Quatre Winner\'s Diary

April: April\'s Fools

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Friday, April 25th
9:12 am

I feel like shit. I\'m tired and have that headache they used to describe on those old commercials: \"I have a headache this big...\" Yup, one of those ones; where it hurts from the top of your head to the base of your skull. Right now I\'d love to be back on the Demerol, except for the hallucinations, but I\'ll settle for some Aspirin...Tylenol ...Advil ...Aleve...a mallet, a guillotine, anything to make the pain go away.

I vaguely remember a brick wall coming at me, but that could have just been a dream. Although from the stitches on my forehead, I\'m pretty sure it wasn\'t. Actually, it feels more like a semi truck rather than a building hit me.

Trowa\'s still asleep, which I figure is a good thing considering that the nurse who brought me breakfast said he was awake with me all night. Sometimes I feel like he\'s too good to me, even though the doctor asked him to stay. Something about a near-psychotic episode and not giving patients with concussions sedatives. I remember something about blood and spiders. Oh there was so much blood covering everything, and then Trowa\'s eyes. They took you away; I don\now now why I\'m referring to a book as a person but I can\'t seem to get over it, and once I had Trowa and you close, I was okay again. Theod wod was still there, but I didn\'t think it could get me. I\'ll have to ask Trowa exactly what happened when he wakes up.

He left me a letter though, so I wouldn\'t worry myself and the staff sick when I woke up. He actually tried to make me laugh a few times. It was sweet, without being tooth-rottingly so. He\'s good at that balance. I should learn that from him. I feel like I\'m too cutesy sometimes.

I really don\'t understand why I\'m thinking about these things right now when my brother is down in the ICU, unconscious and in pain, and I\'m thinking about how sweet my boyfriend is and worrying about being to cutesy. Needless to say, I\'m feeling very shallow. Thinking about Duo hurts my head even more than it already does. Maybe I\'ll wait until I get those pain pills that I was promised.

Oh, here\'s the nice nurse again, but I\'m not sure I like the look on her face.

9:25 am

Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck...

9:27 am

Okay, I\'m not sure me cussing was the way Trowa wanted to wake up this morning, but fuck. Damn, shit, and oh hell as well. I don\'t think my sisters have to worry about me getting bad press. Apparently I\'m a hero, or at least that\'s what the Times thinks. It\'s the fucking front-page story, along with a picture of me kneeling next to Duo with blood running down my face. I am not amused.

Why my best friend being beaten nearly to death is something that people want to look at over their morning coffee is beyond me. I don\'t want to look at it, and I was there. And me as a hero...that\'s even more absurd. I\'m not a hero. I was making sure my friend didn\'t die, but they\'re painting me as some sort of Good Samaritan. I\'m not. Duo\'s part of my family.

But that\'s not the thing that makes me the most upset. Those assholes committed a crime of pure hate. It wasn\'t anything against Duo, it was against homosexuals. I bet the Times would love to get a picture of my boyfriend and I standing over Duo\'s bed. That would just add so much to their lovely cover story.

Don\'t these people have any decency? His family isn\'t here yet. Heero is sitting I don\'t know how many floors below me, waiting to hear something about his boyfriend\'s condition and they\'re plastering pictures of Duo on the front page, all beaten and bloody. It makes me want to throw something. Something large, like one of those assholes. Arg!

I think I\'d rather have the Demerol than have to face this mess. By the end of the week it\'s going to turn into an equal right\'s issue. All the gay pride organizations are going to be supporting us, and I\'m going to beir eir hero. I, \"normal\" heterosexual man, jumping in to save a gay man from being beaten. They didn\'t mention anything about Duo\'s connection to me or the company, just that he\'s gay and I\'m not. Oh, wouldn\'t they like to know.

I don\'t know if any of this is making sense. I\'m just so frustrated with the world. I don\'t want to turn on the TV because I know that this is going to be all over the daytime talk shows. The afternoon and evening news are going to be reporting this. It\'s just a huge mess. A big old huge mess. I wonder if I can convince the hospital that another day of rest here is what I need, because the second I step outside, reporters are going to be hounding me for an interview.

Maybe I should ask Treize to borrow Heero for a while. I might need a bodyguard.