she no longer needed an alarm to wake up at that time, even when there was no
school that day. Usually, she would immediately wake at five a.m. sharp and run
into the shower, but this morning was different. She laid in the bed and
watched Duo sleep. Thankfully, whether it was due to how tired he had been or
her presence in the bed with him, he hadn�t stirred the rest of the night. He
was curled on his side and she had given him the rest of the covers, tucking
him in. His braid curled on the covers next to his chest, trailing over his
shoulder. His face looked peaceful as he slept and she felt relieved that he
hadn�t had any nightmares while she had watched over him. He looked so young,
like a small child and she felt no embarrassment or qualms about sleeping with
him. He looked so vulnerable, like he needed someone to watch over him. She had
known that it would be a handful when she had taken him in, but this was
starting to break her heart. She had never met anyone who was as confused and
torn inside as Duo was. She could handle the physical aches and pains, but the
insomnia, the nightmares, his dark and conflicting feelings for Wes� she could
understand them, but she didn�t know how to help him cope with them. She knew
that therapy was the best option, but it would be useless unless Duo wanted to
go and right now he wasn�t ready. She brushed his bangs away from his face. She
didn�t know if she was ready to take on the responsibility of another child
when she still had her own son�s problems, but for Duo�s sake, she had to try.

��

�� Duo didn�t have any severe emotional outbursts or problems
after that. He was still anxious, conflicted and more than a little
embarrassed, but he was able to sleep without any terribly bad night mares and
had no more major panic attacks during the day. He didn�t tell Heero about
anything that had happened between him and his mother because it was hard
enough to deal with one person worrying about him and Heero would worry whether
he knew about the nightmares or not. He spent his days readying and watching
the news, trying to catch up with the rest of the world, but it just served to
depress him. It was already mid-January, Christmas and New Year�s had somehow
passed him by when he had been missing. He didn�t miss the holidays, Christmas
made him severely depressed since he had had no friends or family to spend it
with and had to watch other families so happy and eager for the winter break,
knowing that he had no one that loved him. The only gifts that he had ever
gotten were those tiny candy canes carolers gave out Christmas Eve to the homeless
and that Wes gave him Christmas night off, though that was more because Wes had
his friends over for beers and Duo had been expected to serve them than because
of any generosity or holiday feelings. He couldn�t even have bought presents
for Solo because he had no money. New Year�s he didn�t even consider a holiday.
For him, every year was exactly the same, pain, loneliness, and degradation,
what was there to celebrate? All people did was gather for parties to get drunk
out of their minds and Duo was too you to drink. Even if he hadn�t been, he
didn�t think he would ever succumb to the lures of alcohol. He had too many
problems in his life already; he didn�t need to add alcoholism to the list. It
wasn�t like it tasted good, either. Duo wasn�t a religious person. It was
partially due to all that had happened in his life. As a child he had figured
that if there was some form of Supreme
Being, he or she or it was cruel and didn�t deserve to be worshipped. When he
had gotten older, religion had just seemed like a ridiculous concept that only
served to create hate, not peace, and he had had no use for it in his life. So,
celebrating Christmas to him meant family
and friends, not worshipping some
baby that had been born thousands of years ago. He was glad that, this year,
those holidays had passed him by, though he couldn�t help but wonder what
Christmas as the Yuy house had been like. At least those holidays had meant
that he had only missed a few weeks of school instead of an entire month�s
worth, though he missing all of his finals had been a serious blow. He was sure
that his teachers would have had an easier time overlooking his absences if it
hadn�t been for that. So, it had come as a surprise when, on Thursday, he got a
call from Treize.

�� What did you say� Duo asked, the telephone clenched in a
white-knuckled grip as he pressed it to his ear. He and Name had been making
stir fry for dinner while Heero finished his homework upstairs when the phone
had rang. Name had paused in chopping the vegetables to listen to Duo�s side of
the conversation.

�� I said,� Treize toned patiently, in good spirits and
humor, �that the school board has handed me their decision about your re-admittance
into high school. You will be allowed to go back, but only if you agree to stay
after classes every day this week to make up what you have missed for this
semester and show them that you are serious about continuing your education.
Unfortunately, because you missed all of your finals, you will be getting D�s
in all of your fall semester classes, but you won�t be failed because of your
earlier exemplary work and if you do well this semester, you won�t be forced to
repeat your freshman year. You�ll have to pick out classes for this semester
before you come back, but I can give Heero the class lists tomorrow for you,�
Treize said, his voice up beat. Duo was silent for a moment. He couldn�t
believe that this was happening! He thought there would be some debate, but the
decision had come back so quickly, Treize must have pulled quite a few strings
to get the board to meet so quickly.

�� I-� I don�t mind about the D�s or
the make-up work, I just� I can go to school Monday then, or do I have to wait
or��

�� Name smiled brightly at hearing that he would be returning
to school, but Duo didn�t notice. Treize chuckled over the line.

�� Just bring the class list before school starts on Monday
and I�ll print out your schedule. I�ll make sure that you can start classes
Monday. Your teachers haven�t been told anything just that the school board
decided to let you come back. Whatever you decide to tell them, I�ll back you
up on,� the principal assured him.

�� T-thank you so much, sir!� Duo
stammered, his heart feeling it was going to burst out of his chest. Name
nudged his shoulder gently.

�� You�re very welcome, Mr. Maxwell,� Treize said.

�� Can I speak to him?� Name whispered. Duo nodded and handed
the phone to her. He went to the table to set for dinner and Heero joined him.
They both looked at Name speaking excitedly on the phone out of the corner of
their eyes.

�� What�s going on?� Heero asked in a hushed tone, �Who�s Mom talking to?�

�� Treize,� Duo said softly, �he�s letting me come back to
school Monday. I have to stay late all next week, but I won�t be held back if I
finish all of my work.�

�� That�s great!� Heero exclaimed, forgetting to keep his
voice down.

�� It�s better than great!� Name said as she hung up the
phone, �I know that I liked that man! Now, Duo, you can tell us everything, but
first, let�s eat!�

�� Duo too a deep nervous breath, his class list filled with
marks and poorly erased notes clutched in his hand. Saturday and Sunday had
been great. He and Heero had gone to the movies, gotten pizza afterwards, and
yesterday they had gone to the pond that was in Heero�s neighborhood to feed
the ducks since it wasn�t cold enough for the pond to freeze over, going out to
dinner when it had finally gotten too dark. Duo had liked going to the pond,
watching the carefree birds swim after the pieces of bread while he and Heero
talked about the excitement of going to school together again. However, now it
was Monday morning and Duo felt sick with a mixture of nervousness and
excitement. He had always loved school but now he was worried that he wouldn�t
be able to catch up and what sort off questions people were going to ask him.
Going to the movies with Heero had been a little bit stressful at first because
of the amount of people there, so he was worried that he would have a panic
attack being crowded by people he had never trusted. But, Heero would be there
wit him, so he was sure that it would be ok. It was partially because of his
loneliness and anxiety that he had chosen all but one class with Heero. His
eyes scanned over the class list again. He had Painting, Geometry, English, American
History, Earth Science, and Gym with Heero and Cooking by himself. He didn�t
think it would be too bad, and he was looking forward to cooking, Painting,
English, and Geometry, but he still felt uneasy He packed the black book bag
that Name had bought him with note books, the calculator for Geometry, though
he hated using calculators, a ruler, and pencils.

�� Are you ok?� Heero asked, already ready for schools since
Duo had to go early to see Treize. Duo nodded.

�� It�s just� I�ve never had a back pack before,� he
admitted, �I�ve always carried my whole life around with me in that duffle bag,
it feels weird, like I�m naked without it,� he zipped the bag up, �This whole
thing feels weird to me.�

�� Heero smiled at him.

�� It�s your first day back in a month and now you�ll have
your own lunch and you won�t have to worry about hiding things, at least on
your own. Remember, no matter what anyone says or asks, you don�t have to tell
them shit if you don�t want to and I�ll be there if you ever feel overwhelmed,
plus there�s Quatre, Trowa, and Treize, and you can always call Mom if you need
her,� Heero reminded him.

�� Thanks, Heero,� Duo said thankfully. Heero was being a
little bit overprotective, but Duo didn�t feel coddled and crowded by it, he
didn�t mind a little extra protection from his best friend, �I�m ready to go
when you are.�

�� Alright,� Heero agreed and they walked downstairs
together. Duo made a beeline for the door, but Name stopped him with a hand on
his arm.

�� Forgetting something?� she asked, a brown bag lunch in her
hand. Duo blushed. He had never had someone make him lunch before.

�� Sorry,� he said sheepishly, taking the lunch from her.

�� Call me if there is anything wrong, ok?� she insisted. Duo
nodded. Last night she had wanted to give him a cell phone, but he had refused.
He didn�t see any point in carrying a phone he would probably never use around
in his pocket. One of the fads that he hated the most was people who played
with their phones all the time like it was a life line, even in the middle of
class.

�� Bye, Mom,� Heero waved as he opened the
door for Duo and the two left the house into the cold morning air, leaving in
Heero�s silver car.

�� The school was blessedly empty so early in the morning, so
Duo felt comfortable walking to Treize�s office to get his schedule. He knew
that he was going to get some weird looks, if any of his classmates noticed him
at all. He wouldn�t be surprised if no one had noticed his absence. It was probably
the first time that he was grateful for being ignored even if he still was a
little bitter about it. Duo got his schedule from Treize with no problem,
excited to see that all of his class choice had been approved. He agreed to
meet him and Une after school to start on his Earth Science work. Treize had
told him that he wanted to get him caught up with one class today. It wounded
like a good plan, seven classes in five days. Painting and Cooking had so
little homework that Treize had decided to combine it on Friday and he didn�t
have anything that needed to be done in gym, obviously. It was nice knowing
that he had three classes that he didn�t have to worry about. He was also
excited that he would still have Une Khushrenada as his science teacher. Tomorrow
he would have to meet with his American History teacher, a man he had never had
before, named Williams. Wednesday was Lucrezia Noin, who he had had last
semester for English, too, and had the same sort of relationship with that he
had with Une. Thursday would be Geometry with Professor G, whom he had also had
last semester for Algebra. Friday would be easy with Painting, Gym, and Cooking;
Treize had even informed him that he didn�t want to overwhelm him before the
weekend. He only had to meet with Schbeiker for Gym because she had requested
to talk to him privately, and Midii Une, oddly not related to his science teacher,
for Painting, and Long Meiran for Cooking, assured Treize that there wasn�t
much for Duo to make up. Duo shook Treize�s hand and thanked him again for his
help, leaving for the Earth Science classroom with Heero.

�� Duo felt much more confident leaving Treize�s office than
he had entering it, having discussed what he was going to do to get back on
track. Heero noticed his friend�s change in attitude and also relaxed. As they
walked down the hallway, suddenly a blonde blur flew at them and Duo had a
split second before he was hugged tightly by a very hyper Quatre.

�� Duo! Oh my God, it�s so good to
see you! How are you?!�

�� I�m much better, Quatre, it�s good to see you, too,� Duo
said slowly, taking Quatre�s hyper ness and tight hug in stride. After telling
Trowa and Quatre about his past, he had been worried about losing their
friendship, but not only were they not disgusted, they didn�t appear to
outright pity him for it, either, they just treated him like they always had.
It was good to see him and he hugged him back. He had missed him and Trowa in
the week they had vacated to a hotel for.

�� I�m glad to see that you�re adjusting well,� Trowa said as
he approached them, though much slower than his lover, �Name said that you were
coming here early, so we thought we�d say �hi�,� the tall boy�s eyes were soft
as he looked at the violet eyed boy. He had last seen him in the hospital and
he looked much better now. He had been shocked when he had heard the truth
about Duo�s past. He couldn�t remember being so angry in his life. He had never
before wanted to kill another human being like he wanted to kill Wes. He wasn�t
a bold person, but he had made a promise to himself that he would protect Duo
if he had to, they all would, if that man showed up to hurt him again. No one
deserved to be treated like that, especially not someone like Duo. He couldn�t
stop remembering what Duo had looked like that night he had come out of
surgery. He knew that Duo was strong, but he was also lonely and needed people
to give him the affection he had been refused since he was a child. Trowa was
sure that Name and Heero had done all that they could to make Duo feel at home
and he was looking forward to going back there as well. Living in the hotel
room with Quatre had felt like a strange honey moon, going to school during the
day and making love and ordering room service at night. It had been nice
compared to the large home they shared in Italy. Trowa, like Quatre, had
never been to public school. He had grown up with a traveling circus. His
parents had been a part of it as acrobats, but due to a terrible accident
during an act when he had been a baby, his older sister, Catherine, had become
his guardian and had home schooled him in their tiny trailer. His childhood had
been filled with feeding lions and learning how to do gymnastics tricks while
his sister taught him math. It had been all that he had ever known, but through
watching TV, he had discovered that his life was not at all normal. Though,
after hearing what Duo�s childhood had been like, he couldn�t call it �bad�,
just unique. When he had fallen in love with Quatre, it had been hard to
balance what they were used to, Quatre�s mansion with its many servants and his
trailer with the smell of wild cats, but they had somehow made their
relationship work. Still, it had been a relief, that hotel room, but the Yuy
house, despite its size, felt just as comfortable to him. He also yearned for a
friend like Duo, someone down to earth that could understand how uncomfortable,
it was to be pampered. Trowa didn�t mind public school, but their known
friendship with Heero and Duo had created some sort of invisible barrier between
them and the other students. Trowa didn�t mind as much as it seemed to truly
bother Quatre. He had always been shy and had problems making friends. In both
of their eyes, if anyone had a problem with Duo or Heero, they weren�t worth
the time anyway.

�� Quatre untangled Duo and his smile softened to something
more gentle and tender as Trowa and Duo hugged.

�� Are you two really staying here for the rest of the year?�
Heero asked. At the same time that he was annoyed that they would be moving
back into his home tonight, he was happy to have his other two friends so close
by.

�� Yes, is that a problem?� Quarter said in a suggestive knowing
tone, glancing at Duo, who was utterly clueless to his innuendo. Heero glared
at him.

�� Of course not,� he said in a clipped one. Quatre grinned.

�� Great!� he chirped, �Trowa and I are in different classes
from you two, but we�ll be sure to save you a seat at lunch, have fun!� Quatre
waved at them and started to drag Trowa off, who rolled his eyes at his lover�s
antics. Heero gave Duo a suffering look.

�� He�s way too� perky in the morning,� he grumbled. Duo
smiled.

�� I think it�s cute.�

�� Heero rolled his eyes.

�� Don�t encourage him.��

�� Duo bit his lip.

�� Do you really think I can make up all that work? What if I
never catch up?� he worried. Heero ruffled his hair a little, stifling a laugh
at Duo�s annoyed expression as he tried to soothe down his hair

�� It�ll be fine, Duo. Treize thinks you can do it and I can,
too, he and Une are too stubborn to give up on you.�

�� Duo nodded. That was true; Treize wouldn�t let him give up
because he couldn�t bear to fail.

�� Duo kept his head low as he and Heero entered their second
class, English. Earth Science had been� interesting. At first, it seemed like
nothing had changed, sitting next to Heero, Une smiling at him when she
entered, but it wasn�t the same. For one, he wasn�t being ignored anymore. The
second people started to come into the classroom, they
stared at him like h was a bug under a microscope. He couldn�t take the
unrelenting looks and had squirmed in his seat. His fellow classmates had
stared at him in confusion, their eyes buzzing with furious questions, and Une
had had to yell at some of them to stop chatting during class. Duo tried hard
to drown out the whispers, but he knew that they were talking about him. As he
and Heero walked out into the hallway, Heero had been approached several times
by people wanting to know what was going on, but Heero brushed them off like
they were invisible.

�� They walked English and people turned in the their seats,
whispering to each other, but some glared at Duo as thought they couldn�t
understand his audacity to come back to school. Duo didn�t know what was worse,
being a bug or being gunk under someone�s shoe. He tried to ignore all of it,
especially when the class was over and he
was approached by people, but it was hard. He was used to being nobody, not
a valuable piece of gossip. Heero, on the other hand, seemed to be used to
people talking about him and didn�t seem bothered at all. He tried his best to
ignore it as they finished with Earth Science, English, and Painting. It was
nice seeing Une and Noin again and Duo had no complaints about Midii Une. She
was a petite blonde, passionate about painting and a stickler for dedication,
but from what Duo could see, she was also very patient and kind. He reminded
himself that he still had to get through two new teachers before he could
relax.

�� It felt weird going back to school after everything that
had happened. If he tried really hard, he could pretend that none of it had
happened, but that would have involved the good
things that had happened, too, Heero�s promises, Name�s kindness, and he
was willing to balance the bad stuff with the good stuff. It felt good to be
walking the halls with his best friend. He realized just how lucky he was that
he had been forgiven by Heero after what had happened with Zechs. There wasn�t
a day that had gone by that he wasn�t grateful that the one good thing in his
life was still there for him. He could almost believe that Heero would always be with him if it weren�t for
that cautious, pessimistic part of himself that said
that nothing this good would last. During his� absence� he had believed that he
would never be with Heero again, that he would never go back to school again,
but here he was. He had been in such emotional agony without Heero. So now he felt so good, it was a new and shocking
emotion for him. There was still that part of him that was scared of his new
life and wanted something familiar, but he wasn�t willing to trade the love he
felt for Heero for the pain he had lived in for so long. Though this new life
was unfamiliar to him, he also loved it. In the past, he had always believed
that he had no future. Now, all of a sudden, he was back at school, had a real home, and so much to look forward
to and get used to. It was enough to make his head spin. Compared to all of
that, a little bit of staring was annoying, but something he could live with.
When was the last time that he had gone this long without the taste of semen in
his mouth? He couldn�t remember. This was definitely the first time he had gone
to school without being in pain, anyway.

�� Heero dealt with the stares easier than Duo did. As a Yuy,
he was used to being gawked at and gossiped about, but he didn�t like how
uncomfortable the looks were making Duo. He would have punched one of their
classmates to send a message if he thought it would have made things better
instead of worse. That, and it would just make Duo upset. Heero wondered if the
reason that his turning to physical violence bothered Duo so much was because
he had been the victim of so much physical abuse. That possible fact made him
think twice about striking anyone. He
was amazed that Duo hadn�t dropped him after he had put that boy in the hospital.
It made him wonder what Duo saw in him if he had continued to want to be his
friend. It made him wonder what he had done to make Duo so sure of him and why
he wasn�t scared of him. He looked at Duo out of the corner of his eye. He
looked happier than he had been before he had disappeared, but there were also
a lot of things that hadn�t changed.
His expression was cautious and guarded like he was expecting something heavy
to fall on his head and had to protect himself from the rest of the world so
they wouldn�t be able to see how much it hurt. He still looked so small and frail to Heero, but just as strong. He was
still the survivor he had always been. Gone was the smell and dirt and grime
and broken glasses, but the hesitation and fear still remained, though it
wasn�t quite as blatant as it had been, the security living with them had given
him making him relax just a little bit. He was still the boy that Heero had
fallen head over heels with. Actually, after seeing Duos ability to get back to
his feet even after all of the horrible things that had been done to him, he
loved him even more to the point that his heart wanted to burst out of his
chest. He felt such an intense pride for
Duo, seeing him walk around like everything was normal, even when he knew that
he was having trouble adjusting. His feelings for him felt so intense, it was
making him sick inside. How could an emotion feel so good and bad at the same
time? As they walked to the cafeteria, a girl with sort black hair looked
intently at Duo, studying him. Heero recognized the look, he had been on the
receiving end of those lustful looks before and he realized that Duo didn�t
smell or look sick anymore and their classmates were finally noticing the
beauty and potential in Duo that Heero had seen all along. Heero didn�t like
that. He bit back a growl and the sudden urge to rip the pretty girl�s throat
out with his bare hands. He saw Duo notice the girl checking him out and his
heart clenched painfully. Duo blushed in embarrassment, but simply looked away,
not wanting anything to do with her. The girl looked taken aback by Duo�s
disinterest and Heero grinned smugly at her, staying close to his side.

�� Duo brushed the black haired girl�s gaze off with a twinge
of embarrassment. He had only been looked at like that by girls a handful of
times and he hated it just as much as he had hated the lusty looks he got from
his johns. He felt no attraction towards girls, especially compared to the
interest he had in Heero, and their interested looks only made him feel self
conscious and embarrassed. He had noticed a few people checking him out, clean
and well fed, and realized that he was truly being seen for the first time, but wasn�t sure yet if he liked it or not,
it just made him feel uncomfortable. He decided to try to ignore such looks
like he did all the others and try to enjoy his lunch with his friends.

�� Quatre carefully watched for Heero and Duo as he claimed a
table at lunch. It wasn�t hard, finding a table for just the four of them. When
he and Trowa had first come to this school, they had been gawked at and
followed around. As the Winner heir and having such a rememberable
face, Quatre was used to it, but it had made Trowa nervous. Things had been
stressful those few couple of days, dealing with people�s awe and open
adoration. The people in this town had never seen so many famous people in
their lives so they were more than a little star struck. They were especially
anxious as to why Quatre was there and who Trowa was. Their classmates seemed
to think that anyone associating with Quatre or Heero had to be celebrities
themselves, but Trowa kept quiet. He could tell that his lover wanted to say
something, but it was enough for him. Just knowing that Quatre wasn�t ashamed of
him was enough; he didn�t care if anyone else knew the truth. Trowa wasn�t
surprised that, when Quatre introduced them as Heero and Duo�s friends, the adoration had abruptly stopped and they had
been avoided like they had the plague. Quatre wasn�t one of those people that
craved attention from strangers but their classmates� attitudes towards them
had shocked him. It amazed Trowa how naive his lover was sometimes. When Quatre
had figured out that the problem was Duo, he and Trowa had had the silent agreement
to simply ignore the others. Quatre couldn�t stand that sort of subtle bullying
and he refused to deal with anyone
that looked down on Duo. He didn�t think that they were missing out on much.
Compared to how much he missed Duo, still lying in his hospital bed, it wasn�t
a big deal, scorning the friendship of any other student. Because of his name,
Quatre had, like Heero, always had problems making friends. It had been a bit
harder for Heero because the Yuy name was much more intimidating than Winner,
and his slightly volatile personality was a problem compared to Quatre�s sunny
one, but it was because of Quatre�s bubbly attitude that people mistook him for
an airhead and thought the was an easy target while Heero was considered more
dangerous. So, friends like Duo that didn�t care about his wealth and both
respected and didn�t underestimate him, were precious to him. He, in turn, had
a great respect for Duo and certainly put him higher than a bunch of teenagers
that thought they owned the world. That boy that had been with them at the
hospital, Wufei, was the only one who dared to sit with them, though he seemed
content to only talk about things other than Duo and Heero. When they did try to steer the conversation in
that direction, the Chinese boy would look horribly depressed and clam up. They
stopped talking about it after a few days. It made Quatre smirk. It looked like
Duo had two people fighting for his affections if he only realized it, and
Quatre could see why. Duo was very attractive, though he wasn�t really Quatre�s
type, you would have to be blind not to see it. If Duo was gay and interested, Quatre thought, with how quickly and
strongly he had connected with Heero, it was a safe bet who
he would choose. Then there was Wufei�s outburst in the hospital. Quatre had wanted
to hate him for that, whether it was understandable or not. Quatre knew first
hand the frustration that Wufei had been feeling at Duo�s news of rape and
abuse, but what he had said was just utterly disgusting. Quatre had wanted to
attack the black haired boy for it, but was glad to see that he was suffering enough
because of his words. Quatre wasn�t sure how to deal with Duo�s past. He had
had absolutely no experience with rape victims and he felt that the only thing
he could do was be there for Duo, but it didn�t seem like nearly enough. But,
at the same time Duo was still the same person and Quatre couldn�t bear to
treat him differently. He caught sight of his two friends and waved them over.

�� Hey, Duo!� Quatre called as they
sat down. Duo smiled at him. �So, how was the first day back?� the blonde
asked. Duo shrugged.

�� Pretty much the same except, you know,� he gestured to a
table of girls that was staring at them. The girls, seeing the gesture,
realized that they were caught and looked away, giggling annoyingly and
blushing.

�� Just ignore them,� Trowa said gruffly, seeing how
uncomfortable Duo was.

�� Can I see your schedule� Quatre asked, trying to divert
Duo�s attention from the staring. Duo handed him the folded piece of paper.

�� Uh� can I� um, sit here?� a familiar voice asked
nervously. Heero glared up at Wufei while Duo looked at him uncomfortably.

��

�� You should have
fought back, even if you had died!�

�� Wufei�s words hung in the air as Duo and Heero stared him
down and Trowa and Quatre looked away. Regardless of their own feelings on the
subject, they would respect Duo�s position on the subject. Duo wanted to look
away from Wufei�s warm brown eyes. He wanted to hate him. His relationship with
the boy had been bad from the start and his words had hurt him, deeply. But,
the cocky, stubborn, love-struck boy he had known was gone and Duo felt like he
was seeing Wufei for the first time. He had had a lot of courage to approach
him like this. Duo searched Wufei�s eyes for any hint of the puppy love he had held
for him, but only saw a deep, confused respect and an equally deep guilt.

�� Sure,� he conceded. Heero looked at him in shock, but let
Wufei sit next to Duo. The hair on the back of his neck bristled, he was sure
that this was just a trick, that Wufei was going to do something to gain Duo�s
affections again, but he relaxed when Wufei only ate, and listened as Quatre
commented on Duo�s teachers. Duo felt weird sitting next to Wufei and not being bothered by him, but pushed
away the feeling and taking out his lunch, licking his lips when he saw the Swiss
miss pudding, baggie of dill pickles, and strawberry yoghurt. Heero made a face
of disgust, which Duo only smirked at, when he saw that his mother had packed
Duo a liverwurst sandwich. During their time alone together, Name had decided
to test what Duo�s so far untested appetite would like by cooking and making
just about everything she could come up with. To her and Heero�s surprise, they
had discovered that there were few foods Duo would turn his nose at and he
especially enjoyed liverwurst on white Canadian bread. Heero remembered when
she had gotten him to try liverwurst as a child and made another face. Duo responded
by taking a large bite from his sandwich and hummed happily. Heero rolled his
eyes as Duo finished the sandwich in only a few bites and moved on to his
pickles.

�� You have Mr. Williams for a teacher?� Quatre asked, a
golden eyebrow raised.

�� I heard that he�s a real jerk,� Wufei said suddenly,
giving a little flinch when he realized that he had spoken out loud. He glanced
at Duo and felt an intense pang of homesickness. The longhaired boy reminded
him of his lover, of his home back in China. He still didn�t feel like he
belonged here. How did Yuy do it? He had adjusted to his life here in America
so seamlessly; it was like he had been born
here. Why was Heero so damn happy when he felt so miserable? It was odd, he
had felt so horribly alone, but when he was with these four, it wasn�t so bad.
Mostly, he missed Fai. Being around Duo made that longing so much worse. Duo
was beautiful and smart, just like his lover, but he was also much different,
but he wasn�t the solution to his problems. Yes, Duo was beautiful and sexy,
and Wufei wanted him, but his heart had belonged to another for a very long time
now and that wasn�t going to change. He wanted Fai so badly he wanted to cry,
and he knew that his parents could tell there was something wrong with him,
even if he was too proud to tell them he wanted to go back to China because, as
much as the attitudes of his people had hurt him, it had also been the only hoe
he had ever known and he missed it dearly. He looked over at Heero and Duo, who
were listening to Quatre tell them rumors about Williams. They looked so
heartbreakingly perfect together.
They made love look easy and wonderful. While Duo had been in the hospital
recovering, Wufei had come to learn quite a few things. It had become obvious
to him that Duo�s heart belonged to another, too, and it was so far gone, there
was no way to get it back, he should have realized that a long time ago, but it
had taken his shock at Duo�s personal darkness to open his eyes. He also
realized that he had probably destroyed a potential friendship. There was
something about the four of them that made him feel
comfortable and not so lonely, and, to his relief, it looked like they might
just accept him and forgive him. He didn�t deserve forgiveness for what he had
said to Duo in one of the lowest parts of Duo�s life when he had needed
acceptance but they were at least tolerating him. He still couldn�t understand
how Duo could keep going after all that had happened to him, but he respected
him deeply for his strength and wished that he could be that strong.

�� Apparently the man is really strict,� Quatre was saying in
the tone of someone who was absolutely certain of his facts, �he tried to get a
girl expelled from school for only being ten minutes late! He told Mr. Khushrenada
that a girl with that sort of attitude didn�t deserve to be taught by him!
Naturally, Khushrenada denied his request, but Williams is really overbearing
and when it comes to his students, he expects perfection and if he finds you
lacking, there�s hell to pay! The man has a mean streak a mile wide!� Quatre
gestured wildly, his sea green eyes bright with the excitement of telling such
a juicy story. Duo rolled his eyes.

�� Let me guess, you learned that from gossip?� he asked,
teasing. Quatre shrugged.

�� People talk,� he said simply. Heero snorted.

�� Thanks, but I think we�ll wait until we take his class
before we judge him, Quatre.�

�� Duo nodded in agreement. Truthfully he wasn�t at all
bothered by Quatre�s words. That didn�t mean that he thought the man was a
saint or a good teacher, but he wasn�t going to believe anything unless he had
some facts behind it. Back when he had been struggling through Middle School,
Duo had heard a lot of gossip through his classmates older siblings about Une.
He had heard a lot of stories, including that she was cruel and had some sort
of split personality when dealing with students and parents. He hadn�t given
much credence to the gossip back them and he wouldn�t give any now. When he had
finally met Une, she had proven to be strict, but that was only because she
cared so much for her students. She was also kind and understanding, not taking
crap from anyone at the same time that she knew the facets of the common
teenager and was willing to turn a blind eye to some behaviors. He had learned
a long time ago that people liked to talk about the bad things, the drama, the
misery, and that gossip had absolutely nothing to do with the truth.

�� As much as Duo was hesitant to admit it, there seemed to be
a bit of fact to the stories about Frank Williams. There were no introductions
as the thirty-seven year old man entered the large history classroom. He looked
normal, brown eyes that were only a shade lighter than his hair and wearing as
nice a suit a teacher could afford, but his eyes were cold and sharp as he
assessed his students. It was an amazing thing how every person instantly
quieted. There was something about those eyes that commanded respect and
obedience. When those cold, brown eyes fell on Duo, the longhaired boy caught a
flash of anger in them and fear spiked in his heart, but he shook it off as
well as he could and concentrated on the lecture, even when the man�s piercing
eyes returned to him again and again.

�� Heero noticed the teacher�s hateful look at his best
friend, too, and glared back, but realized that, for once, he was powerless. He
didn�t like the feeling one bit. That was the problem with having something so
good. He could fight back, but now he had so much to lose and found himself in
situations like this, unwilling to risk his friendship.

�� Heero walked Duo to the school library when classes ended.
Une had given him the assignments he had to complete after class and he was
supposed to stop by Treize�s office to hand his work in.

�� I�ll come by the office in a few hours,� Heero told him,
�Mom knows to wait.�

�� Duo frowned.

�� Are you sure that you want to wait? Une and Treize want to
talk to me and you really don�t have to say,� he said. Heero smiled.

�� I have nothing better to do.�

�� Duo tried to protest, but Heero turned and walked off,
leaving Duo standing in the library alone, unable to yell after him.

�� Duo stretched in the uncomfortable wooden chair and stifled
a yawn. Diagrams of rock and topographs and volcanoes seemed to be permanently
tattooed into his brain, but after two hours, he had finally caught up with all
of his work for Une. Despite the headache that was starting to build, he felt a
sense of achievement at finishing so much work. It also gave him some
confidence knowing that he could catch
up. He still couldn�t believe that Heero had opted to stay in school while he
did his work. He wasn�t sure where his friend had gone, but just knowing that
he was close by if he needed him made him feel good. He felt guilty wasting
Heero�s time, though, and decided to talk to Heero about not staying after
tomorrow as well. He sighed and gathered his things. He had a very good idea
about what Une and Treize wanted to talk to him about and he wasn�t looking
forward to it.

�� Treize and Une were waiting for Duo in Treize�s office when
the blue-eyed man�s secretary escorted him in. Duo couldn�t help but feel nervous
when Treize closed the door behind him. He realized that no one could hear them
in here and felt grateful at the same time that he was uncomfortable.

�� I finished my work,� he told Une as he handed over his
papers. She smiled at him and took them from him.

�� Thank you, Duo, it wasn�t that
hard, was it?�

�� He shook his head.

�� It was fun learning how to make topographs and the chapter
on magma was pretty interesting� Duo mentioned. Une�s smile grew.

�� Duo, if all of my students were as eager to learn as you,
my job as a teacher would be much easier.�

�� Duo blushed deeply.

�� Sit down, Duo,� Treize said kindly, gesturing to a chair.
Not seeing a way out of the situation, Duo sat. Treize and Une sat in front of
him and shared a look.

�� First off,� Treize said, his blue eyes meeting Duo�s
violet ones, �I�m glad to see that you�re adjusting to school again. I�m also
proud that you�re so dedicated to try to continue with you�re education,�
Treize said and Une nodded in agreement.

�� But, that�s not what we want to talk to you about,� she
admitted. Duo gave a soft flinch as she took his hands in hers.

�� I am so sorry Duo,� she said, tears in her eyes, �about
everything� those� things shouldn�t have happened to you. More than that, I�m
sorry that we� I� didn�t help you,� she squeezed his
hand as she struggled with her emotions.

�� It�s alright,� Duo tried to assure her.

�� No, it�s not,� Treize said, �It�s our job as teachers, as
a part of community, to make sure that you�re safe, and we didn�t do that.�

�� I should have known,� Une looked away from Duo, �I knew
there was something wrong and I didn�t do everything I could to help you! I
should have tried harder��

�� Duo shook his head.

�� There�s noting you could have done,� he told her, �Even
Name and Heero didn�t know for sure. I should have told someone, but I was in
such a bad place, I was too ashamed and I didn�t think that anyone would want to help me. Even if you had found
out on your own, somehow, Wes would have found away to keep you from causing
trouble,� the incident with Nurse Po came to his mind.

�� Une seemed to accept that from him.

�� I forgive you, both of you. It wasn�t your fault and you
did more than most people did for me.�

�� Treize�s eyes met his wife�s.

�� I have a few more things I want to talk to Duo about, wh don�t you find Mr. Yuy? Unless
he went home and is going to be picking you up later?� Treize asked.

�� No, he�s still here.�

�� Une stood and smiled warmly at Duo.

�� I�ll see you tomorrow, then,� she said and gave his
shoulder a slight squeeze.

�� Bye, Mrs. Khushrenada,� Duo called as the longhaired woman
left and closed the door. Treize cleaned his throat, folding his hands over his
lap.

�� Now, Mr. Maxwell, do you know what you would like to do
once you graduate from here?� he asked. Duo shrugged.

�� Honestly, I�ve never thought about it,� Duo said, noting
the sad look in Treize�s eyes, �I don�t have many things that I�m good at any
way.�

�� Treize nodded in understanding.

�� In that case-,�

�� The door suddenly flew open and Williams, a mad expression
on his face, stormed in.

�� What is the meaning of this, Khushrenada?!� he snarled,
his expression turning even more furious, Duo jumped out of his chair and
retreated to the side of Treize�s desk, his flight instincts wanting to put as
much of a distance between him and the teacher as possible. Treize spotted his frantic
secretary over the man�s shoulder and shook his head, walking past Williams to
close the door.

�� Why is he being let back into school?!�
Williams demanded, pointing at Duo, �he missed over a month, this is ridiculous!�

�� Some new information has come to light and the school
board and I agree that Duo�s circumstances warrant another chance,� Treize
tried to placate him.

�� What information?�

�� Treize looked at Duo, who nodded.

�� It has recently come to my attention that Mr. Maxwell�s
guardian is not his real father. The man took him from the streets and, as a child,
raped and propositioned him. He was able to come and go from school, but he was
severely abused. It wasn�t until another student had discovered all of this
that he was able to get help. In the last moth, he was held against his will
and brutalized. Fortunately, he is all better now and it was decided that he be
allowed back of course,� Treize gave the surprised man a stern look, �you
cannot repeat any of this to anyone. I�m sure you understand.�

�� Williams quickly recovered from his shock and gave Duo an
odd look.

�� If you hated being raped, or so you�ve probably claimed,
you would have gone to the cops,� the teacher said sternly. Treize stared at hi
and Duo�s eyes widened. Pain stabbed at his heart.

�� You�re partially to blame, surely you know that?� Williams
continued, �You were allowed to go as you pleased. If you had screamed, surely
someone would have come to help you. No one would ignore a little kid screaming
for help, but I bet you never did.�

�� The teacher got in Duo�s face and Treize was too shocked by
the man�s cruel words to stop him.

�� If your father made you give him a blowjob, you could have
bit him,� Williams pointed out, glaring back at Treize, �I don�t see why this
boy should be given special treatment above all of my other students just
because he was raped, after all,� his cold brown eyes turned back to Duo, �you
are a man, right?� he smirked, giving
Duo a once over, �Though I can see how someone might be mistaken, looking at
you. But, you are a man, so it isn�t such a big deal. It isn�t like you can get
pregnant. Aren�t you just making a big deal out of noting?� he suggested, �I
mean, even kids have sex drives, that�s just fact, and you�re a teenager now.
When you got older, it was probably consensual, because, as disgusting as
homosexuality is, it isn�t so rare nowadays. You certainly don�t look straight laced, so having sex with
another man isn�t such a big deal for you, is it? Are you just crying rape now
because you played hooky too much?� William�s piercing perusal of his body made
Duo feel dirty and each word tore at him making him doubt himself and the
confidence that Heero and Name had given him, assuring him that his past hadn�t
been his fault.

�� You�re very pretty,� Williams mused, �I can see why so
many men can�t stay away from you. You shouldn�t blame your father and the
people who had sex with you for having basic, biological urges. Take
responsibility for your own problems instead of blaming everyone else!� he
snapped. Panic welled inside of Duo. It was his fault� his� responsibility. Was
it really because of him that he had been raped He had been hearing that his
whole life, but he had wanted to believe Name and Heero so badly� Maybe
Williams was right, maybe he had secretly enjoyed the abuse. It had hurt and it
had been humiliating, but he never once went to the cops about it. No one had
helped him� was that because they had known it was his own problem? But then, why
did Heero and Name tell him differently? He couldn�t deal with the man�s
accusations anymore, true or not and pushed past him, escaping out of the
office. He had to get out, his panic was swelling and he felt like he was being
choked to death again.

�� Watching Duo struggle with his panic attack and then flee
broke Treize out of his stupor and he grabbed Williams, slamming him against
the wall and felt a strong triumph at having wiped that smug look off of the
man�s face, replacing it with shock and just a little bit of fear.

�� What are you-,�

�� Shut the fuck up!� Treize snapped, stealing away any power
or authority that the brunette had, �How dare
you?! No one, no matter their gender or sexuality or age wants to be raped!
Duo isn�t the one who�s wrong, you are! People like you are wrong,
people ho think that rape is just sex.
You�re just as bad as the bastard who raped that child because you don�t even
see rape as a bad thing!� Treize
didn�t wait for the man�s answer, storming out of his office to track Duo down.

