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Lonely Desire	By : Petya Category: Gundam (all others) > General Views: 12076 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own the Gundam series, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 7
- 8
- 9
Pairings: Athrun x Kira,

Disclaimer: I don't own anything of Gundam
SEED. :( I am just borrowing the characters
and the universe.

Warnings: NC-17. This fanfic
contains male/male relationship(s). And this chapter contains LEMON. Yup, it�s the promised AsuKira.

Comments: I have an editor now, he
reads the chapters and corrects
my mistakes. Thanks Dem. And thanks to AsuKira for editing my Japanese.

Chapter
EIGHT

Yume no Naka ni� [In a Dream�]

It was way past midnight when Athrun stepped in the room he shared with Kira. He didn�t turn the lights on, since he didn�t want to
wake the other boy up. He just used the small lamp for reading next to his bed,
quickly undressed and showered. When he exited the bathroom he noticed that Kira was dreaming and it seemed that nightmares were
torturing him. The brunet was mumbling under his breath and Athrun
had to listen carefully to hear what was he saying yet he only made a few words
out.

�No� don�t kill them�! �Fllay�,
that girl�, Uzumi-san�! �dead�! Athrun,
don�t die!�

Athrun considered waking him up, but thought better
of it. He just caressed Kira�s hair and softly
started to calm him down. �Daijobu, Kira! Minna daijobu
da! Shizuke yo!� [It�s all
right, Kira! Everyone�s fine! Calm down!] Slowly Kira�s body eased and his sleep became more relaxed, his
breathing even and after one last stroke more for himself than for his beloved Athrun let the boy sleep.

He went to bed turned off the lamp and stared
in the dark shadows until sleep claimed him, his last thought that he would
tell Kira his feelings once they woke up and let
events unfold as they wish.

He felt Kira�s firm
body next to his and could inhale his scent, feel his heat� The gentle curve of
the brunet�s neck felt so nice on his arm. Somewhere in the back of his mind Athrun didn�t want to wake up. He wished he could continue
this dream and see where it led. Yet another part of his mind urged him to come
to his senses. He tried to fight that annoying reasonable part but he was
losing the battle and his eyes slowly and unwillingly fluttered open. The sky
was starting to brighten in the east and things were recognizable. He shut them
again.

That was impossible. I was not a dream. Kira was in his
bed! Or was he in Kira�s? He concentrated and studied
his surroundings careful not to move and wake the boy next to him. Yes, it was
his bed. Obviously at some moment the other boy had unconsciously snuggled in
as he used to do four years ago. It seemed that his body still remembered and
sought the comforting warmth of his friend.

Kira was lying atop the left half of Athrun�s body, his belly at the
blue-haired�s hips and his left leg between Athrun�s. Kira�s head rested on
the younger boy�s upper arm and his hand was on the chest of his �pillow�.

Athrun lifted his free hand and tenderly caressed the
strands that were lying on the pillow and on his arm. They were as soft and
silky as he had always imagined them to be. His head bent slightly and his lips
touched the soft hairs. Their scent filled his nose and hit his brain sending a
wave of pure desire down his spine. This was a torture yet a sweet one and he
wished he could stay like this forever.

Kira murmured something in his sleep and his body
pressed tighter onto Athrun�s. The younger boy tensed
his muscles straining to keep himself from reacting to that tease. Kira�s lids fluttered tickling the green-eyed�s skin and a pair of hazed from the sleep amethyst
eyes locked Athrun�s gaze.

�Mata� kimi wa� boku no yume
no naka ni�� [Again� you�
in my dream�] Kira said those confusing words and his
hand that was resting on Athrun�s chest started
tracing small circles on the soft warm skin sending prickling sensations that
made it bristle up.

His
dream�

Kira�s dream�

Were they one? Could they be�? Was this real or
was he dreaming that he was awake� Did he even care�?

Athrun�s head bent a fraction more and his lips claimed
Kira�s in a soft and undemanding kiss, happy to just
taste the sweet ambrosia of his beloved. To his surprise it was Kira who demanded more. It was his tongue that first licked
the blue-haired�s lips looking to enter in his mouth.
He was glad to comply and his tongue darted in the brunet�s mouth touching,
tasting, battling. What started as a sweet virginal
kiss progressed in a sensual exploration of their mouths.
Athrun still remained passive careful not to frighten
Kira with the intensity of his desire. He didn�t even
dare embrace him, just kiss him back as his mind screamed in triumph that his Kira was beside him and he seemed to desire him.

