Quatre Winner\'s Diary

April: April\'s Fools

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Sunday, April 20th
8:35 am

There are some myths that the movies don\'t ever need to dispel. Backstage at a concert is boring. Really, very boring, especially if you aren\'t all that terribly interested in meeting the bands. If that\'s the case, then all the magic is bled out of the glamorous situation. I would have thought that if I didn\'t have Trowa beaming next to me.

Really, that\'s the only was to describe it. He was glowing like a child\'s first time at Disneyland. It must really be something special to meet your favorite band, because he was acting like a middle school girl on her first date.

My goodness I\'m using a lot of similes, but he was so excited I don\'t know how else to describe how he was last night. He was just...happy.

Backstage really isn\'t anything to write home about. There was a buffet, a handful of folding chairs and tables, and that was it. Really it was more like a giant business meeting for radio stations and record labels. I really didn\'t want to talk business. I was loathed to do so, but every single person in the room recognized who I was and zoned in on me. It was as if someone threw a bone to a pack of starving dogs. They fell on me like vultures, albeit very elegant vultures with a certain amount of intelligence and class, but just as savage and hungry as the flying scavengers. I was surrounded before I knew what was going on. It was as if they thought I was one of them, there to make contacts and talk business. Sometimes those pompous old men forget that I\'m still in my twenties and occasionally like to go and have fun.

Oh, it was horrible. I was stuck in the middle of what I hated most, desperate idiots who think of nothing more then where they can go in the world. They all want to be me, but none of them would last a day in my job.

My entire life has been like that. Everyone always wants what I have, but none of them realize what goes on behind it. They don\'t understand the work that goes on behind it. I didn\'t have just two parents to make happy, but thirteen, and with twenty-nine older sisters, you can never get out from under the shadows of at least one of them. There was nothing I could do that hadn\'t been done before. Every teacher had had one of my sisters in their classes. I may have had the privilege of money, but I had to work twice as hard to impress someone or come into my own, until college.

At college, people liked me for my car or my computer, but very few of my friends realized that I didn\'t know how to cook simple food or do laundry. It was the first time I had to do anything for myself, and I was lost. Unlike other students, I wasn\'t allowed to choose my own major, but I was allowed to join the orchestra. It wouldn\'t have been so bad if I had gone to an elite Ivy League school where everyone has money, but I wanted to go somewhere public where I could get a decent education but still have interactions with normal people and not rich snobs. I didn\'t want the nice little girlfriend looking for her MRS [1], only dating me because she wanted to marry a Winner.

The vulture syndrome wasn\'t as bad at college. I made at least a few friends that actually liked me, who followed me to NYC because none of us wanted to be alone. I really don\'t know what I\'d do without them, especially since it was Duo who saved me from the evil business men trying to coerce me into some deal in my off time. I was seriously about to scream in frustration when he popped up beside me and declared very loudly, \"hey Q, what time is it?\"

I was a little confused, but looked at my watch anyway and answered, \"It\'s a little after eight Duo.\"

\"Oh, so it\'s not between nine and five? Wow, because here was I was thinking that they were talking business after hours, but really I must be mistaken. I mean, no one here would be so rude as to trespass on your down time, now would they? No I didn\'t think so. Hil wanted to see you before she goes on; hang out a little more before she leaves, ya know.\" And with that, he lead me away from the throng of shocked assholes and into Hilde\'s dressing room where I collapsed in yet another folding chair and hit my head on the wall behind it. The entire time, Duo was laughing and cracking jokes that it hasn\'t been that bad in years.

After that, everything got better. The music was pretty good; of course our seats were on the floor, which meant it was super crowded and I got to be pressed up close to Trowa the entire time, especially since the throng of leeches descended on me.

Oh, shit. I just woke Trowa up. He mumbled something about stopping the infernal scratching and go back to sleep because he\'s cold. I don\'t think that was a request either. Well, it won\'t do to have a cold boyfriend, don\'t you think.

10:32 am

Hmmmm...nice nap, nice cuddle, the world always seems better after either, but after both it\'s sunshine and puppies. Especially if your boyfriend keeps whispering how handsome and wonderful you are over and over.

He\'s been doing that more often these last few weeks. I know it\'s just to assure me that I\'m what he wants, but there\'s something in his voice that just makes me believe every word.

Back to the concert. Most of the night I wanted to do little things like hold Trowa\'s had or give him a simple kiss, but...God, I hate having to hide this. We decided it would be better to save things like that until we were in private. It\'s a simple way to keep prying eyes and curious photo lenses off, yet another change since the incident a few weeks ago.

If my sisters want to keep my sexual preference out of the tabloid, then I\'ll do my best to keep it out. Besides, Duo and I are meeting with the board of directors to implement the new plans tomorrow. I really want to give them a chance to look and approve of some things, but others they aren\'t going to get a chance to even barter over.

When Starbucks started offering same-sex partners health insurance, people praised it as innovative, but no one seemed eager to jump on the band wagon and give their own employees the same courtesy. Well damn it, we\'re going to. And we\'re getting rid of cubicals. That was always one of those things that my father wanted to do. He called them stupid cushioned walls. Really that\'s all they are.

We\'ve come up with several new floor plans that are inspired by the dot com generation of business men for the sales and advertising areas. Accounting is fairly specialized as it is along with research and development. There\'s not much to do in those spaces.

