Lurking in the Shadows [complete]

Milliardo remained silent, looking back and forth between Heero\'s stormy irises and the headboard, though he was looking thousands of miles beyond both of them as his brow creased slightly.

Not Duo\'s...

He was replaying all the information the both of them had ever given him over the entire course of knowing them, taken from their words, actions and body language.
For several long seconds, he thought he was going to go quite pleasantly mad, and break something. He had no idea who or what to believe any longer-- his faith, the little he had ever had, was whittled down to a raw ache that barely qualified as mild belief.

He wanted, with every fibre of his body, for Heero\'s words to be truth, and refused to open his mouth and say something to instigate further explanation. If the words from this man\'s lips weren\'t the truth, he didn\'t want to hear what was any longer.

Finally he brought himself to looking Heero in the eyes head-on, and it took more out of him than he had thought possible as he whispered, \"Let me touch you one last time, then, if you\'re not Duo\'s. Become mine again for just one small instant...\" He didn\'t add the last part: ...So I have something to keep as sacred for myself.

Betrayal he could handle, lies he could take, but he needed to leave this place with at least something he could grasp firmly onto as truth-- just one small kiss to keep his tattered soul from oblivion.

Heero could feel the fluttering in his stomach increase, wondering how much \"touching\" Zechs was looking for, and why the thought of being Zechs\' in any shape or form, right on the heels of what had happened in the other room, made his heart race with anticipation. Living with Duo all this time hadn\'t made him ignorant to temptation - Duo was a good looking man, and he knew how to tease with a touch and a look, but the soft request did more to tear down his willpower than any of Duo\'s advances.

Heero closed the distance between them and put his hand behind Zechs\' head, then pulled him close and thrust his tongue into the blonde’s mouth. If Zechs wanted Heero to be his for a moment, Heero would make sure he damn well knew that he belonged to Heero in that same instant.

He wanted nothing more than to grind his aching need against Zechs, to alleviate some of the pressure that had been building as he\'d listened to the sounds of passion and completion, but that\'s not how he wanted to say good-bye. Maybe once Zechs walked out the door, he\'d finally give in to Duo, if all he wanted was a quick fuck.

Milliardo\'s stomach knotted tight as the tongue slipped between his lips. He had been asking for a simple embrace and perhaps a kiss on the cheek, but this he hadn\'t been expecting...

And yet as it happened, he found his defences growing weaker, and the blanket of numbness shielding him from more pain was thinning. The blonde\'s hands lifted slowly and came to rest on Heero\'s shoulders, but soon his arms wound around the small frame as he tilted his head and closed his eyes.

He could feel Heero\'s erection pressed up against him, and yet, he refrained from the urge to take it in his hand and bring the brunette to climax. He was unsure as to whether the kiss he was receiving now was from spite, or pity, or any other number of things... and decided it was best not to risk his last moment with this man.

As the kiss broke, he ran his lips along Heero\'s cheek and to his ear, kissing the shell softly and breathing a slow sigh, taking in the scent he had dreamt about for too long, missed for too long.

He couldn\'t bring himself to say \'I\'m leaving\' or \'Goodbye\' or \'Take care of yourself.\' Milliardo swallowed hard and clutched Heero a little tighter. \'Thank you for everything you did for me, no matter what the intentions were...\' or even \'My name is Milliardo, not Zechs; I\'m sorry for the pain I\'ve caused\' weren\'t even plausible.

Heero ran his tongue around his mouth, tasting Zechs, and probably Duo as well, and found himself wavering with the urge to see how much he could push Zechs, wanting to see if he could bring about the same sounds of ecstasy, anxious to get rid of the throbbing in his groin, but he recognized the kiss as the good-bye it was. It was ridiculous, he realized, that they were both standing here like a couple of star-crossed lovers. The scent of sex and sweat was heavy in the air, Zechs practically screamed \"I was well and truly fucked\" and it was mucking with Heero\'s senses.