However that part of Athrun, that cared for his
beloved�s feeling more that his own couldn�t let one subject unexplored. Was Kira awake? Did he realize who he was kissing? And if it
was neither, did he have the strength to pull out of what seemed to be his
dream come true? The kiss broke when they both needed oxygen. Athrun used the opportunity before he had lost his will.

�Kira, ano~, are you awake?�

�Kimi ga hoshii�� [I want you�] With
these words the brunet�s body shifted and naked skin caressed naked skin making
both boys moan.

The primal part of Athrun�s
mind, the one that was really awake, took control over his reason and responded
uninhibitedly to this tender confession. He didn�t want to think why Kira had said that now, he didn�t
want to think how true that was and what would the morning bring if he let
himself to his instincts. He was not capable of thinking at all�

He sat in the bed with his beloved beside him.
His hands reached for Kira�s head and his lips
pressed against Kira�s in a fierce passionate kiss.
Two tongues started dueling, reaching in the other�s mouth, caressing
everything they reached � gums, palate, tongue going
deeper to the throat.

The older boy�s hands couldn�t stand still.
They explored Athrun�s back, the fingertips lining
the firm muscles and feeling the softness that covered them. The green-eyed
broke the kiss and started tracing small kisses on the other boy�s face until
he reached the right ear, then he suckled the flesh and lightly bit it. Kira�s hands at his rear clenched showing his approval.

Athrun changed their position as he pushed the brunet
on the bed. A pair of beautiful misted amethyst eyes looked up at him expectant
and dreamy. He smiled at those eyes and continued to explore the feast that was
presented to him so unexpectedly.

His hands caressed the graceful neck and went
further down to the nipples that were slightly darker than the other skin. He
touched them carefully still hesitant how boldly he could act before Kira pulled away in shock or worse � terror. Yet the sole
reaction he noticed was the body below him arcing seeking closer contact. Athrun responded accordingly. He started playing with the
small buds. His head lowered and his lips and tongue followed the path his
fingers had just guided. He started with small kisses and licking but the
tender and slightly salty skin at the neck made him suck stronger and a small
red rose blossomed where his lips were pressed. He smiled as he saw the mark.
This was the proof that Kira was his.

His tongue licked the skin as he moved down to
the nipples that eagerly awaited his attention.

Kira was extatic. He
didn�t know whether it was a dream or reality. Or maybe he had finally lost his
mind and those two no longer had a border to separate them, but he was willing
to make most of what was given to him. That was Athrun.
That was his dream come true. And Athrun
desired him, did to him all those wonderful things Kira
saw in his mind.

He wanted to do to Athrun
so many things. But he needed to make sure this was not a dream. He could
hardly think. Those sensual lips and that rough tongue took away his sense and
left only the raw desire. Yet he had to make sure�

�Hontou
wa kimi desu ka?�
[Is it really you?] His voice sounded weird and husky.

Athrun lifted his eyes and looked straight at his
lover-to-be �Hontou wa ore da. Athrun da,
Kira.� [It�s really me. It�s Athrun, Kira] And
he confirmed his words with a fierce kiss that left both boys breathless and
panting.

Kira was happy, it was real. Or at least now he
perceived it as real and that was enough. He would elaborate on it later, now
he was going to enjoy it.

His hands flew to Athrun�s
back and went up and down, then up again and he buried them in the blue-black
hair, his fingertip massaging gently the scalp.

The green-eyed�s lips
continued to weave their magic. His tongue finally reached one longing nipple
and circled it before he took it in his mouth. Kira�s
moan was like music to Athrun�s ears. It told him
that what brought pleasure to him was pleasure to the brunet as well. The hands
on his head pressed him tighter to the other boy�s chest silently asking for
more and the younger boy willingly complied. He started to tease the bud with
his tongue while he suckled it. Meanwhile one of his hands played with the
other nipple.

