Changes of the Heart

GW and its characters don\'t belong to me but to
Sunrise/SOTSU Agency, Bandai etc.etc.

 

Chapter 8 of Choices of the Heart...angst, sap, lime.

 

 

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It took Quatre only a few moments for the entire
situation he had just seen to register. He felt himself growing angry at them
for having touched Relena in such a way, when he had already made up his mind
that from now on he would be the only one to touch Relena so intimately, to
make love to her and to care for her and protect her. Yes he was angry, but as
a gentleman, one must temper their anger with civility.

"I do not believe we are in need of either of your
services anymore gentlemen." He simply stated.  "You have
vacation time and severance pay coming to you and you shall of course receive
that, but as of now I give you two an hour to vacant the premises." 

"Don\'t do this Quatre."  Trowa said trying
to stare the blonde man down, but was surprised that he met his gaze back with
just as much intimidation. 

"It wouldn\'t surprise me Trowa if you were the
instigator in all of this."

"It\'s not as if Relena is innocent in this
situation."

Quatre found himself not recoiling from Trowa\'s attack
but being fueled by it.  "No, Trowa, she isn\'t. But I will deal with
her in my own way, so I suggest you not speak ill of her again in my
presence." 

Trowa nodded his head quite proud that his soon to be
former lover was defending Relena. He would be leaving her in good hands.

Quatre\'s glare switched to Heero. "I don\'t know what
to say to you Heero. Despite wanting to hurt you now I can\'t find it in myself
to hate you. I guess all of us should have known that upon entering this deal
that all of us would eventually get hurt." 

 Heero\'s eyes narrowed and his voice was tense.
"And what makes you think Quatre, Relena will only want you." 

Quatre\'s strained smile quivered.  "I don\'t
know if she will. But it is a chance I am willing to take." 

Heero almost smiled. He was seeing the Quatre he had not
seen since the war. A young man who was bold and strong despite his fears, not
afraid to lay everything on the line to protect what was his or what he loved,
even if the odds were staked against him. He was now the type of man that
Relena really needed.

You\'ve always been the strongest out of all of us Quatre.
You really have." He said making his way to the backroom to begin to pack.

"Then it appears you\'ve made your choice
Quatre."

Upon hearing Trowa\'s words Quatre turned back to his
lover and reached out to take his hand. "Please Trowa. Do not think it is
because I do not love you. I do so very much, but things are different
now."  

Trowa wrenched away his hand, time for another test
Quatre, he thought. "Yes I know, the baby. You\'re obligated to it and
her now aren\'t you." 

Quatre grew angry and raised his voice.  "I
meant my feelings have changed.  I simply love Relena more than anything
in this world, even you. And that is why I\'m staying with her."

Trowa turned away knowing that Quatre spoke the truth and
that he had indeed fallen deeply in love with Relena. All three of them had,
only it was Quatre who would get to keep her. "I\'m glad to hear that you
love her. I can see you\'re being true to your heart."

Quatre wiped away a few stray tears from his eyes.
"It\'s not a decision I\'ve come across lightly Trowa." Quatre said
hanging his head and trying not to cry.  "It\'s actually something
I\'ve been thinking about for the last year. But I suppose I wanted to hold onto
you for as long as I could. But now I realize it\'s time to step out of this
play land we\'ve created and let go of you and start acting like a real man, a
real husband and a real father."

Quatre caught his breath somewhat feeling himself locked
in Trowa\'s embrace. "I understand Quatre. I would leave you as well if I
had even had a chance to keep her by my side." Quatre felt the space
between them now as Trowa headed towards the door.  "Take care of
yourself, and her Quatre. She can only bring you happiness."

"Yes, I know Trowa. And I will do everything in my
power to protect that love." There was silence now and Trowa would soon be
gone for good. Quatre grasped his own arms around him to stop his shaking.

Heero came walking out of the back room, duffle bags in
tow. "I left the keycards on the dresser." 

"Thank you Heero. I..."

Heero stopped his words.  "I heard what you
told Trowa so I can accept how things must be. Relena is your wife after all
isn\'t she?" 

"Yes Heero, Relena is "my" wife."
Quatre said in a tense and possessive tone. 

Heero\'s voice was once again threatening. "But let
me tell you Quatre, if Relena ever comes to call for me I will return for
her."

