Vindicated

Yes, it is I, back from the Dead!!! Nah, I’m just off of work and have some time to myself now. For now. Anyway, I know you guys have waited long enough but here it is, the next installment of Vindicated. Thanks to all of those who have been so patient and have waited for this update, trust me, I know it took me long enough. Well, you know me, I can’t say when the next one will be out, but I won’t give up on this fic, so if it takes longer than you think is worth waiting for, I want you to know that I didn’t give up or discontinue the fic. I’m busy and I really do try and update. I always begin my updates soon after the last chapter I’ve written, but I don’t end up finishing it until weeks later. But anyway, thanks to all of you that waited, I won’t waste your time anymore, so here goes.

Disclaimer: DB/Z/GT ain’t mine.

Vindicated Chapter 7: Flawed Conclusions

Goku stepped outside of his new apartment and inhaled the air into his lungs. Glad to be on his own without sulking, he smiled to himself happily as he pulled his spring jacket on and walked across his new lawn to the sidewalk. He had never lived in the city before but he knew he was going to like it there. Everyone was nice and happy nobody crabby or mean, at least not that he knew of. He rather liked the smell of fresh gasoline in the morning and sometimes it made him wish he had his own car.

He shrugged and continued on his way down the road not sure where he was going but a nice walk was the only thing on his mind at the moment. Maybe he would stop by a bakery and get some bread and sandwich fixings.

Come to think of it, he was hungry…

Ignoring his insatiable appetite for a minute, Goku’s mind drifted elsewhere. He wondered if he should have felt guilty being as happy as he was now. It was almost as if he weren’t supposed to be happy because someone else was upset. In the back of his mind he knew who that someone else was. Surely a man like Vegeta would be miserable all his life and he was wasting his time feeling bad but he couldn’t shake the thought of being happy while someone else was not.

Of course, Goku thought to himself, he couldn’t help it if Vegeta was unhappy. How did the man ever expect anyone to help him if he never wanted help?

The Prince made it painfully obvious that he didn’t care for or need Goku’s feelings or friendship.

“Will you be stopping by today again sir?”

Goku turned his head and looked down at the source of the voice to see the short old man who owned the bakery squinting up at him. He had been so absorbed in his thoughts that he almost passed the bakery.

“Oh! Uh, yeah, I was just a little preoccupied with something. So, got anything on sale today?” The old man gave him a crooked, grandfatherly grin.

“For you, hungry man, everything is on sale.” Goku laughed at the old man’s jib at his massive appetite but he didn’t mind at all. That was another thing he liked about living in the city, everyone was nice and a lot of food places gave him free stuff. For the first time in his life he met people who weren’t appalled by how much he ate, in fact the people here were delighted by how much he ate and always encouraged him to eat more and he certainly wasn’t complaining.

Despite his enthusiasm about the thought of food, Goku wasn’t as hungry as he let on but then that wasn’t surprising considering he lost his appetite whenever he let his thoughts take control. He followed the old man anyway and smiled. For the past two months life had been slow and somewhat satisfying and more relaxing than he had experienced in three years.

He had his own small 3-room apartment and enough money to last him another year, not that he was worried about that. Life was calm but nothing was new. He had tried to date but he scared away his fair share of women, either that or they wanted things from him he didn’t have to give. So far he had no luck in the romance department. ChiChi always told him he was never any good at that.

He was almost beginning to think that he was meant to be as miserable as Vegeta, but then again he had Bulma. A selfish little man in the back of his mind questioned if that was fair or not. Should Vegeta have been comforted by the presence of loved ones when he was not?

Goku had never been a selfish man but he was really starting to question fate and whether or not he deserved better. Surely Vegeta had it better than he did now and maybe he did his job. Somehow, someway, he made Goku as miserable as he was and Goku was willing to believe that it made the flame haired man happy in some way. Goku sneered to himself.

"What, you do not like cinnamon bread?" Goku blinked and looked at the old man. Apparently he had been scowling at the bread.

"No, no it looks good and smells great! I think I'll take that and go."

"That's it hungry man?"

Goku smiled and patted the old man on the shoulder. "I'm not feeling very hungry today." and with that he walked out of the small bakery, leaving the old man stunned and confused.

When he was outside he began his walk at a brisk sprint, suddenly eager to get home. Clutching his bread closer to him, he took off in the direction of the park. People smiled at him as he passed, all of them familiar with his presence; he gave them his plastic smile, something he had been doing a lot lately. For all of his thoughts about moving on and being happy he was still somewhat depressed about it all.

