Lessons in Life and Love | By : NekoEro Category: Fullmetal Alchemist > Het - Male/Female > Ed/Winry Views: 7554 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0 |
Disclaimer: I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist and make no money from writing this fanfic |
Title: Equivalent Exchange Part 1
Author: NekoEro
Pairing: EdxWinry
Rating: Earlier parts will be PG-13/Teen, later parts will be NC-17/M
Summary: AU Futurefic. Ed has grown far too comfortable in his intimate relationship with Winry and his self-centeredness, coupled with his tendency to be an outright oblivious idiot, leads to their breakup. Will Ed learn what love really is and that there’s more to being a man than just being of legal age and being in a sexual relationship? This is Part 1 of the third and final of three stories in the “Lessons in Life and Love” series.
Disclaimer: Fullmetal Alchemist/Hagane no Renkinjutsushi (鋼の錬金術師) belongs to Hiromu Arakawa, Bones, TBS, Square Enix, Viz, and Funimation. No infringement is intended. Written for entertainment purposes only; I make no money from this fic.
A/N: At long last! After a nearly three year hiatus, here’s the first of three (maybe four parts (I haven’t quite finished the ending yet) of the final story of Lessons in Life and Love. Most likely everyone that was following this fic has long since moved on to other interests, but my personal goal is to complete any of my unfinished past works, regardless of the status of the FMA fandom. I am currently reworking Slippery When Wet and You Can’t Hurry Love, trimming all the fat from them I can, applying what I’ve learned about how to improve my writing since meeting ArielPHF. She’s been a strict taskmaster, showing me just how badly overwritten my past works are, and is teaching me how to write in a more concise style. These revised versions will be posted in my Dreamwidth journal and at my AO3 account, both under the HaganeNeko username. Thanks to the readers who’ve hung in there this long (of which there’s probably only two or three left!), and thanks to ArielPHF and ibshafer for all the help you’ve given me! Also, special thanks to Bay/bay115 for the final betas!
This series Will. Be. Completed. It may take me all of this year (2013) to do it, but it will get done.
Equivalent Exchange Part 1
“How’s your steak, Ed?” Winry asked as she pressed her fork into a baby carrot She took a delicate bite and savored the vegetable’s natural sweetness.
He swallowed and nodded. “Pretty good. How’s your shrimp and pasta?”
Winry nodded back. “Delicious! Everything is fantastic!” She tried the salad made of exotic greens; the garlic-imbued dressing added just the right touch.
Ed seemed pleased at this and went back to his generous cut of beef.
The wine, a white semi-dry variety, was flavorful and reminded her of fruit and flowers on a warm summer day. She resisted the urge to purr in pleasure as she took a second sip. This was possibly the best meal of her life and she wanted to enjoy every bit of sensory delight it gave her. After all, this might never happen again.
Placing her glass back onto the table, Winry glanced at Ed and found him sawing away at his steak. Winry couldn’t help but smile. She was certain the cut of meat wasn’t as tough as he made it appear, but that was Ed. Subtlety had never been his forte’, even if he had made remarkable progress in the art of being a gentleman. Yes, he was still Ed, only nicer and far more attentive than before their turbulent breakup.
Ed was lifting a freed a morsel to his mouth when he noticed Winry watching him. He paused, his eyebrows canting upward with concern.
“Something wrong?”
She shook her head, “Everything’s fine, Edward. That’s the third time you’ve asked me that question,” she scolded in jest. This new version of Ed, the one that actually paid attention to the point of distraction, was a mixed blessing. Granted, she didn’t want him to return to his old, oblivious self again, but there were times she wished he would worry less.
“Sorry,” he mumbled self-consciously. Ed stuffed the meat into his mouth and lowered his gaze to his plate as he chewed.
Enough was enough. Winry couldn’t take any more of this newer, faded version of Edward Elric.
“Ed, stop acting like a beaten puppy all the time,” she admonished, her tone quiet yet warm, “I forgave you a long time ago. You don’t need to tiptoe around me quite so much.” She reached across the table, beckoning him to look at her. When he glanced up Winry could see a mixture of relief, gratitude, and affection in his eyes as he silently thanked her.
In the next instant his cocky grin returned.
“Pretty fancy place, huh?” He dug into his baked potato with renewed gusto.
