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Drug Trip	By : Zethsaire Category: Gundam Wing/AC > Yaoi - Male/Male > Heero/Duo Views: 790 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing or any of the characters. I don't make money off this story.

Chapter List
- 8
- 9
- 10
Author's notes: Currently the couples in this fic are 5x6 and 2xOC. (Yes, yes...boooooo and all that.) There will be more in the future but I really don't feel like ruining everything by writing out a huge list of couples. You'll just have to wait! But I can guarantee that if you don't like 1x2, this fic ain't for you!

I would also like to add that I don't condone illegal drug abuse. It fucks up a lot of things for a lot of people...that's kind of the point of this story. Obviously if you DO choose to do drugs, that's your decision and I'm not condemning you by any means, but I'm also not actively promoting drug use with this fic.

Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing or the any of the characters, universe, etc. etc. I don't plan on making money of this fic in any way. It is for pure enjoyment and writing practice only! That being said, the writing is still mine, and as a creative concept, it still belongs to me, so please ask before re-posting. Thanks!

Chapter Eight

Sunday, March 23rd, AC 204, 9 am

Screams filled the air. Men dying, blown to pieces all around him. Blood running so think on the ground that it made waves like a miniature sea. Fire and chaos all around him, his skin covered in bits of gore, looking as if he'd bathed in blood. He casually killed the survivors, the dying. It wasn't that he didn't care, he was just dead inside himself, cut off from the rest of reality. He was a soldier, not a person, he had no feelings, no sense of self. Only the mission, only the next assignment to carry out. He was nothing, he was no one. He was death.

Heero came awake in a single, heart-wrenching jerk. His hair was matted to his head with sweat and his hands were shaking. He was filled with a consuming need, his entire body demanding the drug, that sweet substance that would pull everything back into focus. The drug that had destroyed him. Even though he knew what it would do to him, having faced the reality moments before, he still wanted it with a desire so strong he thought he would die. He gripped the sheets and clenched his teeth to keep from screaming with want.

Time...dragged. Minutes, hours, or days later; it all felt like an eternity, his need slowly lessened. It didn't go away, but it slid into the crevices of his consciousness, waiting for the next opportunity to overwhelm him. Heero gasped in relief when it had faded enough for him to safely unclenched his teeth and release the death grip on the sheets.

Needless to say, this was not his ideal method of waking up in the morning. The vividness of his dreams could only mean that his heroin withdrawal had begun. Heroin had been his staple drug, but he had basically taken whatever he could whenever he could get it. Since moving back in with Duo, he hadn't shot up at all. Well, he had that one night Demetri had pissed him off. But since then, he'd been entirely heroin free.

That wasn't really a good thing. Heroin had kept the need down. It was the only thing that pushed back his cravings for the drug he'd been raised on. Methadone helped with his heroin withdrawal, but did nothing for that base, primal need he felt. He probably wouldn't have actual withdrawal symptoms – the methadone would help with that. But his dreams and his cravings for his original addiction would only get worse from now on.

Depression still clung to him thickly, along with the panic and disgust that always followed on the heels of this type of nightmare. By force of will he crawled out of bed, even if what he wanted to do was curl up in a ball and start weeping. Not here – he couldn't show Wufei that sort of weakness, regardless of how kind the men had been treating him.

He stumbled out of his room and across the hall into the guest bathroom and into the shower with only minor difficulty. The hot water chased away some of the residual nightmare shakes, once he convinced himself it was indeed water and not blood. He even managed to relax a little under the spray, though it didn't rid himself of the desire for something to take the pain away.

Since he'd neglected to bring clean clothes in with him, he wrapped a towel around his waist, intending on heading back to his room to get changed and ready to face whatever was left of the day. He was not expecting to walk out into the hallway and nearly get knocked down by Wufei, who, after helping him up, proceeded to very obviously check him out.

"You see something you like?" Heero asked, after gathering the bits of his shattered reality.

Wufei finally looked up from staring and said blandly, "Gain another thirty pounds and maybe we'll talk Yuy. I don't like skinny men."

