Tourniquet | By : DementedGosip Category: Gundam Wing/AC > Yaoi - Male/Male Views: 982 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0 |
Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing/AC, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story. |
~*~Tourniquet~*~
I followed them
down halls and stairs alike, staying about four feet
behind them. I felt like I was left behind, but at the same time I felt
comforted by the distance. We walked by so many turns and staircases
that
I had no idea where we had started. Being so preoccupied, so confused,
and not having to be on alert 24/7, it keeps me from committing all
surroundings
to memory. I've unconsciously let myself relax. I'm not sure that's a
comfort
like it should be. I feel more on edge now than I ever did during the
war.
But then again,
it was much easier to hide then. Being suicidal is a
natural element in a war, when you’re fighting. Being withdrawn and
obsessed
with completing a mission is never glanced at twice. Everyone is so
confused,
so busy, so self-involved. But in peace, all the grimy shit becomes
more
obvious, and people start to notice at just the worst moment possible.
If I had been able to continue acting the way I did during the war, do
you suppose they would have noticed me sooner? Or just ignored me more?
Most likely the latter.
I stopped when
Duo and Quatre started walking different directions.
Which way was I supposed to go? Why did they go different directions?
Is
Duo lost?
"Heero? Quatre's
getting Trowa, remember? This way." Duo grabbed my
hand and we walked like that down the last few halls and a final
staircase
into a large dinning room. We walked through a door on the far wall
from
where we entered and walked into a huge kitchen, island tables
scattered
throughout.
"Well, well,
good morning sleeping beauty." (1) The woman sitting at
a small coffee table to my left smiled up at me and Duo; unnerving
really.
Wait, what did she just call me? What the fuck? Sleeping Beauty? Isn't
that some kids’ story? Why the hell......?
"Heero, she was
just joking. There's no reason to get so confused."
Confused? Do I look confused? No, this isn't confusing, that damned
psyche
test was confusing. And then I fucking looked back through the damned
thing
and made sure all the little rectangles were filled in all the way, not
too light, never going out of the lines. No, I'm not meticulous; not at
all. (2)
She wasn't all
that pretty. Surprising really, if you're going to make
a person in a lab you'd think you'd have it truly perfected. Or maybe
they
wanted imperfection, like the real stuff. She had dark brown hair that
seemed to shine a light golden color, dark eyes, and tanned skin.
Almost
the complete opposite of Quatre really. (3)
"So is it time
to eat now? I'll make some soup and sandwiches. I'll
make you some toast instead of a sandwich Heero- Oh! How rude of me!
I'm
Basma Winner, it's a pleasure." She reached out her hand, a large smile
on her face. It made me want to throw up. But so as not to seem rude,
what
a shame that would be, I reached out and grabbed her hand. What
happened
next I was no where near prepared for. She tightened her grip on my
hand
and pulled me close, hugging me.
I couldn't
breathe. Why? Why did she do that?! Get way from me! Let
go! I tried to push away but she wouldn't let me; I could hear Duo
telling
her to let go.
"Please! Let go
of me! Let GO! I can't- *gasp* can't breathe!" Finally
she let go, although rather reluctantly. I fell down to the floor, my
legs
giving way to my weight. Duo was down in front of me, a worried look on
his face. He used one hand to hold me up from behind, resting on my
back,
the other hand rubbed circles on my face. I wanted to cry. Quatre made
me feel so awkward, but Duo made me fell like I was going to shatter in
a thousand pieces, but that felt good-in a morbid scene. I didn't want
to leave Duo, I didn't want him to let go. He pulled me up onto my
feet,
keeping one arm around my shoulders, a bit awkward since we were about
the same height. When my breathing returned to normal, Quatre and Trowa
decided to make their entrance.
"What's going
on? Heero? Are you alright?"
"He's fine
Quatre, just fine." Her voice sounded cold and snipped, even
to me.
Duo took a step back and was going to remove his arm. I reached up
my hand, grabbing his and keeping his arm around my shoulders, "No...
please,
Duo." I chanced a look up at him; he was smiling sweetly, happy to
oblige.
He squeezed my shoulder and leaned in a little closer to me, causing me
to blush lightly.
"I'm fine,
Quatre. Trowa."
"Heero." Trowa
tried to make eye contact, but I just kept my eyes on
the door behind him, I didn't want to look him in the eye; it was too
hard.
Duo turned me
around and pushed me down lightly into one of the chairs.
I was still blushing. He pulled one of the other chairs close to me,
maybe
a few inches apart and sat down. He pulled a basket that was in the
middle
of the table close, pulling out a small black box. Pushing the basket
back
he opened it and revealed the black and white marble chess pieces. The
gray streaks reminded me of lightning, jagged, unpredictable lines that
cut through everything without a care in the world.
I picked up the
king and queen first, putting the king on the left of
the middle spaces, the queen next to it. (4) It reminded me of Relena.
No matter what everyone thought, or thinks, I always felt Relena
protected
me more in the war than I did her. Even though I was the one fighting,
she stayed strong, physically, emotionally, in every way she was strong
for me. Almost more or so than Duo.
Setting up the
bishops, nights, rooks, and finally pawns, I looked up
and met Duo's eyes. He smiled and told me it was my turn. I looked down
and realized he was right-I was white.