He had never been good with nonverbal communication the way Duo was, and he didn\'t have Duo\'s gift for carefully engineered words. Blunt honesty had been his style, except when Zechs had provoked him earlier. \"I don\'t like that you let Duo fuck you,\" he stated, \"and yet it left me with this,\" he gestured to his obvious hard-on.

Heero\'s body was relaxing, and the words he was saying more than gripped the blonde\'s attention. Finally Milliardo whispered, \"I dreamt of the day I could touch you again, Heero. You have no reason to believe a word I\'m saying, but I\'d have given Duo almost everything else and then some, so I could to learn more about you and earn the chance to see you again, after making myself better for you.\" He pulled his mouth into a faint smile, though his heart wasn\'t behind it. He didn\'t know if Heero was leading him on or telling him to get out, so he let his grip loosen from the brunette, though he brushed his fingertips along the man\'s thighs before all contact was broken.

The words came out wrong - Heero wasn\'t sure what he\'d been trying to say. That he was jealous? That he was driven near to madness with lust? That he didn\'t know what had surprised him more - seeing Zechs in his apartment, or seeing him lying there wantonly with his legs spread and Duo between them?

Zechs was speaking again, and what he was saying made Heero\'s brows furrow in confusion. No, he had no reason to believe that Zechs had basically whored himself for information. Heero wasn\'t sure if he should be flattered or insulted. Why was Zechs telling him this? He had never been so confused in his life. Dealing with killing a man hadn\'t been half this hard to swallow.

There was something in the tone of Zechs\' voice that told Heero he was missing something, and he said flatly, \"you\'re leaving.\" It didn\'t matter that he\'d thought Zechs had been long gone. It seemed a punch in the gut to see this man again only to find out that the only contact he had was a good-bye kiss and sex by proxy.

It seemed like someone else\'s hand lifting up to tuck a strand of hair behind Zechs\' ear. \"You should put something on that,\" he said, gesturing to the cut on Zechs\' lip. Probably a gift from Duo.

Milliardo felt like laughing, and howling in agony. Heero\'s soft touch and kind words shouldn\'t have stung like they did, but he just couldn\'t take them at face value any longer, even if he was starting to believe Duo had taken him for a complete fool, and done a damn good job of it.

He leaned into the touch, closing his eyes. This was like some sort of warped dream of his, after too many shots of whiskey alone on his back in the apartment, staring at the ceiling with his arms out on either side of him. What he wanted put on his lips wasn\'t medicinal, unless one considered putting flesh in their mouth some sort of healing technique.

Come with me-- that\'s what the blonde wanted to say. Come with me, let\'s leave this city and forget everything that\'s ever happened in it, run with me to my car and I\'ll take care of you so you\'ll never have to look lonely and devoid of joy again.

I\'ll become your servant if that\'s what it\'ll take, I\'ll never say a word as long as I can be near you and feel your warmth, inhale this scent.

All that escaped him was a quiet hum in the back of his throat, like a sleepy sigh as his flesh tingled with the sensation of this warm skin next to his.

Heero\'s body thrummed with a muted pleasure. The feel of Zechs\' face against his palm was a gentle caress, the lingering scent of raw animal sex, the low sound escaping the other man, and the sight of pale blond lashes against a slightly flushed cheek made it hard to determine what exactly he wanted. He rubbed his nose along the side of Zechs\' neck, breathing deeply through his nose before exhaling slowly. No, he wasn\'t sure what he wanted - except for one thing.

\"Stay,\" he said, mouthing the word against Zechs\' skin.

He ran his right hand up and down Zechs\' arm, stroking it and feeling how much more developed it was than when he\'d ended up in a tangle of limbs and rainwater nearly a year ago. Time had been good to Zechs, in some ways at least. What right did Heero have to force him to stay? He didn\'t even want to stay here, and had been doing all in his power to fund his departure for greener pastures.

Maybe it was Duo\'s influence, this wanting to possess Zechs in ways that a year ago would never have crossed his mind. He felt sick to his stomach at the thought of losing him again, and was ashamed that he\'d lowered himself to voicing his need. He didn\'t know whether he should pretend he\'d never said anything, or should throw the rest of his pride to the wind and see if Zechs was receptive to a clumsy attempt at ravaging.