Kira wanted to participate more actively and tried
to take some initiative. He wanted to make Athrun
feel what he felt right now, so he gathered some strength and withdrew from the
sweet mouth. Athrun looked at him hesitantly, but the
soft smile on the brunet�s lips told him that this was not rejection,
it was merely curiosity to where this mutual exploration would lead them. He
relaxed and let the other take the lead. Kira moved
so that he could sit on the blue-eyed�s hips and the
moment the two erections touched both boys moaned and sighed in pleasure as
waves of desire splashed over their senses and made the feeling even better.

Kira�s hands started to trace the firm broad chest of
his beloved. It was impossible for him to make choice what to tease first so he
started a massive attack to everything he could reach curious to find out where
Athrun�s erogenous zones were. Instead he heard the
other boy laughing and realized he had tickled him. He grinned and started to
tickle him on purpose and the other boy did the same but the movement of the
body beneath him and the friction it caused to their hips made both their
arousals become firmer and even more sensitive. Their eyes met sparkling from
laughter and desire and they smiled at each other happy that they were giving
and receiving equally.

Kira�s lips were itching to taste the succulent flesh
and he bowed to the desire. His tongue started to leave wet traces on the warm
skin. He blew some air on the wet areas and watched the skin prickle.

Athrun felt so good. It was better than in his
dreams. There it was always him who acted and the brunet was remaining passive
and this made him feel as a molester but now Kira was
participating willingly and was sharing everything. But the desire that made
the blood in his veins thicker and hotter was urging him to move ahead. He drew
the brunet for another kiss as his hands reached for the boxers that were the
single piece of clothing covering the other boy. His hands trembled as he was
afraid this might startle his lover, but when he reached inside to touch the
center of Kira�s desire all he felt was the other�s
hips thrusting into his searching hand. With renewed determination his fingers
encircled the arousal and started to pump it lightly and tenderly.

Kira�s muscles lost their strength and he leaned on Athrun his whole being concentrated on the pleasure he
received. His hands slowly moved to remove the blue-haired boy�s underwear but
he hesitated before they reached their aim. He started to feel insecure, even
if he had dreamed about this moment so many times, he had actually never gone that
far even in his dreams and he was not sure how should he act. What if he did
something wrong, but Athrun was too kind to tell him.
What if he didn�t give the other boy the same pleasure he received? He
retracted his hands and grabbed the sheets instead.

Athrun noticed that something was bothering his lover
and stopped.

�Kira, are you OK? Is
something wrong? Don�t you like what I do?� The green-eyed was worried that he
might have frightened the other boy or maybe he had progressed too far too
soon. Maybe he needed to slow down. �Tell me, please.�

�Chigau!� [No.] Kira couldn�t face Athrun and he
felt heat rise on his cheeks. His eyes shyly looked at the blue-haired�s. �Chigau
yo! [It�s not that!] I� I am not sure what
should I do, to give as much pleasure as you give me�

�Baka�� The younger
boy sighed inwardly relieved that he had not done anything wrong, but he had to
sooth Kira�s worries carefully. It shouldn�t seem as
a mockery yet it should clear things up and make the brunet relax and help him
continue enjoying himself and their lovemaking. It was a first time with a boy
for both of them, but Athrun had tried to hind out
what is supposed to bring pleasure and obviously Kira
was less prepared for such an experience. �Goshinpainai! [Don�t worry!] Just do what you feel
right and what you think would make you feel good. There are no rules, Kira. Don�t think about it, just act on instincts, they�ll
lead you. And so that you know, I sincerely hope I am able to give you at least
half the pleasure you give me. This is the best thing in my life so far and I
am happy to share it with you��

Kira�s face cleared and his body relaxed but Athrun saw that there was still something bothering the
other boy and he tenderly asked �Is there something more?�

The brunet blushed even more that he had
already and just nodded obviously still unsure. �Ano~,
there is something I want to try, demo~ I don�t know if you would allow me��

�Do you want to tell me
about it or do you prefer to show me? Anyway is fine.�

Kira remained silent for a little and then he said
in a low voice �I want to see you.� This time he looked Athrun
straight in the eyes even if his cheeks were burning red. Athrun didn�t say anything but he stood and removed
his boxers staying naked in front of his beloved. The brunet took his lover�s
hand and drew him back on the bed.

