Change of Hearts

A/N: I’d like to give a big thank you to Zofo, you’ve reviewed almost every time you read and I truly appreciate the feedback from you and all others who review, so I thank you all.…Also, I found out the correct spelling of Goku’s Saiyan name is ‘Kakarrot’ and not Kakkarot, so I’ll be spelling it the correct way from now on. Warnings for this chapter are Angst, Lime (Sexual References) and Language and if you have forgotten (*) indicates a change of point of view… Enjoy

Carnal desire… is what I call it.

To delve deep into his body, and hear him yell out my name in pain or groan from the intensity of my penetration. To see the sweat pouring from his breathtakingly structured body, to feel his strong hands clawing away at the scarred skin on my back, to feel his pulsating cum shoot up in my mouth, this must be the definition of sexual gratification.

As we lay here against the sands of a deserted island, completely drained of energy and unable to move, I contemplated what exactly it is that I feel for Kakarrot.

And I came to the conclusion that it is carnal desire…

But am I lying to myself? Is there something more that I feel for this innocent, pure hearted, alluring creature, which lies beneath me? This fascinating specimen of a Saiyan male that has done nothing but show me compassion and sympathy, even though I was undeserving of it.

I wonder to myself for the first time, could I love again? And if so, could I love Kakarrot?

His strong, warm hands run through the silky strands of my hair and he brings my face down to kiss him. The warm throbbing muscle that is his tongue comes out to greet my lips, tracing them slow. Then his lips come together around my bottom one sucking it slow, I relish in the feel of his mouth, sliding my tongue inside it. We make out for a few moments that feel as if they are eternity, and then he breaks our kiss, leaving me breathless.

“Vegeta.” He says in a deep lustful tone, a bright glow in his eyes, from the reflection of the moon.

“Yes,” I gruffly reply.

“I wish we could’ve did this sooner…I mean…uh, you know…lived together and had sex and found uninhabited islands to fuck on and…”

My laughter cuts off his statement, “Kakarrot really, learn to think before you speak.”

He smiles and continues, “I just wish we could’ve had a relationship earlier in our lives.”

Relationship…is what we have really a relationship?

I decided not to think too hard on that for fear it may change my mood. “I understand what you mean.” I simply reply to him.

Kakarrot sits up and I roll over on to my back, he stretches and yawns, then says, “This sure is a beautiful place.” I nod in response.

He lies back against the sand, and we look out into the ocean, and the beautiful full moon that rules over the night. For a quick second, I think about my tail, remembering how great it felt to be in the Oozaru state and also the many other advantages that came with the furry appendage.

“I used to spend hours looking at the moon.” Kakarrot says gazing up at the majestic creation and then he turns to me.

“We are connected to it.” I say returning his gaze.

“Hmm…You know, I really wish I could remember how it was to be Oozaru…”

I sigh heavily, “No you don’t Kakarrot…you are simply too good to enjoy such dark power.”

An emotion that I have never seen before pools into Kakarrot’s eyes, it looks completely unnatural on his usually smiling, innocent face.

It is rage…

“ EVERYONE ALWAYS SEES ME AS THIS NICE ASS, PURE HEARTED, ALWAYS SMILING FOOL, AND I HAD HOPED THAT MAYBE OVER THESE LAST MONTHS, YOU COULD’VE SEEN ME AS SOMETHING DIFFERENT, BUT I GUESS NOT, ILL ALWAYS JUST BE A GUILTLESS CLOWN!!”

His face is red with anger, two veins are pulsing at his neck, and his hands are balled into fists.

For the first time in years, I find that I am completely speechless. It is true, I only see him as good, but is he trying to tell me there is something more to him. My eyes must reflect my confusion because he calms down and looks away from me.

“I’ve often wondered Vegeta…What it would be like to kill someone, just out of pleasure. I’ve thought about hurting people, who annoyed me. I thought about…becoming evil.” He says, moonlight reflecting in his eyes.

“And what is your definition of evil?” I say, my voice darkening.

He turns to me now, the choler in my voice catching his attention, pulling him out of his idiotic thoughts.

“Evil… Kakarrot, is not simply smacking around someone who angers you, or killing someone just because you feel like it…” I stand, glaring down at him, “Evil, is complete darkness that exists in the soul of a being who does not know, or understand what being good is. Evil, is the ability to destroy life, without any remorse, to have people tremble at the mention of your name. Evil, is everything that you are not, and could never be.”

I look away from him then as memories of my past beginning to haunt me.

A few moments later, I feel his strong arms wrap around me, and the anger that was building inside of me, dissipates at his gentle touch.

“I’m sorry.” He breathes into my neck; this small action sends cool sensations running down my body.

My lips form into a smirk, “Your desires are only natural, due to your Saiyan nature.” I say linking my fingers with his. Kakarrot holds me tighter against him, his warm body heating my cool flesh. He whispers into my ear…

“I only think those things when I’m with you.”