Truthfully, he had moved on but moving on and forgetting were two different things. He missed the way things used to be, before Chichi died and things got complicated. He missed his sons, he missed being happy and he hated it, but he also missed Vegeta. The way he used to be, before the beginning of his odd behavior.

Vegeta had been careless and rough with Goku and Goku didn’t mind at the time, but then Chichi died and his despair gave Vegeta a reason to treat him even worse. It seemed that no matter how callous and mean Vegeta was, he was the person Goku kept going back to to pour his heart out over his dead mate.

Goku had begun to notice the change in his attitude 6 years ago.

At first ignored the older man’s unnaturally coarse attitude, passing it off as a minor shift in the balance of his life. Maybe, he thought, people just appeared to be getting meaner because of the negative cloud of remorse and despair hanging over his head. Vegeta’s way of showing his opinion rather than saying it was getting up to leave in the middle of one of Goku’s ‘ChiChi Moments’, leaving the younger Saiyan alone and confused. He didn’t expect the Prince to reach out to him, but it didn’t mean that Vegeta’s behavior didn’t bother him.

Almost over the span of a week, Vegeta’s entire relationship with him changed. He regressed back to the uncaring bastard he was in the past until that day 6 years ago in the clearing where they normally sparred. Goku excitedly flew there, his mind eager to leave the memories of his dead wife alone if only for a few hours. They sparred as they usually did, and Goku could tell that he had something on his mind.

After more than a few minutes of awkward silence, Vegeta asked him something that confused him more than anything else had since he started acting weird. He asked him what he thought about him. Goku remembered hiking an eyebrow at the question. Vegeta never cared what anyone thought of him, especially least of all him.

Goku didn’t have an answer for him. He remembered the uncomfortable look on the older man’s face, like he was constipated or something, but he would never forget it. The next question actually made Goku smile. Vegeta wanted to know if they were more than friends. Of course they were! Not the best of friends, but Vegeta was definitely his companion.

He thought that his answer would get that sour look off of Vegeta’s face but instead it took the smile off of his. Apparently that wasn’t quite the answer he was looking for. Vegeta left him that afternoon, alone in the clearing, pondering what was going on. For the next four years Vegeta avoided him and after a few months, Goku gave up trying to talk to him. Life went on as usual for Goku, depressing days and even more depressing nights and Goku just decided that whatever was wrong Vegeta could just keep to himself because he didn’t want to talk, he had enough going on in his life to add the problems of an agitated Prince to it.

Of course, that day still bothered him. He couldn’t help but feel like Vegeta was trying to tell him something and that once again his stupidity got in the way and ruined things. He wasn’t sure what that something was, but now that he thought about it, it sure seemed like Vegeta was particularly angry at his ignorance, more so than he always had been. He wondered if maybe this---this thing---was his entire fault. Did he misread Vegeta’s reaction? Could he have really been so ignorant that he simply disregarded Vegeta’s strange behavior, passing it off as the Saiyan Prince just being a bastard? That…. was possible.

He stopped in the middle of the sidewalk to contemplate this. After all, he had been a tad harsh on Vegeta the last time he saw him, there was a possibility that he ruined his chance of ever finding out what it was that drove the two of them apart. But then again, did he really care?

Vegeta may have been a pompous selfish man that loved no one, not even himself, but Goku could have sworn that what he was trying to do that day was open up. He had been trying to tell him something and whatever it was, it sounded very important now that Goku thought about it.

It had been three years since he left the little house he and ChiChi used to share in the woods. He had been more than ready to move on with his life, never even considered stopping one minute to think about it. Why was he thinking about it now? Surely, it didn’t matter anymore; it was far too late to do anything about it. That didn’t mean it didn’t bother him. In fact, it made him consider everything that happened between he and Vegeta, really think about it, since the last time he saw the older man.

Vegeta did try to fix things; he returned after those four years and while he didn’t explain why he had been staying away from his rival, he did try to speak to him. He tried to make him understand something. But his pride got in the way. He got angry and left. Goku was confused and mad, Vegeta had played with him for the last time.

A year later, Vegeta came back, and he was the last person Goku wanted to see. He had some nerve crawling back to his house and demanding that he get his ass outside. So he hit him, knocking the Prince to his knees. He didn’t expect Vegeta to try again. He actually pleaded with him to talk, but Goku didn’t really feel like talking. He didn’t feel like playing and he didn’t feel like going through it all again.

