Pull the Trigger and the Nightmare Stops�

Disclaimer: I don’t own any of the Gundam boys, I just like to imagine them in my own little world (which is totally of my making). No profits are made from this story, just gratuitous pleasure.

Summary: They were thrust together at the age of 14, members of an assassins guild, then rudely ripped apart at the age of 21. Now, three years later, Duo walks back into Heero's life. The rollercoaster ride has just begun as they must learn to live together once more and to love each other again. Life isn’t always easy, living with Duo, and Heero has to fight hard to remember that.

Rating: NC-17

Warning Codes: Anal,Angst,AR,H/C,Lang,M/M,OC,Oral,Violence,WAFF,WIP,Yaoi

Pairings: 1x2


Feedback is appreciated. I enjoy hearing from all of my readers. That you take the time to read is great, that you take the time to write is awesome. You are what makes writing worth while. I hope that you enjoy reading it.

My sincere thanks to the following:

Dragon: As always, thank you for your continued support. It means a lot to me, I’m glad that you are enjoying the steady updates. I hope you enjoy this next chapter.

Diane Rainwater: Thanks for your continuing support. I’ve enjoyed your comments. A physical might have been interesting, but for my purposes, Sally is the head of intelligence. But it was a good idea, I never even thought of it. Keep on reading and commenting, it’s greatly appreciated. And as a p.s., I don’t know if you have read ‘Acting As If…’, it has a very angsty Duo.


~*~

Pull the Trigger and the Nightmare Stops…

“dear my friends in the time we've spent forever after beyond this when will our nightmare ever end?
pull the trigger and the nightmare stops...”

Part. 8

It had been all so confusing and it had all happened so fast. They had always been poor. His father had been gone for a long time. Duo could hardly even remember him. It was him, his mother, his older sister and a couple of younger siblings. Some days there was barely enough food to go around. He and his sister did whatever they could to help out, but it never seemed as if it was enough.

Then, one day, his mother showed up with a new man. And the next thing he knew, he and his older sister were being hauled off by some overly made up old hag and some beefy bully boys. He never saw his sister again. He was given to a couple of older women who told him they were going to teach him everything that he would need to know and they laughed together evilly as they eyed him.

When he asked what they were going to teach him, they told him he was going to learn how to please a man in bed. He was going to be trained to be a whore! He fought and resisted, but to no avail. They refrained from beating him too much, though, didn’t want to leave marks on his pretty hide, they said. They had been very careful to keep him a virgin, too. More money on the auction block, they leered at him. He was only thirteen.

But no matter what they did to him, he resisted. They tried for almost a year to break him, not wanting to lose out on the money a beauty like him would bring in, but to no avail, and were almost ready to write him off as a total loss, when two wealthy looking gentlemen came to look at him.

“What do you think of him, Zechs?” asked the older of the two.

“Yes, Treize. That’s the one. Gorgeous, spirited and still a virgin. He’ll fall hard for him. I think it will work. This one will give our little stone killer the heart that he’s been lacking,” said Zechs, knowingly.

“Then it’s settled. We’ll take that boy,” said the older man, and just like that, Duo was on his way to his new home. He had just turned fourteen and had no idea what his new life would hold, but hoped that it would be better then what he was leaving. The attitude and dress of the men who had just purchased him gave him some little bit of hope for a better life. At least they were kind to him.

~*~

It was a rather large, rambling house, in a not so good part of town, and when they went inside there were a lot of men hanging around. They all leered at him, some licking their lips and making suggestive signs. Duo was scared and huddled close to the men he was following, trying to be inconspicuous. The two men ignored all of the others, leading him into a large common room.

“Heero,” called the older man, getting the attention of a dark haired boy that sat reading in a corner.

“Yes, Treize?” answered the boy. He seemed to be about Duo's age, maybe just a little older. He had the most beautiful deep blue eyes that Duo had ever seen. And the coldest. Duo's world seemed to shrink down to just him and the boy for a few breathtaking moments as their eyes met and held, then the boy turned away from him slightly, his attention going to the guild master. Duo felt overawed, his heart beating faster and his head was spinning. What the boy had done to him with just one look left him breathless.

“We have a gift for you. Clean him up and take care of him. He belongs to you now,” said Treize. “You’re going to learn to work together.”

Zechs handed the boy the lead that was attached to the collar that Duo wore.

“I wouldn’t take the restraints off for a few days, not until he’s been broken in anyway. He’s still a bit wild and flighty. He might try to run, then you’d have to chase him down,” said Zechs, grinning at the boy, then added, “and you might want to be a bit gentle with him, at least at first. He’s still a virgin.”