"I didn't know you liked men at all."

"I've had years of practice pretending otherwise."

Heero casually leaned up against the wall and tried to pretend everything was normal. Wufei could look if he wanted; plenty of people had. And it wasn't like he had a problem with gay men either, it was just that his mind had difficulty grasping the concept of stern, stiff Wufei openly checking out anyone, much less him.

"Sally said something about a marriage of convenience?" He said, trying to distract Wufei.

"Ah yes, that. It's not that I didn't like her- I can appreciate people of either gender, and there is something about strong women that attracts me. However, as much as I appreciate all my clan has done for me, I am not their son anymore. After the war, I couldn't go back to that life."

"I understand." He hadn't had a home to return to, but he still felt he could at least sympathize with what Wufei was talking about.

Wufei sighed. "I felt obligated to do my duty to them, but I am not going to be tied down my whole life. I want to build something new, something peaceful, not spend all my time mired in politics trying to rebuild a colony. I assist financially, but I think Li will be much better suited to leadership then I. He already has a passion for people I have never had."

"He seems like a nice kid."

"Sally and Mai are good mothers. Mai was very understanding about the whole thing."

"You mean they were together when..."

Wufei's face grew hard. "It was just after you left. Sally was pregnant with Li, and the stress of your disappearance was very hard on her. Mai was her midwife, and without her, Sally could have lost the baby."

"I'm...sorry." He'd never thought about the widespread consequences of his actions. He'd left to save his friends from having to deal with his pain. It was becoming clear to him that he hadn't solved anything, but he still wasn't convinced staying would have been any better.

"Sally and Mai grew close over the course of Sally's pregnancy. After Li was born, Sally eventually told me how she felt about Mai. I knew she preferred women, even though she tried very hard to convince me otherwise. I was going to break it off then, but Sally wanted another child, so we stayed together officially until Jun was born, though Sally and Mai were basically a couple at that point."

"I never would have expected that level of openness from you Wufei."

Wufei snorted. "I am not, and never will be, as open as Winner or Maxwell. That doesn't mean I won't look if some guy runs into me." He smirked viciously.

Heero colored.

"In all seriousness Yuy, you should go get dressed. I'll go print out all the forms you'll need, and take you home. Fill them out and bring them in to me on Monday, and we'll figure out how often you need to come in and test the security. I'll set up some way for you to yell at our programmer too. I'm sure you will have problem with his defensive code.

"Thanks Wufei...for everything. I really appreciate it."

"Just...make sure Duo is happy."

"I'll try." And he would. But if what made Duo happy was leaving him alone with Demetri, well, that would be difficult at best. Unfortunately he had no ideas on how to win Duo back, especially after all the shit that had passed between them. So far they'd acted like it had never happened, but it had, and eventually that was going to come into play.

It didn't take him that long to get dressed, since he hadn't brought any of his elaborate outfits with him. He actually had picked out that blue shirt Duo had liked so much, though he was wearing it with regular jeans today. It was difficult not to get depressed thinking about the fact that Duo probably wouldn't appreciate it, since he'd just had a huge dose of his boyfriend. Maybe Wufei would like it.

And he stopped that thought right there. He definitely didn't need to get involved with Wufei. Not only would the Chinese man probably kill him, it would complicate matters beyond reconciliation, if that was possible at this point. And he didn't really want to do anything with Wufei, it was just nice to be appreciated.

Admit it Yuy, you're just horny. It was probably true. He hadn't gotten laid yesterday, and if he started working legitimately for the Preventers, it would probably be a while before he got fucked again. Well, he'd just have to get over it. It wasn't like there were people lining up at the door to fuck him.

With that rather depressing thought in mind, Heero headed out to the kitchen in search of breakfast. He wasn't particularly hungry, but Sally would be on his case if he didn't start eating, and probably Wufei as well. He'd brought the vitamins from his bag and he took the time to take each recommended dose with a large glass of water. Then he mixed what was left of the water with a large scoop of the powder Sally had mixed for him. It tasted awful.

