Uncertainty and Pride | By : TristaML Category: Dragon Ball Z > Yaoi - Male/Male Views: 1864 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0 |
Disclaimer: I do not own DBZ or anything of the sort and I make no money from writing this piece of fanfiction |
FantasyTigeress: Aww, again, thank you :) I must confess that Turles is not in this story. The version of DBZ I watched did not mention him having any ties to Goku's family, despite his looks, I know that's kind of weird, I actually looked it up after you said something just to make sure. I think it's more common for people to think that he IS Goku's lost twin or even his uncle and I wish I had thought of that! It would have made for a much more interesting contrast of characters! Still, I'm sorry to say that I didn't, but I hope you continue to enjoy this story anyway. Thank you for reading and reviewing :)
As always, I hope you guys enjoy :) Only one chapter for tonight, I will post the next one in the next few days.
Chapter 9
Ivony could bear it no longer. The King could keep himself busy if that’s what he chose to be for the best, but sitting around and doing nothing about their circumstances was not her style. Beyond the foremost fears of the anarchy within their system, Ivony has wished, more than anything, she could find some other confidants aside from her lover and her friend, Jetome.
She’s had a great suspicion of Raditz knowing more than he’s lead on for some time now, ever since the death of Rori, actually, and she could no longer go on without speaking with him about it, so she looked for Raditz for some time but she was unable to find him. He was not with Banin as she had originally supposed, and yet, neither was he with the King, and she found the need to see him that much more serious the more unavailable he seemed. She checked in on Bardock and had a pleasant conversation with him, ever the gentlemen he is, and even found Kakarot in the dining hall, but no Raditz.
Little did she suspect him to be with the last person she went to, her partner in life, Anyun, but it is there that she found him, nonetheless. Her face betrayed her surprise at seeing the two together. She didn’t know why she found it so strange, Anyun is Raditz’s supervisor. Still, Raditz usually wasn’t too involved in tactical conquests.
Raditz stood up upon her entrance and bowed to her. Anyun smiled at her and asked what he could do for her with a slight hint of a sexual undertone.
Ivony only smiled at him, but with Raditz she bestowed a much more inquisitive stare. The two lovers kissed and Raditz declared he was leaving.
“Wait just a minute outside the door for me, won’t you, Commander?” Ivony asked, and Raditz knew he couldn’t refuse. He nodded and did as he was told. Ivony turned to her lover as the door was being closed, “Something serious must be going on, his Highness never sends Commander Raditz to you unless there is good reason.”
Anyun nodded at her, “There is reason, but in what realm the reason stands I have yet to determine.”
Ivony nodded and kissed him once more, stating, “I just wanted to see you for a moment,” and then she stated that she was currently on an errand, and promised to swing by later.
She found Raditz waiting for her patiently. “Follow me, Commander, we have something to discuss.”
Raditz, again, did as he was told. He didn’t think it too strange that Ivony would like to speak with him considering he was just sent to his boss, Anyun, to discuss some things. The King is certainly acting as if they are at war, but no such war has been announced.
They reached a quarter of the building which was given to Ivony for her line of work, and Raditz began to grow nervous at what she desired to speak with him about. He followed her into her office and from there she told him to sit, and she sat as well, crossing her legs and leaning back as she stared daggers into Raditz’s eyes.
“I know why you fought Rori, Raditz,” she claimed, and even though her air demanded that he respect and acknowledge her, he didn’t need it to convince him; he believed her very seriously. His heart froze and his jaw clenched and Ivony watched him closely. She said, laughingly, “Do not fool yourself into thinking that no one knew about you and Banin prior to your announced engagement. I know that you were only there because of the odd hours you two had to share, and that night in particular you caught wind of change which you could not ignore. Which means that you must understand: I know about the men you saw that night, and about their meetings, and I am not the only one.”
Raditz could not speak, nor could he remove the lump from his throat.
Ivony carried on, “You have been living in petrified fear for some time now, Raditz, and you didn’t truly see it until recently. That is why Banin proposed to you and that is why you accepted.”
Raditz was shocked by her insight and found that he had nothing to say, but she didn’t mean for him to have anything to say, as she continued, her eyes slanted and gauging;
“There is a civil war brewing right here, right now, and now you are aware of it. You must have been ignorant of it before that morning- I know that because of your reaction- You jumped into battle without consideration for the outcome. What if he had killed you?” she paused, and seriously waited for a reply.