The first rays of the morning sun were colouring the sky in red, pink and purple and the light was making the skin of the boy
shine. Kira reached and touched the green-eyed�s abdomen and started to move down slowly. His eyes
were fixed on what was fascinating him and what was his final destination � his
beloved�s arousal.

He had never thought he would use the word
�beautiful� to describe it, yet there wasn�t another word that could summarize
what he saw and felt. He touched it lightly with his fingertips as if he was
afraid he might hurt it.

As soon as he felt Kira�s
hand on his member Athrun thought he would burst.
This was not even a real caress, it was more of a hesitant touch, but the fact
that it was the man he loved who touched him so intimately was enough to excite
the blue-haired boy to such an extend. A moan escaped his lips and his whole
body trembled from desire.

Kira grew bolder as he noticed his lover�s reaction
and he held the object of his interest and started to move his hand up and down
simulating friction. But this was not enough for him, so he bent his head and
his soft breath caressed the tender skin on Athrun�s
arousal a moment before a pair of soft lips kissed the tip.

The green-eyed almost jumped off bed and he hissed through clenched teeth. The blood
started to beat in his temples as he fought to remain passive when his body
screamed for release, but he knew the brunet was not ready yet. But if things
continued like this he wouldn�t be able to postpone his orgasm. His eyes concentrated on
the amazing colours that shone in the silk strands
that covered the head that was now doing those incredible things to his senses.
His hands reached and took the soft hair between his fingers.

Kira licked the head of his shaft and Athrun�s hand clenched in fists. He realized he must have
hurt the brunet as he pulled his hair but he had sparks in front of his eyes
and he needed to hold on to something.

The amethyst-eyed boy smiled finally sure that
he was doing fine and boldly took as much of his lovers member as he could. He
liked the taste of it, the texture and most of all the reaction he inspired. He
continued to lick, suck and taste until Athrun felt
he was on the verge of orgasm. But he wanted to share his first orgasm with Kira, so he grabbed Kira�s head
and freed himself from the slick warm mouth of his lover. He cupped the cheeks
of his beloved and looked in his eyes.

�I want to touch you too, Kira,
will you allow me?�

Without a word the brunet nodded. Athrun reached and finally removed the last piece of
clothing that separated them � Kira�s boxers. He
reached and started to tease his lover as he had been teased only minutes ago.
He wanted to increase Kira�s desire and prepare him
for the final part of the sexual act. He knew it would be difficult for Kira, especially now, the first time.

Athrun started to gently lick Kira�s
member and then he blew cold air on the sensitized flesh sending the brunet on
another level of desire. A few drops of precum were
dripping and he couldn�t resist the temptation to taste them. Then he started
to litter small butterfly kisses on his lover�s abdomen, thighs and member
jumping randomly from one to another, knowing that the unexpected was always
far more teasing. He started to add light bites and to flutter his eyelids at
the soft shining skin.

Kira�s head trashed left and right on the pillow and
soft moans escaped his mouth, his fists clenched and unclenched pulling the
sheet he was lying on. Incoherent words flew from the brunet�s lips. �No, I
can�t take� It�s so hot� Such heat� your lips� I want��

Athrun stood on his elbows over Kira
drew his face to the other boy�s and kissed him softly and tenderly then asked
�Are you ready, Kira?� Their arousals rubbed against
each other as the boys moved.

The amethyst-eyed was not sure what his lover
meant exactly, he couldn�t think even if his life depended on it, but he didn�t
care any more, as long as that hot burning ball of desire that engulfed him
exploded in the ultimate pleasure it promised.

�H-hai. I am.�

�Then wait for a second.� Athrun
stood from the bed on unstable legs, approached the closet where his bag was
and dug in it until he found the small bottle of lubricant he had bought some
time ago hoping that a moment like this would come. When he returned to the bed
Kira watched him patiently and expectantly as the
blue-haired boy poured some of the bottle�s content in his hand and waited for
it to warm a little.

Then he lubbed his
fingers and Kira�s entrance readying both of them for
what was to come.