"If I am making her so unhappy that she must need
you then I beg you to come take her. But I assure you she will never have
reason to want you back"

Heero acknowledged his statement with a nod, he had to
swallow before he spoke, never in his wildest dreams did he ever think he would
be leaving Relena forever. His heart was breaking and it was the worst pain he
had ever felt in his entire life and he could no longer look at Quatre, but
instead hurried past him. "Say good-bye to Relena for me, let her know I
still love her."

Quatre finally was able to release the breath he had been
holding. "Good luck Heero. Part of me will miss you."

Several secopasspassed with Quatre standing alone in
Heero\'s house when panic brought him back from his numbing void. He then
remembered how distraught Relena had been. He left the residence and started to
make his way back up to the estate. 

 

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Instead of going back to their room Relena instead had
grabbed her keys and jumped into her car.  Heero and Trowa had been her
security detail and they of course were not around to stop her. She had no idea
where she was going at the moment, only that she needed to get away.  She
wiped away tears that were blurring her vision as she tried to drive. A few
times she had went almost off of the road but somehow managed to stay on it.
Minutes felt like hours until she had reached her desired designation. 
Through her blurred vision she looked up at the huge white manor, shaking and
cold.

 

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"What do you mean she\'s left?" &qu "She was quite upset sir, she just got into her car
and drove off.

Quatre\'s lips were quivering again but this time in fear
along with anger; he then realized that he was holding the butler against the
wall by his shirt neck, his feet off of the floor; Quatre placed the man down
and apologized.  "I know it\'s not your fault Simon...I\'m sorry. It\'s
just Mrs. Winner ..."

He then broke down as he sat on the bottom of the steps
in fear and desperation. He had never been a religious man but he found himself
praying now to Allah, God or who ever it was up in heaven to watch after his
wife and child.  He knew her mind as well as his and he also knew she no
doubt was beating herself up with guilt and self-hatred, feeling unworthy of
him, of her people.  No doubt she did fear the unknown of what would
happen next and hurting like hell because of the fear. He rose from the steps.
There was in fact one place that she may have gone to.  "Simon. Me
and Mrs. Winner will most likely be home late tonight so there is no need to
wait up for us."  Simon bowed and acknowledged his master\'s order.

 

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Milliardo had to admit that he was quite shocked at
seeing his sister showing up on his doorstep looking haggard and disheveled,
distraught and in pain. But holding her to him now as she sobbed the story to
him he began to get angry with the men that had dared toy with his sister\'s
life. He had known about the whole plan from the beginning and had tried
talking Relena out of such an idea, but he knew Relena and once her mind was
made up there was virtually no changing it. But then who was he to judge
anyone\'s love life. He had lost the only person that had made sense in his life
when he had refused to show his own feelings to Lucrezia.

He waved away the maid who had brought in the tea and gingerly
pried his sister away from him so that she was sitting up straight beside him
on the loveseat. He took a cloth napkin from the tea tray and began wiping her
eyes and nose.  "You can of course stay here for as long as you need
to." 

Relena sniffled. "I shouldn\'t be bothering you like
this Milliardo. It\'s not your problem." 

Milliardo furrowed his brow and took his sister by the
shoulders.  "Your entire life I\'ve never been able to be a brother to
you, Relena. Please. Let me be a brother to you now by allowing me to help
you...take care of you if need be." Relena opened her mouth to speak but
the ringing of the doorbell cut off her words.  Milliardo patted his
sister\'s knee. "Have some tea Relena and try to relax. I\'ll go see who it
is."

Milliardo growled to himself knowing that whoever was at
the door had toe bee been one of them if not all three of them. He vowed he
would personally throw them all out if he didn\'t like what they had to say. He
saw Quatre standing in the foyer having been let in by the butler. 
"What is it you want?" Milliardo almost snarled. 

Quatre refused to back down. "I know Relena\'s here
because her car is out front. Let me talk to her." 

Milliardo curled his fists. "You\'re making some
demands aren\'t you for not being in your own house."

Quatre ran his fingers through his own hair. 
"I apologize Milliardo. It was rude of me. But I\'m desperate to speak to
Relena."

The taller blonde folded his arms across his chest.
"Why?" 

Quatre looked up at him his eyes pleading. 
"Because I love her." 

Milliardo felt himself begin to soften as he stared back
at Quatre who continued to speak.  "Please Milliardo. I realize I\'m
going to speak out of terms again in your house but I do believe you understand
what it means to have second chances at love." 

Milliardo hung his head and sighed with a brief memory of
Lucrezia.  "She\'s in the parlor." 

