Moonlight | By : Maddiesan Category: Dragon Ball Z > Het - Male/Female Views: 5737 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0 |
Disclaimer: I do not own Dragonball Z or its characters. I make no money out of this fiction. |
A/N; Sorry the pace seems a little slow right now. I promise it'll pick up soon!
Moonlight
Chapter 7: Truth
Bura was true to her word; she did not speak.
How long had it been? Probably an hour - at least. And yet, she had not spoken a single word to him. He refused to be the one to break the silence, although he really should be. Still, the rage radiating from her was enough to keep him away and silent. Plus, was there truly anything either of them could say that would fix this situation? He already knew his life was going to be miserable from now on. Even if she did decide to speak to him, it would not make a difference. It was done and they could not take it back. She voiced how she felt about him and that too… would not change.
He did deserve it; it was the price he had to pay for his mistakes.
Really, it was not the worst thing. He was alive.
His best friend hated him, Vegeta probably wanted to kill him, and the woman he was stuck with forever would probably rather chop his head off.
But considering everything…it was better than being dead right?
Bura was sitting on her bed, surrounded by the pinkness of her comforter, a white pillow between her legs while she hid her face in it. She was looking everywhere, except in his direction. At least, he did not think she was; it was hard to tell with the way her blue locks were fanning around her face, covering her aqua orbs. He was the exact opposite; all he was doing was staring at her. He observed her tiny feet, her fading pink toenails, her slender fingers, her luscious lips; he noticed it all, even if he did not want to be looking at any of it. Somehow, it made him feel better. It almost chased away some of the heavy loneliness inside of him.
So he kept on looking.
And she kept on wishing he would look the fuck away.
Why did he have to stare at her? Why did she feel like the only sane person in this house? How could they even talk about this? And what would be the point? She did not want his forced attentions, she did not want to be with someone who had to be with her. There were nothing to each other, not anymore, and she intended for things to stay that way. She had her pride, her dignity. She wanted to keep what was left of it. Because of that, she ignored the jabs in her heart, the ones telling her it would feel so much better if she just got a little closer to him. She wanted to say it was all because he fucking bit her but she knew better.
Before all this turned into a mess, he was a great source of comfort for her. Goten was not the smartest man alive but he was kind - and goofy. Nobody could put a smile on her face like he could. She often found herself seeking his presence when her mood was less than great. Two minutes with him and she was laughing. It was a gift, one that made her feel for him even harder. Not that any of that mattered anymore. She did not need more reasons to be in love with him - she needed more reasons to hate him. And that was quite a arduous task, hence why she would refuse to look at him.
And he was sitting there, like a lost puppy, respecting her decision.
It was better this way. She did not know what she would say if he spoke.
Where would they even begin?
Her father even said the urges would not make them do anything. She was marked now. He had her and he did not need her as badly anymore. What a typical male attitude. Though she supposed it would only complicate things further if they kept on sleeping with each other. Plus, he barely got over the last time they had sex. If it happened for a third time, she was fairly certain he might have a heart attack. Though they had yet to sleep together without — being influenced by something else. Neither of them could hide behind the full moon anymore. If it happened - he could not deny it, pretend he was disgusted with himself.
And she could no longer say she did not have any other choice.
Yup. It was better if each of them just - stayed on their side of the room.
She snuggled closer to her pillow, a heavy sigh threatening to slip her lips.
And it was the first little mistake she made.
"B?"
It was not a word! She was not trying to talk - or have a discussion with him. She was sighing because this situation was the absolute worst and there was no way out of it. If she touched him, it would kill her, psychologically. She could not put up with this, she could not be with someone who did not love her. If she ignored him, it killed her physically and turned her into a complete zombie who had no will, no energy to live. Neither of those choices were very pleasing. The only thing she could do was hurt herself no matter what she decided. At least one of those choices allowed her to keep her pride and …And… she would pick that one.
He saw the flash of hesitation in her eyes but she remained silent. He did not even mean to speak; it slipped him when she sighed. He felt her sadness, he knew what laid in her heart; he was plagued by the same troubles. Breathing was becoming harder and harder; he wanted to stop, give up. That option was much more pleasing than what they were doing now. Everyone was expecting something out of them and there was nothing they could do. He wish he could fix it, he wish he could see her as he was supposed to but he could. She was a kid, someone he treated like a sister. He could not flip a switch and change his feelings like that.
"Talk to me," he almost begged.
"I have nothing to say."
"We can't ignore this."
"Maybe you can't."