Wufei had left him out a bowl of congee, which was still steaming. The rice porridge didn't look all that appetizing, but what else was new? He wasn't about to leave it there and offend Wufei, especially when the other man had little reason to be charitable to him in the first place. It went down easily enough, and might have even tasted good, if Heero was able to taste anything.

He had just finished his meal when he heard the doorbell ring. Since Wufei didn't appear when it rang, or to answer the next two patient rings, Heero sighed and got up to answer it himself. He needed to go smoke anyways. Just because he'd decided to stay away from needles didn't mean he was going to give up all his drugs at once.

Heero wasn't sure who he'd been expecting to see; Duo perhaps, or maybe Sally, coming to check on him. He was not expecting to see Zechs Merquise, who hid the two lilies he had been carrying behind his back, and asked calmly if Wufei was available. He was obviously dating Wufei, both because of the stupid grin on his face, and the fact that he had flowers. If Zechs wasn't dating him, Wufei would have probably decked the blonde for daring to offend his sexuality by bringing him flowers. Of course, Wufei had also checked Heero out, which was something he'd never expected to go with the concept of Wufei's sexual orientation.

"This has got to stop happening to me." Heero groaned. If he moved in with Sally, would he be free from having to answer the door for other people's boyfriends? The thought of Wufei being in any sort of relationship with Zechs made his stomach turn.

"Wufei, you owe me a pack of cigarettes! Your boyfriend is here!" He hollered into the house. If Wufei couldn't hear something that loud, he'd gone deaf.

Pushing his way past Zechs, who was still waiting patiently at the door, he pulled out a cigarette , fully intending on beginning a day long chain smoking spree. The universe was ignoring his needs and wants however, because before he'd even gotten the first cigarette lit, Zechs turned to stare at him intently. He didn't say anything; just watched him light it and start smoking. It was freaking Heero out.

"Yamato Saito?" Zechs asked at last, finally recognizing him.

Heero looked at him with his cigarette between his teeth and didn't say anything. What could he say? 'What's up Zechs, it's been a long time, can't believe you're the one to finally fuck Wufei?' Hardly appropriate.

"I'm Zechs Merquise. You did a party for me last year. I have to say I'm surprised to see you here. Is my boyfriend cheating on me already?"

"No, I'm not." Wufei said irritably, appearing at the door.

Heero was busy choking on the smoke he'd inhaled in shock to give any kind of answer, but Wufei seemed to have things well in hand. He'd done a party for Zechs? He didn't remember that at all. Had they...had he and Zechs...Heero felt ill.

"He's a friend of Duo's, and he's staying there. But Duo and Demetri were having a make-up fest, so I brought him back here. No one needs to be stuck in the middle of that." Wufei explained crossly.

"I've heard Duo can be quite...vigorous." Zechs agreed. Then he grinned slyly. "Are you sure you didn't -"

"I didn't. I told him to call me if he gains some weight, but he's too skinny for me." Zechs' jaw dropped at the nonchalant way that Wufei imparted this knowledge.

"Are those for me?" Wufei glared pointedly at the lilies.

"Uh...yes." Zechs seemed rather embarrassed.

"Go put them inside then. I need to take Yamato home before we go out."

Sufficiently chastised, Zechs went in the apartment, and Wufei turned back to Heero. "Here Yamato." Wufei handed him a folder of papers and his overnight bag. "I figured if Zechs was here you would want to leave as soon as you could."

Heero nodded. He'd had quite enough of being stuck between lovers for a while. "Yes please." He followed Wufei to his car, got in, and rolled the window down to continue smoking nervously. Wufei gave him a sharp look, but only sighed, and didn't comment on it.

"He wasn't supposed to be here this early. I wasn't trying to make you uncomfortable." Wufei said as they drove off.

"It's fine." But it really wasn't. The whole situation was a complete clusterfuck.

"I heard him say you did a party for him. Do you...need to talk to someone?"

"I really don't want to talk about it, no." Heero said bitterly. "Besides, shouldn't you be the one who's upset? I probably fucked your boyfriend."

"So?"

"You don't care?" Heero looked at Wufei, but he couldn't tell if the other man was lying or not.