�� Treize found Duo in the men�s bathroom, hiding under the
sinks. His bent knees were pressed against his chest, his arms wrapped around
them and his face hidden against his knees. The boy was shaking and rocking
slightly. Treize realized that he was having some sort of emotional break down
and approached him slowly and carefully, kneeling down to make himself smaller.

�� Duo?� he prodded, but the longhaired boy didn�t respond,
his limbs shaking with some sort of suppressed trauma.

�� Duo� he said a bit louder. His paternal instincts were
going wild seeing the slight body so tense and realizing that the boy was
silently crying. He wanted to break Williams and Wes, but one he couldn�t fire
just for being verbally mean and the other he couldn�t find, so all of his
energy was concentrated on helping Duo. Duo�s head shot up and Treize flinched,
worried that he would slam his head into the sink. Duo�s eyes were bloodshot
and he looked ghostly pale.

�� Sir?� Duo murmured. He blushed as
he realized where he was and rubbed at his eyes.

�� Are you alright?� Treize asked softly. Duo shook his head.

�� I-I�m sorry.�

�� For what?� Treize asked in
confusion.

�� For being so weak,� Duo murmured, still shaking, but not
so hard. Treize smiled disarmingly.

�� I�m not Wes, Duo, if you need to cry, just go ahead and do
it. Besides, I�m the one who needs to apologize. I shouldn�t have let him talk
to you like that you certainly didn�t deserve it.�

�� I keep hearing that it�s my fault,� Duo said tiredly,
�I�ve always thought that it had to be my fault, though it still hurts being
told that. But, now Heero and Name and Une and you are all telling me that what
I�ve always believed is wrong, that it�s not my fault. I don�t know what to
believe anymore,� he muttered. Treize sat on the floor, his long legs hurting
from crouching.

�� Duo, you were raped. Someone else hurt you, you didn�t do
anything wrong. You�re never responsible
for the actions of others.�

�� Duo bit his lip, wanting very badly to believe that, but it
was difficult. He had believed his entire life that he had deserved being
raped, but he didn�t want to believe that anymore. What he wanted was to go
home and forget everything that had just happened. He didn�t want to be
shrouded in darkness anymore.

�� He won�t come near you anymore, I promise,� Treize tried
to assure him.

�� He�s wrong,� Duo decided, �Even when Heero had hit me
once, I never hated him for it. If I had to make the choice between living
without Wes and living without Heero, right now, I�d choose being without Wes.
As much as I consider Wes my only real father I still hate him for what he did
to me. Even when my body enjoyed it, I hated him. If it was my fault, I could
have changed things made them different, right?� Duo realized.

�� Treize nodded, offering Duo a hand, which he took as the
two men got to their feet.

�� I�m going to find Heero,� Duo decided.

�� Alright, I�ll see you tomorrow, then, don�t worry about
anything, ok, kiddo,� Treize ruffled the boy�s hair and was relieved to find a
small smile on Duo�s face.

��

�� Duo!�

�� The violet eyed boy swore as he heard Wufei call his name.

�� What now?!� he
couldn�t help but think. He had no idea where Heero was or if Une had brought
him to Treize�s office yet, but after the long, emotional day, he just wanted
to go home and retreat to his room. Why was Wufei even at school this late
anyway? He spun and glared at Wufei as he ran towards him.

�� What?!� he snapped, feeling a bit guilty as the Chinese
boy flinched. Wufei fidgeted under the longhaired boy�s stare.

�� I just� I want to apologize,� he explained, �I�m sorry for
how I treated you, chasing you around, but I was desperate! I know that�s no
excuse, but I was. I thought that if I just kept at it, I could make you love
me, even if it made me look like an idiot. I�m sorry for what I said at the
hospital. I was angry and confused and said something really horrible about
something I didn�t understand. I�m still attracted to you. I mean, you�re
really beautiful, but� I realized that you�re not the one I really love. There�s
someone I care about a lot, but I can�t see him anymore. I shouldn�t have
transferred those feelings onto you. Mostly� I�m sorry
for what happened to you. That man should be burning hell right now, not
walking around as a free man. There�s no justice in what happened to you, but I
still want him to pay. I�m sorry that you had to lose your innocence.�

�� Heero paused as he heard Duo and Wufei talking. He had
spent the last couple of hours wandering around the school aimlessly, not
wanting to be too far from Duo if something happened. The fear of Wes coming
for Duo was too real in his mind and he kept remembering the panic attacks Duo
had suffered in the hospital when he had been left alone. He really wished that
Duo had accepted his mother�s offer for a cell phone; it would have helped his
nerves a lot. At the end of the two hours Duo had told him to wait, he had gone
to Treize�s office, only, to his surprise, to find it empty. Fortunately, he
hadn�t had to walk far before he had heard Duo�s voice. He felt a little angry
that Wufei had waited here until he could corner Duo, but realized that the
apology was necessary for both Wufei and Duo. Also, Wufei�s confession that he
wasn�t really in love with Duo was a
godsend for Heero�s heart. He knew that he probably didn�t have a chance with
Duo, but now that he no longer had a rival, it made things hurt just a tiny bit
less.

�� You�re forgiven,� he heard Duo say, �And I told you
before, I�d be glad to be your friend. As annoying and stubborn as you are,
you�re still a better person than most of my other classmates and I think that
I could like you if you stopped acting so weird towards me.�

�� Heero took the chance to peek around the corner of the
hallway that was successfully hiding him and saw Duo smile bitterly, the
expression tearing at his heart. He really hated that smile sometimes.

�� But, you�re wrong about my innocence. I was never meant
for butterflies, Wufei. I was always dirty.�

�� Duo�s words made Heero feel sick inside and he wanted to
protest and tell Duo that he wasn�t dirty, not now, not ever, but he waited for
Wufei to leave before he approached them.

�� Duo looked over at Heero in shock as he appeared around the
corner and he realized that he had been listening to him and Wufei. He replayed
their conversation in his head, but couldn�t find anything that would cause
Heero to look so sad.

�� Heero, I was looking for you!� Duo exclaimed.

�� You know,� Heero said, �innocence is for sentimental fools
and children, you�re meant for something much more beautiful.�

�� Duo blushed deeply at his words and even deeper as Heero
grabbed his hand, not letting go as he led him out the door.

�� Duo and Heero came home to find, to Duo�s annoyance, that
Treize had called Name and told her what Williams had said to him. Both Heero
and Name were understandably pissed off, especially since Treize had told her
that Williams had not threatened Duo, so there was nothing that he could do
besides give Williams a warning. Name was even more pissed when she had learned
that Duo had had a panic attack because of the man, but Duo�s assurance that he
didn�t really believe what the man had said had gone a long way to soothing
Heero and his mother�s anger. Duo had made Name promise not to retaliate and
that had promptly ended the matter, letting the small, strange family to sit
down to a peaceful, home cooked meal.

�� The next day wasn�t much different from the previous. Duo
and Heero went to school early so Duo could pick up his history assignment from
Treize and walked to their first class, meeting Quatre, Trowa, and Wufei along
the way. Duo was nervous about his history homework. Treize had assured him
that he had to hand in his homework to him, not Williams, but it was still a
lot of work and Duo had worried that Williams wouldn�t give him his make-up
wok, but he would have been in serious trouble if he had refused to help Duo
catch up. Duo felt like a coward, being scared of a teacher and didn�t want to
cower from the man. So, even when Williams skipped over Duo in class and called
on him when they spoke about things he had missed, calling him an idiot when he
didn�t know the answer, he pretended that it didn�t hurt.

��

�� Heero grit his teeth when he heard Williams call Duo a
moron. The class was brutal, everyone knew that Williams was cruelly signaling
Duo out, but no one was doing anything about it. Heero had never seen a student
being bullied y a teacher before. He had beat up a few teachers in his years,
but he had never had such an urge to hurt a teacher before. He watched Duo stay
strong through it and decided to stay strong, too.

�� Duo patiently waited after his music class for Heero to
come out of his metal shop class. The day, with the exception of History, had
passed by rather quickly. Having lunch with his four friends had been the perfect
balm before dealing with Williams. There had been a delay for some reason, but
Trowa and Quatre were moving back in with them Friday and he felt rather excited
about that. He just had to survive the huge amount of make up work he had to do
for Williams that was weighing down his book bag first.

�� Duo?� a soft voice said from behind him. Duo turned and
smiled at Nurse Po.

�� Hi, Ms. Po,� he greeted. The woman seemed to want to look
away from him, but she held his gaze. When she realized that he wasn�t going to
snap at her, she relaxed.

�� I�m not bothering you, am I?�

�� Duo shook his head.

�� I�m just waiting for a friend.�

�� Sally sighed deeply, gathering her courage.

�� I�m really sorry for what I did. I knew you were being
hurt and I kept quiet about because I was too much of a coward,� she said
bitterly, �because of me, you were hurt and your life was in danger. That�s in
excusable, especially for a person in my position.�

�� Duo tried to smile assuredly at her.

�� I�m not going to lie and say that it�s ok, because it
isn�t,� he said and Sally looked crestfallen, �Your choice did hurt me and it
is your job to help people, but I don�t lame you for making that choice. If I
believed that it was your fault, even though your life was in danger, I�d have
to believe everyone who�s ever said it was my fault for being abused, just
because I was too afraid to fight back and I don�t want to believe in that
anymore. Someone threatened your life and you were cared and, as much as I was
a bit bitter at you for not doing anything, I understand how scary being in
that position is. You protected yourself and you�re alive because of it. If
anyone calls you weak for doing that, they obviously don�t get it. Sometimes,
the bravest thing you can do is protect yourself. Or at least, that�s what
people keep telling me,� Duo said sheepishly, rubbing the back of his head. Sally
smiled softly at him.

�� I�m glad to see that you are alright and I am really
sorry.�

�� Duo nodded.

�� I forgive you,� he told her, watching as she walked away,
not hearing Heero come up behind him.

�� What did she want?� he asked. Duo was very proud of
himself that he didn�t show how startled he was by jumping. He shrugged.

�� She wanted to know how I was feeling. The last time I had
seen her, I was really sick,� he explained. It wasn�t a total lie and he didn�t
want Heero to know about what had happened between him and Sally. He was
already scared about Heero going after Williams, he didn�t need to add another
name to Heero�s growing black list.

�� Suddenly, Heero�s eyes narrowed and he growled low in his
throat like a dog. Duo turned and saw Zechs, just as tall and imposing as he
had always been, and clearly unaffected by the chaos he had caused, walking out
of one of the classrooms with some other sophomores. Duo watched him carefully,
realizing that he hadn�t really seen or thought of Zechs since he and his
friend had tricked him.

�� I�m going to fucking kill him!� Heero snarled, making a
lunge for the silver haired bully, but Duo grabbed his arm and held him back.
Considering how weak Duo still was, Heero could have easily broken from his
grip, but he let Duo hold him back.

�� Heero, don�t!� Duo pleaded.

�� Why?!� the Japanese boy snapped, but didn�t make another
go for the other boy.

�� He hurt you, raped you, he�s the reason why I found out in
the first place, why shouldn�t I beat the shit out of him?!�

�� But it turned out for the best,� Duo pointed out, �If you
hadn�t found out, all that other stuff wouldn�t have happened. Yes, it hurts
and I�ll always hate him for what he did, but in the end, I ended up safe and
with you, didn�t I? He may have made my life in school a living hell, but I�m done with him. I can live without
getting revenge on Zechs, but I can�t live without you!�

�� Heero looked into Duo�s frantic, deep violet eyes and saw
the anguish there. He realized that his friend was right. If he beat up Zechs,
he would be expelled and Zechs would win. More than that, he would end up
hurting Duo. Duo needed him and he wasn�t going to do anything to take that away from him, no matter how good beating
Zechs Merquise to a pulp would feel. He also didn�t want to leave Duo in the
school alone with Zechs for any reason. He wouldn�t take Duo out of the hands
of one rapist and put him in another. He knew that Duo could defend himself,
but he often didn�t and that scared him.

�� Alright, no going after Zechs,� Heero agreed, �but I�m
only doing it because it would upset you.�

�� Duo blushed. Zechs noticed them and he smirked smugly at
Heero. Heero flipped him off and felt quite smug himself as Zechs� smirk
disappeared to a look of anger. Heero threw his arm across Duo�s shoulder in a
silent statement that he wasn�t going to let anything happen and Duo wasn�t
Zechs� property, not now, not ever. Intense fury filled Zechs� eyes. Heero�s
arm tingled at feeling Duo�s form. Duo blushed deeply at the contact, feeling
the warmth from Heero�s body warm his as well. His violet eyes met Zechs� icy
ones and he froze.

�� Three years ago

�� Duo
lounged in the hallow end of the school pool. It was spring which meant that
the sixth and seventh graders and to take swimming for gym class. They had been
at it for three weeks now and when they had started, Duo had been terrified.
Though he lived in Maine,
he had never swum or even seen a body of water larger than a pond and it scared
him. He also didn�t want anyone to know that he didn�t know how to swim, mostly
because all of his other classmates had learned when they were toddlers.
However, if there was one thing that he was good at, besides giving blowjobs,
it was picking something up very quickly. Just by watching his classmates, he
had learned the art of not drowning in a day, but he still preferred staying
the shallow end, it made him feel safer.

�� That
first day faced with the huge pool, Duo had been scared about taking his
t-shirt off, but the teacher had forced him. To his shock, no one, not even the
teacher, said anything about his scars. He wondered if anyone had even noticed
them. He was just glad that the teacher had told him not to take his hair down. He found that he really did enjoy the
water. It felt like he was floating and it made the pains he usually had go
away. Unlike his other classmates that raced and dove in the pool, he was
content to just float peacefully. He did so now, closing his eyes and letting
the world pass him by.

�� What�s
the matter, fairy, all these half naked men not enticing enough for you?� a
cruel, jeering voice sneered, breaking him out of his relaxed state. He tried
to swim away, but Zechs grabbed him and whatever horrible insult he had to say
was lost and garbled as the tall boy dunked his head under the water. Duo�s
arms flailed, trying to get purchase of something and scraped against the rough
side of the pool, the chlorine stinging the cuts that were now slowly bleeding
into the water. Despite being in the shallow end and his feet touching the
bottom of the pool, Zechs had a large, firm hand on his head, keeping him
submerged and making it impossible for him to get his head above water. He
thrashed, trying to get Zechs away from him but the older boy was relentless,
keeping Duo under the water for an entire minute until Duo�s oxygen starved
body tried to breathe and he swallowed water.

�� Pure
luck had Zechs release him at that precise moment and Duo latched onto the edge
of the pool, pulling his body up,. He coughed and
sputtered violently, throwing up water. His bleary eyes found the teacher�s,
but the man just looked away and didn�t say a word as Zechs swam off to join
one of the races and Duo clung to the pool, half out of the water limply,
breathing harshly, his cuts stinging in the brutal sun.

�� Three
months later

�� Duo ran
as fast as he could from the silver haired boy chasing him. He turned corner
after corner past teachers and other students. He made it halfway to the
nurse�s office before Zechs grabbed his legs and slammed him to the floor. Duo
gasped as the air rushed out of his lungs.

�� What�s
the matter, bitch, don�t you think that you would look gorgeous with some earrings� Zechs teased, a black stapler in his
hand. People, adults and kids alike, had started to gather around them with
interest.

�� Don�t
touch me!� Duo yelled, but Zechs only grinned.

�� Duo
shrieked in pain as the staple pierced his ear. He cried, curling up into a
ball, clutching at his ear as blood dripped down his neck. He heard Zechs
laughing through his pain.

�� Duo broke Zechs� gaze and lightly touched the small,
white scar on his left earlobe.

�� You ok?� Heero asked, worried about the faraway look in
his eye. Duo nodded and walked towards the library, not looking back at Zechs. �

�� Heero left Duo to his history work to roam the halls again.
Duo had tried to convince him not to stick around like he had yesterday, but
Heero refused to leave, giving the excuse that it would be� waste of gas, though they both knew that he
was fooling no one. As Heero wandered the halls, he decided that he would need
to get a hobby, maybe he could stay in the library and pretend that he was
reading a book while he watched Duo, though that seemed a bit too� stalker-like,
even for him. He loved watching Duo without all the guarding Duo did when he
knew that someone was watching him, but he would probably die of embarrassment
if he was ever caught, and if he was caught,
he would have to stop doing it, which was unacceptable.

�� Heero noticed twin footsteps with his own
and turned, stopping his stride as he saw Treize approach him.

�� Hello, Mr. Yuy,� Treize greeted. Heero sighed.

�� Am I in trouble, sir?� He asked wearily. In his lifetime,
he had never been approached by an authority figure over something good.

�� Don�t worry, Yuy,� Treize said with an amused smirk, �for
once, you aren�t in trouble.�

�� Heero gave him a petulant look.

�� I just wanted to tell you that I think it�s really great
that you and your mother have decided to take Duo in and take care of him.�

�� Heero shrugged, not used to the praise and feeling just a
little bit uncomfortable.

�� It�s no big deal. He�s my best friend and he was in trouble.�

�� That doesn�t mean much to a lot of people,� Treize pointed
out, �not a lot of people would be able to get over what happened to him and
even fewer would want to deal with it on a regular basis. Duo needs a read
friend right now and you�re giving it to him. It�s very admirable.�

�� He�s my best friend,� Heero repeated, �and, like you said,
he needed me. What�s so hard about that?�

�� Treize smiled as Heero turned and continued down the hall.

�� Heero walked in what felt like a giant circle, going
through each hallway over and over, keeping an eye on his watch. When he reached
the teacher�s lounge for the third time, he heard Williams� voice and paused.

�� I�m just saying that I don�t see why he bothered to show
his face here again,� the history teacher was saying. Heero�s blood turned cold
and anger made his heart pound as he realized that he was talking about Duo. He
stood in front of the open doorway, not caring if he was seen, though Williams
didn�t notice him there. Williams was talking to another male teacher, one that
Heero didn�t recognize, but was nodding at what Williams was saying.

�� He should have just kept his mouth shut about the rape and
taken it like a man, quietly and bravely,� Williams said with a snort, �I
mean, really, it�s shameful to all of us to have to hear that crap! No one wants to hear it!�

�� Heero couldn�t take one more hateful word and strode into
the teacher�s lounge, shoving Williams hard enough to make him stumble. The
other teacher watched Heero with wide eyes and back away from him.

�� What the-,� Williams snapped, �damn kid,
get the hell out of here!�

�� Heero, not intimidated by the man, shoved him again,
harder, and Williams swore as he banged his ankle into a cabinet behind him.

�� If someone doesn�t like something,� Heero snarled, pining
Williams to the cabinet so he couldn�t run away, �they should say so, be it
corrupt politicians or discrimination or rape! It�s their basic human right! Isn�t that what you Americans are always
preaching, that people in this country have the right to stand up and say
�no�?! You�re a fucking teacher! How
can you not respect, not understand something
so simple as another human being�s rights?! You�re
just disgusting as that� man,� Heero spat, �disregarding someone�s right to say no!� he let go of Williams
and took a step back. The other teacher looked away from Heero in embarrassment
and, Heero hoped, shame.

�� Respecting others as humans is more important than
anything else you could possibly teach,� he murmured and stalked out of the
room before he let his anger take control of him and to hide the tears that desperately
wanted to spill form his eyes.

�� Duo lay wide awake, unable to sleep. He had been sleeping
shockingly well lately, so it was annoying that it was one in the morning and
he was still wide awake. After, somehow, managing to complete his history make
up work, to Williams� annoyance, he was tired, but his mind just wouldn�t shut
off. He was thinking, oddly, not of Wes or Zechs or even Heero but his cats.
Toby, Shiva, Sammy, Angel, Cassy, Patches, and Cotton� he wondered if they were
ok. He hadn�t seen them in weeks and he as terribly worried. He knew that it
was silly, he had a human family now,
but for the longest time, his feline one was all that he had. He remembered
that night, when he had been raped and the black cat that had kept him from
going insane or killing himself. He had a woman and boy that cared about him
now, but he still missed their tiny, warm bodies and yearned to feel their soft
fur, hear their comforting, familiar mewls. He turned on his side, curling into
a ball under the covers. He felt like he had abandoned them. He knew that he
had had no choice at the time. He had been sick and hurt and now he couldn�t
take them with him anymore.

�� Duo didn�t know why Name and Heero didn�t have any pets,
they could have allergies or didn�t like animals or didn�t have the patience
for a pet, but no matter what the reason, he felt like he couldn�t ask to pick
up his little furry family. He already had so much and he was too afraid to ask
for anything no matter how much he wanted it. He also didn�t think that Name
would approve of seven little beasts roaming her beautiful home. Still, he
could imagine how happy they would be, even Toby, in his comfy bed. Name had
picked up one stray cat, so why did all the others have to be cold and hungry
when he was warm and full? It wasn�t fair and he couldn�t help but feel guilty
about abandoning them like that. He sighed and rolled out of bed. Pulling on a
pair of jeans and a warm sweater, he went downstairs, grabbing his newly bought
winter jacket. He had fifty dollars in his jeans pocket,
though he knew that he wouldn�t need all of it. Name had given it to him in
case he ever needed it and she wasn�t there. He had tried to refuse the
allowance at first, but she had made it clear that she didn�t want him walking around
with no money and he could either never leave the house alone or take the
money. He put on his sneakers and listened carefully, but he only heard
silence. He opened the door and closed it behind him as quietly as he could,
alone for the first time, ignoring the frantic, terrified beating of his heart.

�� When Heero went to wake Duo up the next morning, he paused
outside the door at the sound of crying. He quietly opened the door and entered
the room. Duo was hidden under the heavy blankets and Heero gently brought them
down. His longhaired friend was curled up into a tight little ball, wearing his
sneakers and clothes. His eyes were tightly closed and he was sobbing, a
terrible gut wrenching sound, dark circles under his eyes.

�� Duo, what�s wrong� he asked in alarm, sitting at the edge
of the bed. Duo blinked up at him, his eyes blood shot and tired and Heero
realized that he hadn�t slept.

�� Heero?� Duo murmured, rubbing
uselessly at his eyes, even as more tears streamed down his cheeks.

�� What�s wrong?� Heero repeated, brushing Duo�s messy bangs
out of his eyes. Duo sniffed, trying to get himself under control, but it
didn�t work.

�� I-I don�t know,� he said looking lost in his tears and
messy hair, �I just feel so� bad��

�� Depressed?� Heero tried to translate and his heart
clenched as Duo nodded.

�� I had a panic attack last night,� Duo whispered as though
it was a horrible secret, but didn�t elaborate or tell Heero about his
venturing outside and back onto the streets by himself, �after that� I just can�t
stop crying.�

�� Do you want a hug?� Heero asked softly, not wanting to
touch the boy without his permission.

�� Don�t ask me that,� Duo murmured. Heero felt another painful
clench around his heart.

�� Alright,� Heero said, feeling depressed himself at being
shot down. Duo shook his head.

�� N-no, I mean you don�t have to ask, ever. Yes, I�d like a
hug,� Duo sat up. The pain in Heero�s heart lifted and he wrapped his arms
around his friend, rubbing his slim back. Duo hugged him back tightly. They
staid like that for several minutes as Duo finally got his rampant emotions
under control. Heero felt hot, feeling Duo�s wonderful body in his arms. He
loved him so much, his heart burned with it, but he could never speak those
words to him. It, mostly, was not because he was afraid of being rejected or
scaring Duo away with his homosexuality, it was because of all that had
happened. Duo had had enough stress in his life; he didn�t need his best friend
confessing to be in love with him on top of everything else. It was like Treize
had said; Duo needed him, just as much, if not more, than Heero needed him. In
moments like this, when he could feel Duo�s soft heat and feel him shaking
pressed against him, he felt that he could
tell him, but it was Duo�s tears and how tightly he was hugging him back
that mad e him keep silent. He stroked his long silken hair and opened his
mouth to suggest that they skip school for the day. Duo was too tired,
stretched too thin, and he probably needed a day off, but Duo pulled away
before he could say anything, rubbing roughly at his red eyes.

�� Thanks, Heero, but we better get going or we�ll be late.�

�� Heero sighed heavily and let Duo get off the bed and go
into the bathroom. He went downstairs for breakfast, ignoring how hot his chest
felt and how his heart was still beating wildly.

�� Hey, Mom,� he greeted Name as she stood at the counter
making coffee. She nodded at him, still not quite awake. Heero poured himself
some cereal and at the table, but just ended up staring at the bowl, thinking.

�� His entire life, he had known, more like expected, really,
that he would pick up his mother�s responsibilities at the company when he
turned 25. He had always used this fate as an excuse not to try harder at
school or show any initiative to seek out another career. It had been his fall
back, his destiny; he had accepted that a long time ago. He had no real
business sense and had never paid attention when his mother had tried to
explain how the company operated, but he supposed that he would just pick things
up as he went. He thought about what had happened to Duo, how he had been raped
and abused and how no one had helped him. Even now, if he went to the police,
they wouldn�t really do what was best for him. Catching the bad guy, even if he
went to jail, wasn�t justice. There really wasn�t a true justice with something
like this. What had been done to Duo could never be undone; he would always
remember and be haunted by his past, no matter what happened to Wes. The
government would just shove Duo into some foster home or orphanage like a bad
secret where he would be neglected, not given the affection and care that he
needed in order to heal. At his age and with his history, it was highly
unlikely that Duo would ever be adopted and if he was, it would probably be by someone who wouldn�t understand him or
what he went through. If it was his destiny to take hold of the Yuy
Corporation, couldn�t he make the best of it? There were other kids like Duo
out there, beaten and starving, and who had nowhere to turn. If he had to
control his family�s business, he didn�t want to just make business deals and
accumulate more wealth, he wanted to help people like they were helping Duo
now.

�� Heero, stop staring at your food and eat already!� Name
scolded, taking a large gulp of her coffee, and you have a doctor�s appointment
after school.�

�� Heero groaned loudly and she glared back at him.

�� Don�t give me that, Heero, it�s
just a check-up. Besides, cold season is coming, so if you don�t go now, I
won�t be able to get another appointment for months.�

�� Heero rolled his eyes.

�� Like that�s something
to worry about,� he muttered grumpily. He hated
going to the doctor�s.

�� Duo will have to get a different ride home since I�ll be
in Boston,� she
said to herself, thinking.

�� That�s ok, I can just walk home,� Duo said as he walked
into the kitchen.

�� Absolutely not!� Name said
sternly before Heero could even open his mouth to protest.

�� But it�s not even a mile,� Duo pointed out, �I can make it
back here on foot.�

�� Name shook her head.

�� No is no, Duo, It�s too cold out there with your anemia to
be walking around. I don�t care if that�s how you did it before or if you�ve
lived on the streets during this climate, it�s no reason to risk things now and
there is no way I�m letting you walk around town by yourself with that� man still
out there! Name�s tone was stern, but her eyes were soft with worry.

�� Just call a taxi,� Heero offered.

�� I�m not calling a goddamn taxi for a five minute drive,
Heero!� Duo snapped, �Besides, Wes probably knows where I am and if he had any
intention of trying to get me back, he would have made a move already! He has a
lot of powerful people in his pocket and he�s not stupid. He knows when he�s
beaten. Besides, there�s no way he�d mess with you guys, so he�d wait until you
two were on vacation before making a move. If he didn�t understand that, he
could snatch me from a taxi just as easily as off the street,� Duo said
heatedly.

�� You�ll take the bus,� Name said firmly. Heero wanted to
protest, but Duo nodded and gave Heero an annoyed look.

�� You can�t keep me in a plastic bubble my whole life.�

�� I can try,� Heero grumbled.

�� I�ll give you money for the bus and a spare key to the
house,� Name told Duo, �now, let�s stop arguing and enjoy breakfast.

�� As the three rushed out of the house for work and school,
none of them saw the limousine pulling up the street.

�� Duo had ridden the public bus when meeting johns a few
times, so it wasn�t a big deal getting a ride home. He only panicked a couple
of times namely when an elderly gentleman had sat next to him, close enough
that their arms had touched. He knew it was silly to be afraid of an old man,
but he hadn�t just catered to men middle aged or less and the man had made him
feel uncomfortable. Tings had gotten bad when the bus had hit a bump and the
man fell onto him but he had managed to keep from having a full fledged panic
attack.

�� As Duo made it to the house, he briefly took note of the limousine
parked across the street, but didn�t think anything of it. In the past, for his
won safety, he would have wanted to check it out, but right now it wasn�t
bothering him, he just walked by it and used his key to open the front door.

�� Duo had enough time to put away his back pack and read the
sweet note from Name in the kitchen that told him to have a fun day and help
himself to some of the pudding in the refrigerator before someone knocked on
the door. He immediately went on alert. He was quite sure that it wasn�t Treize
this time, but he wasn�t quite as scared as he had been that day, just cautious
and opened the door. Whatever he might have expected to be at the door, an
exquisitely beautiful blonde girl with blue eyes like fine crystal was not one
of them. Everything about the girl was high class, her hundred thousand dollar
blue dress and shoes, the diamond ring on her finger, her perfect, Barbie doll
figure, her pale and equally perfect complexion and facial features that
surpassed those of a super model, her manicured nails, even the way she somehow
managed to look down her nose at him, despite the fact that they were almost
exactly the same height. If Duo had been straight, he would
have fallen for her on the spot, but he wasn�t and he only felt dirty and
insignificant standing in front of her.

�� Do you have any idea whose house this is?� she demanded in
an elegant British accent. Duo mused that if Disney princesses were real, this
girl would be among them. That was what she reminded him of, a British
princess. He realized that her question wasn�t really a question, but a threat.
He wanted to run off and to call Name, their eyes meeting in a violent clash
and he felt very scared of whatever it was burning in the girl�s stare, but he
stayed strong and nodded. The girl�s condescending look strengthened and she
appeared disgusted at both his appearance and gall.

�� Then you also must know that the most powerful family in the world
will do to you when they discover that you�re breaking into their house!
Who are you anyway?�

�� Duo froze under her accusing gaze. Just who was he anyway?
He had asked himself that very same question every since he had started to live
here. He was Heero�s best friend, but was there more to that? He wasn�t a son
or a brother or even simply a house guest, or at least he hoped that Heero and
Name didn�t see him that way. He was more like a stray cat that they wee trying
to domesticate. He had the distinct feeling that it he told this girl even a fraction of the truth, she would disembowel him, then
call the cops. So, he lied. It wasn�t that hard, he had been doing it fr so long, it came naturally to
him.

�� I�m a friend of Heero�s. His mother gave me the key to the
house. I�m supposed to come over here after school since they won�t be home for
another hour,� he said. The girl made a small snorting noise that somehow
managed to sound elegant and flicked her long hair over her shoulder.

�� So, in other words, you�re nobody.�

�� Duo blinked at the girl as she pushed past him and strode into
the house. He was shocked by her intrusion, but quickly shook himself out of it
and chased after her. He found her in the kitchen, looking around with a
disappointed expression.

�� Who are you?� Duo demanded. He debated the pros and cons
of calling the cops on the girl, but decided that, if he couldn�t even deal
with one petit girl, he had hit a pretty low point.

�� My name is Relena Peacecraft,� the girl said haughtily,
�you�ve probably heard of me.�

�� Duo stared at her blankly and had to struggle not to smile
as she blushed darkly, but quickly composed herself again.

�� I�m Heero�s fianc�,� she said with a smirk, holding out
her hand so Duo could see the diamond ring on her ring finger more clearly.

�� Agony ripped through Duo�s heart sharply and his vision
went gray for a second, the color bleeding from him. He found himself looking in
the girl�s eyes and knew that she was telling truth. Heero was going to get
married? His vision swam with tears that wanted to be released, but he refused
to give the girl the satisfaction. At that moment, he didn�t know what hurt
more, that Heero had a fianc�, or that Heero hadn�t ever told him, but his
stomach tightened and churned painfully and he wanted to throw up. As much as
it hurt, that Heero was engaged to this beautiful, high class girl wasn�t a
shock. She was every straight man�s dream come true, of course Heero would want
to marry her. It struck him hard; his Heero had never been his at all. All this
time, he had been this woman�s� He wanted to laugh at his own stupidity. Of
course Heero had never been his, as much as he had wanted him to be. He had always
known that he would only be a good friend in Heero�s eyes, so why did this hurt
so much? Why was the act of containing his tears so damn hard?

�� Relena watched the strange boy struggle with her news and
her smirk grew. She didn�t know what his relationship was with Heero, but there
was something about him that she hated. He was very pretty with a punkish look, his jagged bangs, worn eyes, and body that
looked perfectly suited for jeans and leather, but his violet eyes and pale
skin, not to mention his silky hair, gave him a sort of ethereal beauty, yet
there was still something about him that she couldn�t put her finger on�

�� Well, it doesn�t really matter if you know me or not,�
Relena said, �I simply don�t have time to chat with servants. I�m sure I can
find Heero�s room on my own.�

�� Relena tried to get past Duo again, but he slammed his hand
on the door frame, blocking her exit. Relena�s blue eyes widened as though she
couldn�t believe he had done that.

�� Does Name know you�re here?� he asked in a clipped voice.
He felt anger mix with his anguish and create a sickening emotion he had never
felt before.

�� Excuse me?� Relena asked, her face growing hot with anger.
No one had ever been so disrespectful to her before!

�� I mean, if you really are engaged to Heero, Name must know
you�re here, or are you the one entering her house without permission?� Duo demanded.
He couldn�t remember the last time he had felt this angry and was scared of it
at the same time he relished the new found strength, as dark as it was.

�� Don�t you dare call Mrs. Yuy that!�
Relena hissed. She and Heero had been engaged for two years and his mother had
never let her call her by her first name!

�� Duo narrowed his eyes at her.

�� I�m allowed to call her that, in fact, she insists on it.�

�� Relena�s hands curled into fists.

�� Does she know that you�re have or not?� Duo pressed. Fianc�
or not, she was still an invader in the only true home he had ever known, his
sanctuary, and he wanted her gone.

�� No, but she doesn�t need
to know. I can come and go without her permission. That�s why I�m here, to
surprise them.�

�� And you need to go into Heero�s room to do that?� Duo
asked, not believing her story.

�� It�s none of your business!�

�� Duo�s grip on the door frame tightened.

�� Get the fuck out of here,� Duo ordered, his voice low and
quiet, but it made Relena take a step back and her eyes widened.

�� Excuse me, what did
you just say?�

�� I said �get the fuck out�. I don�t care why you�re here, you�re the one breaking in, not me. You don�t have permission
to be here, not from Name and not from me, so get out.�

�� Relena laughed at the absurdity of the scrawny boy telling
her what to do.

�� No, I don�t think I will. It�s not like you can just make me leave!� she pointed out. As much of a brute as this boy was, he wouldn�t hurt her, not her.

�� Duo sighed and, with his other hand, he picked up the phone
on the counter next to him and started to dial.

�� Who are you calling, the police Do you honestly think that
they can help you?�

�� No� Duo said calmly, �I�m calling Name. I�m sure she�d
want to know your reasons for being here.�

�� Relena paled as they both realized that Duo now had the
upper hand.

�� Fine,� she conceded with some illusion of pride, �I only
wanted to speak to Heero anyway, but since he�s not here, there�s no reason for
me to stay,� she said as if leaving had been her idea all along. Duo let go of
the door frame, allowing her to pass, but he followed her to the door. Relena
gave him one last dirty look before she left. Duo closed the door, locked it,
and keyed in the password to turn on the security system, just in case. It felt
so stupid to be afraid of a girl, but it made him feel better having the
security system and locked door between him and her. He had been lucky, really
lucky, he realized. She was obviously wealthy and powerful and it had only been
her fear of Name that had kept her from squashing him like a bug.

�� Duo took two deep breaths and
all but ran to his bedroom, locking the door behind him. He slid down the door
and sat on the carpet. He wrapped his arms around his knees, becoming a tight,
miserable ball. He finally let his tears fall and he was shocked by the amount
he had to shed. His heart pounded and clenched inside of him. He had always
been waiting for something to happen. Things had been too good and he never got to keep anything so good.
Still, the news that Heero was going to get married hurt too much. How far away
was the wedding, years, months, weeks, even? Why hadn�t Name and Heero told
him? Why wasn�t Relena living with Heero? If he had Heero�s love, he would
never want to be apart from him. He didn�t have it now, but he still hated
being away from him. He had told Heero everything about himself, but he didn�t
know that much about Heero. He had thought that one day Heero would return the
gesture, but Relena�s invasion into his life had forced him to ask, what else
was Heero not telling him? Feelings of betrayal and loneliness threatened to
overwhelm him. Was this what Heero had felt when he had found out that he was a
whore It was a terrible feeling. It felt like his insides were tearing apart
and the tears still wouldn�t stop. Eventually, the silent tears became sobs and
Duo buried his face in his arms. He had always believed that he would never
have a chance with Heero, but he had had his dreams. Now, he knew that, not
only did he like girls, he was getting married! His dreams were gone and that
hurt so badly.

�� Crying there on the floor, he felt pathetic, like a broken
coward. It seemed like all he was doing lately was wallowing in self pity. So
what if the dream was gone, what use were dreams to him? But, maybe that was
why it hurt so badly, it had been his first real dream, the mere possibility that Heero could fall for him. He
wanted stop feeling. He wanted to break something. Instead, he walked to the
bathroom to wash the tears from his face.

�� Heero came home while Duo was in the shower and waited for
him to come into the kitchen. When Duo finally made an appearance, he said
�hi�, but after that, couldn�t look Heero in the eye and acted skittish. His
eyes were red and he acted subdued, Heero could tell that he had been crying and
with the way that Duo was avoiding him, it was something bad. Heero watched as
Duo grabbed things from the cupboard to start dinner with. It was probably
going to be spaghetti. Name was teaching him how to cook, but the whole thing
was an alien concept to Duo and the only thing he could make with confidence,
or at least without asking Name �is this right� at least five times, was
anything with pasta in it. Fortunately, what Duo did understand and could make turned out well, just like anything
else he learned. Heero watched him carefully, taking
note of how tense he looked, as though he wanted to run.

�� What�s wrong?� he finally asked and saw Duo flinch.

�� There�s nothing wrong,� the longhaired boy denied, but
Heero wasn�t buying it.

�� Are you still mad about this morning? I know that I�m
acting a little bit over protective, but I finally just got you back and I�ll
do anything to make sure that you
stay and that evil man never gets his hands on you again, even if that means
you have to be mad at me,� Heero said. Duo closed his eyes at the sweet words,
feeling his tears want to form in his eyes, but he had cried enough today already.
This was how Heero was. It didn�t
make sense to him, Heero keeping his engagement a secret. In the hospital, he
had promised that he would never leave him. Would he really go back on that
promise now? He still needed him! Of course, that wasn�t fair to Heero. He
would always need him, but he couldn�t hold onto him forever. Still even though
Heero had never told him about Relena, Duo didn�t think there was any malicious
intent behind it. There had to be a good reason behind it. Duo just didn�t
really want to know what it was. But, for as hurt as he was at Heero not
sharing such a huge part of his life, he wasn�t angry at him. He was a bit
annoyed at Heero�s overprotective behavior, and hurt over the engagement, but
he wasn�t mad, never mad. He was angry at Relena for intruding into his life
and destroying his dreams, he was mad at himself for having those dreams in the
first place, hell, he was even mad at Wes for creating a situation where he
would need such dreams to have a small glimmer of happiness in his life, but he
wasn�t made at Heero.