He let Vegeta go, told him to turn tail and walk away because it was what was good for the both of them at that moment. He simply didn’t have the emotion to spare for silly games with the Prince of All Assholes and so he didn’t. He wouldn’t give Vegeta the chance to make him angry again, that day was the last time.

But he couldn’t help but wonder, what was it that Vegeta went out of his way for? Being punched in the face and made to feel awkward, what was worth that much to him? Why wouldn’t he listen?

It had to be something because Goku could see that he was having an internal struggle, standing in his doorway with his head down and his fists clenched, he wanted to say something he couldn’t say without sacrificing a great deal of his pride. Goku had thought that he was making his job easier by sending him away, but what had he really done? Was Vegeta as content and happy with his life as he thought he was?

Goku had a disturbing feeling that he was wrong. Dead wrong. Vegeta was not happy. And he knew in the back of his mind that he had a lot of something to do with it. He had never seen Vegeta like that, fidgety and awkward looking for all the world like he couldn’t configure his thoughts and turn them into words. He appeared nervous but Goku knew he just didn’t say certain things and some things he had been known to say in the past have sounded misplaced coming from him. Vegeta was never a man of many words so when he felt he had to say anything at all, it had to either be an insult, or…something else.

Emotion was not something the exuded from the Prince on a daily basis, everything about him was rough and caustic and this thought made Goku ask himself why he hadn’t been curious about that 3 years ago. It was certainly something to be taken seriously. Indeed Vegeta had changed to the point where some could say he no longer had the personality of a cactus, but Goku didn’t see it that way. To him, Vegeta had only changed enough for him to notice, and he fooled the rest.

Bulma thought her husband had changed for the better, but really all it was for him was an adjustment, a way to cope on Earth without going crazy with his disgust for the human race. Goku could give him credit for making a smooth transition from the way he used to be; he could see that over the years he was changing, even if it wasn’t for the sake of his family like everybody thought it was.

When it came to Vegeta’s feelings, Bulma got the short end of the stick. Vegeta never opened up to her a day in their relationship and spoke more to his sworn enemy about anything pertaining to himself, than he did to her. Goku always did like that special feeling it gave to him to be the only that truly knew Vegeta, it made him feel closer to him and even though Vegeta tried to kill him on numerous occasions, he trusted him enough to share things with him that he would never share with his wife.

Bulma knew little to nothing about the Prince, but married him in the hopes of getting him to change for her and fulfilling her life-long dream of finding the perfect mate. Vegeta was the farthest thing from perfect, but Bulma had been known to settle for less.

With Bulma, he was calm and quiet, never wanting to interact with his family more than he had to but when came to their sparring grounds looking for a way to vent his frustrations, he was alive and his actions spoke volumes that his words could never reach and Goku understood him.

Bulma never could.

He had never wanted to get into Vegeta’s business about his wife, but he often wondered what kept them together. During their spars, he could feel the intensity behind Vegeta movements and knew in the back of his mind that things weren’t so good at home. After making an attempt at small talk about this, he soon learned that it was not his place to ask. Vegeta had made that profanely clear.

His wife seemed happy; she had two children to show her efforts of trying to change him, but in the end, Trunks and Bra meant very little to him. Caring for someone and loving someone were two different things.

Vegeta didn’t love anyone. Bulma was wasting her time.

Vegeta came to him everyday to spar, and Goku looked forward to listening to his problems through his action because he would never voice them.

Nine years ago Goku had been confused. Something had changed in Vegeta, and it was obvious. He seemed more calm with his rival than ever before almost as if he were offering some sort of apology for the way things were before. Vegeta didn’t change much in the years he had been on Earth, but Goku knew him well enough to sense that he was different.

He smiled more often, not a heck of a lot, but for a man that never smiles, even once is more often than usual. He was more tolerable and for once, every other word that came out of his mouth wasn’t sarcastic comment or a nasty insult. Goku noticed that Vegeta only seemed to be this way with him. Bulma never experienced his smile; she never knew he could be attentive the way he was with him, and she probably never would.