“Thank you." Quatre breezed past him but was stopped
when Milliardo placed a hand on his shoulder. 

He leaned over to speak in his ear.  "Hurt her
anymore Quatre and I swear..." 

"I understand." Quatre spoke through clenched
teeth. "But let me tell you this, sir. I\'ve been pushed beyond my limits
already today so let me go now before I loose what self containment of my anger
I have left."  

 A little taken aback having never seen Quatre in
such a vile and volatile mood Milliardo eased his grip enough for Quatre to
shrug him away.

Relena sat in the corner of the loveseat curled in a
ball. She had tried to poor herself tea but found her hands were shaking to
badly.  Her tears began to flow again.  "Oh my God what have I
done? I\'ve ruined my life. I\'ve ruined Quatre\'s life...and Heero\'s...and
Trowa\'s…my baby’s" Her sobs became muffled as she laid her face onto her
curled knees.  "Please, please I just want to die." 

“You shouldn\'t say such things when you have your whole
life in front of you to live.&q


Relena gagged on a sob hearing Quatre\'s voice.
Immediately she swallowed her tears and sorrow, outwardly but not inwardly. Her
self taught motto of never letting anyone seeing you cry kicked in and with as
much dignity as she could muster and with the grace that she had always carried
herself with she uncurled her legs and rose from the couch.

She dried off her tears with the napkin and smoothed back
her hair and straightened her skirt before turning around to face him. Quatre
looked upon her now, standing tall and regal despite her red-rimmed eyes and
tired flushed face. He knew that she had turned on her tough girl front, a
front that she mostly reserved for the times during exasperating and tiring
negotiations to maintain her cool and calm exterior.

No one but Quatre knew how fragile and sensitive she
really was and even he had felt that she had been forced to remain composed so
much so that she had forgotten how to show her weakness and fears, even to her
best friend. Quatre\'s heart went out to her. Had she forgotten that with him it
was possible for her to be a normal human being full of vulnerabilities and
flaws? 

"Relena. We need to talk."  He saw her
swallow hard before beginning to approach him to take a place standing before
him; she was twisting and pulling at her wedding ring.

"Yes I suppose you would want this back."
Relena\'s hope of a dignified and quick confrontation and exist was extinguished
when she found the ring on her finger was stuck, her fingers swollen from the
constant nervous wringing of handsands.  She sniffled and sobbed somewhat
feeling her tough outer exterior beginning to crumble.  "I, I, I\'m
sorry...I can\'t seem to...damn it!" She spun around away from him in an
attempt to swallow her forming tears of embarrassment and despair before he
could see them.  "I can\'t get it off!"

He watched with a heavy heart as her body began to shake
with what he knew was an internal battle between composure and release. My
dearest Relena, he thought. It breaks my heart to see you like this.
"I\'m glad you can\'t take off the ring." 

Relena hiccupped suddenly hearing his words. 
"Don\'t be ridiculous Quatre. You came here to tell me it was over between
us...didn\'t you?"  Her body went stiff feeling the contact of his
skin to hers as he took her hand.  "Relena. Turn around and look at
me." Relena could have sworn his soft words sounded commanding. She
hesitantly turned around only to be pulled forward into his embrace. Quatre
held onto her tightly, one hand was gently stroking her hair, pressing her head
firmly against his chest; his head resting atop hers he spoke. 

"I don\'t want it to be over between us.  I love
you Relena. I love you."  The feeling of time standing still hit
Relena, causing his words to hit her slowly, disbelief washing over her.

"What about Trowa? You love him." 

"I told him to leave. I no longer need him
Relena...or want him.  I only want and need you."

Relena closed her eyes, this wasn\'t happening. 
"You\'re a fool Quatre for letting me come between you two. I\'m not worthy
of that sacrifice."  

Quatre knit his brows together somewhat exasperated that
she could find it hard to believe that she had become the most important thing
of all the earth and colonies to him clo closed his eyes to calm himself. 
"I sent Heero away too. I\'m saying good-bye for him and, that he loves
you."

"Heero\'s gone?" Silent tears began to drop once
again from her eyes; she had never imagined her life without Heero. Shouldn\'t
she be furious at Quatre for making that decision for her? No, she
thought, Heero would not have left if he had not felt it was for the best.
He’s telling me the right place to be is with Quatre. And right now that
is what my own mind, and heart are telling me. I’m deeply in love with
this man before me, by my husband is where I want to always remain.

"You\'re not angry at me then?" 