He sighed, his frustration rising. Doing nothing went against everything he believed in. He could not stand here and watch her suffer, just like he could no longer bear the pain in his chest. Yes, it was his burden to carry but - one day… would it be too much to bear? And if he felt this bad, then it was certain that she felt the same way. He refused to let it go on any longer. However, he had yet to find a way to fix the situation that would not go against what she wanted. And it was always about what Bura wanted. That thought left a bittersweet taste in his mouth.
"You look like hell."
"You look worse."
She did not intend to be mean; the words were slipping past her lips all on their own. It was easier to hate him than to love him. Surely, even he could understand that right? Her chest rumbled while she inhaled deeply. This was not the life she pictured for herself and this was surely not the way she thought she would get him. It was all wrong and it was too late to fix any of it. Anything he would say to her, anything he would do to her, it would all be because of the bond. How was she supposed to live her life knowing the one person she wanted only loved her because he had to?
"It won't happen again," she began, finally raising her head to meet his eyes. "We won't do that again."
"B, you look like hell. I look like hell. That's not gonna go away."
"Oh yeah, then what do you suggest we do? Fuck like bunnies?"
"You're the genius, you tell me!"
Great, now he was lashing out at her. He ran his fingers through his hair, feeling the dampness of his scalp along the edge of his fingertips. This was not how he wanted to do this. They were supposed to be talking, not fighting. Then again, it appeared it was the way they did things now. Yelled, blackmailed and — that other thing he did not want to talk about.
"I don't know what we're supposed to do," she admitted, her eyes locked with his. Yes, she was the genius but this time, she did not have a solution to the problem at hand. She knew she did not want to sleep with him - at least not when it did not mean anything. She remembered when her father said the bond only took place because the both of them wanted this, but he had to be confused. Goten did not want this. He did have feelings for her but they used to be the ones a brother has for a sister. Not real love.
"I'm - we can't do that again."
"I know."
Every time he thought about it, he felt sick to his stomach. It was not because she was not a beautiful woman - of course she was. No one even came close to her; she was her mother's daughter. However, it was not supposed to be like this between them, he was not supposed to want her. He felt lower than low thinking about how he took advantage of her - full moon or not. Her body, her moans; all of it was forever engrave in his mind and - and it should disgust him but it did not. The voice had been like a melody, her skin had been so soft, so tempting. The fact that he was thinking about it now made him a horrible person.
And now it was worst because every time she was sad, every time she looked at him, hoping he could fix it, there was a tightening in his chest.
He should be able to let go of her. It should not be that difficult. She was important to him, he had known Bura her entire life. But, she was Trunks' sister. He should be able to get up and leave her behind. And he could not. If he saw her shed tears because of him, he would never forgive himself.
"Maybe there are other things we can do."
She shifted her glance, remained silent, but waited for him to continue.
"We've been staying apart. That's not helping. We could - spend time together."
Not like they used to though. He could no longer watch a movie with her while she threw popcorn at his head. He could not tell her stupid jokes and watch her laugh. He could not even hug her hello or kiss her goodbye. The whole relationship they had, it was gone. This mess was all that was left and they needed to scavenge what they could from it. Walking away was the easiest way out, the cowardly option. One if own father opted for more than once. But he was not that man. Because the one who helped him, guided him was not Goku - it was Gohan. And Gohan never walked away.
And so, as hard as it was to stay, as much as he would like to cut all contact with her… like he thought about…he could not.
He had to stay. He had to do what he could, no matter how insignificant that was.
"I don't wanna see you," she finally said. Her eyes were narrowed as she raised a hand to tuck loose strands of blue hair behind her ear.
"Yeah, I remember. I'm beneath you."
She almost flinched at his words. She did say that and she did mean it to hurt him. Although, now that he was looking at her with those sad eyes, she almost wished she could take it back. It was rude and cruel of her but - he did not want her and she wanted him to hurt like she hurt. And not because of the bond. She wanted him to hurt because he could not have what he wanted so desperately. Then perhaps he would understand why she wanted nothing to do with him. He lost nothing, his heart was not broken. All he felt was shame and disgust. The price he had to pay was much smaller than hers.
"You are."
"Cut the crap, B."
The sudden rudeness of his words shook her for a second, throwing her for a loop. Goten was sweet; he was not this. "I don't know what you mean."
"We were friends. We used to hang out all the time. You never thought I was beneath you." He knew he was. Of course he was. And it was not about the whole third class saiyan thing. Bura was beautiful, smart, funny - she was everything. She deserved someone who could give her…everything. He was not that person. Even if he had felt something for her, it would not have been right.
"Because we were friends, this is different."
