Running Out Of Tomorrows | By : Naomi Category: Gundam Wing/AC > Yaoi - Male/Male Views: 1608 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0 |
Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing/AC, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story. |
RUNNING
OUT OF TOMORROWS
PART
9
* * *
“Ahhhh. . . . .” That silent
and painful moan carried over the silent cubicle like a cold breeze over the
calm ocean. Slowly, Duo pulled the dirty yellow curtain behind him, closing it
and thus isolating Heero and himself from the rest of the room. He stood there
for a few more moments, facing the curtain instead of turning around towards
the bed. He closed his eyes slowly, taking deep breaths in order to calm his
racing heart. The pulsing organ ached uncontrollably, each heartbeat more
painful than the previous one, like a ticking bomb approaching its detonation
time. His chest throbbed with the dim pain, and he had to take a few more long
breaths before he was ready to turn around.
The sight of blood-filled
tubes greeted him,
along with the sickening sight of the machine responsible of keeping Heero
alive. On the bed, one of Heero’s limp hands twitched, slim fingers trying to
grasp the sheets as they searched for something. Tears filled Duo’s eyes as he
watched Heero’s pale and gaunt face also twitch in pain, his eyebrows drawing
near and his lips slightly parting. His slender arm, from which a thin tube of
blood was peeking out of thin flesh, rose up a little, still searching. A
hoarse whimper escaped Heero’s parched lips as his fingers still encountered
nothing, and a pair of glazed cobalt eyes slowly opened.
“...Duo...?” A weak voice
called out fearfully,dingding another wave of pain through Duo’s heart.
“D-Duo..? Wh...where... you...?”
He could take it no more and
immediately he was by his side, holding the fragile hand carefully, as if it
will break if he’ll hold on too tight. “I’m here, Hee-chan. I’m right here.” He
whispered soothingly, bending down to kiss Heero’s damp forehead, his lips
brushing against the warm sheen of sweat that covered Heero’s weary features.
“I’m right here... right here...”
Another silent moan escaped
Heero’s lips as he tightened his hold around Duo’s palm. “Don’t leave me...” He
asked, his eyes now closed for he had no more strength to fight in order to
keep them open. “Don’t let me sleep...”
“I won’t, Heero. I promise.”
He answered back, his voice coming out surprisingly determined and secure. He
held onto Heero’s hand tightly and brought it to his lips, kissing it lengthily
before finally placing the frail palm against his cheek, as if trying to lend
the cold fingers some of his warmth. “I’ll never leave you.”
Heero remained silent this
time, lying deathly still on the bed. His eyes were closed and his body limp.
The only sign of life was the slight movement of his messy chocolate bangs,
lying carelessly over his face and teased by his shallow breath. A bright sheen
of sweat was glistering over his forehead, the only source of heat coming out
of the dying young man. His parched lips were slightly open, looking colorless
and dead. Duo bent down to kiss them softly, just to assure himself that they
were still warm. Still alive.
Tears filled his eyes at the
realization that he will have to leave Heero’s hand in order to make sure that
those lips will remain warm and alive. He needed to leave Heero for a while,
despite his promise. He just didn’t know if he’d be able to do it. He had only
five or so hours left... was it enough time to save Heero’s life? Perhaps he
will be too late and miss the chance of being by his love’s side at this
crucial moment? Was it worth taking the chance..?
“Duo...” Heero’s weak voice spoke up again, coming out as
a mere whisper out of those still, pale, lips. Black and heavy eyelids slowly
struggled to open, moving heavily up until a pair of tired and blood-shot blue
eyes was looking numbly at Duo.
“...do you... do you remember what you said... about how
life taste like..?” He asked weakly, his eyes slowly shutting but then he
forced them open again, looking sadly at the man leaning over him. “Do you
remember... what you said..?”
Taking a deep, long breath, Duo squeezed Heero’s hand
tightly and sniffled. “Of course.” He choked out, his voice suffocating with
tears. “French champagne and strawberries. It can’t get any better than that,
huh?” He added with a sad little smile, trying to keep things light, though the
tears streaming down his cheeks were giving the act away.
On the bed, Heero closed his eyes and nodded weakly.
“I’ll. . . buy us some, ne?” He
whispered feebly, licking his cracked lips slowly. A small smile appeared on
his lips, like a sweet memory just caressed his mind. His dark blue eyes slowly
opened and turned to look at Duo, a small spark of light suddenly returning to
the still depths. “...and... and strawberries... just like you said... I’m
gonna buy them for you... I’ll buy anything for you...” He promised with a
saddened voice, the look in his eyes hazed with fever and pain. “Just like you
said... about... life... tastes like... when we... together...”
“Heero...” Again it was all Duo could say as he looked
down into those tearful and hopeful pair of eyes. The look in Heero’s eyes
radiated so much love, hope and content... like he had forgotten all about his
time of death... all about his pain and suffering and he truly believed... he
truly believed that he was going to be with Duo from now on... that they were
going to be together... that everything will be all right... that reality would
be gone... replaced with a dream... a dream that he’d kept a secret for so
long, and now, at his time of death, he was living his dream... he seemed so
convinced that it will happen... sopy tpy that it finally came true... Duo was
speechless under this gaze. There was too much pain in his heart to try and
move or speak. He simply sat there, shedding silent tears as he looked down
into Heero’s eyes.
“We’ll make a toast..... ne?” Heero continued feebly,
closing his eyes in bliss and licking his lips as if he could taste the
bittersweet wine on his lips. “We can sit on the beach... and drink
champagne... and strawberries that will be so red... and sweet...” He whispered
dreamily, a small and blissful smile gracing his pale features. “We’ll sit
together..... on the beach... we can watch the sunset... we’ll sit together...
okay? Together..?” The last few words came out as mere gasps as pain seared
through his slender body, making his muscles tense and ache. But Heero seemed
to be caught deepn hin his hazed dream, his glazed blue eyes looking up at Duo
and begging him for assurance. “You’ll... come..? With... with me..?”
More tears flooded his eyes and poured down like
waterfalls. He didn’t even bother to wipe them away. He just tightened his hold
on Heero’s limp palm and nodded eagerly. “Of course, Heero. Of course I will.
We’ll sit together. We will...”
Again that small and joyous smile, the light shining in
those dark blue eyes. It was too much to look at. Too much to see. He didn’t
know how much more his heart could take. He didn’t know how much more he could
handle. Seeing Heero like this, hearing his hopes and dreams for his lost
future... it was just too much!
“We’ll have the beach all for ourselves...” Heero
continued, closing his eyes and turning his head aside, as if trying to picture
the beach right now. “...I’m gonna buy it so it will be just ours... so... so
we can drink together.... ne..?” He whispered feebly, his hand twitching in
Duo’s hold as he too tried to hold on tightly to his lover’s warm palm. “You
can bring Solo, ne? He’ll like the beach, I think... I’m gonna buy him
something too... will he be happy..?”
“Yes, Heero.” Duo answered, his voice trembling with
tears. He sniffled loudly and wiped his nose with is sleeve. “He’ll be
delighted.” He assured his love, while at the same time his heart clenched in
pain. He felt as if he was lying. Playing along with Heero’s fever induced
illusion was just a big lie... but it didn’t matter anymore. Nothing did.
