Patience | By : Pixelgoddess Category: Dragon Ball Z > Yaoi - Male/Male Views: 13911 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 1 |
Disclaimer: I do not own DragonballZ, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story. |
Patience
By
Pixelgoddess
Summary – Vegeta
has had
his eye on Goku for years, but isn’t willing to make the
first move. Will
either of them bend?
This started out life as
a series of one-shots, with required sentences – first
‘Why did you stop?’, then
‘I’ve been waiting a long time for this’
and ‘You wouldn’t dare.’ Now look what
has happened – it’s taken on a life of its own.
Pairings – oh
please – I
almost never write anything but
Goku
and Vegeta. What do you think?
Warnings – This is
me you are talking about –
expect smut
and angst, pretty much in equal measure. With enough sap to thin it
out.
Goku/Vegeta. Sex. Kissing. Smut. Yaoi. (Does everyone know what that
means?)
And now that the cat is out of the bag – mpreg.
Vegeta leaned against a wall
at the Lookout, waiting none too
patiently for Dende to finish examining Kakarott. They had flown here
together,
Kakarott’s ki finally having stabilized enough so any drops
in ki were gradual
and almost predictable. It wasn’t that his mate’s
ki had really gone down – it
was more like the baby was using it so he couldn’t access it
himself. Still, he
wasn’t as worried about his mate falling from the sky
– it was more likely that
Kakarott wouldn’t have enough ki to fly at any given moment.
“Vegeta,”
Piccolo said, landing and crossing over to him, “What brings
you here? Is Goku okay?”
“He’s
fine. End of the first quarter – just a check-up.”
He was doing
his best to be more involved in this child’s birth; somehow
it seemed easier
this time. Maybe it was some hard-wired Saiyan instinct to protect a
tasan.
Then again, maybe it was guilt at putting Kakarott through this. He
wasn’t used
to examining his motives, but it seemed to be necessary when dealing
with Kakarott.
Piccolo nodded,
“Good. Maybe he’ll settle down now. He just
hasn’t
been himself lately. I wish I knew what was bothering him so
much.”
Vegeta scowled.
Kakarott’s willingness to share things with the Namek
galled him at times; it wouldn’t be so bad if he talked to
Vegeta the same way,
but there were still things Piccolo knew that he did not. “I
figured he would
have told you all about it.”
Piccolo frowned back at him,
“I’m not trying to come between you two,
if that’s what you’re thinking.”
“Could have fooled
me.”
“Fine. Maybe I was
at first. I’m not now – I haven’t since
you said
you were mated.”
“You’re
serious,” Vegeta said, not completely sure he believed the
Namek.
Piccolo shrugged,
“He made his choice.”
Vegeta looked at him
appraisingly. Maybe it was better that he didn’t
know Kakarott hadn’t really made a choice yet. He seemed to
be incapable of
completely committing to having Vegeta as his mate. There was something
troubling Kakarott, holding him back, but he wouldn’t reveal
what it was even
when Vegeta asked him. Most of the time Vegeta was able to accept it,
hoping
that when his empathy returned Kakarott would want him to be his mate
the same
way Kakarott was his. Other times…frustration, annoyance,
anger and even rage –
what was holding Kakarott back? Was being his mate so horrible that he
would
hesitate so long?
“Did Kakarott tell
you anything?” he asked hopefully.
“No. All I know is
he is worried about something – but I don’t know
what.”
Vegeta let out a sigh and
leaned back, closing his eyes. He could feel
the churning of Kakarott’s emotions, but as usual
couldn’t tell what was
causing the ever increasing anxiety. Suddenly he felt a spike
of…worry? Fear?
He pushed off the wall and rushed into the room.
“Kakarott?
What’s wrong?”
Kakarott looked at him
wide-eyed, mouth opening and closing as he
tried to form a response.
“Is there
something wrong with the baby?” he asked, trying to ignore
the knot that threatened to form in his stomach.
“The baby is fine,
Vegeta,” Dende said smiling, “Goku’s just
feeling a
little anxious, I think. He’s fine, though; completely on
schedule.”
Vegeta went to his mate, now
sitting with his eyes downcast, and
brushed his fingertips over his cheek. “Kakarott?”
Kakarott looked at him and
made a small apologetic smile. “Sorry,” he
whispered, “I didn’t mean to worry you.”