The dark haired boy accepted the lead and stood staring at Duo once again as the two men turned and departed, leaving the boys alone together.

“Well, guess I’d better take you to my room,” the boy said. “More privacy. Come on.”

Duo said nothing, just followed numbly. Now what? Was this boy going to make him do what they had tried to train him to do? Was he going to be raped? What would happen to him after the boy was done with him? Would he please the boy enough that he would want to keep Duo around? What if he didn’t, what would become of Duo then? The questions flew through his head, but he had no answers that looked good right at this moment.

“My name is Heero Yuy. This is my room. You’ll be safe here, just as long as you don’t go wandering away from it alone. If I take off your arm and leg restraints, will you promise not to try to run from me? I don’t want to have to chase you down, and I really don’t want to hurt you, but I will if I have to. The choice is up to you,” the boy told him, waiting for an answer.

“I won’t run. I have no where to run to,” said Duo, sadly. “Do what ever you want to me. It doesn’t matter. I belong to you now.”


They got along well. The boy, Heero Yuy, was older then Duo by about six months. He treated Duo well, making sure he was well fed, protecting him from the other men in the house and in general taking care of him. They slept together in Heero's small bed, but Heero never tried to take advantage of him. Sometimes, though, when they were alone in the dark, they would jerk each other off, but that was boy stuff. Heero never pressed him for more, because Duo had made it clear from the start that he wasn’t interested in going any further..

They had been together for about eight months, and Heero started to touch him more, wanting him almost every night, kissing him while they found their mutual relief, but it wasn’t so bad. It never progressed beyond hand jobs between the two of them, but truth be told, it made Duo feel warm and secure, the way that Heero wanted him. He didn’t mind the small amount of intimate contact that they shared now, and Heero never asked him for more then he was willing to give. Duo was thankful for that, because he still found it hard to reconcile himself to being with another boy. Even if it felt good, it still wasn’t really quite right. At least it wasn’t in keeping with Duo's harsh upbringing.

Then one night Zechs walked in as they were getting ready for bed. He tossed Heero a tube of some kind and gave him an inscrutable look.

“Treize says it’s been long enough. Either take his cherry tonight, or he’s turning him over to the dogs. We can’t train the two of you the way we want without you being committed to each other physically and emotionally as well as mentally.” Zechs looked from one boy to the other, then walked out.

“What did he mean by that, Heero?” asked Duo, a cold knot forming in his belly, anticipation the answer.

“I have to make you mine tonight. I have to take your virginity. If I don’t, he’s going to give you to them, and I’ll get someone new for a partner. I need someone who belongs to me completely,” said Heero dully, knowing this was the one thing Duo didn’t want. It went without saying that the guild master knew everything that went on within the walls of his house, even the fact that Heero had yet to make Duo his completely. That Duo was still a virgin.

“I don’t understand,” whispered Duo, but really he knew.

“He wants us to be a team, to work together as one, and he doesn’t think we can do it without a physical bond between us, and an emotional one, as well,” explained Heero.

That Duo understood. That night he gave his virginity to Heero and the next day saw them wed. Duo Maxwell became Heero Yuy’s wife at the age of 15. And Heero never touched him sexually again, because Duo had made it clear from the first day they met, he wasn’t gay and he didn’t want to be touched by a man, not that way. They still slept together in the same bed, but now it was strained, the innocence was gone, and their friendly, mutual jerk off sessions ended. Duo turned his head slightly if Heero tried to kiss him, and flinched when Heero touched him intimately, so Heero ceased all physical contact.

Zechs and Noin started to train them seriously. And Duo knew this time he needed to pay attention and learn what he was being taught, or he’d pay with his life. So he learned and he learned well.

Duo Maxwell was hot, seductive and alluring. He was temptation and a promise of heaven, and he belonged to Heero Yuy. He found that fact out the hard way. Fully trained and committed to each other, they were sent out in the field to work where they proved that they could be successful together.

One night, the target was a prominent man, not to take him out as was an assassins usual wont, but to compromise the man. He was young, good looking and he was bi-sexual, though his rich, older wife didn’t know that. Duo came on to him at a party and he took the bait. By the time Heero and Zechs got to the room where the man had taken Duo, he had Duo on the bed, half naked, his tongue down Duo's throat and his hand on Duo's cock. The photos were spectacular and Heero was livid.

He beat Duo that night. And when he finished, he gathered the crying Duo into his arms and held him close, cuddling and caressing him until his tears ceased.

“I’m sorry, babe, but no one ever lays a hand on you but me. You belong to me and I don’t share with anyone. You never let any one touch you like that again, because if I can’t, there is no fucking way in hell that anyone else ever well. Next time, I’ll kill you. Do you understand?” Heero asked softly, smoothing Duo's hair back, then kissing him gently.