�� I�m not mad at you, Heero,� he said with a small smile.
Heero relaxed.

�� Then what�s wrong?� he repeated, �Why are you avoiding
me?�

�� Duo had to look away again. He wanted to pretend that the
last twenty-four hours had never happened, but he also wanted Heero to tell him
the truth. He sighed. Their friendship had survived because of trust. His lies
to Heero had almost destroyed them, he wouldn�t let
this finish the job.

�� Earlier today,� he started, but the sound of the doorbell
interrupted him.

�� Hold that thought,� Heero said, running to answer the
door. Somehow, even before Heero opened the door, even before he spoke, Duo
knew who it was.

�� What are you doing here, Relena?�

�� Three years ago, Relena had been the happiest that she had
ever been. Her parents had been together and she had been engaged, ready to
marry in only a few years. Her fianc� had been her best friend of two years,
now five years, Heero Yuy. Her father�s business had been failing and he had
wanted to combine his business with the Yuy�s. Though the Peacecraft family was
descendent from British royalty, her father had been too proud to touch the
family finances, saying that relying on old money was no longer the way of the
world. Unfortunately, the only way to create an equal partnership would be
through marriage and her father had wanted her to marry her only friend. Name
Yuy had refused the proposal, not wanting to offer her son up as a sacrifice
for business, but Heero had wanted to help her and her family and had proposed
to her. But, three years ago, something horrible had happened. Heero, for a
reason that Relena hadn�t understood, had broken the whole thing off, saying
that she was too �clingy�. After that, Heero and his mother had moved away and
she had spent the last two years chasing him around the world until now, when
it looked like she was finally going to catch up with him.

�� Relena laid her head against the cool glass of the limousine.
Shortly after Heero had called off the wedding, Mrs. Yuy had discovered that
Relena�s father had been stealing money from their company and had severed all
business contracts with the Peacecraft family. When her mother had found out,
she had pushed for a divorce. There had been no love lost between Relena�s
parents. Her mother had taken her older brother and moved to America and her
father had remarried. Since then, her father�s business had continued to
struggle and they were now relying on that old money that her father had not
wanted to use. She had not understood his reluctance to use it and had hated
him for it, but after hearing rumors of her father�s inability to be a �man�
and have a well paying job to help his wealthy family, she understood that it
was a reputation issue. She still hated him for it, though. It was because of
him that she wasn�t married to the one she loved more than anything in the
world, she was pretty sure of that. Sitting next to Relena in the limousine was
her little half sister, Annabelle. Relena had only learned of her existence
after the divorce, but she had quickly learned that her father had been having
an affair when he had remarried with his mistress. But, she didn�t care about
that right now. Relena was finally going to see her fianc�, she still
considered him that since she had never agreed to the break up and knew that as
soon as she could see Heero, they would be able to work things out, but she was
still being reminded of her past problems. She couldn�t stop thinking about
that boy she had met earlier. He had been pretty in a way that some boys could
be pretty without losing their masculinity, but she was sure that he wasn�t a
threat. Heero wasn�t some nasty fag who would do something dirty with some
pretty gutter trash. Relena was sure that that was what the boy was. He spoke
proper English like a foreigner would, carefully, as though it wasn�t his first
language and he was scared of making a mistake. He wore good clothes and behind
those scared, shielded eyes was a strong spark of intelligence, but Relena
could recognize trash when she saw it. Heero was refined, classy; he would
never lower himself to that level, even if that boy had been a girl. Besides,
he loved her. She realized now that she had made a mistake when she had visited
the house earlier. She had been sure that the boy would be attracted her and
intimidated by her name and would let her do as she wished. Obviously, the boy
was an idiot and a low class one at that, she should have just offered him some
money, then he would have folded easily. Still, she was positive that he wasn�t
a threat, a mystery, yes, but not a threat, however, it made her want to know
what she had missed in Heero�s life.

�� Ms. Relena,� Pagan, her driver, informed her, �Mr. Yuy has
returned home.�

�� Relena�s heart leapt in joy in her chest and she flung the
door open.

�� Take me with you!� Relena�s five year old sister demanded.

�� No, Annabelle, stay here!� Relena snapped.

�� No!� Annabelle pouted, �You left me in the car last time!�

�� Fine,� Relena conceded, not in the mood for bickering,
�but keep your mouth shut.�

�� For the first time in three years, Heero�s deep blue eyes
met Relena�s light ones.

�� Heero�� she murmured, a blush spreading over her pale
cheeks. She moved to hug him, but his hard stare stopped her.

�� What are you doing here, Relena?� Heero demanded.

�� He was so beautiful, Relena thought to herself,
how could she not do all that she could to try to hold onto him? Heero crossed
his arms over his chest as Relena seemed to overlook his anger, simply looking
at him with adoration. She had always been that way, even when they were just
friends. When he got mad, she would brush it off like it wasn�t important and
pretend that everything was fine. It was much more different with Duo. He would
try to calm him, comfort him, and acknowledge his feelings instead of ignoring
them. When Relena had smiled when he was in one of those moods, he would bury
his anger because he knew that it wouldn�t matter, Relena just wouldn�t
understand. When Duo smiled at him, he knew that he was concerned about him and
his anger just vanished. When they had moved out of Sanq, he had thought that
that would be the end of it. He realized now that he had been foolish, Relena
had the desire and means to pursue him across the world, so why wouldn�t she?

�� As Heero left the doorway to meet with Relena on the front
lawn, Duo followed him. He couldn�t help it. He knew he should give them their
privacy, but he couldn�t bear to and simply watched the two of them. Relena was
even prettier than a few hours ago, which was impossible, but standing in front
of Heero, he could see how beautiful and perfect they were together. It made
his chest clench. Why would Heero choose him when could have her? He felt so
dirty and useless in their world.

�� Relena noticed Duo standing behind Heero as though he was
using him as a sort of shield and smiled at him.

�� Hello there!� she said cheerfully. �Thank you for showing
me around the house today, it was really nice of you.�

�� Duo stared back at her, but didn�t say anything he
couldn�t. In only one sentence, she had made sure to discredit anything he would
say about her. He was sure that if he said that she had been rude and forced
her way into the house after she had thanked him and called him nice, Heero
would side with her.

�� Heero looked back at Duo who was still silent and withdrawn
and narrowed his eyes at Relena. Everything clicked into place in his mind.

�� What did you say to him?� he demanded harshly. Relena and
Duo�s eyes widened.

�� W-what are you talking about?� Relena stammered, �Heero,
how can you accuse me of such a thing?�

�� Don�t pull this bullshit, Relena, I know you did something
and I want to know what!�

�� Duo stared at his best friend. He had expected a loving,
teary reunion between Heero and Relena, but Heero seemed upset at her and was actually
taking his side in all of this! He
couldn�t understand it.

�� Heero, I didn�t-,� Relena started.

�� I want to go home now!� Annabelle chose that moment to
scream. The three teenagers looked down at the child s though they hadn�t
realized she was there.

�� What�s with the kid?� Heero asked as Duo disappeared back
into the house. Relena sighed.

�� She�s my little sister. My father made me take her with
me.�

�� Heero wondered about why he had never heard of a sister
before, but didn�t really care. Relena had forfeited their friendship when she
had started to stalk him and destroy his trust for her. Duo quickly reappeared
by his side.

�� I want to go home!� Annabelle screeched again.

�� What did I say about keeping quiet?� Relena snapped. Duo
watched the child, no longer concerned with the older sister. The little girl
looked just like Relena, crystal blue eyes that made
the girl look both beautiful and cute, and golden hair that was bound in pig
tails.

�� I don�t care!� the little blonde yelled at her sister, �This
is boring and I�m hungry!�

�� Duo crouched down to the five year old�s level. Annabelle�s
eyes widened at the sight of him.

�� Hey there, my name�s Duo, what�s yours?� he asked,
offering her his hand, which she took , her tiny one dwarfed almost comically
by his, but she wasn�t afraid of him.

�� Anna. My sister calls me Annabelle, but I hate that name. Duo�s a neat name, no
one can lengthen that. You�re eyes
are really pretty and I like your braid.

�� Duo�s smile widened.

�� Well, I like your pigtails and your eyes are really
pretty, too.�

�� Anna blushed at the praise coming from the older boy.

�� I can�t help you with the food, but I think I can take
care of the boredom, Anna,� Duo showed her a box of chalk. Anna squealed with
delight and let the longhaired boy lead her to the Yuy�s driveway.

�� Annabelle, don�t you dare doodle on Mrs. Yuy�s driveway!�
Relena yelled.

�� Leave them alone,� Heero
snapped, �it�s not up to you to decide what my mother does and does not want.
Besides, my mom doesn�t care about
some erasable white lines on the pavement. If anything she�ll find it highly
amusing.�

�� Heero watched his friend help the small girl draw a horse
with wing on the driveway. Somehow, Duo seemed to lose years of tension, the
child in him peeking out to play, and smiled in affection. He was so beautiful�
There really wasn�t anyone else in the world for him. Relena saw the look in
Heero�s eyes as he watched the violet eyes boy and frowned. Hadn�t she thought
only a little while ago that the boy couldn�t possibly be a threat? But now he
could see that she had a rival for Heero�s affections and she didn�t like that
one bit. How had this happened? How could Heero have affection for another boy?!

�� Who is he?� she demanded.

�� He�s my best friend,� Heero said, not losing his smile,
�He needed our help and now he lives with us. That�s all you deserve to know.�

�� Pagan saw his younger charge�s little tempter tantrum and
her removal of the situation by the strange young man and left the limousine to
bring her back. As he approached the blonde and brunette, they didn�t seem to
notice him until he spoke.

�� Sir, I�ll take Miss Peacecraft from you if you like,� the
old man offered. Duo�s head shot up and he blinked at him.

�� Aww!�
Anna whined, �I want to play with Duo some more!�

�� Pagan smiled down at her.

�� I have some apple juice and cookies,� he offered.

�� Ok!� Anna chirped, quick to
change her mind like any child, �Bye, Mr. Duo!�

�� Duo waved at her.

�� Can I come back some time?� the girl asked. Duo nodded.

�� Yay!� she cheered, grabbing
Pagan�s hand and dragging him back to the limousine. Duo smiled as he watched
her, putting the chalk in his pocket. He returned to Relena and Heero and
found, to his horror, that Relena had her arms wrapped around Heero. His heart
seemed to stop beating. How many times had he had his arms around that
wonderful body? How many times had Heero�s arms been around his? Only, that
wasn�t really true, because Heero wasn�t hugging Relena back.

�� Please come back to England with me. We can be happy
again! We can leave this disgusting place with its disgusting people! Just�
came back with me and everything will be right again!� Relena pleaded. Duo
stared at them and felt tears stream down his cheeks, unable to keep them
bottled up any longer. He didn�t see how he could possibly win this. Heero
couldn�t leave America!
What would he do it Heero left and got married in some far away country. Heero�s eyes met his over Relena�s shoulder and
Duo�s heart pounded. Heero was his hope, without him, how could he have dreams?
Without him, he never would have gotten this far. It didn�t have anything to do
with his personal strength or his ability to pick himself up. It was because
Heero was the first person in his life to care about him and try to help him.
Heero had saved him where no one had even tried. Without him he could save
himself, but he would be without the best thing that had ever happened to him. Heero�s
eyes burned into him and he looked alarmed to see Duo cry. Relena and Duo were
equally shocked when Heero shoed her away.

�� No, Relena, I�m happy
here, happier than I�ve ever been, actually. You�re the one who�s miserable. You and I will never be happy
together anywhere. Things haven�t
been alright between us for a very long time. I�m perfectly happy in this �disgusting�
place with these �disgusting� people. As long as I have friends here,� Heero�s
eyes found Duo�s again, �I will never leave.�

�� You� you don�t mean that�� Relena whispered. Duo watched
all of this in confusion. Why was Heero so upset at the woman that was going to
be his wife?

�� I�m never going back to England,� Heero said with
conviction, �especially not for you.�

�� Duo felt the tightness around his heart vanish, but found
that he still couldn�t move.

�� What happened when you got back from school?� Heero asked
him. Duo rubbed nervously at his arm. He couldn�t figure out why Heero was
asking him instead of Relena. He didn�t exactly have a track record of honesty
where Heero was concerned.

�� I came by looking for you,� Relena interjected before Duo
could say anything, �Your friend and I had a friendly chat and when I
discovered that you weren�t here, I left.

�� I asked Duo, not you,� Heero snapped at her. It was
obvious to him that the bitch was lying. Duo looked so nervous and he was quite
sure that Relena hadn�t even known his name. Duo blinked at Heero.

�� Heero� I��

�� Relena watched in hidden fury as Heero�s eyes softened in
affection as he looked at the longhaired boy. When was the last time he had
looked at her that way? Heero walked
until he was standing in front of Duo, his tall body blocking Relena from Duo�s
view. Duo suddenly felt a burst of odd pride. Heero wanted to hear his opinion,
not Relena�s. He was acting nicer to him than
his own fianc�.

�� What happened?� Heero asked again, his voice gentle
without a trace of annoyance or anger.

�� She was here when I got home, waiting in the car,� Duo
told him, �she knocked on the door. She thought I had broken into the house.
When I told her that I had been given a spare key she shoved past me. I should
have tried harder,� Duo said guiltily. Heero shook his head.

�� I�m sure she took you by surprise,� Heero assured him,
silently urging him forward.

�� She told me that she was your fianc�,�
Duo continued, his voice cracking a little. Heero curled his hands into fist,
wanting to pound Relena into the ground. Duo�s earlier attitude towards him
made sense now, anyway.

�� She wanted to get into your room, I don�t know why. I
asked if Name knew that she was here and she said that she didn�t. So, I told
her to get the fuck out.�

�� Heero smiled with pride at Duo�s words. He had never met
someone who had the balls to stand up to Relena. It had taken him years to do
it

�� She refused to leave since she thought that I wouldn�t
force her. I told her that if she didn�t leave, I was going to call Name on
her, so she left.�

�� Heero smirked. It was just like Duo to put the fear of his
mother in someone like Relena. It was pretty funny, actually, and he struggled
not to laugh. He felt proud of his best friend. He was usually so meek, but he
had stood up for himself.

�� That�s a lie!� Relena protested.

�� If Duo says that�s what happened, then that�s what
happened,� Heero snapped. Relena stared at him in shock. Duo couldn�t believe
that Heero believed him so blindly. Did his word really mean that much to him?

�� You�d believe him over
me?� Relena screeched.

�� Every time,� Heero said in a clipped tone.

�� T-thank you,� Duo stammered, �but how can you say that I
haven�t exactly been honest to you in the past.�

�� Heero smiled at him.

�� You don�t need to thank me for something that I believe
in. Even when you were lying to me, I knew you weren�t being completely honest.
I know that you�re telling the truth now, just like how I know that she�s
lying. Relena�s lied to me before and her lies were a lot less understandable
than yours,� Heero told him.

�� But� she�s your fianc�, I�m just
your friend!� Duo tried to point out, but Heero shook his head.

�� You�re my best friend.
Relena�s not my fianc�, not anymore. She hasn�t been for two years now. She
lied to you.�

�� Relief and happiness filled Duo and his legs actually shook
as he felt weak with his fears and anxiety gone. Heero grabbed his shoulder
partly to keep him steady, but mostly as a show of affection.

�� Duo, I would tell you if there was something that big in
my life, I promise.�

�� Duo nodded shakily.

�� It�s just, things have been so good, I
shouldn�t have just believed her. I should have trusted you, but it�s so hard
to remember that you�re not like everyone else I�ve met��

�� It�s not true�� Relena gasped out, making Heero and Duo
notice her again.

�� We are still
engaged,� she rubbed at her ring, �I never agreed to call it off!�

�� You didn�t need to call it off!� Heero yelled, �You still
don�t get it, do you?!�

�� Duo was glad that they didn�t have many neighbors as Heero
started to shout.

�� Marriage is a partnership, not some toy that you can have
just because you really, really want
it! How dare you break into my house and lie to my family! And yes, Duo is my family,
he deserves that title more than you ever did! Don�t you ever speak to him again!�

�� Duo watched the blue eyed boy in alarm. His heart burned
with the knowledge that Heero considered him family and he felt like he was
going to burst with pride and victory at Heero saying that he liked him more
than Relena, but the last time he had seen Heero this angry was when he had
walked in on him and Zechs. He remembered when he had been on the receiving end
of that anger and couldn�t help but feel bad for her. However, he was shocked
to find that, instead of being devastated at bearing the brunt of Heero�s
disgust, she was smiling at him.

�� Now, Heero, there�s no need for temper tantrums. I�m sure
that we can talk like adults,� she said as though she were speaking to a child.
Duo stared at her incredulously. Heero was, understandably, furious, far from
having a �temper tantrum�! Any pity he had felt for the girl vanished and was
replaced with the urge to smack her across the face.

�� No, Relena, you lost the privilege for civilized talk
years ago. Get the fuck off my property and out of my life or I�ll show you how
much of a temper tantrum I can pull!� Heero snarled, grabbing
Duo� hand in a surprisingly gentle grip and retreating back into the house.

��

�� Relena watched the two boys leave her all alone with wide,
shocked eyes, Heero�s words burning in her ears. Pagan and Annabelle were still
in the car, Pagan watching Relena carefully. It was his job to look after her,
but he hadn�t come to her aid while Heero had exploded at her. She wouldn�t have
accepted protection from her beloved Heero
of all people, but it was still his job and she vowed to get her father to
fine him for his blunder. She couldn�t believe that Heero had spoken to her
like that and the way he had looked at the braided hit had been simply
repulsive. She had tried so hard to keep Heero by her side. It was her right as
a woman and as his best friend, but somehow things had gone so horribly wrong.
Her hands curled into fists. It didn�t matter. She would overcome any obstacle
between her and Heero because she had to. She could never let him go. Heero was
all that she had! Her father barely talked to her, she couldn�t even see her
real mother and brother anymore, and all of her friends had abandoned her.
Heero was all that she had left! Heero still loved her; she knew that as much
as she knew that she needed air to live. He had just forgotten how good they
had been together, forgotten how much she loved him, but he still loved her and
that was all that mattered. As long as that emotion was there, she could fix
things. It was that boy� he was interjecting himself in the Yuy�s lives like
some kind of parasite. The Mrs. Yuy she had known never would have allowed him
to live with her unless he had something over her. Even when she and Heero had
just been friends, Heero�s mother had never trusted her. Duo was obviously
plaguing them, she was sure of that, what other reason would the Yuy�s have for
tolerating a rat like that in their home? But, if she got rid of the rat, she
was also sure that that would prove her worth in both Heero and his mother�s
eyes. She was positive that her father�s actions were at fault for the Yuy�s
animosity towards her, but if she could just prove her love for Heero by getting rid of the pest, everything
would go back to the way it was supposed to be. She smiled to herself and
walked back to the limousine.

�� Heero watched Relena with the security system, a feature
that Duo had not known about, but was glad for now. Heero was tense as the girl
paced on the front lawn for ten minutes before finally leaving. His tension
looked painful, Duo thought. He wanted to tell Heero that it would be alright,
but wasn�t sure of the right way to comfort him. He had never had to comfort
someone before and had so few people comfort him that he felt awkward trying to
do it. When Relena finally left and her car drove out of sight of the cameras,
Heero was still on edge.

�� Heero, I�m sorry,� Duo apologized. Even though Heero had
told him that it wasn�t his fault that Relena had gotten into the house, he
still felt guilty about it. He made a small shocked noise as Heero suddenly
whirled and hugged him tightly and desperately. Duo�s instincts told him to
fight back against the attack, but something much deeper, much stronger, told
him that it was ok because it was Heero.

�� You�re my best friend, right?� Heero asked in a gruff, raw
voice teeming with emotion, �you don�t want to hurt me?�

�� Duo�s concerns for survival and that Heero was hurting him with how tight he was holding him vanished at how
vulnerable his friend sounded and he hugged him back, letting Heero press his
head against his.

�� Of course I�m your best friend,� Duo assured him, �and
I�ve never wanted to hurt you.�

�� Why did Heero trust him so completely after all of the lies
and pain he had put him through? He had hurt him, but he had never wanted to�
but did that make it at all better?

�� Heero gripped Duo�s shirt.

�� Why can�t she be like you? Why can�t she just be my friend
again?� Heero murmured against Duo�s neck, �You�re the best thing I have, as
long as I have you, I can survive anything she does to me.�

�� Duo blushed darkly at his words, Heero suddenly realized
how tightly he was holding his friend and quickly let go of him, backing away.
He ran an unsure hand through his mussed hair.

�� Shit, Duo, I�m sorry. I scared you�� Heero said
mournfully. Duo shook his head.

�� Only for a second and that was because you startled me.
I�m not the only one that can ask for a hug,� he said with a smile, �but,
Heero, what is going on?�

�� Heero paused, then nodded to
himself. He tentatively grabbed Duo�s hand in a light grip, as though he was
afraid to touch him, and led him to the kitchen. Duo realized that he should
have started making dinner already and Name was going to be home any minute,
but he brushed it off. Hearing what Heero had to ay was more important right
now. They at together at the kitchen table and Heero struggled with how to
start.

�� I met Relena when I was twelve,� Heero explained, �Mom and
I had just moved to Sanq in England
and my mother knew her family through business. Because of our families�
status, Relena didn�t have any friends and I only had Quatre and Trowa. I
barely got to see them and we were both lonely, so we hit it off right away and
became best friends. We did everything together, told each other everything�
she was a bit obnoxious at times and I had a bad temper, so I fought with her a
lot, but we still cared for each other. Three years ago, I found out that her
father was losing a lot of money and he wanted to create a partnership with Mom
by having Relena and I marry. I agreed and proposed to her.�

�� At fourteen?� Duo asked, shocked.
He wondered if his friendship with Heero was just as strong as his and Relena�s had been.

�� She was my friend and I had never been attracted to
anyone, so I had thought it was a good idea. Our engagement only lasted a
couple of months, though. I watched as my best friend changed into this
obsessed monster. She followed me everywhere, refused to let me see my friends,
called me at all hours, and when we were together, she was an emotional wreck.
She was always crying and commanding that I tell her I loved her, which I couldn�t because I didn�t love her in the way she
wanted me to She was always pushing for our wedding date to be shortened. If
she had had her way, we would have gotten married the day I had proposed, but
my mother had always known that it wouldn�t last. I had always been up front
with Relena that I wasn�t interested romantically, that we were just friends,
but every time I refused to get the date reduced, she would try to seduce me.
When Mom worked late, I�d come home and find Relena naked in my bed. I had
tried kissing, but I wasn�t that into it. When I refused to be� intimate with
her, she went off the deep end. She started to stalk me, standing outside our
house at all hours, following me everywhere I went, and the phone calls got
worse. When she thought that I wasn�t spending enough time with her, she tried
to get me expelled from school. When I told my mom about her behavior, Relena
acted like she always had, but my mother, fortunately, didn�t believe her act.
When she started lying to Quatre, Trowa, and myself so we wouldn�t be friends anymore, that was the last straw. She had destroyed our
friendship with her lies. I wasn�t sleeping, wasn�t eating, and I had had
enough. I broke it off with her, but the stalking didn�t stop. Shortly after
that, Mom found out that Relena�s father had been stealing money from her and
we moved away. It wasn�t until Trowa and Quatre visited me here that I found
out that her parents had gotten a divorce and that her brother is actually
living here of all places! And now,
after over two years, she�s found me again!� Heero ranted, completely
frustrated.

�� Heero�� Duo murmured, �I�m so sorry. You didn�t deserve to
go through all of that. I�m sorry, but she sounds like a real bitch. She has no
right to put you through this,� Duo said, feeling justified in his earlier
hatred of the girl. The thought of what she had done to Heero, who was supposed
to be her best friend, made him feel sick. Heero laughed half heartedly.

�� She was a bitch, but at the same time that I hated her for
hurting me, I still cared for her because of our friendship.�

�� Duo put a hand on Heero�s knee.

�� I understand,� he said, �I know it�s a sucky
comparison, but I feel the same way about Wes. I hate him for what he did to
me, but I still miss him,� he blushed, realizing what he had just admitted, �I
know how sick that sounds.�

�� Heero squeezed Duo�s hand.

�� You shouldn�t have to feel that way about him, but I can
understand it.�

�� Duo peeked at him through his long bangs.

�� You don�t think I�m sick, then?� he asked nervously.

�� No. I wish he�d stop hurting you and making you feel so
twisted inside, but I don�t think you�re sick,� Heero assured him, worrying
over Duo�s words in his mind. Suddenly, something that Heero had said came back
to Duo.

�� Relena�s brother goes to our school?!� he exclaimed, �Do I
know him?�

�� You might,� Heero said with a smirk, �his name is Zechs
Merquise.�

�� Duo�s eyes widened and his hands clenched under Heero�s.

�� You have to be fucking kidding me!� he nearly screeched.
Heero almost laughed at Duo�s shocked expression.

�� Relena and Zechs had never gotten along when they lived
together, but they�re very much alike, obsessed bullies the lot of them,� Heero
mused.

�� No kidding,� Duo grumbled. He could see the connection,
alright. Both of them were beautiful, arrogant, and malicious. He would
consider himself lucky if he never saw either of them again.

�� Name came home in a foul mood. She had spent the firs half
of her day worrying about Duo getting home on his own and the other half
arguing with lawyers over a group of publishers that wanted to release a book
about her family�s history. She didn�t care if the people �needed to know�, it was her family, not theirs. She hated the fad of
�baring it all� that was so popular among celebrities nowadays and she refused
to be a part of it. They could write that book if they wanted to, but it would
have to be without her permission. Her day had ended worse than it had begun
with her calling home and Heero�s cell, only to have no one pick up each time.
It was highly suspicious, both Heero and Duo should have been hoe by then and
she ended up rushing home in worry. So, when she had come home to find both
boys unharmed and cooking stir fry in the kitchen.

�� Don�t either of you know how to answer the phone?� she
asked sternly, but kept her voice down despite her agitation. Duo blushed and
Heero simply shrugged.

�� We stepped out for a little while,� Duo admitted, sharing
a look with Heero. They had spoken about telling Name about Relena for the last
few minutes and had ultimately decided that there was no serious reason not to
tell her.

�� Mom, Relena found me again,� Heero confessed. Name became
dead still as she soaked in that information.

�� I think you need to back track a little bit,� she said as
calmly as she could manage. Duo nodded and decided to tell the tale while Heero
watched the stove.

�� Name listened patiently as Duo told her about his ride
home, Relena�s visit, and ended the whole messy story with Relena, eventually,
storming off into the night. She looked at her son as he stirred the beef stir
fry. He looked ok, but he was just as good as she was at hiding his feelings.
She was sure that Duo�s presence was a large part of Heero�s cool. When Relena
was involved, he usually, understandably, dissolved into a fit but she was glad
to see that this time, he had his head on straight. She couldn�t believe the
gall of that woman! She had done irreversible harm to her child, broken into
her home, lied and tried to hurt Duo, and tried to
drag Heero back to England.
She couldn�t even begin to think of the level of stress that bitch had put Duo
through. It was fair to him. The American didn�t deserve to deal with the
Peacecraft girl�s special brand of insanity. He had dealt with enough crazy
people in his life; he didn�t need to deal with a girl trying to take away his
best friend on top of everything else.

�� What should we do about her?� Heero finally spoke up. Name
sighed.

�� There�s not much we can do,� she admitted, �someone like
her won�t stop until she gets her way, finally understands that her antics are
getting her nowhere, or she dies. She obviously isn�t getting the message and
since murder isn�t my style, I suggest we just try to stay out of her way as
much as we can. Sooner or later she�s going to step over the line and she�ll
either screw up so badly, not even her family name can save her or her father
will have no choice but put a leash on her. I�m sorry you have to deal with
this mess,� she apologized to Duo. He shook his head.

�� Heero�s my friend and after all that you two have done for
me, I want to help. I�m sorry for not stopping her.�

�� Nonsense,� Name insisted, �I�m sure defending the house
against spoiled little blonde princesses wasn�t high on your list of worries
until today.�

�� Heero snorted.

�� As long as you don�t believe her bullshit and she doesn�t
try to hurt you anymore, I don�t care what she does,� Heero told his friend.
Duo toyed with the material of his pants.

�� You told her that I was your family. Did you really mean
that?� he asked in a soft voice.

�� Yes,� Heero and Name said at the same time and they shared
a look.

�� You�re living with us for a reason, Duo,� Name told him,
�it�s not just out of the goodness of my heart. I�ve never seen Heero become
attached to another person so quickly before. You�re kind, bright, and strong.
Despite all of the problems in your life, you�ve stayed true to Heero. The second
you stepped through our front door, you became a part of the family, unless you
don�t want to be?�

�� No,� Duo said softly, his voice filled with emotion, �I�d
like to be. Thank you�� he looked Name in the eye, �Relena got really upset
when I called you by your first name,� he told her, �but you insisted on me not
calling you Mrs. Yuy.�

�� Name smirked at him.

�� Honey, I told you this before, but if you ever get into
the habit of calling me �Mrs. Yuy�, I�ll slap you. Only a handful of people in
this world get to call me �Name� and you just happen to be on that list.�

�� But you told me to call you that on the day we met! The
same day you threatened me not to hurt Heero!� he protested, �Did you tell
Relena the same thing when you met her?�

�� Of course not!� Name scoffed,
�Relena never had and never will have the right to address me by my first
name.�

�� But why?!�
Duo demanded, not seeing any sense in what she was saying. Heero rolled his
eyes at his mother.

�� I�m a very good judge of character, Duo,� she said to him,
�when I met Trowa and Quatre, I knew that they would
be good friends to Heero. When I met you, I was a little suspicious of you, but
I could see that you were, deep down, a good person and, whether or not you
would end up hurting my son, you didn�t want
to and you honestly wanted to be his friend. When I met Relena, however, I
saw that she was a tightly coiled spring about to snap, and I never trusted
her. I�ll never tell Heero who he can or can�t be friends with, so, though I
disliked and distrusted her, I also tolerated her. I realize now that I never
should have allowed them to be engaged, but that�s in the past, I guess,� she
said mournfully. �All I know is, Relena Peacecraft is
not a good person.�

�� There was nothing more frustrating than a second rate
hotel, Relena thought to herself. But, then again, she had been shocked that a
poor little town like this had a hotel. She kept wanting
to call room service, but every time she did, she ended up screaming at
someone, so she had temporarily given up on it. Pagan was sleeping in the room
next to hers, but his presence just annoyed her. His being here made her feel
lonely, knowing that Heero was out there, so close by, and not by her side. The
second she had gotten back to her hotel room after talking to Heero, she had
called her father and demanded that Pagan had been fired, but he had informed
her that Pagan had been with his family since before he had been born and he
wasn�t going to be fired just because she was having one of her patented temper
tantrums. The next day, Pagan had taken her little sister back to England and had
returned the day after, to continue to help her get around. A week had passed
and she still hadn�t spoken to Heero again. Right now, she had a different goal
in mind. She had refused Pagan�s services latterly, not because she disliked
him, but because she needed to travel inconspicuously. She had settled for a
taxi as she spent her days tailing, not Heero, but Duo.

�� Relena lied down on the strange hotel bed and stared up at
the strange ceiling. She couldn�t remember hating another person so much. A
week ago, she had hated him for being Heero�s new best friend and someone that
held her love�s interest, but now she hated him for a different reason. It had been
easy following Duo and from school, when he disappeared during the night into
the town�s park, when he went out to dinner and movies with Heero. She had
watched Duo watching Heero with soft, affectionate, loving eyes and had felt her blood boil. That look didn�t belong to
anyone like him and it disgusted her. She should be the one living with Heero,
not him! It made her want to rip his
pretty, violet eyes out. She had to do something about him� No fag was going to
look at her Heero in that way! Fortunately, the situation hadn�t yet gotten so
bad that she couldn�t fix it without violence. She tossed and turned on the
bed, but knew that she wouldn�t be able to sleep. The situation wouldn�t have
frustrated her if it weren�t for the fact that Heero and Duo never separated
outside the house and school. How could she talk to Duo if he was never alone?
However, there was one time when the boy was alone. She turned on her side and
stared at the clock, impatiently waiting for 11:00 p.m. She had to stop this,
nip in the bud before it got too bad. It seemed a bit spontaneous to her, just
leaving the hotel room in search of a boy when she wasn�t even totally sure
what she would say to him, but she didn�t have a choice. She had to do this�
for Heero.

�� At 11:00 at night, Duo was out the door with a bag filled
with cat food and toys. He only did this Monday and Thursday and he was
constantly worried that Heero or Name would find out about his nearly midnight
excursions. He didn�t know what Name would do if she ever found out that he had
been sneaking out to feed some stray cats. She had been so upset when he had
wanted to walk home from school in broad daylight, she would probably kill him
if she ever discovered that he was walking the streets at night. The first
night looking for his brood had been especially hard on him. He had had a series
of intense panic attacks that night and he had been sure that he would never
find them. His first idea was to just go back to the apartment and see if they
were still in the alley. He knew that it was the dumbest thing he had ever come
up with and he had been terrified to even think
about going back there, but he had wanted to see his cats so badly.
However, after burying some cat food, he had only made it halfway before
collapsing on the sidewalk and becoming violently ill. It had been something of
a relief realizing that he physically couldn�t
go back to the apartment; his broken mind wouldn�t let him. He never wanted
to go back t that place for any reason and every time he left the house, his
heart would race with the fear that Wes would find him. It was an extremely
unpleasant sensation. After his panic attack, he had gone back to the
convenience store and bought much more cat food, the clerk giving him weird
looks. He had gone to the park, laid out the food, hid in a nearby tree, and
waited. The smell of the food had attracted dozens of cats, but it was through
some miracle that, some time around four in the morning, Toby, Cotton, and
Angel had shown up. He had known it was them at a glance, but confirmed it by
leaving the tree and whistling out of all of the cats, only his three had run
up to him, eager to see him. He had slunk back to the house after an hour of
playing with them to have a full fledged melt down. He had considered himself
lucky that, in the time he had been gone, they hadn�t gone feral, especially
the large and formidable Toby. The next night, he had gone back to the park and
found that he didn�t need to use food anymore, all seven of his cats, even very
pregnant Patches, were waiting for him. He was still scared to go out to meet
them, but it made him happy at the same time.

�� He snuck out of the house and made his way to the park,
just like he always did. It was getting a bit warmer as January was starting to
melt away into February, but he still worried about the felines. He made it
into the park with no trouble when he spotted a figure leaning against one of
the trees.

�� Hello, Duo,� Relena said, walking out of the shadows
towards the lamplight. �We need to talk,� she said angrily. Duo narrowed his
eyes at her and took a step back. She had come alone and unarmed, but after
everything Heero had told her about her, she made him feel uncomfortable. He
didn�t trust her for a clean fight and he refused to strike a petit girl like
her.

�� I don�t think so, Relena,� he said. He had no idea how she
had known he would be here tonight, but he didn�t like the look in her eyes one
bit. He stumbled as the blonde girl suddenly shoved him against a tree, his
jacket falling open to reveal his black button-up shirt and he shivered.

�� I�ve seen you looking at him,� she hissed, her nails
digging into his shirt. Duo watched her with wide eyes.

�� She�s crazy,� he realized, �she�s been following us and
she knows that I like him, but she�s still just crazy!�

�� That�s not the way a boy should look at another man!� she
accused, the disgust in her eyes and her hateful words drilling a stake through
his heart. Men having sex with other men had been a huge part of his life, but
her pointing out his �unnatural� desire for Heero, another boy, made him feel
as dirty as he had having sex with strange men. Even is she was right, he
wanted to scream at her to shut up. What did she know about how hard it was loving Heero and knowing that it was wrong, that he would
never love him back?!

�� Pervert,� she hissed sharply, seeing his so-called �love�
in his eyes, �You�re disgusting!� her
fingers dug further into his shirt, tearing it open.

�� What the fuck, you crazy bitch?!�
Duo demanded.

�� How could Heero possibly want to make love to you with
this body?!� she sneered, her expression turning quickly to one of disgust as
she saw Duo�s vivid scars on his flat chest. Duo hastily closed his shirt with
a shaking hand. He tried to muster some indignation towards her, but couldn�t.
As hateful as she was, she was right.

�� You�re a man, what do you think
you can do for him that I can�t?� she demanded, her whole manner demeaning and
insulting. Duo found that he couldn�t look her in the eyes. His heart felt
tight with each word that she spoke. Why did she have to say these things to
him? He knew that Heero would never like him like that, but why did she have to
be so cruel about it?

�� Relena slammed her hands on either side of Duo�s body on
the tree, trapping the boy there. She leaned in enough that Duo could feel her
breath on his skin.

�� We kissed, you know,� she told him, taking immense
pleasure in the pain on his face, �he tasted so sweet� He�s quite passionate,
but I guess you�ve never seen that side of him, huh? His lips are surprisingly
soft and he�s very gentle, but very inventive, too, though he is too much of a
gentleman to do anything nasty. It
felt so good, like my heart would melt and I could tell
that he felt the same way. It was our very first kiss, things like that are
treasured by normal people, I suppose someone like you has never had the
pleasure.�

�� Duo�s heart felt like it was trying to crush itself. Just
the image of Relena and Heero kissing made him feel like dying. He was sure
that kissing Heero felt like heaven, but he would never know.

�� She�s crazy,� he thought to himself, �but she�s also
right. Heero�s not gay. He had a fianc� and he was willing to try to love her,
even kiss her. Even if Heero is gay, he�d never fall for me.�

�� His first kiss� he supposed that something like that was
considered special by other people his age. Wes had given him his first kiss.
There had been nothing romantic about it. It had been brutal with Wes thrusting
his wet tongue into his mouth. He had tasted weird and he bruised his lips with
the force of it. It had left him with the feeling of violation. It hadn�t been
soft or sweet or something that he wanted to remember years later. It had been
a couple of days after Wes had raped him for the first time. The kiss of a
rapist, not a first love� The ideal of one�s coveted first kiss still eluded
him, but that was probably because by the time he had gotten his first kiss, he
had already �gone all the way�. Weren�t you supposed to get your first kiss
before you gave up your virginity? He thought that that was how it went, but he
wasn�t entirely sure.

�� Duo�s eyes suddenly found a pair of glowing yellow eyes
stalking them in the dark.

