Executive Orders | By : smartycat Category: Gundam Wing/AC > Het - Male/Female > Heero/Relena Views: 4060 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0 |
Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing/AC, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story. |
Chapter Summary: In which Heero and Relena talk things out and start setting things to rights.
Executive Orders
~An Out of Control Sequel~
by
Smarty Cat
smartycat9383@yahoo.com
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Part 7 -- Need
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Relena sighed, shoving her sweat-soaked bangs out of her face, before clicking her tongue to urge the tall bay beside her into a steady walk. Though Wufei had expressly prohibited her from riding the horses in her usual jaunts across the palace grounds, they still needed exercise. And she desperately needed her time with them, familiar and nonjudgmental creatures that they were. After a protracted argument that had endedh a h a pair of spurs that she never used on the horses flying remarkably close to Wufei's head, he had agreed that no one was likely to attack her at the palace stables due to their relative anonymity and central location on the grounds.
She led the bay into a small round paddock and removed the lead shank from his halter, replacing it with the lounge line coiled in her free hand. The horse, accustomed to this, stayed where she hadt hit him as she strode to the center of the round pen and looped his lead around her waist. She urged him into a trot with her voice, watching the dark figure that materialized in the cooling shade of the barn and noting the departure of a black and green garbed man for the main compound.
The early morning was Wufei's time to get much needed rest and Relena's time to mentally prepare herself for the day ahead. The other Preventers who watched over her in his absence switched shifts on the hour at Wufei's request so that there would be no time for them to become complacent. Because heaven knew Wufei was never complacent, she thought with an amused roll of her eyes.
She idly wondered who it would be this time since Sally was not due to collect her to prepare for the press conference for another two hours . . . for the twenty-fourth had finally arrived. Relena had met more Preventers in the past three weeks than she had in her first two years ase Foe Foreign Minister. Une and Wufei seemed determined to give every Preventer on the force a chance to guard her personally, which could only lead to an inevitable meeting with a certain Gundam pilot, but Relena refused to dwell on that distressing thought. She wanted it to happen, didn't she? She had decided to act to fix the problem and would take the appropriate measures when the time came. She simply hoped she would know what the appropriate measures were. And at least this guard was suitably discrete, keeping a safe but comfortable distance and not attempting to pressure her to leave the stables as had become common once the third hour mark was reached.
***
Heero leaned against the stable door, content for the time being to let the minutes of his guardianship tick away without a word to the young woman in the ring. What did one say to a woman after having sex with her and then gravely insulting her, anyway? He supposed an apology would be the proper starting point followed by an extended period of groveling to return to her good graces, but pondering the theory was much simpler than putting it into practice. It went against his nature to grovel, and he was not sure that the simplest form of an apology would suffice.
He was starting to realize that it warprirprisingly difficult to admit to someone else that he had been wrong although he had admitted it to himself days ago, due in part no doubt to the malicious and gloating blaze in his superior's eyes. Wufei had taken to decorating the staff break rooms with montages of Relena, both professional photos and press clippings as well as relaxed, candid shots. So they would remember what they were there for, Wufei had said, and Heero had found it increasingly difficult to remain indifferent when her intensely blue eyes shone on him from the walls wherever he went. The pictures had had a similar effect on the other Preventers and office staff: they grew fiercely protective of her and vigorously defended her reputation against the slanders she increasingly received from the press. Interestingly enough, they generally did this by insisting that she was in a monogamous relationship with the Director of Security. Wufei and Relena? The idea was laughable, and he had had the sneaking suspicion it was intended to make him jealous. Jealousy, however, had never been Relena's style.
Then Wufei had gone one step farther in a move that solidified Heero's knowledge that his superior's new supportive campaign was directed intentionally and specifically at him. Wufei began distributing sexual education pamphlets to all staff members under twenty-five. In a move completely unexpected of the widely known conservative security director, he held mandatory presentations during which he discussed sexuality and the risks that the female Preventers especially might face in their chosen line of work. With his eyes locked on Heero's and Sally nodding at his side he announced in ringing tones that if a virginal Preventer woman experienced an isolated occurrence of unexpected but minor vaginal bleeding or discomfort in the region of her genitals after a particularly grueling maneuver it was nothing to worry about--the physical rigors of her occupation had simply broken her hymen. Wufei then ticked off a list of activities that could have already done the job, among them horseback riding and several other athletic activities that Heero knew Relena had indulged in during her school years.
Heero had not heard the rest of the lecture due to all of his attention being suddenly directed to the horrible sinking feeling of his stomach. Relena had always been an avid horsewoman and had looked forward to their equitation lessons in school far more enthusiastically than most of the other girls. He had overheard her explaining to a classmate that she had been riding since before she could walk. He knew she loved horses, knew the physical effects riding could have on the female body, knew that she had always exhibited a remarkable disinterest in most men. So why had he said the things he had?