An electric sting raced through Milliardo\'s veins at the word, and the heated breath on his skin. He thought he was hallucinating several times, but the fingers grazing his arm were assuring him he wasn\'t. The blonde swallowed the lump rising in his throat.

He\'d get on all fours and yip if Heero requested it in that sultry voice-- Milliardo nodded dumbly.

His heart pounded as he turned his head and kissed the palm of the hand caressing his face, and there was no retribution. This was really happening.

Platinum locks swayed as Milliardo leaned in once more, carefully, and brushed his lips against the corner of Heero\'s mouth, testing for a reaction.

Heero turned his head and let his mouth graze along Zechs\' for the briefest of moments before sucking that tempting upper lip into his mouth and running his tongue along the inside of it. His fingers tightened on Zechs\' biceps and he brought his other arm up and around the blonde’s waist, pressing the length of his body against him, almost beyond caring about the damp spot in his pants or the discomfort of the zipper digging into his erection.

A groan escaped him as his entire body quivered in anticipation. He wasn\'t sure where this was going, but he didn\'t care about the future, only the present, and at the moment his mind, heart, and body needed as much of Zechs as would be willingly offered.

Heero\'s fingers splayed across Zechs\' back and he grew bolder, thrusting his tongue into the other man\'s mouth, exploring the warm cavern awkwardly. He found himself rocking his hips forward, needing the friction. His frustration was building. It wasn\'t just sex, it was more than that. It had to be, because Heero had never had so much trouble keeping his libido in check before.

The blonde shivered at Heero\'s aggressiveness, sliding one arm around the man\'s waist while his other hand moved cautiously along the brunette\'s hip and across his stomach, then slowly down until he could feel the bulge straining against cloth.

Milliardo\'s cheeks flushed as he rubbed along the swollen package, barely touching it, still lacking confidence to take firm hold and bring the brunette to orgasm. His tongue slid alongside Heero\'s, and he shuddered in ecstasy at the possessiveness, the demanding way the brunette was acting.

Milliardo took a step backwards as he drew away from the kiss to catch his breath, looking desperately at Heero as he grew a little bolder, squeezing the imprisoned erection slightly and moving his palm up and down the fly of the brunette\'s jeans.
He was still waiting for the other shoe to drop-- for Heero to pull away with a sneer and to feel the sting of the man\'s fist to his cheek.

\"Heero,\" he whispered, looking into the demanding gaze before him, letting the name roll off his tongue. Milliardo had forbidden himself to actually utter the name like that after they had parted ways the first time, but he couldn\'t help it now. And, if the brunette really was intending to get some form of revenge then so be it, because Milliardo wasn\'t going to go anywhere so long as those hands and lips kept stealing the breath from his lungs.

If the sound of Zechs moaning Duo\'s name had sent all the blood to his groin earlier, the way his own name came out, sounding guttural and full of promise, caused him to push his cock eagerly into the blonde’s hand. A name bubbled up inside him and to his lips before he remembered what he\'d said in parting. Zechs is dead. He closed his eyes, panting heavily, then opened them again. \"You\'re not Zechs,\" he stated, needing to know it wasn\'t the hooker talking, but the man who\'d enraptured all his senses since they met.

\"Fuck,\" he groaned, biting his lip as another shudder overtook him. The teasing touch along the outside of his pants was going to be the death of him.
He was on the verge of snapping, his needs, both emotional and physical, threatening to overcome him. \"I need...\" he begged, \"...you.\"

\"Milliardo,\" the blonde whispered softly. And admittance, a secret... it sounded unfamiliar as he said his own name in one soft breath while Heero made it obvious what he wanted.

The button to the brunette\'s jeans came undone easily, and Milliardo felt his own groin begin to swell with rushing blood as he pushed the zipper down with his middle finger, then swept his fingertips across the brunette\'s revealed shaft on the upstroke.