"Why is it different?"
"BECAUSE!" God, she was supposed to be smart was she not? Why was it that when it came to him, she was babbling idiot? She should have answers to his questions and yet none came to mind. She could not lie, not when she felt like this. Her whole body, her whole mind was demanding his presence. What could she do? Turn him down and walk away? She tried that and it turned out to be a disaster. She was miserable without him and she was miserable with him. There was no winning this little game. There was nothing she could do; her own self was against her.
"You were my friend. Then you weren't."
"So I'm only good enough to be your friend."
"Not anymore."
"You know, I didn't do this alone."
He could take a lot of the blame, he did not care. After all, he did feel like he was fully responsible for all of this. But he was not. He did take her that night when she showed up in his room. He laid her beneath him and took away her innocence. Still, it was her who showed up - not out of her own will of course. And then she was at his apartment again, blackmailing him. And then she came again, crying. She came to him and he was too weak to let her go. It was not her fault but it was not entirely his fault either. She could not hate him for everything. She could not resent him for not sending her away.
"Oh it's mine?"
If it was up to her, it would not have happened like this.
"It's - an unfortunate situation. Alright, it sucks but there isn't anything we can do about it now, it's too late." He rose to his feet and marched in her direction. He felt this pull like he had to be near her. He walked until he was at the edge of the bed, standing beside her. "B., I don't wanna see you like this."
She was saiyan, she was strong. She was the one who never trained but did not have to - she was just strong. She was not meant to have dark circles beneath her eyes, sunken cheeks or pale skin. Bura was always lively, a rosiness to her cheeks and a smile on her face, even when she frowned like her father did. He felt like he took her smile away and he hated that. He was always the one who made her smile, not the one who made her miserable. Goten desired nothing more than to change this awful situation. He wished for her smile, for her happiness.
"I'm fine," she said, tilting her head to the left. He looked at her as though she was wounded and she did not want that; it was insulting.
It was not the most important thing in her life. Yes, she had feelings for him, yes, this utterly sucked - but he was not in charge of her whole life. She did not spend every second thinking about him and eventually, with time, she would get over him. She would not stay stuck on Goten Son her whole life, bond or not.
For the first time since that night, he touched her. His fingers slid across her face as he cupped her cheek with his hand. Part of her wanted to lean into his touch but she kept herself in check. She stayed away, barely letting his palm touching her flesh. He ignored her obvious attempt at preventing him from touching her and he used his hold to turn her head, forcing her to look at him. "B, this isn't going away."
"I want you to go away."
He kneeled on the bed, bringing his body much closer to his. The closeness was enough to relieve the aching in his heart. Already, he could feel the darkness lifting. He was right, they did not need to sleep together for it to work. If they just stayed close, saw each other once in a while, they would be fine. She would have her life and he would have his. Because as much as it was his duty to honor his responsibilities, he also had to let her be free to have her own life. He was not the life she wanted, that was clear and it was best this way. He never thought about being with her either.
He moved his head forward, touching their foreheads. "B, I'm not letting you go. Yell at me, hate me, but this is how we have to do this."
She was the smart rational one - he was the goofy silly guy next door. Except, unlike her, he did not have feelings clouding his judgment. He could tell what was the right thing because his heart did not ache for her and he did not feel betrayed. She felt the tears pooling in her eyes and she swallowed hard, focusing on keeping them at bay. Even now, despite the heart wrenching heart break echoing in her heart, pounding in her head, she felt better. Everywhere he touched, everywhere she could feel him, it soothed the pain away and filled in the voids inside of her.
He was right and she hated that he was.
"Fine," she said so quietly, it was barely a whisper.
He heard it and he forced a smile. He remained that way a second longer, before he tore himself away and forced himself to sit beside her.
"But we are never -"
"Never," he confirmed.
She nodded, lowering her eyes, as a last attempt to prevent the tears from spilling. This was it, this was her life. She had to spend time with the man she loved him. Which would be great - if he loved her back.
But her life was never going to be that simple was it.
-M-
"So?"
"So what?"
"What happened."
"We didn't have sex, if that's what you're asking."
Trunks shut his eyes, his mouth crisping. There was no way he would ever get rid of those mental images now. "That's not what I meant."
"Then ask Goten," she said as she pushed some more of her food around her white porcelain plate. She was not hungry. She had a feeling her appetite would take a while before returning. At least she was out of her bedroom and moving around. It had to be a good thing right?
"He almost flew out of here. And he won't pick up my calls."