"Why should I care? It wasn't like we were together at the time, if something even happened. You're a sexy man, and I hope Zechs had a good time." Wufei shrugged. He'd definitely been spending too much time with Duo if that was how he honestly felt about it.

"I'm more concerned about the fact that you probably didn't want to fuck him." Wufei continued.

"I'm sure I wanted to get paid." Heero said darkly.

"That's not the same thing."

"It is when you're a whore."

"Dammit Heero!" Wufei snarled, "You're not a whore. You're a warrior, and a good man, and how you feel matters. You did what you thought you needed to do to survive, and that's alright. But you don't have to lie to yourself and pretend you were happy about it."

Heero stared at him with pain filled eyes. "What else am I supposed to do?" He asked hoarsely. "I used to have a purpose. I was a killer, but I had a purpose, a reason for living. Then I lost that, and I was just a drug addict. I tried to make something of myself, I really did. But I failed. And then, when I became a prostitute, at least I was something again. I had a place, a purpose, and I was good at it. Of course I hate it, but it's not like I enjoyed killing either. I accepted it, and moved on. Everyone else seems to think I should quit. If I stop selling myself, I'll be nothing again!"

"You won't be nothing." Wufei said gently. "You're my friend. We went through a lot together Heero. You're still a Gundam Pilot, no matter what happens to you. We saw things, and did things, that separate us from normal people. It's hard, but remember that Duo and I are here for you. Zechs and Quatre too, if you feel like letting them know."

"...why won't any of you talk about Trowa? You purposely left him out." Heero really wanted to talk about someone else now.

Wufei's face darkened. "Trowa left us first."

"So did I, and you all still talk to me." Heero pointed out.

"You ran off, true, and I won't say I'm not still pissed about it." Wufei was obviously angry; his hands gripped the steering wheel until his knuckles turned white.

"What did Trowa do then, that was so much worse then that?" Heero wondered.

"Quatre wouldn't marry him, because of his family, and Barton couldn't accept that." Wufei spat. "So he left, and broke all the bonds between them."

"He did what?" Quatre was a powerful empath, and his power had only grown as time went on. He needed an anchor, a stabilizer to keep him grounded in reality. Trowa had been that anchor since the day they'd met. Heero couldn't imagine what had happened to Quatre when that anchor was gone.

"He basically ripped Quatre's heart out. Quatre almost died."

"Shit."

"After Barton left, Quatre gave up his place in the succession of his company. He travels around doing music now. It's the only thing that keeps him partially sane, and I'm not sure how stable he is, even now." Wufei sounded more then a little upset about that.

"Can't anyone else...anchor for him?" Quatre not having an anchor was a serious problem. Without someone to stabilize him, he could go insane, or even die. No one could take Trowa's place, of course, but any sort of anchor would be better then nothing at all.

"We tried. Duo is too emotional, and I still have too much anger. When he bonded with Duo he was cascading from one emotion to the next; worse then a rapid-cycling bi-polar. The bond wouldn't take with me at all." Wufei sounded more then a little hurt by that. "As much as I despise him now, Barton was very good at controlling his emotions. I don't know if Quatre is ever going to feel secure again."

"I should track Trowa down." Heero growled. No matter what Quatre had done, he hadn't deserved something like that. And since he was the resident expert on running off and screwing everyone he left behind, he would be the best person for the job of making Trowa see exactly how much of a douchefag he'd been. And of course, a little educational beating couldn't hurt.

"Don't." Wufei warned him. "Barton works for Relena now as her head of security. They might even be closer then that. The media certainly thinks so. You do anything to him, and Relena will know about it. And don't think she'll hesitate to tell the press, because she won't."

Trowa had been someone Heero had been looking forward to talking to again. As the group's stand-in medic, Trowa had known about Heero's drug problem. Hell, he'd had to. When Heero had woken up a month after his own self-destruction, he'd been in agony. Between his injuries and the withdrawal, he'd had to tell Trowa. Trowa had gone and collected one of Heero's emergency stashes of the stuff, since his normal supply had been destroyed along with his Gundam.

