Insanity

Insanity


Insanity
By Black Komagoro


Chapter 7

"Now Relena, is my turn to explain some things to you"

Heero took the lid and opened the box.

"Do you see this? THIS is Duo"

She was on the floor, her clothes wet from the cold shower Zechs
had given her to wake her up; the pain on her chest was a clear
sign that there must be something broken, probably a rib or two.
At the sight of the blood-covered braid, together with the smell
she threw up, but Heero didn't close the box.

"Look at it! Look at what you have done!"

In a final effort to show him how much she loved him, she looked
at him with teary eyes an a pleading look.

"But I did it for YOU! So you could be free from his spell!
So you could see that you actually loved me and not him..."

Heero spit her on the face.

"That's the only thing I can feel for you Relena. You don't
know what love is about, you can't force someone to love you!"

His tears fell into the box mixing with the blood.

"You say you love me, but you took the most important thing
away from me. You destroyed Duo the exact moment you cut his
hair, and with it you destroyed my life. Duo was like the elixir
of life for all of us, he reminded us that besides of being
gundam pilots we were humans too"

Unknown to all of them, the boy on the couch was awake; he had
been awake since the moment Zechs has yelled that she wasn't a
Peacecraft anymore, but for some reason he didn't want to let
them know.

"I understand your reasoning now, you cut his braid because
you thought I liked him because of it"

It wasn't a question, it was an statement.

"You really are stupid. What do you think I am?! I love Duo
because of what he is!! If you had taken just a minute to get to
know him you wouldn't have done this!! He's the most amazing
person I've ever known! He went through awful times, he survived
things you wouldn't even stand to see!! He's a assassin and a
terrorist!! But he's also someone with a heart of gold! Even when
he had a horrible childhood he was always so alive!!"

They all were crying now; they all were what Heero mentioned,
they all had been called terrorists and assassins and they all
have had rough times, but they had never endured the things Duo
had. After all, he actually was the God of Death; they all knew
they would never completely comprehend the implications of that
truth.

"But what would you know about living in the streets, having
to steal to feed yourself. Not knowing if you'll survive another
night sleeping in a dirty street with the cold asphalt as your
bed. Having to sell yourself to at least get some money, so time
to time you could get some dirty clothes"

Heero paused, he knew he was revealing things the others
shouldn't know but he wanted her to see the magnitude of her
crime. His tears where flowing down his cheeks.

"You don't know what is it, when you have finally find a
place you could almost call a home, to see how it was burned up
to ashes and not being able to help the ones you once called you
family. You't k't know what is to see how the person you came to
call a mother, dies in your own arms. He lived all of that and
even more worst things, and still was showing us a smile,
conforting us when things seemed to hard to bear..."

Heero turned to look at his lover, laying on the couch so still
that if it weren't because of the soft movements of the chest,
you would think he was dead.

"Duo..."

He turned again to her; he took the braid from the box and shoved
it in front of her, making the blood to splash all over her face
and body.

"You killed him!! You killed the only light in my life!! He
was the only one who kept me going on, he was my reason to keep
living. He made me forget there was a self-destruct button in my
gundam!! And if you think, that just because he's not here
anymore I'm going to run to you, you're seriously deluded! I LOVE
HIM!! Love him so much that if he never wakes up I'll kill myself
just to be with him!!"

Relena had her eyes wide open and her mouth hanging. This wasn't
what she had planned; Heero was supposed to forget the stupid fag
and come with her, proclaiming his love for her and asking her to
forgive him for his mistake.

"But Heero..."

"SHUT UP RELENA! I don't want to hear you talking! Just your
voice is hideous to me!! I HATE YOU and I'll do whatever is
needed to see you pay for what you did!"

Quatre could feel everything inside of Heero, his rage, his pain,
his hate, but most than anything he could feel the way he slowly
lost his wish to keep living. He didn't want to lose another
friend, but there was almost nothing he could do.

"There's something else I'll tell you before I kill you"

"WHAT?! But-but you said that you wouldn't kill me if I
cooperated!"

Heero smiled, and it scared the hell out of them all.

"Sadly the only one who never lied is dead... I CAN lie and
I did"

"You can't kill me! You would be a murderer!!"

Heero's smile got even wider.

"I'm ALREADY a murderer, all of us are! Now shut up and
listen"

She was so scared that she didn't even notice the warm feeling on
her legs or the dark spot on her pajama's pants.