�� Look out,� he said flatly. Relena let go the tree and
whirled, screaming as Toby made a swipe at her ankle, his formidable claws
scratching her skin open, the wound looking deep as it bled. Relena screamed
and made to deliver a powerful kick to the Javanese�s head. Duo growled and
shoved her. He watched in shock as she fell to the grassy ground with a cry. He
had felt weak and vulnerable his entire life he had never seen any evidence of
his strength before, so seeing her crumpled on the ground had shocked him. Toby
rubbed himself against Duo�s leg and he picked the tom up so the cat could
perch on his shoulders, looking like a miniature lynx as he hissed at Relena
when she got to her feet. She glared at the feral-looking feline.

�� What is that thing?!� she screeched, taking a step back
when the large cat flattened his ears back at her. Duo stroked his long tail
and Toby rubbed against his cheek, showing his readiness to defend the boy
against the hostile stranger.

�� Leave me alone, Relena,� Duo said tiredly. Relena watched
Toby warily. Her ankle hurt more than the time she had been bitten by a bulldog
when she was six. She jumped as she heard a small, angry hiss behind her. There
was a small black cat glaring up at her as though she were its mortal enemy.

�� Shiva hissed again at the strange female that was blocking
her way to her daddy. She watched in satisfaction as the human stepped away
from her and she ran over to Duo, letting him pick her up and coddling her to
his chest. She dug her claws into his shirt and felt comfortable in his warmth.
Relena couldn�t help but feel intimidated with three sets of eyes glaring at
her, even if two of those were just cats. She didn�t feel like losing any more
blood and she had gotten her point across.

�� Freak,� she hissed and fled the park to her warm hotel
room.

�� Duo watched her go with a breath of relief. He stroked
Shiva�s head and she purred her appreciation at him.

�� Good girl,� he murmured.

�� When Name heard Duo sneak out of bed and leave the house,
she didn�t fall back to sleep. She knew that she should yell at Duo for his
reckless behavior and how dangerous it was to be walking around at night, but
there had to be a good reason for the behavior and it had been going on for
weeks now, so Duo probably knew what he was doing, but she was still angry and
worried. She stayed wide awake until she heard the door open again, then allowed herself to drift off.

�� Heero shot awake at the sharp sound of sobbing coming from
Duo�s room. At first he thought that he was dreaming, but the crying continued.
It wasn�t the first time that he had heard crying, but it was late and the
crying was too strong, too� out of control for him to ignore.

�� Shit,� he muttered and rolled out of bed, running to Duo�s
room. He thought that it could be another panic attack, but Duo was fast
asleep, in the throes of a bad nightmare that had Duo twisting and sobbing like
the world was coming to an end. Duo wasn�t saying anything, giving no
indication about what he was dreaming about, just crying and whimpering in a
high pitched, child-like voice. Heero paled when he realized that Duo could be
dreaming about Wes. He sat on the edge of the bed and placed a hand on Duo�s
arm.

�� Duo, wake up,� he urged. Duo�s body became rigid and his
leg lashed out towards Heero�s head. Heero�s instincts told him not to grab or
restrain Duo in anyway, so he only jumped back .Duo thrashed for a few seconds,
then rolled onto his stomach whimpering and panting. Heero watched him with a
heavy heart. How could he comfort his friend if he couldn�t even touch him?

�� Duo, it�s me, ok?� Heero tried
to soothe him through his voice, �It�s alright, everything�s ok� I promise, nothing�s going to hurt you.�

�� Duo�s body started to still at the sound of his best
friend�s voice, giving a feeble twitch every now and then. Heero put a light
hand on Duo�s back and smiled softly as Duo didn�t fight him and his back
muscles relaxed under his touch. The rational part of him told him to leave now
that the nightmare was over, but the emotional part of him didn�t want to. The
nightmare could come back once he left, he told himself, but mostly he just
felt anchored by the warmth under his hand. A dark blush covered his face as he
slipped into bed with Duo. He could feel the warmth from his body as he lay
down next to him but he made sure not to touch him. He was so close though� it
was strange, his heart was pounding so hard, but they both had their clothes
on, it wasn�t any different thatn when they ate
breakfast together, so why did lying in the same bed with Duo feel so intense?

�� Suddenly, Duo rolled over to Heero, curling up into a tight
ball, pressed against Heero�s chest and stomach. Heero gaped down at him. A
second ago Duo was trying to kick him, now he was, well, snuggling against him.
Duo did look like a cuddler, but it was still
strange. Against his better judgment, Heero wrapped an arm around his friend
and laid his head on top of Duo�s, trying to ignore that this was the boy that
he loved and just attempted to focus on the �best friend� part.

�� Everything�s going to be fine,� he murmured, falling
asleep.

�� Duo awoke early that morning in Heero�s arms. He had come
home last night, incredibly depressed at what Relena had said to him and he had
cried himself to sleep. He had been doing that a lot since being released from
the hospital. He vaguely remembered having a horrible dream that had involved
Relena and Wes somehow, only to wake up in a very surreal situation. He was
pressed against Heero�s chest, his knees drawn up to his stomach as he snuggled
against him, and one of Heero�s arms was flung over him in a very intimate,
almost protective gesture. Duo�s face felt red hot as he realized he could feel
his best friend�s form through his shirt How the hell had they ended up that
way?! He didn�t dare move at the same time his panicked nerves wanted to flee.
He never wanted to leave this warmth. If he had ever believed in heaven, then
this was it, but it wassn�t right. He felt good right
now, but as soon as they parted, it would hurt too much. But..
leaving Heero�s arms was inevitable and he wanted to
stay for as long as he could. He looked up at him, saw that Heero was wide awake,
and promptly looked away again.

�� Um� Heero?� he said in a small voice. Their eyes met and
Duo saw that Heero was just as nervous.

�� Why are you in bed with me?� Duo asked and noted that
Heero looked very cute when he blushed.

�� You had a nightmare,� Heero tried to explain, talking
slowly so he wouldn�t stutter his words. Their bodies were still pressed
together and he could hear Duo�s heart beating rapidly.

�� I�m scaring him again,� Heero thought in a panic, �what
the hell was I thinking, of course he would freak out to find me in bed with
him!�

�� I thought this would help the nightmares,� he said, �Do
you want me to leave?�

�� Heero thought back to last night. He had thought that he
should wake and leave before Duo realized he had been sleeping with him. He had
woken a few hours after Duo had stopped crying to find him sleeping peacefully.
Thinking that he wouldn�t have any more bad dreams, he had tried to leave, but
Duo had grabbed his shirt and refused to let go until he had slipped back into
bed with him. However, what Duo had wanted when he had been sleeping was
probably different than what he wanted when he was wide awake. Still, Heero
didn�t think that he would ever truly regret his actions. He had had the best
sleep he had ever had since he had been a little kid and lying there with Duo
in his arms was just too comfortable. To Heero�s shock and delight, Duo shook
his head.

�� No� I don�t want you to leave if you don�t want to. This
is actually pretty comfortable,� Duo admitted, his face beet red, �but if it
makes you feel awkward��

�� No!� Heero said quickly, �It doesn�t feel awkward. I just
don�t want to make you feel uncomfortable.�

�� Duo nodded and Heero felt his slender body relax again.
Holding each other this way wasn�t something friends would do, Heero realized,
but Duo either wasn�t aware of that or didn�t care and that suited Heero just
fine. It was definitely nice just to stay like this on a lazy Saturday morning,
but there was something bothering Heero. It had been bothering him for a long
time, but he had never had the courage to ask until now. He sighed.

�� Why do you keep crying at night?� he asked. Duo stared up
at him with wide eyes.

�� You heard that?�

�� Heero nodded.

�� At first I didn�t want to mention it because I thought you
were ashamed and didn�t want to talk about it, but if there�s something
bothering you that badly, you should tell someone.�

�� Duo bit his lip, worrying his options around in his head.

�� A part of it�s been the stress, the panic attacks, and the
depression, but the other part� it�s just too stupid.�

�� Heero�s hand dared to stroke Duo�s braid and he relaxed
when Duo didn�t smack him for it. The last time he had touched his hair had
been in the hospital. It felt even silkier now than before.

�� I can tell you something in turn if you want,� Heero tried
to offer some equal ground. Duo perked up. He remembered how he had felt when
he had met Relena, about not knowing all that much about Heero�s past,
especially such a large chapter of it.

�� I can ask anything?� he asked. Heero nodded.

�� Ok�� Duo started, choosing his words carefully, �I know
that you and your mother care about me a lot, but the things you do for me�
You�re both so kind and I don�t deserve it. The things I did, lying to both of
you, the prostitution, I know that doesn�t bother you for some reason, but it
bothers me. Being forgiven is just as
painful as being blamed because I don�t feel like I deserve forgiveness. Maybe
I do and maybe I don�t, I only know how I feel, and being treated as a human
being after so long hurts and it makes me feel depressed, because I know I
should feel happy. A part of me does feel
very happy, but it�s very overwhelming, too,� Duo curled his fingers in Heero�s
shirt.

�� But� I guess I don�t want anything to change, either. So,
don�t try to make things better, ok? It�s my fault my emotions are like this,
but you two are doing everything right, really, you are, it�s just� I�m not
quite used to this, yet. When Wes had drugged me and things had gotten really, really
bad, it was you, fantasizing about you, about having a family and someone who
loved me without any strings attached that kept me from going insane,� Duo
admitted. He lapsed into silence as Heero continued to stroke his hair, the
movement soothing. Heero knew that his friend was having a lot of emotional
problems and he felt better knowing what some of those problems were. However,
at the same time that he was relived that it didn�t have much to do with him
causing the problem, it was frustrating knowing that there was nothing he could
do to help. The thought of Duo dreaming about him when Wes had been� hurting
him made him feel both warm and twisted inside. It was flattering that the
longhaired boy would turn to him in his darkest moments, but it also reminded
him that Duo never should have gone through that. He should have saved him, he
should have done� something� instead he had done nothing, just sitting brooding
in his anger while his best friend had been raped, dreaming about him� that was
something that would probably haunt him for the rest of his life. Months ago,
he had thought that nothing could leave an imprint on him like that, but it had
happened a lot easier than he had thought.

�� Where�s your father?� Duo suddenly asked. Heero froze.

�� That�s your question?� he asked quietly.

�� If it�s too personal, you don�t have to say anything,� Duo
offered, seeing that his question was causing Heero some sort of inner turmoil.
Heero shook his head.

�� I promised I would answer the question,� he sighed, �and I
guess it�s nothing like what you just told me, it�s just� hard for me to talk
about it.�

�� Duo held Heero�s hand that wasn�t currently around him and
squeezed lightly.

�� Comparing what happened to me to what happened to you
isn�t fair,� he told Heero, �it doesn�t matter if you see my problems as bad or
traumatic, if something happened to you that hurt you, it�s just as bad.�

�� Heero nodded.

�� My father�s name was Alexei. He and my mom met in Russia and
married pretty quickly. He was in computers, firewall software mostly, but he never
had an active interest in my mom�s company. He respected her or what she did,
but he wasn�t power hungry and had never tried to usurp her or anything like
that,� Heero said. The two boys shifted their positions a bit so they were eye
to eye instead of Duo�s head cradled against Heero�s chest. Heero rested his
cheek on the pillow as he looked Duo in the eye. Duo caught Heero using the
past tense when referring to his father, but didn�t mention it. He had seen a
lot of death in his life and was no stranger to it, but this was different and
he couldn�t help but feel sad about it.

�� He was a good father, a good man, but I suppose that
everyone says that of the dead,� Heero said with a bitter snort. His voice was
firm as he spoke, but Duo could see the darkness in his friend�s eyes.

�� He was walking to lunch one day when an ex-employee hit
him with his car,� Heero�s voice wavered a little and Duo put his own arm
around the Japanese teen�s shoulders, stroking his neck with his fingers, which
seemed to calm Heero down a little.

�� The blow was fatal, but he didn�t die right away. I was
twelve when he died. That day, Mom picked me up from school and took me to the
hospital to� say goodbye. When I realized what was happening, I fought against
it, but my mother forced me to see him anyway. At the time, I had hated her for
that, but now, I�m glad that she had made me see him one last time,� a stray
tear went down Heero�s cheek, �He looked� normal, like there was nothing wrong
with him. There was no blood, he wasn�t deformed� He even smiled when he aw me.
We talked for hours, at first about what was happening to him, then we just
talked about stupid things, school, Quatre and Trowa, baseball� The nurse took
me outside so Mom and he could be alone together and later that night, he died
in his sleep,� as Heero finished, he had a hard time containing his emotions.
He hadn�t spoken about his father for five years. Every time his mother had
tried to so much as mention him, Heero had rushed it off like it didn�t bother
him but that was just a lie. It was almost easy, though, to talk to Duo about
it, maybe because Duo understood so well about pain and was the only person he
was close to that hadn�t known his father.

�� I miss him so much,� Heero admitted, his sorrow finally
starting to spill out as he silently cried and his voice cracked, �it hurts so
much, even though it was so long ago.�

�� Heero�� Duo murmured, hugging
Heero tightly and letting his friend do the same to him. He had seen a lot of
people dying, but he, personally, had never lost anyone that he had loved. He
couldn�t imagine how hard it had been for Heero to lose his father like that.
Heero cried against Duo�s neck, the feeling of his long, silky hair was
comforting, almost a balm.�

�� After that, neither of us could take being in Japan
anymore and we moved to Sanq,� Heero said when he had composed himself enough
to form words, but his voice was still tight and ready to crack at any second.

�� I guess, in a round about way it was because of Dad that I
ended up here, too,� Heero murmured. Duo listened to him intently. That was
news to him. He had always thought that Heero had moved to America because
of business.

�� After my father died, I� I guess I got a little out of
control. I stopped caring about anything except for my family and friends. My
mom, Quatre, Trowa, and eventually Relena, became the only things that mattered
anymore. I became angry at the world and would snap at the smallest thing. I
was bitter and violent and with the exception of the small group of people I did care about, everyone was fair game,
even my teachers. Mom and I bounced around England because of my behavior
until I was expelled from my last high school for beating up a student. He
hadn�t done much, just called me a pussy for not
having a girlfriend, but it was enough. Mom moved us here after that. I guess I
still have problems with my anger,� Heero said, thinking back to when he had
sent that boy to the hospital for threatening Duo. Duo hugged him tighter.

�� Heero, I�m so sorry,� he said. Heero smiled at him.

�� It�s not all bad, is it? I met you, after all, and I
really am trying to work on my anger��

�� Duo smiled back.

�� No, not so bad.�

��

�� Did you hear about Maxwell?�

�� Dude, it�s been three weeks, everyone knows he�s back at
school. I just want to know why. I
mean, Khushrenada is like the next coming of Hitler, why would he let him come
back? And what happened between him and Yuy anyway? One minute Yuy�s cursing
his existence and the next they�re buddy-buddy again, what�s up with that? Why
do guys like Khushrenada and Yuy give people like Maxwell the time of day?
Sure, he�s hot, but he�s kind of a geek.�

�� Eh, Maxwell�s probably blowing Khushrenada like he�s
blowing Yuy.�

�� Man, that�s sick, he�s not doing that!�

�� No, don�t you listen to people? Maxwell�s Yuy�s little
kept bitch now, they�re even living together!
Why else would Maxwell be there if he wasn�t Yuy�s concubine or some shit? Big
important families like the Yuy�s do it all the time. Why do you think Yuy
turns down every chick that approaches him? He�s already getting some wicked
action from Maxwell and who can blame him? Shit, if he was a girl, I�d be all over him, too!�

�� Yeah, I know what you mean, he�s got a pretty sweet ass,
but he�s still a guy. Still, someone like that is just begging for fucking.�

�� Trowa, Quatre, and Wufei listened to the conversation as
they hung out at Quatre�s locker. The blonde�s hands were curled into fists as
the boy suggested that Duo was being �kept� by Heero. Wufei looked ready to
kill someone and Trowa was just standing perfectly still, but Quatre could see
the underlying tension in his body like a violin string ready to snap. Ever
since Duo had come back to school, these sorts of rumors had been flying around
and the fact that Duo was living with Heero had only made those rumors worse.
There were all kinds of crazy stories, but this one was the most popular among
the boys, but this time was just too much for all of them. Quatre was sick of
just standing by and listening to such filth about two of his best friends. He
wasn�t blind, he knew that Heero loved Duo and Duo, at the very least, adored
Heero, if not loved him as well, Duo was so tightly wound emotionally that it
was hard to tell, but he did care for Heero more than a friend and if they
found out what everyone was saying behind their backs, it wasn�t going to be
pretty. When the other boy mentioned that Duo needed to be fucked, Trowa did
snap. They were several feet down the hall, but Quatre knew that that wouldn�t
matter as Trowa whirled and made a go for them.

�� Trowa, don�t!� Quatre cried, he and Wufei grabbing one arm
each to try to keep him back.

�� No,� Trowa snarled, his green eyes on fire with rage, �I
need to put a stop to this!�

�� Quatre and Wufei struggled with him, Quatre watching him
with wide eyes. He had never seen his calm and collected lover so angry before
and he didn�t blame him, but what Trowa wanted to do wasn�t going to help
anyone. There was a very big part of him that wanted to just go and join in, no
one had the right to say those things about his friend, but he wasn�t violent
by nature and mostly he just didn�t wan this boyfriend to get in trouble, even
if their going to this school wasn�t serious. Wufei looked over at him as
though he was looking for guidance, either permission to let go or support,
wanting to know if this was the right thing to do in the situation, still,
Quatre had to admire his honor. Wufei�s muscles were tight and Quatre knew that
he wanted, just as badly as Trowa, to hurt those boys, but he knew that it was
wrong despite his anger.

�� Why don�t you just shut up?�

�� Trowa went still at the sound of the familiar voice.
Realizing that the tall boy wasn�t going to bolt, Quatre and Wufei let go of
him and looked over at the offending boys. Duo was standing there, the shortest
of the three of them, glaring at them. The hazel-eyed brunette with the red
shirt paled and couldn�t look Duo in the eye. The taller, grey-eyed boy,
however, just smirked at Duo.

�� Shit,� Wufei muttered and the three of them ran towards
Duo just in case there was going to be trouble.

�� What�s the matter, Maxwell, I thought that long haired
fags like you liked dirty talk?� the boy jeered as his friend escaped before he
could get too involved.

�� I don�t care about what you say about me,� Duo nearly
growled, �but don�t you dare say shit like that about Heero. He�s not like how
you say he is and what happens between the two of us is no one�s goddamn
business but ours. So, just shut the fuck up, ok?�

�� The boy put his hands up in mock surrender.

�� Ok, Princess, I forgot how sensitive your kind is. If your
biscuit ain�t bein�
buttered by the frickin� Ice King, I�m always
available,� he gave Duo a lewd look and poked the violet-eyed boy sharply in
the shoulder.

�� But, for the record, I�ll say whatever I want, honey, what
are you going to do about it? Spit on me?�

�� Duo grabbed the boy�s finger and twisted it, not enough to
fracture it, but enough to hurt him a great deal. The boy screeched in a long,
whiny howl, stumbling away from Duo when his finger was released. He snarled,
realizing that he had been attacked by a boy shorter and younger than him, but
Duo shoved him back with a great amount of force, making him crash into the
lockers.

�� You go ahead and say what you want,� Duo warned, �but if
Heero finds out about the bullshit you�re spouting, he�s going to do more than
just beat you up and if you don�t realize that, then you�re a moron.�

�� The boy�s eyes widened as he realized that Duo was speaking
the truth. Everyone had heard about what Yuy had done to the upper classman
last semester and no one was eager to find out what sort of damage he could do
when pissed off.

�� You heard him, shut the fuck up and get the hell out of
here!� Wufei snapped at him. The boy seemed to realize the other three�s
presence and ran, knowing a losing battle when he saw one.

�� Asshole,� Quatre muttered under his breath. Trowa watched
Duo like a hawk, but he seemed completely unfazed by the entire event and
simply shouldered his book bag as though nothing had happened. He felt like he
could study the boy for ten whole years and still never fully understand him.

�� Where�s Heero?� Wufei asked worriedly. Duo was right, if
Heero ever found out what people were saying about him and Duo, someone was
going to get hurt really fast.

�� He got hit in the head with a basketball during gym class.
He�s fine, not even a bump or bruise, but after what happened to me before, Ms.
Schbeiker isn�t taking any chances and sent him to the nurse�s office. Heero
said that it was just plain embarrassing and sent me off to wait for him.
Fortunately, he didn�t hear any of that shit,� Duo said, looking relieved.

�� How can you do that� Trowa whispered, �How can you stand
up for Heero and not yourself?�

�� Quatre stared at his boyfriend, disbelieving that he would
ask question like that, but he understood where he was coming from. He had
never seen Duo be defensive or offensive unless it concerned one of his
friends. They had moved back into Heero�s house last week and had heard from
Heero about what had happened between Duo and Relena. Heero had seemed so proud
when he had told them about Duo forcing Relena out of the house and threatening
her and Quatre could see why. Duo was always so meek and closed off, no doubt a
long term affect from the abuse, and it was hard to imagine the longhaired boy
defending himself. However, when it came to other people, he didn�t seem to
have a problem with being aggressive. Quatre couldn�t believe that Relena had
the gall to show her face to Heero again after everything she had done and he
was furious about the bullshit she had fed Duo, but she hadn�t come back around
for the entire week so he hoped that she had left, but he didn�t count on it.
She didn�t have the good grace to give up so easily.

�� Nasty rumors about me have been flying around since Middle
School. I�ve never opened up to other kids and they don�t know anything about
me, so they made up stories. The only ones who don�t spread stupid rumors are
the very few people that know the truth about me and I know that you guys would
never go behind my back like that. People call me a slut and a fag because I�ve
never expressed an interest in women and because of my long hair and m
inability to take care of myself didn�t help the rumor mill, either. I�m just
used to ignoring it. There�s no real point in defending myself, until I tell
the truth, people are going to talk no matter what. I can handle it,� Duo
explained.

�� And Heero can�t?� Quatre questioned. Duo ran a hand
through his spiky bangs in frustration.

�� No, I don�t mean that. Heero�s strong, stronger than I
could ever hope to be, I just don�t want him to know about the rumors.�

�� Trowa sighed heavily.

�� That�s completely hypocritical. Why should you protect
Heero from this? Why should you have to live with this bullshit just because
you�re �used to it�? It�s slander and abusive. You may
not want these people as friends, but at the very least, they should respect
you enough not to say such insensitive crap!� Trowa ranted.

�� It�s just� easier, trying to protect the people I care
about. I don�t know why, but just the thought of doing the same for myself� it
makes me feel cold and sick,� Duo murmured. His eyes widened as Trowa hugged
him. Neither boys were used to such displays of affection, so it didn�t last
long, but Duo knew that Trowa meant it and it made him feel an intense love for
his friend. It was the kind of love he held for Solo and Shi, complex and
twisted, but powerful. He was sure that Trowa had never experienced what he,
Solo, and Shi had, but he was just as emotionally awkward and fragile,
something that Quatre and Wufei probably didn�t understand. Heero knew how it
felt a little with his lack of friends and the trauma he had gone through when
his father had died, but he had still had the stable support of his mother and
that had probably made a gigantic difference in how he was slowly recovering
from that loss. Trowa, for the most part, only had Quatre to really connect
with and the blonde was a world away in class and status, unable to understand
a lot of Trowa�s past and feelings. Trowa understood, better than Quatre did, just how horrible things were for Duo, even now. He was
so used to being beaten down that now, when he could fight back, just the thought of it made him sick. It was a
mental block, one he would be battling with his whole life and that sense of
permanency and loss of something every human being should naturally have, tore
at Trowa�s heart.

�� You won�t tell Heero about this, right?� Duo asked all
three of them in a small, unsure voice. Quatre looked frustrated at this
request. He wanted to tell Heero so, maybe, they could all put a stop to the
vicious rumors, but he didn�t think he could look Duo in the eye right now and
deny his request. Wufei nodded.

�� We�ll keep it a secret,� he assured him. Quatre sighed,
but nodded, too. For now, Heero didn�t need to know the truth, even if it meant
keeping things from their friend.

�� It was another Saturday and Duo felt restless, even as he
helped Name set the table. He had finished his homework last night and, though
he had plenty to do, he felt useless just staying in the house all day. His
nightly journeys to and from the park were, very slowly, rebuilding his
self-confidence. He still felt anxious and panicked when he left the house by himself,
but he realized that he couldn�t become a recluse. In the past, he would have
loved to just sit in his own space, safe and warm, but he had always been in
motion and now that he felt that he actually had the time to do something, he hated not doing something. He felt like he was
squandering a special gift by doing nothing when he finally had so many
opportunities. Even if he had a hard time dealing with solitude and strangers,
he should still try to test his
limits, maybe do something that he had always wanted to do The only problem
with that idea was that just going to school and not having to whore himself
anymore were the only things he had
truly wanted besides the mangled, deep rooted dream of family and, perhaps even
dating Heero, but he had a family of sorts now, even if it wasn�t official, and
his dreams of Heero would remain just that, no matter how hard he pushed
himself. He caught Name staring at him and realized that she had been looking
at him for several seconds now.

�� What?� he asked, blushing. She
smiled at him, her black eyes piercing as she looked at him.

�� You look much better, Duo,� she said simply. He raised an
eyebrow at her.

�� When I saw you in the hospital, you were emaciated, you couldn�t even sit up, let alone walk. But,
you�re doing so well now. You weight is normal and your muscle mass is starting
to rebuild itself. You look better now than you did when we first me,� she
said, thinking back on that moment fondly, but with a bit of sadness in her
eyes and voice.

�� It�s because of you,� Duo told her, �if it weren�t for
you, I�d be back to the way I as. Actually, I�d probably be dead.�

�� Name put a hand on his arm and kissed his forehead, making
his blush deepen. He fidgeted with the hem of his shirt.

�� I�m grateful for everything you�ve done for me but can I
ask you something?�

�� Of course,� Name encouraged him.

�� I� I want to do something, I mean, with my spare time.
It�s nice being with Heero, but I hate feeling so lazy and useless. Would it be
ok if I spent the weekends doing� something?�

�� Ok,� Name agreed, �I can see how not being active would
bother you after never having a moment�s rest. I don�t want you stressing yourself
out, but I can agree to just weekends. What is it that you want to do?�

�� Duo shrugged.

�� I don�t really know, actually,� he admitted, �I�ve never
had any free time that wasn�t spent incapacitated.�

�� Name looked at him sadly as she realized what he meant.

�� I�m sorry that you had to go through that. Everyone should
have a hobby, something that brings them happiness. You�re stunted emotionally because
of that. But, what are your dreams? What are the things you�ve always wanted to
do, but couldn�t? What are you interested in?� she asked. Duo struggled with
the right words.

�� I haven�t had any dreams,� he told her. Name looked at him
in shock.

�� Duo� everyone has dreams�� she said, startled at the
thought that someone his age wasn�t thinking of the future, had never had any
desires or hopes.

�� When I was little and living on the streets, I didn�t want
to think of things I couldn�t have. I wanted food, but that made me feel even
hungrier. I wanted shelter, but that only reminded me of how cold I was. When I
was with Wes, thinking of a future that would never happen made the reality
hurt even worse, believing that I would live and die a whore. When I met you
and Heero, I finally dared to dream. I wanted a normal life, a house, a family,
I wanted to be whole, mentally and emotionally, I wanted to have some sort of
free will. But, even when I dreamed of that, I never believed that I would get
it. It was more like a fantasy than a dream,� he confessed. Name�s eyes shone
with unshed tears and she hugged him tightly.

�� Oh, honey,� she murmured, �everyone should have dreams. It
give us hope, it give us goals.�

�� I couldn�t bare the pain of having hope,� Duo murmured,
�It only reminded me of everything I didn�t have and that I would die in some stranger�s
bed and not with people that loved me, because there was no one who loved me.�

�� Name�s grip tightened at his words and she struggled not to
cry, her strong maternal instincts telling her to protect the child in her
arms.

�� All I know is that I need to do something. But, I don�t know what that something is,� Duo said when
Name let go of him.

�� Sports?� she asked. Duo shook his head.

�� I�m terrible at it,� he said, embarrassed, �If gym was
based on performance, I�d be failing right now.�

�� Name chuckled.

�� Alright, what about clubs?�

�� Duo thought about that for a few seconds.

�� Well� I was wondering if I
could get a job,� he rubbed at the back of his head, �but I guess that�s
impossible. I don�t have social security or even a birth certificate.�

�� Name�s brow furrowed as she scrutinized him.

�� Why do you want to et a job?� she asked.

�� Well, it�s normal, isn�t it?� Duo
mentioned, �People my age get part time jobs so they can go to movies and go
out to dinner. It�s just� normal. I�ve only had one �job�, but I never got to
keep the money and it wasn�t ever normal or honest. I know you�re willing to
give me any money I need, but it makes me feel uncomfortable.�

�� Name sighed.

�� Alright,� she agreed, �I know you don�t like me giving you
hand outs and it would be a good experience for you to have a part time job.
Are you serious about this?�

�� Duo nodded and the woman�s smile returned.

�� Alright, if we�re going to do this, we�re going to do this
right. I�ll look up help wanted listings online and you can pick out which ones
you�d like to interview for. Don�t worry about your social security, I can take
care of that,� she assured him. Duo nodded.

�� Just� promise me you won�t get the job for me?� he urged.
It was part of what he needed. He needed to know that he could get by, that he
could be normal and independent, not because of the people he knew, but because
of his own skills. He didn�t want Name giving
him opportunities; he wanted to earn them himself. Name ruffled his hair.

�� Trust me, it�ll be up to you to get a job and it�ll be up
to you to keep it.�

�� How do people choose a job?� Duo wondered as he looked
through the printouts that Name had given him. There were just so many of them
and he hadn�t done any of them in his
life. The two closest one were for massages and modeling. He had taken one look
t these before throwing them in the trash. Name had looked relieved when he had
done so and he realized that she had never wanted to give him those, but she
had and that meant a lot to him. She really was letting him call all the shots,
letting him make his own decisions. It was the first time any adult had given
him power instead of taking it away. It made him love her even more that she
respected and trusted him and even saw him as an adult instead of a child that
needed to be restrained or led around by the hand. He sighed. Still, it was
very hard to make a decision about something he knew nothing about. He didn�t
know how to work a cash register or cook or deal with people �professionally.�
How would he answer questions about his past job experiences or why he had a
hard time dealing with people? He knew that he had to confront people sooner or
later, that was one of the reasons why he wanted to get a job but he was still
terrified of something like �cusstomer service�. Name
had told him not to push himself, but he just wanted his fears and anxieties to
go away.

�� What are you doing?� Heero asked as he walked into the
kitchen. Duo had been distracted all day, even during school, which was odd for
Duo.

�� I�m looking for a part time job,� Duo muttered. Heero
raised an eyebrow at that.

�� Ok, why?�

�� Because I need something to do. I
need to get out of this house or I�ll never get any better with my fears, but
mostly I need to experience things that normal people my age are supposed to
do.�

�� Heero sat down at the table with him.

�� What has you so frustrated,
then?�

�� Duo sighed again.

�� Ironically, it�s because I�ve never done any of these
things that I can�t find any I could do.�

�� Heero took a few sheets of the papers and flipped through
them.

�� What problems are you having?� he asked. Duo rubbed at his
eyes.

�� I�ve never worked on a cash register before and all the
cashiering jobs ask for experience, so that�s half of this pile down the drain.
I have problems dealing with people. No matter what I tell myself, no matter
how hard I try, when I have to deal with strangers, I freak out and with most
customer service jobs, I�ll have to deal with people that are pissed off or
rude and I� I just won�t be able to handle that. I can�t do any jobs with
construction or gardening because of my anemia and I definitely can�t work at a
place that requires background checks,� Duo said in frustration. Heero handed
him a printout that had caught his eye.

�� What about something like this?�

�� Duo took the paper from him.

�� The Cottage?� he asked. Heero nodded.

�� It�s a little store a few minutes from here. They sell souvenirs, knick knacks, and cheap paper goods. It
actually does a good business, but it�s not too crazy in there. Quatre likes to
go in there because they have good salt water taffy. The job�s for stocking, so
you won�t have to deal with people. All you have to do is help organize the
store and help with the inventory. You don�t need to have experience with it,
either.�

�� Duo bit his lip.

�� It�s a thought,� he decided and put it in the very light
�possible� pile. Heero smiled at him.

�� Why don�t you take a break, there�s something I need your
help with.�

�� Duo blinked at him.

�� What is it?�

�� Heero looked around the kitchen as though he expected some
sort of sinister conspiracy.

�� Not here, I�ll tell you at the mall.�

�� The mall? What�s at the mall?�

�� Duo had only been to the town mall a handful of times in
his entire life. He had heard stories from Solo about so-called �high-end�
hookers who got taken out on dates by their johns to the mall but he didn�t
really understand that concept. To him, being a whore meant having sex, not
going on �dates�. He hadn�t met a single man who preferred shopping and going
out to dinner with a cute boy on his arm over fucking a cute boy. The only times he had been taken to the mall
were so that his customers could fuck him in a restroom or dressing room. It
wasn�t a very appealing place for him to be now, even with Heero by his side.
It was terribly crowded and he found himself constantly molding himself against
Heero to get away from people that just didn�t understand what �personal space�
meant. His heart was pounding in his chest at the close proximity of strangers
and he felt like he was on the verge of panicking. With all of the sounds and
myriad of people assaulting his senses, he was having a hard time focusing. It
was unbearably warm, the light too bright, the sounds of crying infants and
screaming children made his head pound along with the sharp smell of perfume.
He gasped as Heero suddenly grabbed his arm and pulled him into a bookstore. He
sagged against the wall, the closest flat surface he could find, placing his
hands on his knees and lowering his head, he simply focused on his breathing so
he wouldn�t start to hyperventilate. Heero watched his friend pant in alarm.

�� I�m so sorry, Duo,� he quickly apologized, �I�m such an
idiot, I wasn�t thinking��

�� Duo shook his head as he got himself under control.

�� It�s not your fault,� he assured him,
�I just don�t like being surrounded like that.�

�� Heero nodded in understanding.

�� Actually, I hate crowds, too,� Heero
admitted, �that�s why I rarely come here.�

�� Duo sat up straight and looked around the store. He sighed
in relief as he noted that only a few people were shopping here, most of the
older women with their noses in books and none of them paying any attention to
them. It wasn�t a tried and true bookstore, it was large with wide spaces and
shelves to the ceiling stocked with all sorts of books, with sections for paper
goods, electronics, and even a small caf� tucked away in the corner where two
businessmen were sipping lattes and doing work on their computers in silence.
The only smells and sounds to be had were the aromas of soothing vanilla and
the slight hazelnut from the coffee and the smooth jazz playing overhead. All
around the store, there were big, comfy chairs to sit and read.

�� This is nice,� Duo mused. It was much better than the
�hip� clothing stores reeking of perfume and pop music or the electronic stores
that were far too crowded.

��

�Why are we here?� Duo
finally asked when his heart had calmed down. Heero had been pretty secretive
about their trip to the mall, saying that he would tell him once they got
there.

�� Quatre�s birthday is next week,� Heero informed him, �I
need your help picking out a gift.�

�� Duo raised an eyebrow at him.

�� I�ve only been friends with him for less than three
months, you�ve been friends with him since you were kids. Why do you need help
getting him a gift?� he asked.

�� Actually, I was hoping we could get him a joint gift,�
Heero confessed. Duo mulled that over. Joint gifts were the sorts of things
sibling or lovers did and it made his face feel hot. It was a stupid thought,
but it still made him feel weird inside.

�� I�ve never given anyone a gift before,� he said softly, �I
have no idea what to get him.�

�� Sure you do.�

�� I don�t know anything about him!� Duo protested, starting
to feel panicked again. He had never celebrated his own birthday before, he
wasn�t even entirely sure when it was, he only called himself fifteen based on
logic and how many years he remembered being able to do certain thins, plus how
he was placed when he had gone to middle school. He had no idea what would be
acceptable for Quatre�s 18^th birthday.

�� What�s his favorite book?� Heero prompted.

�� The DaVinci Code,� Duo answered, amazed at how quickly the
answer came to him.

�� Favorite movie?�

�� National Treasure,� Duo said, rolling his eyes.

�� Favorite food?�

�� Chicken risotto.�

�� Favorite color?�

�� Green.�

�� Chocolate or vanilla ice cream?�

�� Neither, he likes coffee and he likes marble cake with
maple frosting the best,� Duo said confidently. Heero smirked at him.

�� See? You�ll be lots of help. We just need to figure out
what kind of gift we�re getting him. 18�s a big deal.�

�� Duo nodded. He didn�t know much about the significances of
certain ages, but that sounded right. Weren�t 18 year olds considered adults?
Heero looked just as intimidated by the thought of shopping as he felt.

�� Well, instead of wandering around aimlessly and just
picking up random stuff, why don�t we narrow things down?� Duo offered. Heero
relaxed. He remembered all the times that he and Relena had gone shopping
together and how much he had hated it. His ex-fianc� would touch and hold
everything she could reach, spending hours scrutinizing thins, then asking his
opinion about it, if it would suit her or not, but even if he hated something,
if she thought it was �fetching� she would buy it anyway. In his opinion, the
whole experience had been a huge waste of time, but Duo wasn�t like her. Duo
would never be like her. He would listen to his opinion; he wouldn�t make him
feel useless.

�� I think that we should rule out books. Quatre�s more into
music than reading and getting him one big gift would probably be better than a
ton of books,� Duo pointed out.

�� Yeah,� Heero agreed, �he reads every now and then, but he
loves music more than anything else. The only things he likes almost as much as
music are electronics. He�s still enthralled by the IPhone we got him last
year.�

�� Duo gnawed on his lip as he thought. Heero smiled softly at
him. He looked so cute when he was concentrating on something and now that he
did have something to focus on, he wasn�t anxious anymore. He could see the
good that getting a job would do for him. He wanted to protect Duo so badly,
but he also wanted to see him happy and whole and he could only do that by
trying to deal with people, not ignore them. Throwing him into a crowded
stressful situation wouldn�t help, it was just going to make things worse, but
if he could only try to deal with a few people at a time, it would be one more
step towards him becoming social instead of staying isolated.

�� What about one of those IPets?� Duo piqued up.

�� What?� Heero asked.

�� I saw it on TV last week. They�re these cool looking
robots shaped like animals. You can download music into them and they light up,
sing, and movie n time with the music,� Duo said excitedly, which made Heero
smirk.

�� That�s the best idea I�ve heard so far. Do you want one?� he said, only half
teasing. Duo shrugged.

�� It sounds cool, but so many people use them to replace
real pets. I think that�s really depressing.�

�� Do you like animals?� Heero asked, filing the conversation
away in his mind for further speculation. Duo nodded energetically. Heero
watched him fondly, wondering when he had last seen him so energetic.

�� I love animals! I�ve always wanted a pet, but obviously, I
could never have one. In middle school, I loved reading about animals I had
never seen. I always wanted to go to the zoo.�

�� Heero smiled.

�� Well, I think getting an IPet is a good idea. We just have
to figure out what kind.�

�� Duo beamed, realizing that he had helped Heero and he would
be responsible for getting one of his friends a gift. It made his friendship
with Quatre seem more double-sided, more real. Still, his talk about animals
just reminded him of the closest things to pets he had had and, even with his
nightly trips, all he wanted for them and how much he missed them.