Heero could put a knife in the blonde\'s throat then and there and Milliardo wouldn\'t have resisted; relief washed over him and he didn\'t know just how much he had needed to hear those words until his eyes stung upon hearing them.

The denim slid down Heero\'s hips rather easily, and the weight the brunette had lost was apparent as Milliardo looked down at the slender frame and ghosted his hand along the underside of the brunette\'s erection.

\"Milliardo,\" Heero repeated, drawing it out slowly and ending on a moan. \"Milliardo.\"

He closed his eyes and arched into the warm hand now caressing his need. This was what he\'d dreamed about, only better, because it wasn\'t his own hand, touching himself with shameful eagerness, nor was it one of Duo\'s many practiced accidental touches in the morning when Heero woke up with a raging hard-on and a sense of disappointment. It had been remarkably easy, in the end, to sum up everything he\'d been missing, in a single word. \"Milliardo,\" he said again, his voice thick with lust.

People often said things around Heero that had never made much sense, like \'if the world ended right now, I\'d die happy,\' but at that moment he understood. There was much left up in the air, like where they were going from here, but he\'d been celibate for so damn long, and had fought so hard to prevent his thoughts from wandering back to that fateful night in the rain, only to have his subconscious taunt him at night. He had to stop thinking so much and enjoy what was being offered. And, if the world ended right now, he was pretty damn sure he\'d die, maybe not happy, but something very close to it.

The first time, it made him wince... the second he didn\'t mind, and by the third time the brunette\'s lips moved to say his name, Milliardo loved hearing it. He buried his face in Heero\'s neck, breathing his musk heavily and loving the taste of salt on the smooth skin as his hand closed firmly around the brunette\'s length, stroking it slowly, bringing him nearer to climax, but not quickly. He wanted to please Heero, give him everything he could... he wanted to earn some form of sexual forgiveness for the way he had treated the brunette their first time.

\"Will you take me?\" the blonde breathed into Heero\'s skin, kissing it, worshipping it with his lips and tongue.

Heero nearly choked on his tongue at the question. He\'d expected to be the one on his back with his legs spread, crying out with each thrust. He didn\'t know why this was even a question he had to think about, the way he was practically fucking Milliardo\'s hand. At first he thought the offer was made out of pity, but then a simple blow job would have been more than enough to relieve the ache between his legs. Instead, Milliardo was offering himself.

He didn\'t want to put more meaning into it, knowing that he\'d given up his body to Duo a short time earlier, but the way he\'d been asked... Milliardo\'s mouth on his too-sensitive flesh wasn\'t helping things. Sex, love, was there really a difference? If one went by Duo\'s example, no, but Heero had never put faith in Duo\'s view of the world, no matter how many times he\'d been surprised by their intersecting ideas.

Heero couldn\'t express with a simple \"yes\" the way he felt, so instead he guided them both toward the bed. He had almost no idea what he was doing, but he wanted this desperately. He was familiar enough with Duo\'s room by now that he knew there was a well used tube of lubrication under the mattress, and he fumbled for it as his hip hit the bed. If he were going to take the driver\'s seat for the first time, he wanted to do it right.

Heero took his time with his answer, and Milliardo didn\'t really need to guess why-- he had, after all, just gotten off the couch with Duo minutes before.

Yet, that was so much difference between what that had been, and what this was. That had been desperation, and a certain level of whoring all over again. This was the complete opposite; he wanted Heero, to feel Heero\'s skin, to see Heero\'s face. With Duo it had been a faceless fuck. With Heero, he wanted to offer himself, rather than use his body as a bargaining chip.

As he was pushed onto the bed, Milliardo\'s skin prickled all over. This bed, with Heero... never in his wildest fantasies had he thought he\'d ever find himself here again.

He was practically writhing as he watched the brunette produce a tube, the likes of which Milliardo had seen many times in his career. This was going to happen.
He ran his hand along Heero\'s inner thigh and watched as the brunette began his preparations; his own erection had reached full force and there were beads of precum glistening at the tip. Milliardo couldn\'t have cared less about his own pulsing need, however-- he wanted to give Heero a release the man would never forget.


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