Also we\'re relaxing the dress code; not too much, but just enough that the younger employees do fee feel like they have to dress so old. Getting rid of the ties would be nice, and of course I\'m sure the women would like to wear capris and dressy sandals. It\'s not like either Duo or I are about to raise hem lines three inches or anything like that, but to create a more comfortable atmosphere for the employees.

Then there\'s stock options and profit share ideas, which is mostly what I want to go into with the board of directors. The rest of it is simply going to be stated and implemented. It\'s a proven fact that happy workers are more productive, especially when presented with the proverbial carrot.

But I got off track again. I don\'t know why I\'m avoiding the rest of the concert; nothing all that out of the ordinary happened. Save when Trowa met Guster. It was something to see. Tuys uys in the band were so down to earth and subdued. It\'s no wonder Trowa likes them, they fit his personality well. The other bands were teasing them about being the kings of \"Sandal Rock.\"

I didn\'t understand the joke, but everyone thought it was funny, so I laughed along. Duo hit it off with the other band on the tour, which surprisingly enough was Barenaked Ladies. Those guys are really crazy. Really...maybe that\'s why they liked Duo so much. They share one sense of humor.

I know I felt a little on the outside the entire time; I think Heero and Wufei did too. Yes, somehow Relena drug \'Fei to the show, although she spent most of her time making out with Hilde. That\'s just strange to watch, but they both seem happy so who am I to say anything?

I was slightly embarrassed by the end of Hilde\'s set. Apparently she wrote a song about me years ago and now that I finally came out, she\'s decided that she needs to record it. Two months ago I would have loved a song about me, but that one... At least you can\'t really tell who it\'s about if you don\'t know me intimately. I don\'t think I need someone figuring it out, especially since it\'s yet another one of those constant little reminders that everyone knew I was gay long ago. It It threw me a little off balance last night but little things kept me off balance all morning too. All the little things that Trowa is whispering to me keeps tipping me a little. Then he and I got into a tickle war. I lost, but only because he\'s bigger then me. In the end, he was hovering over me with the tender a look in his eyes. Then he started to say something, but stopped himself and the quiet that come from not being able to say what you want covered over our good mood until his cell rang.

It was Cathy, apparently one of the lions is sick, so Trowa ran off the take care of him. He seemed in a hurry to get out of the apartment, but didn’t leave before promising me he\'s be back for dinner and kissing the top of my head.

Now I\'m alone, again and feeling strangely domestic. There are some dirty clothes on the floor and they\'re not all mine. I just feel like going down to the laundry mat and cleaning them. Is it presumptuous of me or would Trowa think it was a good thing? And I do know the difference between a washer and a dryer now, but I did find out during college that laundry is more fun when there\'s someone around, but first, a shower.

3:56 pm

Did you know that you couldn\'t bring a dog into a laundry mat? At least there are no attendants there to enforce it, because Firecracker loved it in there. He was just sitting and watching the dryer go around and around. He\'s such a sweet natured puppy and so curious.

I got Wufei to come and do laundry with me. He wanted to talk to me anyway and it seemed like a good excuse. I was hoping that it wasn\'t about my childish behavior a few week prior, and I was glad to find out it wasn\'t. He wanted relationship advice...from me of all people. Isn\'t that something to laugh about. Me! Of all the people he knows, he had to ask the most confused one of us all. It\'s just such a perverse irony...

He wanted to ask me how to get Sally to go out wiim. im. We were discussing a few options when Duo and Relena came bursting into the front door giggling about how wonderful fate can be. The next few hours were spent washing and folding and discussing exactly how Wufei should go about getting a date.

It\'ll be months before he gets around to asking her. He\'s a little shy. You wouldn\'t think it to look at him, but he isn\'t all that outgoing and uses a certain amount of roughness to keep people at a distance so he can evaluate them as worthy. It took me a few years before I figured that part of my friend\'s psyche out.

Okay, I just read over what I wrote. I really need to stop reading Shakespeare in my free time. Besides, I don\'t think Othello\'s doing anything for my frame of mind...or King Lear...or Hamlet. Maybe I should start reading the comedies? They seem lighthearted enough.

Anyway, apparently Duo called up Relena because Heero had to go out and he didn\'t want Duo walking the dog alone. And here\'s the really strange part. Heero went over the Cathy\'s. Now I\'m starting to get suspicious.

Well, we got the clothes clean, the dog got played with, but \'Fei\'s nowhere closer to getting a date with Sally. Duo said he should just pounce her and let it proceed from there, but I don\'t think Wufei liked that plan of attack. He seems to want to take things slow with her just to make sure they don\'t end up fuckbuddies. It\'s kind of sweet.

I did send Duo home and told him to get someep. ep. We have an important day tomorrow. I know it\'s early still, but I know that if I didn\'t remind him to get sleep he\'d be up \'til dawn with Heero again. I\'m not exactly sure what they do, but he\'s always happy the next day.

It\'s a couple hours until dinner, but if Trowa doesn\'t get here soon I\'m going to try and make something really complicated for dinner. Something that I know I\'ll mess up, like stir-fry. That\'ll teach him to leave me alone on my day off.

By Allah, I just wrote that...okay, so I miss him a little, but not as much as the stooges needed him. The poor lions are sick and I\'m being selfish and thinking about myself. Boy do I feel like a heel. Still, making dinner doesn\'t sound like a bad thing, maybe I should see what I have.
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1. An old college joke. A MRS is exactly what it l lik like, it means the girl is in college just to get married.