'Ha! And she always was asking him to kill her... now she pee in
her pants when he's actually going to do it... How pathetic'

Quatre thought, unknown to him that all of them were thinking
exactly the same.

"You say you love me but you don't even know me. I'll give
you that 'pleasure' before you die. I don't know who my real
parents are, I only have memories of Lowe, of my training and all
the missions I had to do with him and then for Dr. J; I was never
taught what love was about, I was told to not let emotions get in
the way of missions, that the future of people was on my
shoulders. I was a cold bastard who didn't care if he died or who
he killed, and then I met Duo"

He took a deep breath, he was giving the longest speech he had
ever done in his entire life.

"He bothered me, I thought of him as a nuisance because he
distracted me. He made me feel and I was taught I shouldn't feel,
but then he showed me that feelings made you even better; I had
something even most important than the world or the colonies to
fight for. He gave me the option of a future I never thought I
actually could have. He taught me to value my own life, that I
was as important as the people I was fighting for. Duo, in his
own peculiar way, digged deep inside of me and showed me I had an
empty heart eager to be filled, and he filled it with his
friendship and later with his love. Something you could never
have done, I saved you because I thought you could made a
difference in this war, but I was amazingly wrong; you're not
only useless to our cause but you now destroyed all his hard work...
He worked himself so hard for me, and now it's wasted"

He pressed the braid to his chest.

"Heero don't..."

All the eyes turned to the couch, the boy was trying to balance
himself. In less than a second Heero was at his side, with the
braid still in his left hand.

"Duo? It's really you?"

Duo half smiled, the only sign that indeed it was him were the
bright amethyst eyes.

"Yes Heero... but don't know for how longt;
t;

Duo turned to look at the people on the room, he already knew who
were there but even when he had been awake all the time he hadn't
opened his eyes. He was too calm and that worried his friends,
all the others times Duo had woken up he had been screaming or
too weak.

"Duo, how are you feeling?"

"Fine I guess, well as fine as I can be giving the
circumstances"

Duo looked down and saw what once had been his braid, he took it
and lifted it up. It was then that Relena decided to give him a
piece of her mind, not that she had one to start with.

"YOU!! You fucking son of a bitch!!"

Heero was about to stand up and kill her when Duo stopped him.

"No Heero, let her talk..."

They all were scared at the way Duo was acting, because they had
a feeling that it was Shinigami the one making Duo be so calm.
Relena continued with her 'talk'.

"You are the responsible of all my suffering!! You took
Heero away from ME!!"

He looked at her and shook his head.

"I didn't take him away from you, because he was never yours
to start with"

"NO!! You did something to him, you made him believe he
loved you!! I can't believe he would go to you by his own free
will!! HE LOVE'S ME!"

Duo's eyes darkened.

"I don't lie Relena, and I would neverce sce someone to be
with me if they don't want to. Heero came to me because he wanted
to"

He stopped and took Heero's hand in his and then continued.

"And stop talking of something you don't know the meaning of.
You will never know what love is because your heart is rotten;
you did this to yourself Relena"

She didn't know what to answer, so she kept repeating the same
she had been saying all that time.

"He can't love you! You're a monster, look at you!"

Duo looked at his hands, the long black nails and pale skin. Then
he looked at her again.

"The only monster I see here is you!"

They all noticed the change, Shinigami was losing the support he
was giving Duo and this one was starting to become every time
more and more angry. The reality of his situation and what she
did to him taking over him more and more.

"Did your deluded mind think that my hair was the only thing
that attracted Heero to me?!! Did you really think that he would
come to you if I disappeared?!"

Stubborn as she was she kept believing her own words.

"Yes! If he still hasn't done it it's because you still have
a spell on him!!"

Duo stood up and was now looking down at her.

"A spell?!! Do you think we're still in middle age?! Spells
don't exist Relena!! What is keeping Heero with me is called LOVE!
But what do you know about that?! Nothing, everyone in this room
had told you the real meaning of love but your clouded mind
didn't want to hear it... They opened their heart and told you
their most deep secrets, but you didn't care. All you thought was
that the 'scum from L2 lying on the couch' had taken what
supposedly was yours"

They all were shocked, they all with the same thought.

'Had been Duo awake all this time?!'