“Chairu would love the beach... I think... he’ll have a
lot of place to run...” Heero mumbled with a smile, his eyes still closed as he
pictured his beloved pet there with them.
“We’ll bring him too, Heero. I promise.” Duo whispered,
lifting Heero’s hand up to his lips and kissing it softly. He was surprised
when Heero’s eyes suddenly opened, the two glazed orbs looking at him in shock.
“...you won’t mind..?” He asked in wonder, his expression that of a baffled
child.
Duo smiled sadly and shook his head. “No, Heero. I won’t
mind.” He whispered and bestowed another kiss on Heero’s weak palm. “I won’t
mind at all.”
“...maybe... maybe Solo could play with him..? Chairu will
like that, I think...” Heero continued, looking up at Duo like a child trying
to talk his parents into giving him something.
Tearful, Duo bent down and kissed Heero’s forehead
lightly. When his lips parted from the warm skin, he turned so he could look
closely into Heero’s eyes. He smiled kindly at his love and then offered a
small kiss to the tip of his nose. “They’ll both like it, I’m sure.”
Heero’s pale features lighted with a smile, his eyes
sparkling with joy. “We’ll be like a family...” He whispered longingly, closing
his eyes as he turned his head away. “Champagne tastes better on the beach...
I’ll buy us some...” He licked his dry lips and took a trembling breath. Tears
were leaking down his pale cheeks, a silent evidence that somehow, despite the
fever, Heero knew that it was all a lie. A dream that will never come true.
“...and strawberries too...” He whispered in a tired and miserable voice, his
head tilting down and sinking into the thin pillow. “We’ll... we’ll sit
together... on the beach...”
Afraid that Heero will sink into slumber and never wake
up, Duo hurried to shake him awake. Heero moaned in protest and blinked,
turning to look at him in confusion. His mind was hazed with fever, and the
look in his eyes suggested that he was barely registering what went on around
him. Duo ignored that fact and simply smiled at him, reaching down to pet his
hair lovingly.
“Heero, I have to go for a few hours.” He spoke slowly,
holding Heero’s gaze with his own, hoping to get through to the boy. “But I’ll
be back, you hear that? I will be back. I’m gonna make sure you’ll fill that
promise, Heero. I’ll be back to make sure you will.”
Heero’s eyes were closing again, his eyelids slowly
sliding shut. It looked like he didn’t even hear what Duo had said, for he
offered no response to the fact that Duo was about to leave.
“Hee-chan?” Duo whispered carefully, placing a warm hand
on Heero’s frail shoulder and shaking his lightly. “Hee-chan, did you hear what
I just said? I have to leave for a while. I’m gonna be back soon, but I have to
leave. Do you understand?”
Slowly, those eyelids lifted up, stopping halfway as a
pair of cobalt blue eyes turned to look at Duo through half lidded eyes.
“You’re... lea...ving...?” He asked weakly, his voice hoarse and full of gloom.
“You’re... leaving... now..?”
There was so much pain behind those words, so much hurt
and sadness behind those three little words, the fear of abandonment and
heartbreak all too clear in those glazed blue eyes.
“We’re not going to... beach..? ...together..? Like...
like promised...?”
“No, Heero. That’s not it.” Duo assured him, shaking his
head as if trying to convince Heero. “It’s just for a few hours. I’ll be back
in a few hours. You have to hold on until then, Heero. Can you do that? Can you
do that for me?”
“For... you..?” Heero whispered, turning to look up at
Duo. And then suddenly, he smiled. “Anything...”
Duo allowed himself a small smile as well, his eyes
thanking Heero for still being so strong. For being able to believe in him, to
trust him despite all the wrong that he had done to him, despite all the times
he had left him and never returned. There was just no end to Heero’s loving
kindness. He hoped with all his heart that he would not disappoint his love
this time. That he will be able to make Heero’s dream come true.
“I’ll be back as soon as I can, Heero. I promise. I’m
gonna make sure that we’ll be together always. Please Heero, hold on just a
little longer. Do it for me. For us. Please?” He begged, nearly crying. He was
holding both of Heero’s hands in his own trembling palms, looking down into
those warm blue oceans. He bent down to kiss Heero’s lips lengthily, reluctant
to let go as he felt Heero return the kiss, pressing his lips gently against
Duo’s. He placed his hands on each of Heero’s hollow cheeks, pulling the boy
closer to him as they kissed. He ran his tongue over Heero’s lower lip,
savoring the taste despite the bitterness of sickness and death. He could feel
Heero’s trembling hands slowly climb up to embrace him, to pull him closer, to
make himself one with the one he loved. As much as he didn’t want to, he pulled
back eventually, parting his lips from Heero’s and pulling his head back just
enough to look into Heero’s eyes. His hands were still pressed against Heero’s
cheeks, holding his head in place so he could trace his eyes over those
handsome features, ignoring all the signs of illness and simply absorbing the
beautiful face of his love into his heart and into his mind.
“I’ll be back before you know it.” He promised in a
whisper, bestowing another quick kiss to those pouting lips, and then a few
shorter kisses- to Heero’s nose and to each one of clo closed eyelids. With
that goodbye, he finally detached himself from Heero’s hold, feeling those
slender arms cling to him, refusing to let go. He could feel them slide
reluctantly off his body, releasing him without a choice as he rose off the
small bed. He sent Heero one last look, full of anguish and hope, and then
exited through the curtain.
Behind him, on the bed, a pair of tearful blue eyes
watched the curtain as it swung slightly back and forth until it finally stood
still. They continued to stare ahead numbly, barely alive, and then finally
slid shut, like the sealing of a stony tomb. A silent whimper was barely heard
as it pushed out of lifeless lips, and a shaky breath followed it when the
tears threatened to smother the dying young man.
“Sa-sayonara, Duo. . .” He whispered, curling on the bed
and just waiting to die. “Th...thank you for... c-co...ming. . .”
* * *
Curious neighbors gathered
around Ms. Schbeiker’s residence, prying eyes trying to determine why there
were two police cars parked in front of the small suburban home. The red and
blue lights flashed brightly in the dark street, coloring Gurewich Ave in a
solemn display of lights. There were other patrol cars circling the
neighborhood, searching for hours as the lights in the colony dimmed until they
faded away.
In the dark, the officers
were even more worried; troubled about the fate of one six-year-old boy who
left his home that morning and was never seen again. Inside the house, Social
Services officials and other policemen questioned the worried mother again and
again, poking her with so many questions until she could take it no more. Every
now and then a phone call was made, trying to reach the father who was so far
away, but it was never answered. It was always “busy” or simply unanswered. Duo
Maxwell was not to be reached while his son had gone missing.
Sitting curled on the couch
as a nervous wreck, Hilde dried her tears with her sleeve and sniffled loudly.
Her eyes were red and swollen from crying, her nose running as she sniffled
loudly again and again. Her hands trembled each time she tried to reach for a
cup of tea that was made for her, and each time she looked up she was staring
in to the eyes of a sympathetic young female officer who just sat there with
her, trying to offer silent comfort.
The social services left a
while ago, after having nothing else to do other than tell her that the custody
agreement will have to be questioned in court again, regarding both parents.