“Yes, Heero,” Duo whispered, seeing the truth of what Heero said in his deep blue eyes, a stone killer’s eyes.

“Good. Get some sleep,” said Heero, covering the bruised and battered body of his ‘wife’.


That was when the cruising started. They had been together almost two years, and had been married for a year. Heero spent their first wedding anniversary in the arms of another boy. Duo cried silently . He was 16.

After that, Heero would pick up boys, have sex with them and go home with Duo, going to bed reeking of other boys. Duo accompanied him every where he went, and so had to be present for all of the encounters. When the other boys would look at Duo, Heero would just shrug.

“That’s just my dog. Don’t pay him any attention,” he’d say, and they would continue with their encounter. Duo took to wearing his slave collar again.

Duo always cried, and Heero ignored it. It was nothing but physical release for him, and therefore nothing of importance. He refused to let Duo's tears sway him. If he couldn’t get relief from Duo, he would get it where he could. But all of that changed one night.

Heero started to fall in love.

That night, they had gone to a new place, and Heero had seen a boy at the bar. A vision, with long black hair flowing down his back, a delicate heart shaped face, and a lithe, dancers body. Mesmerized, Heero made his way up there and enticed the boy back to their table. When the boy looked at Duo questioningly, Heero said something different.

“Don’t mind her, she’s just my dog. It’s not important to us, she doesn’t matter,” and he leaned in to kiss the boy.

They kissed and cuddled and whispered into each other’s ears, holding hands, gazing into each other eyes, and all the while Duo could feel those words pounding into his heart. Until this moment, he’d never really seen Heero in this light. He’d been too busy feeling sorry for himself, crying for himself. He’d never even given a thought to what Heero must be feeling, hadn’t really even cared, to be truthful. He loved Heero, in his own way, for keeping him safe and taking care of him, but not in the way that Heero wanted to be loved. He couldn’t love Heero physically. He sat at the table, hands clasped in his lap, staring down at them. He wasn’t important. He didn’t matter. He couldn’t give Heero what he wanted. He was just a dog. He felt cold, through and through, as though a knife had just been plunged through his heart.

Heero hit is shoulder hard, getting his attention.

“Come on, we’re going,” he said, arm around the boy’s waist. Duo trailed them out miserably. This was something they had never done before, gone to someone’s home. Usually Heero found his relief with his chosen partners in the bathroom or in an alleyway.

They went to the boy’s house and Heero threw a blanket on the floor for Duo before he climbed into bed with the boy. It wasn’t just sex, this time. There were kisses and moans and sighs, and cries, gasps and soft words, and when it was over, Duo heard the boy saying softly, “Please, say you’ll stay with me, Heero. I really want you to. I think I love you.”

And Duo couldn’t hold back the sobs as his heart broke.

“Shhh… I need to take my dog out. I’ll be back. I promise, I’ll be back,” he said with a kiss.

Heero got out of bed, looked for his pants, but didn’t see them readily, so didn’t bother. He went to where Duo lay crying and nudged him with his foot, then jerked his head toward the door when Duo looked up at him.

Duo followed him out the door, down the hall and into the bathroom. Heero had closed the lid of the toilet and sat. Duo crumbled at his feet.

“Why are you crying?” he asked bluntly.

“You’re going to leave me, aren’t you?” asked Duo.

“No. You know I can’t leave you, we’re married, that’s forever. We can’t go against our guild master’s wishes,” said Heero, flatly.

“But this boy? You… you love him?” Duo asked.

“I might. He’s sweet, warm, loveable, he wants me to stay with him. I think I might want to,” answered Heero, slowly.

“He’s everything I’m not, isn’t he? He’ll give you what I can’t, won’t he? What about me? What do you do about me?” asked Duo, looking up through his tears.

“We’ll do our work. We’ll do what we have to do during the days, the evenings or whenever, and the nights I’m free, I’ll spend here, with him,” Heero said simply.

“And me?” asked Duo again.

“You’ll stay in my room at the guild house. You’ll be safe there. Nobody there will lay a hand on you. They know better. You belong to me,” Heero replied.

“I belong to you. Your dog,” said Duo dully, his head dropping in shame.

“This is what you chose, Duo. It could have been you in my bed, in my arms, but you said you didn’t want that. I’m giving you what you want. I’m leaving you alone. Now I’ve found what I want, somebody to love me,” Heero told him.

“And if I say I’ve changed my mind? That I love you, I want to be with you? Is it too late? Am I too late? Have I lost you completely?” Duo looked up beseechingly.

