Quatre Winner\'s Diary

May: Baseball and Alphabets

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Friday, May 9th

3:12 pm

Okay, so I have a really interesting weekend ahead of
me and it all focuses around one really important
thing: my boyfriend. Tonight he\'s taking me out to
dinner bse hse he says I need to relax and, of course,
get out. Then we\'re going to *his* place to watch
another DVD of Ranma. I really want to get rid of all
those other fiancés, because besides Akane, the other
two are insane. Shampoo is just…weird, and a little
ditzy, and Kodachi is just scary. But then I want
Akane to run off with Ryoga; he\'s just cute and so
sweet. And then Ranma-chan should end up with Kuno.
He\'s a little weird, but he\'d treat her/him well, if
he would just get over the \"I\'m a guy thing\"…[1]

So I\'m a little too into the show, and yes I know it\'s
a show, but hey, it\'s the only escape from this overly
hectic life I lead and I like it. When I start going
off on this Trowa just laughs, but it\'s like a soap
opera only funny and a lot more absurd…actually it\'s
not quite as absurd as Passions; that would take
something written by Tom Stoppard or Eugene Ionesco
[2].

I\'m excited about dinner. Really excited. I get
Trowa to myself for a few hours. Just me and him; no
reporters, no hospitals, no sick animals, just the two
of us…and Ranma.

12:34 am

Okay, dinner was an unmitigated disaster. Well, not
really a disaster but not that great. It wouldn\'t
have been so bad if those stupid paparazzi didn\'t show
up to snap \"candid\" photos of me. Why they\'re still
interested is beyond my comprehension. I\'m not all
that special. Okay, so I\'m a twenty-five-year-old CEO
who happened to make a few most eligible bachelor
lists and the front page of the Times. I\'m still a
normal person with the same damn problems that
everyone else has, and a few more added pressures
without the press breathing down my neck. I don\'t
need anything else on my plate people; just leave me
alone.

Now with that said I can continue with my date. We
went to a nice Italian restaurant, nothing to flashy,
just good food and good conversation, like the Olive
Garden commercials, only not so corporate and no weird
family references. I already had the Oedipus/Electra
complex thing once, and once was more then enough.
Anyway, we\'d just finished a dinner with no obvious
romantic overtones, at least to the casual observer
(under the table we held feet [3]), and gave the damn
photo hounds nothing to look at, but that didn\'t stop
them from snapping a few photos of us coming out of
the restaurant. I don\'t think the fires of hell and
Satan himself appearing would stop them.

So it wasn\'t a very private moment, but something in
Trowa almost snapped. I could see some sort of anger
flash in his eyes. Hell, I figured he\'d run off after
the sneaky bastard and beat the film out of him, and
since I really didn\'t want to have to stop that fight
so I told him to leave it be. It\'s really amazing he
listened to me.

We went to his place after that. Actually we walked.
It was nice, even though we couldn\'t really hold hands
or anything there\'s just something about being close
to the person who\'s chosen to be with you over
everyone else they know, but something about the
photographers made us very aware of what was going on
everywhere. Even though we were content to be
together, there was that larger thing looming over us;
not everyone knew we were a couple. Actually, it was
just the other thirty billion odd people that didn\'t
know it, and no matter how much I really wanted to
pull him in front of as many of those damn reporters
as I can find and kiss the breath out of him, I keep
hearing my sisters\' voices in the back of my head
saying that no one will accept it. Damn it.

When he finally got back to his apartment he excused
himself to the bathroom. Okay, so you could say I was
snooping, but I wasn\'t really, I just wanted to see
his Swifty. I\'d wanted to see if for months, but I
never got the chance. And I saw him sitting on the
bed next to Shemp, the lion I bought him. It made me
smile. And that\'s where he found me when he came back
out. Instead of being mad like I thought he would, he
just walked up to me and wrapped those incredibly long
arms around my waist and laid his head on my shoulder.
He said something about us going there later if I
wanted, but for right now we had anime to watch and
with a kiss on my neck he steered me away from the
bedroom and back to the couch.

For the next hour and a half I had nothing else to
think about besides Akane and Ranma and, of course,
how wonderful my boyfriend is. I\'m even starting to
like this separate apartment thing; there\'s something
to be said about dating the way everyone else does
lioodnoodnight kisses. Okay, a half an hour\'s worth
of goodnight kisses, against his front door. He left
me kind of wanting something more, anything more; and
when I tried to move things back to the promised
bedroom, he kind of did the opposite, saying later
didn\'t have to mean today and that he would take me up
on that.

I\'m starting to think that maybe it\'s not because he
doesn\'t want me around that he\'s pushing me away, but
because he does. I know it doesn\'t make much sense,
but it does. I think he\'s afraid to do something that
he thinks I\'m going to regret. The problem is, I\'m
not going to regret it. If I didn\'t want it I would
stop it. I\'m not a wimp. I can say no; I have
before, just not to another guy.

Anyway, I\'m home alone now, frustrated and I\'m going
to do the only thing I can think of: masturbate. And
I\'m going to be thinking of Trowa the entire time,
because this is a natural, normal thing to do. That
and my boyfriend hasn\'t tried to touch me below the
waist yet. Why can\'t he grab my ass? I want him to
grab my ass, but then again how do you ask for
something like that? \"Trowa, sweetie, will you goose
me? Just grab my butt and squeeze, please? No, no, I
really do want you to. Why would I be asking if I
didn\'t?\" I know that wouldn\'t work.

Okay, with that said, I\'m going to go to bed now. I\'m
starting to feel a little better.

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1. Mind you this is during Season One or Two of Ranma.
Ukiyo doesn\'t show up until like Three or Four. I
have a feeling that Quatre would like her.

2. These authors are a few of the leaders of the
Theater of the Absurd movement. It\'s a joke people.
Laugh.

3. It\'s the best term to describe it. It\'s not
playing footsie, because that implies movement and
some sexual overtones. Holding feet is more like the
casual entwining of feet and consequently legs in a
manner like holding hand, nothing more.