That only brought another session of tears out of the young mother, after being
threatened to lose her rights to see her son at all. She also knew that Duo
will be in a lot of more trouble than he could handle once he will be back. If
it was not enough that he would have to deal with Heero’s death, he’ll have
custody trials to deal with as well. She was sure that this will devastate her
ex-husband for sure, and she wasn’t sure if he will be able to recover if he
will lose both his lover and his son.
“Would you like some more
tea, Ma’am?” The officer lady offered kindly, already rising out of her seat.
She was helpless in aiding the young mother, there was nothing she could say or
do to ease her heart, so she resorted in short moments of escape into the
kitchen.
“Where is he..?” Hilde
mumbled quietly to herself, staring numbly at the floor. She was hugging
herself now, lying curled into herself on the couch. “When I need him... he’s
always gone...” She continued as if caught in a trance, her glazed eyes half
focusing on the wireless phone resting on the coffee table in front of her. It
was always silent. “Duo...”
She was a fool for still
loving him, for still depending on him som. Th. Though she had moved on since
the divorce, she couldn’t help but feel bitter and a little upset that she
never had his heart. What little she did have, she gave up with the divorce.
And now, when her world was crumbling around her, she wanted the father of her
son to be near. To be the pillar of strength and optimism he’d always been.
During the war she could always depend on his comfort and believe him blindly when
he said that it was all going to be all right in the end. She needed to hear
that promise now. After all, Duo Maxwell never lied and he always came through
with his promises. Always. She needed him to say that Solo will return safely;
carefree and cheerful as always.
“It’s going to be all right.”
A voice came from above her, and a cup of steaming tea was pushed into her line
of vision. Looking up, she could see the young officer smile kindly at her. By
the look in her young and inexperienced eyes, she knew how lost and unsure the
woman was feeling. So different than that reassuring and kind violet gaze... it
made her words sound hollow and meaningless.Even though she had tried to
call the said man just a few moments ago, the young officer nodded her head
silently and retired to the kitchen to make the call. She paused at the
kitchen’s doorway, turning around to look at the helpless mother sitting on the
sofa. Her heart clenched painfully at the woman’s dejected sight, and her eyes
stung with tears. Ten hours and no sign of neither the son nor the ex-husband.
She could only pray that things will really be okay in the end.
* * *
Nighttime. A day full of
searching and still he had nothing. No matter who he turned to, no matter who
he begged and whoever he called, his efforts were in vain. With the limited
resources he had and with the distance between L7 and the rest of civilization,
there was nothing much to be done. After of waiting for an hour on hold to get
hold of his old friend and business man Quatre R. Winner, he got nothing but a
sorrowful reply that there’s nothing he can do in such a short notice. As much
as the wealthy Arabian wanted to help, there wasn’t anything he could offer
that would be of use. Any kind of action would take at least a day to be taken.
In four hours... there was nothing he could do. All he could offer was his
deepest condolences and a sad reminder that if only Duo would have called
sooner...
That was Duo’s last hope, and
even that was shattered. He didn’t know where else to turn to, what to do and
who to beg. He laughed mockingly to himself as he passed by a shabby church on
L7’s outskirts, but he didn’t even think of entering. Despite himself, he did
donate his last 10 dollars to a couple of nuns who were collecting charity
money, and thus had to walk back to the hospital on foot. It took him about two
hours of walking, and when he did arrive the streets were already dark and so
were the hospital’s halls. He climbed tiredly up the stairs and dragged his
aching feet down the corridor that led into the Terminally Ill ward. He took a
deep breath and wiped away his tears before entering the room.
He had failed Heero again,
and this time there would be no chance to make up for his mistakes. There was
no more time left and there was no more or or strength in him to try. He felt
empty, dead, like everything had been drained out of him and left him dry. Even
the tears refused to come. They still flooded his eyes, but they had ceased
from pouring. His features were still and stony, pale as death and sickened
with the realization that he had failed the man he loved. He looked like a
walking corpse as he slowly marched towards Heero’s cubicle, like a man on
death row walking towards his execution. His hair was a mess, wild and stray
hairs escaping his falling apart ponytail. His eyes seemed to be sunken deeply
into his head, heavy bags underneath the blood-shot violet orbs.
He sighed tiredly as he
pushed the yellow curtain open, his fist closing around the filthy fabric as he
forced himself to face the facts and enter the small space that will soon
become the last place Heero will be drawing air from. The last place that he
will get to see in his life.
He wasn’t surprised to see
that the dialysis had been removed. After all, it’s been longer than six hours
and those hours were all he could afford. He was mildly stunned to discover
that at least the doctors bothered to bandage the injured spots were the tubes
once entered Heero’s body, though he didn’t see the point in treating the
wounds. They won’t even have the chance to develop an infection. Heero will be
dead before that will ever happen.
With that cynical thought,
Duo drew his small metal chair close to the bed and sat down heavily. He placed
both his elbows on his knees and buried his face in his hands. He wasn’t
crying, simply tired of breathing, living, grieving... that’s all he ever
did... grieve for the dead and fear the loss of the living. He was so tired of
it... so tired of the pain... so tired of failing at helping those he loved...
so tired of even trying...
Looking up, he fixed his
tired gaze on Heero’s still form. He was tired of seeing his love so still and
lifeless. He was sick of being reminded of his errors, of his failures, of the
pain that will come the minute this beautiful soul will vanish from the world.
He wanted to see him alive, full of life and energy and joy. He wanted to make
him happy, to make him feel good... to make him feel alive and loved before he
shall exhale his last breath. He wanted to make love to him. For the first and
last time of their lives, he wanted to make love with the person he truly
loved, in both body and soul. He needed to make Heero see, feel and hear how
much he loved him. It was now or never. If nothing else, he should at least
give Heero this. It was the only thing left to do.
With a heavy heart, he
crawled into his lover’s bed, trying to shake the feeling of dread and grief
off his heart and just concentrate on the moment. Just concentrate on the
feeling of Heero’s tender skin... of the little warmth it had left in it. Just
the sight of his eyes, slowly opening as he ran his fingers down his body. Just
the sight of those blue, blue, orbs looking at him in question, and then
closing in pleasure as he caressed a pinkish nipple. Just those pouting pale
lips parting slowly as his fingers continued orshorship the limp body. Those
little adorable moans as he slowly undressed his lover, sending kissed to each
spot of unraveled flesh. This is all he needed to know right now. This is all
he needed to feel. The indescribable sensation of Heero’s slender arms wrapped
around him, those long slim fingers shyly reaching to touch back, to explore
what they’ve longed to touch for so long. This all-too powerful feeling of lust
flooding him as he felt the body beneath him come to life, hormones and desire
giving Heero’s life one last boost, a finale moment of glorious existence as
his body awakened with sensation.
His own body was also taken
over by that passion, by the feeling of life and burning desire. He buried his
face between Heero’s head and shoulder, his lips sucking and nibbling gently at
the tender spot. He could feel Heero’s pulse, strong and wild, throbbing
against his lips as he sucked. He could feel Heero’s chest, pressed against
his, rising quickly up and down as he panted, choking out moans of pleasure as
Duo’s hands slid between their bodies, moving down towards his groin. He could
feel Heero’s own hands work to rid him of his clothes, nudging his shirt off
and struggling with his pants. Duo parted from the slender neck for a brief
moment, just to rid himself of his trousers and then dove back to worship
Heero’s body with kisses.