Things were still tensed between Goten and him. Heck, he even felt awkward just sitting beside his sister. It would take some adjusting to and he knew he needed time. They all needed time. His father managed to explain this whole thing to him a bit better but it hardly made it any easier to accept the situation. His best friend and his little sister. Then again, he guessed that no one would ever be okay for his sister. He would always have a problem with it, which was why he was glad she never really dated. And now, well she jumped a couple of steps. A lot of them. With Goten.
Alright, he needed to stop thinking about this.
"Then take a hint," she harshly replied.
"Hey, I care about you two alright."
"Then let us deal with it."
"Last time you dealt with it, you both almost killed yourself you were so miserable. You can't be trusted to do the right thing."
"And how do you know what the right thing is?"
Nobody knew what to do and Trunks was no different. He was not the one stuck in this situation and he did not get to have a say about what Goten and her did. He could be concerned fine, but he was not allowed to judge them. He did not lose control, he was not the one tossed into a situation he did not want. It was easy to be on the other side. From where she stood, things were not as simple.
"You two have to fix this."
"That's what we're doing."
"No, you're avoiding each other."
"Both of you shut up."
As their father's voice rumbled through the room, both of them stiffened. He was the one with all of the answers and yet, he barely gave any that she liked. She wanted to be mad at him for not telling her about this. If he warned her, they could have avoided all of this. Then again, how was he to know she had feelings for Goten? And her father was not one who shared, especially not about his saiyan heritage. He spoke to her, he was more open with her than most but not that much. Also, being mad at him would not really help her. He would simply stop talking and not give her any information.
Plus he was her father, it was much harder to be mad at him than it was Goten.
"Did you talk to the boy?"
He had been too far to listen in on their conversation. Despite his son's stupid warning he knew that them getting physical was a possibility and so, he had no desire to be near his daughter's bedroom. He might need to keep the idiot alive but it did not mean he appreciated all of this. If he had to hear those things, he would have lost it. He wanted to be kept updated but he did not need all of the details. Although, they clearly needed to be supervised; they were avoiding the issue at hand.
"Yes, dad."
"And?"
"And what?"
Immediately, a blush covered her cheeks. This was not exactly the kind of thing she wanted to talk about with her father. Even though Goten and her did not decide to do anything improper…it was not easy to speak about it.
"We're gonna - spend time together."
Trunks raised an eyebrow, ready to comment on her answer but when his father threw a glare his way, he decided it was much better for him to keep his mouth shut.
"And?"
"And that's it. This is about Goten and me, why does everyone keep butting in?"
"Goten and you?"
How in the world did none of them hear her coming? All three turned their heads in direction of Bulma, sweat dripping down their necks as their minds overworked, trying to come up with a lie. What were they supposed to tell her? The truth? Trunks did not handle it well. Her father only put up with it because he clearly did not have a choice - and he was keeping a few things from her. Her mother… it was hard to predict how exactly she would react to this. She was not saiyan and though she had seem a lot of crap… she was human and a lot of this was - well wrong.
Bulma rested her hands on her hips and leaned forward. They were keeping something from her. She had long mastered the skill of deciphering Vegeta's facial expression and she knew he felt guilty about something. Since when did her own daughter not even talk to her?
"What's going on?"
"Mom, you don't wanna know."
"Oh I think I do."
"Woman -"
"Don't woman me."
She took a step forward, ignoring Vegeta and Trunks' presence completely. Instead, she chose to focus her attention solely on Bura. Her daughter would tell her. They had a good mother-daughter relationship despite the fact that Bulma had her…later on in life. They spoke about boys, shopping, make up and inventions. Unlike Trunks, she had no interest in training which helped them build a deeper bond. What could be the one thing that would keep her daughter away from her? She did try to stay out of it. Bura had sulked in her bedroom for days. She thought she might be going through something and left her alone. Although, the longer it dragged her, the more worried she became and now she could not put the lid back on.
She needed to know what made her daughter so miserable.
Bura sunk her teeth in her bottom lip, uncertain if she should lie. It was not as though this situation was going away any time soon. They were stuck and eventually…it would get out. It was clear by the way it affected them physically that they would be able to keep it a secret forever. Her mother would be much angrier if she found out later. Right? Bura sighed and let her arms fall to her sides. Her reaction could not be any worst than Trunks… at least she hoped so.
"I - I slept with Goten."
Bura watched her mother's eyes widened.
"And he marked me."
"Mated," Vegeta corrected, knowing Bulma would understand.