Vegeta listened, quietly for the most part, when he spoke of his longing for his dead wife, and even then Goku didn’t know if he was doing it to be nice, or if he was too bothered to tell him to shut up. Whatever it was, Goku only noticed it as a minor change in who Vegeta was. Vegeta was still Vegeta and he had the same lust for fighting that made him—him. Eventually, that change had to come, he didn’t believe Vegeta could stay so miserable for the rest of his life, and perhaps he realized that.

For someone that was warming up to him, he sure spent a lot of time somewhere else.

Vegeta disappeared for two years, without a goodbye, or even so much leaving a hint as to where he was going. Bulma was insanely furious and Goku was curious, yet he never tried to locate him. Vegeta was Vegeta, and he did whatever and went wherever he damn well pleased and there was nothing wrong with that. As far as he was concerned, what Vegeta did was none of his business. Two years were like nothing to him, Vegeta would come back when he was ready to face whatever made him leave.

Sure enough, Vegeta had returned the same way he left, unprecedented and without greeting or explanation. He simply landed in the middle of the Capsule Corporation lawn, walked past his family and came straight to who he was looking for. It was odd that he went to Goku of all people first, odd but not surprising.

No one understood Vegeta better than he did.

Bulma was pissed of course, and jealous as she should have been. Goku didn’t know why Vegeta came to him first but he was not as interested in knowing that as he was in knowing where he went and why. It turned out that he only wanted to spar….

and then….

….that question.

That question was the last thing Vegeta said to him for the next four years.

Apparently, Vegeta wasn’t satisfied with his answer and left him in the dust, staying for what didn’t even seem like a moment. He returned to his home and it looked like he worked things out with Bulma, and avoided him for 4 years.

Goku, never one to push into anyone’s business, left well enough alone. If Vegeta didn’t want to talk to him anymore, then that was his choice, it wasn’t hurting anybody and certainly not him.

In the four years that passed, Goku almost forgot the man that he called a friend at one point, so lost in his loneliness and sadness to remember that for a few moments there was someone that made him forget about his misery at home. He spent all of his time crying or lying in his bed, smelling the familiar scent of happiness and company, things he no longer had. He was all alone again and he didn’t know why.

He should have been happy, he should have been able to cope better; he should have been stronger. But he wasn’t. He couldn’t be.

His children, off living their own lives, were the last people he wanted to bother with his problems and yet he didn’t know why he shared his pain with Vegeta, of all people. There was just something about the stoic man that made him feel like he had his attention, even if he didn’t have a whole lot of his sympathy.

Chichi had always been the most depressing, and quite frankly the only thing, he ever really spoke to Vegeta about. They never really spoke, aside from a jeer or a playful insult during their spar, other than that, he had nothing to say to Vegeta unless Vegeta had something to say to him which was not very often at all.

That day he asked that question, was the only thing Goku ever remembered him saying that pertained to their relationship, the only thing that let him know that he did indeed see them as friends. He was so sure that Vegeta only wanted to verify that, and so his answer was yes, they were friends.

He never did answer the initial question. He didn’t know what Vegeta meant by ‘more than a friend’ Vegeta wasn’t related to him, nor was he the kind of person Goku could turn to for real support and feedback about anything. Simply put, Vegeta was just his friend.

So why did that answer upset him so much?

Whatever reason Vegeta had, Goku didn’t want to be bothered with dancing around the angry man to find out. He found himself a place in a quiet area of the city and settled down, still lonely, but he was content for the moment and that was all that counted. Except now he had something new bugging him, something that just wouldn’t leave him alone. He couldn’t go the rest of his long life knowing that there was a possibility that he had done something wrong. He made a mistake and hurt someone without even knowing how or why, and that was something his pure heart couldn’t lay to rest. He wasn’t going to sit day and night and wonder what it was that Vegeta meant or what he was trying to tell him. If it was so important to him, then it must have been worth hearing at the very least.

Goku stopped at his front door, although he didn’t remember having walked there, and looked down. Was it too late? They had been apart for 2 years, then 4, three more couldn’t have made so much difference. He figured he deserved a chance to find out, just as he had given Vegeta a chance to tell him.

He wasn’t sure if it was curiosity or that he genuinely gave a shit about what the shorter man had to say, he only knew that he had to know if this was affecting Vegeta the way it was affecting him and if it was, what he would do about it.

He would listen to what Vegeta had to say this time, he just hoped the Prince still wanted to tell him.


TBC……

Yeah, for taking as long as I did to update, you guys must be thinking that I have some nerve not to put up a longer chapter than this here, but trust me, I was done with Goku for the moment. J