He traced his tongue over
each of Heero’s ribs, trailing a wet trail down to his abdomen and dipping into
his navel. Beneath him Heero’s body tensed and then faltered with pleasure, a
small cry escaping his parched lips. He could tell that Heero was keeping
himself from calling out, probably mindful that behind the yellow curtain were
about a dozen other people who might be listening. He was determined to make
Heero forget all about these people, all about this damned hospital and just
let himself go, lost in pleasure, love and passion. With that determination, he
rose up to steal Heero’s lips with a kiss, his hands rising up to toy with both
his nipples so he will be able to drink each and every moan out of those
heavenly lips.
For long and endless moments,
when time seemed to stand still, all Duo did was kiss and touch Heero. He
touched him everywhere he could, trying to see what kind of response he’ll get
out of his lover’s body. He kissed him and whispered sweet things in his ear,
caressing his body and petting his hair.
He pressed his naked body
against Heero’s smaller one, enjoying the feeling of warm flesh against his. He
was lying on his side, Heero propped next to him, panting from the kisses he’d
been drinking from his lips. He reached down a hand and traced it down Heero’s
spine, feeling the boy tremble and sigh shakily. His skin was warm and moist,
and he could feel the bumps of his spine underneath the gentle touch of his
finger. He let his hand slide further down, caressing the gentle curves of his
lover’s behind. He wrapped himself completely around Heero, holding him close
and tight as his finger ventured lower, sliding between the soft globes and
teasing Heero’s entrance. Duo turned to suck gently at the juncture of Heero’s
neck and shoulder, one of his hands wrapped around Heero’s chest and toying
with an erect nipple. His other hand worked to prepare his lover for
penetration, sliding carefully inside his lover. He kept kissing him and
soothing him as he began to stretch the tight ring of muscles, speaking softly
to him between kisses, whispering his love to him over and over.
Next to him, Heero whimpered
and tensed, his eyes shut tight and tears lingering onto his dark eyelashes.
Duo rose up a little and kissed his ear, nibbling his earlobe as he carefully
inserted another finger. Again the young man whimpered, biting his lower lip in
pain. Duo could feel his body tense and his passage become tighter. He couldn’t
bear the thought of causing Heero more pain, and thus he stopped, his fingers
becoming still inside the tight passage.
“Would you like me to stop?”
He whispered, bending close to Heero’s ear. “Does it hurt? Do you want me to
stop?”
Heero raised his trembling
hand backwards and placed the warm palm on Duo’s shoulder. He shook his head
weakly, still panting from earlier ministrations. “...no...” He whispered, his
voice weak and hoarse. “Don’t... stop... please...” He begged, pushing himself
carefully against Duo’s fingers, feeling them brush against his inner walls.
“My body hardly feels...” He mumbled quietly, closing his eyes as if trying to
concentrate, to make his numb body respond. To make the dying flesh feel and
live for another short moment. “...I hardly feel... the pain... makes me
feel... alive...” He explained sadly, beginning to move slightly on ted,
ed,
rubbing his whole body against Duo in an attempt to stimulate dying nerves.
“...make me feel, Duo... make me live... I want... I want you... inside me...”
He concluded with a miserable whisper, clenching his inner muscles around Duo’s
still fingers. “Make love to me, Duo... make love to me...”
Smiling sadly, Duo nodded and
bent down to kiss Heero’s dry lips. He whispered a promise to return as soon as
he can, and then parted from his love for a few moments in order to search the
hospital for some kind of lube. He returned a few moments later, coating his
fingers and his erection with the makeshift lube he had found. He lay next to
his lover, hugging him after being apart for what felt like a lifetime. His
lips returned to kiss the heated flesh and sweet skin, while his fingers began
to venture lower, working to stretch his lover, as his mouth trailed down to
Heero’s neck, and further down. He licked the crevice in his shoulder blades,
feeling Heero tremble at the action. He then traced his tongue down Heero’s
spine; while at the same time he inserted a third fingnto nto his lover,
earning a small yelp from the young man. He smirked and moved his other hand to
lightly grab Heero’s heavy sack, massaging it gently to distract Heero from the
pain. The Asian man nearly jumped off the bed as he was assaulted with a tidal
wave of pleasure, calling out with a throaty moan.
This feeling that Duo was
evoking within him was more than he thought he could ever feel. His senses were
overloaded, nearly short-circuiting. It’s been so long since he felt so alive,
since he felt the rush of warm blood through his veins, the wild beating of his
heart... warm air rushing in and out of him as he panted, and cried out and
begged for more. Despite the sickness and pain that was still nesting inside him, he allowed
himself to feel only pleasure. Only Duo. Only Duo...
“A-AHHH!” He cried out as Duo’s fingers touched something
inside him, and in a moment he forgot all about the pain. His eyes flew wide open,
the blue orbs clouded with pleasure and lacking any sign of fever and pain. His
lips were parted as he panted harshly, waiting for the fingers to move and
flood him with that burning-white sensation again. Instead, the fingers slowly
withdrew and Duo’s warm lips were pressed against his again. He could feel
something hard press against his behind and he gulped against Duo’s mouth.
Though still kissing each other passionately, their eyes were wide-open, gazes
locked. Heero felt himself drown as he looked deeply into those amethyst pools
hovering so close to his own eyes. They were the only things he could see, and
he felt his whole body tingle with the warmth that shone out of those beautiful
violet of eyes.
He could feel Duo’s hot and hard arousal slowly push into
him, and he resisted the urge to close his eyes in pain. The cobalt pools were
flooded with tears, but they continued to gaze upwards at that heavenly purple
light. His mouth opened wide with a gasp as he felt the pulsing hardness push
past his tight ring, and only then he was reminded that Duo’s lips were still
plastered to his own, and now a wet and hot tongue was sliding into his mouth.
He closed his eyes and let himself be engulfed with pleasure as Duo’s tongue
licked and toyed with the inner crevices of his mouth, and at the same time,
down below, a hot and powerful feeling was building inside him. At that moment,
Duo’s lips left his as the longhaired man arched back with a loud groan,
pushing himself into the tight haven of his lover.
A loud groan tore out of Duo’s lips as he slid inside
Heero and buried himself to a hilt. His throaty cry echoed in the dark hall,
breaking the silence of the night. It was combined with Heero’s loud gasps as
the young man’s body buckled and squirmed on the bed. He was left panting by
the feeling oo’s o’s hot and hard arousal pulsing inside of him. He could feel
it throb within his inner walls, filling him completely. His mouth was left
wide open, his eyes flooded with tears. The pain and pleasure of being filled
was overwhelming. His whole body tickled with sensation, and an irresistible
urge that was pleading him to move... to make Duo move... anything... just
move... move... move!!!
The braided man was lost in his own heaven, completely
engulfed by Heero and his tightness. His breath came hard and uneven, his whole
body burning. He could barely hold back another groan as he slowly pulled back,
rubbing his erection against Heero’s hot walls, and then slowly, agonizingly,
sliding back in. The movement of his hips was slow and careful, allowing him to
feel each and every inch of Heero as he pumped himself in and out of the warm
body. It didn’t take long before his lover began to wiggle underneath, his
slender arms reaching up to grab a handful of chestnut hair.