This time, it was her lips that parted to indicate her surprise. She tried to let the information process but she was somewhat unable to wrap her mind around it. She knew the importance of the bond; Vegeta and her discussed it at length and it took a long time before they took that step. Then again, it took them a long time to get anywhere in their relationship. Still, she knew it was a serious commitment that could not be undone. Why would her daughter and Goten do this? She never saw them act as anything than brother and sister. Although, she did notice her daughter had somewhat of a crush on Goten when she was young but…
"It was the full moon," Trunks provided. "It affected them."
"You didn't want this?" she finally asked.
Bura shook her head, her heart swelling in pain. She wanted it but she did not want it like this. However, it was hopeless. She might as well say she did not want it.
Bulma saw the crush look in her daughter's eyes and nodded. There were a million things she wanted to say - scream even. She wanted to understand how all of it unraveled but she also knew one thing; her daughter did not want any of that at the moment. It was not even what she wished for - ever. Clearly Vegeta and Trunks knew about this. And they were men. There was something about this they would never understand, maybe even things Bura would never share with any of them. She would ask her questions later, she would let her head explode later. For now, she would give her daughter what she needed.
Bulma closed the distance between them and wrapped her arms around Bura. She softly kissed the top of her head, tousling her aqua locks. "Come on, I think we need some girl time," she said as she tugged her up.
And those were the first comforting words Bura had heard in a long time.
-M-
Now he was the stalker.
Goten was pacing not too far from Capsule corp. He probably looked like a crazy person stalking the building but he did not care. He tried to go home but he could not. His brother called him - and Goten had to lie. His mother then called to check up on him and he had to do the same thing. Then it was too much and he left. If he was gone and left his cellphone at home, he could ignore them and pretend he was not keeping something from them. He knew Trunks and Vegeta ended up understanding the situation but it was not the same thing. Vegeta was - well he was Vegeta and Trunks was raised in a different environment.
His mother would beat him to death with a frying pan if he learned what he did.
She followed a more traditional path where he had to get married and have children and - well, he was not supposed to do all of those things with a seventeen years old. He was supposed to find a woman his own age. It would be more than her being mad - she would be disappointed and he let her down enough times. He was not like his brother, he was not smart, he was not a scholar. Yes, his mother's rules were not as strict with him and she even trained him but that was mostly because his dad was not around and she had learned that there was nothing she could do to escape this life.
It did not mean she wanted that life for him.
He tried, he really did but it was not him. He got bored in class, always feeling an itching for training. It would not have mattered if he forced himself down that path; it was not for him. And so, he was not like her, he did not have his whole family behind him. He was alone in this. Usually he had Trunks by his side but that friendship was on pause for the next little while. Trunks would be with his sister…and that was fine.
Goten felt lonely and he had no way to deal with it. He was losing all of his bearings at once and she felt like the greatest loss. Did he ever feel more than friendship for her? He scrambled his brain, trying to find an answer but none came to mind. He never thought he did. Her smile always made him smile. Her scent was always so sweet. Her eyes sparkled and hanging out with her felt natural. But that was not what love felt like was it? He had been in love before and it had never been anything like that.
He sighed, resigning himself. He turned around, making sure nobody was around, and began flying. He kept going until he reached her balcony, and then, he landed. The curtains were not pulled back and if he looked through the glass doors, he could see her carefully tucked in her bed with her mother by her side. Bulma. Bulma knew. Of course she knew. It was not like they could keep it from her forever since Trunks and Vegeta found out.
Goten was not sure what he hoped to accomplish by coming here. He was not going to barge into her room, it was not his right. What was he doing? Looking at her? Stalking her? He did not even have an answer to his own behaviour. He leaned towards the window, watching her from closer. This was enough. This soothed most of the pain away. Although it made him feel even more pathetic.
There was no solution to their problem was there?
"It's cold out."
Goten snapped his head to the left only to see Trunks sticking his head out of his window.
"Yeah."
"Don't be stupid. Come inside."
"I'll just go home." He could barely look at Trunks; he felt like he had been caught doing something he was not supposed to do. Well, no he was not supposed to be stalking her. They agreed they would spend time together - not hang out in the middle of the night.
"Stay."
Goten and him barely had a chance to speak and yes he was mad and his head wanted to explode but he could not throw away years of friendship. He meant to wait, to give himself more time but now - he could not. He had rarely seen Goten look so sad. He looked like a sad little puppy, watching its owner from far away. Clearly, there was more going on than Trunks realized. He did not know if it was all the full moon's fault or if Goten felt something towards his little sister prior to this whole mess but - he did not want to know yet. For now, he wanted to have his buddy back. No matter how much information he had to ignore.
"We're still friends."
And Goten joined him inside.
-M-
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