"Love is not about possession, love is about giving all you
have to make the other happy. Did you think about Heero when you
cut my braid? No, you were only thinking of yourself. You were
thinking that finally Heero would be yours. You don't know
anything about suffering! But all of us DO! All of us had
suffered the loss of more than one person we loved! Trowa lost
all his family, Quatre lost his parents and all his COLONY! By
his own hand, do you even have the slightly idea of what that
must have been for him?! Or for Wufei for that matter?! His whole
clan decided to sacrifice their lives to save HIM, how do you
think he feels?! Treize had lost a lot friends who gave their
lives for him and his cause and he's definitely NOT happy about
that!!"

He was crying by now; he knew his words were affecting all of
them, but he needed to take all of it out of him and make her
open her eyes before her death.

"Zechs lost his whole family and he even had to renounce to
his name so he could make justice!! And this is how you pay his
efforts!! Making of your family name a joke?! I'm an war orphan,
I had to live on the streets and take care of myself at an age
when most children should be in school enjoying life and playing
with other children! I didn't have a childhood and when I finally
found a place I could call home it was destroyed because of the
war!! The man I called father was killed protecting me together
with the other orphans!! Sister Helen died in my arms and I
couldn't do ANYTHING to help them!! No one wanted to adopt me and
if they did they always ended taking me back at the church!!"

"Duo, please... you don't have to-"

"Yes I do! You don't have even the slightest idea of what
was for me to find all of them dead when I was actually trying to
save them... And then, when I met the guys I felt that I had
finally found my place, and you took it away. And Heero... Heero
never knew what was to have a family, Lowe took him and trained
him to be a soldier when he should have been playing like any
other normal child. When Lowe died he was completely alone again
and then Dr. J found him and continued his training... But in a
way I should thank them, because I could meet him. He started to
learn what was to be alive, REALLY alive"

"You say you love him, but you don't even know him. Do you
know how much I had to work to make him open up and trust in me?
Do you know how many times I ended with a black eye because of
that? No, you don't know. But I took the hard work happily and I
showed my black eye and bruises with pride, because I knew I was
making him change to be a better person. I have always loved him,
but I accepted that if he never loved me back I at least would be
his friend and I would be happy to see that he would be happy
when the war ended... because he would know how to live
afterwards"

They all were in a total silence, Duo's words had gone deep
inside all of them; so much that even Wufei was crying now. And
then Duo collapsed, he fell to the floor but before his head hit
the floor Heero took him in his arms; but it was so fast he lost
his balance and fell with Duo over him and in the process the hit
the box still full of liquid blood. Why the blood wasn't still
coagulated was a mystery none of them really cared about; Duo's
blood covered Heero's and Duo's hands.

"Do you see this Relena?"

Heero said raising his hand covered in glistening red. He
caressed Duo's face and closed his eyes.

"This is Duo's life and it's all spilled on the floor. Tell
me... how I'm gong to do to put it back and bring him back to me?"

Relena was crying, Duo's words made what any of them could.

"I'm sorry... I'm so sorry, I really didn't think-"

"That's right... you didn't think. You never thought of what
kind of consequences your act would have, and now you'll have to
pay for it"

She looked into those eyes as red as the blood that covered the
face of their owner, and felt that the end was close. Shinigami
stood up and made a scythe appear in his hand, the blade was made
of light; it was very alike as the one Deathscythe used. He
pointed the sharp end of it towards her.

"You must die"

And just when he was about to pierce her heart and hand stopped
him.

"NO! You can't, if you do that duo will never come back!
Please... I beg you to let him come back. Please"

Heero had never pleaded to anyone, except Duo. And now he was
willing to let go of all his pride to save him.

"Why do you love him so much?"

"You should know, you live inside of him"

Shinigami lowered the scythe and looked at Heero with confused
eyes.

"I don't understand"

"You are the god of death, you take souls with you. Look
inside and see the soul of the one who lend his body to you"

Shinigami closed his eyes, they waited and when he finally opened
his eyes again he smiled.

"You're a good person, I understand now... but she still
have to die"

"I know, but please let him to be the one who do it. He's
the only one who have the right to do it"

It was amazing how they talked about killing her as if they were
talking about the weather; she was scared and of course she
didn't want to die, but deep inside of her she understood that
they had to do it.