“Harder...” He rasped, his voice hoarse and his breathing
ragged. “Faster Duo... harder... please...” He pleaded, his cobalt eyes
shimmering as he turned to look at his lover. “Make me feel... make me feel
you... harder... more and more... please...”
Duo smiled softly and bent down to kiss those pleading
lips. As he ran his tongue over Heero’s hot lips, he drew his hips back slowly,
and then quickly slammed back in. Beneath him, Heero jumped up a little, his
body now pressed against his lover. His slender fingers were curled tightly
around Duo’s arms, holding onto him tightly as he thrust his head back and
gasped: “Ahhh... nnn... more...”
His longhaired lover quickly complied, pulling back and
then slamming back in. Again and again, thrust after thrust, he let himself be
buried inside his beautiful lover, his eyes drinking the sight of the
magnificent boy as he trashed on the bed, panting and begging for more. The
boy’s skin was warm and shining with sweat, his cheeks flushed brightly red.
His whole body was radiant and full of life, glowing with passion and love. It
was a wonderful feeling, to be able to kiss and taste these warm and delicate
lips, to be able to touch that burning hot skin... to be able to feel the tight
heat of his lover’s body, and just for a moment, this single tiny moment, to be
able to forget about tomorrow. Forgetting how cold, colorless and dead this
body might be tomorrow.
He let himself forget and just indulged himself in the
sight of Heero’s blushed cheeks and those red lips that were rasping out his
name. Shiny droplets were sliding down his bronze skin, and his lush brown hair
came to life once again, swinging in all direction as the boy thrust his head
from side to side. Long chocolate bangs flew up and down as Heero tossed on the
bed, wrapping his arms tightly around his lover as he moaned and cried out his
name with each thrust.
He jumped up with a cry as his prostate was hit, crying
out in a soulful voice that bounced between the walls. At this moment he forgot
all about being in a crowded hospital room, and his mouth was filled with loud
moans and harsh panting. It was cut off by loud and intense cries each time his
prostate was hit, and it was accompanied by Duo’s own sounds of pleasure. The
two’s cries filled the room as they moved in union on the small bed, bodies
sliding against each other. Duo’s hands were all over his smaller lover,
sliding over his skin and toying with his nipples. Since they were both lying
on their side, it was easy for him to wrap himself around his lover, engulfing
the young man with his body. For this moment, he actually felt as if they were
one, and he closed his eyes and threw his head back in pleasure. He tightened
his hold around Heero, moving his hips faster and faster, trying to drive
deeper into him until they were truly one being. Maybe then, they will never be
apart... they will never part, because they will be one. One being. One soul.
One heart. One life... Oh how he wished it was so!
*
* *
They lay in silence, still wrapped in each other’s arms.
They were still lying on their side, Heero pressed tightly against his lover,
held securely in his arms. His head was tucked underneath Duo’s chin, his own
arms wrapped around the muscular hands that were hugging him around his waist.
He could feel Duo’s limp cock inside him, pulsing faintly against his inner
muscles. He felt numb, yet content. His body was moist with sweat and the
evidence of both his and Duo’s passion sliding down his smooth thighs. He could
feel Duo’s warm breath caress the top of his head, the strong and comforting
presence of his warm body all around him, above him and inside him. He could
stay like this forever, lying in silence while wrapped in a blanket of love.
Though he was exhausted from their earlier exercise, he refused to close his
eyes. The cobalt orbs shimmered dimly in the dark, gazing ahead at nothing. By
the even breathing of his lover, Heero knew that Duo was deep asleep, and he
couldn’t help but smile at the fact that even though his body was taken over by
sleep, Duo’s hold around him didn’t lose its strength. It remained as tight and
reassuring as ever. Duo was not going to let him go.
Sighing quietly, Heero wiggled in Duo’s hold, trying to
awaken his numb limbs. He felt sore and the ailing feeling was back. He was nauseous
once again and his head ached badly. Still, he was determined to ignore all
these signs of illness and just concentrate on the warm and pulsing organ
inside him. It was comforting beyond belief.
He smiled to himself, a small and content smile, a dim
light shimmering in his eyes. He lifted a trembling hand to caress his lover,
allowing himself to sink deeper into Duo’s warm embrace. His tired eyes refused
to remain open, sliding shut every now and then, but he fought the urge to
sleep, opening his eyes with painstaking efforts. He will stay awake until the
end. He will look death in the face, square in the eye, and tell him that he
can take him now... and that he would die happy. Content in the arms of the one
he loves.
His eyes filled with tears, but his heart was filled with
resolve. The resolve to die happy, to stop weeping about his misfortune. He was
strong in life and he will be strong in death. Enough crying. He shouldn’t cry.
He had achieved what he most wanted... what he searched for all of his life. He
was happy. He had a happy life, he kept telling himself. He was happy when he
was born, happy in the first few years of his life, and he was happy now, in
his last days in this world. It was a complete circle. It began with happiness,
safety and content, and it ended the same way. What happened in between did not
matter. He will forget about it. It did not matter... it didn’t happen. He will
not carry these painful memories into the afterlife. He will only remember the
feeling of being wrapped in someone’s loving arms. The warmth of his mother’s
hand and the touch of Duo’s gentle fingers. The cold and callous hands that
handled him roughly for most of his life... he will forget about them right
here and now. They never existed.
“I was happy...” He whispered, his eyes welling up with
tears as he turned around to face his love. He smiled sadly at him and reached
to caress his tender cheek, brushing away a few long bangs. “I was happy in
life... I had a happy life...” He repeated his lie, his lips trembling as more
tears flooded his cobalt eyes. “You made me happy... Duo... aishiteru...”
His eyes felt so heavy... he wanted to sleep... he wanted
to rest his aching head deeply into the pillow and just sleep... But even so
near his death, so close to his salvation, his body refused to give him rest.
Bile climbed up his throat and his body tensed with pain. He shuddered in Duo’s
arms, feeling the painful seizure build inside him. His inner muscles clenched
as he gagged into his palm, coughs racking his aching body. Within the extreme
pain the flooded him so suddenly, he could feel Duo stir and begin to rise. The
warm arms that were his shelter slowly slid off him and a gentle palm came to
rest on his shoulder.
“Hee-chan?” Duo’s husky voice, heavy with sleep and worry,
whispered quietly into his ear. “Hee-chan... are you okay? What’s wrong?” He
asked again as he saw Heero was not answering, simply gagging into his palm.
His eyes widened in worry and he hurried to pull out of his lover and come to
his aid.
But Heero’s hand stopped him, reach up frantically and
holding onto him tightly.
“Don’t!” He called, out of breath. “Don’t leave me!
Please, Duo... don’t let me go... please... just hold me... stay inside me...
please...”
“But—” He began to protest, but then Heero whirled around
to face him, and the sight of those desperate cobalt eyes was just too much to
resist.
“Please Duo... don’t let me go... not now... not ever...”
He begged, his eyes filling with tears. His weak hold on Duo’s arm was
beginning to shake, and a few more coughs escaped his lips. His eyelids
threatened to close, but he forced them open, looking up into his lover’s eyes.
“Duo... I don’t want to die... not
like this... please...” He asked, as if Duo was the one to decide his fate.