“Are you sure
you’re alright?” he asked softly, wishing he could
read
Kakarott’s thoughts.
Kakarott nodded his head
slightly, “Yeah. Nothing to worry about.”
He held back a sigh
– they’d gone through this before. Kakarott
wouldn’t tell him until he was ready – and Vegeta
was worried he might never
be. “Fine. Let’s go home.” He drew
closer, wrapping an arm around his mate’s
waist, preparing to feed him energy. He recognized the beginning of a
low cycle
for Kakarott’s power, but with a little boost he should make
it home safely;
without it they’d be stuck here all day. “Just let
me give you some ki.”
“No!”
Kakarott exclaimed, pushing him away, a hint of panic in his
voice. “I’m fine. I’ll stay here for
awhile.”
Vegeta frowned and dropped
his hand, curling it into a fist, torn
between pain and fury. Afraid… Kakarott was afraid of him.
He turned and pushed
by the Namek still standing in the doorway. “You
win,” he muttered, flying
away.
-------------------------
Vegeta flew into a brutal
kata, trying with little success to ignore
the hurt and rage Kakarott’s rejection caused. He considered
and dismissed
using the gravity room – at the moment he had so little
control over his ki it
was likely he’d destroy it; with Bulma and Trunks gone,
getting it rebuilt was
always a problem. The explosions of rocks and the earth showering down
on him were
more satisfying somehow; destruction felt good.
He paused in his violence
when he felt the approach of Kakarott and
the Namek – come to gloat, no doubt. He frowned at himself
when he felt a
protective surge at the realization a protesting Kakarott was slung
over Piccolo’s
shoulder. His mate’s ki had dropped, leaving him without the
strength to
escape. Vegeta could hear him demanding to be put down.
“What the hell do
you want?” he growled. He wasn’t sure he could
guarantee the Namek’s safety at the moment; he had to keep
reminding himself someone had to
take care of Kakarott to
protect their child.
“You forgot
something,” Piccolo said, lowering a struggling Kakarott
to the ground. He angrily pushed away from the Namek before looking at
his
surroundings. As soon as their eyes met Kakarott dropped his gaze to
the
ground, hunching his shoulders in awkward discomfort.
Vegeta glared at the pair,
trying to hide how much he wanted to
comfort and protect his mate. “I didn’t forget a
damn thing. Kakarott made
himself perfectly clear.”
Kakarott glanced back at the
Namek as if asking for help but Piccolo
shook his head, “No. This is your problem and you have to fix
it.” He caught
Vegeta’s eye, “Make him talk. Sit on him if
necessary. Work it out. I’m tired
of being in the middle of this.”
They looked on in surprise
as Piccolo suddenly flew away, leaving an
obviously upset Kakarott behind, his ki too low to follow. Vegeta
turned and
stretched, preparing to go back to his training. All he wanted to do
was go to
Kakarott and take him in his arms, but he couldn’t
– what if his mate rejected
him yet again? Then what? What was he supposed to do?
“Vegeta,”
Kakarott pleaded, “I’m sorry. I didn’t
mean it.”
“Bullshit!”
he snapped. All his fights with Bulma had never managed to
hurt him as much as one little action from his mate. He
couldn’t run from this
anymore; he wanted – needed
–
Kakarott, but no matter how much he tried to get closer the further
apart they
became. “You’ve obviously made your choice,
Kakarott, and it isn’t me. It’s the
Namek. It’s always the fucking Namek.”
“That’s
not true! I lo-“
“Love? Is that
what you were going to say Kakarott?” he said bitterly.
“I told you the humans have made the word meaningless and
this only proves it.”
“But
you’re my mate,” Kakarott protested.
He hated the pain that
poured off of Kakarott and crossed over to him,
cupping his cheek in his hand. Something about the way his
mate’s face felt
against his fingertips always comforted him – made him feel
closer. It was one
of many things he would miss on losing Kakarott. His mate looked at him
hopefully, but he could only shake his head sadly, suddenly unable to
feel any
anger, only an aching emptiness. How could this have gone so wrong?
“No,” he
said sadly, “you are my
mate, but I’m not yours.
You won’t
let me be.”
“Vegeta…”
he pleaded, tears starting to fill his eyes. “Please
don’t
do this. We are mated.”