‘That’s an understatement,’ Winry thought to herself as she took in the opulent surroundings. It felt unnatural to be sitting in such a swanky restaurant, and it was certain this meal would set Ed back more than a few cenz. While this was all very nice she longed for something more informal, for something that was just simply fun.
“Yes…” Winry started cautiously, not sure how to phrase her true thoughts so as not to discourage him. She took another sip of her wine, allowing herself time to compose something in her mind. “It’s very nice. But you didn’t have to do this, Ed, really. I would have been just as happy taking a walk through the shopping district here in Central, or even taking in a movie.”
Ed snorted. “I think the meal would be less expensive than taking you shopping; you’d want every new tool you saw.” He took another bite of his steak and spoke around it as he chewed, “And we went shopping just yesterday, remember?”
Winry glanced down at the new dress Ed had purchased for her at an expensive boutique. Made of a shimmering blue material and tiny sequins, it seemed to flow down over her body like a royal blue waterfall, clinging to her form and accentuating her curves. Low cut in the front and even lower in the back, the knee-length dress was held up upon her shoulders by thin, ropy straps. She had spent the better part of an hour looking through the store searching for the right dress, entirely without Ed’s input. He had waited outside the store, stubbornly maintaining that he “wouldn’t go into a ‘girly’ place” where he would be surrounded by “frilly stuff” and be embarrassed by looking at “girly under things.” That had suited Winry just fine. It allowed her to browse in peace until she found just the right dress and matching shoes.
As if reading her mind, Ed cleared his throat with a timid sound. “Th-that’s a really pretty dress you found yesterday, Winry. It looks great on you.”
Winry returned her attention to him and found him poring over her form. When he realized he had been caught admiring her figure, Ed offered her a tight, nervous smile, which he immediately tried to cover up by taking a gulp from his wine glass. Of course, it was grape juice; Al had filled her in about Ed’s one-night drinking binge and the raging hangover he had suffered the morning after. While not privy to the reason behind Ed’s uncharacteristic overindulgence, she suspected it had something to do with their painful breakup.
“Thanks, Ed. And thanks for buying it for me.” Suddenly shy, Winry tucked her chin under. “It was so expensive. I didn’t expect you to pay for it. You shouldn’t have—“
“I wanted to,” he cut her off, his voice low, warm, “You deserve to have nice things.”
“Edward, I’m grateful, I really am, but how can you afford all this? I don’t expect to be pampered,” she shot back, more with exasperation than anger.
“Stop worrying, will you? I planned for this and saved up so we could come here.” He smiled at her again, that cocksure and sometimes infuriating grin calming her misgivings. “Heh. I thought it would be fun to try this at least once and see how the other half lives. This is a one-shot deal; I don’t think I could afford to come back anytime soon.” Ed attacked his salad, shoving a forkful of greens into his mouth without any formality.
Winry stifled her own laugh at Ed’s behavior; it was like they were kids again, eating ice cream sundaes, or in Ed’s case, drinking a chocolate soda at the little soda shop back in Resembool. There had been much splattering of their treats, especially when the brothers would fling ice cream or soda from the end of their spoons and straws. “Really, Edward,” she admonished, her tone anything but serious as she tried to choke back her laughter. Laughing would only encourage him, but couldn’t she help herself. “Your table manners are terrible!”
“Hey, I paid for the privilege to eat here.” He spun his fork in the air, indicating the sparse scattering of patrons in the restaurant, “It’s not my problem if they can’t handle it.”
Winry sighed, still smiling, “You are one of a kind. And that’s a good thing! I don’t think humankind could handle two of you.”
“Pheh!” Ed nearly sprayed the table with bits of chewed vegetation, “Being one of a kind isn’t a bad thing. You’re one of a kind, too, y’know.”
Winry paused at Ed’s unexpected albeit backhanded praise and blinked in surprise. “You did mean that in a good way, didn’t you?” she asked skeptically once she found her voice.
Ed froze, holding his steak-laden fork mere centimeters from his open mouth. The look he cast her way was a mixture of surprise and caution, as if he were being reprimanded for saying something out of line. Finding the expression on her face was neutral, he nodded ever so slightly.