“Don’t go... I don’t want to die... don’t go...”
His resolve was gone. All the courage he’d been trying to
muster... all the lies he tried to feed himself... they failed to calm his
fearful heart. One look into Duo’s eyes... the sound of his voice... they were
such a painful reminder that he was not ready to leave this world. That he
didn’t want to die. Not yet! Not yet! If death will come he will beg for
another day! Another tomorrow! Another day spent with Duo... he didn’t want to
die! The heck with being strong! He wanted to be with Duo... he wanted to feel
those warm arms around him forever. He was so scared to die... so scared to be
left alone... again... forever...
“I’m not going anywhere, Heero. And neither are you.” Duo
finally managed to whisper back, bending to kiss Heero’s delicate lips. “I’ll
be with you forever.” He assured him softly; taking hold of Heero’s trembling
hand and entwining their fingers. He pushed himself carefully into Heero’s warm
body, ignoring the fact that he was hard once again. “I’ll never leave you.” He
whispered, turning Heero so he would lie on his side again, and beginning to
kiss him from the shoulder and up to his neck.
Heero sighed sadly and closed his eyes, letting Duo’s warm
kisses be his anchor to life as he felt the darkness slowly sip into him. He
could feel it sliding slowly towards him, like a puddle of slime, making its
way towards him, eager to swallow him whole. He whimpered sadly at the thought
of not seeing another sunrise, and tightened his hold on Duo’s hand, which was
still entwined with his.
“I had so much I wanted to do...” He whispered sadly,
opening his eyes and gazing ahead at nothing. He could feel Duo’s lips halt at
a certain spot on his neck, but as time passed and he said nothing, those lips
continued to trail up and down his slender neck. “There’s still so much I want
to see... to experience... I found out that there was so much more to do...
After the war was over... I found out that I was missing so much...” He could
feel a few warm droplets fall over his skin, and he knew that Duo was crying.
He was no longer kissing him, simply holding him, caressing his hair as he
spoke. He was just there with him, warm, alive and willing to listen. He loved
him so much for it... he loved him so much for everything he had taught him...
everything he’d shown him... about life... about love... and death.
“I wanted... before I died... I always wanted to make a
difference...” Heero whispered sadly, bowing his head and closing his eyes in
sorrow. “I didn’t even get the chance to do that...”
“But you have, Heero. You did make a difference.” Duo
finally spoke, his voice confident and kind. It coated Heero like a warm layer
of honey, making his legs feel weak. He loved the sound of Duo’s voice in the
dark. When the world was silent, when all was asleep, Duo’s voice could really
shine. It was so warm and rich and beautiful... only in the dark one could
cherish it for what it really was. Honest and loving. No masks and no sarcasm.
It was his favorite sound in the world. At least he was able to hear that voice
one last time...
“Heero, you’ve made a difference to so many people. So
many lives that you saved...” Duo whispered soothingly, running his hand gently
through Heero’s dark hair.
“No... not like that...” Heero whispered back, shaking his
head. “I want to make a difference to someone... I want... I want to be
remembered as more than a simple paragraph in someone’s textbook.” He replied
bitterly, closing his eyes as the tears threatened to come. “I want to be more
than a hero who lived and died in one short sentence. People don’t know... they
don’t know... no one knows me... they don’t know... they don’t know that... no
one does... my real name... no one knows it...” He cried silently, shaking his
head against he pillow.
Silence fell; so thick and intense that one could almost
hear the tears as they slid down Duo’s face. He lay still by his lover’s side,
having nothing to say. Nothing he could say would change the long line of
errors that led them both to this moment. Nothing could change the fact that he
had wasted the twelve years since he’d met Heero in convincing himself that he
didn’t need his love. He was partly responsible for the loss of Heero’s dream.
For the unfulfilling of his wishes. He didn’t even give Heero the chance to
make a difference. He didn’t give him a chance to live the way he wanted to. He
ran off to Hilde. He chose the easy way out. He left Heero behind when he
needed him, when he needed a guide and a friend in a chaotic world that he was
never taught how to live in.
“I will perish and no one will know who Heero Yuy was...”
Heero continued sorrowfully, his voice miserable and tired. “...just another
name to learn for a history exam... not a father or a son, a lover... nothing.
Just a name. A name that doesn’t even belong to me...” He sniffled quietly and
then turned to look up at his violet-eyed lover. His cobalt eyes shone with
tears as he looked up at his love, and pouted sadly. “I want... I want to be
buried under my real name...”
A sob broke out of Duo’s lips, and still he nodded and
smiled. He took Heero’s hand and squeezed it tightly, looking down at him with
a warm gaze. “Sure, Heero. I can take care of that.” He said, his voice
faltering. “W-what’s your real name?”
For a long moment, Heero simply stared at him with a blank
expression. He had no idea what the young man might be thinking. Perhaps he was
trying to recall something that he’d forgotten long ago. His lips trembled for
a moment, as if about to speak some sort of holly words, but then they went
still before a sound escaped past them. With a heavy sigh, Heero closed his
eyes and hung his head low. Tears were sliding down his cheeks as his hand
trembled in Duo’s hold.
“. . . . I don’t know. . .” He whispered hoarsely, his
hand going limp in Duo’s hold. Those were the last words he spoke for that
night.
*
* *
Daddy always kept a spare key under his bedroom window.
You had to look for it in the bushes, because it was well hidden, but he knew
that it was there. It was his “failsafe key”, daddy always said. In case
something happens and he will not be home for him, Solo could always use this
key. In all of his short years of existence such a thing never happened. But it
did now. His daddy left him and didn’t return.
He didn’t know why he’d come all the way home from his
mommy’s house. He knew that he will find nothing but the neat lawn on the front
yard and the dark windows in the living room. It was already late at night. He
wandered the streets until it got dark, the blackness urging him to find
shelter. He went to the only place he could think of- home. An empty home.
Tears filled the child’s eyes as he placed a muddy hand
around the doorknob and slowly turned it open. The door creaked loudly in the dark,
sending shivers down his small frame. He was afraid of entering his own home,
weary of the dark emptiness inside. He took a few deep breaths before entering
the house with shaky steps. His solemn eyes looked ahead into the darkness with
a gaze full of awareness. He wasn’t used to seeing his house so empty and dark.
So... quiet. Usually his daddy would be home to greet him with a wide smile,
the warmth shining in his unique violet-blue eyes. He would kneel down to give
him a warm hug, no matter how long he was out- merely an hour or a full school
day. His daddy would always act like the happiest, silliest daddy in the world
when he saw him walk through the door.
How he missed that hug! That smile! That sense of
belonging in the arms of the one person who was his whole world. It’s not that
he didn’t love his mommy as much as he loved his father, but there was just
something very special when it came to how he felt for his daddy. He didn’t
really remember living with both his parents. He was very young when they
divorced and so he was used to being the center of his father’s world, the only
one his father saw when he was not working. The only one his father thought of.
The only one he fooled around with, bought presents to, told stories and
sometimes graced him with a goodnight lullaby, coating him with his warm,
honey-like voice before he went to sleep. He loved his daddy’s voice, which was
both sweet and coarse at the same time, just like honey.