��

��

�� Nine days later

�� Relena left the limousine without saying a word to Pagan,
knowing that he wouldn�t follow her unless she told him to. Things hadn�t been
going well for her lately, something that she wasn�t used to. When she had come
to America,
she had been sure that she wouldn�t be staying for long. She would settle her
differences with Heero and they would go back to England together, but that hadn�t
happened. Heero refused to go back with her. Duo refused to back down. And now,
all she wanted was to find out about Duo�s past, but she was constantly hitting
road blocks. A �Duo Maxwell� was attending school, but he didn�t exist anywhere
else. There were no dental records, social security, passport, or even a birth
record. It was impossible� Unless, and she sincerely believed this, he wasn�t
who he claimed to be, he was a criminal, trying to bring the Yuy family down
like some sort of cancer, from the inside out. This belief had instilled in her
a deep urgency to separate her Heero from the longhaired boy, but how could she
ever get the upper hand if she knew nothing about her enemy? After checking the
records, she had resorted to tracking down Duo�s classmates. To her surprise,
she hadn�t needed to bribe anyone, the teenagers had been happy to talk to her
about what they thought about Duo. However, she found that most of it was nasty
gossip. She had had to slap one girl for suggesting that her Heero was having
sex with the gutter brat. There was one rumor that had caught her interest,
that one of her brother�s friends had put Duo in the hospital and Heero had
attacked said friend in turn. The main difference between this rumor and the
others was that it was easy to validate. She hadn�t talked to her brother since
the divorce and she had no intention of speaking to him now. It was ironic that
she had found Heero in the very town that her mother and older brother had
moved to. It was easy to find out the only person in the town�s hospital that
her brother had known. She remembered Alex Mueller and was surprised that the
friend in question was him. It had been a little bit harder finding out if Duo
had been in the hospital. The closest she could find was one �Dwayne Yue� whose
records were sealed. It became obvious to her that Name had kept Duo a secret
from the press and public. She didn�t care about that, but she wanted to know why he had spent weeks in the hospital
and why Mueller was still there, which was why she was walking through the
hospital waiting room right now. She spotted a blonde nurse at the front desk
and raised an eyebrow at her name tag, which read �Leia Barton.�

�� I need to see a patient�s chart,� she said quickly. The
nurse blinked at her.

�� Oh, is someone you know here?� she asked kindly. Relena
flicked her long hair over her shoulder.

�� No, I need the chart of someone who was already released.
I�m willing to pay you quite a lot for it.��

�� Leia narrowed her eyes at the younger girl.

�� I�m sorry, I can�t help you.�

�� Dwayne Yue,� Relena pressed, �Surely you remember a boy with
that name.�

�� The nurse froze, her eyes widening in fear.

�� I think you should leave now,� she said coldly.

�� My name is Relena Peacecraft, do you understand?� Relena
said haughtily. She smirked when the nurse stiffened.

�� I think I have less to fear from little rich girls than
that boy�s guardian,� Leia informed her.

�� So, she�s already gotten to you,� Relena mused in
frustration. If Name had already threatened the nurse, she realized angrily,
she was never going to see Duo�s file.

�� Fine, in that case, I want you to take me to Alex
Mueller�s room. You can do that can�t you?� she jeered. Leia sighed. She wanted
to get this girl out of her hair before she got into trouble with Mrs. Yuy but
she knew that Mueller could have visitors, though he hadn�t had a single one
thus far. If she escorted her to him, she would leave her alone, she thought
logically.

�� This way.�

�� Relena didn�t know what had happened to the boy that she
had used to see playing with her older brother, but it couldn�t have been
pretty. His left leg and right arm were in casts, there was a bandage on the
side of his head from a concussion and more bandages around his chest from
shattered ribs, not to mention several bruises and a black eye.

�� Hello, Alex,� she said sweetly when the nurse left.

�� Relena,� Alex growled, �what the fuck do you want?�

�� Relena sat at the edge of his bed.

�� I just came by to see how you�re feeling,� she lied and
was startled when Alex laughed at her.

�� Pull the other one, Peacecraft. I know you well, so don�t
give me bullshit.�

�� You want the truth?� she asked sharply, �Fine. I want
Heero to come back to England
with me, but there�s this boy, Duo, that�s in my way. There�re rumors that
Heero put you in the hospital because you put Duo in the hospital. I want to
know the truth.�

�� Alex�s expression turned angry and he snorted.

�� Good luck with that, bitch! You mean to tell me that after
everything that happened, Yuy�s back with that faggot?! I can�t believe this
shit! After everything I suffered through! Yeah, your brother and I tried to
separate the two of them, but if we couldn�t do it, there�s no way in hell you
can! I don�t know where you get your information from, but it�s total bullshit!
Yuy didn�t put me in the hospital and the most I did to Maxwell was force him
to give me a blow job and I�m not ashamed to say that it was fucking incredible!�

�� Relena stared at him with wide blue eyes.

�� What the hell are you talking about?!� she nearly
screeched. Alex smirked at her, glad for the painkillers as the move made his
eye ache.

�� It turns out your brother�s got a little crush on your longhaired enemy, but when the
little bitch refused him, he somehow managed to get Maxell to whore himself so Zechs
wouldn�t beat the crap out of him. However, when Yuy came along, Maxwell
refused to do it anymore. We wanted to break Heero and Duo up, so we
blackmailed Maxwell to have sex with us and Heero found out about it. We
thought for sure that that would do the trick, but I guess not. A few days
later, Duo doesn�t come back to school and I get beat up by a bunch of whores!
I�m sure even you can put two and two together. Just a word of advice: give up
on Yuy. He isn�t worth it,� Alex grumbled, looking at his broken arm, �now
leave me alone, I�m tired.�

�� Relena slammed the hospital door behind her, seething,
confused, and her thoughts whirling around in her brain. She felt like she had
more questions now than when she had
entered the hospital. She wouldn�t have put it past a boy like Maxwell to be
friends with whores, but the rest was just too much. It was disgusting, really.
She had never been aware of her brother�s perversions. It was never acceptable
fore someone to use another person just for �release�, but that her own brother had taken up with a fag was
just� nasty. Still, Alex and Zechs� idea hadn�t been a bad one, but her brother
had never been overly intelligent and had probably done something to mess it
up. But� why on Earth would Heero forgive him for something so despicable?
Surely, he could see what a bad person his so-called best friend was! Even at
first glance, she had known that the boy was a slut, but Heero was soft. He
forgave his friends too easily, especially if he thought that they could
change. She was sure that that was the reason. Maxwell had probably claimed to
change his ways and Heero had bought that. Well, she didn�t. People didn�t
change, especially trash like Maxwell. She smiled to herself. If she didn�t get
rid of him, who knew what sorts of terrible things he would do Heero? But, most
importantly, she saw Duo�s flaws and she was more than capable of exposing
them.

��

�� It constantly amazed Duo how protective Name was of him. He
didn�t know, maybe that was how mothers naturally were. He had never had a
mother, so he had nothing to compare her behavior to. It drove him insane
sometimes. He had spent his entire life with no one looking out for his best
interests, no one willing to try to protect him from the monsters of the world.
He loved Solo and Shi deeply, as brothers and comrades. They were the closest
thing to a family he had ever had, but they were whores and hard working ones
at that, so they had rarely seen each other. It was hard to bond when they were
moving from one job to the next. They had managed to stay so connected because
they understood each other and knew that one day, one or maybe all of them
would be gone. Duo didn�t blame them for not trying to protect them in the same
way he didn�t blame Po for not helping him.
Solo and Shi had their own problems to deal with, just trying to survive, like
he had. If he blamed them for not helping him he�d also have to blame himself
for not helping them. He missed them badly, though. The one thing he could say
about the group of whores he had befriended was that, whenever he really, truly
needed them, they had been there for him. Sometimes, just having an
understanding ear was more important than being saved. He wanted to see them, to
let them know that he was safe and loved now. If he ever got a job, he wanted
to give his paychecks to them. They would probably hate him for the charity,
but it would make him feel better knowing that he was finally able to give
something back after all they had done for him, but trying to contact them
meant going back there, all by
himself and, he was ashamed to admit, he just wasn�t strong enough for that
step yet. So, while Name�s protective behavior annoyed him, simply because he
wasn�t used to it, he also loved it because it was sweet and made him feel
loved that she would go through such lengths to make sure he stayed safe But,
after being under Wes� oppressive rule for such a long time, he also treasured
his freedom and he was glad to see that Name as also trying very hard to
respect him. It had taken what seemed like forever, but, little by little, he
had worn her down to finally agreeing that being cooped up in the house day and
night with the exception of school and occasionally going out with Heero,
wasn�t healthy for him and he, in turn, agreed that going out on his own, deep
into town, wasn�t a good idea, either. Name was no longer so worried about him
being kidnapped by Wes as him having a panic attack where she and Heero
couldn�t get to him. So, in preparation of him joining the work force, Name had
agreed to let him go grocery shopping on his own. It wasn�t so daunting of a
task. He had gone shopping with Name before, so he knew where to go and what to
do. Grocery shopping wasn�t something new to him, but picking out which brands
were best instead of what was cheapest and using a credit card, something he
had heard about, but never even touched, instead of wads of crumpled bills, was new. He thought he had it down,
though. The grocery store was only a few blocks away, so Name was letting him
walk on foot, which made him feel better than taking the bus, but he felt weird
with her gold card in his jacket pocket. He could buy a house with it if he
wanted to and that feeling of financial freedom made him feel sick. He didn�t
know if it was the responsibility or the money itself, but it bothered him.
Most adults would never trust a teenager with a credit card, but Name had
assured him that if there was anyone that she could trust with it, it was him.
That had given his ego a great big boost. Wes had never trusted him. He was
like a stray dog, willing to take handouts and an occasional pat, but never
trusting anybody or anything. After every job, he had strip searched him. It
was embarrassing enough having Wes check him for hidden money, it was something
else knowing that a man who was so untrustworthy himself not trust him, despite
having confidence that the training he had instilled in Duo as a child would at
least keep him honest with the constant, lingering threat of pain. Duo shook
his head as he walked. He had only taken money from him that first job, to get
some dinner, and never once after that, that one time had been more than enough
for him. If anything, Name should have less trust of him than Wes had because
she had never punished him, even when he had done something wrong. He was still
embarrassed of one incident that had happened the first week he had lived with
the Yuy�s. He had still been adjusting to his new medicine back then and his anemia
had left him weak with a feeble grip on things. He had been helping Name was
the dishes when one of them had slipped from his fingers and smashed on the
floor around his feet. Name had ordered him to stay still and had left the
kitchen quickly. Keeping still, just like he had been told, he had started to
cry, not because he was scared of being punished, but because he had done
something bad and upset the only woman that had ever cared about him. Name had
quickly returned with a broom and cleaned up the mess. She had given him a hug
and informed him that she would only ever punish him for doing something
really, really bad like driving one of the cars because he didn�t have a
license or if she caught him smoking, but she would never, ever strike him. He
had never even thought of that, that she would never hit him. It was an alien
concept, to be punished without sex or pain. She had then made him sit down so
she could check him for any cuts and made him hot chocolate to soothe his
anxiety. It was just one of those things that no one had done for him before
and it had shocked him that the normally hard woman could be so soft and
caring. It was a bitter sweet memory for him, fond because it had been his
first taste of home made hot chocolate and a feeling of true relief and
security, but embarrassing for having such an emotional outburst when he now
knew better.

�� It was only six at night when Duo had left the house to
walk to the grocery store. It was late February, almost March, and the brisk
winter weather was lethargically melting away into spring so he no longer
needed his heavy winter coat. There were a lot of dead end alleys in this part
of town, used by delivery trucks to access the cargo bays and backs of the
stores, but the area was fairly well lit even if there was no one else out. He
looked back over his shoulder as a group of teens joined him on the side walk. There
were five of them, seniors that he recognized from school, but he didn�t know
any of their names. He generally stayed away from the upper class men and he
couldn�t help but be nervous of them, but they were chatting and keeping to
themselves. He didn�t think any of their presence until he heard their steps
speed up. Out of habit, he automatically quickened his own steps. In a shop
window, he caught their reflection and swore in his head as he saw they were
spreading out like a pack of wolves stalking a young deer and he realized what
they were trying to do. He didn�t bother trying to hide that he had found them out;
he just broke out into a run. There was no one on the street to help him and he
had learned as a child not to put his survival in the hands of strangers. The
grocery store was too far away, so as he ran, he looked for a store he could
hide in. They were obviously looking for privacy to do whatever they were
planning and he could easily wait them out or call Name for help. He vowed that
if he survived this, he would never leave the house without a weapon and a cell
phone, but he had honestly believed that he wouldn�t have to deal with this
sort of thing anymore. He didn�t know what was scarier, that he was very much
all alone and pretty much helpless or that he had no idea what the seniors were
going to do to him if they caught him. He was a fast runner, but he recognized
at least two of them as members of the school track team. The odd thing was
that he knew that these boys didn�t hang out together during school. He
suddenly realized that this wasn�t going to be a crime of consequence or
convenience, it was a tactical strike. They had been waiting for him and this
whole thing had been planned.

�� Duo wasn�t shocked when the two track team members caught
up with him. He had gotten much father than he had thought he would, but he
didn�t even have the chance to scream when he was grabbed by the back of his
jacket and dragged into the blackness of an alley.

��

�� Duo gave out a sharp intake of breath as he was slammed
against an alley wall, a hand pressed tightly against his mouth. He struggled
against them as they forced him to the ground.

�� Quit it,� the tallest one ordered and he was slapped, but
the hand remained, silencing him. Duo glared at them. The tall boy smirked down
at him. He realized that they didn�t have any weapons, but they didn�t need to.
Two of the boys restrained him, a third keeping him from screaming as the tall
one who Duo considering the leader, watched him with piercing brown eyes. The
fourth stood behind him with a video camera, taping the whole thing, Duo saw in
shock.

�� I know what you�re thinking,� the leader said in a teasing
tone, � �Just what is going on here?� Well, I�m not a bad person,� he kneeled
in front of Duo so they were eye to eye and Duo felt his heart pound as he saw
the hungry look there.

�� Oh, fuck no�� he thought in fear.

�� It�s nothing personal, Maxwell,� the tall boy assured him,
�we�re not doing this just for kicks. It�s not everyday you�re approached by a
cute, little blonde girl with a wad of cash.�

�� Duo�s eyes widened. Relena� what was she thinking?!

�� It�s going to be the easiest money I�ve ever made,� the
senior smirked, � �Rape him and tape it,� she told us, something about showing
your true colors, frankly, I don�t care. The boys here are strapped for cash.
Me? This is just plain fun,� he said,
running a finger down Duo�s cheek, his grin growing as Duo tried to flinch away
from him.

�� Don�t worry, I�ll be gentle.�

�� Duo squeezed his eyes closed. He couldn�t believe this was
happening again� Why? Why did he have to endure this over and over and over
again? Maybe this really was his destiny� Heero and Name couldn�t save him this
time, he was all alone again. He thrashed as the senior leaned in to kiss his
neck, his large hands slipping under his shirt, his fingers trailing lightly
over his stomach, his heat searing.

�� You�re so cute,� the boy murmured and Duo screamed muffled
as his other hand slid down the back of his pants, gripping at one soft cheek.

�� Damn,� the tall boy licked his lips, �your ass is nicer
than my girlfriend�s.�

�� Duo�s legs trembled as they were released and the boy
molded himself against him.

�� You are a sweet little thing, I might not want to share
you with these four,� the boy continued as he rubbed one of Duo�s petal soft
nipples, pinching it and smirking at Duo�s distorted cry.

�� Hey!� the boy holding the camera protested, �I want some
of the action, too!�

�� The leader ignored him, letting go of Duo�s nipple to unzip
the longhaired boy�s pants, his hand searching for his cock.

�� Hello there,� Duo
heard a low voice say softly from behind him. The seven year old jumped out of
the dumpster where he had been looking for some old morsel of food before he
would be too weak to move, ready to run. It was the strange blonde man that had
been hanging around for the past year, but how had he gotten the drop on him?
He didn�t say anything to the man, not trusting him.

�� I�ve
seen you around,� the grey eyed man said, �You don�t belong to any of the
gangs, do you?�

�� Duo
shook his head, realizing that the man was standing between him and his only
exit, but instead of trying to grab him, the man crouched down and smiled
kindly at him.

�� Are
you hungry, little one? You look hungry� I don�t have much, but probably more
than you have. Tell you what, why don�t you come with me, I can make you a
sandwich��

�� Despite
his fear of the man, the thought of food, not just something rotten or a few
bites, but something fresh and homemade, made him realize his terrible hunger
and empty stomach. He started to shake.

�� What�s
the catch?� he asked, his caution�s screaming voice drowned out by the hollowness
inside him.

�� A job,
that�s all. It�s not dangerous and it�s really easy. I�ll give you even more
food if you do it well,� the man said, reaching his hand out for Duo�s, waiting
for the answer. Duo mulled it over, but this hunger made it hard to think. He
nodded and took the man�s very large hand.

�� He
tried to move off the bed, but he couldn�t.

�� He was
trapped.

�� You
and I are going to have a little bit of harmless fun.�

�� Me?
This is just plain fun.�

�� Duo�s heart slammed in his chest unpleasantly, his
vision wavering as a hot hand caressed his cock in his jeans and more hands
ripped the pants open, tugging his boxers down, fingers stroked his stomach and
chest as his shirt was pulled up and cold air hit him. Tears streamed down his
cheeks and he screamed and thrashed as two fingers thrust in between his ass
cheeks and inside of his body.

�� Wes spread his
buttocks and pressed a finger to his entrance. Tears built up in his eyes as he
felt the rough calluses on his virgin body.

�� No��
he choked as the finger slipped inside of him, spreading him.

�� �Please don�t, please, please, I don�t want it inside
me!� Duo thought, starting to hyperventilate.

�� Why? I didn�t do anything, I�ll be a good boy, I promise!�

�� Duo squeezed his eyes
shut and screamed as the blonde man shoved into him brutally, his heavy cock
ripping through him.

�� �It hurts� it hurts�� he sobbed inside of his head as
he started to fade away and he stared past the tall boy, back through time.

�� Blood pooled, thick
and hot, down his body and onto the sheets, creating a large puddle as Wes
thrust in and out of him, rocking his much smaller, damaged body. Duo�s mind
was blank except for the incredible pain.

�� That�s
ok,� Wes panted like an animal as he fucked the child underneath him, �scream
all you want, kid, no one�s going to come for you.�

�� The fingers slid out of him, but Duo didn�t notice.
All he could feel was a huge, phantom cock destroying his body and a torrent of
blood that didn�t exist. He could smell him� Wes� unique smell.

�� Heero�� the small child that Duo was slowly becoming
sobbed. His vision was graying� he was choking� There was so much blood and the
unbearable pain�

�� That�s it, struggle,
perfect��

�� He was dying� his strength, his growth� he could feel
himself, the person he wanted to be, slipping away as his memories came to him,
winding back his clock. Oh, god, it hurts so bad� was he breathing? Where was
he? Cum� thick, sickening, hot cum was inside him, but though the blood was
dripping out of him in huge rivers, the semen remained inside, like a cancer,
just growing and growing.

�� No no no no no no no!� the child screamed. Not again he
couldn�t survive this; he didn�t want to survive this! He heard footsteps
approaching. Chris� was he here, too?

�� Hot lips pressed against his and a tongue wormed inside of
his mouth. He opened his eyes slowly. He felt blind as red light filled his vision.
He bit down as hard as he could on the invading muscle and when the boy reared
back in shock and pain, he kicked him square in the face, shattering his nose.
The other four were just as shocked. The longhaired boy had seemed� gone mentally,
but suddenly, he was back, looking both terrified and angry at the same time.
Duo barely registered the reality through his memories. He could only �see� Wes
and feel him inside of him, always inside of him. He thrashed against the two
boys holding his arms and, in their shocked state, managed to free himself. He
felt detached from himself, watching his actions from a distance as he moved
both outside and inside himself. Heero� Heero was safe� he had to get the blood
off, had to get Wes� seed out of him� the child was screaming, wanting to run
away from the memories, the sickness, and the filthiness that was clinging to
his skin. He kicked one boy in the stomach, making him double over, and elbowed
the other in the throat. The boy with the camera dropped it to join the fight
as the small boy knocked down the others.

�� What is going on here?!� a vaguely familiar voice
bellowed, �Leave that boy alone!�

�� Duo saw Pagan from over camera-boy�s shoulder, his old face
angry, but his broken mind didn�t recognize him. He saw himself grip at his
torn pants with one hand and snatch up the camera with the other, but he had a
hard time seeing the camera. The only boy left standing glared at Relena�s
driver.

�� Old man,� he growled, but Pagan stood firm.

�� If you don�t leave Mr. Maxwell alone, I�m going to call
the cops,� Pagan threatened. The teenager paled as he realized the trouble he
was in and ran out of the alley. Pagan turned to Duo, who was no shaking badly.
The boy looked like Hell, his face white and his eyes wild, he looked like he
was going to faint at any moment.

�� Mr. Maxwell, I�m so sorry,� the driver apologized, unsure
of whether or not he should approach the teen, �I heard Relena talking to one
of them on her cell phone� I should have come sooner.�

�� Duo remained silent and as he ran past Pagan, he seemed to
not notice him at all.

�� Duo whimpered as another person bumped into him as he
walked. He felt the person look at him, taking in his disheveled appearance,
his tortured expression, his shaking and torn clothing, but never made a move
to help him. There were too many people� were they going to rape him, too? Did
the whole world hate him? Want to hurt him? His pants were soaked with cum and
blood and he couldn�t stop shaking. It was so cold. The sounds were muted, yet
chaotic around him, like furious bees. He couldn�t stop crying as he walked
aimlessly. He felt so broken, he couldn�t grasp at anything concrete. He needed
to go someplace safe, where no one could find him, were Wes couldn�t find him.
He was chasing him, wasn�t he? The camera was clenched in his grip, but he
couldn�t see, he couldn�t feel
anything but pain and blood and cold, his vision was bright lit and a black
hole was starting to build, deep in his mind. He felt so small� He wanted to
run, but his legs were so heavy and useless, like a doll�s. Had the drugs worn
off yet? How had he gotten away from the apartment? He couldn�t remember, he
didn�t want to remember. Wes would find him, he would hurt him, just like he
had promised, but he had nowhere to hide� so why was he moving so quickly?
Where was he going? The black hole started to grow, sucking him inside.

�� Name looked up at the clock for the fifth time since Duo
had left. She couldn�t help but feel anxious. She hadn�t liked letting Duo out
by himself, but he had to take that step on his own. She knew that not enough
time had passed for her to worry, but it was becoming a part of her nature.
Suddenly, the door slammed open and the alarm screeched. She ran out into the
hall to catch the intruder, but instead saw Duo in the hall, his clothes
ripped, his eyes red from crying, looking like a blind corpse.

�� Duo!� she cried out in alarm, but the boy didn�t see or
hear her, running past her, up the steps. Heero came out of the laundry room
and ran after his friend.

�� I�ll talk to him, turn off the alarm,� he called back as
he ran up the steps. Name ran a hand through her short hair and went to turn
off the alarm, anxiety eating through her usual calm.

�� As some of Duo�s senses started to come back to him, he
found himself in his bathroom. His current self recognized it and cried in
relief, but his child self, the part that he had successfully buried so long
ago, the part that was now at the surface, only saw the bathroom as shelter and
warmth, a place where he could finally be
clean, after all of those long years. With a shaking hand, Duo turned on the
hot water and managed to shed himself of shoes, sock, jacket and shirt, the
child wondering how he knew how to work the shower when he had never taken one
before. The torn jeans refused to come off and he gave out a frustrated wail.
Blood poured down his legs and pooled around his bare feet on the once clean
tiles. He stumbled into the shower, his jeans becoming soaked, but he didn�t
care. In frustration, he peeled jeans and boxers off and tilted his head
towards the water. He looked down and saw thick, crimson blood and creamy semen
swirling down the drain, but he still didn�t feel clean. He grabbed the soap,
kneeling on his knees as standing hurt his insides, and scrubbed viciously at
his blood and cum stained thighs. Everything hurt and a high pitched buzzing
was starting to build in the back of his mind. He brought up his hands and saw
that they were also stained with blood, the thick stuff dripping down his arms.

�� No�� he cried, turning the heat up as high as it could go,
but the water refused to wash away the blood and the heat, while it scalded his
skin, couldn�t reach his chill. Blood continued to stream down his legs from
his mutilated entrance in a never ending torrent.

�� He was never going to be clean, he realized and sat on the
floor of the tub, his legs curled up in the steaming water. He laid his head
against the wall in resignation, shivering and unable to stop his tears. He was
always going to be filthy, this mutated, tainted� thing. He wasn�t even human anymore� Why did he have to survive
this? His heart� his mind� whatever soul he might have possessed� were already
dead. Wasn�t it� logical� that his
body should also follow? What was the point in just living? Wes was coming
after him and he was sick of the cold, sick of the pain, sick of the wanting
and the hunger. The blood felt so hot on his hands and thighs. His insides
throbbing, he folded his legs close to his body and wrapped his arms around his
knees, his body shaking violently, his eyes staring blankly ahead. He didn�t
feel any different, not clean, not warm. He grabbed the bloody soap and
scrubbed at hi genitals and torn entrance again, not carrying that he was
hurting himself and rubbing his skin raw. The self inflicted pain was so much
better than what that� man� had done to him. There couldn�t possibly be any
semen inside him. He had to have washed it all away, but he could feel it inside of him, hot and thick. He
smelled like him, he realized. He had scrubbed and scrubbed, but he could still
smell him on his skin, it wasn�t going away�

�� Heero could hear the shower going in Duo�s bathroom. He had
allowed him a few minutes of privacy by vacating to his own room, but he was
worried. He couldn�t get that blind, wild-eyed look out of his head. Maybe it
was another panic attack. If that was the case, all of the privacy in the world
wasn�t going to make it better. He knocked on Duo�s bathroom door.

�� Duo, are you ok?� he called. There was no answer, but
Heero could hear a sound over the water that sounded like a child crying.

�� Shit,� he muttered. He didn�t want to invade Duo�s
privacy, especially if he was in the shower, though there was that part of him
that was always looking for an excuse to see his friend naked, but right now
his worry was stronger than those other feelings.

�� Duo, if you don�t answer me, I�m coming in,� Heero tried,
speaking a bit louder, but Duo still didn�t respond. When Heero turned the
knob, he found, oddly, that the door wasn�t locked. Whether Duo had simply
forgotten that he could or he had been in too much of a hurry, he didn�t know.

�� Duo?� he called out again as he entered the bathroom. The
whole place was steamed up badly, making it hard to see and he had to turn on
the fan. Duo�s clothes were strewn around the room, a camera, oddly, tossed in
between the toilet and the cabinet. Heero glared at the torn pair of jeans.
What had happened? Had Wes found him or maybe one of his customers? Zechs,
maybe?

�� The shower curtain was wide open, water pooling on the tiles
around the shower and Heero blushed when he saw Duo. At first, all his mind could
register was that his best friend was very naked. He was about to open his
mouth to apologize, his face on fire and his libido raging, when his eyes
finally took in the rest of Duo�s state. His hair was still braided, plastered
to his slim back and pooled on the shower floor. His face was buried in his
arms as he had them wrapped around his legs and he was both rocking and
shaking, in one he was clutching the bar of blue soap so tightly that his
fingers had left grooves. Any attraction or arousal Heero had felt was quickly
replaced by frantic worry.

�� Duo,� he tried for a third time, but to his dismay the boy
still either refused to acknowledge him, or rather, he couldn�t hear him. He
appeared to be in some sort of trance, but the child-like crying was horrible
to listen to. Heero wanted to take him into his arms, but was afraid that the
sudden contact would make things worse. All he knew was that he wanted Duo out
of the searing water, back amongst the living, and to find out what was wrong
so he could make this all better again.

�� Duo?�

�� Heero had never seen anyone have a psychotic episode
before, but when Duo suddenly looked at him with terrified eyes, he realized
that that was what it was.

�� Heero?� Duo asked in a voice that sounded more like a small
child than a teenager. Heero nodded, kneeling down to make himself smaller, as
though he was trying to approach a frightened cat.

�� Yeah, Duo, it�s me,� he said in a soft voice that cracked
when he said Duo�s name. He looked so scared and lost; it was taking all of his
will power not to sweep him up into his arms. A tiny bit of the fear left Duo�s
eyes when he recognized the Japanese boy. Heero reached out to touch him, but
Duo pressed himself against the shower wall, shying away from him.

�� Don�t touch,� he murmured, �You�ll get dirty, too.�

�� Heero tried his hardest to smile reassuringly at him, glad
that Duo wasn�t refusing his touch because he was scared of him. He needed to
touch him to get Duo down from the high, precarious place he was trapped in now.

�� That�s ok, I don�t mind getting dirty,� Heero tried to
assure him, even as tears prickled at his vision. He successfully pried the
soap out of Duo�s hand and put it on the edge of the tub. He honestly had no
idea what to do in this situation and found himself floundering. Worst of all,
Duo was obviously in a state where he couldn�t tell Heero what he needed him to
do to make the monsters go away. He wondered if this was how a parent felt when
they were faced with a crying infant, knowing something was wrong, but not
knowing now to fix it. Dirty� this wasn�t the first time he had heard Duo
describe himself as that and he hated it just as much now as he had the first
time. Duo shook his head frantically as he felt Heero�s fingers touch his hand
to take the soap from him. Somehow, those fingers felt warmer than the water
did.

�� There�s too much blood,� Duo moaned, hysteria starting to
build inside of him, but the closer Heero got to him, the quieter the buzzing
got.

�� I can�t clean it no matter how hard I try,� Duo�s arms
tightened around his knees, �I can�t get clean,� he looked down, between his
legs and watched his blood as it went down the drain wit ha haunted look in his
eye. Heero�s heart pounded as he felt a momentary jolt of panic at the mention
of blood. Was he hurt? Heero frantically followed where Duo was looking, only
with a slight feeling of embarrassment as studying Duo�s body, but there wasn�t
anything sexual about it. Duo was acting like a lost child and while, if he
tried to think of it that way, his body was arousing, his concern and love for
his friend was like a mental road block against his lust.

�� He touched me� for hours� all over� I can�t get the stench
off,� Duo murmured as Heero searched for the blood. Heero realized as his eyes
traveled over the floor of the tub and the soft planes of Duo�s body, that
there was no blood, but he didn�t feel relieved. It would have been better if
he had had a physical injury to work with, something he could see and touch,
but it wasn�t his body that was hurt, it was his mind. He could take care of a
physical wound with his hands, but he would have to take care of Duo with his
words, something that he wasn�t at all used to doing. Duo was the eloquent one,
not him. It was ironic, Duo seemed more awkward than him when it came to
dealing with people, but he always knew what to say whether it came to spinning
a lie or soothing hurt feelings. Right now, he felt like he was back in the
hospital, dealing with something that was causing Duo the worst sort of pain and
stress, but also something that he couldn�t see or experience. Just like then,
he knew that trying to convince Duo that he wasn�t seeing the blood wasn�t
going to help. To Duo, the blood was very real, it was his reality and if Heero
wanted to help him, he knew he had to treat it like something real. Something
terrible had happened and now Duo was reliving a rape, he might as well have
just been raped. Heero realized with a tearing heart that, with how Duo was
acting and how young he sounded, he was probably reliving the first time he had
met Wes. How was he supposed to make that
better? It seemed impossible.

�� Where is the blood?� he asked. Duo looked meekly down at
his thighs.

�� Everywhere,� he whispered, �It�s always everywhere.�

�� Not leaving his spot by the tub, Heero grabbed a washcloth
and towel from the towel rack nearby. He laid the towel on the counter for
later use.

�� I�m going to help you wash it off, okay?� Heero asked for
permission, expecting Duo to protest him touching him again, but the boy looked
up at him with wide, tortured eyes, looking very much like the broken child he
had once been.

�� Please� help me�� he begged in
a tiny, gut wrenching voice, reaching out to the one person he trusted to make
things right again. Heero felt a tear escape his eye, but ignored it and
climbed into the tub, trying his hardest not to stand and scare the terrified
boy further. The scalding water made him wince and the feeling of his jeans and
sweater becoming soaked was unpleasant, but he ignored both. He turned the
water temperature down to a more bearable warmth and picked up the soap. He
refused to take his clothes off for this. The two of them being naked together
was too close to something else that he wanted very badly, something that was
very inappropriate to even think of
right now, still, as he kneeled down in front of Duo, he felt panicked with the
thought of washing his naked body.

�� Duo trembled as Heero stood close to him, but he wasn�t
scared, for once. Heero wasn�t bad. Heero wouldn�t make him dirty or hurt him.
He was the only person he could trust, the only one that loved him. He didn�t
want sex, he wouldn�t touch him� down there� when he told him no, when he
screamed it at the top of his lungs. Heero was safe, he was his sanctuary. He
wrapped his arms around Heero�s soaked chest and buried his face in his
sweater, sobbing.

�� Don�t let the bad man get me,� he pleaded in the
high-pitched, childish voice, �I�ll be good! I�ll do anything you want, just don�t let him get me.�

�� Heero didn�t hesitate to wrap his arms around Duo�s thin,
naked back, hearing the anguish in his immature voice. The shorter boy�s heart
was racing, pounding almost violently as Heero held him.

�� I promise, I won�t hurt you and I won�t let anyone else
hurt me, not now, not ever,� Heero
swore vehemently. He waited patiently, his wet bangs sticking to his forehead
and making water stream into his eyes, for Duo to calm down before releasing
him. He felt weird, his stomach prickly and hot, knowing that he had had a very
beautiful, very naked Duo in his arms.

�� Can you tell me what happened?� Heero asked. He knew,
roughly, what Wes had done to Duo all those years ago, but he thought that Duo
needed to tell him more than that now, when his memories were so glaringly
fresh. Duo�s shoulders shook as his hand clenched at Heero�s jeans. He felt
tiny and weak, vulnerable, but also protected as Heero put his larger hand over
his. It was a powerful conflicting feeling. Heero could hurt him, worse than
Wes had, but he was here to protect him. No one had ever protected him before.
No one had ever bothered with the intention of making him clean instead of
dirtying him more. He just wanted to feel safe. There was a huge difference
between his life on the streets and how Wes had raped him. He had been without
food, without shelter, but he had been so much safer than that moment when he
had taken Wes� hand In that one decision, he had given up everything, his
safety, his innocence� his life and even his future. Would his clock ever start
ticking again? In trying to describe what had just happened to him, faltered.
His memories in between then and now mixed with the freshness of the
ancient memory. It had just happened but it hadn�t� it made his brain feel
fractured.

�� He�s been hanging around for awhile,� the child stepped in
to answer for what the teenager couldn�t say, �He said his name�s Wes. He said
he�d take care of me, he said he had food, if I could just do one little job
for me, just a little one!� Duo almost screamed, fresh tears spilling down his
cheeks.

�� It�s not your fault,� Heero assured him, tucking a few
strands of Duo�s wet hair that had escaped the braid behind his ear.

�� But I was hungry�� Duo whimpered, �It was a bad thing, he
was a stranger, but I was so hungry! I just wanted a little bite, to make the
emptiness go away, somethin� that wasn�t rotten.�

�� Heero watched in shock as Duo�s mental state started to
dissolve and his speech patterns changed. Duo usually spoke so carefully,
cautiously to make sure he didn�t let anyone know he had had to teach himself
proper English, but now his speech was quick, just spilling forth and clipped
as though it actually pained him to speak.

�� I took his hand, I let him take me to his apartment. He
was so nice to me� The sandwich tasted good, the best ting I had eaten in
months and at first, I thought things were going to be ok, that for the first
time in my life, I had gotten lucky,� Duo bit his lip, chewing on it slightly,
a cute, childish habit, but Heero saw it for what it was. Duo was nervous, on the
verge of panicking, but he wouldn�t stop. Heero stroked the top of Duo�s hand
with his fingertips, ready to intervene if things got bad.

�� I blacked out and woke up in his be. He had stripped me
and hung my clothes in his closet. He hadn�t needed to tie me up. He drugged
me. I couldn�t move, not even to lift my head. I was so scared and I knew, I knew exactly what he was going
to do to me, but I couldn�t do anything!
It was so cold� it is so cold,� he murmured, �he left me alone there, �cause he
knew I couldn�t run. It wasn�t the first time he had� done that to someone, but
I was special. That�s what he always said, that I was special,� Duo�s immature
tone mingled with the one Heero was more familiar with for a few seconds, but
the child won out, �I just wanted to leave, even if it meant going back to the
streets, even if it meant being hungry again, even if it meant being cold
again, it was still warmer than now, than that room� I tried to move, tried to
run, but I couldn�t. He trapped me, so easily, just like a stupid animal. I
guess that�s all I am, a stupid animal.�

�� Heero opened his mouth to protest that assessment, but Duo
cut him off.

�� Then� he came in��

�� Heero froze. He had heard the other stuff before, though he
had still listened intently. Being hungry, going back to Wes� apartment, eating
the drugged sandwich, he knew all of these things, but whenever duo had gotten
to his part of the story, he would only say �he raped me.� Was he now going to
tell him the details of what had
happened? He watched in alarm as Duo�s eyes clouded over in pain and memory and
he realized he wouldn�t be able to reach him until he finished.

�� He told me that street kids were better because no one
cared what happens to them, no one would care if I died or disappeared or what
�cause I was trash. Plus, street kids know all �bout rape �n sex, so didn�t
have to explain what was happenin�. He told me I had twenty minutes before the
drugs wore off and in those minutes we were going to have fun. He said that, like it was a game, it would be fun. He said it
was gonna be harmless, but he was wrong. He said after the� fun� was over, he
was gonna show me how to do my job. He tol� me that if I tried to run away, he
would hunt me� like an animal� he would find me and hurt me. He wasn�t lying, I
knew that. He could hurt me so badly and there was nothing I could do. He said
if I didn�t stop fighting, he would kill me. I should have let him kill me,� he
murmured.

�� He got on the bed, he was still dressed, but I didn�t feel
safe. He never made me feel safe, not like you.�

�� Heero blushed.

�� He spread my legs and looked
at me, examined me. I�ve never
been so humiliated in my life. I just wanted him to stop looking at me. Then,
he touched me� down there� it was
just a finger and just a slight touch, but it made me want to scream. I
couldn�t stop the tears. I said �no�. I tried to move and he wouldn�t stop! He put one finger inside me. It
didn�t hurt, but I just felt so� violated, so� dirty. He did that just because
I knew how things worked, because there was no one who cared enough to try to
protect me. He thought that gave him the right. I know what happened to trash
like me, I had promised myself that I would never do it, no matter how hungry I
was, but I didn�t have a choice. I never had
a choice!� Duo sobbed, squeezing his eyes hut. Heero stroked his hair, trying
to drown out his own pain at what Duo was telling him.

