The Things I\'ll Never Say

notes: I heard the song this fic was based on for the very first time
while writing my current piece \" The Viking \"
and thought it would be perfect for my version of how Duo and Heero
first got together, please be kind this is the first fic I had ever written.
Oh, if this sounds familiar I posted it way back in July at MM.org but
I rewrote it because I didn\'t like how the first version turned out.

author: Vega-Lume aka Little Chibi Demon
started and finished: 6th of July, 2003
rating: G
pairings: 1x2
category: song fic
warnings: yaoi, sap, AU, Heero\'s POV
// Heero\'s thoughts // -lyrics-
disclaimers:
Vel: ( goes to fourtune teller ) Will I ever own Gundam Wing?
Fourtune Teller: You already do... in a past life.
Vel: * sweatdrops* that dose\'nt count.

the song belongs to Avril Lavigne, album- let go- track 9


~Things i\'ll never say~
~ Vel ~
_________________________________________________________________ ___________

I sat in the kitchen of one of Quatre\'s safe houses with my laptop in
front of me.
and just stared at the screen.

// What am I doing, I should be working why can\'t I ?//

Duo came in to the kitchen and walked past me . his sleeve brushing across
my back.

- I\'m staring at my feet, my cheeks are turning red,
i\'m searching for the words inside my head, i\'m feeling nervous,
trying to be so perfect-

// Why is he driving me crazy, stupid baka, I should not be so distracted?//

With a sigh I picked up my laptop and glanced at Duo who just sat down
across the table from me, eating an apple.

- I\'m tug\'in at my hair, i\'m pull\'in at my clothes,
i\'m trying to keep my cool, I know it shows-

I nod an acknowledgment and head to the library hoping to get some work
done there.

// I hope he does\'nt think I\'m avoiding him on purpose.//

Duo and I had not been in the same room together for more than a few
minutes at a time for nearly a month,
no matter how much I tried he just could\'nt stay near him,
my stomach would twist up in knots and it would get hard to breathe.

- If I could say what I want to way, I would want to blow you...away.
Be with you every night, am I squeezing you to tight?
If I could say what I want to see, I want to see you go down...on one knee
merry me today.-

\" Shoot me now\" I said out loud with a sigh as I set up my lap top on the desk,
took a seat and stared at the screen again.

- I\'m trying to be so perfect, cause I know you\'re worth it,
guess i\'m wishing my life away with these things i\'ll never say.-

I froze as the door opened and someone walked in running their hands along
the books in the shelves behind me.

// Please don\'t let it be him//

I turned slowly and gasped quietly when I saw that tell-tale braid
and the tall boy it belonged to.

- It don\'t do me any good, it\'s just a waste of time,
what use is it to you what\'s on my mind, if it ain\'t come\'in out were not go\'in
anywhere, so why can\'t I just tell you I care-

\" Heero, are you o.k.?\" Duo asked me when he noticed I was watching him,
I swallowed.
\" Hn\" I replied turning back top his lap top.

- What wrong with my tongue, these words keep slipping away, I shutter,
I stumble like i\'ve nothing to say-

Duo shook his head and turned back to the books finally selecting one
and silently reading the back cover.

- I\'m feeling nervous, trying to be so prefect, cause I know you\'re worth it,
you\'re worth it, if I could say what I want to see,
I want to see you go down... on one knee
merry me today-

I swallowed hard again, screwing my eyes shut trying to fight the urge to
leave the room again.

- Guess i\'m wishing my life away, with these things i\'ll never say,
cause i\'m feeling nervous, trying to be so perfect,
so why can\'t I just tell you I care?-

I took a deep breath.

// It\'s now or never, i\'ll just pack up my lap top and go to my room
and lock the door and...//

\" Narou {1} \'\' I said out loud slamming my hands on the desk
and pushing myself to his feet. Duo wiped around his braid swishing
behind him with a look on his face that said;
\' What the hell did you say?\' I turned and walked over to the
taller boy grabbing him by his shoulders then standing on my toes I
kissed him full on the lips, Duo\'s violet eyes shot open in surprise
then closed as he leaned in to the kiss,dropping his book and wrapping
his arms around my waist,
I lifted my hands from Duo\'s shoulders digging my fingers in Duo\'s
chestnut hair, my nervousness evaporated as the kiss became more passionate.

\" Oh !... excuse me.\'\' came Quatre\'s startled voice from the now open doorway but
we just ignored him as we continued kissing each other to breathlessness.

// I guess actions do speak louder than words.//

~ Owari~

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{1} damn or dammit