The Meaning of Pride | By : CardDragonBall Category: Dragon Ball Z > Yaoi - Male/Male Views: 13043 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0 |
Disclaimer: I do not own DragonballZ, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story. |
Time
for the warnings portion:
A.
I own nothing but my own two hands.
All the characters portrayed here were kidnapped from their show DBZ and
forced to enact my wishes.
B.
Whilst mostly I strive to make this “in character” and not “AU” we must
all remember it is fanfiction. (I’m
getting a bit snotty here, aren’t I?)
C.
Smut. Vegeta POV. Slash.es">
(That’s two boys bumping uglies, by the way.)
D.
If you didn’t read the warnings, you are on your own I have no sympathy
for you.
And
lastly:
Got this idea off the DBZ Saiyan
Slash mailing list. Will probably be
posting it there and at AFF.net
~~***
It
would not go away. He wanted to pound
his head into the ground to get the endless round robin of thoughts to leave
him in peace. But it wouldn’t. The same thing, endlessly.n
sn
style="mso-spacerun: yes"> He had wanted Kakarot. If even for just two seconds, he had wanted
to be close to him. Physically,
mentally. Hell, as he thought about it,
probably even sexually. Hated it.
Stopped
flying to stand in the air and just stared.
At his hands. At his arms. Felt wind against him. Tried to imagine when this had
happened. Because he hated that
ignorant little Saiyan. "> (An annoying
little voice gave a snide chuckle and told him that he had never hated
Kakarot.) The idiot had no pride in
what he was. (Why was that? Because you never gave him anything to be
proud of.) He didn’t want the idiot
dammit!
And
that w. Curled his hands into tight fists, stared at the battle gloves. Hated the stupid woman for saying such a
stupid thing. Hated Kakarot for not fighting
back when he had tried to beat him.
Because if Kakarot had fought him he could have beat this stupid thought
out of his mind.
But
he hadn’t. He wouldn’t.
Fool.
Vegeta
stared at his hands still, and thought of Buu again. Thought of when they had been given those stupid earrings a
second time. Thought of how Kakarot had
been the first one to say that he wouldn’t fuse again. Thought of how he had been proud of him
then. Had smiled at him then. Felt a part of him draining straight down
into his toes, because that was the moment things had changed. When he crushed the second earrings. When he smiled at the idiot.
“Hey,
‘Geta!”
He
turned. Stared at the other
Saiyan. Narrowed his eyes and felt his
arms cross over his chest. Felt
something switch onto autopilot. And
didn’t say anything. Couldn’t. Because he had no idea what the moron was
here for. Wouldn’t it be great for him
to blurt out something when the idiot was just here to spar?
Kakarot
kept his distance. Looked hesitant. “I…
Uh…” Scratched the back of his
head.
He
knew. Vegeta knew that he knew. He had probably gone to Bulma and she had
told him. Hated Kakarot as insanely as
he wanted to know what the other Saiyan thought of it. Because Pride had been his companion in
every aspect of his life. He had been
able to share Pride with his fellow Saiyans at one point. With Radditz and Nappa. But that time had passed and he was alone
again. Proud. By himself.
“Look,”
Kakarot said finally, “You’ve been really…nice…since Chichi died. And I just wanted to…well…Bulma said that
and I was thinking…”
Kakarot. Thinking.
Wonders never ceased. But he
knew the moron was going to say something very soon that was either something
he felt obligated to say or something he thought would not be
well-received. Either way, Vegeta was
getting sick of standing still staring at him, wondering what he wanted to
say. Wondering what it would be like to
be close to him. Hating him for that
thought.
“Kakarot. Whatever you have to say, just spit it out
already!”
“I
didn’t mean to make you think that I wanted you.” All in a single breathe.
So he
had gone to the woman. Had reached the
same conclusion that she had. And the
other Saiyan was now implying that he did not want Vegeta. There was an insane moment where Vegeta
wanted to grab the oaf by the throat toss him to the ground and demand why he
did not want Vegeta. That urge was
stifled, naturally, because it was not something that a prince would do. So he just stood there, felt a void of
emotion as he stared at the idiot.
Having
realized when this insanity started, he was left to wonder how it had been
given room to grow. Why he felt as if
he could break down right her like a baby and be absolutely safe in knowing that
what was said would never be repeated.
Why he wanted to be able to break down in the first place. Hated the feeling of safety. As if he, the Prince of All Saiyans, needed
safety.
He
had lived a whole life without any security of any form and he was perfectly
fine. More than fine. He was the father of a Super Saiyan. And as he stood there, watched Kakarot
watching him, he realized that his son was the only thing he had. Besides the Saiyan before him. His son, himself and Kakarot.
~~~***
So he
said it. “I didn’t mean to make you
think that I wanted you.” And was left
to wonder if that was the truth. Sure,
he was lonely. Drifting around with
nothing to do and Vegeta had been the first thing he thought of when he
realized that Chichi was gone and with her had gone everything that made him human. So he had sought out Vegeta. Fought with him, asked him to tell them
about their planet. Had done those
things on purpose.
Realized
that he had been watching Vegeta closely—intensely—since Chichi died. Waiting for the sign that they could be
friends. That they could share the sort
of companionship that he had never shared with anyone, really. He had loved Chichi. But knew, even as he loved her, that she was
not an equal to him. Could never be as
strong as him or as powerful as him.
Realized
that Vegeta was everything Chichi could never have been. Because he was strong. And powerful. (And insanely full of Pride so much so that it made him
impossible to love and impossible not to.)
