Yopparatta Sex

Title: Yopparatta Sex (Drunk Sex)
Author: Shota-kun
Rating: NC-17
Pairings: Piccolo/Gohan, 18/Kuririn, Trunks/Goten
Warnings: Drunk Piccolo, pervert Roushi (as if he could be anything else), and domimatrix Juuhachigou (you know Kuririn likes it).
Summary: Picc's d's drunk. Really drunk. Really, really, really drunk. Poor Gohan.
Disclaimer: I am not the all-might and all-powerful creator of DBZ, Toriyama Akira-sensei; alas, I am only a poor American gay boy venting out his sexual frustrations through cartoons. That sounded better in my head.


“Gohan, I think…you know what I think? I think…hey, are you listening to me?! I said I love you! At least, I think I said it…I think…”
Gohan sighed. He really hated it when Piccolo got drunk; salted water seemed to have that affect on Namekseijin, and Piccolo had consumed a lot of salted water at the party tonight.
“Gohan, if you don’t start listening to me…I might have to kidnap you again…”
Piccolo nuzzled Gohan’s neck and began nipping at it.
“Or maybe that’s what you’re looking for…you need a littleciplcipline, Gohan? Because I know of a cave those brats haven’t found yet…”
Speaking of those brats, it was getting awfully late; Pan would have definitely exhausted herself out by now, leaving “those brats” – Trunks and Goten – to their own devices.
“Piccolo-san, we can’t, not tonight.” Gohan pushed at Piccolo’s head, trying in vain to remove it from his now bite-marked neck. “If we don’t get back soon, Trunks and Goten might start doing – er – un-babysitter-ly things in your meditation room.”
This would definitely sober Piccolo up some…unless…
“Fuck the little bastards.” Nuzzle, nuzzle, bite.
…unless he had had *way* too much to drink. Which, apparently, Piccolo had.
“Actually, I’d rather fuck you. Right here, right now,” Piccolo growled into Gohan’s neck, a large hand slipping around Gohan’s slim waist, untucking Gohan’s shirt and slipping inside his pants.
“P-Piccolo-san, are you crazy? We can’t do that *here,* this is Muten Roushi-sama’s beach! Somebody could be watching!”
Well, this was actually very unlikely, as the house was pitch black. Everyone inside was either asleep or passed out drunk, but Piccolo probably wouldn’t notice.
“Why, does that turn you on, Gohan?”
Damn it, why couldn’t Piccolo be a mean drunk instead of a horny one?
Before Gohan could answer no, of course he wasn’t turned on by people watching what should be his very private moments with Piccolo, he was slammed up against a palm tree as Piccolo kissed the life out of him while simultaneously ridding Gohan of his clothes.
“Mmph! Mmph! Mmph…” Gohan’s protests began to die down as Piccolo sloppily forced his tongue into his mouth and began to grind up against him.
They made out madly for the next few minutes, when Gohan suddenly felt the distinct feeling of two dry fingers entering him.
“Mm-mmph!” he said in discomfort. Just because he was part-Saiyajin didn’t mean he didn’t appreciate the use of some sort of lubricant.
“Mmph,” Piccolo responded, removing his fingers to push Gohan’s legs up and around Piccolo’s hips (when had Piccolo’s clothes been removed, anyway?).
Suddenly there was a wet THWOP! and Gohan was flat on his back in the wet sand, legs still curled around Piccolo’s hips. There was some splashing, and wet fingers pushing in. Piccolo had used salt water for a lubricant. Well, it was better than nothing.
“Mmph! Mmmmph…”
The large fingers were pushing in, out, in, and then they were scissoring, scissoring in and out, and then Piccolo added a third finger. Gohan wanted to jerk his head about in order to try to explain the pleasure he was feeling, but Piccolo was still very interested their deep kiss.
Finally, Piccolo released his mouth, only to push up somewhat and remove his fingers. Gohan snarled for two seconds before feeling Piccolo slam up inside of him, not pausing for a second until he was in as far as he could be.
“Oh…oh…oh *God,* Piccolo-san!” Gohan cried put, wrapping his arms around Piccolo’s neck and clutching the larger man to him. “Ohgodohgodohgodmovemovemovemovepleeeeeeeease! Piccolo-saaaaaaaaaan!”
Piccolo growled and pulled out completely before slamming right back in, out and then in and then out and then in…
…right as a wave crashed over the couple, drenching them completely. Not stopping his thrusting for a second, Piccolo began to lick the salt water off Gohan’s face. As the long, sinuous tongue began to lick at his lips, Gohan opened his mouth and pulled Piccolo’s head in for another heated kiss as he was pounded into the wet sand. In and out and in and out and finally Gohan couldn’t take it anymore as he came screaming, “PICCCCCCCCOLO-SAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!!!!!!!”
Piccolo kept thrusting into his lover until he buried his face into Gohan’s neck and bit down as he came forcefully into Gohan’s warm, tight body. He slumped over onto Gohan, breathing hard.

“Well, well, well. Our little Gohan has certainly grown up, hasn’t he?” chuckled Muten Roushi.
“I can’t believe you just watched Gohan and Piccolo…you know,” said Kuririn as he stepped over an unconscious Yamcha. “I knew you were desperate, but interspecies homoerotica?”
“Oh, pipe down,” Roushi growled. “Since you and Juuhachigou seemed to have taken vows of celibacy, I’ll take anything I can get!”
Embarrassed, Roushi stomped off to his room, undoubtedly to have a good wank.* Shaking his head, Kuririn headed back up the stairs, where Juuhachigou was waiting.
“Someday he’s gonna realize that while he’s been jerking off to magazines, we’ve been going at it behind sound-proof walls,” Kuririn said to her.
“Hn. Maybe, but until then…” Juuhachigou gripped Kuririn by the hair and pulled him into their bedroom. “…on your knees, my midget bitch.”
“Yes, ma’am!”

[Meanwhile, at the Daimaou-Son residence…]
“Oh, my God,” gasped out Goten. “We have *definitely* upset the aura in Piccolo-san’s meditating room.”
“Well,” Trunks panted. “Look at…it this…way. If…if they’re this…this late…” he paused to catch his breath. “Then we probably…probably have all night…all night to…run away.”
There was silence, save for the slowing breaths of the two boys.
Goten finally broke the silence.
“Bet we have time for one more round,” he said.
“Fuck the aura,” growled Trunks, rolling on top of his boyfriend.

*I can’t help it, I love British expressions.