“Babe, I’ve only been waiting for you to say the word. But it’s been so long…” said Heero, and he closed his eyes and sighed.

And Duo launched himself into Heero's arms and their lips met. Heero's arms tightened around Duo and Duo opened his mouth to Heero's kiss. Then Heero had his hand in Duo's hair, pulling him away, looking intently into his indigo eyes.

“This better be for real. This better be everything. I want all of you. I won’t settle for anything less. If you don’t give yourself to me completely, if you try to hold back, you’ll regret it,” Heero told him. “So, if you’re going to do this, Duo Maxwell, make damn sure it’s what you want to do, because there’s no going back once you make this commitment.”

“I know. This is what I want, to belong to you completely, heart, body and soul. Do with me what you will, I’m yours,” said Duo, surrendering himself at last to Heero, truly becoming his heart. He was just shy of his 17th birthday.

“Then let me get dressed and we’ll go home. From this moment on, you are my wife in every sense of the word,” and Heero kissed him gently.

That’s not to say that their life was easy after that, but it was better. They still fought and Heero tended to teach lessons with his hands, but Duo learned to love him, like he loved no one else…

~*~

Duo moaned and thrashed and one hand caught Heero in the jaw, causing him to come awake, ready to fight, but having only a Duo who seemed to be having a nightmare to contend with. Heero shook him gently and Duo came up swinging. Heero ducked under a wild punch and pulled him into his arms to try to quiet him.

“Babe, it’s alright, shhh…” he soothed.

“Oh, god, I was dreaming about when we were young, when I was just your dog,” Duo mumbled into his chest.

Heero lay back and pulled Duo with him, stroking his hair and back. Duo soon relaxed and seemed to fall asleep again. Heero thought back on those days briefly, and grimaced. He wasn’t too proud of some of the things he’d done, but Duo had been so damned stubborn. Ah, well, they had worked it all out eventually and he’d finally gotten his hands on the boy he’d lusted for. Heero kissed his lover once again and went back to sleep.

Duo woke later, still feeling the aftermath of his dream. He held tightly to Heero and burrowed his face into Heero's shoulder, occasionally shaking. Heero stroked his back and hair, kissing the top of his head as he awoke.

“It wasn’t all bad, was it Heero?” Duo asked, the question slightly muffled.

“Our years in the guild? No, not in the end,” Heero answered. They’d had three years of bliss, maybe a little more, once Duo had reconciled himself to belonging completely to Heero. And Heero had loved him passionately, declaring that love nightly and endlessly until their idyllic world came crashing down upon them in that one night of terror. Duo had just turned 21.

“I was difficult, those first years, wasn’t I? I made our lives hell those first years. I’m really sorry, Heero,” came the muffled voice.

Heero pulled Duo away from himself and lay him back on the pillows so that he could look into the beautiful indigo eyes.

“It wasn’t your fault. You were thrust into a situation not of your choice or making. You were never given any options. And I wasn’t too easy on you, either. We were both young. You didn’t want to be with another man and all I wanted was to have you as my one and only. But I didn’t know how to go about doing it, how to make you love me.. I loved you so much, it scared me and you didn’t want me, and that hurt. And all I could do was hurt you. I’m sorry, babe, I never should have hurt you,” said Heero, kissing Duo softly.

“I loved you, too, even if you didn’t know it. You were so nice, so gentle, it scared me. My mother always said it was a sin for a man to love another man. My dad left her for another man. She raved about it. Screamed about how pretty I was, and how I’d be just like him, and I didn’t want to be like that. Then she sold me to a whorehouse for a stinking man that probably dumped her sorry ass,” Duo said bitterly. “I was so in love with you, and I was so afraid to let myself belong to you. I fought it so hard, but you won, in the end. I just couldn’t let you go to some other boy, because you were mine. I’m glad I lost that fight,” confessed Duo, smiling.

“Me, too, babe, 'cos I would never have loved him as much as I loved you. I would have left him in the end and I would have probably just taken you by force. I’m glad that you came to me freely,” and Heero smiled in return.

Duo held out his arms and Heero lay back in the arms of his lover, their soft kisses gaining heat and passion as their bodies told each other of their deep desire and the imminent need to be fulfilled.

The lovemaking was soft and gentle this morning, the two spent a long time touching and kissing, they filled the air with soft moans, gentle sighs and cries of delight and pleasure, eventually riding the waves of orgasmic bliss to complete exhaustion. They could only lay in each other’s arms and revel in the sated excess that was their love.

Sometime later the ringing of the phone interrupted their idyllic interlude. Heero answered, listened and hung up.

“Come on, babe, we need to go see Simon,” he said, getting out of bed and reaching for Duo's hand.

~*~

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