“I thought we
were…I was wrong. I want us to be mates. I’ve
opened
myself up to you – something I’ve never done
before. Not even with Bulma.”
Couldn’t Kakarott see how vulnerable Vegeta had made himself
so they would be
even stronger together? He dropped his hand and turned away,
“I was a fool.”
“No…no
you weren’t,” Kakarott whispered, reaching for him.
Vegeta made himself push his
mate away, “If I had known I was going to
lose you like this I never would have let you kiss me,” he
said miserably.
Kakarott dropped to his
knees with a sob, “Are you leaving me?”
He sighed. “I
can’t – I can never leave you now…but I
can’t make you
stay.”
“Vegeta…
Please… I’ll do
better. I’ll get stronger.”
“Mates are
supposed to need each other, Kakarott, but you refuse to
let yourself need me. Anytime you are upset, or your ki starts to drop,
you go
running to the Namek.” He could barely control himself
– he was so frustrated,
so overwhelmed, he only wanted to shout. “Why Kakarott?
I’ve done my best to
change – I’ve told you things…
“And today
– I tried to help you and you were afraid. Afraid!
Of me! Piccolo has actually
killed you, but you don’t seem to care about that. I
can’t hurt you; you’re my
mate. What have I done? How can you be afraid of me?”
“I’m not-“
“I felt
it Kakarott.”
“You
don’t understand.”
“Then make me understand,
damn it!” he shouted. “Talk to me. Tell me
what’s wrong.” He dropped to the
ground, “I don’t want to lose you Kakarott, but
knowing that you are afraid of
me--”
“I’m
not! I’m not afraid of you…I trust you.”
Vegeta shook his head,
“I know what I felt.”
Kakarott grabbed his arm.
“What I’m afraid of is losing you. Not of you – never of you.
I’m terrified
I’ll fail you in some way – that I won’t
be the Saiyan you want. This…being
pregnant is hard, Vegeta;
it’s changing
me. I think different; I act different…it’s taking
away everything I am, making
me weak and helpless.”
Vegeta was willing
– wanted desperately – to accept any honest
explanation Kakarott would give him if it meant they could stay
together. Losing
a mate… he didn’t want to think of how difficult
that would be. “Do you think I
blame you for something beyond your control?” He frowned
inwardly – he had in
the past. Hopefully Kakarott would realize he had changed –
he wasn’t like that
anymore. “I don’t think any less of you for it, if
that is what you are worried
about.”
“I know how much
you value strength …and now I’m weak so much of
the
time… Damn it Vegeta! I hardly have the strength to stand,
let alone fly right
now.”
Vegeta felt a surge of
annoyance, quickly quashed. “Do you think that
is the only reason I am with you, Kakarott? Your strength? Do you
honestly
believe I would leave you if it were gone? Your strength attracted my
attention
when we first met nearly a century ago, but that’s not why I
wanted you for a
mate.” He scowled – how could Kakarott
misunderstand so much? “Do you really
think I am so shallow that I would choose a mate based on strength
alone?”
“No… I
just….”
“You’re
my friend, Kakarott. I was hesitant to let you know how I
really felt because I didn’t want to risk losing that
friendship. But then you
kissed me and I thought it would be alright. Don’t tell me I
was wrong – don’t
tell me I’m losing you over this.”
“You’re
not. Please believe me, Vegeta. I’m just so
confused….”
“Kakarott…we
knew your being a tasan would be a difficult adjustment;
that’s why I didn’t want to make you feel forced
into keeping the baby.” He
sighed sadly; he didn’t want Kakarott to end this pregnancy,
“You still have
time to change your mind…”
“You
don’t really mean that. I know you want this baby as much as
I
do. I just… I don’t want you to regret being with
me… My ki keeps failing me… I
used to be so strong and now look at me.”
“All of these
changes are temporary, Kakarott. Your ki will return
after the baby is born.” He felt his mate’s
frustration and thought he was
beginning to understand what had been happening; Kakarott had held back
because
he was trying to hide what he thought Vegeta would reject him for.
“What if it
doesn’t?!”
Vegeta moved over and sat on
the ground beside his mate. “It still
won’t matter – you are my mate no matter what
happens. But it will return – all
the records say that. During pregnancy tasans are supposed to depend on
their
mate for strength and protection…it’s
normal.” He could feel the relief flowing
through Kakarott – was this really what had caused them so
much trouble?