Raditz’s shoulders shook and he replied, barely in a whisper, “I do not know.”
Ivony was at least satisfied that he wasn’t pretending to be ignorant of anything. She sighed and asked, moreover, “Why have you not told your King what you know? Is that not treason in and of itself?”
Raditz only waited a moment before blurting out his answer; “Ivony, please, I have his best intentions in mind. I know I am the cause of Rori’s murder! I know that his Highness is missing him, now, even though he will not admit it. I can’t bear to bring him pain and yet it’s already been done.”
Ivony growled at him and leaned in closer, “Rori is one thing, and our King does not err; you know that’s not what I’m talking about.”
Raditz shuddered and said, cornered, “I’ve been terrified of who to speak to on the matter of their intentions! I never imagined anything like this would be going on, and I feel so terrible that I never noticed it before. Because I have been so ignorant, I cannot trust myself to decide in this case who is friend and who is foe, and I didn’t know how to bring it up to his Majesty without having any proof other than what I heard that morning. To my shame, Ivony, I have kept it to myself.”
“Raditz,” her voice shook, and her eyes were piercing, but as she spoke her demeanor changed into something gentler than the interrogation she was previously giving, “Does it please you to know now that you are not alone? Indeed, I know that even Banin has been keeping this a secret from you, or so he thinks.”
“Banin?” Raditz asked, shocked to hear it, and he finally cleared his throat, “Banin knows about this?”
Ivony chuckled at him, and he could see now that she was only testing him, to what point he couldn’t ascertain, still she answered, “You are aware of the fact that Anyun and Banin used to be a rather serious couple? I probably know Banin better than you.”
Raditz knew that there had been some jealousy between the two for a while, but that they were men and women of class, and they had set it aside long ago. He never considered the details of relationships of such importance before, (nor the importance of the relationship) and for a brief moment he felt smaller in the world than usual. Suddenly he asked, “Is his Highness aware of the… situation?”
Ivony replied, “I cannot say, for that I do not know. You are not the only one who fears bringing it to his attention. Furthermore, I have come to see you today to discuss more the meaning of such knowledge with someone who I believe I can trust. Can I trust you, Raditz?”
“I am nothing as a man if not a loyal subject to my King. Yes, Ivony, you can trust me.”
“Very good,” she nodded, and she was reminded of why Vegeta likes him so much. “Raditz, I need you to stay the course, as much as possible, but follow your gut on this one. It is said that even a socially wrong choice at the right time can make all the difference. There are few men who would even speak of such an uprising, and therefore you were right to believe you can trust no one, save for the handful of men I’m sure you’ve already put good faith into. I’d like to add myself, Anyun, and Jetome into that circle.”
Raditz found that he was shaking uncontrollably and he cried, “What good will our loyal circles do us if we do not know our enemy? I am afraid…” Raditz stopped in his tracks, knowing better than to speak of the visitors the King warned him not to talk about.
Ivony did not understand that he meant to speak more on other things, and instead she said to him, “I believe that our King still has sovereign rule, Raditz, but we must remain cautious nonetheless. Would that I could convince the King to sleep alone every night, then perhaps I would feel better about his safety, yet his habits are as such, and his appetite nearly insatiable. No fool in this castle would charge him while he’s awake, I believe. Perhaps we can keep an extra close eye on his quarters.”
King Vegeta was obsessed with both his new toy and his new plaything.
Several weeks passed with the two men training nonstop in the GM. Each day was different but every time they trained the air became even thicker between them, and the tension more trying. Amidst the adrenalin rush of becoming stronger, there was such a strong lust building between them that the King was beyond completely ignoring it and Kakarot tried his best to stay in control, at least until it was perfectly clear the King wouldn’t turn him down, but Vegeta could be so temperamental.
The King, however, was not as reserved and since he was smitten with Kakarot, he couldn’t help but subtly tease him. In fact, it was so nonchalant, that he hadn’t noticed himself doing it until he observed an equally subtle reaction out of the young man. Some days it would go from staring at him unceasingly, to which Kakarot would sometimes return in challenge and sometimes he squirmed, to lingering touches other days, and sometimes even unquestionable sultry looks and innuendo’s in his comments.