How he longed ear ear that voice call his name for dinner
as he entered the kitchen. How he wanted to feel warm and gooey inside as he
walked into their kitchen to see his daddy standing by the stove- his
appearance a total mess after both cocking and work, a smudge of flower on his
cheek or nose and a silly large wooden spoon in his hand. He would wear that
STUPID apron mommy bought him once and along with his huge grin he would
complete a perfect picture of a perfectly silly daddy. His daddy. His one and
only in the whole wide world.
And where was that father now? Why was the kitchen dark?
Why did it still reek of the dinner they were having nearly three weeks ago?
Why was it still lying on the table, mostly untouched and rotting with a foul
smell? Why? Because his daddy left. He left in such a hurry that he didn’t even
let him finish his dinner. He just packed his things and left. Left to see that
Hero guy... left and didn’t come back...
Silent sniffling filled the dormant kitchen as the sobs
slowly worked up the child’s throat. He sat heavily in his chair, in front of a
moldy dinner, and wept in both sadness and fear. Fear of abandonment, and the
sadness of loss. He wished with all his might that this nightmare will be over
and his daddy will walk through his bedroom door, his long hair still messy
from sleep as he sweetly woke him up with a good morning kiss. A kiss that will
assure him that this had all been a bad dream... nothing more than a stupid
nightmare.
His crying only increased as a thought struck him and he
realized that this morning kiss might never happen... ever again.
*
* *
Morning came all too soon. Consciousness pushed the dream
aside and slowly began to sip in. Before he was aware if his own heartbeat, of
his own existence, there was one thing he felt - warmth. All around him,
beneath him and above him. Sweet, blesses warmth that engulfed him completely.
Heero’s warmth. Heero’s body. Warm, still alive.
The joy washed over him like the sun on the icecaps. There
was just no describing this feeling that flooded him from the inside, going
into his arms and making him draw the source of heat as close as possible.
Tears of joy filled his eyes as he drew the limp body closer, burying his face
between his neck and shoulder, nuzzling his nose against the steady pulse. His
arms held Heero tightly, as if embracing him for the first time. He drew closer
to him, pushing himself deeper into the living, yielding, flesh. His lips
sought to kiss every spot of warm and tender skin, every nook and cranny on
that wonderful body that breathed and pulsed the with rhythm of life.
He was so caught up in his joy, so blinded by this single
joyful moment, that it took him a few long moments to realize that the warm
body he was kissing, the soft lips he was nibbling with his own, were not
moving. Heero lay completely still, unresponsive to any of the stimulations Duo
bestowed on his nude body. He only realized this lack of response when he was
already on top of his lover, his hands rubbing up and down his slender arms,
and his tongue seeking a friend to play with inside the and moist craven.an>
He’d always dreamt of waking Heero with such a kiss, and
he always pictured in his mind how that shy tongue will slowly wake up and join
him, while a pair of lovely blue eyes will slowly flutter open and look up at
him adoringly. That kiss, however, still remained as nothing but a dream, for
the body beneath him continued to lie still, dormant as if caught in an endless
and inescapable sleep.
With a short gasp, Duo drew back, rising off his lover by
only a few inches. His wide and fearful eyes looked down at Heero’s still
features, while his heart began to throb painfully... with such anguish to each
pulse... that it nearly tore out of his ribcage. Suddenly, it was so, so,
painful to live. To keep his heart beating. Like there was no point to it. The
meaning of his heartbeats was lost at that moment, the moment he realized that
Heero was not waking up. He was not responding to his kiss. His pale and
parched lips were swollen from kisses, wet with his saliva, but so utterly
still. Lifeless, like he had been kissed by death himself.
Panic washed over him swiftly and he jumped back, afraid
and panting. Death himself... he no longer wished to carry that title... he
wanted to give life, not death. He wanted to bring hope and not suffering. He
wanted his kiss to awaken the sleeping beauty, not to steal the last breath of
air out of his lips. He was no longer death damn it!
But despite his will and wishes, fate dealt a completely
different hand. Heero’s fate was long decided and now it was sealed with a
kiss. A kiss of death. He knew in his heart, in his entire being, that no
matter how much he will kiss and beg his love to wake, he shall never open his
eyes. Yes, he was still breathing and his body was still warm, but not for
long. Unconsciousness was just a way for the brain to protect itself from a
painful death, right before it is flooded with sweet insulin that will engulf
the dying with dreams and illusion that will carry him to a peaceful death.
Heero was probably dreaming by now, maybe even truly happy for the first and
last time, before he will exhale his last breath.
This is it. He was really going to watch his love die.
It’s going to happen... all over again. The pain, the grief, the terrible
feeling of loss... and the longing! Oh the longing! The longing to touch him
again, to see him again... to hear his voice and simply have a nice and quiet
conversation. To hear him laugh... he hardly got the chance to see his face lit
up with laughter... To feel him and hear him, moaning and moving against him...
whispering a silent, honest, confession of “I love you...”. There will be no
more of that... none. Nothing. There’s going to be nothing. An hour... no… a
lot less... how long does it take for your body to just shut down and die? For
your brain to realize that there is no more supply of oxygen... that it was
really going to die..? How long does it take for a person to stop existing? To
realize that there is nothing to be done and one must leave his body... there’s
nothing that could save him... nothing to make him stay... no anchor to keep
him attached to his physical being... nothing he can grab onto, no matter how
many hands reached for him. There was nothing to be done against it.
Heero... he was going to leave him... He’s just lying
there on the bed... so still and lifeless and not aware of leaving the one
person who needed nothing more in the world than to know that he was there... A
man who was willing to give up on everything just to see those blue, blue, eyes
once more... A man who was standing there, helpless, frightened as a child,
watching his true love slowly depart the world of the living. How could he just
lie there and do nothing?! Why was he leaving so soon?! Why was he giving up?!
Why?!?!?!?
“Heero...” Duo cried, crawling back onto the bed, onto his
lover, grabbing him tightly by his arms and shaking him desperately. “Heero,
wake up... don’t leave me yet... Heero... we made a promise... we promised to
be together... I promised you... didn’t I? I promised... let me fulfill that
promise... Heero... please... I don’t want to let you down anymore... please...
let me prove to you... let me show you that I can make you happy... that you
make me happy... please Heero... please... wake up…”
He was still lying there, unmoving as a rock... his head
trashing from side to side as Duo shook him, but he didn’t open his eyes to
tell the longhaired man to stop. Tears dropped down Duo’s anguished eyes and
slid down Heero’s bare chest, but he didn’t raise his hand to wipe them away...
He was so still... so terribly still...
“... wake up...” He begged once more, weeping pathetically
as he buried his tear soaked face in Heero’s chest. His hands rose up to grab a
handful of that soft brown hair, pulling it hard as if the pain will jerk his
lover out of death’s crushing grip. “Heero...”
But it was to no avail. He could actually hear Heero’s
heart slow down. The soft throbbing under his ear getting fainter and
fainter... like a candle burning out.
“...don’t leave...”
He looked up at the still face again, his tearful eyes
staring desperately at closed eyelids, as if expecting them to somehow open.
“I was going to make you happy... we were going to be
together... I promised... I never lie... right Heero? I never lie...”