"I'll give him a chance, but if he have only one moment of
doubt I'll come back. No matter what you tell me"

Heero thanked him, Shinigami closed his eyes and when they were
opened again Duo had came back with them. By now he and Shinigami
had formed a link that couldn't be broken and he had heard him.
He would do it, besides he wanted to make her pay for what she
did not only to him but also to all of them.

"Du... Duo?"

"Now you remember my name, ne Relena? And don't even think
about telling me to not do it. You'll wish that it had been
Shinigami the one to take your life... because I'll make you pay
for each one of us"

With that he tightened his grip on the scythe and lowered it
fast, ripping clothes and flesh, making the blood pour from the
wound on her side.

"Ahhhhhhhh!!!"

"That one was for Treize, who had suffered the loss of so
many in the battle field"

He cut her again, this time ripping apart the flesh on her right
leg; the wound was deep and the muscles could be seen easily.
Blood smell spread through the place, together with her screams
of pain.

"That one was for Zechs, who even now thinks of you as his
sister... he won't stop me, but it still hurt him to see you
suffering. Because of his pain of knowing he lost all his family
and having to disown himself to get justice!"

Zechs eyes were full of tears, he would lost the last member of
his family. He knew he couldn't do anything and he didn't want to
do something to help her, because he knew she deserved what she
was getting. But he wasn't a heartless man and it affected him to
see her being punished. Duo chopped one of her arms, it was kind
of logic she would have passed out by now, but Shinigami wouldn't
let that happen.

"This is for Wufei, who suffered the lost of his colony and
the woman he respected so much, and whom you insulted with your
actions as a member of the female gender"

Duo cut the flesh and muscles of the other leg, so deep one could
see the bones this time. They all had closed their ears to her
screams.

"This one was for Quatre, who will never forgive himself for
the destruction of his colony and for not being able to save his
father's life"

He kicked her so she was now laying in her stomach and then he
slashed her back, making a large wound that went from the right
shoulder to her left hip.

"That's for Trowa, who suffere the the hands of the
mercenaries. Who lost his family even before he could have a good
memory with them"

He pierced the skin on the left shoulder and slowly dragged the
scythe to her right hip, making an X on her back, by now she
didn't have a voice to keep screaming.

"That one was for me, for taking my memories away together
with my life. For making me lost the only thing Solo left me, he
told me to keep my hair long and I did as a way to never forget ; I ; I did it in his memory"

He took her by the hair and made her seat again with her back to
the wall.

"And this one..."

He said while ripping her chest in different places, the pool of
blood under her was bigger every time.

"This one is for Heero, for making him hate himself for not
being there for me and for insulting the memory of that little
girl he compared you with, because you in some way reminded him
of her and he saved you in a way to fix his mistake from the past.
The last one is for taking his happiness away and for making him
to want to be dead"

With that he pressed the tip of the scythe on her neck and
pressed lightly.

"Bye Relena, I'll pray for you to be a better person in you
next life"

With that he finished; for a moment nothing happened, but then
her head fell from her neck and to the blood covered carpet.

"It's over..."

With that, Duo let go of the scythe and fell to the floor.



"NOOOOOO!!!"

Amethyst eyes opened, his face and naked body were completely
covered with sweat. His hand looked for the end of braibraid and
to his relief he actually found it; it was then when he noticed
the glint of something in front of him. He looked up just to find
that it was Relena, with a pair of scissors in her right hand.
But she wasn't moving, and her hands were trembling.

"Relena..."

Then he noticed the other person in the room, behind her there
was Heero he had his arm extended but firm and he was pressing
the end of his gun on her nape. His eyes were determined and full
of hate.

"Drop the scissors..."

She did and before she could even tell something to him he had
hit her making her to hit her back hard against the wall. She was
going to say something but Heero gagged her before she could.

"I definitely don't want to hear you voice right now Relena,
besides everything you say will be used against you"

She looked at him with pleading eyes, but he had closed his mind
and senses to her; his only worry was in the bed, naked and
obviously agitated.

"Duo? Daijobu?"

Violet eyes looked at him and they were afraid, whatever he was
dreaming must have been really bad.

"Heero... I"

Duo hugged him with strength and started to cry.

~TBC~

Ok, this chapter was a real pain in the a** for me, and still is,
because I don't know if you liked this sudden change or not. I
really hope you did, because this is how I first planed the fic,
there are stilotheother two chapters... at least.