“Of course I did.” Ed placed his fork back onto his plate and leaned forward, giving her his undivided attention. “Win, you’re the best automail engineer I know, you’re smart, you’re the most patient person I know—I mean, you’ve put up with the crap I’ve handed you all your life, yet you still gave me a second chance when I really screwed up.” He rolled his eyes to the side and blushed, “And you’re so pretty. No…beautiful.” His warm gaze met hers again, “You’re one of a kind, Win. Because of all those things, and because you also care about me despite all stupid things I do.”
She beamed back at him. “Thanks, Ed. And don’t you forget the last thing you just said.” She shook a finger at him, emphasizing her point.
Ed lifted his fork again, “Believe me, I won’t forget. Not ever again.” He shoved the hunk of steak into his mouth and chewed enthusiastically.
“We’ll see, Ed,” Winry thought to herself as she resumed eating her dinner.
We’ll see…
%%%%%
Little more was spoken of their relationship during the remainder of their meal. They talked only of casual things, such as Al’s remarkable recovery, Granny Pinako’s latest project, and of Ed’s retirement from the reformed Amestris military. It was a comfortable, easy exchange, without harsh words or accusations, and the pair simply took the time to enjoy each other’s company without any more expectations other than being out on a date.
When the dessert cart came by, Winry longingly eyed a decedent concoction of chocolate cake layered with warm fudge sauce and chocolate gelato.
Ed noticed her interest. “If you want it, take it, Win.”
Winry frowned, “Really, Ed, I shouldn’t. I’m full now.”
He pointed at a wedge of apple pie drizzled with caramel sauce, “I’m going to have that, so go ahead. It’s no big deal if you can’t finish it, but we should at least try the desserts here.” He winked. “I bet it’s as good as anything Ms. Gracia can make.”
“Doubtful,” she countered with a wry grin. “Okay, I’ll have that,” Winry instructed the waiter, pointing at the hill of chocolate.
Once they were served their choices, the young couple hesitated long enough to assess the challenge of finishing the sweets before finally indulging.
After sampling, Winry eagerly dove into her dessert, taking in a spoonful that contained all three elements of her desert, and verbally expressed her delight with a quiet hum of approval. She took the time to savor each bite, ignoring the fact she was already overly full, only hesitating to remove the coating of fudge from her spoon by licking it away. On a childlike impulse she traced her index finger through the thread of fudge decorating the plate and sucked away the sticky syrup, slowly withdrawing the digit through closed lips. She repeated the action and let her eyes slide shut, reveling in the moment and the sinfully rich taste on her tongue.
The sound of a utensil clattering onto a plate startled her and Winry snapped her eyes open to see Ed sitting stock-still, holding an empty hand in mid-air. His eyes were fixated on the finger exiting her lips and a drop of sweat trickled down from his temple as his larynx bobbed in a forced swallow. His jaw dropped to leave his mouth gaping.
She was about to ask him for the umpteenth time what was wrong when she noticed the molten heat deep within his liquid gold eyes, his pupils dilated almost impossibly large. Her body’s response was immediate; her pulse quickened and a throbbing settled into her very core, which rapidly intensified into a primal ache that longed to be filled.
I forgot how much I missed him looking at me like that…
Without realizing it, Winry leaned forward, drawn to Ed’s warmth and sexual magnetism. He answered in like, ignoring the table between them, and the pair was on the verge of rising from their chairs when they realized what was occurring between them. They tore their gazes away, suddenly embarrassed over the intense and very erotic moment.
Ed retrieved his fork to scoop up a chunk of pie and shovel it into his mouth. He chewed mechanically, looking anywhere except at Winry. His face glowed crimson, but Winry wasn’t sure if his reaction had been caused by embarrassment or arousal. She now found her own dessert fascinating and dipped her head down, trying to hide the flush rising in her own cheeks. It had been months since she had experienced such a strong reaction. She had spent so much time suppressing these feelings, effectively squelching them by reminding herself of Ed’s past indiscretions.
Much to Ed’s credit, though, he was successfully fighting the hormonal surge as much as her. Even though his face was as equally red, his expression told her just how contrite he felt.
She took another spoonful of the dessert, but it no longer held the appeal it once had. The rich chocolate now tasted flat and Winry forced herself to swallow it. She was still fighting with the unexpected tide of emotions when Ed’s nonchalant voice broke into her self-imposed wall of silence.
“Ssooo…W-What would you like to do next, Winry?”