The only exception was that on one particular day Vegeta was being extra flirtatious, but cunningly swift, and Kakarot was so enticed by him, that when the King punched him, instead of punching him back, he kissed him. The King moaned into the kiss and pulled Kakarot closer before pulling away and slapping him.
“You like to kiss me?!” Vegeta asked him, amazed that this is the third time he’s been so bold (sixth or seventh, if you count his dreams).
Kakarot smirked at him and answered, “Yeah, I do.”
The King laughed and a slight coloring came to his cheeks, and he backed away from Kakarot a little, afraid that he might give in to temptation.
When he retired later on that evening, he realized that Kakarot was becoming a problem.
As of late, the King felt more uneasy over the obstacles in his life, so he stuck to what came natural and easy: training, eating, and sex. At least, after he did all three he could find some sleep.
There was a loophole, though. Training was only adding fuel to a fire Vegeta had never had a problem with before; sexual frustration. Kakarot was now his number one desire, his number one conquest, and yet, he must remain also his number one taboo. He was a lower-class man and Vegeta figured that as long as he didn’t cross any lines with him, he wouldn’t have to feel guilty about wanting him so much, and he could live with keeping it a secret.
His heart was in conflict, though, for his thoughts about Kakarot had much more to do with him as a whole than just as an object of general interest. It was that very desire to find out more about him, to challenge him on every level, and to experience new moments with him, which both kept Vegeta at bay and yet made him ludicrously attracted to him.
Sex was something natural and normal and Vegeta had always sought it often. Now that Rori is out of the picture, many of the men and women of the castle have offered their affections to the King, and they knew that he was rebounding, and they didn’t care. Vegeta often chose those he was familiar with, and who he knew understood their place in the castle. Tonight was just the usual; he led his chosen lover to the bed and began the sensual ritual of getting off just to get off.
King Vegeta couldn’t deny, though, that the trouble he’s been having is unnerving and it seems almost unavoidable. Instead of enjoying undressing this man beneath him, he let his thoughts wonder far and often, even as his hands trailed down the man’s body. The Saiyan under him moaned and sauntered to turn Vegeta on, but the one Saiyan who seemed to creep into his mind the most was also the same man he wasn’t supposed to want or be thinking about. Kakarot was there with him on his mind, especially during times like these. After spending so much time with the young third-class Saiyan, King Vegeta couldn’t help but imagine it was Kakarot panting below him.
He didn’t want to be weak for the man. He was weak for no one.
Vegeta came back from his thoughts as the Saiyan beneath him began to guide Vegeta’s cock inside of him, but it was far too easy to get lost in the routine. This was just the next best substitute to Kakarot, and he wanted it as often as he could get it. He began to pump in and out of the man harshly as his thoughts whirred on.
He’d be damned if he would give in to Kakarot, but not because he was completely against the idea of everyone knowing that they had sex. No, actually all things considered, that would be more of a prize than anything (Kakarot is gorgeous by any standards and stronger than any opponent he’s met thus far), he refuses to give in to any feelings about him, in fear of them actually becoming something more.
Kakarot’s given him so much to think about.
Vegeta guided the man beneath him with rough hands, forcing him into a different position, before going back to giving him every inch of his cock. Still, the thought of Kakarot wouldn’t leave him. Why he was obsessing over this he would never know! If Kakarot had never mentioned them being a couple in that other life, then Vegeta wasn’t so sure he would even be thinking about this being an issue. If he wasn’t supposed to become a Legendary, Vegeta doubted he’d care at all! Now, with him grinding into this man’s hips, hearing his heightening cries, he knew for certain that something wasn’t right.
Vegeta had to shove the man beneath him down again, as he tried to focus on what was right in front of him. Rarely has there ever been a situation that’s made him nervous in the bedroom, but this certainly is making him unsettled.
The worst of it is that night after night it’s the same; he continues to bed whomever and then wishes to be alone, so he asks them to leave, never thinking twice about them once they’re gone. Kakarot was constantly plaguing him and even now, in the throes of fucking another male in Vegeta’s favorite position, he had to stop himself from whispering Kakarot’s name into the stiff air.
Those are not his moans, this is not his body. Vegeta realized that this is not what he wants or who he wants or how he wants to behave. He finished, and sent the man on his way rather harshly, and from there he silently berated himself. He decided that he would refuse to see anyone else for a while if he could help it.