Trowa hadn't approved of Heero's drug use, and had often tried to get him to quit. If anyone would understand what he was going through right now, it would be Trowa. But it looked like talking to him was out of the question. "I guess I'll just join the communal shunning then."

Wufei snorted. "If you contact Quatre...don't bring it up."

"Obviously." He didn't want to bring Quatre any more pain.

"And...if you ever feel like letting Zechs in on the secret, you don't have to worry about him telling Relena or anything. When Zechs dropped out of the succession they lost contact with each other. Since we've started dating, they haven't spoken at all." Aaaaand they were back to Zechs.

"It's amazing what you miss when you're on a drug trip for six years." Heero remarked dryly. "And I doubt I'm going to tell Zechs any time soon, unless he figures it out on his own. Don't be surprised if I go super feminine while he's around. Or anyone who doesn't know, in fact. I have a reputation to keep up."

"Whatever you say Heero." Wufei agreed, as they pulled up in front of Duo's place. Heero knew he was having trouble picturing Heero in a feminine way. Well, he'd find out soon enough. "I'll see you tomorrow."

"I'll catch a ride in with Duo." Heero told him, and got out of the car. "And Wufei – thanks. For everything."

"You're welcome."

"Don't keep Zechs waiting." Heero said seriously, then smirked. "I'm sure you two have lots to do together."

"That," Wufei snapped, "Is none of your business."

"Of course not." Heero grinned at Wufei's discomfort.

"Goodbye, Heero. And please think about getting that ID. I'd be more then happy to take care of it for you."

"I'll think about it, Wufei. Thanks."

Wufei drove off, and Heero lit another cigarette, sitting on the step and smoking it and two more before he finally got up to go inside. He really wished he was smoking something a bit more potent, but at least cigarettes helped soothe his nervous oral fixation. After leaving the apartment so abruptly, Heero wasn't exactly sure what he was going to say to Duo, but he couldn't stay outside all night.

He took a deep breath to calm himself, and opened the door. Duo was sitting on the couch, reading, and looked up at Heero's entrance. A huge grin broke out on his face, and he leaped up and threw himself across the room to embrace Heero. Heero could only stand there, stunned, as Duo squeezed the life out of him with a giant hug. He thought his ribs would break before Duo released him.

"Sorry, I got a little carried away." Duo said sheepishly. "I wasn't sure you were coming back. I'm just happy to see you."

"I told you I wasn't going to run again. You could have called my cellphone."

"Oh...yeah. I'm not used to that I guess."

"I'm sure your brain was a little scrambled." Heero said, while his brain tried to ignore the words coming out of his mouth. He would not think about Duo and make-up sex.

"Heh. Yeah. Sorry about that. I didn't mean for you to get caught up in that. Did you have a good time at Wufei's?"

"It was alright." He answered honestly.

"Good! Lets go get some lunch, I'm starving!"

Duo's cheerfulness was infectious. Heero found himself putting his bags down and following Duo out the door, even though he wasn't hungry. Even though he had left in a terrible mood, he couldn't help but feel better. Things weren't ideal, but for now, it was good to be home.

End Chapter Eight

Notes: Moving right along, here is chapter eight! Relatively similar to the last time it was posted, there are a few minor changes.

I have been informed by a wonderful reader that Preventer's HQ is in Brussels, Belgium. Which is a weird choice for a global headquarters, don't you think? Anyways, I'm going to have to do some research about Brussels. Well. Not too much, because we can pretty much assume that x amount of years from now it's probably not going to be the same. But some.

As always, if anyone notices any spelling errors or grammar mistakes, let me know and I will do my best to fix them. And if you see anything that is glaringly wrong as far as canon goes, let me know too. I might have done it on purpose, but it probably is because I haven't seen the show in an unfortunate length of time.

Also! Because of the policy changes/enforcement going on with , all lemon scenes (yes, there will be some eventually) will be posted on . I will post links at the beginning of respected chapters. Sorry for any inconvenience.

Zethsaire, out!
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Drug Trip