"No Quatre. But after what I am about to tell you,
you may change your decision to be with me." 

A thin smile crossed his lips relieved that there seemed
to be only one obstacle left in front of them.  "If it\'s about the
past you share with Trowa, I already know. I\'nownnown since the night of our
wedding." 

"Huh?" Relena squeaked out true surprise as she
pulled away from Quatre and looked up at him with a look of disbelief. 
"How, did you...?"

Quatre\'s tender smile was still on his lips. 
"Are you forgetting I was there with you two? I wasn\'t completely passed
out at the time. I saw and heard everything that went on between you and
him." 

"And you didn\'t saythiything?"

"I never felt it was my place and at the time it
didn\'t matter. Even now it\'s just a little piece of your past and today I want
to make the past irrelevant to what our future holds." He continued to see
the confused look in her eyes; she still didn\'t quite believe him.

He cupped her face with his hands and raised his voice
just barely enough so as to get her jolted out of her daze.  "Look at
me Relena. Listen to what I am telling you.  I love you damn it, now, and
forever. There will never be anyone else for me." 

Relena heard his words and knew he meant everyone of
them, but then why did she still doubt him?  "But Quatre I..."

Quatre could no longer take it.  Shit woman,
he thought, what is it going to take? He hoisted Relena in his arms
ignoring her question of what he was doing and after a few steps they were in
front of the loveseat where Quateposeposited Relena on her back he would prove
to her he loved her even if it took all night.

"Quatre I asked you what..."

He sealed his mouth over hers to stop her forthcoming
words, breaking the kiss after a couple of seconds, his stern commanding tone
returning as he whispered in her ear. 

"Be quiet wife and let your husband make love to
you." Relena\'s heart jumped at his words, never had he been authoritative
with her, so boldly lustful with her.  Her eyes widened with her sudden
realization that Quatre did in fact truly and honestly love her. 

"Yes husband, make love to your wife, only do not
deny her of doing the same to her husband."

Quatre smiled warmly at Relena\'s teasing words.
"Never will I deny her anything", he breathed into her ear before
continuing his feasting of her body."

"Relena is everything..." Milliardo stopped his
inquiry and his steps that would have taken him into the parlor. Upon seeing
what he was seeing he swallowed his big brother instincts and rationalized
that, after all they were married and Relena was a grown woman. He took a step
back and closed the double doors to the room. He stopped his butler in the
hall.  "Tell the staff that the parlor is off limits for at least
an"-mn, he thought how long would a make up love session take-"an
hour no, make it two, no the rest of the night and tell Rhoda that the loveseat
in there will need shampooed tomorrow"-wait, his thoughts attacked
him again, this is a make up love session-"hell just tell her to
shampoo every piece of cloth furniture in there, even the carpets." 

 "And sir, where shall you be if you are
needed?"

Milliardo took a deep confident breath. "I\'ll be in
mn man making a very important call. I don\'t want to be disturbed if at all
possible."

 "Very good sir." Milliardo\'s steps were
light as he hurried to his study, his thoughts returning. Maybe there was still
a chance to reconcile with Lucrezia and get her back after all.

 

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 Trowa stood behind Heero in the tickine ine at the
shuttle bay.  "Going back to L1 for awhile?" 

"Don\'t know where else to go." 

 "The manager always needs extra clowns." 
Trowa controlled his laughter at Heero\'s reaction to his joke. 

 "I hate clowns." 

"I do hope I\'m an exception."

"Just barely." 

Trowa\'s thoughts took a more serious turn.  "You\'re
really going to miss her aren\'t you?" 

"Like you won\'t." 

"But it is for the best." 

"Yes. It is."

Heero turned from Trowa glad that at moments like these
his friend could be just as detached and as private as him, though he knew that
between them, there would be plenty of tears and regret over it later once they
were out of the public eye.

Trowa wrapped an arm around Heero. "We do have lot\'s
of money between our vacation and severance pay. We could chill out somewhere,
have some fun-but just as friends, at least for a little while and then see
where we really stand with each other."

Heero found himself up at the ticket counter. 
"Hey Trowa. I hear the beaches of L2 are just as nice as the one\'s here on
earth." 

"Sounds good, but what do we tell Duo if we run into
him?" 

"We don\'t have to tell him jack shit." This
time Trowa did laugh and Heero turned his attention to the ticket clerk. 
"Two tickets to L2 for your earliest flight. First class. One way."

 

 TBC...