Bardock knew he had been forgotten about. The King had no reason to ask him to train with them, and he was grateful for the extra time, but weary all the same. He has already constructed a second machine, which he is keeping a secret from the King, just in case they destroy his first one completely, and he’s considering what other machines he can make to accompany them in their training. However, he is beginning to feel resentful about the device that he has made.
There were problems arising within the castle, even outside of the fact that the King is too busy with his own ambitions to run the planet properly. In fact, the King had become even more of a recluse, and Bardock saw a host of things that needed tending to, but there was no one willing to step in and speak of them with the King because there was no one fit to do so. In spite of even his own sons’ strange predicaments with the King, neither of them could reach him, Raditz and Banin were busy making plans, and Kakarot, well, it was just hard trying. Unfortunately for himself, he decided he would be the one to do it. There is no choice in the matter, not now, after learning the chief of Raditz’s concerns for the King (much to his dismay), something must be done.
It was a fresh new morning and Bardock figured the best time of day to speak with his King and hopefully get him to acknowledge that all of his attention could not continue to stray from his responsibilities and for the first time, Bardock told his King that he desired to speak with him in private. The conversation that followed was not pretty.
He laid his case against him in a fatherly way, explaining all of his concerns to him as he began with, “My Lord, I beg your pardon, but I feel it incumbent upon me to express to you some fears I’ve been having.”
“Hah!” The King laughed, not expecting this, and he crossed his arms, but added, “By all means, do go on!”
Bardock smiled slyly at him, noting his good mood and hoping it would allow him some understanding. He said in confidence, “You’ve been absent from many lives for a while now, and even among those you share your presence with, we can all tell your thoughts are not really with us.” Bardock saw his countenance change. The King wasn’t smiling anymore but he said nothing in response to Bardock’s accusations, so he continued speaking, in spite of the danger, “I know what you are thinking of, your Highness. You don’t care if you die in pursuit of your goals, but you cannot live your life in your father’s shadow, afraid to try; afraid to mess up.” Vegeta held his anger in check as he listened, locking his jaw and gritting his teeth. Bardock didn’t heed his warning signs, he merely continued to state his case and he spoke gently as he said, “I know that management is not something you looked forward to in becoming King, but that does not mean that it is something that can be avoided. I need you to understand that just because you have strength to defeat opposition to you in battle, does not mean that resistance shouldn’t be checked beforehand- even resistance you deem beneath you.”
There was no flash of recognition in the King’s eyes where Bardock hoped he would see some, but then again, there was no denial in his eyes either.
The King, catching onto what Bardock was insinuating, tilted his chin and wondered, “Where, exactly, are you getting your information from?” and then felt stupid for asking such an ignorant question. Bardock gets information as he pleases from whom he pleases.
Bardock only answered, figuring that if the King didn’t know about the treason before that at least he knows now, “You’ve been making decisions without explaining your reasons, my Lord. The men want to know what’s going on; why you approved of Banin and Raditz; why you killed Rori, and whether or not you even care, among other things. They want to know what became of your father; and why you’re training so hard with a third-class citizen.”
“Hn,” Vegeta frowned, but he didn’t even attempt to give him a half-assed answer.
Bardock realized that perhaps his King was in some sort of denial, or he does feel guilty of his shortcomings, since he wasn’t acknowledging any of them. He said, “You have done nothing but train and ignore the people for so long now, with no explanation or time of day given to nearly any your subjects. Some of those who do follow you believe you to be nearly insane, my Lord, and naturally they fear your wrath more so than you think.”
“Good,” the King replied, empty inside.
Bardock was more concerned by his cool temper than if he would have blown up on him, but he replied without pretense, “You may think so, but I disagree, and not for the sake of the Kingdom, but for your sake. I wish that you would stop being so nonsensical, your Highness. You cannot go on pretending that nothing else matters, and you cannot keep your true purpose a secret forever. Perhaps if they knew about Brolly they would understand and-”
“What do you care, Bardock?” the King finally asked, not hearing him for what he meant and not wanting to hear any more. He wondered, “Why should it matter to you what any of them think of me?” A moment before Bardock could respond the King began to laugh and he added, “You think I’m afraid of a little rebellion when I have real troubles on my mind?”
