Much Like Suffocating
7
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Much Like Suffocating
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WARNINGS AND DISCLAIMERS:
A.
If I owned the show (DBZ), dontcha think you’d be watching the smut
instead of just reading it? (Insert
standard disclaimer here: I don’t own
Vegeta, Gokuny ony other characters mentioned herein) or the show they came
from DBZ DBGT or just plain DB.)
ALL RIGHTY. *rubs hands
together and looks up terms for the list of warnings: *
already screaming. You can read
it. I swear It’ll be chocked full of
lemony goodness. LEMONS (Not talking
about the fruit here, either. I’m
talking about the sex ones; although how did it come to be a ‘lemon’ anyway?)
Gasp): bondage, shady professions, and
graphic descriptions. (Hopefully
graphic anywho.) Also, dirty language
doubtlessly. DARK.
As always I strive to keep folk in character even when they are not
‘themselves’ in the canon-sense. If
you’re reading this and you’re like they are so not in character, give it a
chappie or two and see if you still think that.
I tried very hard not to write this.
bunny (the plot bunny) until it went away.
And you see how far that got me.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~****
When
Vegeta woke up again, he was standing in a shower. Blinked—had to blink because his body ached so bad he was
momentarily blinded by it—and stared at the hands holding him up.
wall, the fingers were pale, but they faded into the dyed skin as they trailed
up to the back of the hand. He looked
up at Goku’s face.
“How’s
it feel?” he asked, looked at his face, then raised the soft rag again to wash
his skin free of the oil.
Vegeta
dropped his eyes down to his erection, and groaned—not the pleasant kind, a
sort that just expressed the ‘why the fuck does this have to be happening to
me’—and then he looked back up at Goku.
Felt something moving around inside of him, a clash of memories.
his father and the imperial, smirking nature of the man.
and wondered just how much had changed in that time.
“Can
you talk?” Goku asked.
His
body was curling up instinctively, and he tried to move his hand down to his
throbbing erection, found they were bound together, and Goku stopped his hands
descent by grabbing them and pinning them over his head.
blinding rage as he was denied what he wanted.
Had a moment of vertigo as he tried to figure out if that was because of
his years stuck in Freiza’s house or a part of his personality as a
Prince.
Felt
sick for the first time since he had realized who he was again.
himself had been lost and he couldn’t get them back without always having to
wonder if that part was because he had spent his years servicing whomever Freiza
decided needed it. Found himself
whimpering, and didn’t feel ashamed as his hips moved forward, seeking any sort
of contact.
“It’s
the drugs,” Goku informed him, “I can help, but it doesn’t go away.
And
the big one just stood there. Suspended
on that edge of uncertainty. Unwilling
to cross boundaries he wasn’t sure of.
Sure, Vegeta thought as his hazy mind brought up the past four days,
there were limits now that he was himself again. Limits because he was a Prince, when just two days ago he had
been only a whore and Goku had given him his body willingly.
“Please?”
he whimpered. Wasn’t certain what he
was asking for, knew only that the throb had become painful and he wanted to
roll himself up into a bowl and teas sks skin off. Somehow thought that if he could just cut it off, his skin and
his erection, that everything would be okay because it would hurt anymore.
together and immobile, so he didn’t hurt himself.
Looked
at the length of Goku’s naked body, and wondered if he had suffered all this
alone. Saw the scars, on his wrists and
his tanned skin. Scars of trying to
tear the past out. Wondered if he was
really willing to live with what he had been.
“Tell
me if it’s not enough,” Goku whispered to him.
Wrapped his hand around Vegeta and stroked him.
him. It hurt, and it felt good, and he
wanted something more.
Wasn’t
going to say so. Wouldn’t ask his
savior to give up more. He didn’t know
how far those scars went, how deep Goku was feeling. Focused on the feeling of the hot hand around him.
Wondered why it was that he could think better when he was being
manhandled.
“Krillin…”
“The
midget?” he demanded. Pushed his hips
into the hand. Thought that the feeling
of ripping his own skin off was getting dimmer. “Why the fuck is he here?”
Goku
sighed. Released his hand from Vegeta’s
and knelt in front of him. Looked up at
Vegeta and sighed. “We’ll talk about
this in a minute, alright?”
~~~***
It
was a damn elaborate sham. Krillin had
posed in the town of Sirou, played the Pretty Prinor aor all the icejins that
hated him and his kind and wanted them purged off their home planet but
couldn’t make it to the surface because even if they didn’t have to breathe,
there were barriers around there that no ship and no icejin would ever
penetrate. Then Goku had ‘killed’ him
and left his managed corpse in his room.
Stolen the crown jewels and made off with them just in time to appear at
Freiza’s house.
The
Prince of Juro was not entirely sure they hadn’t struck a bargain with the
fucking devil. Saiyans had once
cleansed planets and sold them off to the highest bidder.
murdering and would have continued right on with that if not for the icejins
deciding they were sick and tired of their Saiyan adversaries.
drive their very race to the brink of extinction, and then, when all that did
not work, Freiza had risen up and kidnapped the Prince.
Juro,
a natural enemy of the Crown of the Saiyan world, had nearly rejoiced about
this. But then, Bardock came to visit
them. Told them the situation, told
them what he needed from them and what he was willing to give in return.
who knew telepathy to act as a conduit of thoughts for him.
their beliefs. Promised that he would
be rid of Freiza for them, would remove the icejin threat from the planet, and
in fact, there was already a plan in place.
That
was ten years ago to the very day.
Bardock had rescued his son just after the Prince was taken, and Krillin
had always sort of wondered why that was.