�� He put another finger inside me, stretching me. But, I
knew that it didn�t matter. It was going to hurt no matter how careful he was
and he wasn�t going to be careful.
Men like him never are. They don�t give a shit about making things not hurt.
Why should they? They�re getting their rocks off, what difference does it make
to them? He said that it was nothing personal, that it was just because I was
cute and pretty and no one was going to come around looking for me, but how
could that not be personal? It was always personal with him, just him and me,
from the moment he first laid eyes on me. He couldn�t ever let me go, no matter
how much I begged him to. He unzipped his slacks� he was so big��

�� Heero squeezed his eyes shut. He wanted to tell Duo to
stop, to just stop. He didn�t want to hear this part, even if his friend needed
to tell it, but he let him speak, clutching at his hand. He never would have
imagined that hearing about someone else�s pain would hurt so much, but it did.

�� I knew that it was going to go inside of me, but I didn�t
want it. I was terrified, but there was nothing I could do. When he shoved
that� thing� inside of me, I screamed. It hurt� it hurts�� Duo shuddered violently, wrapping an arm around his
stomach.

�� My body was invaded and I felt this horrible� tearing
sensation. I had known that it would hurt, but it was worse than anything I had
ever felt. I thought that I was dying. I could feel the blood� so much blood��
he shuddered again, looking down into the water. Heero opened his eyes and saw
him looking there and knew that he was seeing the blood.

�� He felt so heavy on top of me, I felt like I couldn�t breathe.
I could feel him, every inch, even though the rest of me felt so numb. I just
kept screaming, I couldn�t think to do anything else. I felt like I was going
to throw up. There was this black hole inside of me and this white noise,
growing and growing. When he started to move, I thought that he was tearing me
apart. He told me that it was ok to scream, �cause, what difference would that
make? No one was going to care what happened to me.�

�� I care,� Heero thought bitterly, rage starting to build
intensely inside of him. He had never wanted to kill another person before.
Yes, he had had problems with his anger, but his anger now was very much
focused on one thing, one person, Wes.

�� I couldn�t do a thing,� Duo murmured weakly, shaking, �all
I could do was lie there and scream. He told me that it was natural to bleed my
first time, but there was just so much of it� I don�t know how long it went on
for, long enough to make me go mad, long enough for the drugs to wear off. I
found that I could move my arms, but not my legs, but I was still powerless
against him. He put his hands on my throat and strangled me,� Duo�s fingers
rubbed at his neck, feeling invisible bruises there. Heero�s eyes widened at
the admission. Wes had tried to kill him? His anger rose and rose. Duo could
have died� but he hadn�t� something had to have happened to make Wes change his
mind. Though, he didn�t think that Duo considered prostitution over death such
a great thing. At the same time that thought made him sad, he could understand it.
He hadn�t ever been raped, but seeing what it had done to his best friend, he
could understand how Duo would see death as the better deal.

�� At first I had thought that he was trying to kill me.
Everything went gray, I couldn�t breath, but he just kept fucking me. In fact,
he was getting of on it. He got more excited. I tried to get his hands off of
me, but he was too strong. Then, all of a sudden, he just� let go. I could
breathe again. I thought that he had changed his mind, but then, he was choking
me again. Even when I felt myself� going, I tried to fight, but it was so
useless� He liked it when I struggled and he kept doing it, squeezing the life
out of me, but never letting me die. Then� he climaxed inside of me. I wanted
to die, it was so� dirty, and embarrassing, feeling his semen inside of me.
It�s still there, I can feel it� deep inside. I blacked out and when I awoke,
he was gone. I don�t know what time it was, but everything still hurt. There
was semen and blood under my body and I could barely talk, my throat was so
sore. There was blood in my mouth, somehow, from the choking. But, I guess I
can speak now,� the child murmured, �I didn�t want to move, didn�t want to
think or do anything at all. The bed was still warm. He slept next to me. Why would
he do that? Why didn�t he just leave?� Duo buried his head in Heero�s clothed
shoulder.

�� My legs hurt, but I could finally move them. They still
ache, but I can run. Wes wasn�t in the apartment, I couldn�t hear him. I knew I
couldn�t escape. He would find me no matter where I went and he would hurt me.
I don�t want to feel the pain anymore,� the longhaired boy whimpered, �It hurt
so much� what more can he do to me? I couldn�t take lying on that bed any
longer, I couldn�t run, but I needed to get fresh air before I lost anymore of
myself. It hurt to move and it made me bleed more, but I got off the bed,
anyway. I probably ended up causing myself more damage by moving,� Duo
continued to look down into the water, into the blood that only he could see, �I
found my clothes in the closet, but I couldn�t handle the pants, it hurt too
much.�

�� Heero laid his head on the top of Duo�s as he spoke. It was
too much, the knowledge of what had happened to the boy he loved, knowing that
Duo was currently trapped in it, thinking that it was still happening, now,
despite the facts that what had happened then was different than the present.
Duo had obviously gotten rid of his jeans himself, yet he didn�t seem to recall
that, or the fact that he wasn�t seven years old anymore, or that he and Heero
hadn�t met until much later. Whatever had happened to his friend, it had
fractured his mind in half, two people in one body, one that was very aware of
what was going on in the present and the other that was trapped in the past, warring
between the two of them. Heero had to find a way to get Duo back without
causing him anymore stress and he wasn�t sure how to do that. All he could see
was Duo the child that had been abused and neglected a loving hand in a time of
his life that he needed love the most. All he wanted was to give him that love,
to take care of him.

�� I stained the shirt with blood, but I didn�t care. It
wasn�t like I was going anywhere, anyway,� Duo continued in a tortured voice,
unaware of the emotional turmoil his best friend was also going through. �How
can you stand it? The blood� the smell� how can you bare to be near me?�

�� Heero found himself smiling.

�� I told you, there�s noting for me to be bothered by. You
need me, that�s all that matters, that�s all that�s ever mattered to me.�

�� Duo struggled against his tears, Heero�s words starting to
break through his fractured mind to the whole part of him. Heero cared about
him, Heero would protect him. He didn�t care if he was dirty or nasty, he just
wanted to help him. He could feel the blue eyed boy�s heat through his wet
shirt and snuggled against it, feeling it start to dissolve the chill.

�� I didn�t know where to go or what to do, I just needed to leave. I walked outside, to the back
steps of the apartment. It was in an alley, next to a Chinese restaurant, but I
wasn�t hungry. For the first time in my life, I�m not hungry. I had no
intention of running at first. I was too scared, too beaten, to do anything
like that. I decided that I would show Wes that I could be a good boy, then
maybe he wouldn�t hurt me anymore. It hurt even more to sit down than to stand
up, but I was so, so tired, so I sat on the steps and I cried. I had always
thought I was stronger than that, but I was wrong. I was always weak. I could
feel the blood pooling underneath me, but I was too tired to care anymore. I
thought that I would never be warm again, I was scared and cold, but when I
heard� sounds� coming from the dark of the alley, I wasn�t really scared
anymore. I believe that I�ve met the worst monster out there, in broad
daylight, so I can never be truly afraid of the unknown anymore. I�m just
afraid of him� and myself, for letting it happen. But� it wasn�t a monster or a
man, it was a cat and her kittens.�

�� Heero watched in amazement as Duo turned his head to the
side and he saw that he was smiling a little bit.

�� I had thought that I would never be warm again, but� she
was different� she cared about me.
She was a cat, not even human, and she had showed me more affection than any
other human ever did,� Duo looked up
at him, �except for you.�

�� The longhaired boy shivered and his brow furrowed, looking
confused.

�� But� I�m here now� I ran� why did I run? I was supposed to
stay behind� now, he�ll follow me and he�ll hurt you, too!� Duo�s eyes were
wide and terrified as he looked into Heero�s eyes.

�� He�ll kill you� it�s all my
fault, I wanted to be safe, but I shouldn�t have run!�

�� Heero wrapped his arms around his friend as he started to
panic.

�� It�s not your fault!� he cried, �It�s never your fault! I
would rather be in danger and have you safe than be safe myself and know that
that bastard was hurting you! If I have to become dirty myself to help make you
�clean�, then I would happy to see things through your eyes!� Heero pressed his
cheek against Duo�s silky hair.

�� Clean� dirty� broken� I just want you to be happy,� he
murmured, feeling Duo�s shivers and shaking, �that man has no power over me and
he should have no power over you. Any affection you want, any love you need,
safety and warmth� I�ll give you anything you need because you�re my best
friend. You�re not dirty� not to me��

�� Duo�s shaking lessened as Heero released him and picked up
the soap, stroking his braid.

�� You�ll make things better?� the child asked meekly. Heero
nodded.

�� If you don�t want me to help you, just say so,� Heero
offered, �I can call my mom or Quatre or Trowa if one of them makes you feel
more comfortable.�

�� Duo shook his head and seemed to panic at the thought of
anyone else seeing him like that.

�� Please don�t leave me,� he whispered. Heero�s heart
clenched and he nodded.

�� I won�t leave you,� he promised, �come on let�s get you
cleaned up.�

�� Duo seemed to relax when Heero picked up the washcloth and
lathered it up with soap, but didn�t leave their intimate space where Duo was
close enough to lay his head on Heero�s chest, which he did. Heero blushed
again, but focused on controlling his breathing. His eyes traveled over Duo�s
slim, pale body. He had so many scars, some of them looking very terrible in
the light of the bathroom. He winced at the sight of several electrical and
thermal burns on his inner thighs and along his spine. He knew that Duo was
anxious to get the �blood� off of him, so, using the washcloth, he washed the
soft globes of Duo�s rear, swiping gently in between them, imagining the blood
for himself. Having the cloth in between his hand and Duo�s bare skin helped
his embarrassment. He focused on the task at hand, keeping his washing gentle
and more affectionate than clinical. It wasn�t the feel of Duo�s body through
the cloth as he washed his long legs and thighs that made his blush darken, it was the softening of Duo�s breathing and the
feeling of his body relaxing against his. He closed his eyes as he washed his
friend�s genitals, trying very hard not to notice their shape or remember his
own curiosity, just simply washing him. Duo made a small noise of contentment
as the soft wash cloth traveled over his stomach, chest, arms, shoulders, and
finally his back. Heero felt like his face was going to explode by the time
that he was done, but he found it very soothing, also, cleansing Duo�s body as
he laid against him. Heero scooted Duo closer to the water to wash off the
soap, turning off the water when he was thoroughly rinsed.

�� Feel better?� he asked. Duo looked down in between his
legs, but didn�t see the blood on his thighs anymore. It had felt good, Heero
washing him. It was almost like he could feel the pain swirling down the drain
along with the soap and dirt. He felt� good. Clean and warm and
good. Most of all, he felt cared for. He hugged
his best friend tightly, trying to show his gratitude as best he could.

�� Thank you,� he murmured. The child started to sink back
where it belonged, deep inside Duo�s mind, and he felt his exhaustion hit him
hard. He blinked up at Heero when he felt a soft towel being wrapped around his
naked body. Heero smiled down at him as he rubbed the towel against his skin to
dry him.

�� Can you stand?� he asked. Duo tested his leg muscles and
found that they didn�t ache anymore. He stood shakily to his feet, one hand
clasping the towel around him, his other arm in Heero�s grip to make sure that
he didn�t fall. Heero helped him out of the tub and walked him to the door.

�� Where are we going?� Duo questioned. He still felt shaky
and vulnerable, but he trusted Heero to lead him since he didn�t feel up to it
himself. Pain still thrummed inside of him, but it felt more bearable with
Heero in control. He suddenly caught Heero looking over at the tossed camcorder
as they walked and some of his memories of the last couple of hours surfaced
briefly, making him pale.

�� Don�t watch it,� he ordered, but didn�t stop moving
forward towards the door. Heero didn�t say anything, but looked away from the
camera. It was a promise that he didn�t want to make, because he didn�t think
it was one he could keep. He loved Duo and he respected him a lot, but he
needed to know what had happened to him and if there was anything on the tape
that could give him some sort of clue, he had to watch it. Duo had to
understand that. He was still shell shocked, so he wouldn�t do it now. Duo
still needed him more than his curiosity did. He shivered slightly in his
cooling, soaking clothes, but when he opened the door to the bedroom, he
blinked dumbly at the clean, folded pair of pajamas on the floor on the other
side of the door.

�� Mom,� he sighed. He had hoped not to get her involved with
this until Duo had his feet back under him, but when he quickly looked around
the room, he didn�t see any other indicator she had been there except for Duo�s
pajamas on the bed, which was unmade, just for them. At least she knew enough
to keep her distance, he thought. He would have to explain a lot later, but
right now he had to get Duo into bed and help ward off the nightmares he was
bound to have tonight.

�� Am I going to bed?� Duo asked in a small voice. Heero
nodded.

�� I think we both need a nap,� he said. Duo stared at him
with wide eyes.

�� You�re going to sleep with me?� he asked in an odd tone.

�� If you want me to,� Heero offered. Duo nodded.

�� I like it� last time,� he murmured meekly and they both
blushed this time. Heero closed the shades, Duo�s arm still in his hand, and
helped him to get dressed. The towel dropped to the floor and Heero had no
problem helping Duo into the shirt, but when it came to the pajama pants he had
to look at the wall over Duo�s shoulder in order to keep from combusting. Duo�s
remaining tension seemed to leave him when Heero finally got him into bed and
pulled the covers over him. Duo closed his eyes and snuggled into the covers.
His eyes shot open again when he felt Heero�s comfortable heat leave him and
the dip in the bed where Heero had been kneeling disappeared. He sat up quickly
and reached madly for the back of Heero�s shirt.

�� Don�t leave me!� he cried out in a panic.

�� It�s ok, Duo!� Heero assured him, at Duo�s side in less
than a second, �I�m not leaving. I need to turn on the night light and change
my clothes, ok?�

�� Duo hesitantly let go of Heero�s wet shirt, but Heero could
tell that he really hadn�t wanted to. He could see the panic and fear in his
violet eyes, so he worked quickly. He shucked out of his clothes in the
bathroom, but made sure that at least one arm or leg was in Duo�s sight at all
times, then flipped on the orb on top of the TV and flicked off the lights,
basking the room in a mutes, soft and soothing glow. Duo peered at him
anxiously over the covers, waiting impatiently for him to return to touching
distance. Heero smiled softly at him and slipped under the covers with him,
hugging him close.

�� I�m right here and nothing�s going to hurt you, ok? Just
rest, heal, there isn�t anything else you need to do right now,� Heero soothed.
Duo relaxed against his chest. The teenager part of him felt the child sink
back into him, feeling safe and warm in Heero�s arms. The shock of the two of
them merging again sent him into a deep, terrible sleep.

�� The first nightmare started barely an hour later, not
enough time for Heero to fall asleep, but it took him by shock when Duo�s body
jolted as if electrocuted. He didn�t know why it was so surprising. If he had
ever thought that there would be no nightmares tonight, he would have to be a
moron. At first, it was just thrashing, but then Duo started to cry.

�� No!� the longhaired boy cried out, his body rolling this
way and that, fighting off an invisible attacker. Heero panicked when the other
boy almost fell off the bed, so he grabbed him, rolled onto his back, and
rolled Duo onto his stomach, keeping him still as he lay on top of him. Duo
fought against him for a few minutes, but stilled quickly once Heero started to
stroke his hair. Duo sagged against him, his head tucked under Heero�s, as the
taller boy started to hum. It was an old Japanese lullaby his mother had sung
to him when he had had nightmares and it was mostly a subconscious action, but
it seemed to work. Duo made small moans and whimpers, but didn�t thrash around.
Heero realized that there was no way around it, it was
bound to be an impossibly long night. He sighed and relaxed against the
pillows. He already felt tired, stretched thin because of emotional turmoil and
anxiety, but he had to stay awake, he had to guard Duo�s sleep. That was more
important to him than sleep, any day.

�� Sometime in between 1 and 2 a.m., Heero realized that,
unlike in the hospital, if he didn�t have something to do while looking after
Duo, he was probably going to go insane. He didn�t know if it was the insomnia
or if it was his own burning curiosity, but he decided to make a go for the
camcorder. At first, he had thought that he could just make a run for the
bathroom and make it back before another nightmare started, but he didn�t want
to leave Duo alone, even for a second. Besides, when he tried to move, Duo�s
body tensed sharply and his whimpers grew louder. Heero tightened his grip on
his friend and did the only thing he could think of. He needed to see what was
on that tape. He could ignore it, but the story had to come out either way.
There was no way he or his mother, let alone Trowa and Quatre who had to know
that something was wrong by now, were going to let Duo get away with not
telling them what was wrong. At least, if he could see what had happened, he wouldn�t have to put his friend through
another tell all and after last night, he didn�t think that he would want to do
that again in the morning. He couldn�t leave Duo alone, so he picked his friend
up as gently as he could and walked to the bathroom. Duo made things easy,
wrapping his arms around him in his sleep, letting out a soft, satisfied grunt
before falling silent again. Heero couldn�t help but smirk at that, rubbing at
Duo�s thin back as he walked. Considering Duo�s weight, it wasn�t that hard and
he wasn�t squirming and thrashing as long as he was in Heero�s arms, which
Heero didn�t mind one bit. Now that Duo wasn�t speaking in that childish voice
or crying or begging him to help him, his libido was back full force, which
wasn�t helping having the warm body in his grasp, but was used to denying himself that dream. Actually bending down to grab the camera
turned out to be harder than picking Duo up and walking to the bathroom, but
Duo�s arms around him helped him to free one hand to pick up the camera, but by
the time he got back to the bed and got onto his back with Duo on his stomach
again, he felt a little bit like a contortionist. He wondered how Trowa was so�
bendy� when it made him feel like a piece of taffy. With a heavy sigh, he laid
back and opened the screen of the camera.

�� There was a tiny crack in the screen, but when he hit the
replay button, he found that it worked fine. He rewound the tape and pressed
play, turning the sound down so it wouldn�t wake Duo up, but enough that he
could hear. He still felt a little� raw� after hearing Duo�s story from earlier
and he wasn�t sure if he was ready for another shock, but his need to know
forced him to watch. The cameraman wasn�t very good at his job. The picture
dove and waved and Heero realized that he or she was walking. He heard young,
male voices talking and laughing in the background as the camera shook. He
frowned as the picture suddenly straightened and he saw Duo�s back, it was
obvious even though he was far away with the short stature and long braid going
down his back. He watched as the camera followed him down the block. What the
hell was going on? Suddenly, he saw Duo break out into a run on the small
screen and he finally saw the four boys as they ran after him like wolves and
the camera struggled to keep up. Heero watched in horror as they finally caught
up with his best friend and dragged him into the alley, pinning him down and kept
him from fighting back or screaming. When he saw one of the boys feeling Duo
up, his hands clenched and when he saw him actually touch his friend in places
that no one deserved to touch him, his hands tightened so severely that he
almost crushed the camera. He growled as he watched the boy slap Duo across the
face when he dared to struggle. In the background of his fury, the older boy�s
words echoed.

�� It�s nothing
personal, Maxwell, we�re not doing this just for
kicks. It�s not everyday you�re approached by a cute, little blonde girl with a
wad of cash. It�s going to be the easiest money I�ve ever made. �Rape him and
tape it�, she told us, something about showing your true colors, frankly, I
don�t care. The boys here are strapped for cash. Me? This is just plain fun. Don�t worry, I�ll be gentle.�

�� Watching the boy�s hand dive into Duo�s pants, front and
back, and Duo start to cry, he saw red. He felt like he was going mad, watching
the boy he loved being molested hours ago and being completely helpless to do
anything. He wasn�t used to that. He was used to actions instead of words, he
was used to always being capable to solve anything through violence or force,
not sitting around while there was a huge problem above his head, or rather,
sleeping on top of him. Relena� that bitch! He was going to kill her! This was
beyond stepping the line and pissing on it. No
one touched Duo, no one! No, first he was going to beat the shit out of
those boys, then he was going to kill that prissy cunt! He tightened his arms around Duo, but continued to
watch. He felt fear shake him when the light when out of Duo�s eyes as he was
almost raped and become listless, but it was replaced by rage when the boy kissed
Duo, then intense pride when Duo fought back and quickly beat the crap out of
his attackers. The tape ended and Heero put it on the floor under the bed, out
of sight. His first impulse was to throw it against the wall, but that wasn�t
acceptable. The noise would just wake Duo up and it wouldn�t really make him
feel any better. Besides, evidence of what those boys had done would come in
handy. He probably wouldn�t be able to use it to do anything legally to Relena,
but what he wanted to do to her right now had nothing
to do with the law. He looked down at Duo, still sleeping peacefully on his
stomach. He smiled at him. His love for him burned at such an
intensity it almost made him feel ill. He wanted to protect him, but he
realized that he couldn�t always do that, which made him hate himself. He
kissed the top of Duo�s head.

�� I love you,� he murmured.

�� At four a.m., Heero was still wide awake with Duo safely in
his arms. The other boy hadn�t stirred other than a few twitches and soft
murmurs for the last hour, for which Heero was glad. His mind was whirling with
thoughts and he wasn�t sure that he was up to trying to silence another
nightmare. They had been going on and off all night long, but it seemed that if
Heero was in physical contact with him, Duo would only cry and whimper and not
thrash around. If Duo awoke with a full mind again, he would refuse to miss
school, even if they had to wake up in less than two hours. Heero wasn�t sure
if he was going to let him talk him into it this time. The boy had had a severe
psychotic break and even if he woke up back in control of himself, it wasn�t
something that he was just going to get over. The break had been building up
for all these years and, for whatever reason, it had
taken a bunch of idiot boys from school to finally bring it to the surface.
Heero hoped that helping him through it, giving him a shoulder to cry on, would
help to mend the break, but he doubted it. More like he had helped to force it
down into Duo�s mind again. Not the healthiest thing, but Heero was lost. All
he could think to do was comfort him and try to get the Duo he was familiar
with back. He wasn�t a shrink, he had no knowledge of the human mind, all he could do was what his instincts told him to do;
protect Duo. However, he also loved Duo and had a hard time not giving him
whatever he wanted. He wasn�t sure if Duo said that he was going to school
today, he would be able to tell him no.

�� Why?� Duo�s soft voice broke through the silence of the
room. Startled, Heero looked down at him. His cheek was resting on his lower
chest and his eyes were half-lidded, still half-asleep, but his voice was
normal. Heero breathed in relief. His friend was back, not completely awake,
but he was still mostly there.

�� Why do I have to go through this now?� Duo murmured, his
voice muffled as he lingered in between sleep and wakefulness, �I�ve been raped
most of my life. It�s as normal to me as being hungry, it�s who I am, what I
am, it�s what I know.�

�� That�s not true!� Heero snapped. Duo blinked up at him,
starting to wake up a bit more.

�� You are so much more than what some perverts did to you!
You�re smart and kind, you�re not just a rape victim,
you don�t ever have to be that! It isn�t normal for you. Just because it�s
happened hundreds of times doesn�t mean that it�s
normal. You never got �used to it�, you always hated it. It just kept building
and building and building up inside of you until you finally relaxed. You
thought that worst was over and it should
have been over! Of course you snapped when it happed again!� Heero kept his
arms around his friend, never letting go even during his rant. Duo laid his
head back down.

�� I don�t like this,� he murmured, �I don�t want to be so
out of control.��

�� Heero stroked his hair.

�� It�s ok. What happened� you fought back, you were in
control, even if you don�t realize it. There was always a part of yourself that
knew what you needed to do. You fought back and ran back here, to be safe. You
may not have realized things through your memories, but there was a very
rational part of you that knew how to fight back and how to make yourself
safe.�

�� You made me safe,� Duo murmured, closing his eyes, �That�s
why� I knew where I needed to go��

�� Heero watched with a sad expression as Duo fell asleep
again.

�� Name slept fitfully that night. Her curiosity and worry
wouldn�t let her fall into a deep sleep. She didn�t like the fact that both Duo
and Heero had gone to bed without dinner, but she had left them alone. There
was obviously something seriously wrong going on with Duo and giving his past,
that didn�t sound good. She wanted to know what was going on with the boy she
had taken in, but she also cared about him a great deal and knew that she
should probably keep her distance and let Heero talk him through it. She had
done what she could, though, getting Duo�s room ready
for them while they had been in the bathroom. Knowing that
her son and his best friend were in there at the same time, made her even more
curious. All she could remember as she tried to sleep were the crazy
look in Duo�s eyes and his torn jeans. She had been in and out of sleep all
night along and had finally given up the ghost at five in the morning. Sometime
last night, she had made her decision and she called the school, leaving a
message on Khushrenada�s answering machine. She put a pot of coffee on in the
kitchen and drank enough of it to change her state from partially awake to
fully. She had spent most of last night dodging questions from Quatre and Trowa
and worrying about Duo and right now, she was not happy at all about the
situation. She could tell that Heero�s friends were also foaming at the mouth
to find out what was going on, but she had absolutely nothing to tell them and
their curiosity would have to wait. She read the paper until six, letting Heero
sleep in. She had no intention of waking up Duo at this hour, but she needed to
have a little chat with her son.

�� Name lightly knocked on the door to Duo�s room, feeling a
little bit too wide eyed and bushy tailed considering her restless night.

�� Come in,� she heard Heero say in a hushed voice through
the door. She came into the room to find Heero wide awake and approached the
bed. Her son had dark circles under her eyes and looked troubled. When she had
decided to take Duo in, she had known that it was going to create a lot of
problems, but she had hoped that Heero wouldn�t have to bear the brunt of them.
The television was on in the room, but Heero had put the volume on mute and the
closed captions on so he could watch it without waking Duo. It was clear to
Name that he hadn�t slept all night, simply watching over his friend�s sleep.
Duo was fast asleep, laying on his side on top of
Heero. Heero was sitting up, propped up by rearranged pillows and Duo had his
head resting on the taller boy�s stomach, his arms wrapped around Heero�s left
leg as he snuggled against him like Heero was a giant teddy bear. Name smiled
at the sight. It was cute and endearing, making her want to take a picture, but
at the same time, Duo�s desperate grip on her son was also heartbreaking.

�� Have you two been like this all night?� she asked with a
raised eyebrow. Heero gave her an annoyed look.

�� No, he had a nightmare and we ended up in this position. I
decided to take the opportunity to watch some TV, why?�

�� She just smirked at him and sat on the edge of the bed. She
took a long look at Duo and felt a little more relaxed. He seemed to be
sleeping peacefully and he looked better than Heero currently did. She brushed
Duo�s bangs out of his face and he squirmed, making a small noise before
relaxing again. She smiled softly at him.

�� I called the school,� she told Heero, �Neither of you are
going to school today, my mind�s made up about that.�

�� She expected Heero to protest, but he simply nodded. She
took that to mean he was either too tired or too worried about Duo to fight her
decision.

�� Do you want me to move him?� she asked. If Heero had been
watching over Duo like this all night, his legs were probably cramped and he
would need to stretch them.

�� No,� Heero told her, �he�ll just wake up or have another nightmare. If I�m not touching him, he
thinks that he�s alone and panics.�

�� Name nodded slightly. She knew that she should feel
uncomfortable with the two boys entangled like they were now but she didn�t.
Duo needed physical affection even more than most his age and Heero�s presence
did seem to help him through a lot of emotional trouble.

�� Did you find out what�s wrong?� she asked him and her
chest tightened in anticipation when he nodded.

�� Relena paid some boys, five of them, from out school to
rape Duo, tape it, and show it to me to make me believe he was� some sort of
slut, I guess.�

�� Name�s hands curled into fists. Relena� something about
that girl had always made her feel uneasy and now she was doing everything that
she could to destroy Heero. Oh, that wasn�t her intention, but that was exactly
what her so-called �good intentions� were doing. She had thought about waiting
until Relena stepped over the line of a woman scorned and into a more psychotic
territory, but the girl had just run right the hell over it. What she had tried
to do to Duo, who hadn�t done a damn thing to her, was beyond criminal, beyond
wrong. Only, Name didn�t really know what to do to make Relena stop. She was
beyond threats, the girl�s actions had proved that to her, and she refused to
use the company to destroy the life of a single girl, that would simply be an
abuse of her power. As much as she hated Relena, she just wanted her to stop.
Destroying people that pissed her off was beyond her. She liked to think that
she was better than tat, better than Relena and her dirty tactics, even if her
instincts wanted her to gut Relena like the worm she was. She also knew that,
as much as Relena had hurt him, Duo would never let her attack the girl for
what she had done to him. Duo frustrated her sometimes. He never tried to
defend himself, even when he could.

�� They found him last night when he was going to the grocery
store. They dragged him into an alley and tried to assault him. He had some
sort of� psychotic break� but he fought back and got away. He had a hard time
last night, but� he�s doing a little bit better now,� Heero said, looking down
at Duo. Name followed his gaze, feeling quite a bit proud of him for escaping
out of a bad situation without any outside help.

�� Hm,� she murmured and Heero
glared at her.

�� Is that all that you have to say?!� he snapped, �Aren�t
you at all surprised that Relena did this.�

�� Don�t be an ass,� Name snapped back, �Of course I�m
surprised, but I�m not surprised that he had a melt down! In fact, I�ve been
waiting for it!�

�� The two of them froze as Duo tensed at the sound of their
rising voices and whimpered.

�� Shit!� Heero swore as Duo suddenly started to thrash
again, fighting against him. Duo got out of his grip and rolled onto the bed,
crying and panting.

�� No, leave me alone!� Duo cried out.

�� Move over!� Name snapped at Heero who got onto his side
and moved towards the opposite edge of the bed. His mother slipped into bed
with them, Duo in the middle, and wrapped her arms around the violet eyed boy,
her long fingers stroking his hair..

�� Ssh, it�s ok, we�re here,
sweetie,� she soothed. Heero snuggled up to Duo�s back putting an arm around
Duo�s waist and nuzzled his still damp, long hair. After several long, torturous
minutes, Duo relaxed between them and seemed to settle into sleep again. Name
sighed deeply and met her son�s eyes over Duo�s head.

�� So, I bet you never thought that you would end up in bed
with me again, huh?� she teased. Heero snorted.

�� I�m going to sleep now,� he grumbled, closing his eyes.
Feeling Duo�s now familiar heat in his arms, sleep came easily.

�� Duo awoke in total confusion. Where was he? He winced as he
opened his eyes. He felt so strange� He didn�t have a headache, but his head
felt heavy and muddled. He couldn�t remember� He was lying down, but he
couldn�t remember why that was. He was obviously in his room, the soft glow of
the room told him that, but he couldn�t figure out why he was there as his mind
was screaming at him that there was something wrong about him being in bed
right now. He sat up and rubbed at his eyes. His whole body felt heavy and he
yawned. Suddenly, his eyes widened as his memories came back to him in a rush,
his sleepy fog lifting. He remembered� he didn�t want to remember, but now he
did. He remembered last night perfectly, the assault, the mental break, Heero
taking a shower with him� his face flamed and he grabbed at his head, groaning.
He felt like he was going to be sick, remembering the lack of control, the soothing
feel of Heero�s hands on his naked body, knowing that his best friend had had
to see him fall apart all over again. What the hell was wrong with him? Heero
had told him that he had done the right thing, that he
had had control, and he knew that the other boy didn�t pity him, but he felt so
embarrassed. His mind was sick, how the hell could he go to school if he had to
see them, those five boys, every single day? That was what was wrong, he
realized. His inner clock told him that he had been sleeping for a very long
time and by now, school had already started. He blushed deeply as he felt
movement on either side of him and realized that he wasn�t alone. He vaguely
remembered Heero sleeping with him, but he hadn�t realized that he was still
there.

�� Duo?� he heard Name ask from his right side, �Are you
alright, honey?�

�� He looked up at her as she sat up next to him, his face
feeling on fire. Her status as his best friend�s mother made him feel very
awkward. She had slept with him that one time and he felt comfortable with her,
but he felt like he was taking advantage of her kindness, too. It was more like
he felt uncomfortable only because he was supposed to be uncomfortable in this
situation.

�� Duo,� Heero sighed on his left side. Duo shook his head.

�� I�m sorry, I�m really sorry,� he murmured, �I promised you
I�d be stronger and I go and fall apart again, you must be sick of it!�

�� Heero sighed again, putting his hand over Duo�s as it lay
on his leg.

�� I don�t regret it and I�m not sick of it. I didn�t become
friends with you because I thought things would be simple and effortless
between us.�

�� Duo ran his fingers through his messy bangs.

�� What happened last night�� he almost choked on his words,
�t-thank you. I know it was embarrassing and stupid and you didn�t have to do
it� but� you�re the only one who would have thought of what the right thing to
do was.�

�� Heero smiled and bumped their heads together
affectionately.

�� It wasn�t all that embarrassing,
I just hope I didn�t overstep my bounds��

�� Duo shook his head.

�� I know I wasn�t really making much sense last night, but
you knew what to do, what I needed. I�m still sorry for falling apart like
that� I�m still not entirely sure what happened. I feel like my brain�s turned
to scrambled eggs,� he turned to Name, who was watching his and Heero�s
discussion with confusion and amusement.

�� We know what happened, Duo, you don�t need to explain,�
Heero told him. Duo�s blush severely darkened as he realized that Heero must
have watched the tape. He didn�t hate him for that. Heero had never promised
him that he wouldn�t watch it and he was actually glad that he had. He didn�t want to talk about it, but if Heero knew
the facts, he hoped that he wouldn�t have to. He just wanted to forget about
it. The story of his life, just hoping to forget. Relena
had gone after him personally and he
knew that she would never stop, so what was the point of thinking about it. Her
plan had failed. Heero had watched the tape and they were still best friends.
Hell, after what Heero had done for him last night, he felt even closer to him
and he hoped that Heero felt the same way. That was a sort of victory, wasn�t
it? Still, how close he had come to being raped again replayed over and over in
his mind and knowing that Heero had seen him being� felt up� was the worst sort
of humiliation. But Name and Heero didn�t hate him for it, so why did he feel
so haunted by it, so anxious?

�� You don�t have to worry about those boys, Duo,� Name
assured him, �I�m going to talk to their parents. Heero told me you did enough
damage to put at least one of them in the hospital and that you brought home a
tape of it. I�m sure that Treize won�t let them back when he finds out. He�ll
keep it discrete, or course, but if there�s something else you want me to do,
and what you want to happen to Relena, it�s all up to you, ok?� Name patted his
shoulder. Duo nodded.

�� I don�t want to cause their families any trouble. What
they did has nothing to do with their parents. But, if
they�re willing to rape me for money� I just don�t want to see them
everyday until they graduate. I wouldn�t be able to face them, knowing what
they tried to do. I can�t ever forgive Relena for what she id, but what she did
didn�t amount to anything. I don�t care what happens to her.�

�� How can you say that?� Heero demanded, but paused when Duo
looked at him with pained eyes.

�� I�ve seen what violence accomplishes and I don�t want
anything to do with it. Say you do threaten her. She�s not going to stop. You�d
have to either kill her, which no one here would ever do, or beat her, which I won�t let you do. Even
if you did, then what? Will you really be happy with that?� Duo asked.
Heero sighed.

�� I guess not. It�s not like I can have her arrested.
There�s no definite proof it was her. With her money and status, she�d never go
to jail anyway. But I still want to beat the shit out of her!� Heero growled.
Name rolled out of bed and stretched.

�� Enough talk of revenge. We�ll just have to be careful
around her from now on, that�s all,� she said. Duo suddenly remembered one of
the thoughts he had had last night when he had been being chased.

�� I�m sorry about not getting the milk and bread,� he
murmured. The other stuff they could live without, but the bread and milk were things
they definitely needed. Name ruffled his hair.

�� I told Trowa and Quatre to pick some up after school, so
don�t worry about it,� she assured him. Duo sat up straighter.

�� What about school?� he asked frantically, �What time is
it?�

�� You two aren�t going, Duo,� she informed him firmly,
�after what happened, you both need a day off. It�s already 10, so you might as
well accept that.�

�� Duo sighed. He hated missing school. He hated that feeling
of knowing he was supposed to be somewhere else and missing things, but Name
was right. He felt shaky, thin, unsure, and Heero looked exhausted. Guilt hit
him. He was sure that Heero had stayed awake all night because of him.

�� Name,� Duo said nervously, �un� is that, uh, cell phone offer still open? After what happened, I think I�d
like one.�

�� Name snorted.

�� Duo, after last night, hell will freeze offer before I let
you out of this house again without a phone! Now,� she smiled softly at him, �I
think someone needs a nice cup of hot chocolate.�

�� Duo brightened at the sound of that. It would make him feel better and he was
pretty thirsty.

�� I�ll bring you up some coffee, Heero,� she told him and
opened the door to leave.

�� Thanks, Mom,� Heero called back and sunk back into the
sheets.

�� Are you really ok?� he asked Duo when his mother had left.
Duo nodded.

�� I feel a bit shaky, but I�ll be ok,� he assured him. Heero
seemed to accept that.

�� Alright. What do you want to do
with our day off?�

�� Duo found the remote where Heero had hidden it in the
sheets and turned on an early morning cartoon show.

�� Personally, I just want to sit here with you and watch TV,
play some video games, maybe go out to lunch?� Duo thought out loud. Heero
smiled.

�� Fine with me,� Heero smirked, �but no reality TV.�

�� Duo snorted.

�� I second that,� he grumbled.

��

�� Name returned a few minutes later with three steaming cups,
one hot chocolate, one tea, and one coffee. She sat on the edge of the bed as
the three of them sipped on the hot liquid and watched cartoons.

�� What did you dream about last night?� Name suddenly asked
Duo. He paused in drinking the hot chocolate. It felt good in his stomach,
somehow giving him that safe feeling again.

�� My first job,� he murmured, �I think� because I fought
back this time and I wished that I had back then��

�� Heero and his mother looked at him solemnly and Heero
turned off the TV.

�� Want to talk about it?� he offered softly. Duo had a far
off look in his eye and Heero was worried that another break would occur, but
as disturbed as Duo was, thinking about his past and his nightmares, which were
really the same thing, he didn�t seem unstable.

�� Wes had been training me for months, training me to be a
whore. I kept telling myself that I wasn�t nervous, not anymore,� he said, �I
told myself that sex was sex, it didn�t matter. Wes had raped me too many times
for me to care, but that was a lie. Wes gave me the address I was supposed to
be at, the time I was supposed to go there, and told me to come
straight home when I was done. I couldn�t read very well back then, but I could
match up letters on the street signs. He never trusted me, but he trusted his
training. I could have run away, but I was too scared, too beaten
, and I just didn�t see the point in running back to my old life, so I
did what I was told.�

�� Name and Heero listened to Duo talk, not wanting to
interrupt him for any reason now that he had gotten started. Heero couldn�t
imagine that sort of blind hopelessness. Even when things were bad, even when
he thought that his destiny had been chosen for him, he had had at least some choices.