Bardock couldn’t hide his surprise or his disappointment. He answered, heatedly, “I’ve respected you since you were born. I bowed the day of your birth, and the day of your Coronation, not in blind salute, but in heavy consideration of your plight and the promise of your long and prosperous reign. I truly want the best from you and, like a father; I expect it, too, but this?! This self-centered, ignorant, foolish behavior is most unsuitable.”
Vegeta continued shutting off all emotional ties but the more he cared, the angrier he got about it and he bit back in contempt, “You are not him.”
Bardock answered, sharply, “And you are not Frieza! You will lead our people to the slaughter while your will is consumed with domination! What then will you have to live for? You will find that you face the end alone, when it is time, and after living such a selfish and reckless life, you should be so lucky to have anyone wish to save you!”
Vegeta snarled and said, “I thought I made it clear I wish for no help! I desire no man’s hand in assistance in any way!”
“Then let me make it clear to you that you cannot do it alone! You spend all your time training with my son but only for your own personal gain and you may find yourself to be more disappointed in the end than even you can bear if you continue to ignore the purpose of having such strength and such a partner!”
“Purpose?!” King Vegeta answered mockingly, “What purpose is there in life? If I am to die alone and face consequences all my own, then why should I be concerned with the tender considerations of others?!”
“You are depressed, my King!” Bardock answered desperately, “You have been through so much! But you have not always been so dark minded and extreme. Have you never considered that your suicidal actions have an impact on those around you? We have no heir to the throne! Without you there would be chaos, but as long as you continue to ignore your responsibilities, especially the ones to yourself, chaos will destroy us either way!”
“Oh?! Is this another one of your visions, Bardock?” Vegeta asked sarcastically and held onto his cold exterior, but inside his emotions were threatening to burn through him.
“I’m saying this because you are ruining the lives of those around you who care for you most! And you are destroying yourself for a chance at glory!”
“You don’t know the deeds I have done!” Vegeta’s fury finally broke as he yelled, “You do not know the depths of my flaws!”
“Snap out of this, your Highness!” Bardock hissed, and then his voice came over Vegeta like a tidal wave as he confessed, “All men commit crimes and some of them we even enjoyed doing!”
In his eyes for just a moment King Vegeta saw the monster that lied within. The fire in the pits of Bardock’s eyes raged in war against the embers in Vegeta’s soul. Vegeta replied, heatedly, “Yes, and now I’ll admit a secret to you! I liked it! No- I loved destroying those planets! It made me feel alive as I have not felt since! If I could, I would put our people back in that business! I just might!”
“I see,” Bardock answered, unimpressed with what he was hearing. He said to him, daring to take it so far, “Let me tell you something. Kakarot claims that he knows you, he claims that you are one in the same with the man who he knows from his visions, at least, up until you were eight years old, he knows about your life, and he knows about the man you became.”
Vegeta’s heart raced and his eyes widened as he spoke and he wondered what he would say.
“He told me, when he was seventeen and you were all he talked about, that you weren’t a bad man like you portray yourself to be and that inside you consider all things very deeply. He said that you tend to keep to yourself because you don’t believe in relationships and you fancy yourself to be not much good for company. He said that you refuse to take the time to dispute any blame laid against you because you believed yourself at one point in time to be beyond the promises of love. Your Highness, is that true?”
Vegeta had no words and his face burned at the emotion on Bardock’s face and, of course, all of it was true, but how could Kakarot know that? No one knew that about him! He dwelled on the fact for some time, utterly embarrassed.
Bardock was saddened to see that the King was not denying it, but he answered, in hopes of reaching him, “Perhaps you should consider what that means: He knows you so well that he’s allowing you to pretend like there’s nothing going on between you two…”
“Allowing?!” Vegeta barked, feeling exposed, and he said, “I refuse to permit anything to so much as be considered between us!”
“Then you fight a losing battle, my Lord, and I don’t understand why.” The King began to speak but Bardock stopped him, adding, “My point is this. You have two choices- be broken by Kakarot, who will surely become the better fighter than the two of you- or allow yourself to feel something now, and to consider giving him a chance, before it’s too late and you truly let your rage consume you.”
“I don’t believe I understand you!” The King answered, enraged.
“One day you will,” Bardock said.