Kira felt a bit strange but he knew enough of human
anatomy to feel gratefulness that Athrun had
lubricant with him. The brunet tried to relax as much as possible aware that
his virginal muscles would initially oppose to the penetration.

Athrun started to massage the skin around Kira�s anus before he gently pushed one finger inside. He
felt the brunet�s discomfort. He withdrew slightly and then advanced again but
he acted slowly and as tenderly as he could. �Does it hurt, Kira?�

�No, it�s just a bit new and strange.� The boy
shifted slightly to adjust himself to the foreign presence inside him. Athrun didn�t move allowing his lover to get accustomed to
the intrusion. When he felt the relaxation of the muscles he started to stretch
the inside of the tight passage and tried to locate the prostate gland as he
knew that it was a sensitive spot. The moment he bristled it the boy below him
sighed and started to thrust at his hand looking for more.

At first Kira felt
discomfort and slight pain but he was aware that it was inevitable. But then,
when Athrun touched something inside him, the brunet
saw fireworks explode before his eyes and he wanted to get more of that. He
pushed himself at his lover showing him his approval of what he was doing. His
arms embraced the neck of his partner and his fingers disheveled the blue hair.

Only then did the green-eyed dare insert
another finger. This time it took Kira less time to
get used to the stretch inside him. The blue-haired scissored
his fingers preparing the passage for his member still titillating the spot
that gave his beloved the most pleasure. Third finger tried to make its way
inside Kira but this time his muscles resisted more. Athrun felt the boy suppress a soft cry of pain and stood
still. Kira sighed and urged his lover to go on, the
mixture of desire and pain shifting toward desire. The green-eyed boy sensed
that Kira was ready and withdrew his fingers.

Athrun took the lubricant again and applied some of
it on his member. The brunet watched him with glazed eyes unable to think
coherently or move. He just smiled and promised softly �One day I�ll make you
feel as good as you made me. I want to feel you too��

The blue-haired boy nodded silently as he
positioned himself at the entrance of his lover. He started to push in feeling
the tight sphincter slowly let him in. He advanced millimeter by millimeter and
enjoyed the hot pressure around his member. He felt Kira
tense and stilled cursing that raging beast inside him that wanted to plunge
inside and bury himself in the warm welcoming body of his beloved. The brunet�s
hands flew to his lovers shoulders and squeezed softly encouraging the green-eyed
boy to move. There was pain yet the pleasure compensated for it a thousand
times. Besides Kira felt that it was the pain that
made the experience more real and significant. Pain was proof of existence as
much as pleasure.

Athrun advanced little by little until he seated
himself deep within his lover and he stopped for a moment.

This was perfect and beyond�

It was everything he had dreamed of and more�

It was real
and that made it incredible�

He couldn�t imagine how he had lived before he
knew a pleasure that deep and overwhelming. He had always known love in
different ways � to his mother, his friends, his female lovers, but this was
something so much more, that words failed to express how much it signified for
him. His mind formed the words and his mouth opened to voice them but he
stopped them. If he told Kira of his love now, the
boy would wonder whether those were words of pure love or words born in the
vortex of passion. He had to state his feelings clearly, but not now.

Kira shifted below him looking for more urging him
to move and Athrun was glad to comply. He withdrew a
bit and then thrust back. The brunet�s moan with pleasure mixed with his own.
One of Athrun�s hands reached for his lover�s arousal
teasing it and then grabbing it and moving up and down its length.

A shockwave went though Kira�s�s
body. The combined sensation of Athrun�s trusts
inside him and his hand massaging the brunet�s member was like a lighting bolt
that went from the pleasure center in his brain down to his toes.

Athrun wanted to be tender, he really did, but he
just couldn�t� Those hot insides wrapping him tightly and Kira�s
moans were the last drops of oil that turned the fire in him into an explosion.
His next thrust was a bit firmer and deeper as he was temporarily incapable to
control his actions. It hit directly at Kira�s
prostate and the boy beneath moaned. He withdrew and trust each time firmer and
deeper and his lover arced to meet him halfway through his trusts. Their mouths
clashed in a hot kiss as their hips rocked and flew them towards ecstasy.