�� It was hard getting into some strange guy�s car and that
never got easier. My whole life, until I met Wes, I had learned to never trust
strangers, which was everyone. But, I realized that it didn�t matter. I would
have to deal with bad guys for as long as I would be a prostitute. Hell, I was
living with the worst of them. Wes looked normal, but, for some reason I had
expected some sort of scarred monster for my first customer, but he was very�
normal. He called me cute and asked if I was nervous. I told him no. I couldn�t
ever get over how happy all those men were when they were with me. I guess
that�s because I saw it as a punishment, but they all saw it as something
great, pleasurable. Some of them hated that I wasn�t a virgin anymore, but
others loved that I was experienced. My first was like that. He took me out in
the woods and we stayed in his car. I had no idea what he wanted and that
terrified me. He told me not to be scared and to get onto his lap, which I did.
He said that I was sweet. That embarrassed me more than anything else. Street
rats weren�t cute or pretty or sweet. He ordered me to give him a blowjob. I
did. It was hard, even after all those weeks and months of practice, giving
blow jobs were difficult for me because I was too small and I had to struggle
to deep throat anyone. I figured I would get better when I was older, but I
didn�t want to think about my future, it just made me depressed. He penetrated
me, but just with his fingers, so that wasn�t so bad. He came inside my mouth,
but I was used to that, even if it tasted bad,� Duo had no idea why he was
admitting these things to his best friend and his mother, but he found that it
felt kind of good and couldn�t stop, �He paid me and dropped me off from where
he had picked me up and left me there. It was the first time I had ever had
real money on me and I was hungry. I was supposed to go straight back to the
apartment, but instead I stopped to buy food. I shouldn�t have, I know that
now, but I figured it wasn�t a big deal. I was wrong. As soon as Wes found out
that I hadn�t handed over all of the money, he beat me.�

�� Duo finished his story and felt flat, almost washed out. He
hated talking about his past and, until meeting Heero, he had avoided doing so.
Solo and his other pro friends knew the vague details, but he had never told
anyone the truth like this. He wasn�t sure how he felt about it. It was
embarrassing, telling people that he truly cared about his dirty, dark past. It
also made him feel good, like lancing an infected wound. Yes, the process hurt,
bringing things to the surface he didn�t want to think about, let alone talk
about, but it was sort of a release, too. He found that Heero was holding his
hand, his beautiful blue eyes smoldering with sorrow and repressed fury. He
wondered what he was thinking. It was different than what had happened with
Wes. He had willingly gotten into that man�s car, had willingly given him a
blow job, and had even taken his money. He may not have wanted to, but he
hadn�t gone into the deal kicking and screaming, either. Did that make him a
participant in his own rape? He looked up at Heero, but when their eyes met,
there was no disgust in Heero�s expression, just sadness and a strange sort of
acceptance. When he smiled down at him, Duo felt the thing constricting his
heart crack and break away, finally allowing him to relax and breathe deeply.
He looked over at Name and saw that she had been silently crying in a dignified
way that only she could have managed. It made him feel oddly warm inside, knowing
that hearing about those bad things happening to him had made her so upset, she
had cried. He felt terrible about it at the same time that it made him happy to
know that she cared so much.

�� I�m sorry,� she aid simply, patting his hand, �there are a
lot of bad people in the world. I�m sorry you had to learn that so young.�

�� Duo shrugged. He really didn�t know how to respond to that.
Living on the streets had taught him that the world was not filled with good
Samaritans, but it wasn�t until meeting Wes that he had learned how nasty most
people were. He knew now that bad came
in different forms. The boys that had attacked him hadn�t been gay, he knew
that at least three of them had girlfriends, but one of them was known to nail
anything that moved and he wasn�t surprised that the other four had take up the
offer, given how bad the economy was right now and people�s greedy natures.
Nowadays, it didn�t take a lot to get people to do tings against their natures
for cash. He doubted that it had been cheap for Relena. He equally doubted that
she had had an easy time finding boys from their school to take that hit which
explained to him why the five of them had never spoken to each other before
then. If your friend didn�t know, it was easier to pretend that it had never
happened. Relena had probably had to ask quite a few people before finding any
self-respecting teenaged boy that would be willing to do another boy, though he
didn�t think that any of the boys that had turned her down were going to tell
on her, not for his sake, anyway. He
still couldn�t believe that he had fought back. He had always just taken it, accepted the humiliation and
abuse because he considered it normal. But, maybe the reason why he had fought
against it this time was because things were different now. He had a family,
people that respected him. He had left his old life and he never wanted to go
back there. Hell, he was willing to do just about anything to keep from going back there, even if
there was that lingering lust for the familiar. He liked where he was now. He
didn�t want to be weak anymore. He lay back amongst the pillows and turned on
the TV again. He would have a lot of explaining to do when Quatre and Trowa got
back from school, but right now, that didn�t matter he was home.

�� Quatre looked over at Duo nervously as the five of them sat
in the school�s cafeteria together for lunch. He and Trowa had spent all of
yesterday, worried about their longhaired friend after he and Heero had skipped
out on dinner the other night. Name had assured them that everything was fine,
but Quatre hadn�t been fooled. Name ad been just as worried, if not more. His
anxiety had gotten worse yesterday when Name had told them that Duo and Heero
were going to be missing school and to pick up groceries on their way back
because Duo hadn�t done it the previous night, which was just plain fishy to
him and his tall lover. When Duo was concerned, anything wrong, especially missing school,
was a big deal. Their classmates had come up with all kinds of tall tales to
try and explain why they weren�t at school, but Quatre, Trowa, and Wufei had
ignored them all. At least Wufei had believed them when he had been told they
were just as clueless as he was. Fortunately, when they had gotten back, duo
had seemed fine. He wasn�t hurt and looked well rested He had sat them both
down and told them as much as he had been comfortable with, that Relena had
sent some boys after him, to dirty him in Heero�s eyes, but Duo had gotten
away. However, he had had a small melt down, so he hadn�t gone to school, but
he was feeling much better now.

�� Quatre and Trowa had been understandably furious. Trowa had
wanted to track Relena down and put the fear of all of them into her, but Heero
had assured them that they had already gone down that road and Duo had decided
to ignore her. They had decided that they were just glad that Duo was ok and
left it at that. However, their resolve had been seriously tested this morning
when the four of them had gone to school. Duo had spotted it first, but hadn�t
said anything, hoping none of his friends would notice it, but Heero was alert
after what had happened. Relena and her limousine, sticking out like a sore
thumb, had been parked across the street. Relena had glared them down, but as
soon as she spotted Duo and Heero, only inches apart, she had gotten a sour
look on her face and had gotten back into the limo, driving off. Heero had
thought that it would have been quite easy for him to run over there and punch
her in the face, but Duo had gripped at his jacket and Heero hadn�t moved away
from him. Wufei had met the four of them at the lockers,
concerned for Duo�s health and the violet eyed boy had told him the same thing
he had told Quatre and Trowa.

�� Quatre, Trowa, and Wufei had spent the day watching their American
friend carefully for any indicator that he was struggling, but he really did
seem fine. They all knew that they weren�t being told the whole story, but they
didn�t press. Whatever they weren�t being told seemed deeply personal, so they
let it go. Right now, Duo was messing around with the black cell phone Name had
given him, trying to figure out, on his own, how it worked. Though he had asked
her for it, he didn�t like the phone or the
taser she had forced him to take; it scared him a little bit that she had
whipped that out like she had just
had it lying around. He didn�t like the cell phone because he had always hated
them. They were annoying, too complicated for their purpose, and people took
them too far, as though they had an excuse to act like rude assholes. All he
needed was something to call for help with, not a library of ring tones,
emoticons, texting, pictures, a camera, or games. He
didn�t like the taser because, though it was much more practical than the damn phone, he wasn�t a violent person.
After seeing people being killed on the streets and by Wes whenever a deal went
down or someone got too close to the truth, and being beaten severely by him
whenever he was in a foul mood or he had screwed up and needed to be punished,
it was hard to bring himself to hurt others. That usually
only happened when he was angry, but otherwise, it was very difficult to resort
to violence. He didn�t know if he could taser someone, even if he really needed to. Wes had hit his back
with a stun baton once and he knew how painful being shocked was. Still, he
couldn�t deny that if he had had one when those boys had attacked him, he
probably would have used it.

�� He studied the small weapon in one hand and the phone in
the other. He almost laughed bitterly at the thought of what he would have done
to Wes if he had had a taser that night, but he choked it down. He felt
disturbed having both of them, but he felt a little bit safer. He smiled to
himself. He realized that, even living with the Yuy�s,
once he was alone he wasn�t really safe. He had been taking a huge gamble,
sneaking out at night, but he wouldn�t let Relena steal that from him. He
didn�t care if he was scared, talking about his past with Heero had reminded
him of the mother cat that had helped him so long ago and he urged to see her
babies, even if he was terrified of going out alone again.

��

�� Name awoke with a start when he heard the front door
closing. At first, she couldn�t figure out what was going on. Slowly, the
sleepy fog lifted and the absence of the alarm told her all that she needed to
know.

�� Shit!� she swore, rubbing at her tired eyes. She had
thought for sure that she could sleep deeply tonight. Surely, she had thought,
surely even Duo would have the common sense not to leave the house after what
had happened to him. She sighed. She couldn�t do this anymore. She couldn�t lie
awake, hoping that Duo would come
home in one piece. After the other night, she wasn�t so optimistic. She had to
know why, what could be so important
that her young charge would risk his life? She rolled out of bed, stripped out
of her pajamas, and put on some warm clothes, walking downstairs quickly, but
quietly, so she wouldn�t wake up Heero, who was, thankfully, a heavier sleeper
than she was.

�� Despite Duo�s no less than five minute head start, Name
trailed him easily. The boy was actually being careful, she realized. He was
staying on the main street keeping to underneath the street lamps, away from
darkened alleys and both of his hands were stuffed into his jacket pockets, his
left hand curled over what she assumed to be the taser. She kept her distance
and made sure she didn�t make even the tiniest of noises. She was shocked when
Duo turned into the park. She couldn�t figure out why. There wasn�t anything in
the park but trees, bushes, and benches, but the way he walked in so boldly
spoke to her that this was where he had been going week after week. She
followed him in, taking the opportunity to use the bushes and threes to stalk
him more efficiently. She had to snort silently at her behavior. Before meeting
the perplexing longhaired boy, she never would have resorted to slinking around
in the dark, just to track a teenager. But, her son�s best friend was changing
a lot of things in her life. She wasn�t so insecure to be scared of change, but
she could see the power that the affecting, sad boy had over her and Heero.

�� Name watched in confusion as Duo sat underneath a tree and
took out a can of tuna from his jacket pocket. Was this what he had been doing?
Sneaking out for a midnight snack? She jumped when something leapt out of the
bushes and ran towards Duo, but she relaxed when she noticed that it was just a
small black cat. Her eyes widened as the animal ignored the tuna and climbed
into Duo�s arms.

�� What is going on?�

�� Shiva!� she heard Duo cry happily as he stroked the cat�s
slim back, snuggling with her. The cat rubbed against his chest and neck,
purring loudly. Duo smiled brightly at her and Name found herself smiling, too.
She had never seen Duo so� open before. He was acting like a playful little kid
and that warmed her heart. She felt a little guilty, too. She had never
discussed pets with him, it had never even entered her
mind. She watched in amusement as six other cats emerged from the bushes, one
by one, to snack on the tuna and curl up in Duo�s arms. Name had never owned a
pet before, but it was pretty damn cute watching the usually shy teenager
become bold around the animals and play with them. She sighed and walked out of
her hiding spot.

�� Duo.�

�� Duo�s head shot up at the sound of Name�s voice and his
eyes widened when he saw her walk towards him.

�� N-Name!� he stuttered, terrified. He had no idea what to
say to her. He had never thought that she would actually catch him out here. He wanted to run away, to protect his cats, something, but he logically knew that
Name wasn�t going to hurt him, so there was no real reason to run away.
Besides, he couldn�t stand up so sharply without hurting Patches who, now never
fat, was napping in his lap, confident that the human wouldn�t let any harm
come to her unborn kittens.

�� We�re going home,� she said, �it�s too late for any of us
to be out here.�

�� Duo looked down in shame. That was the rub of it, he
supposed. He had let her down again and he hated that feeling worse than
anything she could do to him. He shouldn�t have snuck out and worried her. The
other cats looked unsure about Name, not liking strangers, but not sensing a
threat from her, so they didn�t scatter.

�� Alright,� Duo murmured. Name sighed again at his sad tone.

�� Bring the cats with you.�

�� Duo paled. What did she want to do with them? He didn�t
think she would put them down. If she put them up for adoption, that would be
ok, though he would like to keep at least one. He was closest to Shiva, Sammy, and
Toby, and there was no way he could choose between them if Name gave him that
option, which he doubted. He saw Name eye Patches as he cradled her bloated
body in his arms as he stood.

�� Over feeding them, are we?� she quipped in amusement.

�� No,� Duo said in a soft voice, �she�s pregnant.�

�� Name was taken aback by the protective tone in his voice.
The other cats sensed that something big
was happening and they crowded at Duo�s feet. Sammy and Shiva climbed onto his
shoulders while Angel jumped onto the top of his head, making Name smirk.

�� Do you need help?� she offered. Duo looked down at Cassy
and Cotton.

�� Shiva, Sammy, and Toby won�t let anyone but me hold them,�
he told her, gesturing to the cats on his shoulder and the large, feral looking
cat that was starting at her with piercing eyes. She found that she was more
intimidated by the creature than any dog.

�� But Cotton and Cassy will probably let you hold them,� Duo
advised. Name twitched at the �probably�, but kneeled down anyway. She had
stared down hostile executives, but she had never had experience with animals
and she felt nervous trying to pick up the cats. To her surprise, the tiger
striped cat and the grey tabby seemed to understand what they were supposed to
do and jumped on her shoulders, startling her a
little.

�� What about him?� she asked, looking at Toby.

�� He�ll follow me on his own,� Duo told her, his voice
subdued. Name nodded.

�� Let�s go,� she commanded. As she walked towards the exit,
she looked back to see if Duo was following her and saw that the large cat was
indeed following the boy.

��

�� When the front door opened and Name and Duo came in, Heero
was waiting for them, angry and worried. He had been woken up when Name had
left the house, but all he had heard was the front door closing. He had thought
that someone was breaking into the house and had run to his mother and friend�s
rooms to see if they were ok, only to find them both missing. He had called
Duo�s cell phone, but it was turned off and his mother�s phone was in her purse,
which was still in her room. He didn�t have even the faintest idea why his mother and Duo were out and
about at this hour, but after searching the house, he realized that there
really wasn�t an intruder. He had thought about calling the police, but that
was stupid. He knew that he was jus overreacting, but he couldn�t help but
worry. So, he had stood by the door and waited, his heart
pounding unpleasantly at the possibility that either Duo or his mother could be
in danger.

�� By the time the door had finally opened, Heero felt like he
was getting an ulcer with all that he had gone through with Duo. He was furious
and ready to yell at whoever came through the door, but when he saw his usually
stern and prim mother with two bored looking cats on her shoulders, and Duo
with one on the top of his head, plus the two on his shoulders and a sleeping
one in his arms, he found that he couldn�t yell because he was laughing so
hard. Duo gave him an annoyed look. At first, Heero had been so angry and he
had been a little bit scared, but now that Heero was laughing, he didn�t feel
any better. Name looked like she was torn between amusement at Heero�s reaction
and equal annoyance at being laughed at.

�� Are you done?� she asked.

�� Why is there a cat on your head?� Heero finally managed to
ask. Duo looked up at Angel who, along with the other conscious cats, was
looking around at her new surroundings with great interest. She had never been
inside a house before and didn�t know what to make of it. They were all
curious, sniffing out the new, intriguing smells, but they were also nervous
and stayed close to Duo, the only familiar thing they had right now besides
each other. Cotton and Cassy jumped off of Name to sit at Duo�s feet, unsure of
what to do. Heero stared at Toby, who wasn�t quite so curious. He was also
sitting at Duo�s feet, but his piercing eyes were fixed on Heero. The tom had
had first hand experience with the cruelty of human males. He had been kicked
and picked up by the tail more times than any cat would take placidly. Plus, he
had witnessed Wes striking Duo a few times and was wary of any male besides
Duo. The human was bigger than him, but he had been around since Duo was a
child, so he still looked at him as a kitten. He had proved to be trustworthy
and in need of protection at times. He had never hurt any of the other cats,
even Toby. He played with them and fed them and his body language was friendly,
not aggressive, so Toby had learned to trust and care for him, but this new
human made him feel edgy. He was bigger and a complete stranger. Both he and
the older female seemed most interested in Patches and that fact made his fur
bristle.

�� Bring them into the kitchen,� Name ordered. Duo nodded and
walked after, Heero following them, but keeping an eye on Duo for any clue as
to what was going on. He looked nervous and scared,
which Heero hated, but mostly he wanted to know why Duo was leading around
seven cats like the pied piper. The felines didn�t seem sure about going deeper
into the house, but they stayed close to Duo for security. When they entered
the kitchen, Duo bent down and let Angel and Sammy down.

�� It�s ok,� he murmured as he stroked Angel and Cassy.
Sensing that there wasn�t any immediate danger, the cats explored the new room
with the nice smells. Patches finally woke up and got out of Duo�s arms, slowly
walking over to a corner that was warmest and curling up again. However, Shiva
and Toby refused to leave Duo�s side. Shiva took Patches� place and let the boy
pet her. He was displaying signs of anxiety, but touching her fur relaxed him.
Besides, he was always good at petting.

�� Heero and Name sat at the table and watched with wide eyes
as Toby jumped up on the table, his intense eyes glaring at them, almost daring them to make a hostile move. Duo
didn�t seem at all daunted by the large cat�s presence. He actually seemed to
relax.

�� What is going on?� Heero demanded. He had never really
been around cats before and had no idea how to act towards them.

�� Yes, what is going on?�

�� The three of them turned and saw Trowa standing in the
doorway with his arms crossed, giving them a slightly annoyed look. Quatre was
still half asleep, leaning against him. The blonde woke up fully, his face
brightening, when he saw the cats.

�� Kitties!� he squealed, kneeling down and cooing at Cassy.
The tiger-striped cat ran over to him, eager for attention and let him pet her.
Trowa rolled his eyes at this. He and Quatre were both animal lovers and had
talked about getting a cat or dog or bunny for years, but had never really made
a decision about it. Quatre picked Cassy up and he and Trowa sat down at the
table.

�� What�s her name?� Quatre asked as the blue-eyed cat fell
asleep on his lap, his pale fingers stroking the top of her head. Duo smiled
warmly at him.

�� Cassy,� he told him.

�� Can we get back on topic here?!� Heero snapped, �Why did
you and Mom leave the house at one in the bloody morning?!�

�� Duo looked away from him.

�� I can answer some of that,� Name interrupted, �for a few
weeks now, I kept hearing someone leaving the house some days in the early morning.�

�� Duo blushed darkly as he realized that she had always known
about his nightly excursions.

�� I knew it was Duo, I just couldn�t figure out why.�

�� Why didn�t you stop him?!� Heero
yelled, livid. Duo had deliberately put his safety on the line and that was
unforgivable, but if his mother had known about it, why hadn�t she told him to
stop?!

�� Name gave Heero a sharp look.

�� I didn�t stop him because I trust him and I didn�t want to
interfere in something that he might need to do. I only followed him tonight
because of what happened to him the other night,� she looked at Duo, not
noticing Heero�s embarrassed look, �I�m upset that you were sneaking around
after dark, but I�m willing to listen to your reason.�

�� Duo chewed on his lip. He knew that he was in big trouble,
but couldn�t help but feel a tiny bit good about it. At least Name cared about
him enough to want to know where he went at night and why. He just didn�t want
his cats to be punished for something that was solely hi fault. He didn�t want
to stop seeing them. The feel of Shiva�s fur on his fingers was soothing, but
it broke his heart at the same time because he knew that tonight was probably
the last time he was going to see her.

�� The night Wes raped me� I had a hard time coping with it,�
he said in a small voice.

�� Name almost snorted at that. He had been seven years old,
for Christ�s sake! Anyone would have had a hard time dealing with that, let
alone a child who, as worldly as he had thought he was, probably didn�t fully
understand what was happening.

�� Wes�s apartment is in an alley next to a Chinese
restaurant, so there were a lot of animals, especially near the dumpster, rats
and raccoons mostly. There was this black cat with kittens living there, too. I
made friends with her and fed her what little scraps I could afford. She
listened to me whenever I needed it and she was always there. She� helped me, a
lot. If I hadn�t had something� safe, back then, I think I might have tried to
kill myself.�

�� Heero paled, his hands clenched in his lap. The thought of
Duo, having only seven years in his entire life, actually contemplating ending
his existence, made him want to throw up.

�� All the shorthairs here are one of her litters. Toby came
around a year after that, probably because of all the food I kept leaving out I
found Sammy this year. He was only a few months old and someone had dropped him
in the dumpster, so I tried to take care of him.�

�� Sammy seemed to sense that they were talking about him and
the leopard-print kitten looked up at Duo with gold eyes, his striped tail
twitching in curiosity. Name raised an eyebrow at Duo.

�� So you�ve been keeping wild pets and have been running off
at night to play with them?� she asked. Duo nodded sheepishly. Name sighed and
pinched her nose.

�� It�s just the seven?�

�� Duo nodded.

�� What� what are you going to do to them?� he asked
nervously. Name gave him a stern look.

�� Duo, I�m disappointed that you were sneaking around and
keeping things from me. You didn�t outright lie to me, but you put yourself in
danger and I can�t let that go. You�re grounded for the weekend, so you can�t
go out with Heero or anyone. Understood�

�� Duo nodded. It seemed much fairer than he had thought would
happen.

�� As for your� friends,� she hesitated on the word in
amusement, �I�m going to tell you the same thing that I told Heero when he was
eight and wanted to know if he could have a puppy.�

�� Duo felt his spirits lift a little when he saw Heero blush.

�� Owning an animal is more than just a responsibility.
You�re the guardian for another living creature. You are responsible for
keeping them alive and happy. If you want these cats, it�s on your shoulders to take care of them. I
don�t mind having so many animals in the house, but you have to feed them, buy
them toys, and make sure they�re healthy. Otherwise, we�re going to have to
find someone else willing to take them.�

�� Duo and Quatre looked at Name with wide eyes.

�� Then� I can keep them?� Duo asked in shock. Name never
ceased to surprise him. He had been sure that she wouldn�t want even one pet, let alone seven, but her
response about responsibility had suited her perfectly. Shiva purred as he
stroked her ears lightly. Name sighed again.

�� Yes, you can keep them. Though,
how we�ll handle sharing the house with the little beasts, I�ll never know��

�� Duo would have jumped up and hugged her if Shiva hadn�t
been in his lap.

�� Thank you,� he said sincerely. He didn�t have to say
goodbye to any of them�

�� You�re welcome, Duo,� Name looked around at the small
horde of felines, �So who�s who?�

�� Trowa watched Name and Duo�s exchange in amusement. He
hadn�t been around this many animals since he had worked in the circus with his
sister, Catherine, and the only cats he had had to deal with there had been lions,
but he felt an affinity with the smaller cats, too.

�� This one�s Shiva,� Duo looked at the cat in his lap, �She
and Sammy are the youngest. Shiva, Cassy, Cotton, Angel, and Patches are the
offspring of the first cat I had met and they�re all American Shorthairs.
Shiva, Toby, and Sammy won�t let anyone touch them but me
and Shiva should probably be kept out of the kitchen. She�s smart and learns
how to� er� get food no matter what�s in her way. The
one that looks like a little leopard is Sammy. He�s rambunctious and will
destroy anything in sight. He�s a Bengal and
only he and Shiva like water and will let you give them baths. The grey tabby�s
Cotton, he�s shy and lazy. He usually only wakes up in he�s hungry or wants to
play. The white cat is Angel. She�s very affectionate. All you have to do is
pet her or give her food and you�ll be her best friend for life. The pregnant
Calico is Patches. She�s very gentle and quiet, especially now that she has no
energy to do much, but she loves warmth and gets kind of grumpy when it�s cold
out,� Duo looked at Cassy, smiling to himself as he noted how smitten Quatre
was with her.

�� Cassy can be kind of hyper at times, but she settles down
when you pet her. This big guy is Toby,� Duo scratched behind the tom cat�s
ear. He gave out a low purr, but his gaze didn�t move from Heero.

�� He�s a Javanese and he�s very protective, and loyal. When
I went looking for them after being in the hospital for so long, he was the
first one to find me.�

�� Is he dangerous?� Heero asked,
concerned about how the cat was sizing him up. Duo shrugged.

�� He�s just not very trusting,� he explained, �but once you
earn his trust, he�ll take to you pretty fast.�

�� Can Cassy sleep with us?� Quatre suddenly blurted out.
Trowa groaned.

�� The second she sleeps with us, she�s never going to
leave,� he warned his lover. Quatre seemed unconcerned about that as he
continued to stroke Cassy�s thin back, his smile growing as she purred, her eyes half lidded.

�� It�s fine with me,� Duo assured him, �but she�s probably
never slept in a bed before, so be careful.�

�� Quatre nodded excitedly. Name sighed. She couldn�t believe
that she was doing this. Not only was she taking in seven cats, but seven stray cats.
They needed toys, food, beds, collars, dishes, proof
of ownership, microchips, and vaccinations. She had told Duo that they were his
responsibility, but he probably didn�t know everything that he needed to do and
she wasn�t above helping out. After all, she considered Duo family, so, in an
odd way, the cats were family, too. Still, as much as she regretted her half
thought out decision, duo looked so relieved, so happy. He didn�t have many
good things from his childhood. The cats were probably the only good thing, she felt like she had to let Duo keep them. It
wasn�t a huge deal, she supposed. They were street cats and used to fending for
themselves. She almost laughed to herself as she realized she could describe
Duo in exactly the same way. If she could handle one abused, stressed, hormonal
teenager, surely she could handle seven stray cats, right?

�� Let�s figure out where these mangy things are going to
sleep,� Name took command again, �Tomorrow, I�m sure we can find some milk and
tuna for their breakfast, but as soon as school�s over, you two,� she looked at
Duo and Heero, �are taking all of them to the vet to have them registered and
checked out. You can ask the vet what they�re going to need so you can go to
the store and buy it. Trowa and Quatre will take Cassy tonight. Cotton and
Angle can sleep in the laundry room since it�s nice and warm in there. Duo will
take Shiva, Sammy, and Toby since they�re more comfortable with him. I�ll take
Patches.�

�� You�ll take
her?� Heero raised his eyebrow at his mother.

�� Yes, Heero, I will. My room is the warmest in the house and
we need to make her as comfortable as possible in this stage of her pregnancy.
Besides,� she said with a smirk, �we�re the only two in this house who know the
pains of pregnancy. I think I can help her more than you boys can,� she looked
at Heero, �isn�t that right, sweetie? After all I went through with you, I think I can take care of one pregnant cat.�

�� Heero groaned loudly, flushing bright red, and hid his face
in his hands.

�� Please, Mom, please,
do not tell
any pregnancy stories!� he begged.

�� I�m sure Duo would like to hear some about you and all the
trouble you gave me even before you were born,� Name said with a grin.

�� Mom!� Heero cried.

�� I�d like to hear some stories,� Duo said with a curious
expression. Name reached over the table to ruffle his hair.

�� Maybe some other night, honey,� she said with a wink.
Heero lifted his head and rolled his eyes.

��

�� Toby seemed confused when Duo led him into his bedroom and
sat on the bed. Duo didn�t know if Shiva understood or she was just following
him like she always did, but she jumped up on the bed curled up next to his
leg. Sammy packed around Toby, looking up at the large bed and started to make
loud cries when he realized he couldn�t copy Shiva�s move, but wanted to join
Duo on the bed.

�� Ssh,� Duo soothed, picking up
the young cat and putting him on one of the pillows. The second the Bengal felt the boy�s hand on him, he quieted, making a
small chirping noise when he was put on the small pillow. Toby continued to
look unsure about the bed. Duo realized he had never seen on e before and had
only ever slept with other cats. It made him smile, seeing the usually
aggressive tom so timid, met with the unfamiliar.

�� It�s alright,� he told the cat in a soft, comforting
voice, �you can sleep on the floor if that�s better, but the bed�s probably
warmer and more comfortable.�

�� Toby cocked his head at the soothing sound of Duo�s voice
and finally jumped onto the bed. Duo lay down, smiling as Toby and Shiva
snuggled against him, Sammy curling up on the pillow, near Duo�s head.

�� Heero sighed as he and Duo waited in the waiting room of
the vet hospital, impatiently waiting for the doctor to finish with the various
cats. The veterinarian�s was clean and official looking, but with the various
people, some of them children, holding hurt or dying animals, it was also quite
sad. Duo fidgeted in his seat. Heero put his hand over his friend�s, trying to
comfort him subtly. He looked so uncomfortable, so pained, seeing hurt and sick animals. Heero had never labeled Duo
as an animal lover, but seeing him handle the cats and react so negatively to
animals in pain made him realize more about his best friend.

�� Duo echoed his sigh. They had taken all seven cats to the
doctors and, while they were waiting, they had asked around for things they
might need as new cat owners. Heero�s car was now stuffed with cat toys and
food and tons of other things. Heero knew that this was going to be a huge
change for them, but Duo was happy, so it didn�t bother him. Besides, the cats
were kind of cute.

�� I have an interview with the owner of The Cottage,� Duo
suddenly blurted out. Heero stared at him in shock. He had almost forgotten
about Duo�s interest in getting a job.

�� I called him this morning. I have to meet with him
tomorrow at 8 p.m.,� Duo said. Heero gave his hand a small squeeze.

�� You�ll get the job,� he assured
him. Duo shrugged.

�� I� I don�t know what to say to him,� Duo admitted, �I�d
like to have the money so I can buy stuff for my cats and so I can see movies
and have dinner with you. I know Name can pay for all that stuff, but I�d like
it to be my own money. But, I don�t have any experience with part time jobs.
What should I say if he asks about my past?�

�� Tell him whatever you want to tell him,� Heero advised,
�Your life isn�t relying on this interview. Don�t stress yourself out because
of this, ok?�

�� Duo nodded.

�� Right now� I just want them to be healthy,� he whispered,
looking at the door the doctor had disappeared into hours ago, �I�m worried
about getting this job, but I�m more worried about them. I know they�re just
animals, but they�re my family.�

�� Heero pressed his shoulder against Duo�s.

�� I understand. You care about them. They helped you through
a lot of hard times. Just because they�re animals doesn�t mean you can�t love
them,� he said. Duo smiled at him. The two of them froze as the door finally
opened and Heero�s name was called.

�� The vet brought the two teenaged boys out back, a clipboard
in his hand. Duo�s back was stiff as he followed him. He wondered if all pet
owners felt this way.

�� All seven cats are in fairly good health,� the blonde vet
finally spoke, looking Duo in the eye and smiling when the boy finally released
the breath he had been holding.

�� Angel has a small heart worm problem, but it�s in the very
early stages, so the medicine I�m giving her should clear most of it up, but
you should give her more of it tomorrow and the next day.�

�� Duo nodded. It would be easy giving her medicine
considering the feline would literally eat anything.

�� Patches� pregnancy is going along fine It�s
harder to tell with cats than people, but we can estimate that the birth will
be within two to four weeks.�

�� Duo�s eyes widened at the news. So soon?
He had no idea how to take care of newborn kittens!

�� I�ve given all of them their shots and microchips, so
they�re ready to go home,� the doctor said cheerfully, �you can pick up the
heart worm medication and their papers at the front desk.�

�� Thank you!� Duo said profusely. Was it really this easy to
get what he wanted? Could he really keep all of his little family, happy and
whole, with no strings attached? He wasn�t used to living that way. He was used
to keeping secrets and always having something that he wanted, but could never
have. But, lately, one by one, all of those impossible things were becoming
reality.

�� Let�s get them into the car,� Heero spurred his friend
forward as the doctor left to get the cats. Duo nodded. It was a fight getting
all seven cats into their pet carriers, just like it had been putting them in
and taking them out in the first place, but Heero felt just as triumphant as
Duo did when they finally managed to walk out of the vet�s with all of them and
load them back into the car.

��

�� Heero wished, for what seemed like the millionth time, that
he could read Duo�s mind. The two of them were in his car, on their way to the
Cottage. His best friend looked uncomfortably stiff, but Heero didn�t blame
him. You could never tell by looking at him but Duo was having a few problems
being outside after dark since those boys had attacked him. What little
confidence he had had was shot and Heero was utterly amazed that Duo had left
the house so late that night to see his cats when now he looked so on edge. Of
course, there was also the daunting task of trying to find a job, something
that Heero was also unfamiliar with. He didn�t mind driving Duo around, but he
did mind how much stress the violet eyed boy was under. Duo kept telling
himself that it was no big deal, but Heero could see that he didn�t really believe
that. He didn�t know how to make him feel better besides being there, but duo
had insisted on going inside alone. Heero knew that the longhaired boy could be
stubborn when he wanted to be and arguing was just going to stress him out even
more, so he had agreed to stay in the car. Heero also didn�t know what his
mother had done to solve the issues of social security and birth records, but
it must have worked if Mr. Hastings, the owner of the Cottage, had agreed to do
an interview. There was a small, selfish part of himself
that was hoping that Duo wouldn�t get the job. He didn�t want Duo out of his
sight or for the job to take any time away from their weekend together, but
there was a bigger part of himself, the part that
truly loved Duo and wanted to see him healthy and happy, that was rooting for
him.

�� The cottage was a medium sized novelty, store located about
a five minute�s drive after the school. It had been modeled to look like a
convenience store sized cottage with a warm, homey feel so when Heero finally
arrived and parked in its private parking lot, Duo felt a little bit better. It
wasn�t a very intimidating place, but he was still very nervous. He felt like
he had on his other first job, not
knowing what to do, but wanting to succeed. He sighed deeply. He just wanted to
get this whole thing over with, but he didn�t want to leave the familiarity of
the car. He flinched sharply as Heero put a hand on top of his, so deep in his
thoughts that the feel of another human being had shocked him.

�� You�ll do fine,� Heero assured him. Duo chewed on his
bottom lip. He knew that Heero was right. All he had to do was go in there and ask the man for a job, how hard could that
be? He didn�t have to tell him anything that he didn�t want to and if he felt
uncomfortable at any time, he could just leave. If the owner tried to harm him
Heero was right outside and he had his cell phone and taser. Even if he didn�t
get the job, there were other places. He would just have to keep looking until
he found the right place. It sounded simple,
so why was it so difficult for him? He supposed that, deep down, he really
wanted this job. It sounded like something he could do, the perfect job. He was
surprised that man had been willing to interview him. Duo had begged Name not
to use her name to get the job for him, but if he ever found out that the Yuy
family was involved with him, whether Name had intimidated him or not, would he
really be able to not feel like he
had to give Duo the job? He took a deep breath. He could tell Heero to take him
home if he really didn�t want to do this, but he would probably hate himself
for it.

�� I�m going to do it,� Duo suddenly announced. Heero smiled
brightly at him and patted his shoulder.

�� I�ll see you in a little while, then,� he said. Duo nodded
and left the safety of the car.

�� The Cottage looked even cozier inside than it did outside.
It was definitely a knick-knack store and tourist attraction. Though the tow
didn�t have any beaches, it did have parks, five star restaurants, and the Zoo,
which brought in a lot of tourists, which kept the store busy. Most of the
store had cute little knick knacks, bumper stickers and such boasting the
town�s more popular attraction, and stupid little things like lawn gnomes and
glow pens, but there was also a section of the store that catered to people
that lived there like cheap food and paper goods. The store did a good
business, but it wasn�t cramped and Duo didn�t feel boxed in as he walked to
the customer service desk, amazed that the place was big enough to have three
checkout lines and customer as well. The place wasn�t quite as big as a grocery
store, but it was much bigger than the other small business shops around this
district. A bored looking brunette was manning the customer service desk and when
she saw him approach, she pushed her glasses up her nose, making Duo want to do
the same to his own glasses, and gave him a sweet, searching smile, but Duo
didn�t want to give her a chance to flirt.

�� I�m looking for Mr. Hastings,� he told her, �I have a job
interview at 8?� the words tumbled out in a nervous torrent. He wondered if
this was how this sort of thing was supposed to go.

�� Oh?� the girl, who looked old enough to be a college
student, asked with glee, �Are you looking to be one of the evening cashiers,
honey?� her voice was excited and she leaned on her elbows to give him a view
of her ample cleavage, but Duo didn�t rise to the bait.

�� No, stocking,� he said honestly. She frowned, pouting in
disappointment, but picked up the phone and dialed a number.

�� Mr. Hastings? I have a boy here who says that he has an
interview?� she said in a professional voice.

�� Ok, I�ll tell him that,� she said and hung up. Duo was
surprised when she looked at him with a friendly smile.

�� He says to just come right up to his office. There�s a
door in the very right, back corner. Go through it, take a left, and go up the
stairs. Go in the right door, that�s his office,� she informed him. Duo smiled
back at her.

�� Thanks!� he said and started to make his way to the back
of the store.

�� You�re welcome and good luck!� she called. As Duo walked
towards the back door, he didn�t notice the blue-eyed boy hiding in the aisles
of high shelves that was watching his every move.

�� Heero ran a hand nervously through his thick, brown hair.
He hated waiting. He had never matured out of the impatience he had had as a
child, that feeling of doing nothing and how every second felt like five
minutes. He knew that Duo was going to do fine, so he wasn�t worried about
that. He was a quick learner and a hard worker, any employer should be glad to
have someone like him for an employee. He was worried about Duo over stressing
himself, though. The boy had the tendency to over think
things and make them worse than they really were. It was so dark out,
but there were quite a few cars in the parking lot, a few of them had their
lights on and bored men were sitting in them, no doubt waiting for their
bargain hunter wives and girlfriends. Heero chuckled to himself. He was the
same way. Even as a kid, when his mother had gone shopping, he had insisted
that he stay in the car. He wondered about the old stereotype that all gay guys
liked to shop. Clearly, that was a myth because he hated shopping like he hated
going to the doctor�s. Personally, he liked shopping online where he could just
find what he specifically needed and buy it without even leaving the house.

�� Heero looked down at the car�s radio clock. Duo had only
been gone for a few minutes and he was already bored. He should have brought a
book or a newspaper. He turned on the radio and surfed thorugh
the stations until he found one that was playing an old rock song. He hated new
music. It was either rap, which he didn�t consider music since it was usually
just a guy talking about how hard his life was, or pop, which usually consisted
of some teenaged girl singing out of key about love or no one understanding
her. Heero yelped as he felt something jump on his shoulder and land on his
lap. Glowing eyes stared up at him, the black cat�s body almost invisible
except for the glow of the radio.

�� Shiva!� Heero snapped, �How the
hell did you get in here?!�

�� The cat just mewed and butted her head against his stomach.
Heero froze as he remembered Duo warning him that Shiva, Sammy, and Toby
wouldn�t let anyone but Duo touch them, but Shiva had
jumped onto him and didn�t seem to be
bothered by that presence. He lifted a shaky hand to pet her, his fingers
lightly stroking the fur on the top of her head. Shiva purred and seemed to
become boneless in his lap. He found that he was smiling. It was oddly�
therapeutic, petting the animal. He could see why Duo was so smitten with all
of them.

