Quatre Winner\'s Diary

January: New Year, New Life

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Saturday, Jan 11th

11:30 am

My answering machine is full of messages, I just know it. And I know exactly who they are and what they\'re about. One\'s Lena calling me a fucking hypocrite and saying that if I even suggest her giving up on Heero again because he happens to work at the same place that she does, then she\'s not going to listen. But she loves me and is happy that I\'ve found someone and she hopes that she can make me happy. One\'s Duo, saying Lena\'s not really mad at me because he talked to her and she\'s fine with the whole thing now. And he\'s happy for me, hopes I get some, and that she keeps a smile on my face for the whole three weeks of our relationship, \'cause that\'s how long it\'s going to last unless I get really plowed one night and discover the joys of sex. And then there\'s Wufei saying that I\'m an unjust fuck head who deserves everything I get and that I should just get real and admit to myself who and what I really am. As usual when he\'s mad he makes almost no sense. The problem is, they\'ve all jumped to the wrong conclusion.

All I did was tell Relena that she was off the hook for the launch because I found someone else to go with. I thought this would have made her relieved, but instead she wanted to know everything about Dorothy that she could, and then jumped to the conclusion that we were dating. After yelling for a quarter of an hour she hung up and called Duo, who she always calls when she\'s mad at me, and as usual Duo and Wufei went over to comfort her, but not before they both called to me at yell. Then somewhere around the third bottle of wine, they all call back, each picking up an extension, and apologize for their rash behavior together. This always sounds funny because Wufei usually ends up singing something obscure from the eighties. Actually, he usually does that when he\'s drunk. Then in the morning they all call back and apologize properly. That\'s why I don\'t want to answer my phone. They all assume things that aren\'t true, like they did with Trowa. I love my friends, but damn it, I like girls, I swear. Sometimes I think they don\'t know me at all. But they\'re there when I need them, which is what coun

1:00am

Just got back from dinner with friends, as a way to say they\'re sorry. Got really trashed. Got to sleep now. Night night.

Sunday, Jan 12th

1:15 pm

Must remember to drink water after going out and getting trashed. Hangovers are evil, evil things. I gotta remember that, but dinner went well. Lena apologized for jumping to conclusions and assuming that I was dating Dorothy. In fact she said she\'d like to meet Dorothy, I think they\'d be good friends. God, I\'m going to die alone. No one is ever going to want me. Even Duo\'s found someone, although it\'ll probably be another week-long relationship, and they tease me about my fickleness. And one of these days Heero\'s going to give in to Lena\'s charms. And Wufei\'s going to find a nice doctor to settle down with, and their kids, who are constantly going to ask why I don\'t have a wife, yet will call me Uncle Quatre. Then I\'ll die alone in my apartment and not be found until the stench drives my landlady to break down the door. Or even worse, I\'ll take my father\'s position and then die alone in a mansion and be found by servants that don\'t care about my being gone except that they are out of a job. Allah, I\'m going to be Ebeneizer Scrooge. Live alone, die alone, with no one to mourn me.

2:00 pm

I called Duo and cried about the fact that I\'m going to die alone in a huge house, and he said that I wouldn\'t be alone because he\'d be there with me.

\"Q, honey, if you\'re unlovable enough to end up alone, then I\'ll be right there with you,\" he said.

\"You know, I should just turn gay, but only if you\'ll marry me.\"

\"Sure, if I get to be on top.\"

\"No way, I want to be on top.\"

\"Control freak.\"

\"Nympho.\"

\"Oh yes. You know me too well. So you still hung over?\"

\"Oh, hell yes.\"

\"Well you\'re doing a good job on those new year\'s resolutions. We\'ll turn you into a real person one of these days. Now how about getting you laid?\"

\"I\'d need a partner for that one, Duo.\"

\"How about that Dorothy chick? You said that she\'s hot.\"

\"She\'s attractive.\"

\"And she thinks that you\'re a sex god of some sort.\"

\"Well she hasn\'t said that, per se...\"

\"God, you use fancy language while hung over; we really need to get you laid. I say you concentrate completely on the marketing chickie and get yourself some bush. That should loosen you up.\"

\"How would you know? You\'ve never had a girl in your life.\"

\"Oh, touché. Well, we should get you a guy then. Maybe Trowa would oblige your need for some stress relief.\"

\"Good-bye Duo.\"

\"What? You said he was handsome and he shook your foundations.\"

\"I said I was shaken up by the accident, and I was.\"

\"Sure, sure. I\'ll turn you on to guys one of these days. Okay, so you work your mojo on that gorgeous office blonde, and I\'ll find someone one of these days.\"

\"What about that guy you were talking about last night?\"

\"Went back to his wife. Apparently he only wanted to try things with an attractive man, to see what it was like. I just have all the luck.\"

\"You and me both.\"

\"Okay, we don’t need to be wallowing is self pity. We\'re young, attractive, and intelligent. Doesn\'t mean we\'re hopeless, it just means we have bad luck. God I wish I could find a beautiful Asian man around here, but the closest thing is Wufei, and he\'s way too straight.\"

\"You\'re such a rice queen.\"

\"And Lena\'s a fag hag. So what\'s your point? Knowing her luck, Heero will turn out to be gay.\"

\"Stop dreaming Duo. We both know one of these days he\'s g to to come around and take her up on the offer.\"

\"A guy can have a wet dream can\'t he? Man, who would have thought that the first day of class we\'d end up this way?\"

\"Everyone but us.\"

\"Shut up and nurse your hangover. I\'ve got to go find me a nice piece of ass.\"

\"You\'re incorrigible.\"

\"That why y\'all love me. Talk to you later Q-bean.\"

\"Yeah, see you Duo.\"

3:15pm

Now I\'m clean and kind of normal again, but still all alone. But I realized that I didn\'t explain to you about Lena and her history with men, whose luck is about as good as Duo\'s.

Duo and I met Lena on the first day of classes. She was in our Intro to Political Science class, and followed Duo for the next twenty hours or so. It was kind of annoying because she was everywhere, but then it all changed one night.

Duo decided that we all needed to get drunk, especially Wufei. So he found some upperclassman to get a couple bottles of Everclear and made \"jungle juice\" which aside from it\'s seemingly innocent appearance was very potent. Jungle juice is made by combining a bottle of Everclear, a bottle of Hawaiian Punch concentrate, a variety of fruits (all cut up), and whatever other hard alcohol that you can get your hands on. Then you allow the concoction to sit for at least twelve hours to let the Everlclear soak into the fruit. After all that, it\'s finally ready to drink. And drink we did. That was the first time I\'d ever tried alcohol. But that\'s not what this story is about.

So Lena ended up in our room that night, finding some lame excuse about needing to get some of my notes. Well, she ended up drinking with us. I don\'t even know how Duo got Wufei to come drink, but the four of us sat around in the common area and got trashed. By the end of the night we were telling our life stories. That\'s when Duo admitted that he was gay, Wufei told us he had been married, and Lena cried about having a crush on the first gay man she\'d ever known, which got a big laugh from all of us. After that we were pretty much inseparable. It\'s nice to know that my best friends came about from a drunken night at college. After that, we didn\'t need alcohol to loosen up. There\'s something about sharing the story of your life with people that creates a trust. Besides, after waking up with Lena curled up next to me in bed, I realized that she wasn\'t as bad as we thought.

After the crush ended, well she became human. Stalker mode was off, and she turned out to be decent. Of course that night was when I first realized that my life was boring and sheltered and perhaps I needed a change. Now six years later I\'m starting to make them. Call me a procrastinator, but there were more important things to do first.