Trowa and Quatre sat down shortly after, glancing at Duo and I every
once in a while; they probably suspected we had a special relationship.
Don't they get it? He feels guilty, he feels like it was his fault I
tried
to kill myself, that he could have prevented it. Ha! What a joke,
besides,
why else would he be acting so nice and all? That has to be the reason;
he doesn't want to 'fail' again, so he's keeping a closer eye on me.
I hope Wufei
doesn't do something similar. As much as it hurts that
he reacted the way he did, I'd rather have him act like that then be
touchy
feely nice like Duo. But with Duo it's different, because I’ve always
wanted
this. So what if I have a slightly double handed way of getting it? So
what if I'm just fooling myself by doing this?! I'll do what I want.
"Here's you're
food." I dropped the bishop I was holding at her voice.
It had been so quiet, but now all I could hear was the jingle and
tinkle
as the marble hit the floor and rolled across the tile. I jumped off
the
chair and scrambled to pick it up, examining it for cracks, dents or
chips-eventually
sighing in relief when I didn't see any.
Before sitting
back down I looked Duo in the eye; it had seemed he was
the only one I was able to do that to. "Duo, can we.... uhm, go
somewhere?"
I kept my voice as soft as I could so that he would still be able to
hear
me. He smiled and I felt a light weight lift off of me, glad that he
didn't
mind. I picked up my glass and plate, being sure to balance it in a way
that the bowl didn't clank. Duo picked up his, dismissing the sound. He
flipped a careless smile at the others and said we'd bring our dishes
back.
We walked over
to a door near the opposite side of the kitchen which
led to a small hallway. It must have been ten feet long, and we exited
the house through the farthest. We walked off the deck, ignoring the
table
set up and sat underneath a tree with roots sticking up out of the
ground.
I sat down on a rather large root, getting as comfortable as something
like that would allow. Duo leaned up against the trunk and slid down,
bringing
chips of the bark down with him.
It was nice out; the clouds were light gray, bumpy in areas. A cool
breeze was about, not enough to really do anything however, and sitting
in the shade was even better. These were the pros. However, being
outside
meant there were bugs. An ant tried to crawl onto my plate. I flicked
it
away. There was the most annoying bird 'singing' on the roof of the
deck.
I could see a spider crawling up the tree trunk. Fucking
nature....
I sipped at my
soup with a spoon, not bothering to blow. I enjoyed the
slight burn it left while traveling down my throat. The toast, however,
I had no intentions of touching. I hate this kind of bread-the kind
being
rye bread, I mean. Didn't she suggest toast to make sure my stomach
stayed
eased? Wouldn't rye bread just upset it more? Oh well, the point is,
I'm
not eating it. I went to take a sip of my water, but placed it back on
the ground when I noticed there was a chip of bark in it. No way in
hell
was I going to drink that now.
"Here." Duo held
his glass up to me, half empty already.
"No thank you."
Apparently he wasn't satisfied. He held the glass up
to my lips and I took what I planned to be a sip but Duo tipped it,
causing
it to become a full fledged drink.
"That wasn't so
hard now was it?"
"Yes, it was as
a matter of fact, I feel rather sick now."
"Wha? Do we need
to go inside? I can take you back to your room, and
you can rest and we'll put your stuff away later-"
"No, I'm fine,
really." I moved so that I was sitting next to Duo-half
my ass was still on the root, causing a rather awkward feeling. I laid
my head down on his shoulder, and closed my eyes. He wrapped his arm
around
my shoulder, causing me to not only blush, but smile slightly. I leaned
further into him, tipping my glass of water over. I was going to rush
forward
and place it back upright, however, Duo's grip tightened keeping me
there.
"Don't leave me,
Heero.... Please?"
"Hai... Duo-kun"
We just talked
after that. Never keeping one topic for too long. I know
if I looked back at his time, tried to remember what we talked about, I
would never remember. It's conversations like that that I love, you get
an emotion when you look back, not really remembering any details, just
an overall scene.
I just can't
help but wonder though… will I ever have a feeling like
this again? Is this what it feels like to be content? No. I know that
if
Quatre or someone were to walk out here, I would jump away from Duo. If
you can't fully accept and comprehend something, then you can't be
content,
right? That's the way it works sometimes, right? You either have one or
the other, never both.
I suppose that's
a good way to describe anything. Or maybe not, that
would defeat the meaning of a yin-yang right? Because that represents
unity
in all aspects. That there is no line, right?
Will you unify
me Duo? Or will I recede further into myself after all
this is over?
I'm such a fuck
up. I don't make any sense, not even to me.
~oOo~ TBC ~oOo~
1) I hate it
when my mom does that to me....... I'm sleep deprived,
meaning I don't get ENOUGH of it, why would she say that?!
okie.........
anyhoo.....
2) Yay, I used a
vocab word....... *sigh* I remember when I had vocab
words like 'school', 'friend', and 'house'.
3) I don't
believe Quatre actually ever found out he wasn't a test tube
baby...... I'm fairly sure he didn't...... Both Iria and his father
died
before they could, right? Well.... we all know he actually had a real
mother.
^_^
4) I always put
the king on the left; does it really make a difference?
^^;;
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