��

�� If I hadn�t had
something� safe, back then, I think I might have tried to kill myself.�

�� Duo�s words shot through his thoughts and he shivered.
He stroked Shiva�s pointed ears. Because of this little creature, because of
her mother and siblings, his best friend, the boy he loved, had found something in the cats that had given him
the strength to live on, to not take his own life. He had met Duo, Duo was in his life because of Shiva and the others.

�� Thank you,� he told the feline, �Thank you so much,� his
voice was thick with emotion, �You kept him alive. You gave him hope and so
much more. You saved his life��

�� Shiva�s ears swiveled in Heero�s direction, listening to
his deep voice. She licked his hand and rolled onto her back, placing her paw
on his wrist, accepting his presence as non-threatening and familiar.

�� You must be Duo Maxwell,� Mr. Hastings greeted as the longhaired
boy came into his office, shaking his hand. Duo had never had his hand shaken
by a strange adult and was floored for a second. It had been easy finding the
man�s office and it was a comfortable place. There was a large, double-sided
mirror on the wall that looked into the store and a large, circular table that
the store�s owner gestured for Duo to sit at. Duo had briefly talked to him on
the phone to set up the interview, and he remembered that the man�s voice had
been strong and steady, so he was shocked to see that Hastings was much older than he had thought. Hastings had a full head
of hair but it was a snowy white and his face was pale and wrinkled. However,
his blue eyes were startlingly clear and young looking. Duo quickly realized
that the man�s age was irrelevant to the way he acted. He was further surprised
when he sat next to him instead of at the other end of the table.

�� So, you want a job here?� Hastings asked, his blue eyes piercing. Duo
nodded, feeling strange and out of place in such a warm environment.

�� Ok. However, before we go any further, there is something
I have to tell you,� the older man warned the teenager, �I cannot be
intimidated.�

�� Duo looked at him with wide, startled eyes. Hastings was temporarily
taken aback by the violet color, but boldly continued.

�� I am well aware of your connections with the Yuy family,�
he said in a stern voice, �Everyone knows about that, but that doesn�t impress
me. If you think your connection with a powerful, rich family is going to make me give you a job, I suggest you go
home now. I�ll give you a job and let you keep it if you�re a good worker, but
I can�t be bought or bullied. Is that understood?�

�� Duo sighed.

�� I understand, but you�re wrong. Who I live with is
irrelevant. I specifically told Mrs. Yuy not to interfere. I want this job and
I�m going to get it on my own,� Duo admitted. Hastings folded his hands on the table.

�� I�m glad to hear that. It�s sickening how many teenagers
these days think that they can coast through life using their parents and
shortcuts. Now, I was told that you do not have paperwork. I am not influenced
by the Yuy name, but the corporate office, the people that deal with
regulations and paying my employees, is. They are willing to pay anyone
connected with the Yuy family, regardless of records and insurance. If I give
you this job, they�ll overlook all of that.�

�� What about you?� Duo asked, �I�ll probably never have to
deal with them, but I�ll have to deal with you every day. If you don�t want to
hire me because of my lack of papers, then please don�t. I don�t want the
people I�d work with to feel uncomfortable around me. I can�t work like that,
no one can.�

�� Hastings
smiled at Duo�s words.

�� I think you and I are going to get along just fine,
Maxwell.�

�� Duo blushed.

�� If I have a job opening,� Hastings said, �I�ll be willing to give it to
you. If you�re a good worker, you�ll keep it. Now, what were you looking for?
I�m afraid we have enough day cashiers, so you�re out of luck there.�

�� Duo dug his fingers into his pants nervously.

�� I� I have a problem� dealing with people. It�s the reason
why I want to get a job, but I really can�t deal with people on a large scale.
I want to try to get over it in stages, though. I have to, really,� Duo told
him in a small voice, �I tried to live in my own safe little bubble for a
little while, but what I want is to be normal.�

�� Heero had told him to tell Hastings whatever he wanted and Duo knew that
he had to be at least a little bit honest. He didn�t think that being pathetic
as going to get him a job, but he had to explain the problem so the man could
understand why he needed the job.

�� Hastings�
blue eyes softened in sympathy.

�� I was wondering if you could hire me for stocking on the
weekends. I�m in high school and I don�t want my grades to suffer, so weekends
are all I can do. I�ve never had a job before, but I pick things up quickly,�
Duo said. The white haired man nodded.

�� I only have two people doing stock during the day and
early evening and one of them will be glad to switch weekends for weekdays,� he
told Duo, who brightened excitedly. Hastings
rolled the chair he was sitting on over to one of the file cabinets and pulled
out a folder, handing it to Duo.

�� Fill those out as much as you can. I�m going to call
Bruce, he�s one of the stockers, and tell him he�s
going to have to change his schedule. We�ll work out your time schedule for
next weekend and we�ll see how you do. If I like your work, we�ll work out
something more permanent.�

�� Duo nodded. He couldn�t believe this was happening so
quickly! He felt his anxiety start to melt away as he filled out the forms. He
was getting a job and it had been easier than he had thought it would be. He
would miss having so much time with Heero, but this was something that he had
to do, he still believed that.

�� Zechs watched Duo�s every step as he disappeared into the
back of the store. The boy looked breathtakingly gorgeous with his clean,
shimmering braid, healthy skin and form, and his well-fitted jeans and black
sweater. He had been watching him and following him since he had come back to
school, though neither Duo nor Heero had noticed his presence. That fact both
pleased him and pissed him off. He was happy because it meant that he could
continue to watch Duo, undetected. It annoyed him because their ignorance of
his presence made him feel like he was unimportant. That was something he
couldn�t stand. It had pissed him off to no end when Duo had shown up at school
with Heero. He had always had conflicted feeling where Duo was concerned. He
loved him and wanted to own him, but he also wanted him to suffer. He had hoped
that by showing Heero Duo�s true self, Heero wouldn�t want to be involved with
Duo anymore, which would bring Zechs and Duo�s relationship back to the way it
had been before Yuy had stuck his nose into it. However, Duo had disappeared,
only to reappear at Heero�s side. Not only that, but they seemed to be even closer to each other! With Treize�s
threat still over his head, he was lost with what to do. He knew that his
little sister was in town and he knew what she wanted, but he didn�t care. He
didn�t care what happened to Yuy, as long as Duo was his.

�� Zechs waited impatiently for Duo to come back out. He
couldn�t talk to him during school because of Treize and his damn all-knowing
rule, but Treize wasn�t here to stop him from having a little chat with his old
friend. It was a pleasant surprise to see him in this stupid store. Zechs�
mother had sent him here for paper plates and napkins and he had spotted that
wonderful braid from the corner of his eye. He would wait for him forever if he
had to. He didn�t care about Relena and her obsession with Heero Fucking Yuy,
he didn�t care about Alex and whatever stupid reason had landed him in the
hospital. His parents had taught him to go after what he wanted, no matter what
tried to stop him, and that was exactly what he was going to do.

�� Zechs smirked to himself as the door opened and Duo came
out, too immersed in the papers in his hands to notice him following him.

�� Duo left Hastings
and the back office with copied forms in his hands saying that he was now an
official employee of the Cottage and all the rules he had to follow, even a
hotline that he could call if he was ever in trouble. He was going to start
work next Friday, 6 p.m. sharp. He couldn�t help but be excited. When was the
last time he had done something normal all on his own? He couldn�t remember.
Even if he only got ten bucks a week, it was more than he had ever earned in his life. Wes� handouts and
Zechs� blood money didn�t count to him. He had never felt then the way he did
now, it had always been a case of survival, not doing a job because he wanted
to.

�� Duo�s thoughts froze and were replaced with high-pitched
static as he felt strong hands grab the back of his sweater and drag him into
one of the aisles. He relaxed when he was released, but panicked again when he
recognized Zechs� icy blue eyes. It had been so long since he had been
literally face to face with the older boy that he was severely startled by his
sudden presence. His stomach tightened with a mix of fear, hate, and bitter
anger as he remembered what had happened the last time they had spoken to each
other. His hands curled into fists with the overwhelming urge to strike him,
but he believed that he was better than that. He had been bullied by Zechs for
too long for him to hold the thought of lowering himself to Zechs Merquise�s
level. Duo suddenly felt very tired. Why couldn�t his past mistakes just leave
him alone? He had thought that, after seeing that his twisted little plan
hadn�t worked, Zechs wouldn�t bother him anymore. Obviously, Zechs was even
more like his little sister than Duo had thought.. He
wasn�t ever going to leave him alone until he had exhausted himself to death.
Duo couldn�t help but feel dirty as Zechs stared at him. He had been naked with
the other boy, had had sex with him and, because of his own stupidity and
Zechs� cruelty, his relationship with Heero had almost been destroyed. But, it
turned out that his relationship with Heero, though shorter, was stronger than
Zechs� contempt for him. Duo felt a little bit of his tension ease as he
realized that Heero knew more about him his past and his feelings, than Zechs
ever had and ever would.

�� What do you want, Zechs?� Duo asked tiredly.

�� I just wanted to have a talk with you, away from those
annoying bodyguards,� Zechs said in an innocent tone that Duo didn�t trust. He
crossed his arms over his chest and gave Zechs an annoyed look.

�� Alright. You have five minutes,�
Duo made a show of looking at his watch, �So, talk.�

�� Zechs narrowed his eyes at the other boy. Five minutes� was
that all he was worth to the little shit?! Rage boiled inside of him. In the
past, he could have made Duo cower with just a look. He could have had him on
his hands and knees in the store�s bathroom with just a single word. He had had
power over him, true, untested power,
but now Duo was treating him like a mere irritation. It made him want to slap
the superior, annoyed look off of the pretty boy�s face.

�� Why did you come back to school?!�
Zechs demanded, �Why the hell did you come back with him at your side like a goddamned puppy?!�

�� Duo glared at him.

�� Heero�s with me because he�s my friend. Even when he found out the truth about me, even when he saw
me at my worst because of your little
schemes, he saw past all of that because he cared
about me! No matter what you do to me, that will never change. You can�t
hurt me anymore! I know what true pain is now, and it has nothing to do with
fists and hurtful words. True pain is thinking that the person you love most in
the world hates you!�

�� Maybe I should remind you of what I�m capable of, then,�
Zechs growled.

�� Capable of?� Duo chuckled, �You
were only able to hurt me because I let you.
You know what? You want to hear how
much power you have over me now? All that time I was away, I didn�t think of
you once, not even a single, tiny
thought. Hell, it was only my first day back when I saw you that I even
remembered that you existed!�

�� Shut up!� Zechs warned, �Shut up or-,�

�� Or what?� Duo challenged, anger
growing inside of his chest, �I don�t need you anymore, Zechs.�

�� Duo�s words delivered a painful blow to both Zechs� pride
and his heart, making his eyes widen in shock.

�� Maybe in the past I was too weak and scared to do anything
to stop you and maybe it was easier letting you rape me than speaking out
against it, but I�m stronger now. I�m maturing and I know that the only thing I
really ever needed was a friend. I have that now. I have true safety, not
something I had to degrade myself for,� tears prickled at Duo�s eyes and he
wiped them away hastily, �as far as I�m concerned, what happened in the past is
past. I don�t need you-,�

�� Zechs slapped Duo hard across the face, making him trip as
he was pushed back, and he fell on his butt on the floor. His glasses fell of
and cracked as they hit the floor. With a malicious sneer on his face, Zechs
crushed them underneath one of his boots.

�� Just who the hell do you think you are,
you stupid fag?! You should feel grateful that I even look at you! You think hanging around
Yuy makes you something all of a sudden?! You�re trash and you�ll always be trash!� Zechs snarled.

�� The second that Duo�s glasses fell, his vision became
horribly blurry and distorted. He dimly realized that his vision had gotten
worse, but with his new glasses, he had never noticed the difference. He felt
lost and naked without his vision. In a strange place like this, with no bright
colors to help guide him, he might as well have been blind. His only consolidation
was that, with Zechs� snowy white hair, he could just barely keep track of his
movements as he advanced on him. Tears slid down his cheeks, making his vision
even blurrier. His glasses� they were probably completely destroyed,
he had heard what Zechs had done to them. They had been the first gift anyone
had given to him and they had been a gift from Heero. Zechs had tried to take
away the one good thing in his life and now this. His anger exploded and he
lashed out almost blindly, kicking Zechs in the knee and knocking him against
the shelf. He heard glass falling and shattering around them, presumably the
snow globes and wine glasses that had been on the shelf since he could feel
liquid on the floor, too. Zechs cried out as he fell and sharp pain flooded his
leg and hands as, when he fell to the floor, he cut himself on the glass.

�� Duo heard someone running towards their direction from the
front of the store, probably one of the cashiers, but it didn�t matter. He
couldn�t do much to defend himself. Zechs could strangle him half to death
before anyone got him off of him. His anger at Zechs made his never feel like
they were on fire.

�� I hate you!� he screamed, unable to stop his tears, �Why
can�t you just roll over and die?! Because of you, Heero hated me! Because you
and your goddamn, stupid grudge
against me, I ran away from the best thing I had ever had! Because of you, I
had to spend two fucking week in THAT FUCKING ROOM!�

�� Duo, almost unconsciously, remembered the taser in his
pocket and his hand curled around it, more than ready to use it.

�� What the hell are you doing?!� the familiar voice of the
customer service girl he had met on the way in screeched.

�� Shit!� he heard Zechs swear. The white of his hair
suddenly disappeared. Duo heard heavy footsteps and the girl made a startled
noise. Duo realized that Zechs had pushed her away or shoved her. He suddenly
felt thin hands on his arm and tensed in his near-blind state.

�� Just get the fuck out of here and leave him alone!� he
heard the girl yell. Duo let go of the taser and hit the speed dial button on
his cell phone, instead, but didn�t pick it up. He hated being so weak, but
right now, he needed Heero. He couldn�t do this on his own. He heard the back
door open and another person joined the mess.

�� What the� get the hell out of my store!� he heard Mr.
Hastings snap at Zechs, �If I see you near this boy again, I�m calling the
cops!�

�� Duo realized that he probably looked pretty pathetic,
sitting on the floor surrounded by glass with a bruise on his cheek, he knew it
was there he could feel it throbbing, but Zechs� injury was hidden by his
pants. Duo wanted to snort at Zechs� stupidity, Wes had known that you never
hit someone in the face because it�s too obvious and makes you look like the
offender, no matter what really happened, but he was afraid that if he started
laughing, it might turn a little hysterical.

�� Whatever,� Zechs grumbled in bitter defeat. Duo felt
relieved that not even Merquise was so stupid as to attack him in front of
witnesses. He heard him walk off, but didn�t relax. He was still hopelessly
lost and he only trusted one person right now. He heard someone else walking
towards him from the front and panicked. He put his hands on the floor to stand
up. He really didn�t want to be on the floor anymore.

�� Duo, don�t touch the glass!� Heero�s voice was like a
beacon in the darkness and Duo wanted very badly to gravitate towards it, but
he did as he was told and stayed still. He heard glass crunch under Heero�s
shoes as he kneeled in front of him.

�� Who are you?� Hastings
asked defensively.

�� I�m his friend,� Heero said in a tight, worried voice,
�I�m supposed to drive him home after the interview.�

�� The girl, who still had her hand on his arm, was silent and
Duo could feel her shake. He realized that she probably knew exactly who Heero was.

�� Do you know the boy who attacked him?� Hastings pressed. Duo thought about how
quickly Heero had reached him and knew that Heero had seen Zechs on his way in.

�� He�s a boy from our school,� Heero explained.

�� Heero�� Duo finally found his voice, but he sounded
hoarse. He hoped that his new employer and employee hadn�t realized that he had
been crying. He was suddenly very glad that he couldn�t see and couldn�t tell
if he should be embarrassed or not.

�� I�m sorry,� he choked out, �the glasses broke,� he
mourned, feeling their loss sharply. He felt his stress release him when
Heero�s hand closed around his.

�� It�s alright,� Heero soothed, �I�ll get you another pair.
Are you ok?�

�� Duo blushed as he felt Heero�s other hand touch his cheek
where Zechs had hit him.

�� He didn�t hurt me. It�s just a slap,� Duo assured him, �I�
I�m lost,� he admitted shakily. He hated this, hated being so weak and
dependent.

�� That�s ok. That�s why I�m here,� Duo was amazed at how he
could hear the smile in his best friend�s voice and how it made him smile a
little, too.

�� Are you ok with this, Duo?� Hastings asked, obviously not trusting Heero.
Duo nodded.

�� He�s my best friend, I trust him more than anyone else,�
he said. Hastings
didn�t say anything more about it and he could see if he had nodded, so he just
ignored him. The girl relinquished his arm to Heero, who helped him to his
feet.

�� Do you want me to file a report?� Hastings asked.

�� No,� Duo said. Heero sighed in annoyance.

�� Why am I not surprised?� he
grumbled. Duo almost glared at him when he realized that he couldn�t discern
Heero�s face from the other jumbled colors and shapes that were confusing his
brain and he would look like an idiot if he missed his mark.

�� Can we go home, please?� he begged, feeling exhausted.
Heero sighed again and led him out of the store, surprisingly good at his appointed task as Duo made it back to the car
without bumping into anything. When the girl called good bye out to him, he
waved in a general direction. Heero opened the car door for him, but let him
find the seat on his own. Duo felt like a bumbling, crippled idiot having Heero
lead him around, but it was kind of nice, too. His face felt hot, feeling
Heero�s strong hand on him and was very, very glad
that Heero could write the blush off as mere embarrassment, but it was far from
that. Duo struggled with his seatbelt, but he was grateful that Heero let him
figure it out himself. He was used to the car enough to get it eventually.

�� Do you think you can ever go out without some huge
catastrophe happening?� Heero asked.

�Oh,
I don�t know,� Duo joked, feeling a bit more secure now that he was in a
familiar place, just him and Heero, �it wasn�t so bad. I got the job and kicked
Zechs in the knee with only getting a slap.�

�� Heero�s face lit up, though Duo couldn�t see it.

�� That�s great! On both accounts, I mean.�

�� Heero was overjoyed that Duo had both stood up for himself
and gotten the job he had wanted. He was pissed at Zechs, but that wasn�t
anything new. Watching Duo squint uselessly made his heart ache. It made him
feel weird that Duo was more worried about his broken glasses than getting
slapped. He remembered about how his heart had stopped three times in under two minutes. He had received Duo�s unanswered phone
call, knowing that something bad had happened and rushed into the store, only
to see Zechs Merquise storming out. Right away, he had assumed the worst,
imagining finding Duo bloody on the floor. He had found Duo on the floor, but only with a bruise. His heart had
stopped for third time when he had realized that Duo couldn�t see and was
seconds away from cutting himself. After all of that, he just wanted to get his
friend home and safe. Duo�s refusal to get Zechs in trouble again was frustrating, but he was
getting used to his dodgy behavior. He knew that Duo hated making waves, but he
also knew that something had to be done about Zechs and Relena, or something horrible was going to happen.

�� Duo�s laughter at Heero�s remark turned into a gasp as
something landed on his lap, but he settled back down when a furry head brushed
against his hand.

�� Shiva!� he cried joyfully as he felt her familiar ears and
stroked her long tail. Heero�s eyes widened.

�� Can you see her?�

�� Duo shook his head, smiling as Shiva batted at his fingers,
playing a game to keep his fingers from reaching her belly. Heero�s heart
melted into a warm puddle watching his friend acting so carefree with the cat,
given his position.

�� How do you know it�s her, then?� he asked, perplexed. All
of the shorthairs, with the exception of their colors, looked the same to him.
Duo shrugged.

�� I just do,� Duo said, unable to explain. It was an
instinct, he supposed. Heero rolled his eyes.

�� You are such a parent,� he grumbled, but smiled when Duo
laughed.

�� You just can�t get out of your own way, can you?� Name
asked Duo with a raised eyebrow after he had told her, Quatre, and Trowa what
had happened. Duo couldn�t help but laugh at the similarity between Heero and
Name�s comments at his bad luck.

�� But I got the job, so it�s not entirely bad,� Duo pointed
out, �It�s just the universe balancing itself out.�

�� Name sighed heavily. Quatre gave Duo a tight hug.

�� I�m so proud of you! You got a job and you gave Zechs a good one!�

�� Duo wasn�t startled by the embrace. In the mixtures of
brown, greens, and blacks of the kitchen, Quatre�s blond hair practically
glowed.

�� And I�m sure Heero will get you another pair of glasses
tomorrow,� Trowa added.

�� Actually,� Heero said, �I was thinking of setting up an
appointment with Dr. James. When we were in the hospital, he said he thought
that he knew what was wrong with his eyes, but he didn�t have the ability to
test him. Even if he can�t cure him,
we can get contacts. Those might be better.�

�� Contacts?� Duo asked, cocking his
head to the side, managing to look in Heero�s direction.

�� If it�s ok with you,� Heero offered.

�� I�d like to try it. I really loved those glasses,� Duo
said mournfully, �But I don�t want to go through this again. If I get contacts,
Zechs can�t break them like that.�

�� Zechs isn�t doing that again
because he�s not coming near you again,� Heero growled.

�� Name looked at her watch.��

�� I know it�s Friday night, but
maybe you kids should go to bed, especially you, Duo, it�s been a long day.
I�ll leave Dr. James a message to call me tomorrow.�

�� Ok,� Duo agreed. He felt too tired to stay up late and he
could get up early tomorrow.. He felt less on edge in
the security of the house and just wanted to take a nap. He felt Heero put a
hand on his arm.

�� To your room?� he asked. Duo nodded. Shiva followed the
two of them as Heero carefully led the longhaired boy up the stairs.

�� Sammy was already sleeping on Duo�s pillow and Toby was
anxiously waiting for Duo. The tom cat was having the hardest time adjusting to
his new life style. He was nearly attached to Duo�s hip when he was at home,
relying on him to remain safe and familiar. During the day, he prowled the
housel like an anal guard dog until he started to yowl to be let out, though he
had returned to the house as soon as it had gotten dark, much to Name�s relief.
She didn�t know what she would have done if he hadn�t come back.

�� Toby was immediately on alert when he noticed that Heero
was leading Duo. He jumped up onto the bed, ready to protect his newly named
owner if he had to, but Duo stroked his back, his tawny fur standing out on the
navy bed spread. Toby lied down next to him, watching Heero warily. Duo felt a
little bit better about his vision as he sat on the bed sine he never wore his
glasses when he slept. Heero left Duo for a few seconds to grab his pajamas and
pushed the into Duo�s hands.

�� Do you want me to stay with you?� he asked worriedly.

�� No,� Duo assured him, �I feel better now.�

�� Ok, good night, then.�

�� Good night,� Duo called, only taking off his sweater when
he heard the door close and Heero�s footsteps walking down the hallway.

�� Heero sighed and pinched his nose as he opened the door to
his room. He had only been half joking in his comment to Duo about his
inability to stay out of trouble. It wasn�t Duo�s fault. It wasn�t like he asked to be involved with assholes like
Wes and Zechs, they just sort of gravitated to him,
like mosquitoes to bright lights. He supposed that made him a moth, circling
uselessly around that same brilliant light.

�� Heero�s eyes widened when he saw that he wasn�t alone in
the room. Angel and Cotton had, somehow, gotten from their beds in the laundry
room, onto his.

�� How did you two get in here?!� he demanded, keeping his
voice low so he wouldn�t disturb Duo. Angel looked at him, unimpressed by the
authority in his voice. Cotton was fast asleep, oblivious to what was happening
around him.

�� Scat!� Heero glared, sure that the hostile look would send
Angel running. It didn�t. She only yawned toothily and curled back up on the
bed. Heero sighed again, rubbing at his tired eyes.

�� Fine!� he
conceded, surrendering to the will of the stubborn cats. It was rare that he
would give in to anyone, but even he knew when he was beaten. It was also very
hard to be angry at something so small, cute, and seemingly helpless, even when
he realized that the fluffy things could claw his eyes out if they wanted to.

��

�� 10:15 a.m. Saturday morning found Heero in Dr. James�
waiting room, waiting for Duo�s exam to be over. The optometrist had called his
mother back promptly at six in the morning and had been glad to schedule Duo an
exam at 9:35. Both Heero and Duo were immensely glad to hear that James had his
own office, outside of the hospital. When he had heard that, Duo had proclaimed
that that was a very good thing because there was no way in hell he was going
back to the hospital again. It had been a sweet reunion between Duo and one of
the few adults that had actively tried to help him. James seemed equally happy
to see them and eager to finally figure out what was wrong with Duo�s eyes.
Heero thought that James considered Duo his good deed for the year, the one
patient he had that truly needed his
services. He had explained to Heero that he mostly took care of elderly people
who would do anything to keep their
driver�s license and little nearsighted kids, but what had happened to Duo was
just plain tragic. Heero agreed with him on that.

�� Heero stood as the door opened and the nurse came out.

�� Mr. Yuy, Dr. James would like to speak to you.�

�� Heero nodded and followed her. He had an intense feeling of
d�j� vu in between now and when they
had taken the cats to the vet. From one stray to another, he thought in
amusement. The nurse brought him to James� office and left with a smile. James
and Duo were already seated, waiting for him. Duo turned and smiled excitedly
at him. He wasn�t wearing glasses, but Heero realized that he could see.

�� Contacts?� he asked. Duo nodded happily.

�� Dr. James sowed me how to put them in and clean them,� he
said, �they feel kind of weird, but I see just as well as with the glasses.�

�� You won�t have to deal with them for very long,� James
assured him from behind his desk. The short, kind optometrist hadn�t changed at
all since the last time they had seen him and Heero gladly shook his hand.

�� Then you know what�s wrong with him!�

�� James nodded.

�� Please sit down,� the doctor gestured to the empty chair
next to Duo. As Heero sat, he looked over at Duo. He smirked as she watched Duo
rub at his nose where the bridge of his glasses would have been. Duo had always
had mixed feelings about his glasses. He was grateful for the improvement in
his vision, but he had gotten sick of the teasing and how they had become just
as much of a crux as an aid. Now that he had his practically invisible
contacts, he was feeling much better. He had hated the tests though. One of
them was something that James had called a �soft tissue MRI�, plus an X-ray.
The doctor had told him that it would help them figure out if there was any
damage to his eyes, but Duo had been scared of being in the dark, all alone.
Fortunately, it had been quick, but he still felt a little shaky. He refused to
tell Heero that he hadn�t called for him because he was too embarrassed of his
childish fear. The contacts were more uncomfortable than the glasses had been
and he felt naked without something over his eyes and face, but James� comment
that he wouldn�t have to get used to them excited him.

�� So, what�s wrong with me?� he asked.

�� I gave Duo an MRI and an X-Ray,� James told Heero, then
looked at Duo, �when you told me in the hospital that your vision only started
to go back when you suffered trauma to your head, I became convinced that the
two things were related and the pictures I took of your skull confirmed it. The
force that that� man used on you caused several hair-line cracks in your
skull.�

�� Duo and Heero�s eyes widened in shock.

�� Don�t worry,� James assured them, �They�re non-threatening
and your skull didn�t shatter in any place. However, somehow, you have a
fragment of bone, smaller than the edge of a fingernail, really, lodged in the
soft tissue of your eye stem. It created a small cut in the tissue. On its own,
the fragment isn�t the problem, it�s the fluid building
up in the tissues because as long as the bone remains stuck there, the wound
can�t heal. The resulting pressure is distorting your vision. With enough time,
the fluid is going to completely block visual reception in your left eye.�

�� So� I�m not going to be able to see in that eye?� Duo
asked nervously. A bitter voice inside of him told him that it would just be
one more thing that Wes had taken from him, besides,
at least he would still have vision in his right eye.

�� The glasses have helped a little,� James said, �not as
much as if the wound had never happened, but they won�t be able to prevent the
blindness. You probably will lose it within two years. However, there is a procedure.�

�� What kind of procedure?� Heero asked suspiciously. Despite
how kind James was, Heero still had very little trust in doctors and
�procedures.�

�� It�s called an Iridotomy,� James
explained, �it�s a minor surgery. Basically, an
instrument the size and shape of a needle is inserted into the side of your
head, next to the eye. The bone fragment is removed and the fluid is drained.
The wound and resulting puncture are so small that they�ll heal on their own
and, hopefully, with no fluid in the tissues, your sight will start to improve
gradually.�

�� Duo�s hands tightened in his lap..
He had been so out of it in the hospital, he barely remembered anything about
those first couple of days and the surgeries he had gone through, but instead
of feeling relieved that he didn�t remember, the lack of information scared
him. What if something went wrong? But, the worst he could think was losing the
sight in his eye, which would be inevitable if he didn�t go through with the procedure.

�� It won�t hurt?� he asked nervously. He didn�t want to lose
his sight. More than his fear of surgery, his fear of such a handicap
overwhelmed him. James smiled reassuringly at him Heero took Duo�s hand in his,
seeing the fear in his best friend�s eyes. He was scared, too. He didn�t like
to think about those first couple of days in the hospital, terrified that Duo
would die, but this was different. They weren�t slicing him up and it was important. He didn�t want Duo to be
blind in one eye any more than Duo did. He tried to dredge up some hatred for
Wes at hurting Duo, but mostly he felt shocked that the man had did this. He
had almost shattered Duo�s skull�

�� I�ll give you a local anesthetic,� James said, �you won�t
feel a thing and the operation will only take ten minutes at the most. You�ll
have to wear a band aid over the puncture, but only until it stops bleeding.
The procedure is similar to getting blood drawn, but actually hurts less.�

�� Duo looked over at Heero for guidance. Heero patted his
hand.

�� Whatever you want to do, I�ll support it,� he said softly.
Duo chewed on his lip. He didn�t see any third option here. He could get the
operation and maybe his sight would get better, or he could refuse and it was a
definite that he would lose half of
his sight.

�� I�ll do it,� he said with conviction, �but� I want Heero
with me.�

�� Heero stared at him, startled, but Duo looked at him with
need in his eyes.

�� Please, Heero?� he begged and with that, Heero knew he
couldn�t say no. He didn�t want to say no. He nodded.

�� That�ll be fine,� James said, �How about next week,
Thursday, at five p.m.?�

�� Ok,� Duo agreed, �will I be able to go to work the next
day?�

�� Yes, that will be fine, but you shouldn�t drive right
after the operation,� the doctor advised. Duo nodded.

�� Thanks, Doctor,� Heero said and he and Duo shook James�
hand.

�� Duo was quiet as Heero drove through the town toward one of
Duo�s favorite restaurants for lunch; Heero had decided to treat Duo when they
had left the Doctor�s office, after the news about his vision, he certainly
deserved it. Heero looked over at him, not sure if his silence and stillness
was a bad sign or that it was good that he wasn�t fidgeting.

�� Are you sure about this?� Heero asked. Duo nodded, deep in
thought.

�� I don�t want to lose half of my sight,� he murmured,
staring out of the window, �I�m a little bit scared but I�d rather be
frightened than half blind. But� I feel a little bit
like that all the time,� he whispered, his voice choked with pain, �You�re
always leading me around and I just� I feel like I keep bullying you into this
stuff. You�re always there, even when I don�t ask you to be. You don�t have to
be there for me next week. I can manage on my own, I swear I can. I don�t want
to force you to do something that will make you uncomfortable.�

�� Heero sighed.

�� Dummy,� he said affectionately, �You don�t bully me into
anything. You couldn�t keep me away if you tried.�

�� Duo smiled sheepishly and rubbed at the back of his head,
imagining that he could feel the damage that James had showed him on the X-ray.
He still couldn�t believe it. The X-Rays had made his skull look like cracked
glass. It was hard to believe that his skull really looked like that.

�� I wonder if that�s why my head hurts so bad
when some spots are touched, because Wes cracked my skull?� he mused mostly to
himself. Heero�s fingers tightened on the steering wheel.

�� Just another reason why that bastard deserves to rot in
hell,� Heero snarled, �I mean, what the hell was he thinking?! He could have
shattered your skull! You could have died!��

�� Duo gave a half shrug.

�� He was always like that. He�d have these� plans and always
seemed to know everything, but when he was mad� he was absolutely terrifying,
but it was just in his nature, I guess.�

�� Heero�s anger rose at the sound of Duo�s apathetic tone.

�� Don�t you get mad over anything?!� he snapped, �The man
almost kills you, he shatters your skull, rapes you, strangles you, and
ruptures your spleen and all you can say is �it was just in his nature�?! You
won�t let anyone� seek out justice for you, don�t you think you deserve that?!�

�� There were some days that all I did was lie in bed,
hurting and feeling dirty and broken, just hating
everyone,� Duo said in a tired, flat voice, leaning against the cold glass
of the window, �I�ve always hated Wes, I�ve always hated myself, but now� it�s
just so hard to feel any of that anymore. It makes me feel too sick inside.�

�� Heero pulled into the parking lot of the restaurant and
turned off the engine.

�� You don�t have to hate all the time, but if someone�s
hurting you or has hurt you, it scares me when you don�t care and don�t want to
get people in trouble,� Heero said in a soft voice, �I know that we can�t call
the police about Zechs and Relena, not if you want to remain in hiding and
anonymous, but there has to be something we can do to make them stop!�

�� Duo snorted.

�� If you have any ideas, I�d love to hear them,� the
longhaired boy sighed, �Heero, with everything that�s happened, I just want to spend one
fucking day as a normal teenager. I don�t care about justice or revenge or
any of that stuff, I just want that one thing. Can�t we do that?�

�� Heero smiled sadly at him.

�� Let�s try that, right now,� he said, �starting with a nice
lunch.�

�� Duo smiled back at him and the two of them got out of the
silver car, walking into the restaurant together.

�� Relena couldn�t believe that this was happening. What could
be so difficult about getting rid of
one, teenage boy? She had thought for sure that the boys she had hired could
take care of things. She had been sure that Duo wouldn�t fight back. She had
been sure that Heero would see the tape and be disgusted. But, everything had
gone so wrong. She had been wrong,
Duo had fought back and Heero had stood by him. How could she possible conceive
something like that? Well, Heero probably hadn�t seen the tape,
that was all. But, she couldn�t get something out of her head. She had
gone to the school to see if her plan had worked, only to be shocked in finding
that absolutely nothing had changed. When Duo had started to walk into the
school with the others, he had looked back, right at her and had given her this terrible� defiant look. She had shuddered and
quickly left, not bearing to understand that expression, but she did now. That
look had said, �go ahead, do what you can, but know that I will fight you every
step of the way and I will never lost.�
Yes, she understood that look very well and she hated it. A week had passed
since then and Relena quickly realized that, all this time she had been
thinking too small. Yes, the end result would have to be Heero coming back to England with
her, but getting Heero to spurn his best friend was just so� childish. It
didn�t have to be Heero who got rid of Duo, but she was still sure that he was
the problem. But, that look had made things personal. That look had sent a
shiver down her spine. It had� scared her. At first she had scoffed at the
thought of her being afraid of the longhaired boy, but she realized that she was.
She had to think bigger, she had to do anything,
as long as the end result was the same, it didn�t matter, did it? All she knew
was that in order to form another plan, she needed help. She needed to talk to
the only person that knew Duo that she could
talk to, her brother.

�� So, here she was, back at the school looking for the one
person she had hoped to never speak to again. They had always been at odds with
each other, even as children. She had always been her parents� favorite and
they had had no problems letting her brother know this. Her brother had hated
her for it, but what had really fueled his fury was that she had been
untouchable. Zechs had blamed their father and his business and personal
mistakes for the divorce and Relena had blamed their mother for not being a
better wife and lover for their prestigious father. The worst blow had come
when the custody battles had broken out. Both of their parents had been
viciously fighting for custody of her, but with her father�s money and status,
he had won and had forced their mother to take Zechs and leave England. She
knew that Zechs hated her for all of
this, but she didn�t care. There really wasn�t anything that her brother could
do about it.

�� With his habits of skipping classes to go smoke, Zechs was
easy to find. Relena couldn�t remember when her brother had started smoking, it
was just one those things that seemed to always be there. He hadn�t changed at
all, she mused. HE was still much taller than her, his hair still long, and his
eyes were still as hard and cold as always. He was leaning against the back
door of the school, a lit cigarette in his left hand. He looked at her with
disdain.

�� Relena,� he said in a stiff, cold voice. Relena smiled
sweetly at him, but even a child could see how fake it was.

�� Hello, Zechs. It�s been awhile, hasn�t it?� she greeted, �I
hate meeting under these conditions, but there�s something I need to ask you,�
she jumped right into it but Zechs put up his hand, cutting her off.

�� Save your breath, sister dear I know exactly what you want,� he jeered. Relena narrowed her eyes at him.
She didn�t know what she hated more, being interrupted or being transparent.

�� And what is it that you think I want?� she asked, her cold
voice rivaling his.

�� To have your beloved
handsome prince back at the �royal palace� and in your arms again, of
course,� Zechs mocked. Relena curled her hands into fists, wanting to wipe that
look off of her brother�s face, but was to afford of his physical superiority
to try to hit him.

�� Actually, what I want is to know what you know about Duo Maxwell� she said, trying to stay diplomatic, �Alex
told me all about your� relationship with him.�

�� To her annoyance, Zechs didn�t look shocked or angry at
this, just slightly bored.

�� Sorry, Sis, but what I know, I�m keeping to myself. It�s my knowledge, after all, something you�ll
never be privy to,� Zechs grinned as
fury filled his little sister�s face and she looked like she was ready to
scream. Playing with her was a bit boring, though, it was too easy to ruffle
her feathers, unlike a certain violet-eyed boy who was getting progressively more
aggressive and independent. He wasn�t sure if he liked that but it did make
things more interesting.

�� Are you so arrogant that you won�t help your own sister be
happy?!� she screeched. Zechs pretend to think about it for a minute.

�� Why yes, yes I am.�

�� Zechs almost laughed as Relena actually growled at him.

�� However I will give you this piece of advice: you�re on
the right track. Heero will never want to be with you with Duo around, they�re
too closely knit. You�d have to take the violet eyed brat out of the picture
entirely or Heero will always be� distracted.�

�� Relena snorted. If her brother was suggesting that her
Heero and that� thing were� involved,
he was way off. Heero was just confused right now, she
just needed to remind him that they were meant to be together.

�� I can help you if you want� Zechs suggested. Relena glared
at him and flicked her long hair over her shoulder.

�� Don�t flatter yourself, brother,� she snapped, �I don�t need your help.�

�� Relena spun on her heel and stormed back to the limo,
furious and frustrated, but knew that trying to reason with her brother was
pointless.

�� Zechs watched his sister go with a smirk. He crushed his
cigarette under his boot and went back inside the school, shoving his hands in
his pockets. Relena was still the spoiled little girl she had always been,
unwilling to ask for help, but always demanding answers. Well, he was
different. If Relena didn�t want his help, that was fine, but like it or not,
whether she knew it or not, she was
going to help him get Duo exactly where
he wanted him. Well, he wouldn�t help her too
much, even if they both needed each other�s help. No, he wouldn�t help her
too much, it was much too fun watching her struggle in
frustration and pain.

End Chapter 6
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The Road to Kindness