How convenient that was in respect to the fact the Prince was so easily
kidnapped. Had never considered that
there was a connection to the two.
Never considered that Bardock’s plan had already been in place all those
years ago.
Couldn’t
imagine just what the fuck the Prince of the Saiyans was thinking as he let
himself be kidnapped. Could not imagine
what the hell sort of justification was used for that one.
ability to understand. How could he
leave the Prince there for those years?
How could he abandoned his own Prince and save his child like that?
Why
had it been ten years? Why now as the
King started to die and everything started to fall apart?
The
spider-princess drifted into the room with him. Blinked her blind eyes, and tilted her head to one side.
them, but he could see him easily enough.
See how she was quietly asking all the same questions that he had.
Wondered
if Goku knew.
Knew
without even wondering, that Goku had not known. Could not have known because if he had, he would have said
something. Would have done something.
now because above most things in life, Goku firmly believed that there was no
greater crime in the universe than the loss of freedom.
He
played the Prince’s thoughts over and over in his mind unhe fhe felt sick.
A choice. A fucking choice to
become what he had. What sort of person
makes that choice? Who had the gall and
the…whatever…to chose that life over death?
Krillin would have taken the death.
Would have died rather than face the truth when it came back to him.
And
how had Vegeta known that he would be saved?
Had he known?
What
was the FUCKING PLAN?!
~~~***
mso-bidi-font-size:12.0pt'> Goku
sat. Stared. Looked at the Prince like this was the first fucking time he had
ever seen him, and wondered if maybe he should just jump out of the damn ship
right now. Just open the nice hatch and
jump out. Forget all this bullshit,
forget all the years he spent in captivity, forget that his father had saved
him. Forget the fucking war and killing
Freiza, and the Saiyan fight for freedom and independence.
they were going to die. Forget all that
shit.
Forget
it and fuck the Prince and his father and their stupid plans and what that
fucker had just told him. Forget the
way the Prince was not burning with fear and regret and disgust the way he
had. Forget that he knew it was
there. That there was shame buried
under that veneer of the Prince, forget that.
Forget that he had seen the fuck at his weakest and fought to rescue
him.
Forget
that he had been used.
He
wanted out.
Looked
at the Prince. Pushed his hands so
tight together they ached. “Fine,” he
said, “If that’s what you want.”
That
was the cost of freedom.
Choice.
Knowing
that you were fucking yourself over, and grinning as the choice came back and
claimed you. Freedom was taking the
drug and then crying. Freedom was
realizing you were destroying something that could never be remade and saying
“Hell yeah” as you rode the righteousness to death. Freedom was the scars he bore on his wrists, the pain he felt in
his chest. Freedom was the flickering
power all around him, the knowledge that he had been used.
Freedom
was spitting at the feet of your Prince after you signed your fucking life over
to him again. Freedom was seeing how
hard Vegeta fought to keep from breaking down.
Freedom
was worse.
Captivity.
Bliss. These things; they were
the drug.
Freedom
was the curse.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~******
Not
sure about the fate of this ficcie.
It’s darker than anything I’ve written in the fic world in a while.
the human/Saiyan psyche than I’ve delved before. (and if you’ve somehow missed everything that happened yesterday ‘yeah’
for you, and this next part might seem a little ‘out of the blue’ for
you.) I feel pretty bad that I
inadvertently caused a whole chain reaction of events.
Also
the line (that started all this controversy, that I knew it would and I feel
bad that I foolishly left it there) “Death or Life. Death or this life.”
And “this is what he had asked for” Those lines are NOT what you might think
they are. Like it says in the summary;
its not what it looks like. Even if
you’re angry and adamantly “VEGETA WOULD NOT DO THAT’ believe me when I
say. “Yes, I agree with you.”
yet been exposed, and I feel a bit like I’ve done a stupid thing by having him
‘think’ that before I gave a glimpse into that inner plot.
next chapter.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~******************
Gk: I like
it better when you’re not drugged up when we have sex.
Vegeta:
Hn. You’re not the only one.
Bulma: So,
Krillin and me and Chichi are all here.
Where are Yamcha and Master Roshi and Gohan?
Gk: *blink
* But…
Card doesn’t really like any of those characters.
Bulma: she doesn’t like Chichi either.
Gk: *looks
embarrassed * actually, she feels sorry
for her right now. Don’t worry it’ll
pass.
Vegeta:
Hello? We were talking about me
here!
Bulma: Look,
buddy, I can kick your ass.
Vegeta: As
if!
Rc:
Glad
you like it. Glad your reading it.
Ginia:
Hn.
you. *mwhahahaha *
Mechanical Butterfly:
Oh.
And
I don’t have any favorite reviewers, dear.
I love all of you. And all my
readers. And don’t worry about me and Getarian.
I think of all of us as a ‘Fic Family’ too. So yeah! *smiles *
guys all the time. (and impatiently
drumming my fingers against the e toe top whilst I wait for some ficcies to get
new chapters…) So…
Go read the next chapter.
Go. Go!
Jaygoose:
Naw,
you weren’t smug. I should have
recognized the song, I was listening to it when I started writing this
fic. Sheesh. You would think I’d remember it, wouldn’t you.
supporting me. Now that you have done
that, turn your little butt around and go write more of the Kilika story.
School is not nearly as important as you writing that.
Write.
Getarian:
*meep,
meep *
Macha:
Miracle?
quick.) Not sure if it’ll get ‘gory’ it’ll
definitely be a ‘war.’ I’ve got to hash
through a few more technical difficulties with the plot.
what I’m doing.