There was also the tiny issue of his own hurt to be considered, the feelings that he had been used and discarded once again, but after a lifetime of acting as someone else's tool he easily pushed aside its relevance to the current matter. Acknowledging his insecurities had never been an option in his life and attempting to face them had proven to be painful. All his weaknesses, all his faults, came wrapped in golden hair and soft skin, and they had faced him with accusing sea blue eyes, and he had lashed out. It was ironic timing that she had been there, convenient and already vulnerable, when the rumors of her supposed infidelities (Infidelities to whom? She was not married, had no steady boyfriend, and he had no claim on her.) struck him with sudden bitterness and loathing. Though she had used him, she was not his, and he had wanted her to suffer for that as he had suffered with his uncertainties. Righteous indignation and self-loathing made for an interesting mix of emotions.
The troubled young man watched as the object of his thoughts reversed the bay's direction and sent it trotting in a counterclockwise circle around her. He shoved his hands into his pockets and pushed away from the doorframe. She must be nearly done with that one then since he knew that all the horses Relena kept were retired racers, and she devoted the first months oeir eir arrival to building up the muscles on the right side of their bodies to equal those on the left. If she was working the bay on its left side then she was about to end the training session on a positive and relaxing note for the horse.
He said her name softly, tasting the syllables on his tongue and ignoring the sharp twinge in his chest, when she called the horse to her and offered it a treat from the front pocket of her shorts. Midmorning sunlight gleamedthe the golden expanse of her bare legs and tangled in her ponytail, glittering where it was caught in the damp strands. Even relaxed and informal, looking like a normal girl instead of a powerful world leader, she was amazingly, classically beautiful. A pain of longing that was as much mental as it was physical struck him when she laid her cheek against the horse's forehead and ran a ping ing hand down the length of its jaw. He wished for the simplicity and surety he imagined the horse must feel as it basked secure in the knowledge of her lo--affection.
And he cursed himself for a fool, a cruel bastard. They had avoided one another by unspoken agreement since their confrontation in his office, interacting swiftly and emotionlessly on the occasions their respective positions brought them into contact. Even after he had realized his mistake he had said nothing because there was nothing he could say, certainly not in front of numerous witnesses. Her tearful eyes stared at him accusingly inside his mind, and his cheek burned with the phantom memory of her hand across it. He started to raise his own to his face, but realized what he was doing and folded his arms firmly across his chest.
Relena shaped the lounge line into a loose coil, lng ing it in the center of the round pen, attached the shorter lead shank to the bay's halter and b to to lead the horse back to the stables. As they grew closer and she recognized her silent guardian, Heero saw her eyes widen and her steps falter though she never stopped the cooing monologue that she directed at the horse in a soft undertone. He watched her lips move wa sta strange fascination and wondered what it was she said, wondered what she thought to see him standing there waiting for her.
***
"Well, Jacques, look who nasty mean Wufei has sent to watch us this morning. And this morning of all mornings! He's going to pay for this. But you! You're such a good boy, and I'm very proud of you!"
She stopped in front of Heero without a word, and the bay stopped at her side obediently, his head dropping as she absently scratched beneath his ear. Relena stared at Heero from their short distance apart, and he looked back silently, his expression guarded. She forced a caricature of a smile to her lips and attempted to banish her acute awareness of her disheveled, dirty, and sweat soakepearpearance.
"Good morning. Hiroshi."
His eyes flickered for a moment at the use of his pseudonym, but he merely inclined his head in response. "Vice Foreign Minister."
"Come now, Hiroshi, we're old school friends. There's no need for titles."
"You saw me on the news." It wasn't a question. "Was there something else you wished me to say? The truth perhaps?"
Relena glanced down, biting her lip anxiously as she gathered her courage. She swallowed roughly and slowly raised her eyes to his. "No, I know you couldn't tell them the truth. I'm not even sure what the truth is anymore . . . but what you said . . . it hurt . . . to think that I meant nothing . . ."
"Then you know how I felt, how I've felt all my life."
Her face flushed with shame, and she stepped closer to the comforting bulk of the bay, twining her hand through his mane and drawing on his quiet strength. Mustering the nerve for one sentence was proving to be harder than any other speech she had ever made. "I think we really need to talk."
He straightened and closed the distance between them, pulling away a bit of hay stuck to her sleeve. His eyes searched hers, and she quivered with the repressed desire to move, though away or closer to him she did not know.