Each thrust of Athrun�s
hips sent Kira one step closer to heaven until the
gates of paradise opened in front of him and his orgasm swept him away. He
spent himself between their bodies.

Athrun watched in fascination as his beloved�s eyes
dilated and hazed when he reached his peak. That was a sight he would cherish
and remember for as long as he breathed. The pulsations of Kira�s
tight passage constricted him and caused him a little pain but the pleasure
overwhelmed him as he also went over the edge and into an ocean of pure
ecstasy. He collapsed on his beloved unable to move and listened to their
hearts as they started to beat slower and their breaths evened.

When he was able to control his body once again
he carefully pulled out of Kira and embraced him
happy to feel his warmth. The brunet turned on his side facing his lover and caressed
Athrun�s cheek and said �Arigatou!�
Then his eyes started to close and he fell asleep his head on his beloved�s
chest.

Athrun held him tighter and closer and gently and
silently mumbled in the other boy�s hair �Suki da yo, Kira!
Ima, omae wa ore
no da!� [I love you, Kira.
Now you are mine.]

Kira just snuggled in his chest and silently whispered
�Ai� Zutto ni�Ai�� [*]

Athrun closed his eyes as he heard those words. Why
did Kira have to say her name now, only moments after they had shared something so
special and intimate. His heart hurt, but there was one
light that guided him through the long dark tunnel that led to Kira�s heart� Kira desired him. The
passion they shared could not be imitated. And when he watched his eyes he
thought that it was not only passion that sparkled in their depths�

Even if the brunet was not aware of it,
somewhere deep inside him there was the seed of love that needed to be taken
care of and to be allowed to grow and bloom and Athrun
was going to do his best to ensure this happened and as soon as possible. He embraced
his beloved and drifted away in his dreams�

He was too engulfed in his thoughts and Kira had buried his face in his chest so he didn�t hear the
muted and soft words that continued Kira�s sentence.

��shite
iru.�

A/N: first of all, I am sorry it took me so long to
update, but my progress test + exam required a lot of studying and I had no
time to sit down and write.

[*] This is a phrase with double meaning. �Ai� Zutto ni�Ai��
could be translated as �Ai� Always� Ai��, combined with the part Athrun
doesn�t hear it becomes �Ai� Zutto ni�Ai shite iru�, which means �Love� I�ve always loved you.�
Actually this was the main reason I named Kira�s
fictional girlfriend Ai.

And I should say that writing the Yzak x Dearka lemon was way easier
as they had experience being with each other and knew what they wanted. And
here when I had to write virgins I had a lot of problems. I still hope I
managed it. But if I didn�t, well, there will be another AsuKira
lemon at the end when they reach their �and they lived happily ever after�.

@
Kimi: I really hurt Athrun a lot. I wonder whether
this is because I like him a fraction more than I like Kira
or simply because I am sadistic, since Kira�s in for
some serious suffering as well.

@
Yami Jay: Kira will, but that won�t help much, I am afraid. I am a
nasty person and a lot of bad things are going to happen in the future.

@
~Sango~: Glad you like it, but I don�t think I�ll reach
the happy end anytime soon.

@ pancake: I
am sorry I disappointed you, but if you read this, thank you for sharing your opinion.
I appreciate it. And about Yzak doing something dangerous,
well he did check the possible side effects and evaluated the situation. And sorry
yet again, but I have no plans for a Dearka x Yzak fanfic, at least for now.

@
ivanblueangel: Oh, you really seem excited about the idea of
a pregnant Kira ^_^ the next chapter will decide
whether or not Kira will become� a mother? � a father? I wonder which one is it. I mean the father is the
one who �plans the seed� so to say and Kira�s not the
one to do it. Yet a mother is normally female, and Kira�s
not that either�

@
AsuKira: Ok, here it is the promised AsuKira lemon. I hope you like it. And thank you for your
updates on Unrequited. It saved my day after a few hours in the university
followed by another few of studying for my progress test. You kept my head from
exploding� And I still laugh every time I see a wedding gown or think of
weddings, or think of Kira in a gown. Mrs. Athrun Zala� that�s so rich�

@
rdavymac: The answer to your question will be in the
next chapter, or at least the beginning of the answer.
- 7
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Lonely Desire