Vegeta was his equal. The only
thing in the universe that challenged him so much and tolerated him so much and
could really understand. The only thing
in the universe that was like him.
And
it was a great wealth of warmth inside of him to know he was not alone. Not an outsider. Because Vegeta was like him.
“Why
would I think that, Kakarot?” Vegeta demanded.
Right. Goku knew that voice. Knew that this was just nothing, a defense,
that behind that there was a real person that was terrified of actually letting
someone see him. And that, of course,
made Goku absolutely insistent to know what was behind the pride. Which was odd, because he had never been
that concerned about Vegeta before.
Considered the Prince perfectly capable of taking care of himself,
thought that he was a bit too ‘hey, here I am come and kill me if you’re strong
enough, which you are not’ in his approach to fighting; but he was sure Vegeta
was competent.
“Because
you do,” Goku said in response, “I know you do.”
An
eyebrow was raised in response.
Arrogant smirk was put in place.
A snort. All the regular
response, all the things that made Vegeta the Prince of all Pride. “Is that so?”
Standing
around wasn’t going to do anything, but he couldn’t very well just run up and
hug Vegeta (considering he had seen that Vegeta was willing to blow people to
bits and he didn’t want to be little pieces.)
So he inched forward a little bit.
“Yeah,” he said, tried to think about how he could bypass the pride to
get at something Vegeta would admit.
Found that his list came up really, really short.
“That
was very convincing.”
Goku
changed tactics. Decided that he would
talk about himself, because he couldn’t think of anything to say to Vegeta that
wouldn’t end in a battle and possibly getting blasted apart. “I don’t think I am sorry,” he said, “I
think I do want you to know that I like being around you.” It was a true gift to be able to act without
fear of the backlash. He looked at
Vegeta, wondered if he really wanted him.
Like Bulma said that he did.
Like he had wanted Chichi when he married her. Sure, the Prince was lean and smaller than him (like Chichi had
been.) But he was very masculine, very
muscled and very…Vegeta.
“If
you were going to reach a point please do so, I was busy.”
Rolled
his eyes. “Busy doing what,
Vegeta? Running away?” Regretted those words as soon as they left
his mouth because once the last syllable was spoken he was getting kicked in
the jaw, knocked sideways into a patch of what had once been a forest, then
kicked (by both feet, for extra bruising) straight down into the ground. Once there, he gritted his teeth, willed
himself not to get annoyed, and stood up.
Felt the ground rolling off his shoulders and looked at Vegeta standing
there, energy crackling around him.
“I am
the Prince!” he shouted, “I do NOT run AWAY like a coward!”
He
pulled himself out of the hole in the ground, moved over to Vegeta, looked down
at him. “Really?” he dared, “Then why
are you pretending that you don’t know what I’m talking about?” Blocked the punch.
“Because
you’re a fool!”
“Because
I’m beneath you, because you’re a prince, because I’m not worth it, because I’m
not a real Saiyan, because you’re so much better. Because you spent all your life trying to find someone to rule
and it must piss the hell out of you that I won’t let you rule over me.”
Vegeta
glared. Shook in anger.
“I
meant what I said two years ago, Vegeta.
The old ways are not the way things are anymore. You and I aren’t what we were born to be. But that doesn’t change the fact that we’re
both Saiyans. I don’t want to have
fig
fight you for the rest of my life.”
Sighed. “Why is it so hard to
just put the past in the past?”
“Because
we are the last, Kakarot, because if we do not remember what Saiyans once
where, who will?”
He opened his mouth to think say something—hadn’t even thought of
a response to the latest jibe. Felt a
terrible annoyance because he was fricking trying to be nice here, trying to be
considerate of Vegeta’s feelings, trying not to just resort to old fashion
fighting and finish this conversation with his fists.
Was
cut off by a mirthless laugh. “Will you
ever act like a real Saiyan?”
Ane lee let that get to him. Let that be the
last straw. Grabbed the Prince, by the
shoulders, yanked him up, felt outrage and annoyance and pressed his lips to
the scowl. Felt the mouth open as if
cursing, took advantage of that and opened his own, sucked in a little breath
and touched his tongue to Vegeta’s.
Teeth dug into his te, ae, and he knew that Vegeta was grabbing his
shoulders, sucking on his blood and completely pissed off. Pushed away from him.
“Let
me go.”
Goku
released him, watched him lick his lips.
Watch him tighten his fists, and grit his teeth, watched him shake his
head and then say “Dammit!” Then he
kissed Goku again.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~****
GASP! CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?!
Gk: F. I. N. A. L.
L. Y.
Vegeta: *tosses
baggage aside and strips *
Alright! Let’s go!
Card: not so fast.
Gk: Whatta you
mean?
Card: It’s not
that easy. Think about it. You’re in the wilderness, you have no lube,
you have no idea what you’re doing.
Gk: Sigh.
Vegeta: *naked * sigh.
Hectate 18:
I
feel sorry for Bulma too. Poor
dear. And Goku didn’t do what he
originally set out to do, did he?
Getarian:
Thanks
for the note about AU and in character.
That makes me all happy. (And
less nervous.)
Poor
Vegeta trying to get seduced by silly non-seductive people like Nappa and
Radditz. I think Goku should just grab
him from behind and have his way with him.
Save everyone the trouble of listening to Radditz try to woo someone.
Jaygoose:
*pulls
out knife and sets to carving up emotions. *
Yeah, it is sort of emotion-y.
Hm. Wonder how that happened.
Mechanical Butterfly:
Alas
Goku was wrong. Nobody was
possessed. (Besides, if they were
possessed we would never get to the smutty stuff because we would have to
un-possess everyone first.)
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