Winry chanced a surreptitious look through the curtain of her bangs and found Ed eating as if nothing had occurred between them. She knew this was only a front. Over the last few months Winry had become quite adept at reading Ed’s body language, and while he appeared at ease, the way he huddled over ever so slightly spoke volumes about what was going on below his belt. Despite this, he retained his composure and seemed to have successfully beaten his libido into submission.
She carefully cleared her throat before trying to answer. If he had asked her this question ten minutes ago, the answer would have come to her much easier.
“U-um…” Her tongue felt as sluggish as her brain.
Much to her relief Ed jumped in, and it wasn’t with the expected lewd suggestion.
However, it did have the potential to end up that way.
“You mentioned you’d like to see a movie,” he ventured, “There’s one we could go to, about a guy that goes to another country….”
Winry didn’t hear the rest of the movie’s synopsis; instead, visions of her and Ed in a dark theater, caused a shiver to race down her spine and her body to glow with…expectation? She slipped into a fantasy of her and Ed making out in the theater, which in turn could lead to much more intimate contact later in her hotel room.
‘No…can’t think like that, I can’t let that happen. As much as I’d like it to, I’m so afraid Ed will go back to being selfish again. How do I know he’s really changed, how can I be sure?’
“Winry? Are you okay?”
Ed’s voice brought her back with a start and she looked up, wild-eyed, at the young man seated across the table from her.
“Um…I think I’d like to go back to my room. I’m not feeling very well right now,” she said timidly. That certainly couldn’t have sounded as lame as she thought.
“Winry?” There was no mistaking the fear in Ed’s voice or expression. The lustful look in his eyes was now replaced by confusion and anxiety. His brows pinched together and he frowned.
“I-I think I just ate too much, that’s all. I’d like to go lay down for awhile.” It was not the complete truth, and she was sure even Ed had seen through her white lie.
His pie now forgotten, Ed nodded meekly and placed the fork onto his plate. “Okay.”
Concern mixed with guilt filled her. ‘He’s blaming himself. I can’t let him think it’s entirely his fault, because it isn’t. He’s been a perfect gentleman. For months he’s been the perfect boyfriend. He’s been very attentive, and has never done more than kiss me goodnight when I‘m sure it’s been torture for him to hold back.’
She forced a smile onto her face, trying to reassure him. Winry couldn’t let the date end on such a flat note; surely there was something fun they could do and still keep things platonic between them. Hadn’t she read something about a festival being held in a park near downtown Central, not far from where they currently were?
“Maybe,” she started out sheepishly, “tomorrow night we can go to the fall festival, the one set up in Wilson’s Park, next to the river,” she offered. The glowing smile that spread over Ed’s face lightened the mood immediately.
“Great idea! I’ll take you back to your hotel so you can rest up and get back to feeling better.” The young alchemist flagged down the waiter and Winry let out a relieved sigh. Going to a public event the following evening would give her the space she needed now, and help keep things companionable and most definitely non-sexual the next time they were together. She wasn’t sure if she wanted to step back into intimacy with Ed just yet. Even though he had gone out of his way to gain her trust, she still didn’t feel at ease with the idea of being more amorous with him just yet.
Ed politely helped Winry to her feet after he had paid the bill, helped her on with her wrap, and offered her his arm. Luckily, the flush of excitement at his touch was subdued as she slipped her hand into the crook of his elbow, but it was still there, nonetheless. She was still lost for words as he led her out of the restaurant. Why was this so difficult, why did loving Ed need to be so complex and confusing? Winry felt conflicted, unsure of how to sort out her mixed feelings.
“Let go of the past and trust your heart. It will tell you what to do.”
Those were words of advice Gracia Hughes had given her earlier that day when Winry had expressed fears about being involved with Ed again. Winry had visited Gracia to catch up on the latest events in each other’s lives, and also because she needed someone to talk to about her reservations over where her and Ed’s relationship was heading. Since she considered the older woman a surrogate mother, it only seemed natural to turn to her for advice.
Still, even with Gracia’s advice, Winry felt somewhat conflicted.
The cool air was sobering, calming her inner turmoil as they stepped outside. She found herself seeking the warmth that radiated from Ed’s body and nestled against his side. Ed threw her a startled glance and smiled. He slipped an arm around her shoulders and pulled her closer in a protective gesture. Winry couldn’t help but smile back, and the couple started off in the direction of downtown Central.
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