King Vegeta punched him and Bardock fought back. The scuffle only lasted a few more blows before the King realized that both of their lips were bloody and this was not the battle he wanted. Bardock’s gaze was impenetrable and his will was being imposed upon Vegeta. The King felt like it was the force of the older Saiyan pressing upon him, willing him to choice his path wisely, and he hadn’t remembered feeling such a phenomenon in a long time.
He dropped his stance against him, and Bardock lowered his defenses as the King said, “I’ll admit that Kakarot is a bit of an enigma to me, and perhaps I should spend a little more time in the presence of my subjects making… important decisions and imposing my will… however, I may have to find something to do with you, Bardock. Perhaps you should leave. I think I will send you home. You’ve spoken to me one too many times a bit too freely, and I would like silence from you for a while.”
Bardock made no reply and behaved in no particular way at his judgement call. He merely bowed and walked out with acute disappointment in him, but still hopeful that something that he had said will make him think about his ways.
The King watched him go and knew that he had much to think of, but nothing to recommend him to do it.
He immediately asked for the removal of Bardock’s personal belongings to go back to his house, and he was to leave, with some significant pay, by midnight tonight.
Hours later when Bardock’s sons heard about the King’s decision, Raditz went to the King to inquire about the strange choice but Kakarot stormed into his father’s quarters wondering what the meaning of it could be. Bardock was not much in the mood to talk. The servants had already done their job, and there was nothing left to keep him there except for one last free meal. He was about to leave his quarters when Kakarot caught him.
“Why is he sending you away?” Kakarot asked, uneasy as he stood inside of the nearly empty room.
“I will do as he wishes, as you said of me before, without question.”
“That does not mean you do not know why,” Kakarot answered him sharply.
“He does not wish to speak with me anymore, or to hear any advice I have,” Bardock explained, “He may regret his decision, but that is not my consequence to deal with.” He looked at him and said, “He will turn on you, Kakarot, surely you know that. He will take all of his aggression out on you when chance arrives. He is not so wholly impressed or enamored with you that he will not try to best you in an attempt to prove something to himself. ”
Kakarot couldn’t answer to that, nor could he speak of it. He did not wish to fight his King, his only wished to fight alongside of him, and he dreamed of ways to avoid such a confrontation constantly.
Before he knew it, Bardock held him closely and said, “Goodbye, my son. I must go, for now. Good luck to you both. Don’t worry, I’ll say goodbye to Raditz before I leave.” He smiled and left quickly.
Kakarot spent the majority of the evening in privacy after his chat with his father, and he wondered if he should try speaking to the King, but he was too weary over circumstances to try. He wanted his father here, with him, and he felt it was wrong of him to be sent away, but there was little he could do, and it would be best to simply lay low for now. Besides, Vegeta has refused to spend any time with him other than training, though Kakarot has asked plenty of times, and so all he can do is wait patiently for his next opportunity to spend some alone time with him and try to reach him somehow.
The conversation Raditz had with the King went much differently. He found him in his quarters, standing at the window, as he usually finds him when he’s alone.
King Vegeta said, without turning to face him, “I already know what you’ve come here to ask me, Commander.”
“Your Highness,” Raditz replied gently, bowing to him even though he couldn’t see it.
King Vegeta became angry at himself, but he wouldn’t admit it, and he wouldn’t change his mind. What’s done is done. He said to Raditz, “I do not wish to explain my reasons. There is no information I can give you other than I want you to know that I am not angry with him.”
Raditz couldn’t respond, because he wouldn’t dare question him, so he only said, “I understand, your Highness.”
At that the King said nothing and Raditz felt the awkward tension in the air.
Vegeta truly wished to ask Raditz about everything Bardock had said of him, not that it was a complete surprise. Still he wanted to know: Are his subjects so afraid of him that they’d rather do away with him? Is even Raditz aware of it and too afraid to bring it up? Is that why Raditz fought Rori? Is that why Rori fought Bardock? He couldn’t bring himself to ask him about any of it though.
Raditz left him as quickly as he’d come, wondering if he should have gone to him in the first place. He hated seeing his King so detached, and he knew that there must be something else going on, but he would have to wait to find out. ‘For how long, though,’ he wondered, and he figured that, as stubborn as the King is, it could take a lifetime to find out what was going on in his mind. Why can he not just speak to him on such important troubles? Has he not always been a dear friend?
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