I smile now, so I’m responsible for awakening his Saiyan nature.

“You’re responsible for awakening a lot of things.” He thrusts his length against the hard muscles of my ass.

I grind back against him and I hear him inhale deeply, “Stop reading my mind.” I say sternly, he laughs and falls back against the sand, bringing me down on top of him.

In his arms, I feel safe…

In his arms, I feel loved…

It’s scaring me because it will make saying goodbye, so much harder.

*

What is the true definition of love?

It is the one and only word that can describe what I feel for Vegeta…

Um, I know it may sound a little loony, seeing how we’ve only been…uh… wait what’s the word to call it?

Fucking? No, too little emotion.

Making love? Way too mushy.

Mating?

That suits us more, ok let me backtrack…

We’ve only been mating for about 8 months now, but we spend every day together, sexing, talking, and having fun. Plus, Vegeta has allowed me to see all of him, his playful side, his angry side, and I love it all, every insane, sensual, dark, funny, thick, long, angry inch of him.

I think I may even be in love with him…

Tomorrow is Bulla’s wedding, and this has made me pretty uneasy. Vegeta may not be the most sociable guy in the world, but he is very charming and devilishly handsome. I’m sure he’ll catch the attention of the women that are sure to be at the event, and who knows what he might do.

Honestly, I don’t think Vegeta views what we have as anything other than sex. Anytime I try to broach the subject, I’m quickly shut down, and I don’t want to do anything to upset him. I want to keep things the way they are, but there’s a part of me that needs to him hear him say what he feels.

I’m not a bitch ok…

Ok, maybe a little bit…

Vegeta is looking out the window, while I lay on the bed thinking these thoughts. The sky is filled with a burning red and gold as the sun slowly sets. The prince is clad in a pair of tight jeans and his hair is tousled, he looks very deep in thought and I think about reading his mind, but I decide to give him his privacy.

“Kakarrot.” His accentuated gruff voice startles me, and caresses me at the same time.

“Huh?” I reply, my attention solely on him.

He clears his throat for a second and I see sweat beads forming at his forehead, in a low whisper he says, “I’m scared.”

He’s scared?

I’ve known Vegeta for about 33 years, and we have faced many different adversaries together, from androids, to fat pink blobs, and finally…a crazy ass dragon.

And Not One Single Time…

Has He Ever said…

Even If He Knew He Was Completely Defenseless…

Even When There Was A Possibility That He Would Die…

That He Was Scared…

Something is definitely not right…

I walk over to him and as I am about to wrap my arms around him, he turns to me, and his eyes are filled with tears.

“V-Vegeta?” I say shocked at the tears that begin falling from his eyes.

He doesn’t say anything, he just silently cries and I bring him down to the bed and hold him close to my body. I don’t know what is wrong with him, but I decided not to press the issue. If all he needs right now is my comfort and support then that is what I will give him.

A few hours later, I awake to an empty bed. I get up and walk downstairs, confident that Vegeta is probably just waiting for me to cook, but my living room and kitchen are completely empty. I walk outside and still no sign of Vegeta, my heart begins to beat 100 times its normal speed and I frantically search the area for his Ki.

Finally I find it and lock on to it, teleporting instantly to where he is.

My jaw drops when I realize where I am…

I’m standing directly next to Vegeta, who isn’t startled by my sudden appearance at his side…

In front of us, is the tomb of his beloved.

Bulma Briefs…

For hours, we stand there in silence. Both of us, remembering her for the beautiful person she was. Finally Vegeta breaks the silence and says my name, not my Saiyan name but the name given to me by my grandfather.

"Goku."

It unsettles me and arouses me all at once to hear my name spill off his lips.

“You’re wondering why I’m here aren’t you.” He continues in his deep sensual tone and I simply nod in response.

Vegeta turns to me, and in a hard voice he says, “To say goodbye.”

He’s saying goodbye to her…

Vegeta motions for us to walk, and we leave the land of the dead. Soon we are home, but instead of going inside, we sit under a tree.

“In order for me to, move on with my life, I realized that I had to let go.” He says, with his eyes closed, and then he opens them. “I want to…love again.” He hesitates on the last part.

Once again, my insecurities fly into my head, it is good that he finally let go of Bulma, but for whom. Is he going to finally leave me and search for the love of a woman? Or is he already in a relationship with someone?

“I want…to love you.”

What?

Am I imagining things?

Suddenly he is on top of me, his eyes are locked on to mine and our lips are one inch away from each other. Once again, he repeats “I want to love you Kakarrot.”

I think my heart just skipped a beat.

I wrap my arms tightly around him and entangle my hands in his hair. “Then love me Vegeta, just do it. I promise you I won’t ever hurt you.”

He sighs heavily and lays his head against my chest.

In a soft whisper, so that only he can hear, I pour all of my passion and emotions into the three simple words I have longed to say to him…

“I love you.”