"Are you sure we haven't said all that needs to be said?" he inquired ly. ly. "I'm a waste of your time."
"I was angry, Heero, and hurt. I didn't mean it."
"Yes, you did," he replied, taking the horse's lead from her and disappearing into the cool interior of the stables, leading Jacques back to his stall. "And I deserved it."
"No, Heeyou you didn't. Would you stop for a minute and just listen to me? Hear me out, Heero, please!"
Relena followed him into the stall, a determined frown on her face, and he pulled the door closed behind them, turning the horse free. Heero tossed her a currycomb from the box of grooming supplies hanging beside the stall door and began toweling Jacques’ legs and underside.
"You want to talk? Talk."
Relena pursed her lips thoughtfully and began sweeping the brush down the bay's neck in short, swift strokes. It would be easier to say without looking him, and she mentally thanked Jacques for providing that small favor. "WI diI did to you in your office that day, both days, was wrong. Wrong and cruel. But I can't change any of it now. You have every right to be angry with me, every right to demand reparation . . . or to demand that I be punished to the full extent of the law."
"What law?" he questioned abruptly from below Jacques’ chin.
Relena stepped back, alarmed to find him so close and unable to read the expression on his face. Her voice broke as she forced the hateful words from her mouth, but she had promised herself to set things right. And for there to be rightness, painful honesty had to come first. "Heero, I . . . I forced you against your will . . . I ra--"
"Can't rape the willing," he muttered, moving back around to the horse's other side.
Anger surged through Relena. "Don't say that! Just because you're a man doesn't mean that you have to deny what happened! You shouldn't be ashamed! I'm the one that did a terrible thing when I forced myself on you."
He looked at her as if she was a simpleton. "Relena, you could not possibly have physically forced me to do anything if it was against my will. And before you say it, I'm quite capable of restraining any impulses and controlling my reactions, even where you're concerned."
"But--"
"I consented, Relena. You asked. You didn't say it out loud, but you asked, and I said yes. Your conscience should be safe."
She could not take in air fast enough, and her eyes prickled with the familiar liquid burning that signaled tears just waiting to fall. She leaned heavily against Jacques’ side, counting on her horse for support when her legs went weak. "Then . . . why? I don't understand . . ."
"Think about it long enough, and I'm sure you will. For now let's just say the discovery of that card and the press's subsequent field day with it came at an . . . inopporttimetime."
An extended pause filled the air between them, broken only by the gentle, absent rasp of her comb through Jacques’ coat, as she processed that cryptic bit of information. Though the desire to demand what it was that he meant rose strong within her, she owed him enough that she would do what he asked in this without question. If he wished for her to ponder his thought processes she would, and though perhaps not an enjoyable or easy task she hoped it woue bee beneficial in the future.
"I'm sorry," Relena said at last. "I'm so very sorry, Heero. For everything."
"I'm not," he responded curtly, discarding the long unused rag for another currycomb.
Relena stared at him over Jacques’ back as her own comb fell from suddenly nerveless fingers. Her mouth worked several times before she finally forced out, "What?"
Heero refused to meet her eyes, gazing very steadfastly at the strokes of his comb on Jacques’ coat. "I'm sorry for what happened," he clarified gruffly. "I'm not sorry for what we did."
She gaped at him, not daring to hope and feeling an odd kind of relief that the warm solidity of Jacques’ body separated them. Thinking properly in physical proximity with Heero had always been next to impossible, and her wits were scattered enough as it was. "What does that mean, Heero?"
"What am I to you?" he countered, finally raising his head and meeting her incredulous gaze openly.
"I . . . you're . . . you're . . . you're Heero," she stammered, a wealth of emotion permeating the only name she had ever had for him.
His lips twitched faintly, a strange light that set her stomach fluttering stirred in his eyes, and he opened his mouth to respond when Jacques snorted, swinging his head over the stall door and alerting them to the sound of approaching footsteps. They stilled, rather guiltily, and Heero's hand closed around his gun.
"Good morning, Vice Foreign Minister. I thought I'd find you in here with him," chirped a young female Preventer as she popped up over the stall door, rubbing the horse's nose affectionately and slipping him a sugar lump. She nodded to Heero. "Your shift's over, mate."
Heero nodded curtly, bending and handing Relena the comb she had dropped, his fingers slipping lightly over her hand. He gave his to the young Preventer and patted Jacques’ shoulder, his eyes never leaving Relena's. "Give him some time. He hasn't adjusted to his new way of life yet and still has a hard time trusting people."
"But he'lme ame around eventually?" she questioned hoarsely.
"Yeah."
Next Chapter: In which Wufei, in all his zeal to exact vengeance, messes things up.
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