He couldn’t let it end like this. He just couldn’t. He was
not going to give his lover away into the hands of death just like that. Not
without a fight. Not without a desperate act and desperate measures. He will
not be beaten so easily. He will not give Heero away just like that. He refused
to even think about it!
His mind was suddenly working on overdrive, a sense of
purpose and determination taking over his entire being. He rose off the bed,
his movements swift and resolute. He slipped into his pants and then threw a
sheet over Heero’s nude body. He gently slid his arms underneath the
unconscious man, picking him up carefully, as if lifting a precious and fragile
jewel. He cradled the limp body in his arms, holding him protectively close. If
death will walk through the door right now, he will not be able to pry this man
out of his hold. He was there to stay.
His mind unwavering from its current track of thought, he
turned on his heels, tightened his embrace around Heero and began marching out
of the large room. Some patients actually bothered to lift their aching heads
off their pillows, sending a scrutinizing glance towards the determined young
marching towards the door, holding Heero in his arms. It wasn’t hard to notice
that beneath the thin and dirty sheet, the dying man was naked. Long legs and
slender arms dangled down lifelessly, swinging from side to side as he was
carried away. Some patients snorted in disgust at the sight of the thick white
fluid running down the young man’s thighs, before they turned back to their beds.
Duo saw none of that. He ignored the world completely as
he stalked out of the room and into the hallway. All he was aware of was the
weight in his arms and the warmth that tingled at his chest as Heero’s head
lolled forwards and rested on against his naked torso. He was halfway down the
stairwells that lead out of the hospital when he slipped a hand into his back
pocket and pulled out his cell phone. Pressing one of the Speed-Dial buttons he
pressed the machine to his ear and spoke coldly once he was answered.
“Doc, it’s me. I have a donor.”
*
* *
The suburban streets of L2- V08744
were silent and
empty, as the artificial dawn slowly flooded the streets with a faint light.
The colony couldn’t afford to have wild birds just yet, and even the sound of
crickets was rare inside the large metal casing. All was silent as morning welcomed another day,
only the early risers making their way down the main roads. The newly grown
vegetation that decorated the streets was the only movement seen on Gurewich
Ave, as green branches slowly wavered from side to side.
As the light slowly grew in intensity, washing over the
cold asphalt road that divided the street in half, the mailman performed his
daily route through the street, placing various letters in fancy mailboxes. He
dropped a particularly large package at house number 201, moving on quickly.
For the two hours that followed, the street was deserted. A few people walked
over to pick their mail or newspaper, including one young female officer who
went to take the mail for house no. 201, and then retreated back into the
house.
The street was silent all through the early morning hours,
until a small and lonesome figure slowly walked up the road. Small shoulders were
slumped and puffy blue eyes stared sadly at house 201. A quiet sigh escaped
small and trembling lips, a worried sigh carrying the sound of a child’s heavy
heart. It was a few more silent and motionless moments before small feet slowly
carried the child up into the house. He hesitated at the door, suddenly
attacked with unreasonable fear that he will not be welcomed in that house.
That there will be no one there to greet him. That he was forgotten.
It’s been a little more than two days since he ran away
from that house. Two days he spent hiding in his father’s house, in his home,
waiting with a heart full of hope that his father will miraculously walk
through the door and everything will be as it was before. But such a thing
never happened. The only ones to walk into the house were his mommy and the
policemen. He hid when they came, hiding under his father’s large bed until he
was sure that they were gone. He could hear his mommy crying when they left,
and his little heart filled with sadness. But he couldn’t go just yet. He
couldn’t leave his home just yet. He had to wait for daddy.
But two nights have past, two nights of being alone and
afraid in a large and empty house, and his daddy didn’t come. Not even a phone
call. He didn’t care that he ran away. He wasn’t worried. He wasn’t there. He
just... vanished. Without a trace. Eventually, Solo gave up and left his home.
He closed the door and didn’t look back as he walked down the street, making
the long trip back to his mommy’s house.
Now, standing at the doorway, he swallowed his pride and
his fears and just accepted being yelled at. He then turned the doorknob open
and stepped into the silent house. There was no smiling face or a loving hand
to welcome him. Just like in daddy’s house. He was almost crying by the time he
got to the kitchen, after walking through most of the house and seeing no one.
He wanted to call out for his mommy, but his voice failed him. He was
overwhelmed with fear, his lips trembling when the sobs began to crawl up his throat.
As he neared the kitchen, he became aware of a sound,
finally a sign of life. Someone was crying.
His little heart began to race frantically, fear nearly
crushing the young organ. He ran towards the source he she sound- towards the
kitchen - his mind racing with fearful thoughts. He came to a quick halt when
he reached the kitchen, his six-year-old mind not accepting well the sight of a
total stranger rising out of a kitchen chair- his chair no less! – and turning
towards him.
Wide and panicked blue eyes turned to scan the room
frantically, searching desperately for a familiar face. He ignored the strange
lady when she approached him, for some reason speaking into her phone and
reporting something that might have had to do with him. He couldn’t care less
who she was and what she was doing there, because at that moment his searching
eyes found his mother sitting at the edge of the kitchen table, her face buried
into her palms as she cried. Her back was shaking and she was making such
heartrending sobs, that immediately he was crying as well.
“Mommy..?” His small voice whispered as he stepped into
the kitchen, and the faltering whisper sounded so loud in the silence of the
house. “Mommy... what’s wrong..?” He repeated worriedly, slowly walking tow
hi
his weeping mother. He placed a small hand on her trembling shoulder, looking
up at her with tearful blue eyes. “Mommy... please don’t cry... I came back...
I’m sorry I ran away... mommy... don’t cry... please..?”
His fears grew by tenfold when she let out a heartbroken
sob and threw herself around him, scooping him swiftly off the floor and into
her arms. She hugged him tightly, pressing his face into her shoulder as she
buried her face in his sweet little head and cried even harder.
He was frightened beyond belief, unsure of what to make of
the sight of his mother crying. He could hear her rasping out his name over and
over between her sobs, and her hold on him was nearly bone crushing.
“He loves you, you know... he loves you so much... Solo...
he loves you so much...” She sobbed into his hair, shaking her head from side
to side, rubbing her tears against his messy chestnut hair. Her hold on him
clenched and unclenched, her whole frame trembling.
“Mommy...” He whispered in compassion, reaching a small
hand to pet her hair lovingly. He caressed her gently, trying to calm her as
his little fingers ran gently down her face, wiping away her tears. “Mommy...
what’s wrong..? Don’t cry... please don’t cry... It’s gonna be okay... I’m
here... and daddy’s gonna come back too... it’s gonna be okay...”
I MIGHT NOT BE COMING HOME
AGAIN. I GUESS THAT I’M STILL
THE FOOL YOU SAY I AM. I
JUST CAN’T LET HIM DIE LIKE THIS.
AS MUCH AS I LOVE ALL OF
YOU, I WON’T BE ABLE TO LIVE WITH
MYSELF KNOWING THAT I
FAILED HEERO AGAIN.
I KNOW SOLO WON’T UNDERSTAND,
BUT PLEASE TELL HIM THAT
I HAD TO DO THIS AND THAT
I’LL LOVE HIM ALWAYS.
HUG HIM FOR ME, OK?
LOVE, DUO.
END
MESSAGE.
Part 10.
Back.
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