“You really
don’t mind that I need you so much?”
Vegeta chuckled softly and
drew his mate closer. “I don’t mind at all.
I know this is difficult for you. Kakarott, I want to be your shield
and
support through this. I want you to
need me.”
Kakarott turned and hugged
him back; gone was the sense his mate was
hiding something. “I’m an idiot, aren’t
I?” Kakarott mumbled against his
shoulder.
“It was your turn
– I did it last time.” He grinned to himself at his
mate’s quick laugh.
“Think
we’ll ever get it right?” Kakarott asked, sitting
up enough to
look Vegeta in the eye.
“Eventually…Saiyans
live a long time. We’ve got centuries to screw up
in,” he smirked.
“Piccolo’s
gonna kill us before we’re through,” Kakarott said,
shifting to make himself more comfortable.
Vegeta barked a laugh.
“He can try.” He brushed his fingertips
thoughtfully over his mate’s cheek, enjoying the feel of
Kakarott’s body
against his. “Did he actually carry you like that the whole
way here?”
He felt a wave of
embarrassment from his mate. “Yeah…he was really
pissed at me. Told me if I was going to act like a child he was going
to treat
me like one.”
“You
aren’t a child.”
Kakarott made I wry smile,
“Maybe not, but he was right – I was acting
like one. I should have told you what was wrong instead of trying to
tell
Piccolo. He yelled at me…said if I was old enough to have
sex with you and have
a baby with you I was old enough to talk to you. And then he picked me
up and
carried me here.”
Vegeta shook his head,
“I don’t understand that damn Namek. What the
hell is he up to?” One minute he was trying to take Kakarott
from him and the
next he was practically shoving him at Vegeta. “And where
does he get off
touching you like that?” he snapped.
“Are you going to
hit him for it?” Kakarott said warily.
Vegeta sighed.
“No.” He saw Kakarott’s relieved smile
and scowled,
“But don’t think I haven’t considered
it!”
-------------------------------------
Vegeta smiled to himself as
his mate drew closer to him in his sleep.
He could feel the small churn of the baby’s ki at the
movement, quickly
settling down into a steady glow.
Over the past few days he
and Kakarott had actually talked. He was
right; being a tasan was having a strange effect on his mate. Maybe it
was
because he wasn’t able to train as intensely and as long as
before, but as of
late Kakarott was more introspective. Every little question or doubt
became
magnified until it blocked everything else from his mind.
Vegeta had been surprised at
how many unvoiced fears his mate had. He
had never seemed like the worrying type before, instead facing each day
with
cheerful anticipation; this change had to be triggered by the
pregnancy.
Kakarott even blamed himself
for his sons’ deaths – like it was his
fault for being a Saiyan. Vegeta had gone through the same pain, and
understood, but he had no real regrets – Trunks had been one
of the best things
in his life. How could any of them have foreseen that the cost of their
phenomenal strength was the rapid burn-out of their all-too-human
bodies? At
least he could sympathize with his mate in this – and remind
him that as a
full-blooded Saiyan this child would not suffer the same fate.
The nightmares bothered
Kakarott the least, but disturbed Vegeta the
most. His mate’s dreams of dying seemed much too close to his
own fears… Maybe
to Kakarott it was only a passing mention because he had died so many
times
already, but it created an undercurrent of anxiety for Vegeta. He
couldn’t bear
the thought of losing another person he had gotten so close to
– and to lose
him as a mate… He pushed it to the back of his mind as
another fear needlessly
magnified.
Vegeta took a deep breath,
inhaling his mate’s scent, pushing these
dark thoughts away. Now that some things were out in the open, Kakarott
was already
happier and more relaxed. Based on the way he was pressed against in
Vegeta in
his sleep, he was obviously craving attention, which he was more than
happy to
give. Kakarott’s ki was starting its upward climb again, but
it would be at
least a day before his mate would be able to fly…and until
then…
He grinned. There were
plenty of other ways for them to exercise. He
was determined to prove to his mate that the lack of ki was not going
to be a
problem for either of them. When Kakarott was ready, he was definitely
going to
have to demonstrate until his mate understood – preferably
repeatedly. Maybe
when Kakarott woke up…
TBC
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